One Eye, Full of Wisdom
by MrBright01
Summary: Kakashi survived his losses in spirit as well as in body, and having learned both wisdom and intellect from his experiences, he now seeks to pass those traits on to his students. Story emphasis is on tactical fighting, mind games, adventure, and the occasional bout of humor. GenFic, no story stealing OC's or creepy romance between children. Current Arc: The End of Team 7.
1. Meet Team 7

**A note for new readers…**

This is a living work. I return regularly to edit any errors whenever I manage to spot a grammar issue or inconsistency. Please, feel free to PM any you spot to me, or mention in a review you leave. I didn't get a beta reader until around Chapter 27, so there is always something to fix.

Until about halfway through the Wave arc, each chapter is short by design. They are intended to set up the story to the point where canon diverges significantly. I would recommend that new readers reach Chapter 9 to get a full idea of my writing style and for the direction of this fic. After that, the length of the chapters increase as things begin to snowball away from canon. I tend to update once every month or so at my current rate. The chapters are still short compared to the six month updates you often see on this site, but then, it's not a six month wait.

**(SLIGHTLY LESS) SMARTASS "TRIGGER" WARNING as requested by _FaolenBookWolf_**

Beware any omake that is written by Trollrochimaru. He is a bad fic writer, and has no sense of propriety, so he tends to discuss a broad range of subjects, such as homosexuality, which is apparently a reason to not read my fic for some, despite it only coming up in omakes so far. It is never the sort of writing that has jiggly bits in it (That's what Trollraiya is for, and I don't intend to let him out of the dungeon). But it does refer to such things. Read at your own risk, you poor, misguided souls. Because, really, homophobes on a _fanfiction_ site? Brave, but foolish.

**Because I enjoy playing the "Egomaniac" card from time to time, here's some snippets from some of my better-written reviews. This is shared partially in thanks to my awesome reviewers, partially for humor, and in a manner that is completely self aware as to how ghastly it is to put some reviews on the front page. Apparently some folks don't get the joke, so there, now I explained it. Happy?**

"_(The story is) fast paced, doesn't repeat what isn't necessary, and rich with character development to characters that desperately need it._" -Saiyakitsune

"_Your characterizations are great and there's a good amount of humor, which I appreciate._" -Mirilindir

"_You both continue to press and surpass my expectations._" - Death276

"_... that was the best Chuunin exam fight for Naruto I've ever read!_" -AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius

"_If the rest of your exams come anywhere close to that moment of shock for_ me, _you'll have successfully injected fresh breath into one of the most sacred arcs of Naruto, one that most authors are simply unable to alter in any way, something I was honestly beginning to think was impossible._" -PoisonedWit

"_1 Ryo equals 10 Yen._"- Every person who reads Chapter 3 without a grasp of economics or who has not read the copious Author's Notes on the chapter, please, dear god in heaven, don't tell me about Kishimoto's word on it, because it does not work as a practical economy, see chapter three for an interesting bit of detail on all of this, if you read this thus far, congratulations, you might get my humor, as this is a word ninja, hiding in plain sight, but seriously, don't say it.

"_I can understand if writing this out gave you some pleasure as a fan of Naruto, but it simply doesn't make sense. I also understand why you would; wish fulfillment is the first temptation any fan fiction writer has." - _Harlequin de Rustre

"_What? I simply HAD to include one of the few__deeply negative reviews__I seem to have picked up that isn't ego inflating garbage, or else I'd be about as fair and balanced as Fox News_." - MrBright01, on why he included the above quote in this ego inflating garbage.

"_That was f-CENSORED-g amazeballs :D_" -serialkiller

**Are you pumped? Yeah! Good, let's start the fic!**

* * *

Kakashi let the eraser bounce off his head.

It was such a simple trap. He could see it as soon as he turned into the hallway outside the classroom. A chalk eraser crammed halfway out of the front door, the door wedged open to hold it in place. Only a literal idiot could fall for such a thing.

If anyone knew the value of being underestimated, it was Kakashi the Copy Ninja. With a light puff of chalk, the eraser rebounded from his hair and clunked to the floor, to the explosive laughter of one of his potential genin, Uzumaki Naruto. The little blond boy was clutching at his sides and pointing as he laughed, surprisingly cheerful for what Kakashi had read in the boy's files.

Under his mask, Kakashi smiled as his second potential genin, Haruno Sakura, apologized profusely, almost able to hide her own amusement at the little prank. The girl with the oddly pink hair was known by her teachers as studious and intelligent, but her somewhat severe dislike for Naruto was also well documented.

His smile dropped when he noticed his third potential genin, Uchiha Sasuke, glaring at his teammates in judgment from his chair. His file had been full of praise for his skills, and had a glaring omission for the boy's relationships with his peers. Not one of his former teachers ever claimed to see the boy smile, after his clan was destroyed.

_That one will be the biggest problem, I think. To be so focused and humorless is a poor sign at that age, I can attest to that personally. With any luck, I can be for him what Minato was for me. _Kakashi crouched and picked up the eraser, looked at it thoughtfully, and declared to his new team, "Hmm... my first impression of this team is... amusing."

Naruto smirked. Sakura tried not to smirk. And Sasuke scowled that much harder.

_Right, let's see what our cute little students are like._ Out loud, he said, "Meet me on the roof in ten minutes," then vanished in a puff of smoke. He did not go far, only a few feet so he could stand on the wall outside the window and listen to what they did. Naruto shouted in surprise, then gleefully proclaimed he would learn how to do that before charging out the door. Sakura gave a single deep inhale, then asked Sasuke to escort her to the roof in a voice that all but proclaimed to the world her infatuation. Sasuke said nothing beyond a single irritated grunt, and the sound of his footsteps receding clearly indicated he was hurrying to stay away from her.

Kakashi sighed and looked out into Konohagakure, trying to spot the shop he had visited after inspecting Naruto's barren home only hours ago and reviewing the files on all three of his students. He caught sight of it, and after one last check to ensure his flight path was clear, leaped into the air to pick up his order.

He returned minutes later with a shopping bag in hand, but decided on a whim to hide himself in the decorative trees on the roof and observe his students instead of announcing himself. He watched as the three children silently fumed at each other, Sakura against Naruto, Naruto against Sasuke, and Sasuke against everyone, up to and including the step he was sitting on. Kakashi sighed to himself and dropped down in front of them, getting all three of them to jump slightly in surprise.

"Let us introduce ourselves over lunch," he said, pulling out several special bento boxes he had ordered from the shop. He set one down on the ground next to him, a plain gray box with a thick black strap. "I am Hatake Kakashi. I like things that I cannot talk about until you're eighteen. I dislike people who abandon their friends and teammates. I cannot talk about my hobbies until you're at least sixteen. I have no future goal at this time that I can tell you at your age." At his words, Sakura and Naruto glared at him, practically mouthing the word "pervert" together. Sasuke didn't react, and if Kakashi had not seen him shift slightly, he would have assumed he was being completely ignored.

Kakashi offered a bento to Sakura first, a large pink thing decked out in sakura petals and little hearts decorating it, but when she tried to take it, he held it firmly in place. She seemed to get the hint and bowed to him politely. "I'm Haruno Sakura. I like... the person I like..." At this she blushed and turned to look at Sasuke, who ignored her. "My hobby is... that is, my dream is..." She continued to blush and steal glances at the brooding Uchiha, who had yet to react, even when she gave out a high pitched squeal.

_Fangirl kunoichi_, thought Kakashi, who proffered the bento again. It was hardly a shocking guess. Kakashi, along with many other jonin, had long noticed a tendency for young would-be kunoichi to gravitate towards a romantic view of their job, and it always amused him to hear Kurenai, an otherwise very level-headed and friendly woman who also happened to be a talented illusion mistress, rant about the fangirls she had to deal with during her time in the academy. Kakashi had nothing but respect for female shinobi... if they could get past the romantic garbage they tended to pick up before graduation.

Sakura took the bento, gave another small bow, and opened it. She then frowned slightly and held it away from her with a look of distaste. It was filled with protein and carbohydrates, a cheeseburger and a selection of fried foods, the only hints of green being a pickle that looked suspiciously brown and crunchy and a single wilted lettuce leaf slathered in ketchup in a sad attempt to hide it under the meaty burger.

"You are terribly thin, Sakura," said Kakashi after she rejected her food choice. "You have no apparent muscle mass, and frankly, I am fairly sure you're following the civilian trend of dieting yourself to that point. Starting tomorrow, you will be a proper kunoichi, and that means training until your muscles give out, then doing it again the next day, and the next, and so on. Your body will need all the fuel it can get, and I assure you, your figure will not suffer for it. So eat. The shinobi world is a cruel and dangerous place for those who value appearance over capability."

Sakura glanced at Sasuke, who did not react, and ignored Naruto, who appeared to be drooling slightly and not watching her at all. She bowed again, then sat and quietly began to eat. Kakashi saw the tiny little smile she had once she started eating. He had been careful to get only the best for his student, as one good meal often encouraged another one later. _One possible disaster down,_ he thought to himself.

He next held out a bento to Naruto, a bright and ugly orange thing wrapped haphazardly with blue string. The boy grabbed it and tried to tug it out of his hands repeatedly, ultimately hanging off of his arm like a blond monkey. Kakashi cleared his throat and stared meaningfully at the kid until he pouted and gave a short bow. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, especially the ramen at Ichiraku, and even more so when Iruka-sensei pays for it! I hate waiting for cup ramen to cook. My hobby is to eat and compare cup ramen! And my dream is to become Hokage! I'll make the villagers acknowledge me!"

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eye as he handed the bento to Naruto. He had very little information on the holder of the nine-tailed fox, mostly because every report and opinion he had found focused on three things: his tendency to prank, his "impossible" dream to become Hokage, and his terrible grades. Kakashi suspected he would be doing a lot of remedial training with the boy in the future, but he also saw some potential. The sheer number of individual and highly creative pranks the boy had pulled off was impressive, and the fact that he got away with them almost every time until Iruka learned how to yell a confession out of him was encouraging. The fact that the Hokage had high hopes for the boy was also very telling, as he was known to use his crystal ball to spy on the boy regularly.

"I saw how much you liked ramen," Kakashi said, as the boy tore into his bento excitedly... then gave out a yelp when he saw the contents of the box. It was filled to the brim with leafy greens of many sorts, and in the midst of it was a small pile of different sliced meats. "The Hokage saw how much you like ramen too. And we both saw how much of it you eat. He has charged me with shopping for your food, which I will do each Sunday. The remainder of your funds will be given to you then. This will continue until I believe you are able and willing to purchase more balanced food."

Naruto was barely listening, his face drooping. "No... no more ramen..." he muttered sadly, sinking to the ground with a mournful look on his face.

Kakashi sighed, loudly and melodramatically, then said, "No, only some ramen. Not all ramen. And ramen will have to come out of your own pocket after other food. This is a selection of foods. Try them and let me know what you like." Naruto moped about that, but Kakashi had the Hokage's blessing on this, so he was unconcerned. He reached into the bag and took out the last bento, a second dull gray box, this one with a red ribbon on it. He arched his one visible eyebrow and looked at Sasuke expectantly.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he said from where he sat. "I hate many things, and like very few things. And I have a goal more important than a mere dream, the revival of my clan... and to kill a certain man."

_Oh, goody_, thought Kakashi. He was no stranger to the more brutal aspects of shinobi life. He'd killed plenty of people, sometimes in quite messy and unpleasant ways. Like many shinobi, Kakashi coped with the memories and necessities by finding an outlet for his misery. He loved playing mind games with friends, just like Asuma loved cigarettes and Guy loved "the power of youth." And then, you got people like Sasuke, people who had nothing left of their old life but dreams tainted by the bitterness of their losses, and no future but to kill. Kakashi saw more than a few pass through the ANBU ranks while he was a captain there. Most of them left in body bags when they finally broke under the stress and made a fatal mistake on a mission, and Kakashi damn well wouldn't permit the last Uchiha to follow that explosively disastrous route if he could help it.

That the man he wanted to kill was his own brother probably made it even worse.

Kakashi shook the gray bento cheerfully at his mopey student. With an annoyed grunt, Sasuke stood, snatched the box from Kakashi's hand and opened it. He then pulled out a small, foil-wrapped square mass, a look of disgust appearing on his face. "Field rations," he said, a little tint of anger in his voice.

"Field rations," replied Kakashi, opening his own bento and taking an identical package from it. The little foiled blocks of misery, technically called Field Rations, but often called Final Resorts among the shinobi community, were perfectly balanced to give a shinobi everything they needed for a hard day of battle and murder. They also tasted about as delightful as their foil wrapping, so much so that some ANBU he knew would often eat them while wrapped, foil and all, when they were really having a rough day on the job. Kakashi had approached the Akimichi clan, hoping to improve the taste, only to be informed that the field rations he knew and loved to hate were the _improved_ ones from the last captain who had brought it up, and that the blocks were so dense with nutrients that no amount of flavor would ever make them more than tolerable.

Kakashi casually unwrapped half of his ration bar, a wistful smile crossing over his face as that thick, appetizing smell of super-processed chemically-balanced cardboard hit him. "I know a little about you, Sasuke, from talking to your academy teachers. You never speak to anyone. Never socialize. Never have fun. Never relax. If you want to be a machine of a man, then you may as well eat naught but field rations. They taste terrible, but they are all you need to survive. Why eat things that taste better, if you don't enjoy them?" He held out his half-unwrapped bar in a mock toast.

Sasuke grunted in annoyance and sat down, tossing the ration packet aside. He glowered straight ahead, which happened to be at Kakashi, even as his stomach growled.

He was still glaring when Sakura stepped into his field of vision. Half of her burger was on the lid of her bento, and she was holding it out to him with a tentative smile. He heard an annoyed grunt to his right, so similar to his own, and glanced at Naruto, who looked away and held out the remainder of his own meal. "I don't like you, Sasuke... but nobody likes field rations, and nobody deserves them. Not even you."

"I don't need your pity," grumbled Sasuke.

"It's not pity," replied Sakura quietly, laying the lid down in front of him.

"It's friendship, teme," said Naruto, who looked at Sasuke and gave a small smile. "We'll be a team now. We should act like it, when I'm not kicking your butt in a spar or something."

Sasuke stood and started to walk away from his teammates, and Kakashi gave a little sigh. He thought for a brief moment, less than a second, and decided that if it came to it, he'd rather an impotently angry Uchiha than one who thought he could get away with blowing off his teammates. Kakashi waves his hand cheerfully, and loudly called out, "So you want to go back to the Academy, Uchiha?"

Sasuke stopped walking, and Kakashi could see the boy's fists tightening.

"Konohagakure does not need weak shinobi who get themselves and their teammates killed, Sasuke-kun, and that is exactly as you would become if you walk away now. You will go back to the Academy with a note in your files, 'Does not work well with others.' You will certainly get no training from me. And you will keep returning, with the same message to each teacher, from every jonin I know who is competent enough to train you well, because we'll all see the same thing. Until you finally get someone who has no idea what you have suffered and decides to keep you in their team even if your team suffers for it, out of _pity."_

Kakashi's cheerful voice did not waver in spite of the boy's sudden tenseness. "And then, you will know more suffering, more regret, more _pity_, because you will become a magnet for death. Your own callous, uncaring nature will make you and those around you suffer. Allies will die because they believe they cannot ask you for help, and the survivors will _pity_ you for your loss. Potential friendships will die, because after being rebuffed too many times, people tend to give up and find other friends, and those lost friends and allies will look on you with _pity_ when you walk by. Right now, you go home to silence, but you are not alone yet, because you have been surrounded by others and forced to interact with them in the Academy setting. You will not know loss until you realize you have not spoken for a week and nobody cares because they think of you as an object of their environment instead of a human."

Kakashi started to walk slowly towards Sasuke, watching the boy's fists turn white while he spoke. "And then, you'll die. Maybe you'll refuse help as you take on a foe stronger than you. Maybe you'll snap and chase after your brother before you are ready, and get slaughtered by someone powerful enough to slay your entire clan. Maybe you'll live a long and dull life of failure before having a heart attack at home and dropping dead, unnoticed and unlamented until someone happens to sense the smell of your rotting body and contacts the authorities out of _pity_ for the poor old man who had no one to care for him."

Kakashi came to a stop behind Sasuke. "In none of these cases do you get your revenge. In all of these cases, you fail to revive your clan. Those schoolgirls who crush on you now in that annoying way eventually grow into women who know better than to waste their time. No children, no future, and the Uchiha clan dies with you. On the path that you are currently on..." Kakashi reached out and gently grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, turning the around to face him, "...you will fail at everything you claim you want."

Sasuke's face was set in a deep scowl, his eyes clenched shut. "Look at me," Kakashi commanded, and he was not surprised to see that the boy's eyes were shining when the boy did as he was told. "You may be surprised to know that I understand what it is to lose all that you value," he said, his voice no longer sounding cheerful. "I found my father, the only family I had, dead in his home, having killed himself for his idea of honor. I watched my teammate die in front of me, a testament to my failure. I watched my sensei die because I was not strong enough to save him. I worked in ANBU for years, and many of my friends there died because as good as I am, I am not perfect, and I cannot be everywhere at once. The pain never vanishes, even with revenge. You cannot succeed in your goals as an emotionless machine, because even if you win the battle, you'll lose the war, and die a terrible death after an unfulfilled life."

Kakashi gently steered Sasuke back towards the group, and felt a moment of hope when Sasuke did not resist, although the boy clenched his eyes shut again to hide the unshed tears. Kakashi ordered him to look again, to look directly at his team, and thank the kami, both Naruto and Sakura managed to pick up the spirit of this little moment, because they both smiled instead of looking worried, which Sasuke would probably interpret as pity. "Both of these people are willing to go the distance, to try and met you halfway, in spite of your disdain for them. Sakura may annoy you, but despite your constant rejection, she still seeks to help you when things go bad. And I know a bit about your rivalry with Naruto, but here he is, offering the food off of his plate to you. They are telling the truth, Sasuke. It is not pity to help a person you know and care for, it is friendship. I don't think they're going to expect you to become a cheerful person, but some acknowledgment of their care would not be unkind."

Sasuke looked down at the ground for a few moments, blinking furiously. Eventually he did manage to look up and force a smile, a weak one but one none the less, and with a degree of hesitancy that Kakashi found both amusing and familiar from his own youth, the boy said, "Thanks, I guess." He looked over at Naruto's bento, and his smile became a little more comfortable, and a little more taunting. "Even if you already ate everything good, dobe."

Naruto's jaw dropped, and he stood, ready to yell. Sakura stood as well, a single pointing finger aimed squarely at Naruto. But neither one of the pulled the food away from Sasuke, and in that moment, Kakashi made his decision. _I can work with this._

Everyone froze when Kakashi started clapping.

When he had their attention, Kakashi stretched and said, "There is a saying I have adopted from a dear friend of mine. The saying is, those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. The greatest power of any shinobi is their ability to work with other shinobi." He held out his hand, fingers spread. "Individually, there is always a weakness." He closed his hand into a tight fist. "Together, those weaknesses are negated, and all that is left is strength."

Kakashi watched his students as he spoke and saw the message hit home, especially for a certain angst-ridden Uchiha who wanted power, which was exactly what Kakashi was hoping for. _Get them emotional and then present your argument when their logical tendencies are influenced by that emotion. Sasuke will be pissed when I teach them that and he realizes what I did, but by then he'll be healthy enough to handle it, hopefully._

"Traditionally," he continued, "I would use something known as the Bell Test to determine if you could work as a team. In it, you must take two bells from my person. It is always said that only the two with the bells would pass, in the hopes of driving a wedge between the team, and those who could not cooperate were failed and sent back to the academy." He raised a hand, forestalling the inevitable gasps and shouting. "I will not fail you. You all have shown a willingness to cooperate among yourselves in spite of your differences, even if it was harder for some than others." Kakashi smiled when Naruto gave Sasuke a gentle punch in the arm and a grin, and was satisfied when Sasuke managed to keep his already-strained smile in place and Sakura managed not to hit Naruto in turn. "Tomorrow, we will meet at Training Ground Three. You will be tasked with taking the bells from me. You cannot hope to stop a jonin such as myself on your own, or even as a team. I merely want to see what you can do, given an impossible task. Prepare yourselves." He waved cheerfully, then vanished.

Sasuke shook his head and started to walk away, far more tired than he wanted to admit, then stopped when Naruto snagged his arm. "Hold up, teammate," the orange boy said quickly. "We need to plan!"

Sasuke scoffed. "What is there to plan," he said. "You charge in and get a beatdown. Sakura runs away and gets a beatdown. I attack and snag the bells."

Naruto rolled his eyes at that comment, but it was Sakura who spoke up. "Sasuke-kun, he is a jonin, and a famously powerful one. We are all genin, brand new and with no real training. He could almost certainly club all three of us down without a thought. He must want something other than a straight fight and I think it has something to do with the whole teamwork thing."

Naruto nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah, what Sakura-chan said! We need a plan!"

Sasuke turned to leave, then stopped and turned back to them, Kakashi's words still fresh in his mind. _I can at least give them a chance, I_ _guess_, he thought. _I can do that much_. He frowned, glaring at them, before letting out a sigh and crossing his arms. "Fine," he grumbled, his voice filled with distaste. "Let's hear this idea of yours..."

* * *

**EDIT: **After much consideration (and a lot of reviews arguing for it) I decided to go into more detail on turning Sasuke away from his path of misery. To be honest, I always felt that in canon, a properly timed and painfully honest word from a respectably powerful shinobi around this time could have saved a great deal of trouble later. By the time Kakashi tries to correct Sasuke's sociopathic traits in canon, they had already been reinforced enough to become a serious problem, and being scornful at anyone is not particularly helpful in the first place. I don't object to how canon went, because Kakashi was a broken person himself, but if I am to change someone in this fic, I need to start early.

**EDIT EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author Notes: **Before you continue, you may want to see this, as it spells out a few of the fan fiction tendencies and habits I will and will not use. Some readers determine their preferred reading based on some of these, so some fair warning might be in order.

* I will not be using the _**Callout Attack: Japanese Words I Have No Right to Claim I Know Technique **_format, because I suspect a big part of the challenge of writing this, and doing so in an interesting manner, is requiring myself to describe the action instead of using memetic cues to make you supply the imagery in your head. That is not to say the gloating villain or hyperactive blond may not occasionally call it out as appropriate, it simply will not replace the description. While that system works great for a manga, where the reader may need the hint on what techniques are used during the more busy and crowded moments, or in an anime for dramatic effect, I think it falls short often times in writing because it becomes a shortcut to writing a fight scene. The only exception to this are things that are either iconic, in which case they will be described and defined in the story (such as the "henge" technique), and things that do not really work in the English language, whether due to cultural divide or terms that do not have a good match in my native tongue, in which case the same rule of description applies.

* In general, I will be using the Japanese naming system, last name first. I will favor Japanese names unless they sound like the kind of thing a racist would use in casual conversation (The "Trump Rule"). For example, I generally use "Maito Guy," as opposed to "Might Guy," because while it is drawn from English, it is reasonably distinct and believable. "Rokku Lee," meanwhile, sounds like a bad (and racist) joke, so I defer to the English version, "Rock Lee."

* I generally avoid "Fanon," but it does crop up in a few places. My personal rule is, if I can imagine it happening in real life under those exact circumstances, it can happen in my story. As far as I have been told, the only place that "fanon" has been added at this point is Chapter 3, which adopts two common and reasonably believable traits that appear in fanfiction a great deal, and which I have an acknowledgment there before the chapter starts.

* I do not focus on pairings. I do not focus on pairings. I do not focus on pairings. I renounce that thrice. My story will not be focused on romance, and certainly will not go into what I shall call the "core mechanical aspects" of it. Not to say there will never be an "awww" moment in my story, or that I'll never pair off the characters. Pairings will happen eventually, because to pretend otherwise would be to deny a part of human existence, but they will be realistic, and if you know anything about real world relationships, they are rarely as romantic as portrayed in the media (and especially fanfiction). If you are pairing oriented, at this point you can assume canon pairings until and unless I find a good reason to do otherwise, and that's in my eyes, not yours, because "Sakura and Gaara make such a cute couple together" is not in itself a valid argument.


	2. The Value of Planning Ahead

Kakashi was not in the habit of showing up on time for anything. In truth, he was famous for being late to every event, no matter how important. This reputation had been carefully cultivated for many years, and as far as he knew, nobody ever expected him to arrive at an appointed time, never mind early. The reason for this habit was simple. If nobody expected him on time, then they would never look for him.

Nearly an hour before the test was supposed to start, he had arrived at Training Ground Three. There he waited, crouched in a carefully constructed blind in the trees, known of and maintained secretly by every jonin who took on students and brought them to the place. This training ground was simple, a large dirt clearing surrounded by trees, save for the side with a river on its border. Three wooden posts had been hammered into the ground at some point, and showed signs of regular and brutal target practice from its past use.

He watched silently as Sasuke, Sakura, and eventually Naruto all arrived exactly on time. He observed them for a further two hours, as the sun rose higher and higher, and was glad to note that each of them, Sasuke included, were a little more chatty, generally whispering quietly to one another, possibly planning. At one point, he distinctly thought he heard Naruto say, "That would never work," only for Sakura to shush him.

Eventually he decided they had waited enough to be good and angry, so he took off silently for the entrance of the training ground. Once he arrived there, he started taking a slow and leisurely walk towards his students. When he walked into view, he raised his hand in greeting. "You're late," they all shouted at him. Even Sasuke looked vexed at his late arrival.

Kakashi shrugged and pointed down the road. "You see, a black cat crossed my path and... and..." He shrugged again, and dropped the story, much to his amusement and their aggravation. "So, let's move on." He pulled out an alarm clock and set the alarm for noon, then attached a pair of silver bells to his belt. "You have until noon to claim the bells. Use any means you can." He looked up at them, and let a little iron into his voice. "Come at me with the will to kill me. Nothing less will work against someone of my caliber. Understood?"

The students nodded and settled into fighting stances.

"Right," he said, as he reached into his belt pouch and pulled... "it"... out.

All three of his students stared as he took his well-worn copy of Icha Icha Paradise and flipped it open in front of his face, and he was amused to see even Sasuke turned a little pink. After a few moment and a giggle, he looked back at them, and said, "Well? Begin."

"All right! Let's have a fair fight!"

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eye at Naruto as he stood there and brazenly challenged him to a one-on-one fight. He was surprised to see the other two back off slightly, as if they would take no part in it. "Very well, I'll teach you the first shinobi art, taijutsu, then."

Naruto charged at Kakashi, a little bundle of furious energy windmilling across the dirt. He came in high with a leaping punch, and Kakashi didn't even bother to look at the boy as he grabbed Naruto's fist and pivoted, throwing the boy over his shoulder to tumble in the dirt. Undeterred, Naruto rolled to his feet and came in low, aiming for Kakashi's knee. Kakashi raised his leg, again without looking, and let Naruto slide harmlessly by.

"You know, if taijutsu is not your particular skill, maybe you should stop trying to use it against me."

Naruto yelled and charged, this time keeping his feet on the ground. His stance and attacks were sloppy, ill disciplined, but they were also much harder to predict. Kakashi was willing to grant that, in a one-on-one fight, Naruto would probably manage the middle of the back from his Academy class. Not bad for a genin, but not outstanding. Kakashi noticed that the other two were positioning themselves on either side of him, and took several steps back to keep them within his vision as he parried Naruto's ineffective efforts.

Then Naruto was jumping away from him, and he laughed as he shouted, "Now!" Kakashi ducked slightly and glanced at the other two genin... who did nothing, simply standing in place and watching him. Then they raised their fingers and made the sign of release, vanishing into two puffs of smoke... two very large puffs of smoke that flowed around him and Naruto. _A smoke screen, using two clones to keep me in place. Meanwhile, the other two must be off planning something._ Kakashi found himself approving of their efforts. They obviously had a plan worked out, if they needed no communication, but in the drifting smoke, Kakashi could still see nothing threatening. Then he heard the faint whistle of wire swishing through the air at high speed, approaching from all sides. _Oh ho_, he thought cheerfully as Naruto jumped over the rapidly approaching wire, _a trap. How quaint._

Kakashi jumped hard, straight up, and pulled the forehead protector that covered his other eye up slightly. His sharingan eye activated instantly, taking in the details of his surroundings with perfect clarity, and he used it to observe the trap in motion below him. He saw several lines crossing through the space he had been standing in earlier, and as he watched, further lines could be seen starting to move through the loose dirt of the training ground. Layer after layer of wire started to pull in towards where they had been fighting, crossing the entire area like a flower slowly closing around him. He could see them all, hundreds of wires flowing into the pattern and starting to cloud the area below with the dirt that concealed them. Even as he reached the apex of his leap, he saw the first strands hit the three training posts, where they struck with enough force to dig into the wood, and more than enough force to bind Kakashi to them if they had caught him.

_Not bad_, he thought, _but not good enough..._ _oh. _That was when he noticed the single wire attached to the ground, almost exactly under him and pulled tight in a path that lead straight at him... and past him. A shadow flickered in the corner of his eye, and he smiled even as he turned his back to the ground below and raised his arms to prepare for the attack.

Sasuke, using the wire to guide him, had jumped from the edge of the trees, swinging in a perfect parabolic arc, and when he was above Kakashi he had pulled hard, dragging himself out of the arc and flying straight at his teacher, head first and leg cocked for a powerful kick.

Kakashi blocked the kick, feeling it hammer hard into his arms hard enough to risk harming him if it had landed. He barely felt the tug at his belt, but he felt it, and smiled even harder as he resisted the urge to stop the genin from snagging the bells. _I don't need to win here, _he thought, _I need to lose to their combined efforts. How else would you encourage teamwork?_ He gave Sasuke a push to make sure the boy landed on his feet instead of his head, then landed on his own feet with a thud.

Sasuke landed, gracefully for such a hard landing, then straightened and looked at Kakashi with a smirk. He held his hand out, fist closed, then opened it to let the bells dangle and chime on their strings. From the tree line, hundreds of Naruto's shadow clones set up a cheer, a few even bursting out of the river to do so, while the original Naruto and Sakura broke cover and ran to join Sasuke.

Kakashi stood, tucking his book away, and allowed himself to smile under his mask. "Well done, you three. The trap was well executed and nicely layered, Naruto, and a good use of your excessive manpower. And Sasuke, you focused on the mission instead of proving yourself against me, which is the right choice for a shinobi." He looked at their grinning faces, and decided to go for broke, in the hopes of reinforcing the lesson. "Sakura," he said, allowing his voice to harden just a little, "I am disappointed you did nothing to contribute."

Her face fell as he said that, and Naruto sputtered and raised a fist to argue, but it was Sasuke who spoke first, glaring at Kakashi even harder than normal."When you left yesterday, she was the one who suggested we plan ahead and show up hours early to set a trap. She's also the one who suggested the wire trap idea after we found out the dobe could make shadow clones, and figured out where you would jump when it went off. She even suggested the wire I used to correct my course, so I could jump before you did and adjust accordingly." He said this in the same dull voice, like delivering a lecture, but his tone did nothing to negate the look of pride on Naruto's face, or the shocked and grateful blush on Sakura's.

"Yeah!" shouted Naruto. "She even put together a script for my clones to follow, so I could sound convincing if someone was watching us!" He crossed his arms and grunted. "Not that you'd have noticed, being so late and all."

Sasuke tossed the bells behind him, not even turning to look, and Sakura caught them as they fell. "It is as much her victory as mine or the dobe's. We won together." Behind him, his teammates cheered, and for a brief moment, just a moment, he smiled.

_Excellent,_ thought Kakashi, and he allowed himself a little pride as managing to teach the most important lesson they would ever need.

"Mah, mah, don't get too enthused," he said, waving his hands, "I took it easy on you, you know." They all smirked, and he laughed a little. "Still, I am proud of you three. That was excellent teamwork, and it'll help all of you in your future goals." He looked at Sasuke and tilted his head slightly. "All of your goals," he repeated, and Sasuke gave a small nod. "Well, let's go get lunch, and we'll talk on how we'll be training in the future, shall we? My treat."

Naruto and Sakura's excited shouts rang loud in his ears, but not loud enough to block out Sasuke's quiet whisper.

"As long as it's not ration bars."

* * *

Kakashi smiled at his students as they settled into the barbeque place he had taken them to. Naruto had been clamoring for ramen, of course, but Kakashi was footing the bill, and he still wanted to encourage Sakura to eat properly as a shinobi. He was quite content to note that when it came time to order their portions, Sakura's was no smaller than Sasuke's. He was much less pleased at the size of Naruto's order, but he decided to take the loss gracefully.

"You did well," he said after their server left with their order, a strange grimace on her face. The three of them beamed at him as he talked, still flush with excitement from their victory. "In the future, we will have the following schedule. Each day, you will arrive at training ground three no later than eight in the morning. I will try to arrive on time, but should I not arrive, you are to spar or otherwise practice whatever you have been assigned. I trust you to do so, both to make yourself and your teammates into better shinobi. At eleven, we will break for an hour for lunch and personal needs. After that, we'll take a mission, which will be far less exciting than you are thinking, Naruto." The orange-clad boy made a face, but he settled down a little.

"After the mission, we will return to Training Ground Three to continue training as I see fit. We will do this every day." He nodded as the genin looked at him with surprise. "No," he said cheerfully, "I don't intend to work you every day of the week. Instead, I want you to tell me when you need a day off. When you're so sore you think you might hurt yourself, when you need to get something important done, even if you just want to go see a movie, tell me, and I'll give you three the day off."

Kakashi had expected approval from at least two of the genin, but instead, all three looked rather upset about that arrangement. He smiled at them under his mask, and said, "That said, I will also work you as long as you like. If you don't need it, don't take it, and you'll get that much stronger for it."

Naruto grinned. "I'm sure not going to take any days off more than I have to. I need to become strong to become the Hokage."

Sasuke nodded in grudging approval at that. "For once, we agree, dobe. I need as much power as I can get. I'll be right there with you."

Sakura looked at the two of them. "I... I'm not sure I can do as much as you two. I'm not nearly as physically fit as you. I may need to rest my body at times." She didn't mention the occasional family demand, wouldn't, couldn't, not in front of Sasuke. And Naruto, she added as an afterthought. But she looked at their faces, both filled with a mix of understanding and disappointment, and vowed to do better. She clenched her fists and gave them a smile. "But I won't take a single day more than I have to."

Naruto cheered loudly, but Sakura barely noticed. She barely noticed their food arriving. She barely noticed eating her meal. She barely noticed the fight between Kakashi and Naruto when the boy tried to order seconds. Because in that brief moment, when she vowed to be stronger for them, Sasuke had turned and _smiled_ at her. It was a quick smile, and he had gone back to ignoring her after it, but it was the first time he ever reacted to her.

_IN YOUR FACE, INO-PIG!_, Sakura's inner self shouted.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Note: **People generally point out by now that Sasuke turns around awfully quick in this story. I could draw out the "Sasuke is angsty" thing longer, but to be honest, in the first canon arc, Sasuke is not nearly the sociopath he becomes after the Exam arc. He is, to some limited degree, sociable, if not friendly. The difference here is that someone who is known to be powerful has directly stated that power comes with teamwork. If Sasuke is willing to betray everything for power, how hard is it to believe that he might have tried something less drastic, if his teacher encouraged that trait instead of letting the little sociopath-to-be mope his way through teamwork building exercises without actually do a single thing to build teamwork. For the purposes of this story, I am working with the premise that at this point in time, Sasuke was still a kid, albeit a mentally scarred one.


	3. A Lesson in Economics

**Author's Warning:** I use two pieces of common fanon in this chapter. The explanation for why can be found below. The explanation on my choice of the value of ryo in Naruto is also below. _READ IT before telling me the value of Ryo. _In fact, search the internet for the following: "basic economics naruto reddit". Probably the first link. Go read it (and bonus points if you manage to read the TV Tropes link in the comments and come back within the hour). Then, come back and read this, and you will understand why I have claimed the value I have. I realize that Kishimoto has given a defined value. I also realize that the given value is economically unfeasible.

* * *

Kakashi waited for his sensei's son to wake up.

The apartment manager had ignored the security for this floor, having also decided to leave this floor unused aside from his special, Hokage-mandated guest. Naruto, apparently, had taken the lack of security to heart, and had laid more than a few traps. The false paper wall that concealed his front door had been interesting. The sneezing powder balloon in the front door keyhole had been amusing. The kunai launched at groin level had been a genuine surprise. Nobody would expect it after such basic and childish defenses.

Nobody but Kakashi, anyhow. He caught the kunai before it could hit, reset the trap, and sat patiently in Naruto's living room as the sun came up, thumbing through his book with only the occasional giggle. He tucked the book away quickly when he heard Naruto started to stir, and silently made his way to the bedroom door. As an afterthought, he drew a kunai and posed with it menacingly. _Paranoia is a good trait for shinobi, after all,_ he thought to himself.

"Good morning," he said cheerfully as soon as the door opened.

* * *

Once Naruto managed to calm himself and start his morning cup of ramen, he asked Kakashi what he was doing in his home. "Ahh," came the reply, "today is Sunday, and as you recall, I will be shopping for food for you."

"What's that got to do with me," grumbled Naruto, already mourning his blessed ramen.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't want to admit it, but he rather hoped Naruto would be more responsible if shown what sort of foods to buy. Not like he was being paid for the shopping trip. "Well," he said, crinkling his eye with a huge smile, "If you don't want the free meal at Ichiraku's..."

"Yatta!" shouted Naruto, jumping from the chair by the table. "Let's go!" He dashed for his bedroom, sleep clothes flying as he scrambled to get dressed.

"After the rest of the shopping," called out Kakashi, unheard.

* * *

It only took a few minutes of walking for Kakashi to notice the chilly reactions he and Naruto were getting from the crowds as they passed. Most of them outright ignored the boy as they passed, but more than a few civilians were giving the blond a hefty dose of stinkeye when they thought he was not looking. Those shinobi who passed by generally did not even notice the boy, but then, they barely paid attention to Kakashi either. "Oy, Naruto," Kakashi said quietly, "do they always act like this?"

Naruto frowned in apparent confusion. "Who?" he asked.

Kakashi nodded to one of the approaching civilians, an older woman who was already glaring at Naruto before he came near. When the boy got almost within reach, the woman stepped far to the side, never once letting Naruto out of her sight. She stood there glaring as the boy passed. Once she finally turned away, Kakashi stepped closer and whispered, "Them. I can understand why folks would not pay you any attention in specific, but do you always get this many glares?"

Naruto pouted. "Yeah. So?"

Kakashi said nothing. He had been told by the Hokage that Naruto knew about the Kyuubi locked inside of him, and had granted permission for Kakashi to discuss it in secret of need be, but it had never really crossed Kakashi's mind that even if the secret remained unsaid, most of the adults knew it anyhow, and allowed it to color their reactions. Everyone pretended he did not exist, except for those who took an active dislike in him.

Then Kakashi stiffened, as his mind finally turned up an answer to something he'd been curious about. Naruto's cupboards and refrigerator had been nearly bare each time he had been in there. He knew Naruto had been receiving a modest pension from the Hokage ever since he got the apartment, amounting to 5,000 ryo a week, and while that was not an extravagant sum by any measure, it should be enough to feed the boy with something better than cup ramen. Something did not add up, and Kakashi was starting to suspect he knew what.

They happened to be passing by a small corner shop, one that sold general civilian needs, so he paused and instruct Naruto to wait outside while he got something. When he walked in, he nodded his head. The shop carried civilian luxuries. Consumer electronics, children's toys, rare spices... and a rack of candy and junk food in front of the counter. He picked up a small package of pocky, priced at 10 ryo, just a cheap snack. He chatted with the owner for a few moments, making some banal conversation about the weather, then stepped back outside and led Naruto around the corner. "Naruto, I want you to walk into that store and buy one of these for me." He showed the blond the package he had, then sent him on his way.

Five minutes later, Naruto was back, pocky in hand and a sour look on his face.

"How much did it cost, Naruto," Kakashi asked.

Naruto humphed and held out the package and receipt. Kakashi looked at the slip of paper and frowned. "Naruto, I trust you to answer me truthfully, but I have to ask to be certain. Is the amount on this receipt correct?" Naruto nodded, looking down at the ground.

Kakashi stared at the slip. It was for 10 ryo of pocky, and after taxes, tariffs, and one particular surcharge that said only "cost of living," it came out to nearly 100 ryo. He could eat a full meal on that if he didn't do anything extravagant. A lot of things suddenly made terrible sense. He looked at Naruto, who seemed to be desperately trying not to cry. "It... took me this long because... well... now I can't even afford the cheap ramen."

"How much does the cheap ramen cost, Naruto?"

"I can get it at the one store for 200 ryo per cup."

200 ryo, three times a day, for seven days, came out to almost his entire budget. For cup ramen, worth very little more than this junk snack.

Kakashi nodded and gave Naruto enough money to cover the overpriced pocky. "Naruto, I want you to try something. I want you to use the henge jutsu to imitate me, then walk back in and buy another. If they ask, tell them it was good and you just wanted some more. And don't take out your money until they give you the total." Naruto nodded and performed the transformation, turning into a remarkably good imitation of Kakashi. After a quick inspection to ensure it was good enough to at least fool a civilian shopkeeper, Kakashi waved him on, and Naruto walked off to buy some more.

Within a minute he was back, walking slowly and staring at the receipt in his hands. Kakashi took it from him gently and looked at it.

10 ryo.

"Naruto, wait here a moment while I have a word with the owner."

* * *

"Ahh, Kakashi-sama, welcome back," said the shopkeeper. "Want some more already, ehh? Can't say I sell a lot to adult shinobi, but what do I know?"

Kakashi glanced at the shopkeeper as he approached and noted that the man looked... normal. No frown lines or furrowed brow. No snarling low tone of voice. No cold glare. Just depressingly normal, another dumpy and slightly pudgy civilian. Kakashi shook his head as he glanced around. "Just looking for something.. ahh." He picked up a small electric clock and brought it to the register. "Actually, there is a small problem. I think you may have mischarged me slightly on one of my purchases. I wonder if you could check my receipt?" The shopkeeper nodded quite cheerfully, and remained cheerful right until he saw the 100 ryo receipt.

"Oh," he said quietly, his face falling, "I am quite sure this was an accident, Kakashi-sama."

Kakashi nodded gracefully. "Of course, of course, these things happen."

The shopkeeper perked up.

"After all, to cheat someone is a terrible crime, no matter how young they are... or who they are."

The shopkeeper lost his smile.

"That crime, of cheating a shinobi in the service of Konohagakure, is punishable by litigation, forfeiture of property, jail time, or my personal favorite, death."

By now, the shopkeeper had gone pale.

"All the more so, if the shinobi in question had the personal favor of the Hokage for his service in keeping us safe from a _monster_."

The shopkeeper winced at that last part, and Kakashi knew he'd pegged the issue right on the nose.

"So undoubtedly, this sort of accident is unlikely to happen again if, say, that student of mine was to come in and purchase something."

The shopkeeper nodded frantically.

"Because if not," Kakashi said, still in a friendly tone that belied the look on his face, "I am sure Hokage-sama would be willing to reinstate me into ANBU just long enough for a sentence to be passed on such a case."

He casually laid his hand on the alarm clock and put a little elemental chakra into the device. The ear-splitting squeal as the speakers within buzzed, sizzled, and eventually melted, combined with the bright flash of the LCD overcharging and bursting into flames, seemed to make quite an impression on the shopkeeper. So did the melting plastic case as Kakashi increased the amount of chakra he was using for his little display of power. The shopkeeper apologized profusely in a shaking voice, gave him a full refund, and assured him no more mistakes would be made. Kakashi waved cheerfully as he walked out the door, leaving the flat, melted alarm clock where the drooping plastic had fused it to the counter.

Admittedly, the death part was a slight exaggeration, and punishment was highly unlikely to be to the level of ruining the man, but what he didn't know could keep him safe from mysterious fires and chidori holes in their doors at best and a furious, broken jinchuriki swearing vengeance on all who wronged him at worst. He knew he'd probably catch some flack from the Hokage for scaring a civilian with a death threat, but all the same, Kakashi smiled at a job well and truly done.

He kept smiling right until he turned the corner and saw the alley was now empty.

* * *

He found Naruto on top of the Hokage Monument some time later. The young man was just sitting there, arms around his legs, quietly sniffing. Kakashi walked over and had a seat next to him. He didn't speak, or put his arm around the boy, or otherwise comfort him. Any such comfort would be hollow at best. He just sat there and waited.

After a few minutes of silence, Naruto finally spoke. "Why?" he asked, his voice trembling.

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, I know about the law and all things involved in it, as are you. Unfortunately, so do the rest of the adults in the village. It simply could not be covered up at the time. The law is there because the Hokage knew that this might happen, and desired that at least you might get a clean slate with those of your generation.

They do not know you well, and blame you for something you had no control over, and treat you as something you are not. But with time, they will come to see you for who you are, just as Iruka did. Give them time, and they will come around. Meanwhile, once word gets out about my reaction to all of this, at the least they will give you a fair price."

Naruto was silent for a while, and they sat together, listening to the wind shake the leaves and branches of the forest that surrounded their village. Finally, Naruto seemed to come to a decision, and looked at Kakashi. "Should I tell them?"

Kakashi shrugged, and took it as a question on his entire generation, not just his team. "I cannot promise they will accept it without question. Some, undoubtedly, will not. But for the most part, I think it is better for them to know now, rather than find out later, should they figure it out for themselves. However, only you may tell them. I have permission to discuss this with you as needed, but nobody has permission to break that law fully except for you. It's up to you if, and when, you should."

Naruto lapsed into silence again, and remained that way until Kakashi handed him a small pad of paper. "This is a general list of prices for common goods. If you get charged anything more than this, I want you to come to me. I also want you to keep receipts for everything you buy, in case I need to refund you. And if at any time you are worried about being cheated, I give you permission to leave the shop and secretly Henge into me to make a purchase. But not for any other reason, got it?"

Naruto managed to smile a little at the harmless accusation of what he probably would have planned to do when he felt better, and tucked the list into his belt pouch. "I got it, Kakashi-sensei. No using your appearance for pranks."

"Good." Kakashi stood and stretched, then offered a hand to his young student. "I believe I still owe you a trip to Ichiraku's..."

Naruto smiled and took his hand to get up, and for just a moment, all was right with the world.

* * *

Kakashi happened to notice the tail they had picked up on the way to the stand, and when they turned a convenient corner, he created a shadow clone and sent it on its way. Naruto looked at him oddly, but he waved it off as nothing important. When the clone dispelled, informing him of their stalker, Kakashi almost giggled. It was sort of cute, knowing the little Hyuga heiress was following Naruto around like a lost puppy. Then the pieces fell into place in his mind, and over a bowl of remarkably tasty ramen, to the sound of Naruto's frantic slurping and Teuchi and his daughter's laughter, Kakashi began to plan for the growth of his students.

All of them.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Note:** It is here that we begin to depart meaningfully from canon. Kakashi in this story intends to train his students, and there is a very specific way for him to do so that should prove beneficial to all. I have a few chapters of training/background changes to cover, I think, before we hit the traditional Land of Waves arc.

**On Ryo, or "But Ryo is 10 yen!":** The value of 1 Ryo in Naruto, as I have been told many times, has been pegged at 10 Yen. The problem with that is that turns the value of a D-rank mission (5,000 Ryo) into $402.00 USD. For those of you who are about to comment on how prices are not defined in Naruto, I point out that they are. When Kishimoto says 1 Ryo is worth 10 Yen, that sets and actual real world value to goods as well. 1 Ryo will buy the equivalent to 10 Yen in goods. 1 USD is worth 124 Yen in those same goods. It's the reason you can take 402 USD and convert it into Yen, than buy 402 USD worth of goods in Yen (I'm glossing over tariffs and so on, they are not relevant to this particular discussion).

This is ludicrous. $402 dollars for pulling weeds or capturing a cat? Why get promoted then? Do 20 years of D-ranks and retire, having never risked your life.

If you are still reading, seriously, check the search I posted at the top of the page. Faced between impossible nonsense from the creator and making my own system, I went with the one that works for the story. Just like Madara will NOT be summoning multiple meteorites from space with an attitude of casual ease, my genin are not making CEO money for house chores.

Some have also pointed out that the money could be very high, and then reabsorbed through high prices on weapons, materials, and training for shinobi. This is a fallacy, because it ignores that someone, somewhere, is getting that money. In the end, someone gets rich under that system, and that richness would be what wrecks the economy, because whoever ends up with the money indirectly sets prices for the rest of them. Alternatively, the government charges high taxes on their own military... in which case it would be more efficient to just pay less and avoid the inflation problem.

**On Fanon: **There are two parts of this story that are fanon (that is, not canon compliant). At no point does Naruto canon provide evidence of price gouging, nor does it directly state that he gets unpleasant stares from adults. I have allowed these two bits of fanon because canon gives the implication it may be true, or at least feasible.

In the one time Naruto interacts with someone who does not like him or is not required to interact with him (outside of the Shippuden back-filler episodes, which I have not seen yet), the point where he sits outside on graduation day, and adults keep sneaking glances at him, he gets some unpleasant looks. Between that and his trend for pranks, I am willing to accept that piece of fanon for this work.

As for the price gouging, Naruto in canon appears to eat little but cup ramen and ramen at Ichiraku's. Note I said cup ramen. I am aware that there is plenty of good, wholesome ramen in Japan. I suspect that most of that good ramen does not come in a microwaveable container. I feel that his diet started as necessity before it became his thing, because the alternative is that the Hokage likes him, but not enough to keep him properly fed, which is quite dissonant from how he is portrayed.


	4. There is no 3 in Team

Kakashi sat at the bar, half an eye on his book and half of it on the crowd, as he waited for his target.

When she walked in, every male and most of the females immediately noticed. In a world of blacks and dark tones, her penchant for white bandages and red trim made her stand out like a lightning bolt on the plains, and her unnaturally red eyes marked her as something unusual. Because of her rather unique look, and her fairly recent promotion to jonin, many of the members of the Konoha shinobi forces still viewed her with at least a little doubt.

And if anyone knew the value of underestimation, it was Kakashi. He knew the woman had a fine and devious mind behind the flashy look, perfect for a illusion master like Yuhi Kurenai. He waved her over to his table, and waved once at the server as well. Much like police officers, bikers, and miners, shinobi tended to have a certain taste for alcohol and for the places they drank it. Kakashi had yet to see a shinobi bar that did not have an aura of serious people doing serious business with serious drinks. No fruity umbrellas and cherries on sticks. No fancy menus with humorously named cocktails that cost more than a meal. Sake, and lots of it, or whiskey, and lots of it if you had a taste for it. The server arrived with a bottle of sake and two cups, bowed, and left quietly to let them get on with their business. Kakashi pulled the privacy curtain shut, hiding their faces from view, then nodded to his visitor.

"Kakashi-san," said Kurenai, as he poured a cup for Kurenai. "You mentioned in your note that you had a proposition for my students and myself, I believe." Kakashi nodded and set the bottle down. He felt slight amusement when she did not immediately pick it up, but remained focused entirely on him. _Taking this serious,_ he thought. _Good_.

"I'll start by asking a question, to see if you noticed the same thing I have. You know that Hyuga Hinata has a habit of watching Uzumaki Naruto when he trains sometimes?" Kurenai nodded, and her eyes narrowed. "Relax," he said, raising one hand in peace, "I see nothing wrong with this. In truth, I see an opportunity. Your squad is slated to be a tracking squad, yes?"

She nodded, and her expression eased into a more neutral look. "Yes. All three of them are natural trackers. Hyuga Hinata has the Byakugan, allowing her to see her immediate surroundings. Inuzuka Kiba has a strong sense of smell and hearing, allowing him to follow at a distance. And Aburame Shino can use his insects to mark targets and track them at nearly any range. It was decided they would become a go-to team for observation and tracking in the future."

Kakashi nodded. "And how are they doing?"

She huffed. "Poorly. Shino is well trained by his clan and is fairly well rounded, but he is remarkably quiet and not endearing himself to the team. Kiba is energetic, but he tends to lead with his face and it's going to get him killed some day if he faces a remotely competent foe. And Hinata..." She turned a glare at Kakashi.

"What?" he asked.

"You have a habit of speaking out of turn. I want you to swear, on the names on the memorial, that you won't say a word of this."

_That's not a good sign_. Kurenai was not terribly close to him, but she knew him, and knew of him, enough to know that such an oath would be a very serious one for Kakashi. He joked and played around plenty, but he did not do so when it came to his former teammates... or his sensei. Kakashi agreed after a moment's thought and mentally braced himself for what must be terrible news.

"Hinata should not be a shinobi. Not yet, and maybe not ever." Kurenai sat a little stiffer in her seat and glared at the table. "She is so terrified of doing poorly, she fails to even try. I know she has the technique, but I can't get her to so much as punch her teammates. And every time I try to encourage her inner strength, her self doubt immediately sets in and kills any gain she might have made. I've watched it happen, so clear on her face that it is unmistakable." She looked to one side, in the direction of the wall, and silently mouthed the words, _Damned Clans_, and Kakashi understood the meaning, and her roundabout way of saying it. Clans in Konohagakure had a great deal of political power, as well as certain rights to control and command their members. Kurenai could do very little to help Hinata if the girl simply returned each day to the place that tore her self esteem to shreds.

Kakashi grinned, and poured some sake in the second cup and slid it across the table. _Sure, it's bad_, he thought, _but not nearly as bad as I feared. Really, no worse than my own students._ In the past week, Kakashi had begun training his students in tree climbing and physical fitness, and all of his own students had flaws he was having trouble working through.

Sasuke often became socially distant. He managed to become civil, and he even smiled at some points, but the moment Naruto or Sakura irritated him, he would return to his cold personality. He did not respect either of his teammates, and assumed he was stronger and deserved more attention and training from Kakashi.

Sakura was a fangirl, and it showed in her training. While she excelled at the tree climbing exercise, when it came time for the physical fitness, she refused to work any more than was required, and would quit whenever she began to work up a sweat. Based on how she kept glancing at Sasuke, Kakashi suspected she was worried about the boy seeing her in an unladylike condition. Kakashi had considered bringing in the rather independent Kurenai to supervise a session and break the girl out of that little habit, even before he thought of this proposition he had.

And Naruto... Naruto was a good kid, and a hard worker, but between chakra control problems caused by the fox sealed in his gut and his own impatient, somewhat brash personality, he was a trial to train. Kakashi knew about the Shadow Clone technique, and was familiar with how it could be used to speed training, but unless he had a good excuse to bring it up, he was worried that Sasuke would get angry about the special instructions, or worse, kill himself trying to use the same technique.

But Kakashi had figured out a way to bypass all of these problems... with a little mutual help.

"How would you like to solve all of your problems, and get a reputation for thinking outside the box at the same time?"

Kurenai looked at him for a moment, then smiled slightly and picked up the sake bottle to pour him a drink in return. "Let's hear this."

* * *

Team 7 and Team 8 met at Training Ground Three within minutes of finishing their D-ranks, and started discussing the day and their missions in a friendly manner. "I'm telling you," said Kiba, gesticulating wildly as he told the story, "that friggen cat must be a ninja under an animal henge or something. It ran up the wall when I cornered it!" On his head, his dog Akakmaru yapped in agreement. The boy wore a thick grey coat in spite of the warm afternoon sun, and his tousled and uncombed hair gave the impression of someone who never bothered to look in a mirror unless required to.

Hinata tapped her fingers together nervously before interrupting, quietly pointing out that the wall in question was only a few feet high, before ducking her head slightly as if she was trying to hide under her short-cut blue hair. When Kiba turned to disagree, Shino piped up and went into a convoluted discourse on the natural agility of cats, and in spite of the tall collar of his jacket, the sunglasses that concealed his eyes, and the dull monotone he always spoke with, he still gave an impression of slight mockery to all those who were listening, including Kiba, who started to shout.

Naruto could not help himself. He laughed himself hoarse. He had come to realize that in spite of his generally being an outcast at school, he had missed having people around, and even if everyone but Hinata scoffed when he shouted about becoming the Hokage, they were still friends. Maybe not deep friends, but friends.

Sakura, however, was less than amused, because neither of their teachers had returned from their errands, and she found that Sasuke seemed even more distant when there were more people around. He had been staring into the surrounding woods for the last five minutes, and while she had suspected at first that he was looking for Kakashi, she was beginning to wonder if he was doing it just to avoid taking part in the conversation. She opened her mouth to ask him for training advice away from the others, in the hopes he might relax a little with fewer people, when a cloud of smoke exploded into being next to the group to reveal both of their wayward sensei. Kurenai had a clipboard and a thick pile of paperwork, while Kakashi carried nothing but his habitual book.

"Sorry, sorry," he said with a wave, "I passed a man with no feet who was trying to sell his old shoes, and..."

"Lies," shouted Sakura, Naruto, and Kiba, all three pointing at him. Kurenai smirked, and Hinata managed a tiny laugh. Sasuke and Shino both shared a glance and ignored the whole thing.

"Right," said Kurenai, stepping forward. "Sorry, but we had to double check a few things with the Hokage before we officially tried this." She indicated everyone to gather around, and when Sasuke made no move to join them, glared at him until he complied. "As you may know," she began, "each genin is placed in a three-person squad, and they generally train and do missions together exclusively. This is to encourage teamwork, and help ensure each member is familiar with the other. For the most part, genin remain in their squads in the future, barring problems or emergencies."

She pointed at Kakashi with her clipboard, and he waved lazily without taking his eyes off of his book. "Kakashi and I have noticed a few ways in which having Teams 7 and 8 train together might help both become stronger, much faster than would otherwise be likely. We have gotten permission to test this idea from the Hokage.

"Each day, we will continue to train with our normal teams in the morning, then perform our D-ranks after lunch. Once finished, however, in the time that would usually be spent doing individual training, we will instead train together. You will each receive a sparring partner who will be well suited to your needs as a growing shinobi."

Kakashi snapped his book shut and stood from his slouched position to say his bit. "All of you, first and foremost, need taijutsu training, so it is here that we shall start. Shino, Sasuke, you are both proficient already, so you'll be paired up. Work together to practice what you know and try to work on your speed." The two boys looked at each other and nodded, and at least to a small degree, they were relieved to have such a serious and strong opponent.

"Sakura, Kiba." Both stood a little straighter. "Both of you hold each other's weaknesses as strengths. Kiba, you tend to attack head on, full strength, with little in the way of technique." Kiba's lip rose slightly in a snarl, but he did not disagree, and after Akamaru yapped his agreement, Kiba snorted to one side and nodded. "Sakura, you have the basis for great technique, but you never push yourself physically, and against someone strong like Kiba, you'll need every ounce of strength you have. I suspect Kiba will thrash you soundly at first, so don't get discouraged. Take advantage of it, and become stronger." Sakura nodded and while her face looked worried, her eyes sparked with a touch of inner fire. "Given enough time and strength, your superior technique will turn the tables on him." Kiba's eyes nearly glowed with quiet fury, and Kakashi smiled under his mask. _That should get them sorted in good time._

Hinata tapped her fingers and kept glancing over at Naruto, her face starting to warm up. _This means..._

Even her thoughts froze suddenly when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah," shouted Naruto, throwing his other fist in the air. "That means it's you and me, Hinata-chan! Let's get physical!"

Hinata's face glowed red for a brief moment, before she let out a little sigh and slumped forward. "Ehh," said Naruto, confused. "Hi-na-ta? You ok?"

Everyone facepalmed. Even Shino. Even Sasuke. Even the ANBU in the trees watching over this experiment. And especially Kakashi.

"What?" Naruto asked, sheepishly.

* * *

Hinata woke to find herself laying on the ground with a orange jacket for a pillow and Kakashi watching over her. She stiffened and sat up. "Ka... Kakashi-sensei, S-sorry, I didn't..."

Kakashi interrupted with a wave of his hand. "It's okay, Hinata. This is why you and Naruto are paired up." He nodded at the training ground. In the distance, Sasuke and Shino seemed to be trading blows in an elaborate game of strikes, blocks, and counter-strikes, with almost no footwork involved. Kiba was charging at Sakura, and Hinata was shocked when the pink-haired girl managed to grab Kiba's wrist in passing and send him tumbling. Kurenai was watching them all fight, occasionally shouting out advice to Sakura or Kiba when she saw a glaring problem.

And Naruto was fighting... himself. He had a half dozen clones out, and they had apparently split into two teams for what looked like a spirited game of Dodge Shuriken. Team Naruto seemed to be winning, but then, Team Naruto was also losing, and none of them seemed to really know who was on which team, so it ultimately came down to a free-for-all, and the Narutos were chattering loudly and cheerfully as they fought.

"Naruto has one great advantage over the others, in that he has the Shadow Clone jutsu and the chakra reserves to make it almost effortless. The clones are solid enough to fight, but fall in a single blow. We chose him as your opponent for two reasons. First, you can go all out against a clone, and not hurt him in the least. Your Gentle Fist is intended to be painful and debilitating, making it dangerous to practice at full force. But here is a foe you can use it against without fear. Meanwhile, Naruto is unpredictable and quick to think, but he is not particularly fast or skilled, and using his clones, I hope to fix both of those problems by pitting him against someone that has both those traits."

"Understood," she said, quietly, doubtfully. Kakashi could see exactly what Kurenai had been talking about as his compliment was immediately smothered by doubt. _No matter,_ he thought, _we'll see what we can do about that._ Kakashi was not above manipulating someone for their own good, and Hinata had a big and obvious button he could push to help her resist that self doubt.

Kakashi leaned down and looked her in the face. "The other reason," he said, very quietly, "is Naruto is an inspiring person. He never quits, never backs down, and fights with all of his strength. You could do much worse, learning that sort of thing from him, and he could certainly use a dash of quiet contemplation, believe me."

She nodded, too nervous, and excited, and nervous, and worried, and nervous, for words, as Naruto's sensei exactly described all the traits she valued in Naruto.

"Also, you two would be cute together, if you can get the fainting under control."

* * *

Naruto looked over at Kakashi when the last of his clones popped. "She awake yet, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Give her a few more minutes, Naruto," he shouted back cheerfully from where she had once again passed out.

"Awwww, man," said Naruto, summoning another set of clones.

* * *

Eventually, Kakashi led the still red-tinted Hinata over to Naruto. He tossed the kid's jacket back to him, then said, "Naruto, make a few clones, please."

Naruto pulled on his jacket and summoned a half dozen shadow clones.

Kakashi wandered over to stand next to Naruto. "Ok, before we really begin, put this on." He handed Naruto a strip of cloth and pointed at his own eye. "Blindfold yourself." Naruto grumbled and complied.

"Remember," said Kakashi, "This won't hurt at all, so give it your best, Hinata."

"Yeah, Hinata, kick my ass," Naruto cheered, causing her to blush and Kakashi to shake his head and chuckle. Kakashi used hand signs to indicate one of the clones to attack quietly. There was a swish of cloth as the clone charged. _I can do this, he wants me to hit his clone, he won't be hurt._Hinata chanted those words in her head as the clone approached. Just as it came within reach, she stepped lightly to the side, almost casually sidestepping its wild punch, and tagged it hard with a juken strike to the chest.

It vanished with a poof. Naruto cheered for her, and her heart beat hard as she silently cheered for herself as well. _I __can_ _do this,_ she thought, and the sheer energy and relief she felt at such a thought was almost overwhelming.

Kakashi nodded to her, then turned to Naruto. "How did she win, Naruto?"

"She punched me in the chest," said the blindfolded blond.

Kakashi waited for the penny to drop, and was not disappointed when it did. "Wait," shouted Naruto, ripping off the cloth around his eyes and staring at the two of them, "how did I see that?"

"What do you think?" asked Kakashi.

Naruto paused to consider, then raised his index finger. "Of course!" Kakashi nodded, waiting for him.

"I have the Byakugan!"

Kakashi and Hinata shared a look. The look was quiet and small and polite and clearly communicated the shared belief that, wonderful as a person Naruto was, he was also, at times, an complete and total idiot.

"I... I don't think that's what happened, Naruto-kun."

"Naruto, what happened was you saw the greatest strength of the Shadow Clone jutsu. Whatever your clone sees or does, you will see as well. Shadow clones make excellent spies, can help you study, and can even help you train in almost anything but physical conditioning, even new jutsu." At that point, Naruto was almost drooling at the prospect of mastering jutsu with hundreds of clones. _There's the bait,_ thought Kakashi. _And now the hook. _"Good thing you have it, because you'll need it to make up for how terrible your skills are."

Naruto's jaw dropped, and Kakashi continued talking in the hopes of forestalling the coming storm of complaints. "When your clone attacked Hinata, she didn't even have to try and stop you. In one move, she delivered what would have been a lethal hit. She trounced you with casual ease, and while it speaks well of her training, it speaks poorly of yours."

"I can't help that Hinata-chan's awesome," Naruto muttered to the side, indirectly earning the gratitude of both her and his teacher.

"In any case, to get you used to using this tool, your goal is to watch Hinata and your clones fight. Each time a clone goes down, you will immediately signal the next to attack. You, meanwhile, will sort their memories and your own outside observation and try to find a weak point in her technique to land a hit."

He started to walk away, then stopped and turned back to them. "Once you manage to land three hits in a row on Hinata, I'll teach you something new to practice. Don't make it too easy on him, Hinata, you could use the conditioning according to Kurenai, and I know Naruto respects hard work more than anything in the world." He turned away and walked towards the fight between Shino and Sasuke, waving over his back. _Three for three,_ he thought, and with a small giggle, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. _Given another ten years, maybe Jiraiya could use this for his next book..._

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Note: **Next chapter, we deal with the aftermath of this new training and how the others change accordingly. All of them will gain something out of it, and will get their own focus-time, but this was set up for the training, and Naruto and Hinata's efforts needed some exposition ahead of time.

As you can see, I am trying to invoke the slightly jokey, occasionally pratfall-prone sense of fun and adventure that the earlier series had. Sometimes it's hard to remember, but at one point, the show/manga was not nearly so dark as it got at times near the end.

**a Wiccan** pointed out that ryo has a real world value in yen. While this is true in the real world, the sum matches up poorly to prices in-universe from my view. Rather than try to deconstruct an economic system, I set a rough value of 10 ryo for a bit of pocket candy such as a child might beg their parent for, in an entirely arbitrary manner. In the end, it's just easier to deal with.

**Okiro Benihime** mentioned power levels. In short, power levels for the very end of the series (roughly everyone on a higher level than Pein) will probably get tamped down slightly, for reasons that I may expound upon later. Frankly, ridiculous, super-powerful ubermoves make for rather dull fights in writing, for the most part. You can only summon a literal moon to smash people with so many times before it becomes ludicrous. I prefer the thoughtful move/countermove pace of early fights over the "HOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHPOWAAAAAAA" of much of the ending arcs. All this, of course, is subject to opinion, and that is mine.


	5. We're Gonna Need a Montage

Kakashi sat in the same bar where barely a week ago he and Kurenai had met previously, and his newfound ally sat across from him once again. They were both leaning back, sake cups in hand and wordlessly staring at the wooden table, both fighting to keep a smile from their face. Such a small celebration, suitable for a successful C-rank mission or learning a new jutsu, and certainly not sufficient for the unmitigated success of their cross-training efforts.

Kakashi wanted to leap into the streets, crowing like a freshly minted chunin. He wanted to run up to Maito Guy, show him the notes they had made on their student's progress, then pants him in front of his "Youthful Team" and run giggling into the night. He wanted to smack Shimura Danzo in the face with another copy of those same notes and vanish before the exploding tag inside went off.

None of this would happen, naturally. Danzo would never learn, not until someone hit him with something a little harder than paperwork, and Kakashi thought he knew which little genin on his team might end up doing just that some day. Guy might take it as a challenge and try to get him back, which was a thing of nightmares. No, Kakashi and Kurenai had quietly compared notes, had a short discussion, and promptly returned to their usual bar to get a small drink in quiet celebration of the possibly that their students were going to crush all who faced them, and nobody would ever see it coming.

And if anyone knew the value of being underestimated, it was Kakashi. He was beginning to suspect that his students would have the benefit of the same once they were up for their exams. He pulled the papers back to his side of the table and flicked through them again, barely able to believe what he already knew. Their normal morning training was progressing about as he had expected, and all of their students had completed the task of climbing trees with chakra. But the group training...

* * *

Hinata was still timid, but she had finally started really fighting back on the third day, after she "accidentally" hit her sparring partner in the face with a palm strike while trying to deflect his attack. Kakashi slotted the mental quotation marks into that thought, as he was fairly certain Naruto had deliberately taken the blow to his face after specifically asking for permission to fight her, to test what he had picked up observing his clones. He had even had the audacity to wink at Kakashi just before he was hit.

He had fallen back, blood streaming from his face. As Hinata stuttered a broken apology, mortified, unable to look him in the eyes, he had laughed. She had stood there and stared in shock as he laughed, wiped the blood from his nose, then offered her a fist bump while congratulating her on her strike. She hesitantly returned the gesture, a tad awkward with the informal acknowledgment.

It had taken, by Kakashi's count, seven "accidental" injuries before she accepted his encouragement and started to actually fight with some degree of force. By the end of that day, she was physically exhausted, but was still smiling when they split for the night.

On the fourth day, it had only take one reminder from Naruto about her progress the other day for her to get back into the fight. On the fifth day, it didn't even take that. And on the sixth day, Kakashi had been deeply amused to see the shy, timid, frightened little kunoichi end the first spar with a sudden and immediate blow, without hesitation or warning. And he was even more amused when Naruto had cheered her on from where he had landed in the dirt.

Naruto, meanwhile, had learned a lot by observing his clones getting crushed, both with their memories and his own outside point of view. He still had no real taijutsu skill, but in the end, that only made him more terrifying in his fights. At one point, he had watched Hinata dispel three clones with a single sweep of her hand. When the next set of clones was sent in, they approached in the same way, and when she tried the same arm sweep, he had neatly trapped her arm before it could really get moving and had tapped her in the ribs before she could break free.

On the sixth day, after the first match, they had been permitted to fight with ninjutsu in light of Hinata's improvement. Naruto had demonstrated just how well he had been paying attention to the actual lesson Kakashi was trying to teach him by refusing to use any jutsu at all. He simply waded in, evading Hinata's strikes and following his own reflexes, born of nearly a month's worth of sparring practice crammed into a week from the use of his clones, until she was so tired he casually ducked her last strike and tapped her on the forehead. "I got you, Hinata," he said with a roguish grin, giving her a pat on the shoulder and a thumbs up.

Kakashi called it a win after she passed out with a sigh... a very happy sigh.

* * *

Sasuke and Shino had started off well enough. They fought with almost mechanical grace, two genius shinobi testing their own skills. Not a word was said as they fought, no compliments paid or taunts thrown, just a single silent nod each time a round ended definitively.

On the first break of the first day, Shino had silently sat down on the branch of the tree next to where Sasuke perched. They said nothing during the entire break, did not even look at each other.

By the third day, Kakashi had noted that Sasuke was seeking out Shino during breaks. They had yet to say a word directly to one another at that time, save for as required by their teachers or as needed in their spars. Finally, on the sixth day, Sasuke had sat down next to his quiet companion and challenged him to a spar with ninjutsu allowed. Shino agreed, asking only that excessive damage to his kikaichu colony be avoided.

What happened a long and skillful battle that lasted nearly an half hour, and Kakashi was proud of them both. Shino showed a great deal of skill in deception and evasion, and Sasuke, for all of his slightly antisocial tendencies during morning training, had been careful not to slaughter the bugs. Even when it made tactical sense. Even when it cost him the match when a bug clone finally knocked him down. He simply accepted the loss with a quiet nod and returned to the ready position.

* * *

But the real surprise had been Sakura. Kakashi felt almost ashamed how badly he had underestimated her, and he was willing to bet Kiba certainly did.

On the first day, they faced off one on one while Akamaru watched. Kiba was in much better shape and was much stronger than his sparring partner, and Sakura would have been hard-pressed under any circumstances. Sakura kept glancing at Sasuke the entire time, however, and once Kiba noticed it, he punished her for it. Every time she looked away, Kiba was there to bring her attention back to him with a fist or foot. This went on for half the day, until Sakura finally seemed to accept that Sasuke was paying her no mind in the least while she fought. He body was covered in bruises, she was having trouble keeping her arms up, and something in her just snapped when Kiba clubbed her down again. She stood and took her ready stance, then glanced at where Sasuke was fighting.

Kiba was already moving in, and was already fully committed to the easy hit when she screamed out a battle cry and stepped into it. His fist glanced off her arm, but his face caught her fist perfectly in return, and he tumbled nearly three feet back with the force of the blow. He knelt in the dust, hand covering his jaw, and looked up as Sakura, Angel of Death, sailed through the air at him, that silly pink dress suddenly not so silly as the woman inside of it brought down the fist of the gods themselves with the force of every muscle she could use...

Kakashi had caught her arm carefully before she did something permanent to her opponent, and he was proud of the twitch he felt as she fought down the reflex to take a swing at him. He told her she was done for the day, and to come back tomorrow with the same amount of passion but a little more self-control, all while discreetly pretended he did not see the wet spot that had grown under Kiba as he stared at the curled fist inches from his eyes.

On day two she came early to the morning training, caught Kakashi before the others arrived, and apologized. Not for smashing Kiba's face, but for not doing it sooner. She remained the same polite, slightly annoying girl during team training, but managed to only sneak glances as her crush when they were not busy. During actual training, she was focused.

When the time came for the afternoon training, she started systematically demolishing her opponent. Kiba had the strength, but she had the technique, and now she had the drive. Every wild charge was rebuffed with a throw or a painful counter-strike. Kiba spent almost as much time on the ground as standing. By the end of day two, she had spent the last five minutes of sparring tossing him around the clearing and letting him get up, only to slip in for another throw, deliberately practicing her ability to toss him and, at one point, counting out how many feet she threw him over the course of a minute. Kurenai had grinned when the girl counted to ten, and openly laughed when she reached twenty.

On day three, Akamaru was permitted to join in the fight, and the puppy made almost no difference save for picking up some bruises of his own. By the end of the day, Kiba was fuming, furious at having not landed a single meaningful blow the entire day. He was shouting angrily as a smirking Sakura when Kakashi finally took him aside and whispered in his ear. Kiba turned to stomp away, but when Kakashi called out and said, "That's exactly why you're going to lose tomorrow," he stopped, then turned and stomped over to Sakura.

Kurenai's jaw dropped when he kowtowed formally to the pink-haired girl, his forehead pressed firmly to the ground and arms spread wide as he begged her to teach him. After a moment Akamaru had trotted over and did his best to take the same pose, yapping furiously and wagging his tail. Sakura had laughed at the display and agreed.

She had trained the Inuzuka boy in the academy stances and punches... but those were worthless to him, she admitted, with his clan's taijutsu stance, a hunched and animalistic stance that encouraged full body blows. Instead of focusing on the basic strikes and throws, she focused on how they worked and how those same principles could be applied to his own techniques. The academy strikes were too awkward to use, but knowing the forces she used to toss him around until then, he was able to take advantage and adapt the same principles to his own efforts.

By day five, Kiba had absorbed much of Sakura's knowledge on academy taijutsu with the aid of Kurenai during their morning sessions, and he and Akamaru started to demolish her. Knowing how to use their bodies and apply leverage properly turned the two into powerful foes, and they spent most of the day tossing the pink girl around just as hard as she had days before. It was then that Sakura returned the favor, dropping into the same begging pose, and asked Kiba to teach her how to "go crazy like an Inuzuka."

On day six, Kiba arrived to group training with a scroll and showed it to Sakura. Kakashi managed a glance at it in passing, and saw it was filled with drawings of humans in various poses. They spent the day practicing the most basic of moves for the Inuzuka Four Legged stance. He apologized, explaining that the stance was all he was permitted to share as it was fairly easy to figure out through observation, but the rest of his clan's techniques were forbidden to outsiders. He also quietly assured her that his family was discussing permitting her to train formally with the clan, after being impressed with his quick improvement with her aid, and they wanted to see how she did with the basic form.

The image of Haruno Sakura on all fours, snarling at Kiba and Akamaru as they sailed away from her after a particularly good throw, was probably going to stay with Kakashi forever.

* * *

On day seven, they gave their teams a day off to rest and relax. They spent the day comparing notes and discussing their team's progress, eventually culminating in the report that they continued to pass back and forth at the bar between drinks. "I can't believe nobody ever thought to do this," Kakashi mumbled quietly as he set the papers down. He took up his cup and turned away to sip at it, concealing his face with his hand, which always got an amusing huff from Kurenai.

"I can't believe the Inuzuka were willing to teach Sakura anything from their clan," she replied, still staring at her cup.

Kakashi shrugged as he placed his cup down. "They are a lot less formal than many of the clans in Konoha, and Tsume seems to have a thing for strong women. I would not be surprised if she was watching them train at some point, and I am willing to bet money that she noticed Kiba's improvement after the first few days. Now if only we could get the Hyuga to be so open and helpful..."

Kurenai managed a snort at that little joke.

"So," he asked, resting his chin in his hands, "glad you accepted?"

She nodded and took a sip. "Shino found a good sparring partner who is respectful of his bugs and who has no objection to his quiet nature. Kiba has an appreciation for technique... and the potential strength in the other gender." She smiled sharply at that comment, as Kiba and the Inuzuka were hardly chauvinistic by nature, but his brash mannerisms often came across that way. That smile faded a little, but it did not vanish completely as Kurenai continued, "And Hinata is still very timid, but she's willing to hit at least one person now, and I think I can get Kiba and Shino to help me get her to open up more." She sighed and drained her cup, then sat back. "I think we can report this as an outstanding success to the Hokage."

Kakashi raised his cup to that.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Note: **Like many, I have an issue with Sakura in canon. It's not that she is essentially Team 7's doormat. It's that she never changes, no matter how many little revelations she has. When I first watched the show, and she cut her hair, I was all hopeful for a strong female character. And we all know how that worked out.

Well, this time, she got her epiphany at a time and place where she could afford to let it sink in, and got a little support for it too. Frankly, she always had Inner Sakura to provide some power, and she in theory had the academy knowledge of taijutsu, but never the will or forced practice time to make it useful.

And don't worry, this is not 100% fix fic. There will be consequences to what has changed, but many of them hit later, in some cases much later.

Fear not, **Okiro Benihime**, Mandara and his ilk will still be quite powerful. There is a reason he was feared. I just hope to tamp down on the "I summon meteors like a FFVII boss" level, hypothetically world destroying, apocalyptic power. That does not mean he is not capable of feeding the world ninja their teeth through applied force. The changes to him and his will crop up in the story quite early, and they will be a delight, I suspect and hope.


	6. Finally! A Mission to the Wave!

"I don't see it yet," said Sasuke quietly into his radio.

"It'll be here," came the reply from Sakura. They were both stationed to either side of an alley way, carefully concealing themselves. They had been lying in wait for almost an hour so far, and both were growing impatient for the operation to begin. _I can barely imagine how this must be for Naruto,_ thought Sakura as she shifted her limbs very slowly, one at a time, trying to stay limber despite being crouched under the eave of one of the buildings that made this alleyway. Her respect for Konoha's Loud Orange Joke had gone up a little during their training efforts with Team 8, and had only increased as they began to progress. _He might be loud, obnoxious, and incapable of taking a hint, but when he really wants to, he can tough things out._

"Contact," said Sasuke, his voice little more than a whisper over the radio. Sakura shifted her eyes slightly and saw the target slowly making its way along the path. It seemed to move very slowly, confidant in its graceful steps, so certain it knew the area better than anyone. Then her foot crossed the small chalk mark on the pavement...

There was a sudden loud bang as Sasuke appeared, dropping a flash bomb from the small bandolier across his chest to his feet and sending out a wave of killing intent strong enough for Sakura to feel from the other end of the alley. She worried for a second that he had loaded the bomb with too much powder, as new as he was to the art, but he remained standing and unswayed by the loud blast. The target panicked, and with a scream, started running down the alleyway at her.

Panic was good. Panic meant quick choices, often wrong choices, something Kakashi had worked hard to imprint on his charges. Sakura timed the target's progress carefully, then leaped in front of it and gave out a howl.

The target was terrified at her appearance, and Sakura felt a jolt of pride. The last couple of months had been busy for her, but productive. Inuzuka Tsume had run her ragged teaching her the basis of her clan's trademark taijutsu stance, not just physically, but mentally.

_An animal_, she had said, _does not condition its hair. _She said this at the end of the first week, after Sakura had made the mistake of complaining about her appearance after a rough day of training in the rain. _An animal does not prim, does not scrub, does not dye, does not paint. An animal is primal, its power coming from its natural state._ Tsume had smiled at her, and given her a nudge in the ribs. _So does its beauty. Stop trying so hard and just be yourself._

Sakura had taken this to heart. Her long hair, no longer cleaned fervently, had become a spiked, ragged, vibrant pink mane that spread across her shoulders, barely held back by the hitai-ate she wore as a headband. When the hem of her dress had become shredded after she stepped on it a few too many times in practice, she had ripped it off and sewn the new hem herself to be level with her shorts. The work was slightly ragged and terribly uneven, but it worked, and Sakura was proud of her decision to keep it.

And as she crouched on all fours snarling at the target, she could see Sasuke with a faint smile on his face. It might have been for a plan well executed, but Sakura decided it might as well be for her, and true or not, that would be enough for now.

Panicked, the target screamed again and, true to Kiba's words months ago, started running up the wall to escape. "Now, Naruto!" shouted Sakura, not even bothering with the radio any more. With a small puff of smoke, Naruto dispelled his Henge transformation... all of them.

The entire alleyway became slightly hazy, as the walls to either side transformed back into their original form, revealing hundreds of shadow clones, each one standing on the shoulders of the one below it, lining the entire alley. With an excited shout, the erstwhile walls curved inward, hundreds of hands snatching and grabbing at the cat as it tried to flee, screaming the entire time.

_Serves it right_, thought Kakashi, watching from the rooftop. _Damned thing will only do it again tomorrow_. _I wonder why it's always running away?_

* * *

_Oh, that's why._

Kakashi stared at the poor cat as Lady Shijimi, the daimyo's wife, cuddled the poor creature half to death while proclaiming her love for the suffering beast without a trace of irony. He could feel the disgust radiating off of his team, especially Sakura, who was wincing with every screech and hiss as if she knew what it was saying.

_Come to think of it_, he considered with a small smile, _she just might at this point._

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, was reading from a list of missions, each more dull and uninspiring than the last, when Naruto finally snapped. Kakashi had no idea where the game show buzzing noise was coming from as the boy crossed his arms and shouted, but he heard the quiet snerk of repressed laughter coming from the other members of the team... and more than a few from the kid's audience as well. Even the Hokage seemed amused, chuckling even as Iruka lectured Naruto on his impropriety.

Hiruzen looked at Kakashi and raised an eyebrow slightly, and received a small nod in return. The old man was slightly uncertain about giving Kakashi's team a higher ranked mission, but it was ultimately the jonin's call, and Hiruzen had heard more than a few interesting stories about Team Seven, most of them good.

"We have one possible C-rank mission I may permit you to take," he said slowly, causing all of the genin to perk up slightly. "An escort for a certain person."

At this, Naruto became ecstatic, and Hiruzen smirked as the boy shouted his excitement... until the drunkard walked in. _If nothing else_, the Hokage thought with a smile as he watched the following antics, _at least the job can be amusing at times_.

"If I may, Hokage-sama," said Kakashi, after the bridge builder and his orange-toned genin argued for a while. Hiruzen gave him a nod, and the jonin turned to his charge. "Tazuna-san, my team is strong enough to protect you from bandits, and even if they were not, I am. However, this will also be a training opportunity for them, and I have a few last minute instructions to give them. Would you find it acceptable to leave at dawn tomorrow?"

Tazuna grunted in agreement and took another deep, slovenly chug from the bottle in his hand.

"Thank you," Kakashi said with a smile. He turned to his students. "I will speak to each of you later tonight for some last minute preparations. Meanwhile, return home and pack for a few weeks of time in the field."

"Yes, sir," said his team.

* * *

"Sakura," said Kakashi from her window that night. He was quite proud when her fist passed perilously close to his face as she tried to punch him instead of screaming uselessly, and more so when she curled her fingers inward to try to snatch his mask. He noted that, despite the later hour, she was dressed and ready to go, and he considered the possibility she had been waited for him to approach her this way.

"Sorry, Kakashi-sensei," she said, with a grin that gave an entirely different message.

"Mahh, mahh, no problem," he said sheepishly. "I wanted you to know something, before we go." He crouched on her window sill and stared at her. "I am proud of what you are becoming," he said without preamble. She blushed, in quite a pretty manner, and he had an amusing thought as to how much trouble Mr Haruno was going to be in once his daughter got a little older. "You have taken upon yourself the task of being a true shinobi, and at this rate, you might just become the strongest kunoichi of your generation." Her blush only deepened.

"I have no training for you, except for a very specific warning." She stiffened and took a more formal stance, as befitting a soldier taking orders. "We may be fighting on this mission. We may also be required to kill our foes during it." She nodded once, and swallowed nervously, her blush fading to paleness. "There is no shame in reluctance to kill... but there is shame in letting another die for that reason. If the time comes, be strong, strike quickly, and sort out your emotions after we all come home. OK?"

Sakura's eyes were a little dimmer as he finished his speech, but when he was done, a stillness settled over her features, and as he watched, a little steel crept into her spine and made her eyes glitter in a decidedly unladylike fashion. "Understood, sensei," she said quietly, with a nod. He nodded back, and jumped back out into the night.

_The trouble just got twice as bad for Mr Haruno,_ he thought with an internal giggle as he raced towards his next student. _She might have fewer admirers, but they'll all be shinobi like her._

* * *

He found Naruto at Ichiraku's, naturally. He listened on the roof for a few minutes as Naruto chatted on about anything that came to mind while the owner and his daughter prepared his food, then dropped down and slipped into a stool. Naruto's spit take, once he noticed Kakashi's presence, was enough to make everyone else laugh.

"Hey, Naruto, I got you something." Kakashi reached behind his back, and offered the genin a package. The boy took it and hurriedly opened it, then pulled out the dark green cloak Kakashi had picked up a few weeks ago. It had a slight pattern to it in shades of darker green, but even in the good light at the ramen stand, they were hard to make out.

"I don't get it," said Naruto suspiciously.

"Naruto, sometimes it's good to stand out, especially when you're Konoha's Number One Unpredictable Ninja." Naruto grinned at the title, rightfully earned through years of pranks.

"You are durable and getting quite strong for your age, Naruto. There will be times that you will want to draw attention, and draw attacks, because in the end, you can take a beating that your teammates can't, thanks to your... special training."

Naruto nodded carefully. He had yet to tell anyone else about the beast sealed within him, not even Teuchi and Ayame, and Kakashi seemed to respect his choice.

"There are other times, however," Kakashi continued with a smile, "where an orange jumpsuit is a bad idea. Like on stealth missions. Or assassination missions. Or most missions." Naruto opened his mouth to argue, but Kakashi waved him down. "I don't ask you to stop with the orange, Naruto, but you might want to have the option of hiding yourself."

Naruto sighed, and mumbled, "Yeah, yeah, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi reached out and ruffled the boy's hair, then laughed lightly when the blond glared at him. His glare died, however, when Teuchi stepped up with a bowl and said, loudly, "A wise piece of advice, Naruto! And in gratitude for it, I am sure your sensei will be glad to buy you a bowl!"

While Naruto dug in, Teuchi gave Kakashi a small wink, and received one back. If anything was likely to reinforce a lesson on Naruto, it was a bowl of his favorite ramen, and they both had discussed this a few weeks ago. Kakashi had a standing account now at Ichiraku's, and found the money to be well spent to reinforce some of his lessons.

Kakashi bid them goodnight, and with a last reminder of the early day tomorrow, he left to find his last student.

* * *

Kakashi did not even bother trying to sneak up on Sasuke, simply landing a few feet away and approaching the boy, who was standing on a dock looking out into a lake near his family property. He was pleased to see Sasuke had some new additions to his bandolier and made a mental note to ask the boy about the markings on the various canisters and pouches. Many shinobi used a personal code to obfuscate the chemicals and poisons they used, and Kakashi approved, but sometimes he worried that Sasuke's teammates might need that information when the boy was unavailable.

"What," asked Sasuke as soon as Kakashi approached, blunt but at least not particularly unfriendly.

"Nothing," said Kakashi as he approached. "I only wanted to-"

Whatever he wanted remained unsaid as the kunai sank deep into his forehead. Sasuke turned, guard already rising, and saw... him. That man. That murderer. He stood out on the lake, black robes billowing, another short blade in hand, his eyes glowing red.

Sasuke didn't even think. He just attacked, charging into the lake and screaming in his fury. The man threw his kunai with a casual flick, scoring a line across Sasuke's cheek, but even that did not deter Sasuke in his charge. He lashed out with a flying kick, but his foe caught it, casually taking the blow to his palm without moving an inch, his hands crushingly painful as they grasped Sasuke's ankle. Sasuke palmed an explosive in his right hand, ready to throw it, but again he was countered, his foe grabbing his hand and holding it tight until the fuse burned down and blew Sasuke's hand off. Sasuke screamed, and did not stop screaming until he landed with a thump on the edge of the lake.

"You're still too weak," said his brother, without passion, without hate, as he walked to the shoreline. "You're still far too weak." He pulled out another kunai and pulled back his arm to throw it. "Join your family, then," he said as he flicked it at Sasuke's left eye.

_I can't die like this!_

The kunai sailed at him, as time slowed to a near stop, the world distorting slightly as Sasuke focused hard on his oncoming death. He began to turn away, certain he could not evade the blow... but the kunai slowed even further, and he found himself moving faster, much faster than he thought possible.

The blade hit the ground next to his face. Sasuke turned to look at it, but the blade looked wrong. The edges were rough, slightly nicked and pitted, something his brother would never allow to happen to his tools. When he turned to his brother, the man's face felt wrong. The curves of his eyes, the shape of his cheekbones, even the curve of his jaw was just slightly off, giving the impression of another person wearing an elaborate Itachi mask.

And out in the lake, two figures, visible only by the faintest of outlines against the shimmering water, were standing patiently.

Sasuke stood and brushed some dirt off his cloths with his completely undamaged hands, then walked out onto the water. He passed through the false brother like the illusion it was and stopped before the figures.

"Kakashi," he growled.

The figures shimmered, revealing Kakashi and Kurenai. She looked slightly perturbed, but Kakashi, his sensei, looked extremely pleased with himself. Kakashi nodded to Kurenai, who gave Sasuke an apologetic glance before leaving the area. Sasuke watched her until she was out of sight, then rounded on his teacher, crossed his arms, and waited for an explanation.

"I have taught you every strength I could," said Kakashi quietly. "Do you remember me teaching you the strength of the toolmaker?"

Sasuke nodded. They had sparred one evening, and Kakashi had casually dropped a flash-bang in front of him, blinding him for half the night. He had been angry, until Kakashi asked if, faced with his brother, such a thing would disable his most powerful technique, however briefly. Sasuke had acknowledged the point, and was trained how to make some of the simpler but exotic tools of the shinobi world.

"Do you remember me teaching you the strength of the strategist?"

Sasuke nodded, and colored just slightly. Kakashi had conned him into playing a game of Go with Nara Shikamaru, and after an embarrassingly short game, had explained that Shikamaru had pulled it off with nothing but his facility for planning ahead. Training to think was difficult, and Sasuke knew he had a lot more training to go, but at times, just knowing he needed to plan ahead helped. In hindsight, he had been little better then the dobe, dashing into fights under nothing more than the assumption that he was strong, and any foe he faced must be weak.

"Do you remember me teaching you the strength of the team?"

Sasuke grunted, and flushed much deeper at _that _memory. After the first week of training, Kakashi had asked him if he could take on his team, two to one, and he had said yes without a thought. When the match began, he had sprung at Sakura with a flying kick, intending to put her down immediately to focus on Naruto.

She had grabbed his ankle, and rather than trying to hurt him directly, had simply rotated him slightly as he passed by. He was still trying to figure out why she did so little when Naruto's fist had hit him in the back of the head.

He had awakened at the hospital. Sakura was apologetic, but instead of being a weak, gushing mess, she had simply apologized politely, if repeatedly. After the dobe also apologized for hitting him "a little too hard," they had shared a high five and mocked him mercilessly for underestimating them. Kakashi had stayed on after they left, and pointed out that their strength was also his strength, if he stopped worrying about how he got his revenge and simply put all of his effort into making sure it happened at all. _Why listen to your brother's advice on how to kill him,_ said Kakashi, his voice laden with scorn, _when he was nothing but a traitor?_

It had taken several days, and a lot of effort, but Sasuke did his best to get along with his team. He had offered to take them to lunch one afternoon, a little wary of their reaction, and they had both frozen in place in shock. Eventually he convinced the two of them to just go along with it, and they spent a relatively pleasant afternoon together.

And once the initial shock wore off and the two of them calmed down, he found himself admitting they were at least more tolerable now. Naruto had been less stupidly aggressive when Sasuke stopped mocking him at every turn, and Sakura was less annoyingly clingy once he stopped ignoring her.

It had taken him nearly a week before he managed to stop them from stomping all over him during their spars, and that victory only lasted a day before the two of them had come up with something new and crushed him again. Their fights had become a cycle of innovation versus talent, and with each cycle, they became harder and harder to beat.

Kakashi nodded once, to acknowledge Sasuke's embarrassment, and raises his hitai-ate, revealing his sharingan. "I had Kurenai come and perform this genjutsu on you for a reason. Tomorrow, for the first time, we may face real and dangerous foes, and while I expect little more than bandits and other riffraff, that does not mean the danger will not be real.

"The sharingan does not manifest until the first time the owner believes themselves in great danger. This is generally when the owner is fighting for their lives, which is a terrible place to suddenly gain a perception-warping doujutsu. Despite her reservations, Kurenai agreed with my reasoning and was willing to help. You may want to consider thanking her later."

Sasuke grunted, but nodded in agreement.

"Well, congratulations," said Kakashi with a smile. "I know your clan would often celebrate when a member gained the clan's famed power. I also know you have no desire for me to throw you a party over it. But if nothing else, you now have a vital tool against your brother, and that at least I am sure you can appreciate." He gave the genin a gentle pat on the shoulder and started to walk away.

"Kakashi," he heard Sasuke say quietly. He stopped walking and waited.

"Thanks."

Kakashi nodded once, and with a short wave, vanished, leaving Sasuke alone to think.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes:** Ahhh, there, finally we can get on with the plot.

I am watching the anime as I write all this, and one thing I noticed is the little psycho is a lot less psycho as a kid than I remember. He's actually almost normal, something I feel is often forgotten in fanfiction.

I also feel slightly bad about glossing over much of the theoretically available dialogue in this, but how close do you really need me to examine what the Hokage says this time during the "give us a real mission" bit, over what was said in canon? It's almost identical, so why go word for word, other than to pad the story (great for published work, maybe, but for this? I'll spare you).


	7. The Demon Brothers Attack!

Kakashi noticed the puddle immediately.

It was hard not to. The thing was laying directly in their path, so close they would almost step on it in passing. From the sudden, if muffled, intake of breath, he guessed that Sakura had noticed it as well. _Nice to know she's not so engrossed with the conversation that she lost her senses._ Kakashi gave a slight cough, just a quick clearing of the throat, and was proud that none of the others showed any reaction other than a slight hitch in their breath.

Still, he had to admit it took a big brass pair to be so blatant about such a trap. Any fresh genin squad and even a few higher ranked shinobi Kakashi could think of might not have noticed, while someone with more experience might notice and write off the hidden ninja as incompetent. It was an excellent tactic, designed to either ambush the weak, or make the strong underestimate their foes until it was too late.

If anyone appreciated the dangers of underestimating others, it was Kakashi.

When two shinobi clad in rebreathers and wearing a pair of matched iron gauntlets flowed up out of the false puddle, Kakashi didn't even bother to turn towards them. He gave a second cough, quietly, and got an answering grunt from Sasuke, a grumble from Naruto, and a stirring rendition of a popular song in whistle form from Sakura.

_Right,_ he thought as he heard the metallic clink that signified the attack, _let's see how they do._

A simple, classic kawarimi was enough to escape the trap, with their foes none the wiser as they mercilessly destroyed the log he swapped himself for. _Oh, good, chumps,_ he thought as he watched them from the forest. Kakashi could not even remember the last time the body replacement technique went unnoticed by his opponents, which bode poorly for them.

* * *

"One down," the two ninja proclaimed as they destroyed the jonin, his shredded body tumbling to the ground behind them. They smirked to themselves under their rebreathers and leaped at the shortest one, chains cutting the air. He was only just beginning to turn towards them as they reached out to rend his body.

"Two," they said in unison.

"Sure," the little orange-covered kid said quietly, a small smile on his face.

There was a flash of pink and a frightful shout from one side of the Demon Brothers as Sakura took to the fight. She launched herself at Gozu, arms crossed. He raised his unchained arm in defense, detaching the chain between himself and his kin as he did so, only to have her collide with him, not merely with her fist, but with her entire body weight. He stumbled back a couple steps, his momentum only checked by his brother, who reached out with his unbladed hand to catch his sibling.

A second flash, this one blue, passed in front of the two ninja. The second child was just slow enough that the men could see the smirk on his face as he passed. Their eyes followed his form long enough to see him dashing further away from them. They sagged slightly, their guard dropping just a little in reaction to the missed attack, and their eyes tracked back towards the pink girl, who had spun away in that time, covering her ears with her hands, obviously terrified. A smirk slowly started to form on their faces under their masks at the cowering girl, and the smile remained until their eyes stopped moving, focused dead ahead, on the small cylinder that was still rising slightly from where Sasuke had tossed it in passing.

The flash of light as the small explosive lit off was terrible in itself, no meager single flash but a series of flashes that crossed the colors of the rainbow twice over at an intensity strong enough to be blinding through their eyelids. As bad as the lights were, however, the sound was that much worse. It was a gruesome noise, loud bangs intermixed with piercing whistles and thudding bass rumbles that pushed at their chests. The Demon Brothers flinched away, eyes fluttering as they tried to blink away the afterimages, unable to hear the slight scuff as the orange boy finally completed his turn, now that the flashbang had done its job.

Meizu didn't hear or see a thing as Naruto firmly kicked as hard as he could between the man's legs, but he certainly felt it. Kakashi had started a grueling physical regimen after the first week of sparring with Team 8, and he pushed nobody harder than Naruto, knowing full well that his excessive healing ability permitted him to be pushed to the limit, time and time again. But where he had been working on Sakura's somewhat shoddy reflexes and Sasuke's speed, Naruto was getting nothing but strength training. Between this and Naruto's much improved food intake, the young man was already beginning to become a physical powerhouse. Meizu rose a full three inches from the ground, which would seem unimpressive were the blow not coming from someone half his own height. He landed on his knees, then dropped to the ground, twitching.

While writing his report on the mission later, Kakashi would swear he'd heard the musical ding of a boxing bell at that very moment, but he never found out where the sound came from, so it never made it into his official report.

Gozu felt the thump of his brother hitting the ground and blindly jumped away. He sailed off towards the trees, intent on simply fleeing faster than these genin could possibly follow. Unfortunately for him, he landed less than a foot from Kakashi's hiding space, and in an almost friendly fashion, the white-haired jonin nailed him with a lariat and latched on, holding the unconscious man up by his neck.

"Good work, team," he said, walking out of the treeline to dump the two captives into a pile. "You fought well, especially against a pair of chunin like these two." He looked at Naruto, and frowned. "I expected you to react a little faster, though, Naruto."

Naruto smirked and blew a raspberry at the pair of nukenin on the ground. "Sakura is faster than I am, and so is Sasuke. I knew they'd be there soon enough." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly and glanced at Sasuke. "I've seen enough of Sasuke-teme's surprises to know by the time I turned around, I'd just have to turn around again." He perked up a little and pumped his fist in the air. "But we got them, didn't we! Dattebayo!"

Sasuke grunted at the cheering orange menace, but he managed a small smile. "So," he said quietly, shrugging his shoulders, "I blinded them with science, Sakura attacked them with all her might, and you... you played ro-sham-bo with them?" He looked away, feigning distaste. "Classy," he mumbled.

This set Naruto off, and he began shouting at his rival and friend over the insult. Kakashi tied up the two fallen shinobi and stepped away for a moment to discreetly summon one of his dogs to run a message to Konoha. Tazuna tried to bring his heartbeat under control with more than a fair bit of his remaining sake.

And Sakura stood in the midst of it all, unmoved, trying not to stare at Sasuke as the blush continued to glow on her cheeks, giving away the fact that her one true love had just given her the biggest compliment she thought she could ever hear from him.

* * *

It took a little while, but as soon as Kakashi pointed out that dishonesty voided their contract and he could, in theory, simply leave Tazuna alone with the slowly recovering shinobi he had tied to a tree nearby, the man spilled it. He explained all he knew, about Gato and his crushing grip on the economy of the Land of Waves, the threats to his family and his workers, and his desperation to finish this one work and free his land.

"I suspect this is a bit beyond you," Kakashi said, addressing his team. "In general, genin are not exposed to battles with other shinobi without significantly more experience. And we are certainly not getting paid enough for this." He turned to the shivering bridge builder who was standing beside him. "However... I do not like the idea of simply leaving you to die, even if you were grossly inaccurate in the details of the mission. But it is not just my life that might be at stake." He turned to his team, and raised his one visible eyebrow.

Sasuke was first to state his opinion on the matter. "We may as well keep going. You're here to help us, we're well rested, and as prepared as we're going to be. We'll have to face other shinobi eventually, we may as well do so now, while circumstances are with us."

Kakashi nodded, and turned to Sakura, who gave him an easy shrug and ruffled her hair with her hands, helping it air out. "This is dangerous, Kakashi-sensei, but I think we can handle it. We managed to take these two out, and they were well above our level too. With any luck, our other foes might just underestimate us as well."

Kakashi nodded, then flashed forward, a kunai appearing in his hands. In mere moments, he was in front of the pink-haired girl, blade posed to kill... and he almost jumped as one of Sasuke's little surprises passed inches from his exposed eye, cap still firmly in place and fuse unlit. Sakura had not flinched in the least and was staring at him with an almost feral glee, as if this was planned, and Kakashi seriously wondered if his cute little genin squad really _had_ planned it at some point.

_I guess all those teamwork exercises did help,_ Kakashi thought cheerfully as he stepped back and nodded. _And at least Sasuke cared enough to intervene._

"We might die, all of us, for taking this path. No amount of power can save you from a foe who gets in a lucky shot. But if you all accept this course, knowing that you'll have none to blame but yourself, then I'll agree to it." He tucked the kunai away and nodded to Tazuna.

"Wait," shouted Naruto, stomping his feet in the dirt, "What about me? Aren't you gonna ask me my opinion!"

Kakashi turned back to Naruto. "Are you saying you don't want to keep going?"

Naruto shook his head with a frown.

"So, you want to keep going?"

Naruto crossed his arms, made as stern and serious of a face he could, and nodded.

"Then why are you standing here complaining?"

Sasuke grunted and reached out to give his team mate a light slap in the back of the head, and to the sound of Naruto's sputtering fury, he started walking down the road. Naruto rushed to catch up, but drew to a stop when Kakashi reached out and snagged his collar. "Sakura," said Kakashi, nodding down the road, "go with Sasuke and Tazuna. Naruto and I need to have a discussion."

She gave a small nod, and jogged to catch up. Tazuna followed after a quick glance at the remaining two ninja.

"Naruto," said Kakashi quietly when the others were several meters away, "let's talk about your contribution to the team."

Naruto swallowed heavily.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes:** So, in my original concept for this chapter, Naruto was far more involved, but I noticed something in my efforts to put it down, and it was this: At this point, Naruto is still almost 100% his canon self. Training a person to fight is much easier than training them to think, and not expecting meaningful danger to him or his team, Kakashi had no reason to directly order any kind of special tactics with Naruto's shadow clones. Rest assured, he will be coming to his own soon, but for now, it made little sense for him to be running down the path of Uber!Naruto with a giggle and a Kage Bunshin, so instead, I did what seemed most natural to me, if he was not frozen in shock like in canon.

Namely, nut shot. Canon Naruto strikes me as a bit of a bar room brawler, low on technique and high on effectiveness. With that sort of open target, how could he resist having a ninja become known to have been taken down with a kick to the nuts by the future Hokage?


	8. Assassin in the Mists!

When they stepped onto the dock, Team 7 let out a collective sigh, each for their own reasons.

Sasuke sighed in relief. The crossing had been done slowly, with the speed of but a single oar to remain silent. For all of his posturing, Kakashi had been fairly tense, as had Tazuna and the boat owner, and Sasuke thought he had a good grasp of why. Out in the water, only Kakashi would be able to fight in any meaningful manner, and an ambush would be easy to arrange in such a thick mist.

Sakura sighed in mild distaste as she looked around the small town they had landed in. It looked like an acceptable place to live, and she was proud of herself in that she found no objection to the dirt that seemed to be ground into the surface of every object she could see. Dirt was a sign of work, and no real industrial or farming village could look as clean as Konoha on even their best day. But the cracks in the walls, the ancient peeling paint, the rough wood used for patch work, all of these spoke of long neglect. Even the power lines and poles looked to be held together with rough patchwork and shoddy repairs, and in an area of wooden housing, that could make this place a death trap.

Naruto sighed in discomfort. The trip had been long, and Kakashi had given him a direct and serious order to remain silent and largely immobile the entire trip. He had handed Naruto a small pile of leaves and had instructed him to practice the Leaf Concentration technique, holding a leaf to his forehead with nothing but his chakra. Unlike the academy, however, this time he had to do it with a literal twist, rotating the leave slowly and consistently in a circle, like a clock. The first dozen leaves had spiraled into the water before Naruto managed to get them to remain on his forehead, and he had spent the remainder of the trip silently trying to even out the speed, staring over the front of the boat as they traveled. Unused to such inactivity, his back was now stiff, and he stretched several times trying to work out all the kinks.

Kakashi nodded to the boat captain when the man decided to take them no further, then looked at Tazuna. "Well, now," he said, his voice high and cheerful, "Maybe we should find a place to have a nice meal before we set off, ehh, Tazuna?" Tazuna blushed and turned away at the foreign shinobi's faux pas. Asking for a restaurant in a place as poor as this was a ghastly thing to do, but in turning away at that moment, the bridge builder missed the subtle hand signal Kakashi flashed to his team.

Naruto did not miss the signal. He nodded quietly, and then loudly proclaimed his need to find a restroom as soon as possible, clutching as his gut and hopping around in distress, causing Sasuke and Sakura to lean away from him in disgust. Tazuna sighed and started leading the group in the direction of the nearest restroom he could remember in this town, and never saw the look that Kakashi and Naruto shared.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, quite relieved, the five of them left the public restroom to begin their journey to Tazuna's home.

Twenty minutes later, exactly as relieved, the five of them left the public restroom.

Two hours later, the last group of the five of them left the public restroom.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei! You're the best," shouted Naruto as they walked down the road, arms behind his head and a great smirk on his face. Sakura agreed loudly, and even Sasuke managed a grunt of agreement at that. "Using all those shadow clones as decoys was genius," the blond continued to shout, chuckling loudly. Kakashi turned to him and smiled.

"You see how powerful misdirection is now, Naruto?"

Naruto cheered enthusiastically, causing his team mates and Tazuna to lean away from him.

"And do you know what makes misdirection even more powerful?" asked Kakashi, turning his attention away from forest to address his charges. Naruto leaned forward, eyes glittering at the prospect of more wisdom from his incredible sensei.

Kakashi shot his cute little genin a big smile, and said cheerfully, "Not shouting out your tactics for everyone to hear."

"I agree," came the deep voice from the surrounding trees, even as the great sword came whistling through the air. Sakura managed to throw herself into Tazuna, knocking him out of the way, while everyone else jumped out of line to avoid the spinning sword. Kakashi tracked the sword with his eye until it hit a nearby tree with a resounding crack, sticking far enough into the tree to support the ninja who landed on it.

The man was thickly muscled, a fact evident due to his bare chest and back. He wore only some pants and a set of leg and arm warmers in a blotchy black and white camouflage pattern. He turned from where he stood, back to the Konoha team and they saw that his face was masked with white bandages, showing only his eyes and spiked brown hair, blowing softly in the breeze.

"Your genin are quite astute to have noticed and dodged my attack, Sharingan Kakashi, but they talk far too much for ninja. Not that it mattered, making that many clones, the last set would have to be the real ones, which my intel made sure to watch for. Rest assured, I will let them flee like the little false ninja they are after you're dead... if they turn over the bridge builder to me."

Kakashi drew a pair of kunai and took a ready stance. "It seems you have me at an advantage. Who are you, exactly?"

"Why do you ask?" said the mysterious ninja.

"To know what to etch on your tombstone," said Kakashi with a smile.

The bare-chested shinobi laughed at this, a deep, strong, and surprisingly warm chuckle for such a stern figure. "Very well," he said from his perch, "I will give you the name of your killer. I am Momochi Zabuza, formerly of Kirigakure. Are you sure you want to fight? There is no shame in yielding to a threat such as myself."

Kakashi spared a glance at his genin, and found them shivering but in control and ready to fight. Even Tazuna seemed willing to go against this foe. He grunted once, then looked up at the tree and smiled. "I think not," he said.

Zabuza nodded in acknowledgment, even as the mist began to rise and fill the road and forest, growing impossibly thick. "Then I will show you why I am called the Demon of the Hidden Mist, Kakashi." He made a hand sign, and the mist rose and concealed his form, turning the entire roadway white.

"Flee, you three," said Kakashi, stepping into the mist. "Keep the client alive."

Sasuke and Sakura immediately grabbed Tazuna between them and started to run, but Naruto simply stared at Kakashi's fading form. "Like hell I'll run," he shouted at the mists, drawing his own kunai. "I'm no coward! I'll fight you here and now!"

"As you wish," Zabuza said quietly behind the blond as he brought his blade across and through the boy's body, not even bothering to watch the child die.

* * *

Naruto blinked in the sunlight and looked up at Kakashi, walking calmly ahead of him. "Sensei," he said, sorting out his memories, "One of the teams has been hit. Ummm... someone named Zabuza... Mocha? Moochee?"

_Momochi Zabuza_, thought Kakashi. _Jonin ranked, and a rank earned through blood, not mission ranks and friendly competitions. We're in for a fight, eventually._ "Which team," he asked, giving the surrounding area a little more scrutiny in case the foe was close.

"The last one, sensei."

Kakashi held out his hand, and Tazuna grunted before slapping his last bottle of sake into the jonin's hand. "Never make a bet you can't bear to lose," said Kakashi, tossing the bottle to smash against a tree, splashing the alcohol around the area. "Tell me," he asked his students, "Why did he hit the last group?"

Sakura spoke up when the other two said nothing. Naruto had a studious but laughable look on his face, while Sasuke wore his traditional look of bored indifference, although Sakura thought they were both thinking carefully. "For almost any ninja, the only way to make that many teams would be to use standard clones, which are simplistic and incapable of further jutsu. The last team to leave the restroom would almost have to be the real versions, and if an observer happened to notice them leaving and saw them interacting with the world physically, they would likely assume that the last ones were the real ones."

Kakashi nodded, and looked at Naruto expectantly. He was still frowning, and Kakashi imagined he could hear the ungreased wheels of the blond's mind squeaking under the unusual effort he was making. Finally, something seemed to snap free, and his eyes widened.

"But because my shadow clones can perform jutsu, and interact with the world physically, it's harder to notice that they are fake. You made us leave first, because you know anyone watching would assume the first group to leave would be fakes of some sort."

"Very good, Naruto, Sakura. It's good to see you both have a grasp of what we did and why." Sakura smiled, and Naruto grinned hard at such a small praise. Kakashi sent a glance to Sasuke, and saw the glint in the boy's eyes as he thought about the situation.

Sasuke was thinking hard, but not on the same thing as everyone else. _This is impossible,_ he thought over and over, a litany of disbelief that did nothing to change the fact that he had heard the plan Kakashi had presented to them in the public bathroom they had ducked into. _Naruto made shadow clones to henge into copies of us, and they got orders to make more copies, but Kakashi never said..._

"Dobe," said Sasuke quietly. When Naruto looked at him, still grinning, Sasuke asked that he really needed to know. "How many teams did you send out?"

Naruto thought for a moment, and his grin got bigger. "Six teams. I wanted to do more, but Kakashi-sensei insisted they be able to fight and run for at least a day, so I had to be careful not to... what?"

Sasuke and Sakura were staring at him.

_Six teams,_ Sakura thought, her estimation of her occasionally stupid teammate raising as she did the math. _Thirty clones, capable of lasting a full day or more and fighting._ The team had leaned on Naruto's shadow clone technique plenty of times in the past, using them for manual labor and spars, but banished clones returned their chakra to their owner, so she'd assumed they were only capable of low key physical labor. But if all of those clones could operate that long and fight with jutsu, then...

_He's on a whole different level_, Sasuke was thinking at the same time. But where Sakura was shocked and pleasantly surprised, Sasuke was now grinding his teeth. _With that level of power, I could easily have my vengeance._

His thoughts were interrupted when Kakashi laid a hand on his shoulder gently, and the man leaned in to whisper quietly in his ear. "Don't forget who tends to win in your spars. Power is only as useful as the person who controls it, and chakra is not the only source of power." Kakashi gave the young man a pat on the shoulder and stood back to observe.

Sasuke nodded and forced his jaw to relax. _Their power is my power,_ he repeated to himself, the words Kakashi had instilled into him after his disastrous first loss against the two of them. He realized that his angry thoughts had not been hidden as well as he hoped, and both of his teammates were looking at him with pity. _No, not pity, concern, according to Kakashi._

He blew out a single deep breath, then held out his arm, fist closed, at Naruto. "Your use of the clones is getting better, Dead Last. Don't think I'll go easy on you, just because you're useful. I'll run you into the ground."

Naruto glared at the black-haired Uchiha for a moment, before he laughed and bumped fists with him. "You're on, teme."

"Well," Kakashi said, taking the lead again, "we should get to Tazuna's in an hour. With any luck, Zabuza will be busy until then."

* * *

Hours later, after they had reached Tazuna's home and settled for a meal, Naruto stiffened. "Kakashi-sensei," he said quietly.

Kakashi looked at him.

"Zabuza just finished off the clone of you on the last team."

"Ahh," said Kakashi, lifting his chopsticks, amused to notice how hard Sakura was trying to see how he ate through his mask. "He hunted down the other teams, then?"

Naruto frowned in confusion. "Ehhh? No, baka-sensei, he finished the clone of you on the last team." He looked over at his teammates in time to see Sakura's chopsticks hit the table from where they fell from her hands. Sasuke's mouth was open, food inches from it, and his eyes were narrowing.

"... What?"

Even Kakashi had to work to keep his voice even. "How did you manage that, exactly?"

Naruto shrugged. "Well, once the first clone disguised as you got trapped in a position where he couldn't escape, he kinda made more clones before taking the hit..."

* * *

"Where are they?" bellowed Zabuza, leaping through the trees, eyes searching.

The fight with Kakashi had been brutal. The man had been insane, abandoning any concept of defense for pure, all out attack and forcing Zabuza into a defensive position. He had shown no inclination to use jutsu in the fight, even after Zabuza had cut down his student. But Zabuza did not earn his title by being a pushover, and he had eventually regained the initiative. Even as he brought the blade around for a blow he knew Kakashi could not dodge, his foe had made a two-handed sign... and four copies of him formed, even as the original dissipated in a puff of chakra smoke.

That's when Zabuza realized that he'd never so much as heard the first genin's body hit the ground.

The fight had become hectic as he cut down clone after clone, more appearing with every stroke. Every gambit he made, every trick and trap and technique he used to try and draw out the real Kakashi, caught only more clones. He took several blows, including a few unpleasantly deep but nonlethal cuts in his legs when one clone used the death of four of his kind to make a suicide lunge with a pair of kunai. Zabuza had tagged the clone with the pommel of his blade, but not before the kunai had sunk into his legs. The fight had only ended when the final clone raised his hands in the now familiar seal and vanished with a look of surprise.

When Zabuza let the mist fade and saw that not a single body was in sight, he had started screaming, and he had not stopped, not in the twenty minutes he had been following the trail of the rest of the team. His screams echoed through the woods, and got louder with every flex of his legs and every drop of his blood that fell from them. They hurt terribly, but in his fury, he found the strength to ignore the pain. As he approached the fleeing team, leaping from tree to tree, he saw the pink-haired brat was carrying the bridge builder across her back, giving the children a little more speed.

_But not enough_, he thought with a great deal of satisfaction. _Kakashi obviously left with another group, assuming his clone could hold me off long enough to return._ Why else would they bother fleeing with the builder, slowing them down as they tried to escape? _I bet they hoped I would find and focus on Kakashi once I figured out his clone trick, so they left the dead weight with the weaker party._

Zabuza hurled his blade as soon as they came in range, and the two genin split up. The black-haired boy in blue turned to face him, while the girl continued to flee. _Another clone,_ Zabuza figured, grinning beneath his mask. He charged forward, ignoring the clone's weak attack to deliver a simple but powerful punch to dispel it.

The pink-haired girl had stopped running and set the bridge builder down to better fight her foe. Unlike the others, she took up a wide stance, arms raised like a prizefighter. _Might be a real one,_ thought Zabuza, slowing his charge to consider his next move. Then he saw a flash of fast-moving color to his right, and laughed.

The first senbon needle hit Tazuna in the temple, a perfect strike... and he dispelled.

_No._

The pink girl turned to the new attacker, stance shifting awkwardly, like she had never used the style before.

_No._

Her eyes widened slightly as Haku flew at her, arm outstretched and senbon already in flight. Her mouth opened slightly as if to say something, then the needle hit, in the middle of her forehead... and she dispelled as well.

_NO!_

Zabuza screamed in animalistic fury and started to lash out at his surroundings.

* * *

Naruto looked up from his nearly empty plate. "The last one on the first team just popped."

"How..." Sakura was whispering, and looking at Naruto. _Impossible,_ was all she could think. "How many times did the clones replicate?" Naruto looked confused. _How do I ask him how many iterations he had,_ she thought for a moment. _He is like a child, not enough vocab... oh, right._

"Pretend they were having children," she said quickly, before he got too confused, "and each time they split, it was the next generation for that clone. How many generations did the clone have, at most? If the last clone was the last child, what was its relation to the original?"

Naruto paused and started counting in his head. Original had split into six, call them first generation, then G1-2 had split into four to take that second blow...

It took Naruto almost thirty seconds to sort out the many memories he had received, determining who was next to die based on their position on the battlefield when they appeared.

"The very last one was his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. But when he tried to make another set, he ran out of chakra." He looked at the wide eyed stares the table was giving him, and sunk deeper into his seat. "I think," he mumbled.

Sakura's mind buzzed. _Ten iterations, after the original twenty. Each iteration split the clone's chakra at least by half if not more..._

Impossible.

Sakura stood and walked out of the house without a word.

* * *

Kakashi found Sakura out at the end of the dock. He crept up on her at first, observing her, and saw she was not crying or shaking. Just thinking, very carefully. He felt a little warm pride creep into his chest with the realization that her reaction was at least partially because of him. He allowed himself to move towards her without his customary stealth, eventually sitting on the dock next to her. She was still motionless, her eyes tracking back and forth, following what was going on inside her head. He waited quietly, enjoying the peaceful night.

"What is he, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi nodded to himself. _Not an unexpected conversation, really. _"You mean who, Sakura."

Sakura turned and stared at him, eyes blazing. "No, Kakashi, I mean what." The loss of the honorific was not missed by Kakashi, nor was her angry tone. "He has more chakra then any ninja I know of. The Hokage. The Sannin. Every academy teacher, every ninja I know. That's not separate, Kakashi, that's combined." She looked down at the water. "_What_ is he."

He shrugged. "He is Naruto, the Great Orange Prank, Number One Surprising Shinobi of Konoha." He looked down at her in the watery reflection, and saw the first hint of fear in her eyes. "Sakura," he said quietly, drawing her attention. She looked up, barely formed tears in her eyes, tears she was fighting with all of her might to keep in. _Good girl,_he thought approvingly.

"I know from where Naruto gets his power. He is human, very much so, but he does have one advantage, one that gives him a great deal of raw power. Although technically incorrect, consider it a sort of bloodline limit."

"A Kekkei Genkai," she asked, using the formal title for the genetic powers that many shinobi bloodlines had. Her voice was slightly awed, but it still wavering. Kakashi nodded in reply. "What is it?" she asked.

"I cannot say."

Sakura whirled in place, bending into her Four Legged stance and snarling at her teacher. Kakashi raised his hands, waving them downwards in a placating manner. "Ahh, no need to get like that, Sakura. I really cannot say. It is a capital crime to tell you what it is."

She stood slowly from her fighting stance. "A capital crime?"

"Yes." Kakashi stood and dusted some imaginary dirt from his pants. "The only one that can tell you is Naruto, and frankly, he is already terrified that you and Sasuke will think he's a monster. I can't stop you from asking," he said, turning to face some bushes near the start of the dock, "but I can suggest that you not do so."

Sasuke stepped out from the bushes, hands still in pockets. "You're saying that the dobe is too scared to tell us why he's so strong," said Sasuke. It was not phrased as a question. Kakashi nodded in reply, and Sasuke scoffed. "Idiot," he said, turning back towards the house and walking away.

Sakura started jogging to catch up to Sasuke, who was moving at a slow walk, the same walk he used every time he was with a teammate, one designed to convey disdain at a slow pace while inadvertently encouraging others to catch up. _The same one he uses when he wants a teammate with him,_ Sakura translated in her head, _but he's too obstinate to admit it._

"Where are you going?" called Kakashi.

"To ask, of course," she called back to her teacher.

* * *

Sakura knocked politely at the door to the boy's bedroom and waited for a reply. When none came, she knocked again, then opened the door slightly. "Naruto," she said quietly, "Can we talk?"

She heard him grumble, but it wasn't a no, so she slipped inside.

Naruto was sitting with his back to the wall, staring out the window opposite from him. The moon outside was bright, and its light shining through the window screen covered his face like a fence made of shadows. _Or a cage,_ she thought as she sat down in front of him.

They sat in silence for nearly a minute, and in that time, Naruto never looked away from the window. Sakura could see him quite clearly, and several times his jaw moved slightly, as if he wanted to speak.

"You can tell us," she said.

"You say that now," he mumbled, still refusing to look at her, "but once I tell you, you'll be like the rest. You'll nod and smile when you have to, but when nobody else looks, you'll whisper, and point, and mock. Back in the academy, you already were like that to me. Just like the rest." He didn't sound angry or spiteful to Sakura. He just seemed very… tired.

There was a few moments of silence. Sakura wanted to deny what he had said about her, but she knew damned well she couldn't. Before they really became a team, she had looked down on the loudmouth blond, just as most of the other students had. She decided to ignore his point for now, although she knew they'd have to talk about it eventually.

"It's that bad?" she asked.

He nodded, and his eyes finally met hers.

_Dear kami,_ she thought, staring into his eyes. _He really is terrified. _She broke eye contact, looking at the floor, giving herself time to think. He was annoying, and loud, and brash, and uncouth. But he was also friendly, and loyal, and outgoing. He was, when all was said and done, a friend, possibly a very good friend, and in his eyes she had seen his fear, and she half suspected it was fear of losing what little he had. If enough people treated him as he had said...

"I need to ask something else then," she said quietly. "I don't want to pry, Naruto. I really don't. We're friends, even if I do get a little... physical when I get angry at you." She was suddenly feeling very guilty about that last part, but in the light of the moon, he saw him smile, just a little, and with the way he and Sasuke fought, she figured he'd be okay with the occasional thump. She gave him a small smile back, then schooled her face back into a calm, neutral state. "But... whatever is going on with you, I need to know... is it safe? Is it controlled?"

She felt crushed when he frowned at her, but she sat up straighter and waited for his answer. Kekkei Genkai were not always safe for the user, or for those around them, and some families that carried them were famed for their mental instability or social problems. She didn't want to ask, but in the same vein, she had to know if she needed to be on the lookout, in case he became a danger.

Finally, Naruto nodded. "My... problem was dangerous, at one point. But it should not be a danger any more, according to Kakashi." He scratched the back of his head. "I don't know what all might be involved, actually. I've been told very little about my... condition. Right now, aside from details, all it's really done is made me have a lot of chakra, and help heal me from injuries."

"That's why you were able to spar so much with Hinata, isn't it?"

Naruto nodded, and managed a small grin.

_Damn,_ Sakura thought, remembering a couple conversations she'd had with the Hyuga a few weeks before, _I owe her an apology now. She really _was _hitting him._

"Okay," she said, standing up to leave. "You know, if you ever really want to talk about it..."

Naruto yawned and scooted over to his mattress. "Maybe later. Thanks, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiled as she opened the door. _Honorific and all. Guess he is all right._

"Sure," she said, shutting the door quietly, "any time." She then walked down the stairs, where she had convinced Sasuke to wait for her, having explained that '_Hey, Dobe, why are you so powerful_' was insufficient for the importance of the conversation.

* * *

Sasuke opened the door some time later. He stepped into the room and laid down on his mattress without so much as a grunt. After a few moments, he tilted his head slightly. "Hey, Dobe," he said, in a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Whatever it is, you're still a dobe."

Naruto grinned under the cover of darkness. "Thanks, Teme."

* * *

"I made a mistake, Haku."

"How so?" asked Haku, preparing to tend to his master's legs. The cuts had been painful but harmless early on. Then Zabuza had started to rage and demolish a small section of the forest, the cuts had ripped deeper, and Haku had been forced to stun Zabuza with a few senbon until he could stop the bleeding. Now he had no choice but to stitch up the injuries, and he was heating the thick needle he was intending to use for the job over a lit candle to sterilize it. He watched his master and savior through the flame of the candle, staring at the man's face, unwrapped for once.

"I underestimated Sharingan Kakashi." Zabuza spat, quite literally, and glared at the wall as Haku prepared the thread and needle, "I will not do this again." He picked up a small stick covered in teeth marks from the healer's kit, then laid back and set the stick in his mouth.

With nothing else to be said, Haku leaned over and began to work.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes: **I was uncertain about using shadow clones to make shadow clones, but nothing I found in my searching indicated that a clone could not clone, barring limits to chakra. The number of clone iterations is probably much more than canon this early (if a clone of a clone takes half the clone's chakra, instead of them all sharing a chakra pool with the original owner, which is how I assume such a thing would work). There is in fact a reason for it, although it will not come up for some time yet.

First, and foremost, thanks to **Cute Kirby. **I looked at your review for last chapter, specifically about how I wrote Naruto and Kakashi at the end... and you are absolutely right. Naruto does not show any meaningful altruistic trend until the end of the Wave arc, and while I could have just left it as is and claimed he got some moral training from Kakashi around the same time he learned about the price gouging... that would be lazy. Hooray for the power of the edit.

**Arcan Amazdi** mentioned that, regardless of how good a trainer Kakashi was, there was no way that Naruto could put up any challenge to him. I can understand that, but I also point out that, like canon, "winning" was not the goal, distraction was. As for his injuries, I have updated the text to hopefully give a better indication of my intended purpose, which was that the worst of it was self-inflicted.


	9. When Doormats Attack!

"You're all going to die," said Inari the next morning. The ninja at the table stopped to stare at the little boy calmly declaring their death. All but one were surprised at his audacity. But Sakura was angry.

"What was that," said Sakura, standing up from her place at the table with a sneer on her face.

"You all are going to fight, and Gato is going to win, and you'll all-"

Inari dropped to the ground, cradling his head and staring at the shoes of the pink-haired kunoichi towering over him. "What shit," she said, crouching down until their faces were almost touching, "are you talking? Never mind that you're saying this to people fighting for you, or your own grandfather who is fighting for your future. Never mind you said it to one of the greatest minds of the ninja world, or the last heir to a great clan, or a ninja with enough power that even the smallest fraction of it could crush you." She ignored the annoyed grunt behind her from her more surly teammate. She made a fist and raised it up."You said it to me. And you of all people will not tell me I will lose."

Her fist fell, and stopped only because Kakashi was suddenly there beside her, his hand pressed into her elbow, holding her back. Even as he did so, it took a small fraction of a second for her fist to stop, and she felt him slowly increase his own effort until it did. _Even he underestimates me, underestimates my strength_, she thought, turning to glare at her sensei. Kakashi met her eyes with his own, then shook his head a tiny fraction. His one eye turned slightly towards the child where he had fallen out of his chair in surprise, then back to her. Not sure what he was getting at she also looked at the civilian kid.

And the thought struck her; _I just tried to strike a child._ She looked down at the kid, crying and covering his head, and she realized just how young he was compared to them. _An untrained child, and I tried to hit him as hard as I hit Naruto. Like I would a foe._ The horror was slowly growing, a cold chunk of ice in her gut spreading throughout her body. She could feel the cold stares of every person in the room.

Her hands unclenched and she turned to leave, only to feel a slight tug from her arm, still in Kakashi's grip. She looked up at him and watched his one eye stare at her, his eyebrow going up slightly, then his gaze turned back to Inari, who was starting to manage his tears.

She turned back and bowed to Inari, a deep bow, which she held for some time. "I am sorry, Inari-san, for striking you. It is not right to refute words with blows, regardless how one feels. Please forgive me." She rose and, with a nod from Kakashi, retired to her room.

"Inari," said Naruto, walking over and putting a friendly arm around the kid's shoulders, "Maybe we should go for a walk." He lead the still-stunned kid in the direction of the front door, and as he opened it, he shot a glare at Sasuke, who was still sitting unmoved where he had been all this time. He pointed up the stairs after Sakura, and glared until Sasuke gave a sigh and began to stand. He then led the little boy outside and shut the door.

* * *

Sasuke knocked on the door and waited. After a few moments of silence, he knocked again.

"Go away, Naruto," Sakura said through the wall, her voice shaking slightly. "I don't want to talk."

Sasuke stood there for some time, debating what he was going to do. He had no desire to talk to Sakura. She had been an annoying fangirl for most of his life, one of the loudest, shrillest, and most aggressive of them all, rivaled only by the damned blonde she always competed with. Her desperate calls for his attention had been a major part of his time at school, and it had taken years to learn to ignore it.

_Had been,_ he thought to himself, taking note of his internal tirade. _Was._ She had been annoying... but he begrudgingly admitted that she was getting better, much better. When they sparred, he had to work just as hard to win against her as he did against Naruto, but where Naruto was a challenge because of his innovation and clones, Sakura was a challenge on skill and ferocity alone. She had yet to use any sort of jutsu in their fights, even when permitted, and while she still lost when they were one-on-one, the gap was getting smaller with each day.

_Their power is my power._

He found enough respect in himself, and in her, to knock once more, and managed to grunt out, "It's me."

No screaming was heard through the walls, no gasps of romantic delight, not even the smallest of cheers greeted him. He heard Sakura quietly pad over to the door and open it with almost no sound, and she stood before him, eyes brimming with tears, biting her lip so hard he could see the marks it was leaving.

He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He slowly walked to the window, took his time looking out at Naruto and Inari on the dock below, and when he turned back to her, she was in control, calmer than he could really expect from her.

"What happened," he said, in the same tone he always used, and winced slightly with the frost in his own voice.

She walked into the middle of the room and sat, head down, his shadow blocking the sun from her face, leaving it in darkness. Her mouth worked, and he heard the slightest of whispers come from her, but nothing understandable. He waited, but she did not repeat herself. He sighed, then stepped away from the window and sat down in front of her, trying to meet her eyes through her bangs. Still, she said nothing.

_I dedicate my soul to any deity who will answer my one greatest wish, that this will not make her revert to type._

He reached out and cupped her face in his hand, raising it up until she met his eyes. He stared at her, motionless, his expression as cold as it ever was, feeling the dampness on her skin under her eyes, and waited. Eventually, her eyes hardened, and she lifted her head from his hand and gave him a nod. _Miracles do exist,_ he thought, and permitted himself a small smile at this most pleasant surprise. "What happened," he repeated, trying to keep that small smile, to let a little of its unfamiliar warmth into his voice.

"I snapped," she said, her tone of voice as dull as his own habitually was, and hearing it from her, he felt a twinge of regret at using it exclusively with others. _It makes her sound dead,_ he thought, _so I wonder what it does for me._

"Why," he asked.

She frowned at him. "I... don't wish to say. You will think less of me than usual, and I think it will annoy you greatly."

Sasuke smirked at that. "I abandoned my meal and came up here to talk. You can presume I am annoyed. Don't let it stop you, it never really did before." There was a flash in her eyes at that, a streak of anger, and Sasuke was careful not to smile. _Let her be angry, it's better than being dead._

She took a deep breath and let it out before speaking. "I became angry at being considered a failure. Again. I was a failure when we left the academy, grades aside. I knew plenty about shinobi, but nothing about being one. Kakashi showed me that, and I have worked hard to become better. But there is a little part of me that doubts my efforts, that doubts that him, or Naruto, or... or you will ever see me as anything but weak." She blushed and looked away, and Sasuke felt sudden dread, the cold grasp of a fangirl confession squeezing his heart.

"I know," she said, looking at him with pain in her eyes, and he wondered if his face had conveyed his dread. "I know you dislike what I was. And I know you'll never feel anything for me, you do not need to tell me. But I'm only human." She looked away again. "Now, all I want is to be strong enough to stand beside you, and Naruto, instead of in your shadows."

Sasuke frowned and thought carefully for a moment. He then swept his hand out, palm flat, slapping at her face.

With barely a look, her arm raised in a block. Her eyes turned harsh, and she sent her other hand out in return, a slap that he blocked with ease. Then she turned her hands inward, grabbing him by the wrist, and pulled him towards her. He braced himself, leaning away, expecting a dreaded hug or, kami be damned, a kiss, and was completely unprepared for the headbutt.

It was beautiful, a textbook example, the steel of her headband smashing into his nose, his upper lip, rocking his head back. He felt his nose compact, nearly breaking under the strike, and his upper lips were slashed by his own teeth. His body recoiled, and he fell flat on his back.

He then gave a short, sharp laugh.

After a moment, he heard her snort in return, a perfect imitation of his own manner of amusement. It struck him as odd, but pleasant and somehow deeply amusing. He found himself laughing, not some meager, deliberate, derisive snort, but a full, warm chuckle from deep within his chest, the likes of which he had never felt, even in the old days, before his brother...

And even that pain was just a little less sharp.

_Ok, so Kakashi was right, it hurts less. Like hell I'll admit it to him._

"Kakashi told me something," he said from the floor. He lifted his head slightly, and saw her laying on the floor, mirroring his own pose, her hand on her forehead rubbing at the mark the steel head plate had left in her skin.

"What," she said, sitting up.

He dragged himself up into a sitting position as well. "He said all three of us have problems."

"No, really." she said, her voice toneless, her eyes wide in feigned surprise.

"Ha, ha," he said in return. "He told me that Naruto has abandonment issues, and with no guidance in his youth, he has self control problems." Sakura let out a fake gasp, but he ignored her for now. "He also said you have self esteem issues, and having your assumption of capability crushed like it was when we became a team might have made it worse."

Sakura grunted at that, but she didn't dispute it. Instead, she tented her hands and stared at him over them. "And you?" she asked.

Sasuke frowned, his good cheer draining away. He had zero desire to talk about what Kakashi had said about the matter to him... but he realized that if he was not honest with her here and now, then all of his efforts would have been fruitless. Better to be discomforted now than have to do this again later. And if Kakashi was right before, about so many things, maybe he was right now. _Maybe I am not as alone as I tend to presume._

"He calls it a chip on my shoulder. I call it my duty. But either way, my brother needs to die for his crimes. It makes me focused, driven... and distant." Sakura did her best, but a small giggle and nod arrived at that declaration. He frowned at her, and made a deliberate and difficult effort not to simply stop talking and walk away. "It's not funny, Sakura. I feel... pressured. You can't possibly understand."

"Tell me."

He looked at her, sitting in the sunlight streaming from the window. No obsession, no obligation, and no judgment shone in her eyes. She sat quietly as he stared at her, making no effort to push him along, and offering no punishment for declining.

"He killed my family," he said, unable to meet her eyes any longer. "He slaughtered them, and then challenged me to do something about it, to hunt him down and slay him. He used his power against me, made me live... it... over and over again. He must die, and I must do it. And every moment I spend not gaining power is a moment wasted, another moment where I allow him to live unpunished. Where my family is unavenged." His eyes dropped, and for a moment, all he could see was his mother and father… again.

They sat together in a long and uncomfortable silence. Sakura did not approach him, made no move to comfort him or give him solace. She stared at him, and when he finally lifted his eyes to her face, she was not crying, nor sad, or even angry. She was thinking, entirely focused on her thoughts, her eyes narrowed and her hands clenched into fists. She looked up, and her eyes were ablaze like a forge, hot coals burning strong enough to turn mere iron into steel.

"I will join you in your revenge," she said after a long moment, her voice as quiet as a blade in the darkness, "and I bet when the time comes, so will Naruto. You'll fight your brother, and we'll be there, not to slay him for you, but to support you, to ensure that, come what may, you will have your vengeance."

_Their strength is my strength._

He nodded to her, a moment of understanding passing between them, an epiphany. Sakura was placing success above method, offering her strength unconditionally, possibly sacrificing herself for his goal. There was no schoolgirl romance involved, no declaration of undying love, not even an assumption of friendship, only the determination to do what needed to be done.

She understood exactly what it was to be an avenger.

"Sakura," he said, giving her a small smile, "I accept your offer. Not out of friendship, or kinship, or any other reason, but in acknowledgment. You may not be as strong as you can be. You may have to work yourself to an early grave to keep up. But you are strong, and between the two of us, we'll demolish anyone who says otherwise." Her smirked. "Think of everything else before then as practice."

He held out his arm, fist clenched tight.

After a moment, she did the same.

* * *

Naruto and Inari sat at the dock, their shoes off and their feet soaking in the water. Inari was slumped forward, hat pulled low over his eyes as he stared at the water. "Sorry, Inari," said Naruto, kicking his heels slightly, "Sakura-chan can be scary."

After some more silence, Naruto sighed and mirrored the kid's slump. "Why do you think we are going to die?"

"Because everyone who fights dies. Shopkeepers die. Bridge workers die." His voice became quiet, but just on the edge of his hearing, Naruto heard Inari whisper the final person on his list, and the most important. "My dad died."

Naruto sat there quietly and tried to think. He was not well suited to this conversation, and he knew it. It was not, after all, a subject he had any real right to comment on. In the end, he defaulted to blunt honesty, which at least had the benefit of being uncomplicated. "I never knew my dad," he said with a shrug. "My mom either. I was brought up alone for the most part. Maybe that's the difference. You know, between us. Or maybe it's the sameness between us. I never knew my parents, and hurt for my lack. You knew your dad, and hurt for your loss. Either way, we both hurt."

"So why fight," came the quiet reply.

Naruto leaned back, resting his head on his folded arms, and stared at the bright blue sky. "Well," he said, trying to put his thoughts in order. "I don't know. Is not fighting any better? You might be safe, but then again, you might not be. Nothing is stopping this Gato bastard from just walking up here and killing you, with or without the bridge. It might be we're all going to die. It happens. If you are going to die..." He raised his hand, clasping at the distant sun as if to make it his own, closing his fist around it. "If you're going to die anyhow, maybe it's better to go out fighting. Who knows," he said, smiling to himself, "You might just save someone else. You cannot protect anyone if you never raise your arms to help them."

Inari leaned back and looked at the sky. His face was no longer sad, but thoughtful.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes: **Sakura's increased strength and aggression comes at a price. Nobody goes from doormat to fighter without a little loose baggage**, **and as it turns out, directly or indirectly, canon!Sakura has some convenient baggage to carry anyhow, in the form of (sometimes excessive) self doubt.

A short chapter, low on action and high on talky talk. I had originally intended to leap directly into Zabuza's assault on the bridge, as Inari's little emo act always annoyed me to no end and I saw little need to rehash it. But it is also a vital part of the story, and a chance for a little character growth in my version, so I decided to go for it. Next up is training, where the difference between canon and this story will grow a bit more, then on to the fight, which I think you will find quite interesting.

**SpontaneousMusician:** I appreciate folks having a preferred ship, but frankly, shipping is not going to happen any time soon. In truth, I have plans for entire omake style chapters dedicated to shipwrecks of all sorts, because I am a cruel, cruel man, who drinks the salty tears of ship rekt fic'ers. Naruto does not have anything close to official shipping until late Shippuden, and I intend to keep to that spirit of non-shipping until at least early post-time skip era. For those who might be wondering, the above chapter is not intended to be the opening salvo of the probably dreaded by some Sasuke x Sakura 440mm Canon Cannon, but instead, as an actual person learning to be slightly more human and less of a pillock, while another person is permitted to feel as a teammate and equal.


	10. Training in What You (Really) Need!

Kakashi looked up from his bowl of unfamiliar compressed grain bits and looked at his team, taking stock of the end result from Sakura's little temper tantrum the other day. Inari was being very quiet but a little more polite than previously, and occasionally talking to Naruto. The Orange Blur of Konoha was his usual self, loud and playful in spite of the long hours he had spent with Kakashi the night before, retelling the battle in full detail. Kakashi could see how the boy kept turning slightly towards the door, and he took it as a sign of unrest.

Sakura was quietly eating her meal, and spending a great deal of effort being as quiet and polite as possible, to the point of feeling distant from the others. And every few minutes, she would glance once at Kakashi, a tiny flick of her eyes, like she was waiting for his permission... or punishment.

_Smart girl,_ he thought, taking a bite of what had been introduced to him as "whaet fleaks" by Tsunami and listening to them crunch as he watched Sasuke, who had yet to say a word to anyone. He was distant and quiet, and held himself apart from the others in his body language, same as always, but he looked... comfortable, as much as Kakashi had ever seen him, and even as he watched, Sasuke shifted, just slightly, towards Sakura. _They're a little young for... that,_ he thought with a little internal giggle, _but something must have happened between them._

_Well, good, they'll all need a good mood for today._

Kakashi set his spoon down next to the empty bowl, ignoring the strange look he was getting from Tsunami, who had been watching him the entire meal, fixated no doubt on his unremoved mask, and stood. "Tazuna," he said to the old man, who spared him a glance. "Today, I will guard you myself, while my students train."

"What!" shouted Naruto, slamming his hand on the table, "But that Mochi guy and his friend could attack any time!"

Kakashi shook his head at the outburst. "No, they will not. Zabuza has been tricked, in a very obvious and, according to you, very painful manner. He will need time to heal, assuming he has no medic-nin with him, which is probable. Furthermore, he will need time to plan his assault, because now he knows that we are capable of using shadow clones as substitutes for anyone." _And if he has half a brain,_ he added mentally, _he knows we have at least one chakra powerhouse with us._ Splitting his original clone into multiple clones had been a good move for Naruto to make, but it also gave away some of his strengths, and a smart opponent might spot this. Kakashi knew what it was to be underestimated, and he refused to make that fatal error against his foe.

"I will be giving each of you a task, and it will be upon you to train with it as hard as you can. You will do so in the area I bring you to, and will train until either I retrieve you, night falls, or you hear a disturbance that needs to be investigated or reported." He looked at each of them in turn, focusing on them and letting out a tiny fraction of his killing intent. "Your first priority, at all times, is this house and its occupants. Someone like Gato or Zabuza would not be above taking hostages or murdering families to win, and I will not have my team failing this mission to such a blatantly obvious concept." Each genin nodded in turn, and he grunted.

"Sasuke, come with me."

* * *

They stood on the dock outside, facing the water. "I dislike leaving you to practice anything in easy view," Kakashi said quietly, "as it gives away your strengths, so be aware of your surroundings, just in case." Sasuke grunted in annoyance, and Kakashi admitted to himself that it was an obvious point to make. He acknowledged the point with a shrug, and got a nod in return.

"Activate your sharingan."

Sasuke opened his eyes slightly wider, and Kakashi watched them turn red, two tomoe circling in one eye, and a third in the other. _Not a complete set just yet, but it'll do for this._

"I will use a jutsu you are familiar with, the Great Fireball, which I understand you can perform. I want you to observe it carefully, especially the chakra that is expelled with it." Sasuke grunted again, and Kakashi performed the hand seals and exhaled a billowing cloud of fire that flashed into the lake, boiling the water beneath it. When the technique ended, Kakashi watched as several fish floated to the surface.

"What did you see?" he asked.

Sasuke let his eyes rest and thought of how to answer. The obvious answer, a cloud of fire sustained by chakra, was too obvious to require demonstration. Kakashi obviously wanted him to notice something, but what? _Because he asked for my sharingan,_ _he probably wanted me to focus on the chakra. There is a reason he did so. The amount of chakra is a measure of power, but not something I can improve quickly. The source of chakra is from the mouth, which did not need demonstration._

"Again please, sensei."

Sasuke watched, tomoe spinning, as Kakashi performed the move again. The fire flowed from his sensei's masked face almost like a liquid, rolling out in a ball shape that whirled with its own internal flow. The cloud expanded over the same patch of water, leaving the water sizzling and the already dead fish burnt that much more.

Then he focused on the fish, and saw what he was looking for.

"It's a cloud, and like a cloud, it touches a large area, but not evenly. The fish in the middle were burnt, and the ones outside were much less burnt."

"And what was I shooting at?"

Sasuke looked again. "You were aiming for the fish," he hazarded. Kakashi nodded, and waved a hand at the water.

"How effective was this technique?"

Sasuke snorted in amusement. "Not very," he said. Kakashi hit more water than fish, and all that effort was wasted. Then his eyes narrowed. If this was an ineffective tool for catching fish, how effective would it be against a ninja? He looked at Kakashi, who was waiting patiently for him to make the connection.

"Konoha teaches those who have an affinity for fire in many techniques, and every one of them can essentially be considered the 'Grand Fireball only More So' jutsu. It is ludicrous. Sometimes, you need a net. And other times, you need a spear."

Sasuke stared into the distance, thinking. "How do I do that," he asked himself, unaware he did so out loud.

"Your training is to figure it out." Kakashi was already walking back towards the house. "Gather the fish you kill, no point wasting food. Oh, and Sasuke?" He turned and Sasuke swore he could see the man beaming through his mask. "This is a reward. I don't know what you said, but you managed to get through to your teammate. In doing so, you make them stronger. In doing so..."

"... I make myself stronger," Sasuke said, slightly annoyed that Kakashi was still pounding it into his head, and even more annoyed the gray-haired bastard was so damned right. He grunted out his annoyance and turned back to the lake, mind already dedicated to the task ahead.

* * *

"So, what am I learning, sensei?"

Naruto was fairly bouncing as he walked along with Kakashi into the woods. Kakashi was scanning the trees looking some something, and when he found it, he jumped ahead. Naruto ran to catch up, and found Kakashi standing in a field, a long branch over his shoulder. He tossed the branch to Naruto, who stepped aside and let it fall to the ground.

Kakashi smirked under his mask at the fine and quite shinobi-like degree of caution. "Pick up the stick," he said, taking a ready stance, "and hit me with it." Naruto looked suitably nervous, but he bent down and hefted the stick, which was almost twice his height. "I don't know if I can hit you. Not as in '_oh no, not my sensei_,' more '_I doubt this will work_,' Kakashi-sensei."

"Fair enough, Naruto, but try as best you can."

Naruto charged, stick held at one end, arms wide to support the weight, and before he even got within range he began bringing the stick across in a sweeping arc, starting the blow early so it had time to be in place when he got close enough. Kakashi jumped straight up, just high enough to pass over the stick, and as he came down, he was pleasantly unsurprised to see Naruto's leg lashing out into a kick even as he continued his turn to bring the stick back into play, exactly as he had described the previous night.

On the next pass, Kakashi caught the stick with a grunt, stopping Naruto dead in his tracks. "Naruto, have you ever fought someone who used a over-sized stick as a weapon." Naruto made a confused face and shook his head.

"How about someone else, who used a different over-sized weapon." Kakashi expected the boy to remain confused, and he was not disappointed. He waited a moment, and tried once more.

"Like, say, Zabuza?"

"Huh?"

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand over his face. _A tree does not grow overnight,_ he told himself, fighting the urge to raise his voice. "Naruto, you fought just then exactly like you described Zabuza to fight. I think you managed to pick up the basics of his style when you fought him."

"But... I only fought him once!" Naruto shouted in confusion.

"No. By my understanding, you fought him nearly one hundred and twenty times, one clone at a time."

Naruto brightened. "Like how I started to get how Hinata-chan's moves worked once we started sparring!" Kakashi nodded, but his quiet acknowledgement was ignored by the loudly celebrating genin. "Yeah!" he shouted, spinning in place, "I know how to sword fight now!"

"Not in the least, Naruto."

Naruto tripped over himself and planted his face into the ground.

"You do not know how to fight with a sword, Naruto. You can do a convincing job faking it, but it's only an act, and a real swordsman would spot it in an instant and gut you like a fish." He reached down and helped Naruto up, noticing the frown on the boy's face. "But that does not mean it is useless."

He handed Naruto the stick. "I want you to use your clones and try to figure out some ways to counter the sword Zabuza uses, which we will then discuss with the team each night to see if any of them are viable. In doing so, you will develop your taijutsu to some degree, practice developing strategy and tactics, and more importantly, you may give us a major advantage in the fight we'll face quite soon."

Naruto saluted, stick still in hand, and Kakashi was forced to duck under the swing. He then stood, and his face grew dark. "Meanwhile, I will need some more clones from you for a separate purpose." He sighed inwardly as he waited for Naruto to produce his copies. _This is going to be rough all around._

* * *

Sakura looked around at the trees surrounding her, her heart filled with icy dread once more. The area Kakashi had led her to was gloomy and dark, filled with briers and dead leaves underfoot, an untamed and unpleasant deep forest. She followed him closely, nerves taut.

_This will be punishment,_ she thought as she stepped around a tree, _it will be. A ninja cannot lose control. To lose control is to fail the mission. To lose control is to die. To lose control is to kill your allies in error._ Her mind continued to whirl, dark thoughts flitting in and out of her head even as she stepped around the worst of the detritus on the ground.

Kakashi stopped and turned suddenly, and she felt the ice in her chest spread. He was looking down at her, and not just literally. His eyes were cold and distant, all the worse because she knew the warmth they usually held. She offered a short bow, and continued to hang her head as she rose from it. "I did something wrong, Sensei, and I know it to be wrong. I will be punished, and it will be just, because I know you will make no decision or punishment I do not deserve. I am ready."

Kakashi sighed inwardly, his eye narrowing at her. _A good act, a properly demure Yamato Nadeshiko, which means nothing for a ninja. Even the lowest monster can show contrition afterwards._ "Sakura," he said quietly, stiffly, "you know already what you did was wrong, and pretty words cannot change anything. You are as much of a danger to your friends and your clients as to yourself, and no words can change that either. I cannot let you endanger the team." He stood slightly taller, his head rising, as he pronounced his judgment. "I brought you out here to spare your dignity, not to train you. I am forced to remove you from Team 7. For the rest of this mission, you will remain at the house, not as a guard, but as a civilian. When the mission is over, you will return with us to Konoha, as a civilian, there to determine if you wish to enter the Academy again." Kakashi walked over to her, reached up, and pulled off her forehead protector, the very thing that told the world what she was... what she had been.

"You are dismissed, civilian."

Sakura's head whipped up, eyes wide, and she stared at her former teacher. But his gaze, his voice, his _will_ did not waver, and she let the tears form and fall from her eyes without a word of dissent. No gasp, no shout, no wail. She suffered silently, and he nodded once, both in dismissal, and in recognition of her composure, her last act as a shinobi. She turned and walked away quietly, refusing to make a single sound save for the tap of her feet and her tears on the forest floor.

And just as she reached the point where she would be hidden from view, where it would be acceptable to let out her suffering, she heard him, quietly, so quietly she wondered if she should have heard him at all.

"Jumped-up fangirl."

She whirled into a crouch and lunged, her voice returning in a guttural scream, hand curled into ineffective claws, indignity and hated and red red rage filling her mind and body, screaming for the blood of her tormentor. Her hand came around in an arc, nails out, knowing she could never kill him but desperately swearing she would scar him at the least.

He caught her hand without effort. His other arm shot out, grabbing her by the hair and tearing out several strands as he jerked her forward, until she came to a stop, forehead thumping solidly on the metal plate of the protector over his own forehead, her right eye to his left, the whirling red pinwheel spinning, engulfing her vision.

"What is the lesson you need, Sakura," he asked, with the same cool tone.

She panted, dangling in his arms. She wanted to bring her knee up and crush his stomach, his family jewels, his throat...

She wanted to bring her other hand into play, to slash at his face, to rip that damned mask off, to rip out his throat with her bare hands...

She wanted to pull a kunai out of her bag, stab his hand, his arm, for daring to stop the justice of her attack, to plunge it into his chest, his gut...

She wanted...

She wanted...

"... Control," she breathed, barely pushing it out through her throat, tight as it was in her fury. Her face blazed red in shame, her jaws ached from how hard she was clenching her teeth, but at the very least, there were no more tears.

He dropped her and stepped away, and to her credit, she did not stand. Far from it, she pulled her legs under herself and sat properly, nettles digging into her shins and knees. It took her nearly a minute to still her breathing, and when she unclenched her fists, her nails came away with blood underneath them from her palms.

Kakashi sat across from her, nettles digging into his shins and knees, hands open and resting on his knees. "Sakura," he said, his tone now carrying a touch of his old warmth, "before we begin, there is one thing to understand. You have not been removed from the team. As you may have guessed by now, that whole thing was a test, and yes, it went very poorly for you." She shuddered at his words, tears flowing freely, residual anger and shame warring for her mind.

"You are no victim, Sakura. You cannot ever claim that these outbursts are uncontrollable, or acceptable, or necessary for your fighting style. Any of those excuses are garbage. When you get angry, it is your fault. When you lash out at me, it is your fault. When you try to strike a civilian child for speaking back to you, it is, undeniably, your fault." He watched her body shake as the adrenaline left it.

He took a deep breath and let it out. "That said, you are also not completely to blame. You have been training with the Inuzuka, who are famously vicious fighters who also famously tend to be loose, if effective, cannons, and who use their emotions as a source of strength, letting their inner animal out to fight. Furthermore, when the team was formed, I did receive files on the medical status of my students. I am fully aware that you are beginning to... change." He coughed at this, slightly put off, and was glad to see she did nothing but blush slightly at the comment, rather than the grievous assault he would normally expect. "Control becomes harder. In normal teens, this means bad choices, bad misadventures, and bad stories to tell some day to their own children, because they have the luxury of a world where errors in judgment are not deadly."

He rested his hands on her shoulders and gave her what he hoped was a stern yet friendly look, such as the Hokage had often given him. "You are not justified, and you are not to blame, Sakura. I am proud of your efforts to gain strength and become a true shinobi, and the lengths you are going through to get there. But learning how to fight as an Inuzuka is always a struggle between animal instinct and human control, and you've learned far too much and too quickly to adjust readily."

"Do I need to stop training with them?" she asked, eyes shut, disappointed but accepting.

"No."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thankfully, you're not inherently violent or uncontrolled. This is not a biological problem, or an upbringing problem. It is a learned trait, and what you learn, you can unlearn, mostly through practice. Naruto, please come out."

The clones came out of the surrounding trees, ten in all, tentatively, as if they wanted nothing to do with this. _I told them, not the original, what was going to happen,_ thought Kakashi as Sakura looked around. _That way, he could not give himself orders to the contrary. Just in case._

"Sakura, your training for the day is simple. Do. Not. Kill. Any. Clones." He stood, hands on hips, looking down at her again. "That is your only goal, and it will be hard, because these clones are ordered to do their best to infuriate you through any means necessary just short of permanent injury, on pain of having the original removed from the team for disobeying a direct order."

After a moment's pause, held a hand out to her. She took it, arm shaking, and he helped her stagger to her feet. "Make no mistake, this is a serious task before you," he said lightly, smiling behind his mask. "I've seen you two interacting before." Sakura let out a small laugh, shaky as a leaf in the wind, but a laugh none the less.

"Yes, sensei," she whispered.

He held out his hand, and she took back her forehead protector, staring at it briefly before tying it back into place. She looked up at the clones surrounding her and nodded, a little of her old fire entering her eyes. "I am ready," she said, even as Kakashi vanished from the clearing.

* * *

Sasuke looked like hell when he walked into the house that night. His face was red and peeling in places, like a terrible sunburn. His lips were cracked and bleeding slightly, and his hair was slightly singed in a few places, giving him a cologne of burnt human hair that dominated his surroundings.

He turned to Naruto and grinned just slightly to see the blonde looking as bad as he felt. Naruto was covered in bruises in spite of his unusually strong healing ability, and he was holding one of his arms oddly, clenching it tightly to his chest. Sasuke suspected it had been dislocated at one point.

"You look like shit, Dobe."

Naruto grinned back. "You look and smell like it, Teme, so I'd be quiet, or Sakura's gonna..." His voice dropped out as he saw the front door open, and Sakura walk into the room, followed by ten clones. Naruto and Sasuke shared a look, and the look said, _We had a good day._

Sakura looked awful, just awful. She was covered head to toe in mud and filth, nettles and thorns. There were many, many places where she was bleeding from those thorns. Her hair had gone from a untamed mane of pink to a ungodly towering tangle of pond scum and sticks, leaves and all. But the worst was her eyes. Her eyes looked like she had been crying all day, red and puffy and painfully sallow at the same time. She looked around the room with her emerald eyes glittering. They lingered on Sasuke for a moment, then on Naruto. She turned to the clones, who were shuffling behind her, eyes down. "Dispel, please, one at a time," she said, turning back to the real Naruto, looking him in the eye.

One by one, they dispelled. Naruto examined their memories. That one had called her forehead, like he had seen Ino do. That one had asked her on a date, once per minute, for the entire time. That one had deliberately wound nettles and sticks into her hair. That one had picked her up and bodily dunked her in a pond. That one had... snapped her bra against her back whenever she had turned away from him.

_I'm dead_.

Naruto's face flamed as he received the memories of the clones and the terrible things they had done to her. It was like a 'Best Of' reel of the things Sakura hated him for, and things he would never do to any girl, never mind one with a love of violence. _The kind of reel they play at a funeral_, he thought. _Poor Naruto, he had a good life, cut tragically short..._

Eventually, all the clones were finished. Sakura started walking forward, one ominous step at a time. Naruto was rooted in place, terrified, and even Sasuke stepped aside as she passed near him. She reached out her arms, her scratched, filthy arms, and draped them around Naruto's neck.

She pulled him into a hug.

Naruto stared over her shoulder at Sasuke, mouthing silently at his other teammate, '_what do I do?'_ Sasuke shrugged in return, hands and arms out, just as confused.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," she said quietly, hugging a little tighter. Naruto raised his arms and gave her a small pat, high on the back, his other hand hovering, unsure what to do in the madness that had become his world. "I'm sorry I hit you all the time," she said. "Sorry I was so mean to you, sorry... sorry I deserved that... so sorry..."

Some laws of the universe are unbending, and the Law of Narrative Causality is one of them. Thus it was that Kakashi chose that moment to walk in the door, to find Sakura clinging to Naruto, covered in filth, and with no clones in sight. Tazuna was with him, and with all the tact of an old man in love with trouble loudly shouted out, "Wow, so they're a couple now!"

Naruto flinched. Sasuke flinched. Kakashi flinched.

Sakura let out a snore, out like a light.

And all was right with the world.

* * *

"Promise, Kakashi-sensei, she told the clones to release right there in front of me. All ten were there."

Kakashi looked at Sakura, who, after some difficulty and more than one amusing moment watching Naruto try to find a safe place to put his hand to support her weight, was now in bed, still covered in filth and leaves. She looked tired, drawn out... but she was also smiling in her sleep.

"And she didn't attack them, in any of your memories?"

Naruto shook his head. "She yelled a lot at first. Especially when I..." His mind froze in reflexive terror, refusing to permit himself to speak of the dreadful snap of elastic. Kakashi raised a worldly eyebrow to new heights, and Naruto backed up, arms crossed. "No way. Don't even tell me what you're thinking, because whatever it is, so much nope." He turned away from the dreadful eyebrow. "Anyway, she spent most of the day crying, really. I think that was right after one of my clones pointed out that she earned it."

Kakashi sighed. "You never indicated what you meant when you said that, did you?"

"Huh?"

"She thinks you did it because of how she treated you in the past, not because of Inari."

Naruto looked down at her sleeping form, at her wrecked hair and ruined cloths and red rimmed eyes. "Not even if she did earn it," he said quietly to himself, and Kakashi nodded, satisfied.

"I'll clear that up with her in the morning," said the jonin, waving Naruto out of the room. When they had both stepped out, Kakashi closing the door silently behind them. "We'd best let her sleep," he said quietly, leading his genin down the hall. "Now that we have that sorted, we need to talk about your clones..."

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes: **I suspect most of the readers might know, but for those who do not, **Yamato Nadeshiko** is essentially the traditional ideal of Japanese womanhood, with an emphasis on the appearance of weakness outside of one's family while having the strength to carry on in spite of the challenges of life. Essentially, Kakashi is commenting in how Sakura is trying to act demure and in a respectable manner in the face of her certain punishment for stepping out of line, and considering how she normally acts, he is mentally calling bull-feces on the act.

Oh... about the Whaet Fleaks. In watching the show, I follow the assumption that food in Naruto's world follows largely non-western food trends. Here, at a trade port, cheap cereal might be the best thing to be had, the experience of new food is often amusing to write, and frankly, I'm a terrible, terrible person who loves dumb jokes. If even one of you groaned to yourself when you verbalized the mangled food name, I consider my duty done. That's Naruto for you. Sometimes, the jokes are terrible.


	11. How to Find Your Real Opponent

Kakashi watched the mist with mild indifference.

It had started first thing in the morning on the second day, and a quick check with his sharingan had shown it to be laced with chakra. He'd spent nearly an hour watching the mist, waiting for a threat to appear, and then had a quiet laugh about it and relaxed.

There are two ways to deal with threats, as a predator and as prey. Predators were focused, constantly scanning their surroundings for danger and opportunity. Most shinobi were predators, and when pushed, would spend more effort on paranoia and desperate searching than it was worth. A common technique to use against a shinobi on guard duty was to give them an overt but confusing threat and let them tire themselves out trying to figure out what was happening.

Kakashi understood how to be prey as well as predator. Prey animals, he observed, did not become more focused when threatened; they became less focused. Instead of moving their vision from point to point, searching for the danger, they let their perception loosen, trusting their senses to warn them when something changed in the new and dangerous environment they were in. Meanwhile they went about their duties, keeping fit and keeping rested, ready to act in a moment.

The mist was not nearly strong enough to block his regular vision, and certainly not strong enough to conceal a trap, save for the inherent trap of tiring himself out staring at it with his sharingan, burning chakra uselessly. In the end, Kakashi stayed close to Tazuna while the man worked, calmly keeping his one eye focused on his book. Tazuna and his workers noticed Kakashi's lack of concern, and while a few started to get jittery, most of them continued their duties undisturbed.

Now appearing for the fourth day in a row, the mist had returned. And as he had every day, Kakashi gave it his full attention for a while, because while one common tactic against shinobi was exhaustion, another was complacency, and he preferred to not die a death that would have Guy mocking him at his funeral, thank you kindly.

After a few minutes without any sort of threat appearing, Kakashi pulled out his book again.

* * *

In the forest, Naruto had collapsed.

On the first night after Sakura's punishment, Naruto had demonstrated what he had come up with, and was pleased when Kakashi had approved several tactics that, while basic, might be effective in an emergency. He had sent Naruto back out, stick in hand, and told him to use his clones to practice fighting with the false blade. "This is a good chance to see if you have talent in that direction," he had commented with a smile, "and you might come up with a few more tactics."

Naruto had in fact come up with more tactics, and each night he and his team discussed them, as assigned. Unfortunately, his restless nature had gotten the better of him finally, after days of observing, and he'd engaged his clones in a spar. He'd won, but the last one had landed a solid blow to his head that made his ears ring, so he lay on the grass, staring at the sky and waiting for his healing to kick in.

_Damn if this thing isn't useful_, he thought to himself, raising his hand to stare at the sunlight streaming through his fingers. I may not like it, I may not want it, but it is helpful for training. _Thanks, Kyuubi_. There was a brief moment where he felt something stir in the back of his mind, like a whisper without words or meaning, but it faded as his ears caught the sound of feet shifting, ever so slightly, on the grass behind the trees. He closed his eyes and let his hand drop, stilling his breathing. He heard more rustling, felt the earth shift slightly as the steps approached, and still he remained motionless, refusing to tense up as they came to him. The stranger paused for some time, leaning over him, then knelt by his side. "You may as well get up," said a soft, feminine voice. "You're no good at pretending to sleep."

Naruto opened his eyes and looked up at the lovely young woman who was kneeling next to him, unblemished skin and smooth, silky hair shining in the sunlight. "Who are you?" he asked, still lying on the grass, "and how would you know?"

"I've worked as a nurse," she said with a smile. "I see a lot of people pretend to sleep, especially around time for medication." Naruto smiled back, watching the eyes of the woman across from him, then darting his gaze slightly to one side to signal one of his clones, hidden in plain sight by posing as his backpack. The clone released quietly to feed him some interesting memories.

"You may as well give it up," Naruto parroted, sitting up with a smirk. "I saw you with your hands over my throat, and you were hardly this friendly when you approached. You're a shinobi too, aren't you?"

The lady froze, uncertain, then looked at his empty hands. She smiled sweetly, a genuine smile, and said, "Sometimes, yes. But today, I am just a nurse, picking herbs for a friend to help them heal." She stood and held out a hand to the younger ninja. "Would a truce be okay, just for now? I'd like to know a little about you, the ninja who lets an opponent approach without fear or fury."

Naruto smiled and took her hand with a small blush.

* * *

"Why are you a shinobi, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked, surprised at the question. They had been picking herbs quietly for a while, one herb at a time, because while it drove him mad not to use his clones to speed things up, he was mindful of Kakashi's warnings about giving away his strengths. This was the first thing she had said to him after the truce.

"I want to be acknowledged. Where I grew up, I was an outcast. Everyone but the Hokage seemed to hate me." He made a fist in one hand. "I cried, and nothing changed." He made a fist in the other hand. "I played pranks, and nothing changed."

He looked at his hands, clenching hard enough to go white. He took a deep breath, and released them. "Then, I became a ninja, and things changed. My sensei acknowledges me, even though he says I have a long way to go. So does my old teacher." He smiled and laughed at the memory of all the lectures he suffered through, remembering the small smile he always got from Iruka afterwards. "Even my teammates respect me some. If I earn my goal, my respect, by being a good ninja, I guess there is nothing else to do but become Hokage, so they all will acknowledge me in the end."

The girl giggled, causing Naruto to blush brightly. "What's so funny?" he grunted.

"Nothing," she said, her laugh carried all the way up to her eyes. "You're just so earnest. So outgoing. I can appreciate that."

Naruto shrugged and picked another plant. "So," he said casually, "what about you?"

The silence was complete. He looked up to see the woman staring at him, frowning. He shrugged and plucked another plant. "You don't have to say," he said quietly, "I was just wondering why you were here, on the other side of me and my team, when you seem like a good person."

"Do you have someone precious to you, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded.

"When a person has someone precious to them... that is when they truly become strong. My sensei found me as a child, starving and alone. He took me in, in spite of the trouble, the inconvenience. I owe him my life, and it is his to spend. He has a dream, like yours, and I will follow that dream, even to the death."

She stood, basket in hand, and gave Naruto a short bow. "I'll not ask you to quit. I would never ask you to give up on your dreams. But forgive me, when the time comes, if I am forced to harm you."

Naruto jumped up and laughed. "I forgive you already, even if I'll totally win, lady."

"Good," she said, some of her cheer coming back as she turned and started walking away. "I hope your future is bright. I hope you get strong." She let out a giggle and looked over her shoulder. "Oh, and Naruto?"

"Eh?"

"I'm a boy."

"Whaaaaaaat?"

* * *

Sasuke looked up from the water, staring into the forest, where he heard Naruto shouting. But the shout was not one of alarm, so he scoffed and turned back to his practice, and the three fish he had managed to tag so far, one at a time.

* * *

Sakura never even heard the shout, lost as it was to the sound of splintering wood under her feet.

* * *

That night, Naruto retold the story to his companions.

"So, is this where it really starts, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura was covered in bruises and cuts, and her hair was a patchwork of nettle and thorns and sticks, as it had been every night since her punishment. She cleaned it each night, and each day, she returned to the dark depths of the woods for her practice.

"I think so," he replied.

"No."

The entire table turned to Sasuke, who was sitting with his arms on the table, fingers tented in front of his mouth. The effect was somewhat ruined by the medicated rag he held to his lips, but nobody present begrudged him that small comfort after seeing the burns.

"You have an idea," Kakashi said. He had a few of his own, but this was, ultimately, a training opportunity for his cute little genin, so he wanted to hear them out first.

Sasuke glanced at Naruto. "Dobe, you said the other shinobi seemed pleasant enough, even when he admitted to being our foe?" When Naruto nodded, Sasuke continued. "Shinobi are not cheap. We already know who wants Tazuna dead. We already know the person in question is a scumbag. We already know that dead people don't generally pay the bills. Hired shinobi who do not suffer from bloodthirst will not fight for free. The solution to our problem is to cut out the proverbial middleman."

"Isn't that a little..." Sakura paused, and thought for a few more moments. She blushed slightly when she realized she was about to protest on moral grounds about killing one man to avoid killing another. That was not an argument any shinobi had the right to make. "I mean, won't we get into trouble if we kill such a politically powerful opponent?"

Sasuke shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "Who's gonna care? If we kill indiscriminately, people get upset, but who is really going to make a fuss about him?" He crossed his arms and glared at nothing. "He lived by the sword. Let him die by the sword."

Kakashi did not move a muscle on his face, even as he cheered for his student on the inside. "There is one problem." Everyone looked to him. "We have no contract. Shinobi are not cheap."

Inari's chair thumped against the floor as the boy rushed away from the table. Kakashi was worried at first that he'd dropped the hint a little too hard, until the boy ran back, set his chair upright, climbed on it, and held up a small ceramic pig. With much ceremony, he spiked it onto the table, smashing it to shards and revealing a child's fortune in one ryo coins. "How much does it cost to hire a shinobi to kill Gato?" he asked triumphantly.

Kakashi shook his head and smiled. _That's one fish hooked. Let's see who else bites the bait._ "I am sorry, Inari, but I am a jonin, and elite. I have standards to keep."

"I'm a genin, and fuck standards," Sakura said with a growl. She reached out and dragged two of the coins from the pile. "I'll take two ryo, and that's twice the man's worth, as you're obviously so rich, Inari-san." She turned to Kakashi, holding up her fee. "Kakashi-sensei, I do not know how to write a legal contract properly, and as the nearest shinobi of authority, I defer to you for accepting contracts on behalf of Konohagakure. Will you help? I offer you half my bounty in return."

He had not expected this. Sasuke, sure, and maybe even Naruto would be willing to kill one bad person to save a town, but he never expected her to take this quite so seriously, aggression problems or no. He cleared his throat and leaned forward. "You're taking this in a very flippant manner, Sakura." His voice held no humor, and his one visible eye bored into her like a drill. "You know what you're agreeing to do, right? Among other things, I doubt our foes will believe you unless you bring a souvenir. That's messy work."

Sakura nodded and looked down at the coins in her hand. "You said it yourself before we left. It's something I'll have to do eventually. May as well start here, where there is no doubt it's the right thing to do."

Kakashi looked at the other two shinobi in the room and arched an eyebrow.

Sasuke shrugged. "Even if we beat the other shinobi, Gato will just hire more once we leave. If we really want to solve the problem, we need to take it out at the source. I'd help, but I am guessing you'll want us to be on guard until she succeeds, and fewer people means less risk during infiltration." Kakashi nodded, feeling a little warm pride on the careful reasoning, then looked at his last student.

Naruto was frowning this entire time, and when Kakashi looked to him, he pouted. "I don't like it. Sakura-chan is going to kill Gato in cold blood, and everyone is okay with that?"

Kakashi sighed. "What do you propose instead, Naruto?"

"We go beat him up until he apologizes!"

The entire room facepalmed in exasperation. Sasuke and Sakura shared a look, and it was Sasuke who spoke first. "I doubt that would work, Dobe. Gato uses violence, murder, and intimidation in his efforts to control the populace. Even if he backed down now, he would only come back later with even more men and shinobi to do the same thing."

"But do we have to kill him?" asked Naruto, still upset.

"Naruto," said Sakura quietly. "When you throw a kunai at someone, what do you expect to happen if you hit? Or when you set off an explosive tag? Or even when you punch them? All these things can kill, that's their very purpose. We're trained to kill. Some day, we all will take a life, even if we try our best to avoid it. If I have to start somewhere, I want it to be someone who is unarguably evil. If someone has to die, let it be those who deserve it, not some tool paid for in blood money."

Naruto gave a small grunt and folded his arms into a pillow for his head. "You may be right, Sakura-chan," he grunted from the folds of his jacket, "But that doesn't mean I have to like it, or go along with it willingly. If I kill someone, how can I be friends with them later?"

Kakashi reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder, causing the genin to look up into his sensei's smile. "Believe it or not, Naruto, what you have said is what makes a good shinobi in the end. Our kind have a reputation as monsters, thanks to some who kill for pleasure, or do so indiscriminately. They become fearful beings, but at the cost of their own humanity. I'd rather that not happen to any of you. Sometimes you will have to kill, but I don't begrudge you for avoiding it when you can, as long as you do so when you must."

Naruto smiled, and gave Kakashi a small nod. "Good," said Kakashi, withdrawing his hand and reaching into his vest, "because I have some plans on how to prepare for Zabuza, should he attack before Sakura returns..."

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Note**: It took me a while to find a solid balance between practicality and sentimentality. As much as it makes sense considering the world they are in, I'd rather not have Team 7 become the next Swordsmen of the Mists and start ripping people apart like tissues. In the end, I am thinking Naruto might end up holding the same place in the group he did in canon, the moral center, the good guy.

I am not 100% sure I wanted to go this route, with Sakura hitting this level of willing aggression, but I feel I did enough foreshadowing to get away with it, and when she gets around to it next chapter, I think it'll do a lot for her character. Remember just because she talks big does not mean she's got it all down. Frankly, no good reason was ever given for letting Gato live in canon in the first place that I can recall. Next chapter should be her infiltration mission, and Part I of the bridge fight, which, I think, will go in a direction you may not expect. It all comes down to defense and how you think of it...

**AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius**: "I had no idea Naruto was such a powerhouse..." To be truthful, I have no idea how much "power" Naruto has early on, because he is a moron, and the only time he is ever pushed to his limits, it is physically, not with his chakra. Take the fight on the bridge in canon, when he and Sasuke are trapped. Naruto makes a half dozen duplicates, and then tries to charge out with them. Why not just make so many that it becomes impossible to keep up, henge half into Sasuke, and run amok till they escape? Instead, he takes hits to chakra points by trying to run out without enough cover. I am operating under the assumption that those hits are the only reason he would ever stop spamming low power clones by the hundreds.

**fluffpenguin**: "He used the Sharingan and lost?" Remember, the goal of the bell test is not to win, but to see how they fight, and this time around, everyone had a specific purpose that they followed. They used a trap to get him in the air, where most shinobi are vulnerable, as (thankfully) this series is light on "air jumps," then Sasuke does the same thing he tried to do in canon. But this time, he succeeds, as Kakashi's movements are much more limited due to his position and small degree of surprise. Trust me, when we get to Shippuden some day, he is going to rip them all kinds of new ones when it comes to a rematch (and it will come up). As for the Clone v. Zabuza fight, Naruto basically choked him with volume (kinda like how a team of shinobi can take down a stronger foe, the more you have, the harder it is to deal with it all).

**Maxine101**: "... lots of canon knowledge..." Dawww, thank you. I wish. I am literally re-watching the show as I work on this trying to keep things going in a similar direction. Eventually, it'll have to branch off fully, story wise, but that probably won't happen till the Chunin Exam arc, and that's a ways off (after the Wave, they may have their own little adventure, not sure yet, still trying to structure it).


	12. Ninja Diplomacy

Sakura managed to make it to Gato's office before she encountered any problems. Gato's security was built around defending against mobs of civilians, not against a lone competent shinobi, especially one small enough to fit into tight spaces and athletic enough to get to the hard-to-reach areas. The security at night was that much worse, because Gato did not have any sort of official security system or patrols, which meant that most of his men simply congregated into a single room on the bottom floor to play cards.

The door guards fell for the simplest distraction, a rock thrown outside their field of view. Instead of sending one member out, or calling the disturbance in to be checked by another, both guards had simply wandered casually into the darkness. She had considered taking them out, but Naruto's reluctance, and Kakashi-sensei's acceptance of it, made her leery of killing guards, especially those who held no threat to her. She slipped into the door, _they left the door unlocked,_ and started making her way up, under the probably reasonable assumption that Gato's office would be the highest one.

Security inside was remarkably simple as well. A few lone guards patrolled each floor with flashlights, and rather than making methodical sweeps and looking closely at places large enough to hide in, they just walked around in case they noticed something. At one point Sakura had ducked behind a coat rack, certain she would be clearly visible behind the thin obstruction, but the guard had passed not even a foot in front of her and never so much as twitched.

Sakura made it to the top floor, opened the door to Gato's office, and found that she was not the only one who noticed the security holes and had decided to use them. A pair of thugs were gathered around a wall safe behind Gato's desk, listening closely as they tried to find the combination to the lock. One was facing the safe, but the other had his ear to it, and when she swung the door open, his eyes began to widen.

Her kunai entered his skull hard enough to make a clicking sound when the point tapped the safe door on the other side. His compatriot managed to turn, his arm dropping to his sword, but that only resulted in him catching the second blade with his throat instead of his skull. He released his sword and grabbed at his throat desperately as his life flowed between his fingers, leaving himself open to a third and unarguably final blade to his forehead.

Sakura held her breath, listening carefully. After thirty long seconds, with no sounds of alarm or alert, she relaxed, calmly shut the door, walked over to the corner of the room, pulled aside the leaves of an office plant, and puked as quietly as she could into the planter, her entire body trembling.

_They were thieves,_ she told herself as she heaved. _They were thieves, and a danger to my mission. I could never have trusted them to be silent, and I had no time for anything fancy._ She let the tears flow rather than trying to hold them back and risk sobbing, desperately wishing she had brought her bag so she could rinse her mouth with her canteen.

Eventually, the adrenaline shakes ended and the crying stopped. She pulled herself together to get her job done. The bodies were moved under the desk, the blood cleaned as best she could, and the window unlatched and quietly teased open. She then crouched in the corner of the office, behind what little cover the potted plant could give her, and waited for daylight.

* * *

"You got the plan down, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded cheerfully.

Kakashi was a little worried. The plan for dealing with the enemy shinobi relied a great deal on Naruto, and in things that could not be trained in mere days. Kakashi's plan was to fight his foes with his mind more than his body, and for all his cute little genin's perseverance and strength of character, Naruto was not famed for his intellectual prowess. _Still, it's not like I haven't seen him do something very similar back in Konoha._

"We'll be fine," said Sasuke from the kitchen table where he sat, his meal untouched. His hands were clenched together on the table, and Kakashi saw those hands tremble slightly before they tightened that much more. Sasuke's smile, however, felt genuine, and his eyes sparkled as he looked at his teacher. "If it comes down to it," he said with a smirk, cracking his still slightly charred lips, "we can always use his clones for cover to escape and come to you for aid."

"You gave Naruto... the thing?"

Sasuke nodded, and Naruto pulled back the collar of his shirt and coat to demonstrate.

Kakashi nodded to his students, then waved at Tazuna and took off. Behind him the young shinobi grinned and started to put the plan into motion.

* * *

Kakashi stood at the edge of the bridge, peering into the mist nervously. Something felt off about the day, and he was full of adrenaline and processed baked grains, a queasy combination. He idly twirled a kunai on his finger and turned to look at Tazuna for the fifth time in the past hour. "Everything going okay?"

Tazuna grunted, partially in irritation and partially with effort as he lifted another stone and slid it into place on the edge of the bridge railing. "Yes, the same as it has been, so quit..."

Kakashi was by the bridge builder's side immediately, sensing something was wrong when the old man went quiet. They both looked out into the still waters surrounding them, then down. The water level below the bridge was dropping rapidly, the currents and eddies drawing the water away into the mists. Then they heard the sound of rushing waves.

Kakashi didn't wait for the attack to arrive. He grabbed Tazuna roughly, tossing the man onto his shoulder with a grunt, and jumped as hard as he could. Even as he began to rise in the air, a huge wave flowed out of the mists, crashing into the bridge with enough force to sweep everything into the water below, from their lunch to the crane used for the heaviest of work. The bridge itself shuddered and groaned under the impact. When Kakashi landed, there was nothing but the very stonework of the bridge and the water around it. From the mists, he heard a laugh, a sinister chuckle that echoed and changed positions rapidly.

"You're not fooling me this time, Kakashi," said Zabuza, stepping out from the concealing mists. He stood, sword still on his back, shaking his head and laughing.

Kakashi didn't bother to talk. He tossed the kunai still in his right hand, and then lunged forward, following the thrown blade as fast as he could with a second blade ready. Zabuza turned slightly, catching the thrown weapon in his left hand. He then caught Kakashi's right hand with his own, pulling the gray-haired shinobi to one side, then casually threw the captured blade into Tazuna's chest.

Tazuna vanished in a puff of smoke.

Far from becoming furious, Zabuza laughed even harder as Kakashi stood, leaving the second kunai in Zabuza's hand. "Stop, please," the missing-nin said between chuckles. "I know that you must be another clone, so spare me the bad act."

Kakashi stood up straight, and after a moment, he nodded. "How?" he asked, his voice confused but polite.

"I have been watching the bridge each day, observing both Kakashi and the bridge builder. The real Kakashi acts alert for a short amount of time and then ignores the mists. You, Kakashi, act too nervous. An obvious ploy to try and draw me out. I am shocked your clone would make such a mistake."

Zabuza began to walk forward casually, blade still on his back. "As for Tazuna, he drinks like a fish, and yet his clone has yet to take a sip from their bottle. He also cusses a lot more than the clone did when he is working." He stopped, just out of arm's reach, and beneath his cloth mask, Kakashi could see him smile.

"The real Tazuna isn't here, is he? He's back home, quietly relaxing under your guard."

Kakashi was silent, but even silence could be telling at times. Zabuza laughed, then shook his head. "You're right, that's too obvious for you. I've been reading up on your history in the Bingo Book. Kakashi, Master of the Double Bluff. The Mystery of the Thousand Jutsu. Shogi Master Kakashi. Sharingan Kakashi. Titles you have earned, I see. No, back at home is too obvious. Which makes it an even chance, I am guessing"

Kakashi bit his tongue, and regretted it immediately when Zabuza's eyes began to sparkle.

Zabuza walked past the clone, certain, then paused and turned slightly. "My own little student is scouting the forest around his home, watching for your genin to show up, possibly while escorting the target. If he finds them, which I am sure of, he'll deal with the bridge builder." He spun the kunai in an idle motion, an open mockery of the clone's own actions earlier, his mask stretching from the wide grin on his face, then he raised his arm to throw.

"Still, you are known to double bluff, a great deal in fact. So I think I'll pay the house a visit anyhow."

He threw the dagger.

* * *

"Shit," said Naruto, landing on the next tree in line and waving at Sasuke. The black-haired boy landed with a grunt several trees down, doubled over from the weight of the bridge builder, then jumped back. When he landed, Naruto leaned in. "Zabu noticed the fakes at the bridge. He has eyes everywhere, it seems."

Sasuke gave a silent nod and waited.

A slight whistle, barely audible, announced the arrival of a trio of senbon. Sasuke turned away, shifting Tazuna as he did so, and took all three on the arm with a hiss. He dropped to the ground below and released the old man, then straightened when Naruto landed next to him.

Naruto looked around carefully, wiping sweat from his face nervously, then whispered, "I'll go left, you go right, we'll find them all in the middle, right?"

Sasuke nodded, and in the middle of the nod, lashed out with a fast kick, striking Naruto in the gut. The blonde stumbled back, clutching his stomach, and glared at Sasuke. "Your impersonation is weak," said Sasuke, tucking his hands into his pockets. Behind him, Tazuna turned and ran behind a tree. "As hard as he works, I've never seen Naruto sweat, and he's too stupid to get nervous over a handful of senbon. He knows as well as I do that we've got two opponents, and one is at the bridge. And his grasp of tactics is so bad that when we planned out this little session, every one of the plans involved him running straight at the nearest opponent." He shrugged and gave his foe a sharp smile. "Well, all but one."

The fake Naruto stood and released their technique, revealing the hunter-nin Naruto had reported on earlier, the one he had talked to in the forest. "Admittedly, under those circumstances, I performed poorly. I should have guessed some, if not all, of those things. But if he's not already on me, then where is he?"

Sasuke grinned, his eyes glancing just over Haku's shoulder before refocusing on the missing nin.

Haku turned, impossibly fast, arm raised to throw... but there was nobody behind him. He gasped as he followed through with his turn, desperately willing his body to move faster, arm still ready to throw, but in the end, even his speed was insufficient, and he turned back to Sasuke just in time for the mass of sand strike him in the face.

He screamed as the coarse cloud of particles spread into his eyes, his mouth. They burned where they touched him, a searing pain without real heat. He threw his senbon where he knew Sasuke used to be and jumped to one side, ripping off his mask and rubbing desperately at his searing eyes, but if anything, the pain intensified.

"I'd stop rubbing, if I were you," said Sasuke from one side. Haku threw another handful of senbon blindly, then stumbled over something on the ground and fell. Sasuke's voice had already moved, and his tone was both sinister and cheery as he explained. "It's ground glass, seeped in capsaicin, mixed with salt." _I keep a handful in each pocket now, and thanks for that little trick, Kakashi-sensei,_ he thought, dipping his hands back into his pockets. He dodged another wild senbon throw, then shook his head as Haku continued to rub his eyes. "Surrender, and I'll get our sensei to help you out. That dust can cause permanent damage if you don't take care of it right."

"Never," said Haku. With one hand, he threw more projectiles... and with the other, he made a sign.

Sasuke turned quickly, dodging the throw and looking around. A small dome of ice, sectioned into small panes like a mirror, was rising from the ground, surrounding him. He crouched, ready to jump out, but Haku started tossing countless senbon in his direction, fast enough to block his leap, and by the time he found the timing of the throws, the dome was closed.

"I may be blind," said Haku, backing into one of the mirror clear ice panes, "but I don't need to see to hit you from within my Demonic Mirror Ice Crystals Dome." Sasuke charged, but Haku had already entered the ice, and from all around him, Sasuke could sense incoming projectiles. He turned away, sharingan activating as he did so, and started spinning rapidly and gracefully across the circle, taking a few hits but avoiding any truly deadly injury. He bore each strike quietly, minimizing the sound he made as well as he could, waiting for the chance he needed.

Then his trusty eyes caught sight of Tazuna, charging at the mirrors on the other side of him, his hands raised in the Snake seal. Sasuke smiled and started preparing his own surprise.

* * *

Kakashi was waiting patiently, with several copies of Tazuna gathered behind him, when Zabuza showed up at Tazuna's home. He was largely unchanged, wearing nothing more than loose pants, arm warmers, and the sling for his giant blade. Kakashi waved cheerfully, then held out both hands, palms out. "Any chance we can have a chat first?"

Zabuza laughed, but he also drew his sword. "So talk, then. I'll be good for a few moments before I slay you."

Kakashi stepped out, palms still raised, and approached without the clones. "You know, Gato is probably going to betray you. And barring that, he certainly won't pay you. He has quite the reputation."

Zabuza paused, and theatrically raised his finger to his mouth in contemplation. "I never thought of that. Thank you, wise Kakashi, for warning me about the nature of those who hire nuke-nin for dirty jobs." He hefted his sword to his shoulder and shrugged. "How can I ever repay you? Maybe a very close hair cut?"

"Ha ha. Seriously, Zabuza. You won't win this. As smart as you may be, I've been preparing for this for a week. None of my kids wants to kill you over Gato's fake promises, and to be honest, I dislike the idea myself. You're far too effective to be wasted like this."

Zabuza grinned under his mask, then set his blade, point down, on the grass. "Hatake Kakashi, listen well. You know my history, I am certain. You know what I am, what I did, what I killed. And you know what a stain my homeland is on this world. I am going to change that. I am going to kill the Mizukage and every last one of his allies. I will cleanse Kirigakure with a tide of blood. And to do that, I need money. I will do whatever I must to achieve my goals. Sacrifice any pawn, slay any innocent, and crush anyone who stands in my way. And that would include you, Kakashi."

"Then step away from this fight, Zabuza." He stepped forward, just within reach, hands still up. "Konohagakure is not above hiring others outside the village, especially effective fighters and leaders. Join us, and we'll gladly pay for your efforts, and give you a chance to prove yourself as a leader. If you really want to destroy your foe, you need strength and money to do it, and you can get more of both with us than against us."

Zabuza paused for a moment, his cheerful, bloodthirsty grin fading away under his mask. Instead, he looked worn, tired. "I do wish Haku had a better home. Someone so young should not suffer as I did, as I do." He took a step forward, dragging his blade in the dirt behind him. "Can you really provide that for us? Somewhere to rest?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Very well." Zabuza raised his sword and hooked it to his back. "We will yield, in exchange for your promise of money earned and rest taken. Give me a moment to contact Haku."

Kakashi nodded and turned away, feeling slightly put off. _I can't believe that worked. I've never seen a nuke-nin with that much common sense._ Kakashi knew he was unusual. In a world dominated by flashy techniques and excessive blood feuds, Kakashi had no interest in fighting beyond his immediate goals. Rarely did he meet a shinobi who was willing to set aside their own hubris, even for their own benefit. It might almost make one believe in hope for a better world.

Then his one visible eye widened. Zabuza wore very little in the way of clothing, and had no visible pockets or bags on his person.

And he wore no radio.

So how could he contact Haku?

Behind him, blade shining in the sunlight, Zabuza smiled as he silently swung the sword. The weapon bit deep into Kakashi's side, even as the gray haired shinobi spun away in a desperate attempt to dodge. Zabuza roared with glee when he saw the blood on his blade, the blood leaking out of Kakashi's side. _Finally, the real Kakashi is in my grasp!_

"Stirring speech, Kakashi," he said casually, walking towards Kakashi as the man backed away. His voice rose into a mocking falsetto. "Give me a home for my poor little minion, please, oh please." He swung his sword, a huge overhanded blow, and laughed as Kakashi desperately tried to scramble away.

"Did you not hear me call them pawns, Kakashi?" He swung his sword, making Kakashi jump again, then spun into the attack to kick the man in the chest. Kakashi fell and landed face down, spraying blood from his mouth onto the dirt. Zabuza kicked him again. "Did I not say I would do anything?" He kicked Kakashi one last time, flipping the man into his back. He raised his sword high. "I'd do this if Haku was between us, even." He brought the blade down.

It stopped, halfway down. Zabuza grunted, straining, desperately trying to force the blade to continue, but the clones had finally made their move. Several had attached themselves to him, clinging to the extra long grip of his blade, pressing against his elbows, one in particular having wedged itself bodily between Zabuza and his sword. Near the house, two more copies remained, one shrinking back towards the house, the other standing still and glaring at the nuke-nin.

"I'll get you yet, Tazuna! Run, you rat, I know which one of you is real now!"

Zabuza removed one of his hands from the handle, ready to start smashing clones, but froze when he saw Kakashi raise his own hands, his fingers blurring through several seals before ending with the Snake. He blurred slightly, substituting for the distant copy of Tazuna, which appeared with an angry look in its eye and its hands still in the Snake seal. Zabuza snarled, even as the clone started to hiss loudly.

* * *

_"You gave Naruto the thing?"_

_Sasuke nodded, and Naruto pulled back the collar of his shirt and coat to demonstrate. Kakashi could see, just barely visible, the edge of the explosive tag._

_He was leery of giving Naruto such a tool this early, but when they had made this plan the other night, he had made its uses quite clear. Tools duplicated with a shadow clone worked just as the original, so long as they held no chakra at the time, which suited Kakashi just fine when it came to exploding tags. He'd had a long talk on safety and usage with Naruto, and was fairly sure the boy would never use the original tag while it was attached to him._

_Fairly sure._

* * *

The roar of the two explosions reached the town nearby, making windows shake. Sakura, standing next to the office door, smiled tiredly. Gato had no particular hours he kept, and she had been waiting for some time for his arrival, but if anything might get him to hurry up and get to his office to direct his men, it would be that.

She steeled herself as she heard the shouts, the stomping of many feet approaching. She drew a kunai in her main hand and a bread knife, stolen from Tsunami the night before, in the other. She stood straight and flat behind the door, near the hinges, holding her breath.

The door was opened with some force, swinging wide until it stopped against her sandals, and she heard Gato shouting at his bodyguards to hurry up as he strode in. Sakura exhaled, then pushed against the door in front of her, hard.

In the time it took for Gato to reach his desk, she had the door shut. It clicked almost silently as she turned the lock.

In the time it took for Gato to notice the bodies stashed under his desk, she had already slammed her first kunai firmly into the lock, wedging it into place.

In the time it took for Gato to notice her, the second kunai was already in flight.

Gato never even noticed the blade before it had pierced his skull and ended his life.

Sakura rushed forward, even as he fell. The bread knife flashed in long, quick strokes as she collected the proof of the deed. She wondered at her actions, feeling nothing but a vague unease as she worked, but she accepted the feeling of disassociation gladly. She'd spent the night miserable, alone with nothing but her thoughts and the smell of death to keep her company, and the potted plan had been visited several times as the night wore on. Now, when it came time to finish what she had come to do, she was happy to simply get it done and examine her feelings later.

She stuffed her trophy into the small bag she had tucked in her belt, and as the door shuddered under the blows of the dead man's bodyguards, she leaped out the window, hoping that she wasn't too late.

* * *

Haku noticed the clone too late to stop it. The explosive tag, fueled by the clone's chakra, exploded violently, shattering several of the mirrors and melting the edges of several more, knocking Haku and Sasuke to the ground. Haku cared very little about his broken trap, however, because he heard the second explosion, off in the distance, and realized that his mission lay elsewhere. He raised his hand, drawing forth some of the water from the ice around them, and splashed it in his face, clearing his vision slightly. _It still burns, but I can see well enough to avoid the trees at least._

"I'll leave you here, in this prison, until the fight is over." He raised his hand, and the surrounding ice grew thicker, the panels stretching out, until they formed a thick, icy barrier. He passed through it, and started to jump through the trees.

Behind him, Sasuke smirked and started making hand seals. He raised his fingers to his lips, sighting on the fleeing figure beyond the ice, and blew. A single thin line of fire, no thicker than his smallest finger, flew from his lips. It struck the ice barrier, but instead of flowing around it, wasting its heat and power, the thin blast of superheated air burned through it and continued on unimpeded.

The ice was riddled with imperfections, however, and the distortions from looking through it threw his aim off. Instead of striking the fleeing figure of Haku, it landed to one side, less than a foot away. Sasuke shifted his stance slightly, trying to aim through the hole, but he struck the ice again in doing so, spraying the inside of the dome with fire. He dropped the technique and charged at the small hole he had burned through the ice, sharingan eyes nearly glowing, taking in every detail of that single block. He lunged, fist cocked, and struck just above the hole, where a tiny crack had formed from the heat of his attack.

The ice shattered around him as he stumbled out. He fell face down into the dirt, then pulled himself up. He ran fast as he could for Tazuna's house, hoping that he wasn't too late.

* * *

Naruto looked up sharply from where he was sitting. Kakashi had sent him into town to find a place to hide, and he'd eventually settled on an abandoned warehouse, filled with rotting crates and pallets. He, Inari, and Tsunami had been hunkered down in this building since late last night, alert and prepared.

_Kakashi-sensei was right, _he thought, looking around the warehouse carefully. He could see Inari napping in a corner, his mother holding him lightly and trying to stay awake. _Zabuza went for the family when he learned we had planned for him._ Her frowned as he sorted out his new memories. The memory of Zabuza's cruel declaration of intent surfaced, and he could not turn away from the thought. _He'd do anything. Kill an ally, a friend, an innocent family, anything._

Naruto felt suddenly heavy, like the very weight of the world had landed on his shoulders and decided to stay. He considered for a moment, doing his best to think carefully like Kakashi had taught him instead of jumping up and acting quickly, immediately, whatever it took to make things happen.

_Where can I do the most good, right here and now?_

Then some new memories popped into his head, and he had an answer. An obvious and painful answer. He stood and looked at his charges. "Stay here. I'll leave some clones to defend you."

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes: **Kakashi and Zabuza had an odd interaction. This is because Kakashi, in this story, does have a flaw, a major one, one that will come up regularly. He is an intelligent and reasonable person, and like many of such people, he assumes that others are just as reasonable.

Oh. I recognize that, under normal circumstances, something like what Sasuke has in his pockets would be crippling for a long time. I also recognize that we're discussing a world where ninjas throw fireballs at each other. I chose concept over reality in this case.

**euroteres:** I have changed the summary. Let's see what happens to numbers. FOR SCIENCE!


	13. Bunshinphobia

Zabuza grunted with exertion as he swung his blade at Kakashi, who grunted back as he dodged. Both shinobi were exhausted, and both were terribly wounded.

Kakashi was wheezing with every move, one hand never leaving his side, desperately trying to keep himself together long enough to outlast his foe. He was fairly certain his lung had been nicked when Zabuza managed to hit him, but the damage was not crippling, not yet. But moving too hard and too fast or even breathing fully could quite possibly make the damage worse, and with that in mind, he played the waiting game carefully, using the least amount of effort possible to keep ahead of Zabuza's blade.

Zabuza was no better. His left arm ached terribly from the strain of wielding his sword alone. His right arm, what was left of it, burned with a deep inner fire that slowly and inexorably sapped his strength with each drop of blood lost. His back was dominated by one giant burn that ran from his charred belt to his neck, and that weeping injury was making every breath a torment. Every time he lifted his sword, his entire back cracked quietly, his charred skin oozing that much more.

Kakashi drew his strength from desperation. Zabuza drew his strength from humiliation.

* * *

After the last decoy had detonated and nearly taken Zabuza's arm, Tazuna had fled into his house. Zabuza followed, screaming, howling in fury and pain. In those early moments of the fight, nothing could stop his blade, powered by adrenaline and fury. Each step was accompanied with a wild swing, the heavy blade passing through the front door, the walls, and the tables and chairs of the kitchen in succession. Tazuna ran through the entire house, desperately avoiding each swing with an agility fueled by terror, eventually jumping out of Inari's bedroom window when he became cornered.

He landed, and noting the lack of Kakashi bleeding out in the grass, he turned as Zabuza landed behind him. But he was not afraid. He was grinning, his hand already formed into the seal of the Snake.

Zabuza froze, his eyes bulging in disbelief and pain. "No," he growled, taking a step towards Tazuna. "You're bluffing." Tazuna's eyes darted to his foe's feet, measuring the distance between them, the huge grin still plastered across his face.

Zabuza stared at the man before him, then laughed, a loud howling chuckle that echoed across the waters of the lake. "I'll admit, you ran me ragged. You've likely cost me a literal arm, bridge builder, and it looks like your ninja ally has escaped my wrath as well." He hefted his blade to his shoulder, sweat-covered muscles bulging with the strain, and he nodded. "I'll grant you a quick death for such an incredible fight. But you missed one small detail in your attempt to trick me into sparing your life."

Tazuna froze, eyes wide, a small drop of sweat rolling down his face.

"I can see you're scared that your bluff won't work, something no real ninja would show. You're not Kakashi's clone!"

Zabuza was mid lunge when he heard the sound, a high-pitched chirping noise, and he ducked into a roll, hissing as his own body weight pressed down on his mangled arm. He rose with his back to Tazuna in time to see Kakashi's lightning-shrouded fist hit the ground, blowing a small hole in the dirt.

Then he felt Tazuna land behind him, and heard the dreaded sound of an explosive tag priming.

* * *

Now, the usual grace of a ninja battle had devolved into a slugging match. The same cycle, over and over. Zabuza would make an attack, or maybe two, until his one working arm gave out. Kakashi would throw himself away from the attack, his wheezing getting worse. They would then glare impotently at one another, gathering the energy for another round.

Kakashi managed a small chuckle eventually. "We both know this is a stalemate. We're both waiting for our genin to show up and tip the balance. I would offer to give us both a break, but you'd only try to kill me the moment I showed any sort of trust. So we keep this up, over and over, like a pair of morons in a shonen manga. Sounds like a silly way for us to carry on. Want to take a break?"

Zabuza, crouched over his sword and glared up at his opponent, who was on one knee and ready to jump aside in case Zabuza had gathered enough energy to take another swing. Zabuza's ragged breaths turned into a ragged chuckle, and to Kakashi's surprise, he nodded, dropped his sword, and staggered a few feet away. Kakashi moved away slightly as well and slumped gratefully to the dirt. After a few moments of panting, he pulled out a small tin of antibiotic salve and rubbed it into his wound with a hiss. He then closed the tin, then casually tossed it to Zabuza, who flinched slightly and blocked it with his tattered arm, snarling at the sudden pain.

Kakashi snorted. "If I had anything like that, I'd have left it on the ground while we were rolling around playing Manga Battle. It's an antibiotic, with a mild pain reliever mixed in. It won't get us on our feet, but it'll help a little with the pain, and if you end up winning or this becomes a draw, it might save your arm." He gave a small chuckle and a small shrug, sparing his injured side. "You'll have to find a nice young woman to rub it on your back though."

Zabuza chuckled back at the mental image, and after a moment of thought, he reached out and grabbed the tin from where it had landed. He popped it open with one hand, cracking the tin in half with the effort, and started snarling to himself as he rubbed it into his damaged arm. "You're an odd one, Kakashi-san," he said once he finished, his voice rumbling. "I've never known a ninja to be quite so friendly to a foe who intends to kill them painfully as soon as they can."

Kakashi nodded at that. "That's because I know two things you do not."

That got a snort. "Enlighten me, oh wise one."

Kakashi raised a finger. "One, we're not foes now, even if you don't get that yet. You're not getting paid, ergo, you gain nothing by this fight. Thus, we are not foes."

Zabuza rolled his eyes and waved his good hand for the other shinobi to continue.

Kakashi raised a second finger. "Two, we're waiting for our genin to arrive and finish this fight in our stead. And I know, beyond doubt, that mine will win. At the very least, the two who are with me. The third is busy elsewhere."

Zabuza pointed and laughed at his foe. "My minion has a bloodline limit that is unstoppable. I've never seen him lose to an enemy."

Kakashi gave his own little snort, which devolved into a giggle. "You know all those clones that have been working you over with explosive tags, pretending to be Tazuna, and otherwise messing with you?"

Zabuza nodded, his jaw clenched tight.

"Those weren't _my _clones…"

* * *

Haku landed with a thud against a tree and pushed, lunging back along his previous line of flight with senbon flying out to either side, but the black-haired shinobi he was up against took the poorly-aimed strikes and met him head on, kunai in each hand.

_Damn him,_ Haku thought. He had already tried to recapture his opponent twice in his ice dome. The first time, the shinobi had blown through one of the panes of ice with a well-placed stream of flame, lighting Haku's sleeve on fire in doing so. The second time, Haku had made the panes thicker, but that had proven too slow to be effective, an his foe had simply jumped out before the dome was complete. And as much as it burned him to admit it, without his mirrors, Haku was not fast enough to stop his red-eyed foe.

They met and parted with a clashing of kunai, Haku's speed allowing him to avoid Sasuke's attack, while the sharingan allowed Sasuke to do the same in spite of his slower reaction time. It was a stalemate, and with a final futile toss of senbon, Haku turned and fled as fast as he could for the bridge builder's house, where a second explosion had happened some time ago. His foe shouted in surprise and started to chase, but by then, Haku had enough of a lead to keep ahead of any attack.

After a few moments, Haku landed on a branch some ways away, listening carefully to the sound of his not so distant pursuit, then gasped in shock as the bushes below him parted, revealing his master. He was dragging his blade in the dirt, one arm reduced to a stump. His breath was ragged, his eyes focused only on his feet as he trudged along.

The sound of the genin behind him increased in pace, and Haku knew the boy had seen his master and him. He jumped down and tucked himself under his master's good arm. "We must flee, master. I have you."

The arm tightened around Haku's throat, and a chill went down his spine as his master looked at him and gave him a huge grin, so out of place on such a stern man. "And I have you, Haku," said Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

Kakashi perked up slightly. He could hear the sound of three young people leaping through the trees, and could not imagine any circumstance or combination of allies and enemies that did not indicate he had won. He perked up even more when, from the direction of town, he heard a fourth set of footsteps, slow and almost inaudible.

"I think we're about done here," he said. Zabuza grunted, still leafing through the orange book that Kakashi had tossed him earlier with an outraged expression. He carefully close the book and tossed it back to Kakashi. "I cannot believe nobody ever took up your offer to look inside this book. It was like a window into your mindset, Kakashi-san."

Kakashi resisted the urge to giggle as he rose, if only to spare his side, then, after a moment, he walked over and offered Zabuza a hand. "No hard feelings or anything," he said calmly, looking Zabuza in the eye. Zabuza returned the look for some time, then grunted and took the help up.

Naruto and Sasuke landed on the ground at the edge of the forest moments later, Haku between them. They began to walk forward, even as Haku started to run, hand dipping into pockets. Kakashi noted his student's lack of concern and decided simply moving away slightly would suffice, just in case. He was proven right a moment later, when Haku's hands came out bearing bandages, pastes, and herbs.

"Haku," snarled Zabuza, freezing the young man in his tracks, "you lost?" Haku fidgeted slightly, looking down at his feet, looking for words to say. His eyes widened when he heard Naruto start stomping forward.

"He surrendered, you idiot, on condition of being able to minister your injuries." Naruto was fuming, his face red, his eyes wild. "He was so worried about your life and saving your arm that he stopped fighting."

"After he woke up from the headlock," mumbled Sasuke quietly to Kakashi, who shushed him.

Zabuza looked fit to start attacking anew when Haku stepped up and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Zabuza-san, you risk losing your arm, and you've already lost the pay from this mission. They told me when I surrendered. Gato is probably already dead."

Zabuza opened his mouth to argue… then shut his mouth and looked at Kakashi, who nodded and pointed in the direction of the slowly approaching footsteps. "I… still do not approve of your surrender." He loaded his voice with menace and fury.

"You should," snarled Naruto, stepping up to glare at Zabuza. "Do you know what got him? Not my clone and a tag. Not Sasuke's ice breaking attack. The thing that got him was a simple Henge of you, crippled and unable to flee. He literally put my arm around his shoulders, without even thinking of the possibility of it being a trick. He fell for the stupidest trick ever, out of worry for you."

Zabuza looked down at his minion, who nervously nodded in agreement to the story. "You're an idiot, Haku, and far too soft." Haku nodded quietly.

"Apologize," Naruto hissed.

Zabuza snarled and stepped forward, good arm raised, even against the pressure of Haku holding him back. Naruto snarled and stepped forward as well… his hands formed in the Snake seal. Every person in the clearing froze, nobody faster than Zabuza. "You must be blu…" Zabuza stopped speaking, literally swallowing his words, and looked around.

Everyone looked terrified. Haku was standing, arms out, trying to shield Zabuza with his small, thin body. The little black-haired genin looked concerned, and was staring at the blond with his eyes glowing red, gaze moving as he tried to find a way to stop his teammate. And Kakashi…

Kakashi looked worried, deeply worried. He caught Zabuza's eye and shook his head.

Zabuza lowered his arm. "I. Am. Sorry." Each word was a growl, dragged out from the depths of his soul, a chain lined with glass shards and fish hooks ripped out of his lungs and mouth. "You are soft, Haku. But not an idiot."

Naruto nodded and stepped away, arms dropping, his face going from scowl to smile in moments. He walked away, waving to his sensei, who swiftly cuffed him and lectured him on suicide bombs and why not to use them. Sasuke rolled his eyes and started looking in the direction of the little pink girl who was was approaching, a bag over her shoulder and a tired, grim look in her eye. And Zabuza watched as Haku dressed his wounds, the boy's face slightly pink and a smile fixed on his face, not the slight thing he wore like a piece of clothing, but a genuine smile.

Zabuza sat in the dirt, letting Haku reach his broad shoulders, and thought.

* * *

The small camp in the wreckage of the bridge builder's home was a fairly cheerful one the next morning.

Early on, it had been tense, as Sakura explained her mission and delivered to Zabuza proof that he would not be getting paid by Gato, ever. Zabuza had been furious, but had calmed himself slightly when Sakura had also pointed out that Gato had a large safe in his office… and then pulled out the man's keyring. Haku had looked at Zabuza, then Kakashi, then excused himself to "look for herbs" with Sakura. Nobody was fooled, and nobody objected.

Hours later, they had returned, Inari and Tsunami with them and a veritable pharmacy in hand. They had paid a quick visit to Gato's office, passing easily through what few guards remained. Once his death was known, Gato's men had fallen into fighting and looting. Most of the town had been spared, as most of the wealth of the land had been kept away from the townsfolk. The safe had been filled with money, and more than money, far more. Bearer bonds, property deeds, account information, and an impressive collection of blackmail material had been within. They had looted it all, then dropped by a doctor's office to throw money at him and take his entire stock. They picked up Inari and Tsunami on the way out, and aside from one short and simple fight with a pair of would-be thugs, they had returned unmolested.

Tsunami had been crushed to see the ruins of her house… until Sakura had handed her a small bag and whispered something to her. She opened the bag, her face quizzical, then she quickly and nonchalantly stashed the bag on her person. Inari, for his part, had been quite frightened of Zabuza until the big man had growled theatrically at the little boy only to be silenced brutally by a swat on the back from Haku.

Haku, with some basic medical training, had managed to fix up Zabuza's hand well enough that he could expect at least a partial recovery. Kakashi's side had been worse, but without any major internal injuries, it too was on the mend. He would not heal well in the field, but he was mobile, which was all he needed.

But the greatest surprise for Zabuza was when Naruto had taken the entire haul from Gato's office and dropped it in front of him. Zabuza looked at the pile, then up at the other shinobi around him.

"Sakura already got her pay for Gato," said Kakashi casually, face buried in his book. "None of us were hired to do anything about the situation here, just defend the bridge builder, so we have no claim on it. But those nefarious nuke-nin, they have all sorts of sticky fingers, so who knows what they made off with in the chaos."

Zabuza raised his hand, ready to push the pile away, but Haku's hand closed over his. "We'll do anything to reach our goals. Slay anyone. Do unspeakable things. Accept lucky happenstance disguising well-intentioned charity, even." He turned to the other shinobi and bowed. "Thank you."

Zabuza nodded to his minion, then to the others. "Thank. You." The glass was a little less sharp this time, the fish hooks fewer. He even felt, for just a moment, a little warmth inside, which he assumed was heartburn until much further in the future.

* * *

That night, Kakashi had quietly talked with Zabuza, away from camp. They spoke on several subjects. On how Gato was a fool for his heavy-handed policies. On how, with all of his men running amok, someone offering protection could make a mint, especially if they accepted future payment, with the sudden economic upswing the town should have soon. On how certain people needed experience being a good leader before they took over entire nations if they wanted to avoid the same mistakes that drove them to choose that mission. On how some further opportunities might crop up in the future in another land that famously valued kekkei genkai and other unusual powers, and could always use an experienced shinobi.

Zabuza was up all night, deep in thought.

* * *

"One thing I must ask, Kakashi."

They all stood on the path leading out of town, days later. Kakashi's side had mended enough to travel, and Zabuza had been good to go for a while, but remained on the insistence of Haku. Kakashi turned to look at the two former foes, his single eyebrow raising.

"I've yet to see the real Tazuna. I must know. Where did you hide him?"

Kakashi grinned.

* * *

Tazuna sighed and poked at his food. He was quite tired of ramen, but he was also poor, and Naruto had convinced the shopkeeper to cut him a deal when his clone had escorted him back to the village after the two shinobi in the puddle had attacked.

"Another bowl?" asked Teuchi from behind the counter, grinning.

Tazuna sighed again. He'd even run out of sake.

* * *

**EDIT:** Thanks to Pom Rania, who has now gone over this chapter in an effort to finally stamp out the early installment weirdness *GLUG*

**Author's Notes: **Originally, I intended for Haku to save Zabuza from an explosive tag at the cost of his life… but I felt that I was stretching hard to kill Haku because _everyone_ saves Haku. I found it was hard to force the issue in a way that was not silly, so I shrugged and decided to accept that this is one result that would end up matching a lot of other fics. They'll be back, just don't expect them to be the fluffy love bugs you're used to seeing in fanfiction. People change, but perhaps, not that much.

**euroteres:** Well, the results of the experiment are inconclusive. My initial chapter numbers were within my normal projections. I did notice a lot of long-term gains, but that may have been a result of the time between updates. Myth plausible, as it were.

**fluffpenguin:** I am aware of the traditional glass-filled eggshells, and it was a direct inspiration for that particular tool. Sakura did not grab the money because, frankly, she just killed and mutilated someone for the first time. Under the circumstance, logic takes second place to emotion. Trust me, we'll get to her mindset soon, possibly next chapter.


	14. Decompression

It was a long week before the team managed to return to Konohagakure.

* * *

Kakashi was nowhere near healthy for the trip. Zabuza had come very close to delivering a deadly blow in his attack, and no amount of traditional medical care would heal Kakashi in the short time they had to rest. Haku had no medical jutsu, only basic field medic training. Kakashi's side had started bleeding after only a mile, and they had to stop frequently to rebind his wounds.

Initially, despite his injury, the walk had been cheerful enough. Naruto had been crowing without pause, and rightly so, having finished an easily A-rank mission the first time out of town. He had regaled the others with his every experience, as seen mostly by his clones, at the top of his lungs. Sasuke had managed to smile at a few of the stories, and had told his own tale with some small degree of pleasure, explaining how he had developed his own jutsu (and granting Kakashi his due for encouraging his studies, which did not slip past the grateful jonin).

"What are you going to call it?" asked Naruto.

"What?"

Sasuke looked slightly bewildered at the question. He looked to Kakashi, who nodded slightly. "Jutsu generally are named by their creator, both to give it a name to refer to in conversation, and to have a simple description of the skill, generally for the purpose of making it easier to train future students in it."

"And so you have something to shout out when you attack your foes," Naruto said, shooting Kakashi a cheeky grin. Kakashi had already opened his mouth to correct his little orange genin, but seeing the boy's smirk and the very beginning of a grin on Sasuke's own face, he swallowed his correction and smiled back.

"So, any ideas," Kakashi asked Sasuke.

Sasuke seemed to sink into deep thought, then shrugged to himself and turned to their other teammate. "What do you think, Sakura?" he asked quietly. But even as he asked, his eyes darted to Kakashi, then back to her, signaling the jonin's attention.

Sakura said nothing. Indeed, she did not even react, simply trudging along the road at the same easy pace they were using by necessity, as it was the best Kakashi could do safely. Her silence, after being offered such attention and respect from her crush, sent a large number of warning bells off in Kakashi's head. Even when he stopped walking, allowing her to pass by him, she did not react. Sasuke and Naruto both shot him a look, and he quietly waved his hands down as if calming them. Whatever it was, the middle of a march was not the place to find out.

The rest of that day was made in silence, with even Naruto managing to keep his mouth shut. When they set up camp that night, Kakashi gave each genin a task, and Sakura accepted tent-raising duty with a silent nod. Naruto managed to catch a rabbit by simply using enough clones to make escape impossible, and Sasuke lit a fire and cooked the rabbit fairly well for such a basic setting.

Sakura said nothing during the meal, and ate with a slow, methodical motion that was quite the opposite of her normal, ravenous manner. When finished, she rose and nodded to her team, then turned to her tent… and stopped when Sasuke caught her arm.

"I'll take first watch," he said, not looking away from the fire. "If you need to talk, I'll be outside your tent, and if not, it's as good a place to keep watch as any. Okay?" He turned to look at her, and Kakashi felt a little respect, because real or not, Sasuke managed to look like he cared about her answer.

Something in that look got through to her, because Sakura nodded and patted his hand for a moment before leaving. Kakashi nodded to Sasuke in acknowledgement, who nodded to Naruto, who looked confused at both of them. Kakashi raised a finger to his lips, and Naruto seemed to get that much at least.

The rest of the return home was much the same, silent and calming. Sakura never became chatty during the trip, but she lost some of her grim demeanor, and on the last day she was looking ahead on the road, almost eager to return to town. Sasuke also looked driven, and had to stop himself several times when he started to outpace his teacher. Naruto seemed to vibrate with a degree of inner energy fit to blow him apart into a million little Naruto chunks, which might, when landing, possibly spell out the word _ramen_. Kakashi was fairly certain he saw the boy drool a little.

Finally, they arrived, the great gates open and beckoning. They stopped by the gatehouse to check in, and Kakashi casually slapped a hand on Naruto's jumpsuit before the boy could run off. When Naruto stopped tugging against him, he let go, then stood up straight in front of them, as close to attention as he could get.

"Normally, we would debrief immediately with the Hokage on return, but there are certain provisions in the rules. Namely, we can report in any time in the next twenty-four hours, so long as we check in with the gate guards and we have nothing vital or time-sensitive to report. I will be checking into the hospital, and will take responsibility for the primary debriefing, although you may be retrieved or interviewed by ANBU personnel for your own debriefing at some point in the next couple days. Meanwhile, I have orders for you until I am done healing. Sakura."

She stood at attention. Here eyes were dull, hollow, tired, and her body slumped slightly to one side. Kakashi knew she had slept very poorly during the trip here.

"I would like you to check in with Tsume. Immediately. Let her know about the mission, give her any details she asks for, and otherwise do as she says. She'll likely use this in the future to consider further training, so be honest about it. All of it." Sakura nodded, and for a moment, Kakashi thought he saw a shadow of something in her eyes. He nodded to her, a dismissal, and she stepped back in acknowledgement but remained momentarily to see where the others would be.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke grunted.

"Return home and begin to replace those items expended during this trip. Other than that, rest and relax for now. I'll have some new books delivered to you, probably within a day, with a few things to study for future efforts." Sasuke shot Sakura a quick glance, then grunted and stepped back as well.

"Naruto."

Naruto turned back to Kakashi, drool still hanging from his lips, having spent this entire time staring in the general direction of Ichiraku's. He seemed to realize he was being given an order, and straightened up a bit.

"Go get some ramen."

Kakashi's hand darted out, quick as a snake, and snagged Naruto's jacket, holding the struggling ramen freak relatively still. "While you are there, tell Tazuna he is clear to return home, and that Konohagakure will send him a rate-adjusted bill in a month or so, once the bridge is built and his country starts to make a little more money. After you eat yourself stupid, relax."

He turned to the rest of them. "The same goes for all of you. No training. No D-ranks. Nothing. Relax. Read a book. Watch some clouds. Whatever you do for fun, do it, or find something fun to do," he said, looking at Sasuke, who scowled. "Once I get checked out, we'll be doing enough D-ranks while we look into some more training. This last trip gave me a few ideas." He waited for them to acknowledge him then dismissed them, although he retained his hold on Naruto's jacket while the other two left.

He leaned in, very slowly, and looked Naruto in the eye, practicing the creepy eye thing his colleague Tenzo was fond of. Naruto leaned away, then crossed his arms and glared. "What," Naruto demanded, almost dangling from his sensei's hand.

"I know you're a clone, Naruto," he said, his voice cold and lifeless. "If I catch you leaving without dismissal after a mission again, I'll have ramen banned from Konohagakure." He poked the clone hard enough to dispel it, then let out a weak chuckle and began walking slowly towards the hospital.

* * *

Naruto stiffened in his chair at Ichiraku's, then shuddered when he saw Kakashi's face in his memories. _Where did he get that creepy look,_ he thought to himself, momentarily distracted from his ramen bowl.

"Hey, Tazuna," he called out, suddenly very intent on following Kakashi's orders…

* * *

The Inuzuka clan holdings were situated on the edge of town, close to some of the more tame training grounds. The walls were very short, unlike many clan holdings, little more than chest high for Sakura. Tsume had explained once that their clan would have done away with the walls entirely were they not convenient in keeping the puppies out of trouble.

_One does not put walls between allies, _she had told Sakura when asked about it. _Walls are for foes, or mistrusted neighbors. In the pack, if you cannot walk amongst each member freely and safely, they should not be in your pack._ The Inuzuka had proven to be quite popular with their neighbors, because while they were loud and boisterous, they were as loyal as... well, dogs.

Sakura smiled, just a little, and hopped the wall when she got close enough. In a clan holding filled with humans and animals famed for their strong senses, border patrols and sentries would have been an insult, both to neighbors and to the others in the clan. A howl went up as soon as her feet touched the ground, and they came, claws scratching on dirt and paving stone, jowls slavering in the morning heat, charging her as fast as they could. Sakura sighed dramatically and kneeled, accepting the necessity of the challenge. She raised her arms, ready and waiting.

The pack came around the corner to the nearest home, and the lead, a black and grey hound with huge teeth, was howling madly. They charged, twelve in all, and at the last moment, Sakura raised her arms to defend her face, unsure how they would act with how changed she felt.

Tsume found Sakura a few minutes later, still wrestling with the horde of pups, each no bigger than her arm. She held back, approaching slowly, allowing Sakura to get her giggling under control and compose herself before her pack leader. By the time she arrived within the range she trained all of her pack to acknowledge their leader, Sakura was kneeling, perfectly calm, as was each of the pups... well, except for the one with the lopsided ears, and Tsume had already determined that little one would have to be sold as a pet due to its lack of control.

"Welcome back, pup," she said to Sakura with a friendly growl to her voice. "How went your mission?" She grinned hugely, excited to hear how Sakura's first real mission went, but her grin faded when Sakura's face fell and her eyes became wet. Tsume grunted, giving the little future ninken the order to be at ease, and sat next to Sakura.

"Tell me," she said quietly.

Sakura told her story. She started off in a dull monotone, carefully reciting their trip, and as the story grew, she spent more and more time on the details, until she found herself describing the day she accepted the contract on... the contract for Inari. At that point, her story faltered, and she began to recount pointless details, simply trying to hold off the ultimate point of the story. She got as far as the color of the boy's shoes before she started to break down. She cried, great, shameful tears rolling down her cheeks, unable to carry on with her story. She turned away, ashamed to be breaking down before her master, until Tsume pulled her in close and gave her a smothering hug.

"Don't fight it," the older woman said, holding Sakura gently but firmly. "Let it out."

It took some time, but eventually, the tears stopped, and Sakura felt her pain numbed slightly from it. She sat back up, unwilling to meet Tsume's eyes, and carried on with the tale, finding that, save for the occasional sniff when she got to a more grisly part, she was able to finish her tale.

Eventually, the story was done, and she waited quietly for her teacher to say... something. Anything. She did not know what, but she expected some sort of backlash for her behavior. Tsume merely pulled her into another hug, although this time a shorter one.

"Sakura," she said, smiling, "you did good."

"I killed someone," she replied flatly, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yes, you did. You took a contract, followed through, and killed several people. More importantly, you killed no more than the minimum needed to complete your contract. You did so in the most direct and painless way possible, even when you killed the asshole who started this whole thing."

Tsume gave out a shrill whistle, and in moments, her own companion Kuromaru arrived, sitting down in front of the girls with an air of patience. His dark grey fur was ragged, with one eye and ear long gone, the missing eye covered with an eyepatch. None the less, his single yellow eye stared at them with an animalistic intensity, and Sakura nodded deferentially to the beast. She knew her place in the Inuzuka pack, and it was far, far below her teacher's companion. He was one of the rarest of ninkin, capable of speaking directly to others, and between his intelligence and his strength he was rightly the leader of the pack.

Tsume smiled. "Kuromaru, Sakura here has made her first kills, an evil man who held a nation under his claws, and two thieves who were a danger to her and her pack. Have you anything to say on the matter?"

The wolf in a dog's collar grunted. "Evil means nothing. Nations mean nothing. Thievery? Nothing, save maybe for pride in a theft done well. All of these are human words, for human creatures with human ideas and human foolishness. But the pack, the pack means everything. All who might harm the pack are foes, and woe be unto a foe who challenges your pack now that you have tasted blood. Humans kill for fun. For pleasure. For money. For pride. Dogs kill for one purpose, for their pack. Nothing beyond the pack matters, something you now know. Today, you are not a human, you are a dog, and a good dog at that."

Kuromaru then stepped forward and gave Sakura a small lick on the face, leaving her coated in a bit of saliva and a lot of awe. She knew some about the Inuzuka ninken, and to be considered one of their own kind was rare indeed, even more so for an outsider like herself.

In hindsight, it was a silly thing, but she was at a loss for words at this gift, and so she did the only thing she could think of to indicate her acceptance, her understanding, her place as one of his own. She rolled over on her back, exposing her belly to the pack leader in submission.

Tsume busted out laughing, and Kuromaru grunted. "You don't have to be that much of a dog," he grumbled, if cheerfully. Unfortunately, the tone of good cheer became too much for the puppies, who promptly broke ranks and swarmed the lot of them. They piled on Tsume, and Kuromaru, and Sakura, who smiled and laughed and felt the weight of the human world lift from her shoulders.

Sakura stayed for the rest of the day, playing with the dogs, helping with chores, and otherwise relaxing, relishing the peace within her. Eventually, the day began to fade, and she made her goodbyes to the Inuzuka, only to be stopped by Tsume, who called her into the kennel.

"You remember, when your training began, you asked if you might someday have a dog of your own?"

Sakura nodded, trying not to let the sudden hope show on her face.

"Unfortunately, the answer is still no, Sakura."

Sakura tried just as hard not to show her disappointment, and apparently failed. Tsume laughed and patted her on the shoulder, steering her into the kennel. "Don't be so down. We did vote on the matter, and you did get approval to train in our ways, including having a ninken. But something came up, and plans changed."

Tsume lead Sakura to a corner of the kennel, where the cages were kept for the smallest of the dogs, the newborn pups, only just free from their milk diet. She lead Sakura past several puppies, ranging from white to grey to black, until she reached the very last cage, and stopped Sakura before it.

"We caught this little fellow drinking with a fresh litter. No idea how the thing got in there, but the mother didn't object, so how could we."

Sakura crouched down, looking into the cage, where the little ball of fur could be seen, curled up on itself. It was mostly white, with a series of stripes running across its spine and down its sides in dark grey.

Tsume patted the top of the cage, where a fairly large pile of books could be seen, along with a slightly tattered notebook. "We're the best vets in Konohagakure, and we know how to care for any number of critters. We feed our dogs only the best meat, and our techniques used to maximize growth in our ninken are compatible. But... well, we're dog people." She rubbed the back of her neck, grinning sharply. "Some of our ways are incompatible... and I think some of your ways may not be. So, I gathered all the information I could and got it ready for you, in case you came back and I found you suitable. How about it? Want to try something we've never tried before?"

The ball of fur uncoiled, and gazed up at Sakura with golden eyes.

"Murrrr," the kitten said, cocking its head to one side.

* * *

The next day, Sasuke set down the last of the tools on his workbench and sighed. He'd spent the first day back shopping for food, then at his apartment working on replacing his expended equipment. Midday he had been interrupted by an ANBU member, who took his disposition and then left without a word to spare. Then, in the early evening, a pile of books arrived by courier.

Most of the books were fairly normal, chemistry and biology books geared towards shinobi users. But one stood out, and Sasuke grumbled when he opened it. The book was densely packed with paragraphs and charts, and the cover simply said "Genetics in Human Populations." When he opened it, he found a slip of paper from Kakashi.

_You are well on your way to your first goal,_ the paper said in Kakashi's lazy scrawl. _This may be relevant to the second. I had the bookseller mark a few very relevant passages for you. It may be too soon to take action, but it's never too soon to plan ahead. Good job on the mission. Planning new training. Now put the books and tools down and find something else to do._

Sasuke grunted and put the books away. He was fairly certain the jonin would not be watching him for such a small thing, but he was also fairly certain Kakashi would have no problem getting Naruto to do it for him. Konohagakure's Orange Blur was restless even at the best of times. Sasuke smirked at the thought of Naruto trying to relax for a full day.

A full hour of aimless wandering found Sasuke outside the Aburame holdings. He stood around for some time, listening to the faint drone, which could be heard even outside the edge of the property, which was nothing but an expanse of green grass and closely planted but not impenetrable bushes. Eventually, he took a single step on the grass and waited.

Within ten seconds, an Aburame member leaned into view from behind one of the bushes. He nodded once at Sasuke, then turned away. Sasuke waited, not moving an inch, and within the minute Shino appeared in the same place. He, too, nodded to Sasuke, and Sasuke finally felt comfortable approaching.

"Thank you for not crushing our sentries," Shino said, his tone bland. "Next time, you may walk freely. They have thick shells, and will not be harmed. They will also know your scent and notify us of your presence."

Sasuke nodded and followed his friend into their clan property. The Aburame clan had a much smaller plot of land then many of the other clans in Konohagakure, only a single series of modest houses facing a single large inner courtyard, the rest of their land taken up by gardens, with many hives for various insect species scattered about. Sasuke was not familiar with the clan, but he knew they were a noble clan, and had a modest number of members. In spite of that, the houses seemed very small, and there was nobody in sight.

Sasuke listened to the ever-present hum, then smiled slightly. "You live underground," he said, a statement instead of a question. Shino paused for a moment, unreadable behind his glasses and coat, then nodded. He lead Sasuke to one of the houses, one of the smaller ones, and opened the door to reveal a staircase leading down. Sasuke glanced at the rest of the room and nodded. The house was a fake, perfectly suitable walls and windows surrounding a simple concrete floor with a stairwell going down. Without preamble, Shino began to walk down the stairwell, and Sasuke followed quietly.

The stairs curved around several times and were carved out of the surrounding stone and earth itself, although it looked like it had been preserved somehow. Instead of opening up into a tight, dark tunnel like Sasuke expected, however, it instead opened into a large and airy room, a larger copy of the square above it, filled with a few businesses and some other doors carved directly into the stone walls of the central square. A series of chandeliers with many candles lit the cavernous room, and a single column made of stone dominated the center of the square, easily twenty feet across. Sasuke could see several doorways carved into the stone pillar.

"The central pillar is a stairwell that leads to our residential housing and hives," said Shino, while Sasuke watched the people in the square move about. "I cannot bring you there, they are a clan secret. But you are welcome here, as is any Konohagakure citizen. Few come. Why? Because they find our kinship with insects distasteful or disturbing." Shino walked further into the square, leading Sasuke past several shops selling ninja goods, and a restaurant that buzzed loudly as he passed. Eventually, Sasuke was lead to a small, simple door with no markings save for a small jeweled scarab in place of a doorknob. Shino opened the door by stroking the scarab's back, then waved Sasuke in.

The room was modestly large, lit with standard electrical lights. The walls and ceiling were unadorned earth like the rest of the place, but the floors were covered in thin padding. At the rear of the largest room, Sasuke could see two smaller rooms, one an apparent library, the other filled with workbenches and tools.

"This is my family's private training area, where we work on things not related to our clan techniques or hives. Why? Because some of these things are unsafe for the insects we care for. You are welcome here at any time, with or without me. The door scarab will recognize you."

Sasuke was slightly put off. In that bland wording, Shino had essentially given him access to his clan's work space, a deep sign of trust amongst shinobi. He could not help himself. He parroted his friend's phrase back to him. "Why?" he asked quietly.

Shino stepped forward and raised an arm, resting it on Sasuke's shoulder. The gesture was heartfelt but awkward, like someone who had heard of how to be companionable but never tried it, and Sasuke appreciated the effort if not the result. "I appreciate your company," Shino said in the same monotone as before. "You value silence, a trait that I find is almost singular outside of my clan. I appreciate your presence, even when we have nothing to say. My parents understand this, and wanted me to extend this gesture to ensure you know you are valued."

Sasuke could think of nothing to say, and realized he needed to say nothing. Instead, he raised his own arm and rested his hand on his friend's other shoulder, no less awkward then Shino had been. They both nodded, the moment passed, and they split to wander into the rooms and determine their own projects to follow.

* * *

It took Naruto two days before he ran out of things to do that could not be considered training.

Sasuke and Sakura were off doing their own thing, so Naruto was on his own. He visited Ichiraku's. He tried to read a book, and discovered that the adventure series he had been reading before his latest mission was now painfully boring compared to his own experiences. When the ANBU member had come to take his deposition, he had been quite glad for the distraction, and the reaction the ANBU had to his stories about fighting Zabuza was mildly amusing, mostly in how hard the woman tried not to react to Naruto's pantomime as he spoke.

He visited Ichiraku's.

He wandered around town disguised with a henge, checking prices on things ranging from ninja tools to televisions, and was pleased to note that he might be able to upgrade his lifestyle a little between the A-rank pay he had received and his new shopping persona.

For yucks, he wandered around town as himself to check prices, and while the civilian markets were still horribly priced, he was shocked to notice that the ones selling ninja goods were not only willing to sell to him for fair pricing, but were relatively good-willed in his presence. He made a note to ask Kakashi about it later.

He visited Ichiraku's.

On day three, he woke up and quietly decided to break Kakashi's orders. He knew what he was doing, and knew he was breaking orders, but he suspected that Kakashi would barely mention it, and he could not sit idle any longer.

He sought out his team, but Sakura's parents told him she was busy with the Inuzuka clan on a project, and Sasuke was nowhere to be found. He even tried to find Kurenai and her team in the hopes of some sparring, but in the end even they could not be found. Ultimately defeated, he turned away and did the only thing he could.

He visited Ichiraku's.

This time, though, he had a pleasant surprise.

"Kakashi-sensei," he said cheerfully on seeing his team leader. Kakashi turned on his stool and smiled at Naruto. His side still looked a little stiff, and he was obviously tired, but it was still good to see him outside the hospital.

"Naruto, I knew you would show up shortly. Come, have a bowl on me while we talk about training." Naruto fairly floated to his stool. Free ramen? Training? It was like he was in heaven. But...

"Kakashi-sensei, you still look hurt. Are you sure you can train us right now?"

"No."

Naruto's forehead banged on the counter, and he sighed. Kakashi smiled to himself, then grunted and pulled himself up from his stool. "I won't be able to work with you for some time, first, to heal, and second, because I can't train you in what you need right now."

Naruto looked up at his team leader, perplexed.

"I am a ninjutsu master, Naruto. I focus on low endurance, high power efforts. Quite frankly, I am a low chakra person who just happens to be very good at control. You, meanwhile, are a high endurance brawler who can spray chakra like a fire hydrant and not have to worry about it, comparatively. I am not an optimal teacher for you."

He smirked at Naruto's frown. "Thanks to our previous success with Kurenai, however, I was able to foist off some of my responsibility on another, in exchange for teaching my own specialty. I will be training Sasuke and another student over the next month. Sakura will be training with the Inuzuka during that time on a project she got my approval on. And you? You're going to hell." He stepped aside, pulling back the cloth covering the small, enclosed eating area even as the battle cry feared all across Konohagakure pierced the air.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

* * *

**EDIT: **Hey, look, Pom Rania got this chapter done too. Thanks, amiga.

**Author's Note:** Hardly a shocking twist, but it makes sense, and will make more sense next chapter, where we detail each of their training efforts.

Ultimately, I always felt that Kakashi was a bad match for Naruto in canon. The Thousand Technique Ninja and The Kid who Takes Forever to Learn (Until Kishimoto needed an explanation for his sudden UBERS)? But hey, that's what fanfiction is for.

In canon, the various clans of Konohagakure are not very well detailed, at least not that I ever saw. It is entirely possible that more details are available beyond my limited research options, but in the end, I'm just going to roll with my ideas.

As always thanks for the input and reviews. I was searching around for good fics to read last week, and was astounded to discover that this is actually moderately well read for a relatively new/recent fic. My heart grew three sizes that day, I assure you.

**fluffpenguin:** I originally intended for Kakashi to help Sakura out of her funk, but while I was writing this chapter, I found that using Tsume and Kuromaru was a useful device for character growth and introducing a little more about how that clan is represented in my story.

**kairan1976:** Tazuna was not really forced to eat ramen... but being poor, and knowing he would need to pay for the higher ranked mission somehow eventually, and not expecting to be abroad for so long... well, you gotta eat something. And the discount (paid for by Kakashi) would keep him conveniently located in a place he could be found, if need be.


	15. YOUUUUUUTH!

Kakashi had to admit, he was impressed with Maito Guy's entrance. The green-clad shinobi entered the ramen stand at a reasonable percentage of his normal speed with a full extension flying kick, bowl cut hair blowing in the wind of his passing, teeth sparkling in the sun shafts coming through the privacy curtains.

Unfortunately, Guy was not well know for planning ahead, and the backstop to his kick was not a structurally sound wall of concrete, but a lightly built counter and the heavy but unsecured stove behind it. Guy had politely pulled himself out of the wreckage, and had politely paid twice what the counter and stove was worth, and had politely paid some more when Kakashi pointed out they would be out of work for a few days while they got the new equipment installed.

When they finally exited the stand almost a half hour later, Naruto was still glaring at Guy. "Ahhh!" shouted Guy, striking his Manly Pose #3 With Thumb Extended. "A terrible way to meet you, Uzumaki Naruto, but still, what youthful challenges we shall face together!"

Naruto's anger did not fade, and his glare only became sharper.

"Come now," Guy shouted, sweeping Naruto off his feet and holding the boy up at arm's length, "don't you want to learn new and powerful techniques from your own sensei's incredible rival?"

Naruto continued to glare, his arms now crossed before him while his legs dangled limply. "You killed my favorite ramen stand," he grumbled, his voice deep. For a moment, Guy thought he felt the slightest touch of killing intent from the little genin in his arms.

Kakashi coughed politely from the side, and Guy sighed and set Naruto on the ground. He then reached into his flak jacket and pulled out a one ryo coin, looked at it ruefully, then flipped it to Kakashi. "Guy," Kakashi said, after catching the coin without even glancing at it, "Do you mind if I tell Naruto about the coin? It might help a lot." Guy nodded, his teeth gleaming with the power of his youthful smile.

Kakashi walked over to Naruto and held out the coin. It was a small, old coin, and the etching on it was barely visible, having been worn down by being passed from hand to hand countless times. Even the edges were beveled, making the coin look more like a tiny metal disc then a piece of currency.

"Maito Guy and I have known each other a long time. In that time, we have made many bets with each other, always for bragging rights and this single coin, which is all Guy could spare when we started this tradition. This coin was newly minted when we got it, and as you can see, it has passed between us many, many times. This coin is the key to Guy's power, and I think it'll also be the key to yours, the key to a trait you both share in spades. I made a bet with Guy the other day, for this coin." Kakashi looked at Guy. "What was the bet?"

"You bet that I could not make Naruto smile after meeting him without resorting to tickling or jokes."

Kakashi nodded cheerfully. "And do you see the trap I laid for you?"

Guy nodded in return, his face a picture of careful consideration. "You knew I would try to impress, and would probably enter with one of my youthful Dynamic Entries. You picked the location we would meet, knowing it would be structurally weak. And you then sensed where I was on my approach and opened the curtain, giving me an obvious entrance point, which happened to be directly in front of the counter and stove, to ensure I damaged enough of the place to shut it down. You set it up so that I could never make Naruto smile, regardless of my efforts, because I had already been so cruel to him."

Kakashi nodded, and turned to Naruto, who was flabbergasted at the green-clad madman who wrecked his favorite eating place on a bet. "You have now met the fourth most intelligent man in Konohagakure, Maito Guy, The Sublime Green Beast of Konoha. When we met, Guy did nothing but challenge me to physical contests. Weight lifting, running laps, sparring matches. And when I won, what do you think I challenged him to do?"

Naruto looked at Guy, standing like a statue of muscle, flesh made to stone through work. He could only think of one kind of person who could look like that, a person like Kiba, someone who was all force and little thought. Yet Maito Guy did not seem to be a meathead at all. The answer became obvious.

"You made him read a book, didn't you?"

Guy laughed and gave Naruto a thumbs up. "Books, shogi matches, logic puzzles. Whenever Kakashi reached my level in body, he forced me to reach his level in mind, and together we rose higher, powered by our youthful competition!"

Kakashi just shook his head, then raised his hand. "It's my turn to bet, I believe."

Guy nodded, eagerly.

Kakashi held out the coin, then closed his fist around it. "I bet you cannot scare me with anything you teach Naruto over the next month." He placed the coin calmly in his pocket, then raised his fingers to plug both of his ears, causing Naruto to frown in confusion.

"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" shouted Guy, taking his Manly Pose #1 with Arms Up and Ready to Go, his shout echoing off the surrounding buildings and causing Naruto to slap his hands over his ears. "At the end of this month, you shall face a foe you shall fear, and it shall be Naruto! Come, Uzumaki, let us begin!" Guy grabbed Naruto's arm before the boy could object and started to run. "We start by going shopping!"

_I forgot to say no green track suit_, Kakashi thought with a sigh.

* * *

"Kakashi did not tell you what we would be doing, did he, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head and picked at his cloths. Guy had insisted that they buy Naruto a green jumpsuit, identical to his own, before they retired to a distant and quiet training ground. A series of wooden posts were scattered about the grounds, apparently at random, and the whole location was surrounded by trees.

"Kakashi has given me a report on your skills, but I would like to see for myself." He reached into his vest and pulled out a kunai, tossing it lightly to Naruto. "Please create ten clones, and throw that blade, and only that blade, at a single target."

Naruto shrugged at the command. He chose a target, one of the posts far from his new teacher, then created ten clones. He counted to three, out loud, and they all threw at once. Eleven blades thudded into the post at various heights.

Guy walked over to the post, chin in hand, and looked closely at it. He then took one of the kunai out of the post and studied it. "I predict this is the original. Dispel the clones, please." He looked closely at the blade in his hands, and when it vanished with the clone who had created it, he looked delighted.

"All of your tools work this way, Naruto? They all continue to work, just as the original, until you dispel?"

Naruto nodded again.

"Excellent!" Guy reached into his vest again and pulled out a small scroll. "Kakashi mentioned you had shown more than a little interest in learning how to use a sword in the past. Is that correct, Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes fairly sparkled as he nodded, his face breaking into a huge grin.

Guy smiled back, his teeth as sparkly as Naruto's eyes. "Then I have a gift for you," he said, unrolling the scroll to reveal a storage seal. He laid in out the ground, as Naruto began to hop in place, leaning over to see what awesome weapon he would get. Guy pressed his hand to the seal and released it, to reveal…

… a stick.

Naruto froze, then slowly toppled forward to land face down in the dirt. "I should have known," he mumbled before pulling himself back up.

Guy picked up the stick, nearly a meter long, smooth and straight as a staff. One end was wrapped in cord, a basic handle sized for two hands, and on the other was etched a single word, "Grit." He held the stick out by the uncorded end towards Naruto. "Tomorrow, you shall begin training, with the aid of my own protege, Rock Lee. Today, you shall instead train with me. You have one goal! Strike me with your stick, using no clones! Begin when ready!"

Naruto grabbed the handle of the stick, and Guy let go. The stick immediately fell to the ground with a thud, burying itself almost an eighth of an inch into the dirt.

"Shit," said Naruto, grabbing the handle with both hands. He managed to get the stick up with both hands and set it on his shoulder, staggering slightly under the weight. "How do I fight with this? And what is this, it weighs way too much to be wooden!"

Guy laughed. "That is a training sword. I made it long ago, when I started learning to use swords myself. By putting chakra into the wood through the mark on the end, you can increase its weight. I would not have increased it so far for you, but Kakashi tells me you have unusual stamina, so we need to push you hard to test your limits!" Guy crouched slightly. "Now, hit me! When you can hit me, just once, we will move on to your next step in training!"

* * *

Guy looked at Naruto, who was sitting on the grass, relaxing and cooling down. His face was cheerful, but not nearly as cheerful as he wanted it to be. No amount of smiles could possibly indicate how he felt.

Guy was not a fool, doubly so when it came to training. He had expected Naruto to spend about ten minutes at most trying to swing the training sword at him before he would start reducing the chakra in it. He planned on giving an explanation on why he used such weights, gaining speed and muscle in exchange for pain. He'd even had some of his Shinobi Strength Tiger Balm ready for the inevitable pain.

But Guy witnessed the impossible, the inconceivable.

Naruto just kept going.

Naruto would charge and swing his stick haphazardly as fast as he could. After a few minutes, his arms would start to droop. When that happened, he would stop and think about what to try next for no more than a minute, and in that time, his strength would mostly have returned. Guy could see that he was diminished ever so slightly at each pause, but at his current rate, Naruto might well have to stop for food before he had to stop for lack of strength.

Guy rejoiced on the inside, even as he told Naruto to take a half hour rest, even as he ran all the way down to the corner store across town that carried his favorite protein enhanced, vitamin loaded Extra Spicy Curry Carries, and when he ran back with extra container in hand for his new student, he wept small, manly tears to find Naruto swinging his practice sword, again and again, just for the sake of something to do while he waited. He had finally found Lee a sparring partner!

Oh, how he cried out in joy for this youthful treasure! This wondrous young man with the flames of youth and his heart and a desire to work! And once Naruto stopped finding his comments disturbing, he really started to take a shine to Guy's Philosophy of Youth!

"Remember, Naruto, only through hard work can we become strong!"

"Yes, Guy-sensei!"

(In his room, Neji's eye twitched, and he looked out the window, as if looking for storm clouds on the horizon...)

"Remember, Naruto, only through the Fires of Youth can you find the strength to make one last repetition!"

"Yes, Guy-sensei!"

(At Training Ground Three, Tenten paused in the middle of trying a jutsu and looked around warily, as if she was being hunted…)

"And always remember, Naruto, that green jumpsuits make the best sort of clothing, both simple to care for and fashionable!"

"Yes, Guy-sensei!"

(Relaxing by a tree, watching Sasuke and Tenten, Kakashi reached out to take a sip from his canteen, then suddenly found himself making a fist, crushing the heavy metal container in his hand, and wondered why.)

Guy and Naruto sat in the grass. Guy tossed Naruto one of the Curry Carries, and opened his own. "Remember, Naruto, carefully balanced, nutritionally complete food is all you need to fuel your strength, but spice is life!"

"Yes, Guy-sensei!" Naruto opened his own container and took a huge bite.

In his room, Neji relaxed. In the forest, Tenten shrugged and returned to her practice. Kakashi unclenched his hand. And Naruto immediately refused to ever emulate Guy again while he emptied his stomach into the bushes, over the sound of Guy cheering him on for such a youthful expulsion.

* * *

The next day, Naruto arrived at the training ground, practice sword on his back, to find two Guys waiting for him. One was the right age, as he had expected, but the other was much younger, only a couple years his senior. Same jumpsuits, same leg warmers, even the same haircut and eye color. Naruto jumped to a logical yet incorrect conclusion.

"I didn't know Lee was your son!"

Guy and Lee laughed, although Lee a little less so. "Lee is not my son, Naruto. After Kakashi forced me to take the DNA test, we are certain." Guy's face became serious, and he turned towards Lee, his teeth sparkling. "But even if he is not, I could not choose a better student to pass down my knowledge then Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

Naruto stared at the two of them, shouting and holding each other. He was young, but not so young to not understand certain facts of life. _The shouting? Not so bad. The identical appearance? A little iffy. The inexplicable view of the sun setting on the horizon in the background as they do it? It's official. They must be a couple. _Naruto inched just slightly away as the display continued.

Guy coughed slightly as the two of them wrapped it up. "Sorry, Naruto. I know how the young think, and to make things clear, no, we are not a couple, yes, it's okay you find it slightly disturbing, and no, we won't stop doing it."

Lee nodded. "It looks weird because all true companions look weird when truly comfortable with themselves! When we hug, there is no discomfort of two men who are not attracted to one another worrying about the other's attraction! It is a manly hug of friendly understanding! Join us and discover how it feels!" Lee reached out at Naruto, his teeth already beginning to sparkle, when Guy smacked him on the head.

"No! Remember, Lee, manly and unashamed hugs are only for those who want them freely! To force our ways onto others would break the very companionship we seek!"

"Of course!" Lee pulled out a notebook and began to write as Guy approached Naruto. He checked the weight on the training sword, pouring some more chakra into it as he did so, then nodded to himself. "Like yesterday, your goal is simple, Naruto. Strike Lee with your sword, just once, without clones. Unlike yesterday, Lee will be allowed to defend with blocks and his own strikes. When you can hit Lee regularly, we will begin your proper training in the art of the sword." He turned to Lee, who was putting away his notebook. "Ready, Lee?"

"Yes, Guy-sensei!"

Guy stepped back, smiling as Naruto raised his weapon.

"Begin!"

* * *

It took Naruto three days to hit Lee the first time.

The entire first day, Lee had simply fled, and Naruto had chased him. Whenever Naruto would tire, Lee would dart in and strike at him. Naruto tried to swing the training weapon when Lee did so, and failed completely to hit his target, his arms straining to swing the now much heavier stick.

"Guy-sensei," shouted Lee after a full hour passed, "Should you not lower the weight a little?"

Guy shook his head and watched.

By the end of the first day, Naruto was filthy with sweat and tired. And just out of his reach, panting, hand on knees, Lee waited for Naruto to move. Every time Naruto took a shaky step forward, Lee took one back. "I do not understand how we can progress, if he cannot possibly recover, Guy-sensei."

Guy shook his head, and called the training done for the day,

By the end of day two, Lee was staggering away, while Naruto was only slightly shaken by his exhaustion. At the end of day three, Naruto dragged himself off the ground after a ten minute breather, walked over, and tapped Lee on the shoulder with the sword. Lee slipped backward to lay, trembling, on the grass, and Naruto joined him.

"Excellent," said Guy, smiling. He stood over the two boys, arms crossed, teeth gleaming. "Now, Naruto, I have one question to ask you, before we begin proper training." He sat down next to the two boys, who managed to drag themselves to a sitting position. Naruto looked tired, but enthused.

_Kakashi was right,_ thought Guy, watching as Naruto's breathing slowed quickly, _his ability to recuperate quickly from injury makes his very effective when it comes to physical training._ Muscles damaged themselves in use, and most people had to rest for some time to allow them to heal after reaching the point of exhaustion. Naruto healed in minutes from such small injuries, allowing him to train constantly so long as he avoided major injury.

Guy reached into his vest, and pulled out a coin similar to the one he and Kakashi had traded for so many years. He held it out, gripped carefully on the edge between thumb and index finger, and looked at it as it shined in the sun. "Why is the coin important, Naruto? Lee already knows this lesson," he said with a smile at his miniature genin clone, who was staring at the coin intently. "Why do we bother with this coin? One ryo is hardly worth any challenge, I should think."

Naruto looked at the coin while he thought. _It's not the money_, he said to himself. He imagined the real coin, well worn and well used in its purpose for years. He thought about how often they must have exchanged it, over and over, each one competing hard to send it back to the other. Naruto could not fathom how a one ryo coin was worth being motivated about.

It hit him then, and he smiled. "The coin is not worth it," he said, forgetting his exhaustion long enough to jump to his feet, pointing at the green-clad jonin. "The coin is pointless! It's just like betting your next breath of air, or a sock, or a stick!"

Guy laughed and nodded. "Exactly, Naruto! The coin is just a convenient token to represent our bet. So why do we bother making a bet at all?" Naruto looked confused, and sat back down. He was quiet for some time, his face drooping slowly as he struggled with the question.

Eventually, after he had fully recovered his breath, Lee raised his hand. "Guy-sensei, I think I should help Naruto-san in this, because he will never get it himself. This is not because he is unintelligent, but because he already knows instinctively. It would be like seeing the forest for the trees." Guy nodded in agreement, and Lee turned to Naruto, who looked unhappy at his comment.

"The bet gives Guy-sensei and Kakashi-san motivation, Naruto-san. They do not care about the coin, except as a token of exchange for motivating each other. They challenge each other so that they can rise above the challenge. You, who are already motivated, would never guess that others might need motivation for themselves."

Naruto nodded, understanding. Guy was not nearly as calm. He lunged off of the ground, arms raised, thumbs out, teeth sparkling. "Exactly, my glorious student! Because with the proper motivation, the fires of our youth are boundless!"

Naruto sighed, and waited for it.

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

* * *

Learning proper sword technique takes years, even with the aid of shadow clone training.

But the terms for the bet with Kakashi said nothing about form or style.

* * *

It took only a few additional days for Guy to test Naruto's capabilities, procure a set of practice blades, and train enough of the very basics to prepare Naruto for future training. During that time, he worked with Naruto personally to minimize risk of injury to Lee, who watched with mild interest between his own exercises.

At all times, day and night, Naruto had his clones reading books on sword care, books on stances and techniques, books on legendary swordsmen and women, books on how to defeat sword users. Each day, Guy had him try a new stance, a new style, until he ended that effort with a grin and explained that he had found the right style for Naruto

"You are no expert," said Guy, on the last day of full, day long training they would have. Guy was already dedicated to continuing to train Naruto in weapons technique, but he had his own team to teach, so they would be reduced to one day per week. "You never will be either, Naruto. True swordsmen must dedicate their lives to the sword, and that tends to lead to shinobi with a very narrow focus. Remember the fight you had with Zabuza?"

Naruto nodded.

"When his arm was damaged, he continued to use his sword. When his remaining arm grew tired, he _stopped fighting_ rather than drawing a kunai or dominating Kakashi with his bare hands. Can you imagine how lucky Zabuza was, that he managed to trick Kakashi before losing that arm? Can you imagine Kakashi making the same mistake?"

Naruto found himself agreeing after he considered it. Kakashi had been gravely wounded at the time, so much so that Naruto had expected him to die. A shinobi of Zabuza's strength could have simply overpowered his crippled foe, but _only if he thought about it first. _Naruto resolved himself, then and there, to never grow so attached to his weapon that he could not pick up another. He looked up into Guy's face, and saw him nod, gently, as if he could see that very resolution written on his face.

Guy reached into his jacket and pulled out a scroll. "Kakashi-san authorized me to make a purchase on your behalf, using some of the remaining funds from your mission to the wave."

Naruto sighed at that, but only a little. He had planned on getting a few things with that payoff, but Kakashi had insisted he spend only a tiny portion of the pay he received, and now he knew why. _Maybe I can replace the broken television still_, he thought as he reflexively caught the scroll Guy tossed at him.

His confusion only increased when he unsealed the scrolls, revealing two very plain looking swords, crossed over a small book. The swords were two and a half feet long, hilt to tip, the blades apparently straight and thick to judge by the shape of them. Each was sheathed in cheap wood, with a matching handle poorly wrapped in cheap leather, and without any sort of cross guard. Several small metal studs could be seen through the leather, poking out of it to form a slightly molded grip. He opened his mouth to complain, then looked at Guy, who was watching him carefully with a small smirk on his face.

Naruto became suspicious and pulled one of the swords partially out of its sheath… then stopped and stared. The blade was made of steel, and Naruto knew enough from his studies to know it looked like good steel, but the single edge was bright and silvery, shining in the sunlight. He raised the sword slightly and looked closely at the edge. The silvery metal was not steel, and had been carefully folded to cover only the edge. Naruto pulled the blade out in full and saw that the silvery material ran along the entire blade. A quick check of the other sword showed the same silvery edge, although he did not draw the second fully.

"The case and wrapping is terrible on purpose, to hide the quality and value of the sword," said Naruto. "That has to be Kakashi-sensei's idea. But what's with the weird edge?"

"The edge is made of a special metal, taken from the rarest of finds, a fallen meteorite. When treated properly, the metal can be infused with the user's chakra to great effect. Do not try to do this just now, we'll handle that training later."

Naruto nodded and continued to stare at the sword in his hand while Guy held his tongue on the rest of the information. The metal for the blade's edge had come from the Hokage himself, and only when both Kakashi and Guy had petitioned for permission to seek some out, for the star iron was a very precious and limited resource. "With his chakra reserves and shadow clones," Kakashi had said at the meeting, "Such a weapon could well make him one of the most dangerous front line fighters in the world when he becomes fully trained." Coming from a man as infamous as Hatake Kakashi, that was quite the compliment, and the Hokage spotted it.

The Hokage had agreed, and even donated the metal from his own family's vault, but insisted that Guy and Kakashi claimed it as a gift from themselves. Guy agreed completely with him. The village may not react favorably to find that the Hokage gave such a gift to the village pariah, even if it was from his own pocket.

"Only the edge is made of this material, for it is a rare thing indeed. The book details how to maintain the edge, using a chakra technique instead of the normal methods, because to lose any of this metal to a sharpening stone would be a terrible waste. Until you master that technique, you will not use these swords. Sealed further in the scroll is an identical pair, sharp, but without the lining."

Naruto's face fell. He lightly cut his thumb with the blade, having been taught that a sword should not be drawn without being used least it turns on the owner. It was a silly myth, and yet Guy taught that myth deliberately to encourage the idea that drawing a weapon means bloodshed, one way or another. Naruto wiped the tiny drop of blood off of the sword carefully, sheathed it, and laid it back on the scroll. "I cannot afford this, Guy-sensei, and I won't take money from you or Kakashi." He was looking down at the swords as he said this, and Guy could see the pain in his eyes at giving up such a gift. "You two already support and train me. I can't take anything else from you."

Guy stepped forward, and laid his hands on the blond's shoulders. "Naruto," he said, without his customary smile, "this is a gift, indirectly, from the village. Kakashi and I went to those we knew had the metal, and asked for the smallest bit of it. Those who gave, gave willingly, sometimes enthusiastically. With these weapons, your chance at survival, at success, becomes that much more likely, and those who gave know this. You paid only for the work needed to craft a normal blade and then add the metal, which was costly, but within your budget. There is no sensible reason to refuse this gift."

_That's technically correct,_ thought Guy, as Naruto's eyes grew watery and his face began to beam in a huge smile. _The best kind of correct._ Then Lee grabbed Naruto with a loud whoop, tossing him in the air and shouting about the youthful challenges ahead, begging for spars, and otherwise being the bright star of fiery youth that they both knew, and Guy started to laugh.

* * *

Naruto stood ready, and at Guy's direction, went into the training kata he had learned the previous week, a series of practiced slashes designed to work as a whole, like a dance. Guy called out another, and he swapped into it, not without flaws, but each stroke was true and fairly accurate. Guy nodded, and called for a rest at the end of the latest set. "You improve slowly even with your clones, Naruto, but you improve. And more importantly, you seem to have a much better grasp on how a sword works. Now, I will teach you how to fight."

Naruto stomped his food down. "I thought you were doing that all this time," he shouted. Guy chuckled, and shook his head. "Grab your practice blades," he said. Once done, Guy nodded to Lee, who knew of this plan and had prepared. "Make four clones, and attack Lee using what you know so far. You may not have more than four clones at a time, but you may replace them when lost."

Naruto made his clones, and as one, they charged, as one group. One stopped in front of Lee and began his first move, only for Lee to leap directly over that clone and attack the clone furthest away from his initial starting point. That clone flinched, instinctively bringing one blade down at Lee, only for Lee to step to one side and kick the clone under the arm, dispelling it.

The remaining three clones turned, the nearest one launching into a different kata, both blades windmilling in a careful sequence of vertical cuts, but the whistling steel did nothing to stop Lee, who ducked in to one side and landed a single punch.

The next half hour was more of the same. Naruto would make clones, clones would launch attacks, and Lee would crush them. Eventually, one of the clones dashed in, arms raised in one of the many tried and failed katas… and when Lee started to move, that clone dropped all pretense of careful, choreographed attacks and simply made the best attack it could. The blunt blade tapped Lee lightly on a bicep, the barest of touch, and Guy called the spar.

"How did Lee keep away from you so long?"

Naruto frowned. "He acted like he knew what I was doing."

"I did," said Lee, his breathing evening out even as he spoke. "Katas are an important part of being a full swordsman, but they are intended to make those moves reflexive so they require no thought, allowing you time to think of how you will defeat the foe. This works excellently in organized sword fights, but against a real foe, it can be dangerous."

Guy nodded. "Naruto, unless you specialize, those katas will never be effective enough to justify their use for you, because you already have a way to get time to think. You make more clones." He grinned, and Naruto grinned back. "Your clones can think for themselves, allowing them to think on the fight at hand, and for you to think on the battle as a whole."

Naruto sat in the grass with a grumpy grunt. "Why did you have me learn all them, then?" he demanded.

Lee sat down next to Naruto and offered the boy a canteen. "It's like any other training, to teach you what you can do. You know how much the swords weigh, how easy or hard it is to move them from any point to any point, and how hard you can hit, all because of those katas."

"Besides," said Guy, "Kakashi mentioned that you were a natural brawler, good at improvisation. Trying to force you to be orderly would be foolish of us both. There is something far more effective you can be trained to do…"

* * *

**EDIT:** Pom Rania got this chapter edited too.

**Author's Notes:** Much like the source, I have no desire to explain what Naruto will know before it comes into play. I will leave it to be a surprise which will come up during the Exam arc.

**Tremblers: **As you guessed, it would make no sense for the Inuzuka to do the "Cat" thing... which is why they didn't. Never fit a round peg in a square hole. As for shipping, while I agree wholeheartedly with you (I've actually seen some genuinely good, non-explicit Kakashi x Iruka before…) I can only imagine the hate I'll get once any ship of any sort sails in my story. I giggled when NaruHina became canon. I imagined them sailing the seven seas, Canon Cannons armed, sinking every ship they come across. I imagined them approaching the HMS NaruTachi, looking across the waters at the red-eyed, brooding Uchiha, as he silently mouthed the words "I don't get it either." Almost wrote that as a fic, just to see the fireworks.

**Kairan1979:** Thank you, I was rather proud of the Shino/Sasuke friendship idea. It struck me that both seem to prefer peace and quiet, and for some reason, I've never seen it once in a fic, which turned it into a personal challenge. As for regretting Guy's training of Naruto, we'll see. Can't change Kakashi without changing those he interacts with…

**spiritwolf35: **Thanks for the vague homophobic post. Stay tuned, in Chapter 28, the NaruTachi sets sail. Nothing says lovin' like dude buns for the shovin' amiright? That said, thank you for trying to steer my fic with the ringing endorsement of "I guess I can check this story out," followed by immediately warning me of losing your patronage should I dare to pair Naruto with a male. Thanks to you, Naruto loves the D like Dumbledore. Believe it!

Seriously, though, normal readers, promise, pairings will be whatever makes sense to me as determined by canon, as altered by the base premise of this fanfiction, neither of which generally says much about sexual orientation. If I have a good reason for a pairing, regardless of gender, then it'll happen, because of good story, not because of hawt mansecks or whatever.


	16. Cats are Not Dogs

Sakura spotted the problem almost immediately.

Kieri, her new feline companion, did not like her. At all.

It was the small hints that tipped her off. The cat poop in her bed. The suspicious smell of ammonia in her shoes. The shredded wardrobe. The complete unwillingness to follow any order whatsoever. Kieri would deliberately and even gleefully disobey Sakura in the most spectacular manner it could, no matter how politely Sakura gave the order.

It would wait for her to eat, then jump on her plate. When she shooed it away, it would turn to go, then stop, look her in the eye, and tip over her water glass. At one point, it clawed at her leg as she walked by its cage, casually shredding the edge of the one dress she had that was not wet and smelling, again, suspiciously of ammonia, an old one from the back of the closet that was far too tight in the shoulders to be comfortable.

Ultimately, she had to leave the cat in its cage when not working with it to keep it out of trouble. Tsume had provided her with the cage, a fairly large one with plenty of space, and had given her a manual on crate training. Apparently, Sakura thought to herself on a regular basis, dogs would willingly stay in their cage, instead of fighting tooth and nail to stay out of it.

Tsume had given Sakura a book titles '_Behavioral Reinforcement in Dogs._' Sakura had read it diligently, reading about the differences between positive and negative reinforcement, as well as positive and negative punishment. She then tried to apply it to Kieri's training, which proved to be a fruitless endeavor.

At first, Sakura tried to please the cat, using positive reinforcement in the form of cat treats to get her to follow orders. Kieri did not react in the least to the treats… but the next morning the bag was found empty on the floor next to a very satisfied Kieri.

Sakura tried positive punishment next with a little spray bottle, squirting the cat whenever it tried to mess with Sakura's food. That lasted less than ten minutes before Kieri mauled the bottle, and Sakura's hand, whenever she reached for it.

Sakura then tried placing the cat in her cage whenever it acted up. This sad attempt at negative punishment failed just as poorly as the other training efforts, because Kieri would sit in her cage and yowl so dreadfully that not a single person in the house could sleep. Sakura tried to tough it out, and her parents were supportive until the neighbors stopped by at two in the morning and starting yowling back.

Sakura was giving serious consideration in using negative reinforcement next, the application of a negative effect until the subject did the right thing to end it. Unfortunately, Tsume happened to catch Sakura trying to buy the shock collar. She had flat out told the girl that there was nothing short of animal cruelty that could work in that manner, and the look in her eye as she said it clearly indicated that Sakura was not going to be doing that.

Tsume was at a loss, although many years later she wanted to kick herself for not realizing the problem sooner. She had spent most of her life with dogs, training dogs, learning the ways of dogs, and in the end, her previous experience got in the way. She suggested many things, from treats to punishments, cheerful friendly mannerisms to snarly and commanding voices, and all were met with stony glares or mauling by the cat under Sakura's care.

After a week, Sakura was ready to be done. She had spent the entire time trying to get the cat to simply react to her commands with anything but violence and disdain. She had given orders in every tone from sweet and light to shouted demands, and nothing worked. Finally tired of her efforts after her latest attempt, she sighed and sat down next to her disobedient cat. "I suppose you're proud of yourself," she said. Kieri blinked once, but did not look away.

Sakura sighed again and picked up the cat, even as it scratched at her, and set it in her lap, gently stroking it with one hand while keeping it in place with another. "Well, I suppose you'll just have to be a pretty little pet instead of a battle companion," she said as she scratched Kieri behind the ears. The cat purred slightly, causing Sakura to stop. She'd never heard her cat do that, no matter how she tried to flatter or pet it. After a moment, Kieri nudged her hand, and she started petting again. Sakura sighed, but she smiled all the same at her difficult little cat. "I wish I knew what I was doing wrong," she murmured as the cat started to purr again.

Kieri stopped purring, and Sakura looked down to see it staring at her, waiting patiently. _Of course, _Sakura thought with an internal sigh. _Of course it's intelligent enough to understand my language. _She slid the cat off her lap and knelt down to look it in the eye, then asked, "What am I doing wrong? Can you show me?"

Kieri blinked, then trotted away. Sakura waited a moment, then sighed when she heard the food bowl turn over again. The cat was always turning the food bowl over, scattering the carefully balanced and nutritious food Tsume had prepared for it to maximize its growth. Sakura walked into the other room to clean up the mess before her parents commented on it, then stopped to stare at her cat.

Kieri was sitting on the bowl, staring right back at her, and in that moment, Sakura was both enthused and deeply embarrassed. "You don't like the food," she said, not a question, a statement, and she heard Kieri's purr from across the room.

"All right. Let's find some food."

* * *

In the end, Sakura could only think of one way to find what Kieri might like. She brought the cat to a nearby grocery store, carrying it tightly to keep it from running off.

The owner of the nearest shop that might be useful was a middle-aged man with a large bald spot and a cheery grin named Dan. She had visited the store a couple times in the past, and knew the man was a bit of a bookworm, and friendly enough, but beyond that, he was just another person hovering at the edge of her life. His shop was well stocked in meats, however, and she knew from her studies with Tsume that cats were obligate carnivores, requiring meat to survive, so it seemed like a good place to start.

He was very tolerant when Sakura started requesting a small sample of every sort of meat she could find, and became enthusiastic when she paid him a more than reasonable fee for the samples.

Kieri, for her part, was so well behaved that Sakura had trouble remembering this same cat had ruined her cloths, bed, and house. It had hopped lightly onto a small table and patiently watched the grocer as he worked with an air of serious effort Sakura had never seen before. It even purred at him when he brought each set of samples out.

It took a little while for Sakura to figure out what Kieri liked, but a short list eventually was written down on a slip of paper just as the shopkeeper was getting ready to close for the day. "So, what do you want today?" Sakura asked Kieri, half expecting a dull stare. Instead, Kieri walked over to the case and reached up to tap the glass over the chicken and meowed.

The grocer chuckled when he saw that and started wrapping some up before Sakura could say anything. After he handed over the meat, he reached down to scratch the cat behind the ears. "That's a smart cat you have there, Miss," he said as it purred at him. "I wonder if she'd like to pick her own food out in the future."

Sakura said nothing, gazing thoughtfully at her cat.

* * *

After preparing for bed, Sakura picked up Kieri, but this time, she watched closely. Kieri's ears immediately went back, a sure sign of displeasure, and it turned slightly to face her cage. Sakura nodded to herself, and brought the cat over to her bed instead. She set it down next to her, and they looked at each other.

"I'm sorry," she said, reaching out to pat it on the head. The cat purred, then rubbed against her hand. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to use your litter box instead of my shoes and bed if I don't try to cram you in the cage?"

Kieri meowed, and Sakura swore to herself it sounded like a yes. She shrugged and shuffled under her blankets. After a few moments, she felt a light weight on her hips as Kieri climbed onto her and settled down. She stuck a hand out of the covers and scratched the cat behind the ears, and kept scratching as her cat purred and purred.

The next morning, Sakura woke up to find her hand still resting on Kieri's neck. She sat up and looked at the little kitten in her lap, its white fur gleaming in the sun. She gave it a little scratch, and got a loud, pleasant purr from it as it came awake.

* * *

Sakura ate her breakfast in peace, with Kieri sitting on the table beside her, waiting patiently. When she finished, she walked to the door and opened it, then turned back to her cat. "Would you like to walk to the store with me instead of being carried?" she asked politely.

Kieri stared at her for several seconds before walking out the door.

* * *

When they walked into the grocery store, Kieri immediately ran to the owner and meowed. He chuckled and gave her a pat. "What do you want today, little pretty kitty?" he asked cheerfully, and he seemed unsurprised when Kieri ran over to the meat display and tapped on the glass over the beef.

Sakura watched it happen, and nodded to herself. She walked over and crouched down next to Kieri, who looked up at her. "Do you want to pick your own food, all the time?" Sakura asked. Kieri meowed and purred at her, rubbing against her legs.

Sakura left a sizable chunk of money with the grocer, who was deeply amused by the arrangement and yet not particularly surprised. Sakura asked him why he was treating this as normal and got a laugh out of him.

"I've always been a cat person, Miss Haruno," Dan said, even as Kieri rubbed against his legs and meowed for attention. "I understand what they are, and what they are not. They are not pack creatures, and you are not their boss. They are loyal and respectful, but they demand such loyalty and respect in kind, and they are very independent. I am assuming you're trying to make a nin-neko out of it?"

Sakura nodded.

"Did you ask her first?"

Sakura shook her head, and blushed just a little. She noticed Kieri sitting at his feet, staring at her, and she swore the little fuzzball had a smirk on its face. That gimlet stare continued until the grocer distracted it with a pat. "I know a little about those folks who keep dogs as companions elsewhere in town. I am guessing they are big on commands and hierarchy, which is great for them. Dogs run in packs. Cats run alone."

"Maybe you should get to know what it is to be a cat, before you try to train one."

Sakura nodded, mostly to herself.

* * *

The rest of the week, Sakura spent most of her time with Dan when she was not training with Tsume or Kiba on her taijutsu. He was no ninja, and not particularly strong or smart or wise according to himself, but he knew cats, and knew how to teach Sakura about them. So she and Kieri hovered around the shop, talking to Dan between customers, which were few and far between.

Sakura had noticed the lack of visitors, and had commented. Dan had laughed at that from where he was at the time, sweeping the floor near the door. "I have few needs," he said cheerfully, "and no family to care for. My few customers are sufficient to pay my bills and keep my store stocked, and I don't mind hanging about the shop, so I need no hired help. One could say that I live here, and just happen to let people walk into my house and give me money for stuff out of my refrigerator."

Dan told her stories about cats he owned, cats he'd cared for, cats he'd heard about, and cats of legends from several cultures. He taught her to never trust a feral cat, which, having lost its trust in humanity, would lash out even against people who meant well. He taught her to beware when training, because cats were often cruel to their prey. Sakura had opened her mouth to assure him Kieri would never do that, then shut it when she remembered how the cute little kitten had treated the stuffed mouse toy she favored.

Sakura learned that cats were cunning animals under normal circumstances, never mind the smarter ones like Kieri that might be suitable for training. A cat would see a mouse run into a hole, and wait patiently for however long it took for their prey to forget their presence and place themselves within range for a strike. They were patient, stealthy, and quiet.

She also learned that cats vocalized very little except for when they interacted with humans, who generally failed to realize that body language was the language of felines. When two cats stared at each other, the slightest of movements could mean any number of things. She learned the basics, of tail twitches and ear positions, and over time she came to realize that Kieri had been trying to communicate with her as a cat since day one.

"That's probably good for your goals," said Dan when she brought it up. "Means she thinks of you more as a cat than as a human, that you're capable of understanding it or at least of making the effort. That's a sign of respect from you, and one given in return from her."

* * *

"She's waiting for you to ask, you know."

Sakura shook her head and focused on Dan. She had zoned out slightly, sitting in the sun on a bench outside of the shop. Dan had told her to do so for at least for an hour each day, just sit in the sun with her cat. Sakura had not understood the purpose at first, but after a little while, she realized that it was pure companionship. She sat next to her cat, who sat next to her, and that in itself was all that was needed to be considered good company. She found herself enjoying those moments, where the world was still and unfocused and utterly peaceful. It was peaceful in a way she never really felt or appreciated before. Sakura had taken to calling it her Lazy Cat Jutsu, and Dan had laughed and formally asked to adopt her technique for himself.

"Who?" she asked, snapping out of her lazy stupor.

Dan nodded to Kieri, who was laying on her side and watching them. "She's waiting for you to ask her to train as a shinobi's companion."

Sakura scratched Kieri behind the ears and smiled. "And I'm waiting for her to tell me how she feels. She already knows how I feel about it. Why bother her until she decides?"

Kieri sat up and stared at Sakura, her golden eyes intense. Sakura stared back, a lazy smile on her face, until Kieri stretched up and tapped Sakura's forehead protector. Sakura nodded and gave her another scratch, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the sound of her companion purring. "Okay," she said, leaning back and shutting her eyes. "Tomorrow."

* * *

**EDIT: **Another backlog chapter edited by Pom Rania. Thanks.

**Author's Note:** A little more talky and less active than I generally like my training sequence, but I felt that the biggest challenge Sakura would face would be learning how to interact with a cat, considering her own aggressive personality problem.

Originally, I used Positive and Negative Reinforcement incorrectly. I was aware of this, but when a reader thanks me for getting it right, I decided to come back and actually _make_ it right. Enjoy the short explanation paragraphs.

I generally avoid OC anything. Lord knows Naruto has enough characters. But in my research, I found only one other possible trainer, who had a tiny part, and I could not justify her presence for this. However, my research did find something interesting, which may come up eventually. Anyhow, I decided I needed someone who knew cats, and opted to simply make someone whole cloth, and while they'll never be central to the story, Dan will come up again.

On particularly observant reader mentioned how Sakura would swap between "it" and "she/her" as the pronoun she uses when dealing with Kieri. Yes, this is deliberate, reflecting how much Sakura considered the cat a "person."


	17. Cold Eyes and Cold Hearts

Kakashi sighed and looked at his three temporary students talking at the training grounds they had been assigned. Kakashi had set up his usual hiding spot to observe how they interacted when he was "late." They got along exactly as he had thought they would. It was a disaster, a gruesome and glorious disaster, and it was everything Kakashi could have wanted from it.

"I'm not saying you are a poor fighter, I'm saying you cannot compare to me. That is simply your fate." Hyuga Neji was saying this with a cold smile. The boy was very well practiced in his cold mannerisms, from the slight frown he always wore to the dead gaze in his eyes. Kakashi almost giggled when Guy had introduced the boy to him. Neji was perfect for his own needs, and might just gain something out of the bargain himself. He had instructed the three genin to show up at the usual training ground he used and set himself up in the blind to observe them.

To her credit, Tenten looked put off by Neji's manner. She had been quite polite when Guy introduced her, and while she had not been deeply enthused to mix and match teams, she had reacted favorably to know she was still working with Neji, and even more so to know she would be getting a break from Guy and Lee's exuberance. She had remained quiet once the argument had started, even as Neji started to glare at the other genin, although several times Kakashi saw her look as if she wanted to say something to the eternally grumpy Hyuga. But whether it was from her desire to not fight with her teammate or a end result of what appeared to be a mild infatuation with the pale-eyed boy, she never truly spoke up, either for or against him.

To his credit, Sasuke had politely introduced himself and had been quite companionable in his own quiet way, at least at first. Then Neji had opened his mouth and issued forth on his opinion of Kakashi, and Guy, and Konohagakure's shinobi training system in general. Sasuke had been surprisingly polite by his standards in refuting Neji's complaints. No blood had been spilled, no matter how sharp his tongue was.

Neji apparently took the polite manner as a sign of weakness, and kept pushing. Sasuke, seeing what Neji was doing, pushed back. Eventually, Sasuke had wondered out loud how competent someone like Neji could be, which had lead to this latest little gem.

"If you had been trained by the tutors I had, you would know of your own weakness, Uchiha, and the weakness of your master."

Sasuke's eyes shifted slightly to one side, just a little, but enough to give the game away if either of the others noticed. The kunoichi was looking down at the ground, too abashed by the argument to look him in the eye, and Neji was staring at him with a cold and arrogant smirk, far too occupied with his seeming victory to notice Sasuke's moment of inattention. Sasuke then looked straight at Kakashi's hiding place while he politely asked Neji for more details on Kakashi's weaknesses. Kakashi held out his arm from the blind, thumb up, and started silently making his way towards the three shinobi.

Neji, meanwhile, scoffed and crossed his arms, standing straight and tall like a teacher talking down to his students. "He's always late to everything, no matter how important. He wastes your time, and mine, in doing so. He is very intelligent, I grant you, but he is far too willing to take things easy and cut people slack. And from what I hear, death seems to follow him on every mission, claiming his friends and allies casually." His voice rose, dripping with sarcasm. "I am sure that he could have prevented those deaths, if he tried, but that's too much to ask for such a lazy sensei. I will be here, as required of me by my own fool of a teacher, but I will learn nothing of value."

"Sounds about right," said Kakashi quietly, his mouth inches from the Hyuga's right ear. Neji did not turn to face Kakashi, did not act startled in any way that Kakashi could see, which was itself telling. A surprised shinobi would turn quickly and give away their shock. An unsurprised shinobi would turn slowly, to prove their foreknowledge and prove they had no fear. But someone who was surprised, and had just enough control, would freeze as they faced the sudden surprise, and then…

Neji turned around. Behind the boy, Kakashi could see Sasuke smirking, and Tenten looking mortified. "You were spying on us," said Neji, flatly. Kakashi nodded.

"Any good sensei would spy on his students, because what they say about him when he is not around would be a greater truth. After all," he said, slipping his left arm around Neji's shoulders and giving him a companionable shake, "how else will we know that we're nothing but a self-serving, time-wasting asshole, or a green-clad moron who has muscles to spare and too much focus on his useless, crippled little orphan?" Kakashi's eye narrowed dangerously. "Seeing as we're all being ever so honest with each other, maybe I should tell you what I see before me as well?"

Neji nodded with a grimace. He'd been caught in a neat little trap, and he knew it. To refuse would be to eat his words, and he would not lose face in such a cowardly manner. He was certain he could refute Kakashi's words after the man was done.

Kakashi turned to Sasuke, turning Neji along with him. "My student first, naturally. It's only fair. I see… a young man, driven to succeed. Sometimes, he's so driven, he forgets that he is still a young man, and has to live his life as such. But to his credit, he has learned much under my guidance, and maybe, some day, he just might have a chance at being half as smart as I am." Sasuke glowered, but after a moment, his lips turned upward, and after another moment, it became a smirk, an open declaration of war, a challenge given and silently accepted.

Kakashi turned them both to Tenten, who was starting to fidget. Kakashi thought back to the files Guy had given him and found something plausible to say. "And here, we see a young woman who wants to be strong, so much so that she will tolerate things I shudder to consider. Like Guy and Lee. Together. Training." Tenten shuddered, and Kakashi found himself fighting down a grin. "And in spite of her desire to specialize in weapons, she showed up here today with the intent to learn from someone that her own sensei, Guy, the best taijutsu master in Konohagakure, suggested could help her. In time, I think she will succeed in her goal of becoming a strong kunoichi, in spite of the challenges she faces in training and in life." Tenten looked a little surprised, and blushed under the final compliment, so Kakashi gave himself a little mental pat on the back. His words amounted to little more than a cold reading on the situation, but giving her encouragement to branch out a little was one of the requests Guy had made of him, and you generally catch more flies with honey.

Wasps, however, get swatted. Kakashi swung Neji around to face him, putting the boy's back to the other genin. "And then, there is you, a child so certain in his superiority, he will openly speak out against those who would train him, about things he knows nothing about, and is not even smart enough to use his _perfect perception to look around and check for the people he's talking about._" The last was delivered in Kakashi's coldest voice, his one visible eye glaring. "I can train you to use techniques, but I cannot train you to think, not if you are so incompetent that you cannot bring yourself to try."

Kakashi stepped past Neji, who was frozen in place, his face remaining blank even as his hands clenched tight. He raised one hand, tapping the forehead protector he wore over his sharingan eye and looking at Sasuke, who nodded. The young Uchiha circled around the still-immobile Hyuga and moved a few feet away, dragging Tenten along with him. Then Kakashi, his back still turned, said, "Should you want training, you'll now have to earn it. Impress me. Show me the strength of your family. I'll keep my eye covered to preserve your limited techniques, although I've seen more than enough Hyuga fight to make your limited capabilities uninteresting." He turned and crossed his arms, narrowing his one visible eye and letting his tone of voice to rise slightly as if in mockery. "Begin when ready, or walk away, coward."

Neji nodded once, and Kakashi had to give him credit, the boy did not hesitate. He lunged forward, his eyes already active, fast for a first year yet impossibly slow against someone like Kakashi. Kakashi stepped back, a single step, rotating his body to evade each blow with minimal effort.

Sasuke watched with his sharingan activated, staring intently at both the fighters as his eyes took in every detail. Tenten looked fit to be sick, her eyes darting between combatants as if unsure who to cheer for. And Kakashi, after a full minute, took another step back to give himself just enough time to pull out his favorite book and flip it open. After a further two minutes, he started to parry instead of just evade, his arms spinning in a strange dance that seemed to match Neji's moves perfectly. "Kata will not suffice, Hyuga. I have seen all three hundred and twelve of the base kata of the Gentle Fist style. Try something new."

Neji managed to move even faster after that, but Kakashi's dance still matched his own perfectly, even without his sharingan exposed, even when Neji abandoned katas and began to improvise. Eventually Neji stopped, breath ragged and hair in disarray, glaring at the jonin, who stared back, his face showing only indifference, his breathing perfectly normal. "How can you be so good at my clan's style?" Neji demanded, cold fury raising his volume if not his tone.

Kakashi shrugged. "Impress me tomorrow, and I'll tell you. For today, you are dismissed."

Neji snarled, all the more terrible for the boy's previously unchanging face, and he turned and stormed away. Tenten raised her hand, took a step forward… then stopped. She hung her head and turned back to Kakashi, who was watching the departing Hyuga with a sad and knowing glint in his eye. "There but for my efforts you go, Sasuke. There is pride, arrogance, and above all, the terminal stupidity of a shinobi who, faced with an unstoppable foe, does not consider doing anything beyond charging blindly into the fray."

Sasuke nodded. The lesson was not lost on him.

"Say nothing about this to anyone, Sasuke. That, too, is part of the lesson I will be teaching him." Kakashi turned to Tenten, who was still looking down at the ground, her eyes slightly bright.

"Tenten?"

Tenten straightened to stand at attention, but her body language radiated fear.

"You have already impressed me. Faced with the choice between trying to comfort your crush," and she winced at that, just slightly, "and staying to learn from your temporary sensei, you did exactly what you should do, even if it hurt." He managed a smile, letting it travel all the way up to his eye to ensure she did not miss it because of his mask. "I am not unreasonable. I will not punish you for your teammate's folly. I do ask, however, that you say nothing to him about what we train during these sessions until he joins us in them. Understood?"

Tenten nodded.

"Then here is what you shall learn for today…"

* * *

Neji whirled, slapping out with his hands, snarling as Kakashi parried them with ease. "You'll never get anywhere with that," Kakashi said, eyes not leaving his book. "Maybe tomorrow. Dismissed."

* * *

Neji broke his kata, snapping out with a kick in the midst of a routine. Kakashi barely turned his head. "Your stance was broken," Kakashi said quietly, stepping forward to knock the boy down with a leg sweep. "It was obvious you were going to swap to a kick. Maybe tomorrow. Dismissed."

* * *

Neji lunged forward, both hands out, abandoning all pretense of defense for one single hopeful strike.

It had been a full week now. When doing team missions, Tenten had been desperate to talk about her training… and at the same time, desperate not to bring it up at all. Apparently, Kakashi and Sasuke were training her in some basic fire release jutsu. Kakashi had mentioned that her tool-heavy fighting style would be quite effective if if the right tools were used with the right sort of jutsu, and Training Ground Three was quickly gathering a series of large but shallow depressions of charred dirt from her practice.

Lee had shouted gleefully about the fires of youth in Tenten, then asked politely what Neji had learned. Neji had turned away and refused to talk, refused to look at Guy's face, which had a grave appearance whenever their eyes met.

Finally, at the end of the week, in the midst of the daily fight, Neji had enough. He lunged without any plan, just trying to hit Kakashi. Kakashi slapped aside his hand and then brought an elbow down on the boy's head hard, driving him to the ground. His face smashed into the dirt, grinding the filth into his smooth skin, and he lay there panting while Kakashi stood over him in judgement.

"You were careless. You dropped your defenses for an uncertain chance." Kakashi's voice was cold. "I am not impressed by suicide attempts, doubly so for ones that have no real chance of success, and I have seen far too many of my friends and allies die to that ridiculous notion. To think that such a pointless effort would impress me, just because it is you, Hyuga, is arrogance of the highest order."

Neji snarled and rose again, lashing out wildly. He never noticed the look on Tenten's face, on Sasuke's face. He never noticed the strange, reverberating sound, or the blue glow. He spun around, preparing another attack, then stopped dead.

"And arrogance kills."

The blue glow around Kakashi's arm faded, the birds stopped their chorus, and Kakashi's hand curled inward, snagging the neatly severed edge of Neji's forehead protector, pulling it away from his brow to reveal his family's Cursed Seal. Kakashi tossed the broken forehead protector to the ground.

"I know of that seal, Hyuga Neji. I know of the two branches in your family, the servants and the leaders, and how they are decided. And yes, I disapprove." Kakashi stepped back and lowered his arms. "Tell me, Neji, how many of your clansmen know this sealing technique?"

Neji's mind was frozen, unable to operate. He had felt the leather part under Kakashi's strike, had felt his hair sever from his temple, had felt the artificial breeze as the power of Kakashi's own creation, the infamous chidori, passed so close to his skin that it tingled with residual energy. Never before had he faced a foe who could kill him on a whim and had so clearly demonstrated it. After a few moments, Kakashi stepped forward and laid his hand, _the same hand_, on his shoulder.

"How many," said Kakashi, quiet as the grave.

"Three to six," said Neji, shocked. He shook his head, then looked up at Kakashi. "It depends on how far the apprentices for the main house have gotten in their training. The art of the seal is rare in our family, as it is in much of Konohagakure."

"If you wanted the practice of the Cursed Seal to end, and internal politics failed, how would you ensure that art was lost?"

"Kill them," Neji said, without hesitation.

"And if it came to that, could you take them with your family techniques?"

Neji opened his mouth to reply with hot and angry assurances, then snapped it shut. This man, this outsider, had flawlessly evaded him, without any clan training. Those who learned the sealing technique were highly placed in the clan, and generally old enough to have a great deal of experience.

"No."

Kakashi nodded. "Change does not happen when you follow people's expectations, but when you defy them. If you cannot match their experience in a Gentle Fist battle, you _do not get into a Gentle Fist battle_. And to do that, you need something other than the Gentle Fist. That is why Guy thought to send you to me for training."

Neji's mind was whirling with thoughts, options, considerations. Kakashi was right, if nothing else worked there was always the choice to trade his life to end the practice, but to do that, he'd have to strike with precision, speed, and surprise, or they would only turn his own seal against him. And the only way to do that and succeed would be to pick them off as an assassin, one at a time, in a manner they could not predict.

And then his thought process crashed completely as Kakashi leaned in and mumbled, "Did you check the area before publicly declaring a blood feud with your own clan?"

Neji stepped back, eyes widening as his byakugan activated and spinning in place to ensure that his tiny blind spot would be no hinderance. His eyes, veins bulging, took in every detail in every direction for a full fifty meters, looking through every rock and tree and leave, looking at every tiny speck of chakra. In the end, those few humans without his range appeared uninterested in them, and none were of his family or their more immediate allies.

"To assume nobody was listening, as you plotted murder, was arrogant. And arrogance kills. Thankfully, I was keeping an eye out for myself as well." Neji's mind swam, his eyes blurred, as he tried to regain his center. So many shocks, so quickly together, was disorienting, maddening, and he found himself having trouble just think about what to say or do.

"So," said Kakashi, his voice slowly becoming friendly, "how do you train against people who would use Gentle Fist against you?"

Neji just stared at Kakashi, unable to think under the weight of his confusion and anger and hurt pride. Kakashi laughed at the boy's bewildered face and gently pulled Neji around to face Sasuke. "You find a partner who can steal fighting styles, and show them how it works."

Sasuke took his cue. He had been expecting it, even though he and Kakashi had not discussed it previously. He bowed to Neji and started performing katas from the Gentle Fist style, the very ones he had watched Neji performing all week. Neji felt a sting in his heart, watching that _thief_ as he used his stolen knowledge… and it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"You planned this in advance," he said, his mind clearing under the heat of his anger and shame. "You planned to humiliate me, to crush my spirit, to turn me against my family."

Kakashi shook his head, a negative. "I planned to humiliate you, to crush your spirit, so that if you ever _had_ to turn against your family, you had a chance to succeed. You cannot climb above your current place if you cannot see the ladder above you."

Neji could not get his mind to work properly. He was awash in emotion, uncertain, and unable to return to the calm state he worked so hard to cultivate. Tenten walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder, and this time, when he looked at her, he did not see a sub-par fighter, jealous of his strength, but a friend, witnessing the pain of his weakness. He wondered how he had not seen that before.

He dropped to his knees and bowed deeply to Kakashi, his forehead resting on the cool dirt at his feet. "I am a fool for refusing your aid, and a fool for speaking poorly of you without knowing your capabilities. I ask you to teach me, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi could not help himself. He giggled, just slightly. "A Hyuga asking for aid, from a position of overt weakness? I am impressed."

* * *

**EDIT: **Thank, Pom Rania, for the editing work.

**Author's Note:** I will not detail, just yet, the actual training they will do as a group. That will be a surprise for later.

Tenten was hard to write for me, mostly because of this particular setup. She is not meek, by any measure, but neither is she as headstrong and boisterous as, say, Naruto. In the end, she had little to say in this part, but she'll get her moment in due time.

And don't assume everything will turn out well for Neji. Every silver lining hides a black cloud.


	18. OMAKE BREAK! Kakashi's Secret!

"So, I hear nobody has ever drunk you under the table," demanded a voice from behind his seat at the bar.

Kakashi turned in his booth, where he had been discussing future training possibilities with Kurenai, and looked at the woman sitting behind him. The girl was shorter than he was, with a mass of purple hair pulled back and tied haphazardly. She was smirking at him from the other booth, and Kakashi noted that more than a few sake containers sat empty on her table. He realized that he knew this woman, and with that realization came a small internal sigh.

Kakashi was passingly familiar with Mitarashi Anko. The girl had been an apprentice to Orochimaru of the Sannin, and when he had fled the village, he had dragged her along. They eventually found her again, with no memory of the recent past and a cursed seal that did nothing but cause her pain before it had been locked down by another seal placed around it. She worked in the Torture and Interrogation section of the shinobi forces, the only place where her reputation as the student of a traitor seemed to be accepted. Her reputation for being a woman without style or class, however, was well earned by her lack of manners, and her outfit did little to discourage that sort of opinion.

Kakashi was suspicious of Anko, not because of her past, but because her habits fit her role as a tough girl a little too closely to be genuine. She worked regularly with Morino Ibiki, and he had a thing for mind games and role playing during interrogations. Kakashi idly wondered who played the good cop during those times...

"Someone has been telling tales from ANBU, Mitarashi-san. Care to say who?" His eye darted to his own companion, who was smirking. _How do they ever have the energy to do this to me,_ he thought. One would think that jonin, in life or death situations often enough to astound any outsider, would be more serious or grim, but in Kakashi's experience, they tended to be far more troublesome than any genin squad, mostly because they were so _good_ at causing trouble.

"Nope, but sounds like I found the right white-haired shinobi, at least." Anko smirked and turned fully in her seat, stopping to tug at the edges of her long coat, conveniently revealing her skimpy fishnet shirt. Kakashi managed to hold back a sigh at such an amateur act, and let his eye dip down slightly. He heard Kurenai grunt behind him, signaling she saw his eye move. _That's what you get for setting this up, _he quietly thought to himself.

Anko leaned forward, her eyes narrowed. "I saw you checking the goods," she said with a smirk. "Even the ever stoic Hatake-san cannot resist my bountiful charms!" She leaned fully across the back of the booth, leering in a manner she probably thought was suggestive, but which came across as predatory instead. "If you're a good boy, maybe you'll get another peak during the contest."

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eye and turned to face Kurenai. "I'm not getting out of here without another ridiculous contest, am I," he said in leaden tones. Kurenai shook her head, smiling slightly. "We're only here today, now, to discuss training, because you set up this encounter, aren't we?" She nodded, her grin growing. "And she's just tenacious enough to bug me for the rest of my life if I don't just get it over with, isn't she?"

"Damn right," said Anko, slipping into their booth next to Kurenai, setting down to bottles of sake in front of them. "Drinking contest. One for one. First to fall over or spew loses." She poured two saucers, then lifted her own.

"You're no better than Guy sometimes, I swear," he muttered to Kurenai, who at least had the decency to look miffed at that comparison. Kakashi turned to Anko and stared at her. "Stakes," he said flatly. He who knew better than to accept without knowing the goal of this particular attempt to ferret out his secrets.

"I win," Anko said with a smile, "and you let me see what's under your mask."

"Declined." _And she knows it._

Anko shrugged and took a sip from Kurenai's cup.

Kakashi pushed his opinion of the specialist jonin up slightly. There was no way he would ever agree to that, and the way she brushed off his refusal, she knew ahead of time she would be denied. Either she had been very well coached on this, or she had done her research.

"I win," she said after a moment, "and you take me on a date." She smirked at him.

"Declined." _What's the game, here?_ Most people could be pressured into agreement if given a much more acceptable request after an initial refusal. In theory, Mitarashi-san should have made such an offer immediately in the hope of his acceptance. But Kakashi's unwillingness to do anything even remotely romantic was as infamous as his desire to keep his mask on at all times, and rumor told him that both were prime objectives amongst some of his former ANBU allies.

Anko stopped to think for a moment, tapping her finger on the table. "Fine. I win, and you let me read that book you're always looking at." Kakashi opened his mouth to agree, but she raised her free hand. "Your copy, Hatake Kakashi, not any random copy."

Kakashi shut his mouth and stared at her. _Nobody sees my book, that's as solid as the other two. She keeps trying to increase the pressure on me. Never go along with another person's plan._ It would do little enough harm if she saw, but still… "I will agree, if you promise to never tell anyone else what you see in it."

Anko nodded, smiling like the cat who got the mouse. She raised the saucer to her lips, then lowered it slightly. "And my stakes," she asked, going for another leer. "Maybe you want to see a little more of Anko-chan?" She leaned forward, arms tucked under her chest to bring forward her assets.

_She is really, really bad at this seduction thing._ This time, Kakashi did not let his eye move. "I win, and you never challenge me to a drinking contest again."

Anko's eyes darted over to Kurenai. "Yes," said Kakashi, letting a little of his tired frustration into his voice, "That's why she roped you into this. You, and the previous five women. And it's always women, I might add," Kakashi said to Kurenai, who was sitting in her spot and quietly exuding an air of innocence. "And they always try the seduction routine on the infamous pervert Hatake Kakashi. One would think you were trying to set me up _again,_ Yuhi-san."

"I accept," said Anko, smirking at Kurenai, who was smirking a little herself.

Kakashi sighed and raised his own saucer. "Let's get this over with."

Anko stared in confusion as Kakashi drank the sake through his face mask. Kurenai meanwhile was watching him very closely, like she always did during these little moments. For some reason, the mask was always a thing for everyone he met. He'd heard rumor that there was a bounty back in ANBU for his mask or a picture of him without it. Those rumors claimed that everyone from the owner of the ramen stand Naruto loved so much to Danzo Shimura himself had chipped into the pot. After he developed his 'Another Mask' routine, where he pulled down his mask on request to show another mask beneath it, the Hokage had confirmed the rumor, and had added to the pot, telling Kakashi that it was good practice for the newer members of ANBU in impossible problem solving and a morale boost for the older ones who got the free entertainment of watching the new members try to collect.

Kakashi set his saucer down, his face the same literally emotionless mask as before he began to drink, and said, "Your turn."

* * *

Kakashi looked at Anko, who was leaning back in the booth with her head leaning over the edge and into the booth behind her, her eyes closed, her breathing even but heavy. He'd called for her to drink three times, and she had yet to react. "I'm going to assume we're done here, Kurenai. Please pull her forward. That's unhealthy." Kurenai reached out and pulled on Anko's jacket slightly, until the girl slumped forward onto the table with a solid thump, upsetting her last saucer of sake as she did so.

Kakashi shook his head. "Less than two bottles? You've become desperate, Kurenai. You usually choose champion drinkers."

The red eyed woman sighed, but she nodded in agreement as well. "What would it take to get you to just tell me how you do that? I've seen you drink enough to kill a civilian, yet I've never seen you so much as burp, never mind stumble. How on earth can you drink that much?"

Kakashi kept the surprise from his face. "All you want to know is how I drink so well? Not what I look like without the mask, or how I eat and drink though it?" Kurenai nodded glumly.

_The choices are to either tell her, and end this stupid routine once and for all, or keep quiet, and have to deal with damaging someone's liver every few months. Not a hard choice._ He leaned forward conspiratorially, raising one hand in a theatrical manner, as if imparting a great secret. "Promise to never set up another drinking contest with me, and that you'll never tell anyone else about it, and I'll tell you how I keep winning the drinking contests. It'll save us both the grief from repeating this over and over again."

Kurenai nodded in agreement and leaned forward expectantly.

Kakashi tugged his mask slightly away from his face and squeezed it, releasing more than a little liquid. "The fabric is absorbent, as is my undershirt, which it is connected to. I drank maybe a single saucer's worth tonight. The rest is either in my shirt, or slowly pooling on the floor at my feet."

"You cheated," said Kurenai, her face grim.

"I cheated," he said, his smile reaching his eyes for the first time that night.

Anko's head immediately popped up from the table, her eyes clear and her smile huge. "You cheated," she crowed at the top of her voice as Kakashi leaned back in surprise. "Hah! You should have waited for the contest to be over rather then assuming it was, then." She smirked at Kurenai, who looked quite pleased with herself. "Cheating is as good as a loss. Let's see the book, Hatake-san. Or are you going to welch on a bet?"

Kakashi fumed quietly. He could probably argue that she had not responded to her turn of the challenge and lost before the confession… but it would not matter. The story would revolve around him being a cheat, not her losing, and once that got around, every jonin in the village would declare open season on him. So far, he'd managed to convince them to leave him alone when he was at home, because he enjoyed sleeping peacefully without highly trained assassins sneaking into his house to poke at his face. That would end if he fought.

"Fine, fine," he said, waving his hand. "You win. I'll show you, and only you, my book."

Kakashi and Anko swapped back to her booth, and after a careful look around to ensure nobody else was watching, Kakashi reached into his bag and pulled out his well thumbed copy of _Icha Icha Paradise_ and handed it over.

Anko smirked triumphantly and opened the book… then frowned. She flipped one page, then another, then began to thumb through them quickly. She opened her mouth to complain, then stopped under the heat of his glare. "No trick. That's the real deal. Our little secret," he said. "Or would you welch on a debit?"

Anko slowly handed the book back, staring aghast at Kakashi, then turned around in the booth to face Kurenai, who had been desperately trying not to show any interest in what was going on. "You're buying," Anko said. "I need a drink."

* * *

It had taken two more bottles before Anko started to wobble a little. It took another two before her words started to slur. And it took one more bottle before she finally stopped going on about how she could not believe Kakashi owned that book.

Kurenai had gotten up to leave around that point, stopping only to point out to Kakashi that a gentleman who wanted to sleep easy with his mask on would see the poor drunk woman home. He would have taken her opinion more seriously, if he didn't see her wink at Anko, who was very, very careful not to react, but who also went through the trouble of slowly crawling out of the booth, showing off her curves in a number of highly impractical poses while doing so, before finally tripping over her coat with a very obvious pratfall and stumbling into him. "Can't wait to getcher mitts on me, eh," she slurred, rubbing against his arm as she tried to pull herself up his body.

Kakashi merely shook his head and went to pay his tab.

The two of them made it down a single street before Anko had to make an emergency stop at the side of the road. The next street, she started to wobble so bad that he was forced to pull her arm over his shoulders and walk with her. By the fourth street, she managed to fall over in spite of his help.

Kakashi sighed and helped her up, dragging her arm back over his shoulder to help her stay up. "'Choo jus wanna feel," she said, clenching the same arm tight over his shoulders and leaning into him.

"Mitarashi-san, you have been fairly throwing yourself at me most of the night, and I half suspect it's all Kurenai's fault. You've seen inside my book, so I think you know by now that your charms are not so effective as you might think."

Anko snorted. "Mayyybe I fine you cute, Kakakakashi-chann."

"And I find you are seriously drunk."

Anko nodded sagely, then stumbled away from him slightly and pulled a little book out of her jacket. She started flipping through it casually, and it took Kakashi a few moments to realize it was his book, and she'd apparently picked his pockets for it at some point. "Yeahhh, bu' this, this," she shut the book and waved it at him, "this thing. This thing. Unreal. Never guessed. Nobody believe it."

He snatched it from her roughly, then pulled her arm back over his shoulder and marched her along. "Our secret, though, right?"

Anko nodded and leered at him. "Our secret."

* * *

The next day, Kakashi set up Sasuke and Tenten to practice after the morning disappointment with Neji, then pulled out his book and flipped it open. He giggled slightly and turned a page to look at the next crisp sheet of blank white paper.

Everyone knew that Kakashi was a pervert. Everyone knew, because he was always reading that perverted book, that book that anyone could buy or even look up in the library. And they always got their own copy, and looked, and assumed. Eventually, when in the fullness of time they wanted to distract him, they always tried for seduction because Kakashi was so obviously a pervert, and he obliged them with wandering eyes and carefully held breaths. It was a very convenient way to tell when a woman was trying to manipulate him, and it boggled Kakashi's mind that _none of them questioned it!_

Kakashi gave another false giggle and flipped another page. Only unlike every other page in the book, this page was no longer blank. Instead, across the page in an uneven scrawl was a message that Kakashi had completely failed to see her write in his book.

_Had fun. Not nearly as drunk as you think. I see your act, and raise you mine. Try again? -Anko_

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Those of you who care about such, I hope you found this an amusing take at the usual pairing. I noticed that Anko has a few fan-assumed traits, and generally comes across as either a slut or a dom in stories that mention her. How could I possibly resist twisting that idea around to what a ninja really is, a master of deception?

A guest reviewer commented that in the first chapter, when Kakashi pulled out the square wrapped in foil out of his bento, they thought it was a condom. Not going to lie, I laughed myself silly on reading that, because one can infer from that review and the circumstances that they feel Sasuke should eat dick. I LOL'ed.

As always, thanks for the reviews, even just a "good chap" post is a statement of approval. My numbers give me warm fuzzies, which are used as currency to produce more goods, which I trade for more warm fuzzies, until I can swim through fuzzy tokens of exchange like Scrooge McDuck. So thanks, you capitalist pigs ;)

**Brittany Bennett: **Honestly, and this is not judgmental in any way, but many fanfic readers and writers are in the age bracket where relationships hold immense fascination, doubly so for a shonen manga/anime. It's just the nature of the age category. Unfortunately, with that also comes highly stylized and often painfully inaccurate concepts of what a relationship is, and how people in one act around each other. I appreciate your words, and I assure you, this is not going to turn into Naruto screaming at his foes and going Super Saiyan over the fallen body of **CENSORED BY THE BOARD OF THE SHIP SINKER PREVENTION SOCIETY**, or 20 chapters on how Lee and **CENSORED BY THE BOARD OF THE SHIP SINKER PREVENTION SOCIETY** go on a wacky date. I am actually a huge fan of the old Star Wars EU, which tended to either avoid relationships, or else approached them in a moderately realistic and non-sexualized way, and certainly not as a primary component of the story.


	19. A Rescue Mission! In Konoha!

"I don't see any sentries," said Sakura into her radio.

She was crouched in the bushes, deep in the forest, looking across the empty clearing to the wooden palisade that had been erected there overnight. There were no men positioned on the five foot high wall of wooden planks, none at the small gate. The entire area was suspiciously quiet, although she could hear quiet conversation in the distance.

"There has to be some," Sasuke muttered back. He was positioned to the rear, where a second, smaller gate was located. "They can't possibly have left the gates unguarded. Any news from Kieri?"

Sakura looked around, and saw no signs of her companion. "Not back yet," she said quietly.

"Stand by."

Sakura shifted slightly in her hiding place to keep her muscles loose and tried not to worry too much. She knew Kieri would have to be slow and cautious, when she was sent out to spy on the fort, but it had been nearly an hour, and she was worried for her companion.

No sooner did she finish that thought that she left her cat land lightly on her back from the branch above her. Kieri made a very quiet sound, half meow, half purr, and stood in front of Sakura, one paw raised, with a single claw.

"Any sentries," Sakura asked. Kieri etched a rough square in the dirt, and made two small squares to represent the two gates. She tapped twice on each square, once on either side of the square. When Sakura did not reply, the cat drew a second square, divided in two with a line, and tapped once each, on either side of the square, halfway along its length.

Sakura looked at the fort again, then nodded. The gates were double doors, roughly carved, and now that she knew to look for it, she could see the small holes on either side of the gate, peepholes for guards. "Any to the sides," she asked, tapping the sides without gates on the map. Kieri's eyes narrowed, and she drew all four claws and made a slash mark on each of the remaining sides.

"Good girl," Sakura said, and her pride was obvious in her voice and smile. Kieri knew better then to purr while on duty, so she settled for grooming herself contentedly while Sakura relayed that information to Sasuke.

"Copy," said Sasuke after a moment. "I see the holes. Radio when you are prepared to move."

Sakura did not waste time in replying, but immediately started her slow sliding movements to back into the woods. Once she was certain she could not be seen, she moves quietly through the trees until she was aligned with one corner of the fort. Kieri, she knew, would already be on the other corner, ready for her own move. Sakura reached up and clicked her radio once.

Her vantage point was perfect, and she saw the forest to the rear of the fort become illuminated. The plan was simple. Sasuke would nail one of the sentries with his Plasma Lance as a distraction, and in that moment of surprise, Sakura would quietly assault the front. She darted forward, running first to the corner of the palisade, then along the front of it, towards the gate. When she got within a few feet of the peep hole, she turned and ran up the wall itself, her final step launching herself into the air.

She saw, in the center of the fort, a small building, with maybe a dozen rooms at most, and a roof access. She also saw three guards on that roof. Two had turned to the rear, where the gate was being pulled open in spite of the fire eating at it. The third was looking in her direction, as a good guard should, and Sakura pegged him with a kunai before his mouth could open fully. The reached the apex of her leap, and as she began to fall, she saw the two gate guards on her side, also looking back at the building. _Bad luck for them,_ she thought, a feral smile on her lips.

The one immediately below her never had time to react. She landed, full force, her feet landing on his shoulders. She felt his shoulder blades break, and she fell forward in a tumble. She rose, then dropped to all fours as the other guard swung the thin club in his hands at her, the air whistling. His mouth was opening, and Sakura tried to draw a kunai and throw it, but she was still dodging his swing, and her hand missed her leg holster.

Then Kieri arrived, dropping from above just like Sakura had. It landed on the guard's head, back claws digging into the flesh of his neck while the front latched on to the man's eyes and dug in. Sakura winced and the man opened his mouth to scream before he vanished in a puff of smoke.

_Sorry for that memory, Naruto,_ she thought as she turned and ran for the building. She could hear the shouts at the rear gate, saw another flash of light, and even louder shouting. Ahead was the building, with a series of unglazed windows and a single door. Sakura ignored the door by default, assuming it was trapped somehow, and instead jumped through a window.

She tumbled to her feet, a kunai in each hand, and spun quickly. There was only a single doorway leading out of the room, and a quick glance outside showed a short hallway going half the length of the building. She grunted twice, barely hard enough to disturb the air, and left Kieri pass her legs to scout the darker corners. After a few moments, Kieri returned and sat on the right side of the hall. She tapped the right side wall twice, then unsheathed her claws and tapped the wall twice more. Finally, she twitched her tail against the wall. Sakura translated the code in her head. _Two doors down, two targets, and the objective._ Kieri had shown no skill in vocal code, so they had settled for one based off movement, and while it relied on sight, it was quiet.

Sakura nodded, then raised her hand, palm reversed, and closed her hand into a fist. Kirei's eyes narrowed, but she obliged Sakura and jumped back out the window. The rules said that Kirei was fair game in combat, and Sakura did not want to risk the small cat's body more then she had to for a training exercise. She took a deep breath, and started to run.

She turned into the third room to the right, arm already cocked for the throw, and saw them. Two copies of Naruto were standing on either side of a chair, in which sat Kakashi, his arms bound with handcuffs, quietly reading that pervert book of his. Each copy of Naruto held a short stick, a stand in for a kunai, and one turned to kill Kakashi with his stick while the other stepped forward to throw his own.

_Priorities._ Sakura threw her kunai, the one in her right hand, at the clone attacking Kakashi, and was pleased to see the second clone miss his chance to deflect it. The clone with Kakashi vanished, his stick dropping to the ground. The remaining clone threw his stick, which Sakura dodged by dropping to all four, then lunging forward. Naruto drew a second stick from his holster and lashed out, striking downward to hit the crouching kunoichi, but she pushed up with all four limbs, sailing over his strike and landing on the clone. A quick thrust of her kunai, and that clone was gone too.

"I am Haruno Sakura, I am here to rescue you," she said quietly, reciting the phrase intended to replace the difficulty of untying a captive. "Come with me if you want to live." Kakashi nodded silently, then stood and began to follow her.

She lead him out the front door, listening carefully to the sound of the still raging battle to the rear. Sasuke had been charged with distracting the army as long as possible, and the army had been forbidden from using ninja arts, so the fight was excessively one sided, by the sound of it. Kakashi was also required to act as a civilian, and the slow walk he used to cross the distance to the front gate was torturous to Sakura. She kept moving, her eyes shifting rapidly, watching for any possible attack.

When he finally arrived, she blew out a small sigh, and turned to open the gate… then felt a stick tap her in the back. She froze, her face going taught, then she turned, glaring, as Kakashi grinned and tapped her again with the stick. And from the building came a loud shout, Kakashi's voice.

"End exercise!"

The Kakashi in front of her rubbed the back of his head and said, "Sorry, Sakura-chan…"

* * *

"You lied." Sakura was not amused, to say the least. She was fuming, and by the look of it, so was Kieri, perched on her shoulder. "You said that the opposing army was not allowed to use jutsu!"

"Mahh, mahh, I said that to you, yes." Kakashi was smiling behind his mask. At times, he really enjoyed his job, and this was one of them. He was finding that there was a great deal of pleasure to be found in teaching those who actually learned. "And then I took the original Naruto aside, and I told him there was one exception. He could have one shinobi in his forces."

"So you made him a decoy," said Sasuke, smirking slightly at Naruto, who was grinning cheerfully.

"Yeah," Naruto said, stretching his arms behind his head. "One of the things I have been working on with Guy-sensei and Kakashi-sensei was how to work with expectations. You guys expected an army, and I knew what you expected. So I worked with it, and gave you what you wanted, one captive, willing to follow you."

Kakashi ruffled the blond's head and smiled. "Why did I change the rules, Sakura, Sasuke?"

Sakura's face was practically glowing with her blush, but she clenched her teeth and bore down on her anger. "I got complacent."

Kakashi nodded. "You got complacent, and you died. Never assume intelligence is correct. Always question where it comes from. And always, always assume that everyone is a shinobi like you."

Sasuke was frowning slightly. "I understand," he said, "but that must make it hard to interact with civilians, on a personal level." He had been reading a lot of books lately, recommended by Kakashi, and many of them involved human interaction. _Hardly subtle, sensei, but I can't blame you for hammering me over the head with it._ After the first week working with Neji, Sasuke had a great deal more appreciation for his teacher.

"It does," said Kakashi, a touch of sadness in his voice. "You will find, as you get older, it is hard for shinobi to interact with civilians. A fellow shinobi would understand if you got paranoid and fingered a kunai while talking to them in strange circumstances. A civilian would not. There are exceptions to this rule, but in general, shinobi and civilians do not get along, not because of dislike, or even real distrust, but because of our nature. We are trained to assume the worst, and we live in a world where your friend might be a foe under a henge. Most civilians cannot understand this, not to a degree where they can really be allies or friends. This is also why shinobi tend to stick with other shinobi when it comes time to make a family."

Sakura nodded her head, her mind already passing over her memories of home with this new idea. She recalled how her parents reacted when she flinched at a loud noise, how they tried to make light of their daughter walking through the kitchen with a kunai in her hand after a neighbor kid broke a window and she assumed it was someone breaking in. She understood now why her parents had tried to discourage her from the life of a shinobi.

Naruto crossed his arms and grumbled. "You're saying I can't trust Teuchi? Or Ayame?"

Kakashi chuckled lightly at that. "I said there are exceptions. When I first started training you, and found out how often you visited and seeing how well they treated you, I went through the trouble of investigating the place. I was in the middle of their stock room, hanging on the ceiling and looking through their financial records, when Teuchi walked in from the front to get something. He did not so much as jump from my appearance. He greeted me, and warned me not to let Ayame notice or she'd hit me, ninja or not. He then left without a backward glance." _After telling me I had best take care of Naruto, and the two of us discussing arrangements for positive reinforcement._ Kakashi kept the last part to himself. He needed it less often now, but he still kept an account at Ichiraku's for those times where Naruto needed some brothy encouragement. "Either he was once a shinobi, which I could find no evidence of, or he understands our ways enough to not be offended. You can trust them as much as you can trust a fellow shinobi, I suspect. Just do what you should always do, and keep an eye out, in case an enemy tries to strike at you while wearing their appearance."

Naruto grumbled again, but he nodded. Kakashi turned to Sasuke, ready to continue the debriefing on the fight, then paused and looked at the sky. Above, he could a hawk passing overhead, a brown hawk with a single white dot on each wing. _Oh ho, is it that time already?_

"You three are dismissed for the day." He pointed. "That is a messenger hawk, and it carries news I have been waiting on for a few weeks, I think. I'll let you know tomorrow if it is." Kakashi made a single sign, then vanished in a swirl of leaves and smoke.

Sakura was about to leap away, Kirei firmly latched on to the back of her shirt (that had been reinforced heavily after a few too many claw marks on her shoulder), when Sasuke raised a hand at her and Naruto.

"We should go get a meal together, the three of us."

Sakura and Naruto had stared in shock, and Sasuke frowned, as if he was going to change his mind. After a moment, however, he managed a small smile. "I hear a lot of teams share meals regularly, and talk. Debriefing was cut short, maybe we can discuss it together."

Sakura had to bite down the urge to squeal in glee. It wasn't a date, not with Naruto there, but it was something, and her interest in the Uchiha had not faded away, even as she worked to keep it hidden. She opened her mouth to react, when Naruto spoke up.

"Who are you, and where is Sasuke?"

Sasuke huffed. "It's me, Dobe. I'm trying to be nice."

"Yeah, yeah," said Naruto, waving his hand, "but when are you that nice? We get along okay now, you're an okay guy, but we've never hung out outside of training and mission time, and that's got me worried you've been replaced by a face stealing spirit or something."

Sakura wanted to defend Sasuke… but Naruto was right. Sasuke had been polite in the past, and even friendly. He'd talked to her when she hit Inari, and when she was upset over her first kill, he'd stood watch outside her tent, a tact offer of companionship when she needed it. But Sasuke was not the sort to seek out companionship, and Naruto had spotted it. As much as it bothered her, Sakura's arm tensed slightly, ready to grab a kunai in case Naruto's hunch was correct. Sitting on her shoulder, Kieri ran her tail along Sakura's back in a coded question, asking if the black haired boy was a threat.

Sasuke sighed, and planted his fists on his hips. "Fine, so I've been… quiet. And I've been distant. It's who I am. But… you know how we've been training separately? I met someone, one of my training partners, who remind me of myself." His eyes grew distant, and he looked to the ground for a moment. "In a bad way. I don't want to be like them. And if that means watching Naruto eat like a pig, it's a small price to pay."

Naruto started shouting, and Sasuke smirked and talked back to him. The argument had carried all the way to Ichiraku's, where it had switched to a fresh argument about real food, which ran all the way until Naruto started to eat at the barbeque they ended up at. Then an argument started about if Sakura won her eating contest with Naruto, as Kieri had eaten some as well. That argument lasted until they reached the centermost part of town. But the three of them had smiled, even as the arguments grew heated, and they all agreed to meet once per week for a meal.

The team had become comfortable for the three of them. They parted, still arguing, with friendly goodbyes intermingled with shouted words, and each went home with a light heart.

* * *

Iruka had been present for the final debriefing on Kakashi and Kurenai's joint training, as well as the results so far on Guy's combined training. It was a benefit of being useful to the Hokage in his personal war with the mountains of paperwork he faced each day. You knew things. It hurt, knowing his cute little student, his secretly favorite student, was growing so fast, in a world that required death and suffering as much as the shinobi world did. But he was being well guided on his path.

He raised no objection when Kakashi suggested his team was ready for the exam.

* * *

"So, there is going to be an exam, starting next week," Kakashi said, when they met the next morning...

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I did not plan on having another chapter before I hit the exams, but as I started working on it, I felt that the jump from training to exam was a bit too abrupt. I chose to slip this in, instead, to give a little action, a little insight, and a little display of the team in action before we get into the real deal. The first draft was more "Time passes, this is what happened in that time," or as I think of it, boring garbage. Pity, too, I didn't notice till I had a full chapter done. Ahh well.

**SirScience:** More Anko will probably happen as further Omake chapters, or part of the primary story if my writing happens to turn that way (the original version of this chapter included her to a small degree, but it was cut once I realized it was not essential or relevant detail). I was rather proud of how that chapter came out, and I feel it might make for amusing asides when I need a not-too-vital chapter to take a break.

Thanks as always for your reviews.


	20. Set the Board

Team 7 was not impressed when they found the crowd gathered on the second floor of the school, considering they had been instructed to go to the third floor. Nor were they particularly impressed with the two fake students acting as guards, trying to talk potential entrants out of continuing onward. But they were impressed with the two combined.

_The guards indirectly reinforce the illusion,_ thought Sasuke as he watched Tenten take a blow to the face when she asked politely to advance. _Even if others spot the illusion, they may assume it is a trick involving the guards, not the location. And if they become suspicious of the location, well, why else post guards?_ Sasuke smirked, just slightly, at the layers of misdirection involved._Whoever set this up knew what they were doing. This should at least be interesting._

"Hey! That's Rock Lee! I've been training with him!" Naruto ran over to the green clad shinobi and crouched down. Lee turned to him and smiled, rubbing at his face a little to reveal the fake bruise he had applied after being hit.

"Naruto-san, I heard you would be part of this year's exam. It's good to see you, but I'm afraid there is a problem. These two students will not let us pass into the exam hall. But to fight outside of permitted times could disqualify us."

They both turned to the sound of knuckles cracking behind them. Sakura was standing there, cracking her fingers and smiling cheerfully at the two guards. "I wonder if it counts as a pass if we trash the guards," she said out loud. "The illusion is skilled, so I suspect these two are not front line combatants, and we are." She leaned down and patted Lee on the shoulder in a friendly manner. "And from what I have heard, your team is just as good at crushing faces as we are, Lee-san. Maybe we should crush faces together."

Lee jumped up and gave Sakura his sensei's trademarked "Number 4 Smile with Thumbs", his face slightly reddened with a blush. She was gorgeous, a wild and free woman. He could see the strength in her arms, her legs, how she carried herself. Her hair flowed like the mane of a lion down her neck and half way down her back. But her eyes, her eyes were the most attractive, because in those eyes he saw the fires of youth! "I am Rock Lee, Konohagakure's Wild Green Beast! You must be the Sakura-san that Naruto is always talking about!"

Sakura smiled and nodded.

"Let's date! I will protect you until I die!" He looked at her shoulder, where Kirei was sitting, watching him in a bored but bemused manner. "And you have such a pretty pussy too!"

Sakura blinked. Naruto and Sasuke both ducked.

"You… you do not know much about talking to women, do you, Lee?" Sakura heard Tenten laugh in the background, and saw the boy with the long brown hair who was standing next to Lee grunt in annoyance, so much like Sasuke did that Sakura had to fight to keep her face straight.

"No, Sakura-san, but together we can learn!"

Sakura lashed out without warning, and bludgeoned the green clad idiot on the head with her fist, although she was careful to do so lightly. "As if I need protecting! I am Konohagakure's Wild Growing Cherry Blossom! I don't need a protector! My foes need them!" She saw the downcast look on his face and decided to show a little mercy. She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a smile. "But thank you for the offer. I am sure, in time, you will find someone who needs a guardian as spirited as you, and when you do, I am sure you'll guard her well." She was certain that would be enough to deflect his interest.

She was wrong.

"YOSH! Then I shall defend your honor from all comers! Let every man in Konoha know that to date Sakura-san, you must first defeat… ME!" Lee roared this to the heavens above, which was quite a short distance, as they were inside a school, and the ceiling was quite close. But shout it he di, none the less, for if he must be a spurned love interest, he would be the best sort of spurned love interest! To be any less would be… _unyouthful_!

Every person, from the cold eyed Neji to the deeply mortified Sakura, to the guards, who had watched the entire event play out in shocked silence, shared a moment to palm their faces together. The only exception to this was Naruto, having met Lee before and knowing how outright _youthful _the boy could be. He would never admit it, but he was trying to memorize that speech, for the next time Sakura turned him down for a date, if only to amuse himself.

Sasuke sighed. Having everyone afraid of Sakura going into the exam would have been useful, but now, all he could hope for was some minor trace of empathy from those who observed this little moment. "C'mon, Sakura, Naruto. We may as well get to the right floor and find a seat." He walked away, giving Neji and Tenten a nod in passing, and getting one in return from the girl. Neji, meanwhile, seemed quite distracted, largely ignoring his surroundings to stare into the distance. Sasuke shuddered slightly and waited for his friends to catch up.

As they walked down the hall, Sasuke leaned in slightly, and said quietly, "Watch yourself if we end up fighting the brown haired boy. He's a Hyuga, like Hinata, but he is also… unpleasant. I know Tenten would not deliberately cripple us in a fight, and I doubt Lee would hurt his sweet Sakura-san," Sasuke paused to duck her swatting hand, and smiled, "but he might go all out. If our teams have to fight, focus on him first."

Sakura and Naruto nodded, and their eyes held the same message to Sasuke, one of understanding. He had not talked much about his third training partner, but that was telling enough, considering his comments on meeting someone like the old him.

* * *

The stares of the older applicants when the team stepped into room 301 were intense and suspicious. Team Seven grinned and waved cheerily at the crowd. _You're young,_ Kakashi had warned them when they decided to take the exam, _you'll be immediately singled out as an easy target. Show no fear. Make them think again._

"Sasuke-kun! You're late!"

Sasuke spun and stepped back, neatly evading the blond girl trying to jump on him. Naruto grinned to himself and neatly stepped into the hug, whirling the girl in a short circle. "Ino-chan, you gave me a hug! And today, when I'm going to become a chunin! Does this mean we're going to date?" He released her when she shouted and swung a fist at him, ducking the blow and shaking his head in faux sorrow.

_Ino_, Sakura thought with a grimace. She had seen Ino once or twice in the last few months, and the girl seemed as childish and vain as ever. Sakura had been surprised to find herself thinking that way, but then, she had grown up a great deal, hadn't she? Sakura doubted Ino had faced a deadly challenge yet. _And now, she might get herself killed, if she's not careful._

"Back off, Naruto-baka! I'm here for Sasuke!" Ino's sharp words and tone turned sickening sweet as she turned to Sasuke, who was warily watching the crowd. "I haven't seen you in a while, Sasuke-kun! I've been waiting just for you!"

Sasuke grunted, just so, and Sakura heard it for what it was, a complete lack of interest, the same thing he used to do to her and Naruto before they were a team. She felt a little warm pride flowing through her, because she had not heard that grunt in weeks. She was worth talking to, which put her a step above every other fangirl out there.

"Ino, maybe you should be careful."

"Shut up, Forehead! I'll do do what I want!" Sakura's eye twitched, and she shut up. Ino would just have to hope her team mates could save her when the others attacked, because Sakura decided she'd do nothing to help the girl, who was still shouting insults at her.

In short order, the rest of the Konoha rookies had gathered. Sakura and Kiba shouted greetings, and started arguing about whose companion was growing faster, while the two animals shared a look of quiet dislike. Naruto tried to talk to Hinata, found her unresponsive (and a slightly frightening shade of red,) then gave up and started chatting with the Lazy Duo, as he still called them from school. And Shino quietly watched, with pity in his eyes, as Ino badgered Sasuke unceasingly.

Eventually, an unfamiliar gray haired shinobi approached them and advised them to be quiet. Naruto shared a look with his teammates, who both nodded, then promptly flipped the other shinobi off. Not just the gray haired one, all of them, rotating in place to ensure every single potential chunin in the room was covered by his twin birds. "If you're the kind of coward who needs to pick on rookies, you're gonna be an easy mark! So bite me!"

_And now, I'm the target for every scumbag in the building who comes for us._ Naruto grinned at the thought. Sasuke had talent and tools, Sakura had strength and Kirei, but Naruto had stamina, and if they were going to mess with anyone, it would best to have them focus on him first. Guy had explained how tanks worked in infantry battles, and the idea had made a lot of sense to Naruto. Let the guy who can shrug off blows take the blows, let the others do the damage.

The gray haired shinobi stared at Naruto for a moment, then shook his head and walked away. And somewhere in the crowd, one particular shinobi took note of that reaction, and started to watch carefully. He gave another shinobi near him an accidental nudge, then apologized as the nudged shinobi walked away.

Dosu, the shinobi who had been nudged, hunched his shoulders under the white ruffle on his cloak and turned to his companions. "The loud mouth seems to think he is something special." His bandaged wrapped face shifted slightly as he smiled, and his one visible eye glinted with malice.

"Maybe we should go say hello, one shinobi to another," said Kin, the female of their group. She was the picture of a normal woman, not particularly striking or ugly, just another face in the crowd. The darkness hidden behind that plain face was an unpleasant surprise to some, but to her teammates, it was a useful talent.

"Sounds amusing enough to be worth it," said Zaku, their third member. He grinned at the short blond genin and clenched his fists. Dosu could hear, on the very edge of his sense, the sound of air whistling through Zaku's arms, as the boy quietly tested the holes in his arms to ensure they were working.

"Me first," said Dosu, pulling back his sleeve to reveal the over sized, clunky arm guard he wore. The arm guard was full of carefully placed holes, in a pattern that had taken a great deal of experimentation to get just right. He knew it was right, because he had tested it many times on the... special recruits. And when he got it right, his master had tested it on him, to ensure he knew the exact effects.

They darted forward, almost unfollowable as they passed through the crowd of applicants. Kin and Zaku paused at the edge of the crowd, while Dosu pressed on, bringing his arm up to strike. Naruto saw the strike coming, saw that it would fall short, so he remained where he was, arms crossed, and smirked as Dosu's fist grazed his nose. His smirk remained until he opened his mouth to talk smack and felt his body convulse slightly. He heard a terrible ringing noise, his eyesight blurring slightly, and his stomach began to rebel.

He clenched his fists and tried to hold back. _If I give in, it's a sign of weakness. I will.. not… oh crap!_ He could feel his stomach rolling, and knew he had lost the fight with it, but he refused to look away, to turn his eyes from his foe. So he did the only thing he could. He stared at Dosu, opened his mouth, and spewed on him. He had chosen ramen for breakfast that morning, a special treat for the exam, and the torrent of liquid that came out of him thoroughly drenched the shinobi in front of him.

Dosu stared at the blond, noodles dripping from his face mask, his breath coming in gasps through the filthy and waterlogged bandages that covered most of his face. Zaku and Kin stepped forward, as did Sakura and Sasuke. After a moment, Lee stepped forward as well, his eyes sparkling, and after another moment, Shikamaru sighed and did the same, mumbling to himself.

Suddenly, a deep voice roared out from the front of the class, calling them to their seats. Most of the others turned away, grumbling at the loss of entertainment, and many of them now slightly concerned about the loudmouth blond genin who literally puked in another shinobi's face. Many of them missed Dosu's parting glare, and all of them missed Naruto's grin

* * *

"Pshaaa," said Naruto, stretching his arms and grinning. "Easy test, that's all that was."

Sakura laughed and gave him a swat on the shoulder. "Sure. I saw you sweating bullets in there, Naruto. If that was a real exam, you'd have failed us all, and you know it!" The team was wandering towards Ichiraku Ramen, on a slow and casual path that fooled none of them as far as the final destination was concerned, and they were sharing a laugh, because the test had ultimately come down to a test of nerve, the one thing that all three of them possessed.

In truth, Sakura had been deeply worried until the final question. All three of them had figured out, quickly, that the test was a test of their ability to cheat. Sasuke had his Sharingan eyes, able to pick up any detail, and Sakura had Kirei, who had glanced casually around the room and started tapping out coded answers quietly on her back with her tail. But at first, she had worried about Naruto, who they all readily admitted was not the fastest on the uptake at times, and had continued to worry even after he returned from his restroom break with a satisfied grin.

"Not true," argued Naruto, snorting and looking away. "Hinata-chan offered to let me copy her test, and I did have a look before I went back to my own test, in case my clones failed." Naruto had gone to the bathroom almost immediately after the test started, and while the instructor who escorted him gave him very little privacy, it was enough to set up a couple clones, carefully henged into little pink pucks and dropped into the urinals, to go look up the answers in the library under the guise of a couple random genin he had seen around before but not involved in the test.

"Ohhh, she did, did she?" Sakura smirked at Naruto. "Maybe you should do something to thank her, Naruto. She did take a risk to keep you around."

Naruto nodded, his face serious, almost contemplative. After a few moments, he smacked his fist into his palm and his eyes brightened. "I'll introduce her to Rock Lee! I bet they'd get along real good!"

Sasuke sighed deeply and shared a look with Sakura. _How is he that socially inept,_ he thought, watching the blond take off at a run, screaming in glee, when they turned the corner and came within view of the ramen shop. He glanced at Sakura after that thought and saw her looking at him with a insufferable grin on her face, a grin perfectly matched by the cat on her shoulder. _Ok, fine, I'm not one to judge, now get out of my head._ Sakura did not say a word. Her grin said it all, and it did not fade, even as they ducked into the ramen stand and ordered.

* * *

Kakashi looked up at the door moments before it opened. He and Kurenai had been playing a card game with Asuma, and because they were shinobi, the real game was waiting to see when he would figure out that they were playing together against him. _And now we'll never know,_ he thought with a sigh.

The door slid open, and Morino Ibiki stood outside the room, staring at them. _Staring at me,_ thought Kakashi. He knew very little about the exam that Ibiki had put together, but he suspected a lot, based off the man's expertise and previous work. It was probably a pressure cooker, designed to scare potential applicants away. Ibiki was head of the Torture and Interrogation Force in Konohagakure for a reason. He was a master at inflicting fear.

"So," grunted Asuma, stubbing out his last cigarette and setting aside his cards a little too casually, as if he wasn't being drubbed by the other two, "How many of ours passed?"

"All of them." Ibiki did not smile, in the least, at that. He just kept staring at Kakashi, cold eyes set in his stony, scarred face.

Kakashi sighed. "What did Naruto do?"

Ibiki's stony glare faltered, and he started to laugh.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I feel slightly bad, glossing over so much of the test, but when nothing changes, you don't really need me there to tell you, do you? The original chapter here was much longer, but it also felt very, very forced. Instead of the long and rather dull full version, I rewrote it as snippets for what actually changed in this version. Pity too, I really rather wanted to write more Ibiki, who is one of my favorites of the tertiary characters. He strikes me as very close to this version of Kakashi, someone who has crafted an image and carefully cultivates it to make himself more effective.

**1979: **I always found it odd that civilians are mostly background clutter in the series, and yet so deeply integrated into the setting. It's rather like having the population of Manhattan move into a CIA complex. I felt that there must be some degree of social separation between the two worlds, and this is what I settled on.


	21. Into the Forest! Sakura has a Plan!

Kieri sauntered through the darkness of late night Konoha, her whiskers twitching slightly. Sakura had been careful to explain her goal, and while it was slightly repugnant, it was also a very good idea for a shinobi to have, and Kieri, above all, wanted to be a shinobi companion. Not that she would ever admit to that level of desire to Sakura. To show that amount of interest would be the same as declaring oneself a dog.

She arrived at her location, the food shop they often went to, the one that smelled of cooked wheat and the delicious fish and beef water she sometimes got out of Sakura's bowl. A few moments spent in stillness, focusing her ears carefully, proved that she had arrived first, so she climbed carefully onto the roof above the closed eatery and curled up to wait.

She has barely comfortable by the time she heard her contact come jogging up the road at a full trot. The fool passed the stand, not just once, but twice, looping around the block a few times as if confused, at one point even lifting his leg to urinate on the building below her. Kieri was a cat, and an intelligent cat, which is precisely why she chose that moment to jump on her contact's back.

To his credit, Akamaru did not make a sound, even as he jumped and turned to bite at the thing that landed on him. He stopped when he saw Kieri sitting patiently behind him, as if she had nothing to do with what had happened, and bit off a growl. When their owners trained, they often trained with their companions at the same time, and in that time the two had found a wary peace between them. Akamaru knew that Kieri could not compare to his strength and endurance, but he also knew that she was smarter than he was, even though it burned him to admit it to himself.

Having noticed the two getting along, Kiba and Sakura had figured out a basic code, a language the two could share to communicate with each other and them, as Kieri did not vocalize like a dog would. The code followed movements that both animals could make, scratches, sniffs, tail wags, anything they could do naturally could translate into a message, as long as they knew it was one, which was always signaled by three taps with a paw.

Kieri tapped three times for attention, then began to scratch herself in a few specific places, her tail moving in long, languid arcs. The message was rough, with only basic verbs and nouns to work with, but it functioned well enough for their needs.

_enter tomorrow. wait for orange. victory allies. victory self._

_tell you pack. tell kunai white eye green skin pack. tell lazy fat pretty pack._

Akamaru resisted the urge to bark, instead nodding to indicate he received the message. Kieri shook her head and patted Akamaru on the head with a paw before taking off.

* * *

Sakura smiled to herself the next day, after the exam proctor, a creepy woman named Anko with purple hair and a loud personality, announced the contest. Each team would enter training ground forty four, the "Forest of Death", carrying one scroll saying either "Heaven" or "Earth." Sakura assumed they would need both scrolls to pass.

_Piece of cake,_ she thought, scratching Kieri's head and glancing at Kiba, who nodded once, as if agreeing to something the examiner was saying, his eyes happening to pass by Sakura at the time.

"You sure about this," whispered Naruto, who was picking at the scratch on his face. The examiner had tossed a kunai at him when he continued his boastful antics from the previous day, carving a tiny cut into his cheek in doing so. She had leaned in to speak intimidating words at him… and Naruto had smirked, having just seen Sasuke palm something from his pocket when she moved in. "We all need scrolls, means we have fewer options to get them."

Sasuke, on the other side of her, snorted, then leaned in himself. "Fewer options, much better odds, Naruto." Sasuke, for one, had stopped watching the proctor, and started watching the tall, thin person who had given Anko back her kunai, holding it in their foot long tongue. Something felt off, as if the person's face was a mask, although he could clearly see the face moving properly when the person talked, and the voice was feminine even as the body shape and facial structure was clearly masculine. It was an unknown, and Sasuke was enough of a shinobi to dislike anything he could not readily recognize.

Sakura nodded, her eyes casually passing over the other examinees. Ino refused to meet her gaze, but Shikamaru noticed her glance and raised one eyebrow and gave a slight nod. Her eyes kept moving, crossing over Lee, who… struck a manly posed and gave her a thumbs up. Sakura frowned at him, then realized she had broken character, stopping her supposed casual glance around and starting at the green clad genin. _If you break character, give observers a reason._ She flinched away from Lee, clutching at Sasuke's arm. She felt him stiffen slightly at the contact, so she leaned in and whispered into his ear, "Sorry, Sasuke, explain later." He relaxed slightly in her grip, and nodded, not taking his eyes off the proctor.

"The exam will last for five days," the proctor was saying, hands on hips, her smile carefree, as if discussing a holiday. "To pass, you must have two scrolls, one of each type. You must bring them to the tower. You must have a full team, a teammate who cannot recover will fail you. You are forbidden from opening the scrolls until you reach the tower." She grinned. "And boy, will it surprise you if you do open them, because the full rules for this challenge are in each scroll, even the secret rules."

_Schmuck bait_, Sakura thought with a grin, and both Naruto and Sasuke snorted at the same moment.

"Each of you will be given a consent form, waiving all liability for your possible maiming or death in this part of the exam. You have a half hour to read the paper. At that time, you may turn in three signed waivers for one of the two scrolls, given at random. Dismissed!"

* * *

"Oh, it's you, shiny forehead girl!"

"Hello, Ino," said Sakura, walking over to Ino's team.

"I thought you had quit," said Ino, smirking.

Sakura rolled her eyes and breezed right past the platinum blond girl, raising a hand in greeting to Shikamaru and Choji. The fa… the chubby boy waved and offered a chip from the bag he had opened. Sakura took it gladly and ate it. The Akimichi family were all rather rotund by design, something to do with their clan jutsu, and they gained that weight by eating the best food in the village. Anyone who did not gain weight just by being in their presence could not be appreciating the food they made. Sakura frowned as she realized that Ino had not gained so much as an ounce of weight, even as Sakura's body had begun to tone up.

Shikamaru smirked at her as she ate. "Never thought I'd see one of the fashionable kunoichi of our class eating snack food."

"Things change, you lazy bastard," Sakura said casually, a smile on her face.

Shikamaru did not deny the accusation. Everything about him spoke of his laze. His hair was pulled up into a knot, making his head look like a black pineapple, simply because it was the easiest way to care for it. His cloths were all dark colored, nothing brighter than a washed out gray, because it made them easier to wash. His lack of effort was famous amongst his former classmates, as was his intellect. Shikamaru was smart enough to become an incredible shinobi, if only he would be willing to make the effort.

"You ready for the exam," Sakura asked casually.

Shikamaru nodded. "Should not take too long to find others, even in such a large area."

"Yeah, maybe a half hour at most, if they are not moving too fast. Even Naruto could find someone in that time."

Shikamaru nodded carefully, and Sakura gave them one last wave before wandering off to finish reading her forms, message given and received.

* * *

Sasuke walked up to Lee, Tenten, and Neji. Lee looked at Tenten, who nodded to him, then turned to Sasuke. "I hope that this challenge goes well for you, Sasuke-san! I would greatly like to face you, should we meet!"

"I am sure we will," said Sasuke, passing by them without slowing. "I doubt it'll take more than a half hour."

"YOSH! I am already filled with the power of youth!"

Tenten rolled her eyes and clapped a hand over Lee's mouth. "Try not to get him wound up, Sasuke-kun," she said, her tone of voice horrified as Lee shook within her grasp. "This is going to be a long five days as it is."

Sasuke paused, and looked at Neji. The brown haired boy stared back, feigning indifference. He looked… tired. Ancient. Like an young man, pushed into an early old age by suffering, his face unwrinkled but his eyes tired from all they had seen. After a short pause, Neji gave a short, stiff nod. "Maybe we will see each other," he said.

"With your eyes, I bet you'll see Naruto well before the rest of us."

Neji nodded again, still stiff.

Sasuke turned to go, then stopped himself. After a moment, he awkwardly gave Neji a pat on the shoulder, which was received without comment. He then walked away, thoughtful, while Neji continued to stare ahead, unmoved.

* * *

"Hey, Hinata! What are you doing here?"

Hinata started when he spoke, he face reddening a little. "I… I just needed time… to think."

Naruto nodded cheerfully. "Makes sense. Scary, right?"

Hinata nodded. "It's a lot to consider. It... will be dangerous."

Naruto laughed, and Hinata turned away for a moment, worried she'd said something embarrassing, that he was laughing at her. "It'll be dangerous for them," Naruto said, smiling. "I bet most of them have never fought a Hyuga before. Give them an extra tap for me when they do!"

Hinata smiled at him, her face glowing slightly with the strength of her blush.

"Hey, I don't know how to say this," said Naruto, scratching the back of his head. Hinata froze. "I mean, Sakura told me what to say when this happened, but I'm no good at this sort of thing." Her face turned a deeper shade of red, her eyes wide, her heart beating fast in her chest. "Anyhow, I need to know…"

"Yes," she whispered, barely daring to breath.

"... Did you guys get the message last night?"

Hinata sighed and dropped her head. "Yes, Naruto-kun."

"Good, good. Sakura says half an hour. I'll find you." He started to walk away, and Hinata turned to hide her dismay, but she turned back to him when he called to her. "Hey, we probably won't fight in there… but if we do, don't hold back, okay?" He turned and gave her a big smile. "I already know you'll kick some ass, but I'll know if you hold back if we end up fighting. So let's both go all out, if it happens. And anyone else, beat the hell out of them." He held his arm out, thumb up, and grinned at her over his shoulder.

He stood there, back to her, his two swords crossed over his shoulders. A cool breeze kicked up, making the trees sway slightly and his hair ruffle. She looked at him, eyes shining, and took his encouragement to heart. _I'll prove myself in this exam, and then he'll see me! It's worth fighting for, right?_

"Yes," she said, and her smile was genuine.

Naruto walked away, slightly weirded out. Every time he talked to Hinata-chan, she got all red and started stuttering. He knew she did the same thing with everyone else, but it was much worse with him. He sniffed at his jumpsuit, curious if she was allergic to his detergent, then shrugged. He still had his consent form to read.

* * *

The moment they entered the forest and lost view of their entry gate, Sasuke called for a pause. He dug into his hip pouch, pulled out the Heaven scroll he'd taken, then tossing it casually to Naruto. Naruto caught it and looked at Sasuke, confused.

"You're more likely to escape if we're cornered," Sasuke said with a shrug, "and I took it from the proctor. If they were spying on us when we did it…" Sasuke had resisted the urge to laugh when he got the scroll. They had come from a test that forced them to cheat the previous day, then had them claim their scrolls with no more security than a sheet across a wooden booth? Ludicrous.

Naruto nodded and stuffed the scroll in his own belt pouch, then stretched. "The plan is still on, right?" When Sakura and Sasuke both nodded, Naruto scratched a circle into the dirt around him, then put his hands together and began summoning clones, in batches of five.

Each clone would pause, make a mark on the dirt aiming in a specific direction, and then take off in that direction. Naruto did not bother to count how many clones he made in total, but he did not stop until the circle had so many lines coming from it that it simply looked like churned dirt. When he was done, he sat in the circle and waited while Sakura and Sasuke got into position to ambush any attackers, just in case someone thought to venture this close to the starting gates.

After a few minutes, Naruto began to speak up, pointing in a direction and saying what they had found and how far away. Sasuke wrote down the information in code while Sakura and Kieri kept watch, their fine tuned sense of hearing making them the best choice in the cover rich environment. "That way, five hundred meters, team from Konoha, not one of our contacts, moving away, did not see me. That way, four hundred and thirty meters, team from Suna, not the creepy guy with the sand, moving away, did not see me." He smiled, then pointed almost at the fence to his right. "That way, two hundred fifty meters, Shikamaru's team, approaching, contact made."

Within a half hour, all twelve of them had gathered, each shinobi watching the forest carefully for threats, even as they discussed the situation. Sakura had also copied out information on another twelve teams, and was sorting through them trying to find likely targets, Kieri perched on her shoulders and acting as her scout.

Neji walked up to her, waiting patiently for her to acknowledge him, then said without preamble, "Can Naruto give details on each of these teams? Visual details?" Sakura nodded, and he flashed a small, self satisfied smile. "Then I can identify who has what scrolls. Security was a joke in the booth where they issued them." Sakura smiled back, and waved Naruto over to start dealing with the list.

"So, we're really doing this," said Kiba from one side of the temporary meeting ground. "We're gonna team up and hunt down the scrolls as a pack?"

Sakura nodded, reaching up to pet her companion. "We might be fine alone, but as a group, we hold all the advantages of our members, plus sheer numbers. We'll rest during the day, with one group dedicated to defense, and each evening, Naruto will send out a search party to find us a target, or two if we can handle it. Show up as a group, take them down, retreat to base."

Shikamaru grunted from where he lay, staring at the sun through the trees. "Faced with twelve of us, almost every team will probably capitulate immediately. Those that do not will either be too dangerous to face in smaller teams, or too arrogant to yield. Either way, we're in the best position." He sat up and rubbed his neck, a little sheepishly. "But there is one troublesome thing. We need to henge Naruto when we go after folks."

"Like hell," said Ino, huffing. "I'm not giving him all of the credit for our effort!"

Sasuke shook his head, and his eyes went cold. "Stop being a child, Ino. Only nuke-nin and dead shinobi want credit for their work, one for more work, and one to tell others how they got themselves killed."

Ino flinched at his cold tone, and Sakura spoke up in that moment of quiet. "It's not credit, its tactics. Naruto will be throwing out a lot of clones when we fight. If we're changed to look like him, it'll be immediate camouflage. When we fight, we'll be using our own abilities, but the foe will not be able to identify which attack can do what. And should the worst happen, his clones can cover for us while we escape."

Naruto looked up where he was sitting, his eyes sharp and his jaw jutting out. "It also means that if any of them get ideas about coming after us to get their scroll back, they'll go for me first." He reached into his pouch and pulled out their scroll, tossing it to Sakura. "That way, if I have none, they can't steal them back, and they'll spend a lot of effort and chakra trying to get to me before they figure it out."

Ino stomped her foot and glowered at every person in the clearing. "I am not fighting as Naruto, and you can't make me!"

Shikamaru shrugged and laid back down in the grass. "You can be on guard duty then."

"Only if Sasuke-kun guards with me!"

Sasuke opened his mouth to shout a rejection, then stopped with a sigh. He did not want to send this team out into the wilds on their own. He highly suspected that they'd get a scroll, but lose after the fact due to Ino becoming incapacitated, if not dead. He bit his lip until it bled, then grunted a sharp agreement to the two of them on guard.

Sakura reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered to him, almost inaudible, with how much Ino was shouting in glee over her assignment. The whole team knew how badly Sasuke wanted to run loose during this exam, picking up as much technique with his sharingan as he could. He had just sacrificed his own goal for the safety of someone who he cared little for, and they knew it.

And in the forest, someone else smiled from their place under the dirt and quietly said to themselves, "Yes, thank you, Sasuke-kun."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Took a while, but I eventually figured out where I wanted to go with this portion of the exams. As I recall, there were no rules against teaming up in the survival part of the exam, so why not do so… IF you thought you could trust the others?

**AntiCreator:** Thank you for the comment on Dan's OC-ness. When I reread the chapter for editing, I felt happy at how that came out. And I do agree, massive over-reaction to the Sunset of Youth always bothered me, as it feels like people are trying to compete for the title of "bestest reaction to that moment."

**depressedchildren: **The "cold opening" for Chapter 19 was deliberate, much like the opening to the "Capture Tora" quest in canon. It is meant to give the impression of a much more serious circumstance, and only eventually to reveal its true purpose as a low key training exercise. If it helps, I will probably not do so again, as they are unlikely to have quite that amount of spare time in the future.


	22. Viper in the Forest! Orochimaru Appears!

**Author's Note: This comment is retained for posterity, as a reminder that yes, your reviews have meaning. The original Chapter 22 was, in my own words, garbage, and the early reviewers agreed. So I rewrote it. If you read this chapter back when it first came out, I ****suspect you'd agree.**

* * *

The combined Konohagakure group moved further into the forest once their course of action was chosen, searching carefully until they found a cave large enough for the group to rest within and screened slightly by the surrounding forest. They settled down to wait, and it only took a few comments from Sasuke to get Ino to stop talking.

"It's to stay safe, Ino-san," said Hinata, who had noticed the other girl fuming after being told to shut up by her crush in no uncertain terms. "Neji-oniisan and I are both watching…" She stopped under the sudden pressure of her cousin's attention.

"Don't call me that," he said from where he was sitting, his back to the rest of them, his voice chill. Everyone turned to look at him, and he stood and turned to glare at Hinata, his eyes narrow, his jaw clenched tight. "Not even in jest. I am not your brother. We are not family in any manner, regardless of our shared name and relatives. I would not be so weak." He turned to Ino, and his jaw loosened a little even as his eyes narrowed further. "We must be quiet because this place is safe, but only for a given value of safe. Giving us away by loudly claiming what an excellent pair you are with a real shinobi has so much irony in it, it goes beyond the humorous and into the horrifying. So shut up." He turned and sat again, putting them out of mind and returning his attention to the forest around them.

Rock Lee opened his mouth to chastise Neji for his lack of manners, then shut it. Hinata-san did not look shocked, or even angry. She just looked sad, staring at her family member with eyes that shone with unshed tears. He clenched his fists, the fires of youth burning in his heart, and swore that the next time they fought, he would show the Hyuga the proper way to speak to those below your own strength, with the respect due to a worthy foe.

The rest of the day was spent in uncomfortable silence, with everyone but Sasuke and Ino catching naps to get ready for the night's work ahead. Occasionally, Ino would get up and sit next to Sasuke, and each time, Sasuke would get up and move to the other side of the entrance. Eventually, she gave up and settled down against the cave wall to watch the forest outside, or rather, to face the forest while watching Sasuke.

After some time, she was shaken from her boredom when Sasuke sat down next to her. He sat with his knees raised high, elbows resting on them, and his hands folded before his face. She turned to him, eyes glittering, her mind conjuring a moment of bliss as their lips touched, here in the dangerous Forest of Death, only for that image to be shattered by the cold look he gave her. There was scorn in his gaze, disdain, and just barely visible behind them, she saw a moment of compassion, and that made his words all the more terrible.

He spoke quietly, barely a whisper, conscious of his sleeping allies nearby. He spoke of the dangers of being a shinobi, and how she had no appreciation of them. He spoke of the responsibility she had for her team and allies, who she regularly dismissed or antagonized. He spoke of her inappropriate desire for attention, of her lack of physical strength, of her completely unsuitable manner and bearing for any duty in the service of Konohagakure. And the entire time, his eyes shone with that same mix of haughty disdain and terrible, cruel compassion. _I understand your weakness_, his mesmerizing eyes said in their own little language. _That does not make it forgivable._

It was all the worse because he, and only he, could really claim the right to judge her on that. If Sasuke Uchiha, the pinnacle of shinobi manhood, would judge her unworthy, how could any lesser shinobi say otherwise?

Eventually he fell silent, a deep silence that seemed to permeate the woods around them. The two of them sat together in uncomfortable quiet throughout the rest of the day, Sasuke looking outwards into the woods, and Ino looking inwards, into herself.

When night finally fell, the others gathered and set off into the woods while the two of them chose shifts to rest. Ino did not say a word to the others, but simply made her way to a corner of the cave and laid down on her side. She refused to talk to stupid Sakura, who was getting all manly and strong, or that idiot Naruto they always hung around with, or that jerk Sasuke who would not acknowledge her. None of them deserved her, so she was sure to deny them her presence as much as she could. As she slowly drifted to sleep, she passed the time telling herself that in a few days this would be done, and she'd have nothing to do with them again.

Sakura short a curious glance at Sasuke, who rolled his eyes and mimed wiping a tear from his face dramatically. She sighed at that and shook her head quietly. It was probably for the best that someone like Ino would not be on the assault team.

* * *

Naruto raised his hand, silently signaling the rest of the Konoha team. He pulled out a pad of paper and quickly wrote down what his clone had passed on to him, then handed it off to Shikamaru, who was working as the leader of the group. He, Choji, and Shino then nodded to the rest and took off in another direction. They had discussed it earlier, and with the entire group seeking out only one target for the night, Shikamaru had suggested that Naruto lead Shino around the forest, marking the other teams with the bugs from his internal hive, permitting him to track their prey without Naruto having to stay up all day spamming clones. Naruto, his eyes slightly heavy, had been quite happy with the idea of doing some light recon and then getting some sleep.

He hated to send Choji away, but it was the optimal choice.

Shikamaru glanced at the note and nodded to himself, then waved the others close. "We have a single team, five hundred meters ahead. Three males, white suits, Amegakure headbands, rebreathers. All three are awake and aware." He thought for a moment, then nodded to himself. "Here's the plan..."

* * *

Oboro looked up from the small fire his team had lit when the orange clad boy stepped into the fire light. "Ohhh," he said, his voice muffled by his rebreather, "It seems we have a guest." Mubi and Kagari, his teammates, stood up and drew kunai, but Oboro waved them off while he stood as well. "Let's hear what the little boy has to say, before we decide to kill him." He bowed to the orange boy and waited.

"I want to give you a chance to yield," said the orange boy.

Oboro shared a look with his team, then started to chuckle. "It's three on one, little boy, or do you have some friends coming to the party?" His eyes glinted in the firelight, and his hand casually drifted to his belt pouch.

In the dark shadows of the nearby undergrowth, Shikamaru crouched and started watching the plan unfold. _Step one: The Leader prepares to attack._

The boy's two teammates dashed out of the woods behind them, both henged to look like him. They ran oddly, scrabbling on all fours like animals, moving deceptively fast. Even as Mubi and Kagari spun and threw their blades, the two were on them. The orange team lunged, low to the ground, lower than most opponents would get, leaving their backs exposed. They slapped at Mubi and Kagari's legs, setting them off balance even as the two of them drew new weapons.

_Step two: The second and third become unbalanced, the leader distracted_.

Oboro turned and raised his own hand, a pair of kunai ready to fly, when he felt a presence approaching from the original's direction. He continued his turn into a spin, arm still raised, then froze in place. He saw a green blur lurch from behind the first contact, which suddenly resolved into a field of green covering his vision, the green fabric of a cloth covered knee just before it struck him in the face with enough force to break his nose. He fell back, his mind and body barely functional as he clung to awareness.

_Step three: Leader down, Second and Third distracted._

Mubi and Kagari saw their leader drop from the corner of their eyes and jumped back slightly, preparing to throw their blades at the strange green clad boy who had just put down Oboro and was now standing calmly, one arm back behind his waist, his other hand raised in a defensive pose. And what was he wearing? He had some ridiculous pair of fake glasses with a big plastic nose and mustache attached. Why would they wear something like that in a fight?

They never even saw the other two orange blurs approaching from the sides.

The two orange boys struck at the same time, a series of delicate taps, on the arms, the legs, the chest. Their arms moving in a blur, almost in sync with one another. Shikamaru grinned in the darkness. Those delicate taps were Juken strikes, direct blows to the opponent's chakra systems, each blow followed through by a slight output of the striker's own chakra to close off that pathway. There was no blocking that sort of move, and neither of the remaining foes had enough time to figure that out before they dropped.

The forest paused for a section, silent save for the snap and pop of the fire. After that moment, seeing all three opponents down, the original boy stomped his foot and dropped the henge, revealing an angry looking Tenten. "I didn't get to do anything," she said morosely, gesturing to her still untouched scroll.

Shikamaru stepped out, shaking his head. "That was the plan, Tenten. You only had to defend yourself, and only if one of the others failed. What wasn't in the plan was Lee standing in the open. You were supposed to hide after you took down the leader, Lee."

"I am not Rock Lee," said the green clad genin loudly. "They would never recognize me through this disguise, bought for me by my own Guy-sensei years ago! Now I am Rokku Lee, mysterious ninja!" He paid no mind to the stares he was getting from the rest of the group when he reached up to adjust the fake nose. His mind was too busy admiring his new disguise. _I knew someday I would use them, Guy-sensei!_

In his mind, he could almost hear his teacher's response. _Truly, it is the gift of the springtime of youth, to retain such a thing for years until it is needed! Only the most strong and passionate youth could show such patience!_

_Guy-sensei!_

_Lee!_

Tenten sighed at she watched Lee think, his eyes sparkling. She knew that look. Any moment now, Lee would be imagining a sunset. "Hey," she said, leaning towards Shikamaru with a big grin on her face, "You said you wanted a distraction. I think we can check that part off."

Shikamaru sighed. "I'll turn down any promotion I get offered. This is too troublesome."

As they went through the fallen shinobi's goods, Neji looked over at Hinata. "I admit, I was surprised to see you keeping up with my strikes, Hinata. You are not as weak as I thought you were."

"Thank you Neji-o... Neji-san." Hinata blushed quietly at her slip, but she remained focused on their surroundings, using the three hundred and sixty degree vision of her eyes to scan for additional foes. Neji grunted to himself and gave her another point in his head for being suitably focused for a shinobi.

"We are not family, or friends, or even real allies," he said coldly. "But know this, I at least will not underestimate you now."

Hinata turned her head and nodded to Neji, even as her eyes kept moving. Unbeknown by him, he had just given her the highest compliment she had ever received from a family member since her mother died, and even if he was cold about it, she would not forget.

* * *

Sasuke woke with a start, his eyes darting around. The cave was silent, the fire reduced to mere embers. Outside, he could see only vague shapes of the forest in the meager moonlight that filtered through the trees. He sat up, uncertain why he was awake and unable to sense Ino, who should have been on guard.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke was already moving to one side, rolling in the dirt, just inches ahead of the kunai that hit where he had lay. As he completed his roll, his arm swept out, throwing his own kunai at the darkness in the back of the cave, following the trajectory of the attack he had dodged. His eyes turned red, and he watched as the blade flashed out and stopped in mid air, hovering as if caught in a shadow.

Then the shadow moved, and Sasuke realized it had indeed been caught.

"Hardly a kind way to greet a friend, Sasuke-kun. One might say you were unhappy at my arrival." The strange man with the feminine voice he had been watching during the introduction to the forest stepped out of the deeper darkness of the cave, casually twirling the kunai he had caught. "It's possible you don't even want the gift I brought for you."

Sasuke tucked into a forward roll as the man tossed his kunai back at him, the weapon whistling through the air with the force of the throw. He dipped his hand into his right pocket and leaped forward, engaging the stranger in melee. This turned out to be a grievous error. The man was strong and fast, dodging Sasuke's blows with an air of indifference.

_Let's see how indifferent you feel now, _thought Sasuke. He jumped high and spun his body, hanging upside down for a moment when the man blocked his kick, and in that moment, his hand shot out, a cloud of glittering dirt flying into the man's face. Sasuke smirked to himself, but that smirk faded when the man grabbed his still extended arm and threw him into the wall at the rear of the cave. Sasuke hit hard enough that his back creaked dangerously, and he barely managed to control his fall to the dirt.

The man tisked, walking forward slightly as Sasuke pulled himself up. "An excellent throw, Sasuke-kun. But your toys will not be enough to stop me." He raised his hand, a tiny flame glowing on his palm, and in that flickering light, Sasuke could see that the man's eyes were unchanged and undamaged. _I know I hit him, I saw his eyes open. There must be a trick to it, some sort of shield or something._ He casually tossed another handful at the man from his right pocket, and again, he made no effort to dodge or block it.

He dipped his hand into his left pocket, and threw another handful at the man. The man sighed as the dust splashed on his face, running down his body. "If that's all you have, Sasuke-kun, than my time here is waste..." He stopped, his jaw closing, his throat bulging and straining. His face took on a grin of pained amusement, and after a moment, he managed to push out a few words. "Contact... Poison..."

Sasuke gave the man a satisfied smirk, shaking his left hand slightly. Even with all of his training and effort to build up an immunity, the paralytic poison in the left pocket was enough to numb his hand completely. Someone like this stranger would be frozen, immobile, for hours, assuming the poison did not overcome them and paralyze their heart of lungs to make them immobile in a more permanent sense. He raised his hand and carefully, slowly made the signs for his plasma lance, his mind already accepting that this was the time and place, his first kill, and a part of him was revolted, while another part rejoiced that his first would not be his brother. "Want to give me your name, before I slay you? Otherwise, I think you're about to become just another dead genin."

The man smiled, and Sasuke felt a sting on his ankle. He glanced down and saw the serpent coiled at his feet, its fangs still in his leg. By the time his eyes flashed back up, he saw the man moving again, calmly, gracefully. "My name is Orochimaru, Sasuke-kun. And I know much about poison." He reached out and tapped Sasuke on the chest, softly knocking the boy over, the snake's venom doing its work already.

"I have a use for you, Sasuke-kun, a wonderful use. And that use is also a gift."

Sasuke grunted, his jaw clenching, and managed a single word. "Ino," he said.

The man laughed. "She was showing such an immense interest in the moon blossoming flowers she found outside that she could not bring herself to leave them. I let my own team go play with her. She is unharmed... for now. We'll see how she is when they are done."

Sasuke raged against his own body, trying desperately to move. He struggled for Ino. He struggled for his own safety. He struggled for his revenge. But the poison held him in its immutable grasp, holding him in the dirt like a child. Eventually, the man leaned down and pulled Sasuke up, into a slouched sitting position.

"You've made quite an impression, Sasuke-kun. I have been watching you for years, and even under the kind and gentle guidance of Kakashi-san, you still manage to keep your killing edge. I wonder why? Could it be so that you'd have it when the time comes to kill your brother?" Sasuke's eyes twitched slightly, and Orochimaru smiled. "I know all about the purge, Sasuke-kun. I can only imagine how that makes you feel. How badly you want revenge." He leaned in a whispered in the boy's ear. "I can help you get that revenge. All you need to is accept my gift, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke managed to twitch his eyes and shoot a baleful glare at the man. "You wonder why I would give you this gift? It's simple, Sasuke-kun. Unlike your brother, I want you to live. I see potential in you, Sasuke-kun. And to maximize your potential..." He opened his mouth, revealing the fangs of a serpent, and his face suddenly lunged, his neck extending in a vivid and unreal manner. He bit Sasuke hard on the shoulder, and the boy's veins filled with molten fire.

The man chuckled as Sasuke's vision started to fade, and the last thing he heard was the man's mocking laughter. "Struggle, Uchiha, struggle and live, as only I want you to."

* * *

**Author's Notes: **As you can see, Neji is not all fluffy and huggy, Far from it. He may have taken the wrong lesson away from Kakashi's efforts.

A reader mentioned "poison vs venom." I cheerfully point out, that error was not made here. Orochimaru explains he knows about poison, which is why he is not deeply affected by it. The snake's injection, however, is properly referred to as venom. Two different subjects.

**Kyle37:** If you're tired of Chunin Exam recycle, then stay tuned. The preliminaries is where it's going to take off running, quietly flipping canon the bird as it goes. I always found the exam to be painful to revisit as well, so I aim to make it stand out, if not for your sake, than for mine.


	23. Moonflower? Ino's in Danger!

Shino, Naruto, and Choji walked through the forest with care. Neither Naruto nor Choji were inclined to use stealth, and in Choji's case, he had little talent for it, but all three of them were very careful to move as quietly as possible away from the clearing they had just passed... and the thing they had witnessed.

Shino paused for a moment, then raised an hand and signaled the others close. "They're moving away from us."

Naruto blew out a sigh. So far, their mission to mark their potential victims had gone well. They had several promising candidates, and Naruto had sent out a few clones to try and find the scroll capture team and inform them where some easy targets were, a set of genin that had just had a tough fight and were weak enough that any one of his allies might have taken the team, never mind the force they had at this time. One of those clones had popped and reported success, and the assault team was moving in.

But in the process of seeking out targets, they had almost become one of them. The three of them had almost blundered into a clearing, and had backed off carefully when Naruto waved them back. Three younger shinobi from Sunagakure were facing off against three genin from Amegakure. This meant nothing to Choji or Shino, but Naruto recognized the Suna genin and was concerned enough to pull the team back, leaving a clone to watch.

"I ran across these three when the Chunin exams were warming up," he explained in the forest. "The girl and the guy in black with face paint were normal, if arrogant. The guy was being a bullying jerk, picked a fight with a kid I know. My team was about to fight with them when the third one with the red hair, Gaara, showed up and threatened to murder his team if they did not stop causing a fuss. And the way they reacted," he said with a frown, "I think he might have been willing and able to do it."

Shino adjusted his glasses slightly. "That does not mean he would win against us, Naruto-san. He might have a specific power over the other two. Or he might have legal power over them. That said, your choice is a good one. Why? Because it is better to know their capabilities if they intend to display them by fighting, and we can always claim them for ourselves if they are weakened."

Naruto and Choji nodded agreeably, then Naruto stiffened. "Scratch that. We're leaving. Now. Quickly." He suited actions to words, leaping away into the woods as fast as he could. When the others caught up, Naruto quickly summoned a trio of clones, who henge into the team and took off to the side while the three of them hid.

It was a tense half hour as they made their way slowly along until Shino informed them that the Suna genin were moving away. "Wait," said Choji, who was frowning, "How do you know they are leaving, Shino?"

Shino nodded once and held out his hand. After a moment a few insects, smaller than his smallest fingernail, crawled onto his hand. "This are female Kikaichu insects. The males within my colony can detect their scent from great distances, and scouts from the colony can track them and report their location."

"You bugged the red haired kid," said Naruto, incredulous.

Shino shook his head slightly. "No. I attempted to, but he managed to kill it without giving it time to send out an alarm pheromone. The other two Suna shinobi are marked as of ten seconds ago, when I got the latest report from a scout. Still heading away from us. The three Ame shinobi are reported as showing no signs of life. What happened, Naruto-san?"

Naruto shuddered as he replayed the memories his clone had given him in his mind. "Gaara killed them. Their leader started a fight, and the kid slaughtered him by crushing him in sand. The other two surrendered their scroll, and he killed them too, as they begged for mercy. Then he spotted my clone and killed it as well." He shook his head, trying to keep the clone's painful death in a crushing grasp of sand out of mind. "We need to tell the others to avoid him. Let's head back."

* * *

Choji was the first to notice the strange glow through the trees only a few hundred feet from their base. It was a light blue color, and seemed to fill the air itself, turning everything they could see into a shade of blue. The three of them crept carefully through the woods, working towards the glow, and with each step they grew more apprehensive, because each step took them closer to both the source of the blue tinted light and their base of operations.

Eventually they reached a clearing and they saw what was causing the blue glow. Ino was kneeling on the grass in the clearing, staring at a single blue flower no larger than her fist. Her eyes were half lidded, her face slack and serene. This was all the more worrisome, because two shinobi were standing next to her, one on each side, crouching within arms reach. Both had a single arm up, two kunai held in one hand. They were as still as Ino, unmoving, but while she gazed languidly at the flower, they gazed at her with the unblinking focus of an animal on the hunt.

Naruto had barely begun to reach for his swords when the two shinobi turned to face him and his hidden teammates. They both gave him a small and mirthless smile before returning their gaze to Ino.

"I am Mamushi," said the one on the left, still unmoving. "I wait patiently for my prey to come to me. If she moves, I strike." His attire was simple, a basic shinobi outfit, but instead of a dark black or blue color, his outfit had a brown coloration interspersed with occasional vertical stripes in a pale yellow tone. His head and face were covered with a mask of the same material, his eyes by dark lenses.

"I am Habu," said the one on the right, also unmoving. His outfit was much the same as Mamushi's, save that the yellow toned sections were circular, encompassing large patches of the darker material. "I seek out my prey and visit them with death. If she does not move, I strike."

After a moment, Naruto stepped out, swords drawn. "So, one way or another, you intend to kill her?" Both nodded at once, a single slow movement of the entire head. "And if I have a spare scroll to give you, would you be satisfied and leave her alone?" Both shook their heads, in the same slow, precise manner. "Is there anything I can do, just short of killing you, that will stop you from hurting her?"

Both shinobi slowly shook their head, and Habu turned his face to Naruto once more. "It is on you to determine which is best. Mamushi will give her the smallest of pricks, barely enough to feel, and she will die quickly and painlessly from his strike."

Mamushi turned as well. "Habu will strike ferociously. It will be painful, and undoubtedly lethal, but she will have the delusion of fighting her fate, and perhaps gain comfort from that notion. It is on you to choose, as our leader demands. Choose now or have the choice taken from you." Both leaned forward slightly, preparing to strike, their arms raising.

Four short swords flew out of the bushes to either side of Naruto, pinwheeling at the two foes. Only two people throw a weapon as unbalanced as a sword, either an idiot or very competent and practiced shinobi. Habu and Mamushi spun away, just far enough to avoid the spinning swords, and they both hissed in fury when they realized that the swords were literally pinwheeling, spinning on all of their axis, barely a threat. They continued their spin, arms flashing at the entranced kunochi, only for Naruto to block both swings with his own blades, carefully placed to slice between their two kunai and into their hands if they pushed the attack. They pulled their hands back and struck again at different angles, both still trying to strike Ino, and both failing as she was dragged away by several Naruto clones who passed her along as if she was part of a bucket chain.

Naruto spun, his swords flashing in an elaborate pattern, and broke away from the two enemies, who stood strait and watched him with an eerie silence. They shared a look between them, and Habu chose to speak. "You have no real talent with swords, do you, Naruto-san? That was a very flashy move there, but it was also very poorly executed."

Naruto laughed. "Believe it if you want, but I know more about swords than... wait." Naruto looked at the two of them, who were unmoving, their arms not even raised to defend themselves. "How the hell do you know my name?"

"We know plenty about you, Naruto-san," said Habu, stepping away from his companion, spreading out a little to prepare to fight. "We observed you carefully during the previous phase, as well as using the intelligence data our leader gave us. We are not here for the little kunochi, we are here for you, to test your mettle." He raised his arm, his body held sideways to present a slimmer profile. "There is only one way for this to end, Naruto-san."

His swung his arm from where he was, ten feet away, but something about his move made Naruto nervous, and the blond jumped to the right, barely avoiding the strange blur that was coming at him so suddenly. He still managed to keep an eye on Habu, and he rolled away to his left as the blur lashed out again. This time, he observed Habu's arm elongating unnaturally, stretching out in a fluid manner. Habu swung that arm like a whip, and when the two kunai in his hand hit the ground, they were buried to the hilt.

Mamushi meanwhile stood back from the two fighting shinobi, his stance easy and relaxed. He watched the fight patiently and with a great deal of interest.

Naruto rolled again to the left to avoid another stroke, this time coming to his feet at the end of the roll, smiling at his good fortune. Something so simple as a extending arm was no challenge at all. He lowered his arms and waited for the next stroke, a long sideways lash. He laughed in triumph and brought his swords together, lunging for the extended limb, ready to draw the blades across one another like a giant pair of scissors. He managed to reach the arm, but when he tried to go for the cut, he was unable to move his swords. He looked down and saw that Habu had reached out with his other hand and had grabbed both handles, his fingers contorting like his arms to wrap around both of the hilts and keep them still. "Gahh, that's creepy!" he shouted, flinging his arms up violently, tossing his swords far over Habu's head to land on the forest floor behind him. Naruto opened his mouth to shout, then shut it quickly while tumbling to the right again to avoid another strike. He tumbled along in the same direction, avoiding each strike as it came, smiling to himself and making certain to periodically steal a quick, almost unnoticeable glance at his dropped swords.

Almost unnoticeable.

* * *

Mamushi crouched in the forest and circled slowly through the ground cover, circling around the fight. His clone, a basic technique that was incapable of fighting or even interacting with the world around it, was doing a good job of remaining visible and drawing attention to itself with its nonchalance, the perfect cover for him to slip away and hunt for Naruto's teammates. He passed carefully through the bush, brushing the leaves back slowly and carefully with his arms, making no noise as he searched.

In short order, he saw the two of them, the short fat kid and the taller, skinny kid who was wearing sunglasses even in the dark of the night. He pulled out a kunai and pulled his arm back to throw it, but the skinny kid turned and looked directly at him, in spite of his concealment.

"You have already lost, Mamushi-san," the kid said quietly, with a degree of cold certainty one usually got from teachers reading from science textbooks, of indisputable fact made real by the very laws of nature. Mamushi smirked slightly under his mask and stepped forward out of cover.

"You think little of me, young one," he said, activating his Killing Intent and sending it out at the two. The Killing Intent technique was simple, so much so that it required little chakra and no hand seals. All it did was push the little part in every creature's brain that whispered in their ears when danger was near and told them to flee or die. Mamushi, like most Otogakure shinobi, was well accustomed to its use, and was quite skilled with it. He smiled to himself when the fat kid flinched and turned pale... then he frowned. The skinny kid did not flinch. He simply stood there, staring at Mamushi, his expressions covered by the collar of his coat.

"Yes," the kid admitted, turning his body slightly to fully face Mamushi, his arms still in his pockets. "I think little of you. Why? Because for all your obvious experience and skill in fear and stealth, you failed the most important skill, that of observation." He raised one arm, holding it out, and Mamushi watched with mild interest as a tiny bug crawled out of his sleeve and stood on his fingertip, waving a pair of feelers around. "As soon as we spotted you, I sent out my friends to cover the area and watch for foes who sought to use stealth against us. They noticed you when you passed through that bush... and I ordered them to act accordingly."

Mamushi shuddered in sudden fear, because nothing invokes existential dread in a shinobi like realizing that they had walked into a trap without noticing. He raised his arm to throw his kunai, then froze, partially with the sudden sensation of exhaustion that simple act caused in him, but also in surprise at the large number of insects he could see crawling on his arm. Each one was the size of his smallest fingernail, beetle shaped with a thin and dull black shell. _I never even felt them_, he thought to himself as he stumbled and fell to the ground, his body exhausted as he chakra was consumed by the swarm.

"Be ready to assist Naruto," Shino said to Choji while his friends fed on the fallen shinobi's chakra. "You'll know when." Choji tore his gaze away from Mamushi with a quick jerk of his head, looking at Shino, his eyes still wide with fear. After a moment though, his eyes narrowed, and he nodded and gave a small grunt of agreement, very quietly.

Shino did not smile in victory. He did not celebrate, inside or out. He watched carefully, and when Mamushi stopped moving, he recalled his swarm, content to disable his foe instead of slaying them. _Death is easy given and impossible to take back,_ his father had said when Shino received his first hive. Shino had the respect of life held by those who knew how dangerous a weapon they carried, and felt no need to act rashly.

But Shino was a very thoughtful and serious young man, so he left a few of his swarm on the man, just in case.

* * *

Naruto rolled to his right one last time, and saw that he was in position, finally, his swords one more roll away. Habu was excellent in his technique, lashing out with surprising speed and ferocity, often without any sort of tell on his moves. He simply went from stationary and still to all out attack, a sudden flash of movement without warning.

Naruto avoided the attacks only for two reasons. The first was that he had no real taijutsu style, something Guy had worked hard to encorage. He had learned from Guy not how to fight in stylized movements, but how those movements worked, and from there, how to use the same principals for any move. He had some tells, but far less than that of a shinobi with a specific style of combat like Hinata. He also fought against himself frequently, and was well used to opponents who were unpredictable.

The second reason he was alive was his clones. He had made several before leaving the bushes, and they waited for him to need help, quickly using the Body Replacement technique to swap with the real Naruto before a surprise blow would hit. It was uncomfortable, being tossed around the battlefield by his clones, but each time, he gained the knowledge of the strike that hit him, and he would charge back into the clearing, always careful to head to the right, towards his fallen swords.

Finally on place, he smirked at Habu and then dove for the swords. His hand grabbed one of the hilts just in time for Habu's hand to wrap around his own. "You cannot think I did not notice your moves, your careful glances, as you tried to get back to your swords, Naruto-san."

Naruto smiled and used his other hand to grab Habu's wrist. Habu frowned and sent his other arm out, kunai ready. Naruto dropped his sword and caught the incoming hand, stepping into the attack to give himself enough time to catch the wrist instead of the blade. He then rotated both of his arms at the elbow, wrapping Habu's flexible arms around his own, and grinned."Did you notice that Mamushi is missing?" he asked innocently.

Habu opened his mouth to taunt his foe, but the sky suddenly darkened. He looked up to see a spinning ball of green and brown briefly eclipse the moon before falling upon him with crushing force.

Choji's Human Bullet technique was a thing to behold. His body, blown up to many times its original size and mass from his clan's techniques, and spinning at more than ten revolutions per second, made for a great deal of force applied to a relatively small area. In this case, that area started with Habu's face. Habu's body was smashed into the earth, and as the spinning continued, he was ground into the dirt and then flung away, sailing dozens of feet until he hit a tree, his arms slowly coiling around him as they, too, were drawn under Choji's bulk. Choji only stopped when Habu's hands released Naruto and slipped under his rolling body.

"Yatta!" Naruto ran up and gave Choji a high five. "That was perfect!" he shouted, dancing in a small circle, "I knew you'd spot the opening when I dove for the swords!" Shino joined them, Mamushi over his shoulder, and the three of them advanced to check on the fallen Habu, who was starting to stir.

"Wait," Habu said, waving his hand as his arm slowly reverted to normal, causing him to grimace. His body and clothes looked like they had been put through a thresher, blood and broken bones quite evident, all the more so when his arm was back to normal size and yet still bent oddly. He used the better of his arms to reach into the tattered remains of his clothing and pulled out a Heaven scroll, rolling it onto the dirt halfway to the team, who all stepped back cautiously. "You have won, and my mission is complete," Habu said, grimacing as he stood. "I was to test you, and it is done. I cannot fight further with any sort of effectiveness. Please let me collect my teammate and go."

Shino frowned. "You are not here to become a Chunin," he stated flatly.

Habu shook his head gingerly, as if he was worried that his neck was damaged. "We were here to get an idea on how Naruto-san and Sasuke-san fought, and no other reason. We have tested Sasuke already, you will find him in your cave. Your female teammate was bait, nothing more."

Choji glanced back at Ino, who had wandered back to the blue flower and was once again kneeling in front of it. "Smash the flower," said Habu, "and she will return to her senses. The Moonflower trap is a genin-level test in Oto, and will not harm her or anyone else." He saw the look on Naruto's face. "I will crush it for you, if you do not trust my words."

Naruto shook his head and sent a clone to help Ino before turning to the others. Choji shrugged and pulled out a bag of chips, content to leave the decision to Naruto. Shino looked at Habu and Mamushi, then said, "I am content to leave the decision to you, Naruto. I am not inclined to kill these two. Why? Because we have won, and should they consider attack again in the future, the odds would be even better for us, making them a non-threat."

Naruto nodded, and turned to Habu. "Take your friend and go, and we'll call it even." His face slowly stretched into a big smile. "And when you get home, tell them Uzumaki Naruto is a badass, but a fair badass! That was a good fight!"

Choji and Shino's eyebrows rose, and neither spoke up, but they thought the same thing. _So now we're nothing but sidekicks. _They would have argued, but Naruto's clone crushed the flower, and Ino started to scream.

* * *

The rest of the Konoha group returned to the cave to find a comatose Sasuke, a crying Ino, and one less scroll to retrieve.

* * *

"You need to quit."

Naruto looked up from where Sasuke lay and stared at Shikamaru.

"You need to quit, Naruto. Sasuke is in a lot of pain. He might be dying."

"Like hell we will," said Naruto, slowly standing up, fists clenched. "I'm not a quitter. None of us are. If we're going to lose, we'll go down swinging." His entire body was taut, like a violin ready to be played, and the melody was not one that Shikamaru wanted to hear. Naruto looked ready to explode, and the way he kept glancing to the back of the cave where Ino lay, Shikamaru could easily guess who would be the first target if Naruto broke.

Sakura laid a hand on her teammate's shoulder. Her eyes were rimmed in red from her tears, her face sallow and tired, but then, she had every right to be tired. It had been nearly a day since the strange man had bit Sasuke, and she had yet to sleep. Kieri was not with her. The cat had curled up at Sasuke's side and refused to leave him. "Naruto," she said, "we need to keep him safe."

He reached out and brushed her hand off his shoulder, his face set. "And how will he feel when we tell them we lost because of them? Will Sasuke be happy we quit for his sake?" Sakura flinched slightly and looked away.

"Fuck that," came the quiet mumble from the ground. Sakura and Naruto crouched and saw Sasuke was awake, although his eyes were clenched shut. The others crowded around, interested in what was happening… all but one.

"Do you need anything?" asked Sakura, resisting the urge to hug Sasuke as tight as she could and never let go. His eyes flashed open for a moment, and she saw that his sharingan was active, but even as she watched, the tomoe marks on his iris twitched slightly, and he shut his eyes with a groan.

"I need a blindfold. Whatever the hell it is, it's messing with my chakra. I can't get my eyes to focus."

Naruto looked down at his friend, frowning, then tapped him on the shoulder. "Do we need to quit, teme? We can always kick some ass next time."

"Don't make me repeat myself, dobe." Sasuke grinned slightly, until another spasm wracked his body, causing him to clench his teeth, fighting down the urge to scream. After a moment, the spasm passed, and he unclenched, panting. "It's getting less frequent. I might walk out of here yet. Get the scroll. Kick some ass. Just don't take the whole team with you, I'll…" he sighed in irritation. "I'll need some bodyguards until I can move."

Shikamaru nodded from where he was standing. "We can split in half. I'll go out with…" He stopped as Naruto stood quietly in the center of the small huddle. The blond's eyes were sharp, angry, his teeth gritted.

"I'll get our scroll." There was no room for argument in his voice, not the least bit of give. He turned to Shikamaru. "Turn this cave into a fortress, Shikamaru. I have enough manpower for this. Stay here and protect him." He turned to look at the one figure who was not in the huddle, the one person who had done nothing. "And her," he whispered quietly, his voice surprisingly gentle.

Shikamaru nodded. Once released from the trap, Ino had rushed to find Sasuke... and when she did, she became inconsolable. In the last day, she had not eaten or drank, and the muffled sound of her crying was broken only by intermittent moments of sleep. Nobody had gotten a word out of her, not her teammates, not Sakura, nobody. No amount of recrimination would change anything, and it could easily make it worse. _Still, it's surprising a knucklehead like Naruto would think of that,_ Shikamaru thought.

"I'll go with you," said Shino calmly. "The Hyuga can keep watch here, and I can guide you to a group that are in poor condition, and thus would be better served being disqualified now instead of buried later." Naruto nodded, even as he bit down on his desire to let loose on his own. _Letting your anger rule you is a stupid thing to do,_ Kakashi said to them once_, and stupid shinobi die stupid deaths. _Naruto wanted to lash out, to beat down every foe he could find, and he knew it was displaced anger at his teammate's suffering. And the most important part of that feeling was he knew it for what it really was, and in doing so, he could control his reaction.

"Go kick their ass," said Sasuke on the ground, panting slightly from the latest spasm.

* * *

**Author's Note: **You'll find that my Cursed Seal is... different. It all comes together in the end, and ultimately, it's down to the idea of goals and purpose.

Seriously, thanks to the reviewers for reviewing, even if it's just a quick verbal pat on the back. Yes, it's a tiny non-verbal pat on the back, but it is also encouragement. Nothing encourages creativity like an audience that cheers. Double thanks to those who are pointing out things for me to fix, because I can only read my own stuff so many times before my eyes go numb.


	24. OMAKE BREAK! Side Bets are In!

Kakashi sat quietly in the middle of the bar, pretending to sip sake through his mask and watching the crowd around him shuffle and grunt and yell with a small smile on his face. He was not a party sort of person, nor was he inclined to participate in large, crowded social events, but he could still appreciate them from the outside, as it were, especially when they pertained to the life of a shinobi. And one thing could be guaranteed, across every hidden village and every nation in the world; Whenever two or more people compete, three or more people will be betting on the outcome.

Kakashi actually enjoyed the betting system for the Chunin Exams, specifically, that there was no system. Anyone could bet with anyone, for anything of value, be it money or goods or information. No betting laws were in place, at least not in Konohagakure, beyond the simple rule that to welch on a bet made in good faith was identical to theft, and treated accordingly, which in a hidden village populated mostly by shinobi, generally meant D-rank missions for the value of the debits, a strong incentive for any gambler to stay honest.

So, every time the exams happened, Kakashi would grab a drink and sit quietly in the middle of the maelstrom. He never offered a bet, no matter how much others pressed. But he would accept bets offered to him, and in the process of playing hard to get, he generally got far better odds than he would get pursuing the same bets. As of yet, the only one who no longer fell for that trap within his small circle of friends and acquaintances was Kurenai, who made a bet with him exactly once, and never again.

This year was special, however. This year, he had his own team in the running, made of two previously hopeless cases and a single genius with a reputation for being pig headed. It helped that, with a village full of often bored shinobi, the local records office was filled with people trying to find an edge with public information, and Kakashi had not bothered to update the public files on his little genin squad since he began training them.

He continued to stare towards the exit, watching the crowds outside mill about through the windows. He could feel the man approaching from a mile away, his heavy frame and uneven footfalls playing a song for Kakashi's ears on the carefully prepared floor. It was a bar in a hidden village, and if it wanted shinobi business, like most pars did, there were plenty of ways to keep track of your surroundings.

"Hey... arn't you Hatake Kakashi."

Kakashi turned and smiled at the man, a slightly overweight, middle aged male whose dress and manner told Kakashi all he needed to know. A shop owner, and based on his businesslike attire, some sort of general store owner. "I am," he acknowledged amicably.

"You got that Uchiha kid, right? And the little weak pink girl and the... _thing,_ right?"

Kakashi carefully set his sake bottle down, least he be tempted to use in an unusual manner, such as a bludgeon. This fellow was drunk enough to lose his discretion, which was never wise amongst shinobi, especially one you do not know well. Kakashi smiled to himself, and decided to make an example out of him. "I have Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and the Thingkeeper himself, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Pffffft." The shopkeeper sat heavily across from Kakashi, pointing at him with one greasy finger, each hand movement sloshing some liquid on the table. "I hear from the book keepers that they suck! That the girl is weak, and the Thing spends all of his money on ramen because he's hungry... for blood. Muhahaha."

Kakashi kept his smile firmly in place. _You'd spend all your money on ramen if you couldn't get anything better with the generous payout given to him, I bet._ "I cannot speak on personal matters at this time, honorable shopkeep. It would change the odds for all those betting. Terrible thing to do."

"C'mon... if you believe in them, you'd bet on them! It's betting season!" Kakashi shook his head, and the man leaned in. "Howsa bet. I am willing to bet you ten thousand ryo per genin on your team. I pay for each kid who makes it to the final round. You pay for each kid who does not."

Kakashi took a moment to look thoughtful, then shrugged. "Do you have thirty thousand ryo? I won't bet with someone who's no good for it." The man fumbled for his wallet, and Kakashi smiled under his mask. A shinobi is nothing if not observant, and Kakashi already knew the answer to this one, because the guy had loudly begged for the drink in his hand before approaching. When the man shook his head sadly, Kakashi took a thoughtful pose. "Well, how does this sound. I give you ten thousand ryo per genin on my team who does not make it to the final. You offer me ten percent off of merchandise for the next year for each genin that does make it."

It took some haggling, and some artful encouragement from Kakashi, but the man eventually agreed to five percent per genin. Kakashi wrote out the contract and signed it, and let the man read it over and sign it, before tucking it into his vest, grinning like a thief, which he might as well be. When the man stumbled off to bother someone else, Kakashi pulled out the agreement and smiled as he reread it.

_"I, Hatake Kakashi, while of sound mind, agree to pay to Yasui Kaz the sum of Ten Thousand (10,000) Ryo per genin on my team who does not reach the final round in the current Chunin Exam. I, Yasui Kaz, while of sound mind, agree to grant to Hatake Kakashi, in lieu of money, a Five Percent (5%) discount on all merchandise in my shop per genin who reaches the final round in the current Chunin Exam, for one year after the end of the current Chunin exam. The above has been examined by both parties and found to be correct according to the terms of our bet."  
_

Without a formal betting system enforced by the village, bets were enforced by the community. A shopkeeper who dodged payment would quickly find that the local shinobi were quite adept at covert action, and cared very little for those who did not keep their word. To not follow through would be the same as throwing their business away. And when it came time to settle, the exact wording of the contract was followed.

_Ten thousand per genin on my team verses five percent off per genin, period. The fine print matters, pal, and I have a genin who could use a hefty discount under my guise._ He took another slip of paper out and made a few notes on it. Based on previous exams, he'd be getting a solid forty to fifty percent off from the merchant for a year, depending on how many made it to the finals. _I wonder if Naruto can figure out how to put Yasui-san out of business, reselling his merchandise at a solid profit._ He tucked the note away for later consideration, maybe as a mental exercise for the boy. He needed to keep up appearances, after all, and one did not ponder ones bets while gleefully cackling if one is to appear unwilling to gamble.

He'd had more then fifteen people in the last few days make bets with him, and win or lose, he'd be ahead by the end. A few financial gains, but mostly social gains.

He had bet Asuma his cigarettes for a month against seeing what was under his mask if all three of his genin made it to the finals, and he was quite looking forward to losing that bet if Asuma's team all made it, because the "Another Mask" routine was a surefire hit, and it was getting harder to find someone it worked on. In fact, Kurenai had choked on her drink when Asuma made that bet, but she kept it to herself, managing only a small smile when Asuma wasn't looking.

He'd bet Guy, of course. This year, Guy insisted on betting for Kakashi to wear a suit similar to his own for a day, against having to wear one of his own suits, only two sizes smaller, for a day. Kakashi had carefully noted to himself that nothing in the bet said what day, or that he'd be seen in public on that day. He highly suspected that Guy would end up finding a woman finally after he lost that bet, although considering Kurenai had choked on her drink again at that one, maybe not.

Once he stopped laughing over Naruto's stunt during the "Cheater's Test," Morino Ibiki had bet that if Naruto made it to the final round, he'd eat his headband. Unlike most of those who bet with Kakashi, he had carefully reread the betting contract, after which he smirked, and wrote in a clause allowing him to remove the metal plate he had sewn into it. Against it, Kakashi had gotten a few days worth of training time for the genin, and thankfully, Ibiki did not look nearly as close to that part of the bet. _Or he let it go as worth doing,_ Kakashi thought. For all of his imposing manner, Head Interrogator Ibiki was as sociable and good willed as most people, and it might well be that he saw value in training the next generation.

Kakashi sensed another person approaching and grinned to himself. He had been waiting days for this, patiently waiting at a bar and putting on a show of not caring, solely to draw the attention of his foe. They'd passed him by several times over the last few days, and now they crept up quietly behind his chair, arms raised.

Anko draped her arms over Kakashi from behind, frowning when he did not react to her sudden closeness. "What gave me away," she asked, holding her place and pressing her chest against his back. They'd been playing this game for months now, and as of yet, she had not managed to sneak up on the more experienced jonin.

"You avoided the front door, and made no sound on the floors, but three things gave you away." Kakashi pointed forward, and Anko leaned into him to follow his line of sight, coincidentally pressing herself even tighter against Kakashi. Her face went from a frown to a scowl when she realized he was pointing at the window, not through it. She could see their reflection on the glass clearly. "First, I was watching for you. Second, no matter where you go, people talk quietly when you pass, something I am sure can be attributed to your... great personality."

Anko grinned and tightened her grip on Kakashi. "I'm sure you didn't look at my... great personality, when you saw me coming up behind you, either." Her mesh top did little to conceal her chest, nor did the long coat she wore open at all times, and Anko knew it was generally distracting to others, both for those who found her style uncouth, and for those who found the style not quite uncouth enough. She knew it, and Kakashi knew it, and for all that he played the part of the pervert, she had yet to catch him actually checking the goods. She wasn't sure if he was not looking out of respect, or he was just so good she didn't catch him at it, but even knowing the real contents of his ever present book, she had her own ideas on the matter.

It was a grand game, a battle of perversion between two of Konohagakure's most overtly inappropriate people, and the best part of the game was that nobody else really knew the rules, although they both suspected Kurenai had some idea what was going on. Anko did her best to make Kakashi look like a pervert, Kakashi did his best to make her look ineffective against even such a legendary pervert as himself, and both worked as hard as they could to make as many people uncomfortable as possible in the process. What fun.

"So," she said, leaning into his ear and speaking quietly, "What was the third thing that gave me away? A dowsing rod?" She nibbled his ear slightly and grinned to herself when she heard the sound of at least two glasses hitting the floor nearby.

"Nonsense," said Kakashi, leaning back and giving her a dull look. "The third thing was, I knew you'd get desperate enough to approach me eventually."

Anko sighed and sauntered around the table. She grabbed a chair and spun it around, smoothly straddling it and counting the scooting chairs and sudden held breaths as more then a few folks watched. "I want to make a bet with you." Kakashi nodded politely for her to talk. "For each student of yours who fails, I get to take one piece of clothing off of you. For every student who passes, you get to claim something of mine." She casually flicked her coat open and gave Kakashi a smile that was completely genuine, if only for the gratifying spit take one of the civilians behind him made when he saw that move.

Kakashi shrugged. "You're still trying to get my cloths off, I see. But why would I bet? You've been throwing yourself at me for weeks now. If you haven't got them off me yet, you're not getting them on a bet where I have no stakes. Maybe you should try someone who's more desperate then I am."

A small circle opened around them, to the sound of every chair within reach being skillfully slid away, because it was a shinobi bar, which means that the clientele were usually aggressive, drunk, and more then willing to use their surroundings as weapons, and Anko had a reputation for all three.

Kakashi held up his hands peacefully, grinning under his mask. _Here we go, this is going to be great._ Kakashi was a good shinobi, and as such, his intelligence gathering skills were excellent. He knew that Anko had met up with the other jonin who had teams in the exam, and he'd managed to learn where this bet was going before she approached him. He had spotted the other jonin in the crowd earlier as well, so the timing was perfect. He was about to make so many points in their little game. "Maa, maa, before you get all angry, how about a trade?"

Anko frowned, little warning bells going off in her head. "What trade?"

"We split the average. You give me two items of clothing, and I'll give you two. Right here and now."

Anko's eyes narrowed. They had agreed that they could not do anything during their games that Kakashi was unwilling to do in front of his students, which means no making him strip down in public, nor him doing the same to her. But not demanding her cloths after this bet would break character, which was also against the rules of their game. She smelled a trap, but backing down would also break character. _Damn him._

She smiled as a thought occurred to her. "If we're doing this publicly, I think the public should have a say. I think they are permitted to vote on what I take off of you."

"And I am sure they'll all agree with what I take off you, in the end, Anko-san."

"Deal," she said, pulling her coat back to give the Kakashi, and the crowd, a show. "Take your pick."

Kakashi looked carefully at her, a single slow once over. To be fair, most of the males and at least a few of the females in the room were doing the same, but Kakashi was doing it as if searching for weapons.

"Your kunai holster," he said with a smirk, to the sound of many, many folks in the bar groaning in frustration.

_Shit,_ thought Anko. She knew that smirk. Kakashi thought he had one up on her, and the sad truth was, when he got like that, he often did. But if she had to lose, she'd get as many points as she could in the process. She lifted her leg, raising it much higher then she had to, and set it on the table to undo her kunai holster, carefully giving herself plenty of time in that pose while the crowd shuffled around to get a good look. She set the holster on the table and slowly lowered her leg. "And what else," she said, setting her hands on her hips.

"Your weapons pouch."

The bar grumbled and cussed as she removed her secondary pouch from her back and set it on the table too. There were no saucy movements for her to make there, and she didn't even try. Whatever his trap was, she must have fallen into it, because he was still smirking, although she had no idea why he wanted her disarmed. _Hell with it, at least I'll make it a pyrrhic victory for him._

She turned to the crowd, sweeping her coat out and open, and bowed to them. "So, having just disappointed you so much, now it is time for your revenge. What shall we remove first?"

There was one shouted answer that dominated every other. More then a few called for his forehead protector, and a few more, including many of the women in the bar, called for his pants. But above them both was the call from every jonin and chunin in the bar, and they called for his mask. _Of course,_ Kakashi thought cheerfully to himself. _Boy oh boy, it's going to be a good night._

Kakashi smiled and shrugged. "Very well, the rules are the rules. If you really want to know, I wear this mask because, behind it, there is a secret." He reached up and hooked his finger into his mask, then pulled it down to reveal...

"Another mask."

It was a credit to his efforts that most of the shinobi in the room said it with him, many of them with the weary chuckle of someone seeing the same amusing joke for the tenth time. But Kakashi distinctly heard the sound of Asuma shouting in confusion. "By the way," he calmly called out casually, "You have now cheated me of my stakes for our bet, Asuma-san. I know this was a setup. I suggest you get your smokes in now, because you're taking a little break after the exams." The crowd laughed, and Kakashi caught sight of Kurenai pumping her fist in victory.

Anko shook her head and turned to the crowd, without theatrics. The next part was painfully obvious, if you knew Kakashi. And the crowd fell for it. "His other mask," they shouted, and while many of the jonin in the crown tried to shout them down, the chunin and civilians far outnumbered them. Anko sighed and turned to Kakashi. "Very well, take off your other ma..." he voice trailed off at the look of horror wrote on Kakashi's face. He looked deeply uncomfortable, and his one visible eye was pleading.

_No way,_ she thought.

Kakashi took a moment to swallow, and turned to the crowd. "The rules are the rules. As much as it... bothers me, I'll take off my mask. But first, I ask that we close the blinds over the windows. I don't want this to leave this room." The various patrons rushed forward, sliding the thick wooden blinds down to block off the view of the street. As they did so, Anko watched Kakashi closely. He made no hand signs, he made no move at all, he simply stood quietly, his face pale and drawn.

_No way,_ she thought again.

As the crowd gathered around, Kakashi looked at Anko. "Are you sure you want this," he asked her quietly, his voice subdued. "I know you wanted to get my mask off in private. Won't this rob you of that victory?"

Anko grinned at him. _I can't believe it!_ "Rules are rules, you said, Kakashi. And I think you weren't prepared for this after all. You should have gone for a henge when people were distracted." She would have even let him get away with it for fun. She actually felt a little bad at instigating this, but he overplayed his hand, and now he'd have to pay. "It's time to see what's really behind your mask, Kakashi. Do it."

Kakashi let out a deep sigh, then raised a shaking hand to his mask. The entire crowd leaned in, and the room went still, everyone holding their breath at this chance to witness the birth of a legend, the tale of how a single bet had revealed the infamous face of Hatake Kakashi. He hooked his finger into his mask, and his one eye turned to Anko. He gave her a wink and a smile, and her jaw dropped.

_You bastard._

He pulled, revealing... a dark green piece of cloth. "Oh, look," he said, grinning at Anko, "another mas-"

* * *

It was worth it.

Even when Anko threw him out of window, the wooden blind slats preventing the glass from cutting Kakashi too much.

Even when the crowd chased him, through the streets for the civilians, and over the rooftops for the shinobi.

Even when the barkeep presented Kakashi the repair bill, after those who stayed behind trashed the place. Apparently, Anko had still been really angry, and stools were shockingly expensive.

Even when Anko chewed him out later for being such a jerk, although she was laughing at the time.

Twelve years. He'd waited twelve years for someone to get to the third mask. And to get to reveal it in front of a massive crowd like that...

It was worth it.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Sorry for the omake in the middle of the story, but I've started some anti-anxiety medication, and the side effects, while mild, are making it hard for me to focus. That should fade in a few weeks, assuming I am able to keep taking them, so my next update may be a little later then usual. Figured I should warn folks about it, rather then instilling that dreaded "dead fic" fear on everyone. So I powered through for this chapter, and it came out as I wanted it to, short and amusing.

For those who are curious, the rules to Kakashi and Anko's game are:  
1) No nudity. Anko's shirt gets a bye out of necessity, but that's it. He does have kids around, you know!  
2) Anko gains points any time she manages to get another person to convey distraction or confusion because of her activities.  
3) Kakashi gains points any time he manages to get another person to convey disbelief or concern because of his activities.  
4) All points for the event are lost if one has to break character.  
5) Points can only be earned in each other's presence  
6) Game suspended on official business.

The game will come up in future omakes, and the above is as close to inappropriate as I'll ever get in this setting.

By the way, thanks for the kind remarks, folks. It's a pleasure to see that those who click on my story are enjoying this.


	25. They Arrive at the Tower!

Karin could not run fast enough.

The chunin exam had been a huge eye opener for Karin. She and the rest of her team had passed the written exam well enough, her chakra sensing technique being precise enough to allow her to imitate the writing movements of those around her, and a simple tap code delivered by her pencil eraser made do for the other two.

Then the tenth question happened, negating all of their hard work, and the exam went downhill from there. The forest was filled with deadly creatures. Her team had been ambushed, she still did not know from what or who, and she had fled into the forest, scattering as they had planned. But unlike the plan, the pressure never let up, and she never got a chance to get her bearings.

When she managed to escape the ambush, she holed up in a hollowed tree stump, only to find herself in the midst of a large spider web, with several spiders the size of her hand and almost certainly venomous jumping, not crawling, _jumping_ at her. She had jumped herself, straight out of the stump and into the path of a rather large tiger. In fleeing the tiger, she took to the trees, only to discover that one of the local species of leeches actually lived at that height. And then, having jumped back to the ground as fast and as far as she could get, she had landed almost directly on top of a bear.

_I'm a medic,_ ran the refrain in her mind as she jumped fallen logs and dove under low hanging branches, skidding in the mud trying to escape the bear that was lumbering after her with the slow patience of a predator who knew they could outrun you, eventually. _I'm a medic,_ she thought, tossing a quick kunai at the bear and watching it hit with a light thump, barely nicking its thick skin. _I'm a medic, I'm a medic, I'm a MEDIC!_

Then it happened. Her sandals skidded out from under her on the bed of leaves and mud she was crossing, and she fell face first into the dirt, skidding slightly until she fetched up against a tree. She grabbed her jaw with a whimper, worried it might be broken, until the shadow fell across her. She turned and stared.

The bear was inches from her, its breath hot on her face, saliva dripping everywhere as it growled at her. It snapped once at her, then slid back, away from her face, as more and more orange clad kids piled on and pushed. She watched the beast swipe one of the kids, smashing a kid so hard it vanished, but the others just shouted, and more continued to flow from the woodlands into the giant bear wrestling match. The bear continued to lash out, but with each blow, it grew more and more confused, put off by the lack of dead orange humans.

"You have a scroll," said a dull, monotone voice beside her, very close beside her, and Karin jumped slightly in shock and turned to gape at the boy standing next to her, as if there was not a giant beast losing a wrestling match to a lot of identical boys only a few feet in front of him. He was wearing a white shirt, the collar pulled up to cover much of his face, and his sunglasses made it impossible to see if he was looking at the bear.. or her. "I know you have a scroll. Why? Because I bugged you a day ago, or more appropriately, I bugged your scroll. My friend and I will save you from the bear, and help you find your team… if you give us the scroll." He turned his head slightly, clearly indicating that he was looking at her, and stared at her, motionless, as if he was perfectly content to remain in that pose until she answered.

She could hear the bear sliding along the ground, pushed back by the tide of orange. She could hear the blonds shouting instructions and encouragement to themselves, status updates, tips on how to lift the creature's legs. But she could not lift her gaze to watch, enraptured as she was by that blank, patient stare. She felt her cheeks start to heat slightly under his scrutiny, but he did not react to her glow.

_He's… so… cool…_

She fumbled with her belt pouch until she found the scroll and held it out to the boy, who took it gently, _so gently_, from her hand and looked it over. He then tucked it into a pocket and pointed to one side. "Your team is ten minutes away, in that direction, hiding in a cave. My friend has guards around them, as well as some along the way to keep the local wildlife in check. Go now."

She nodded and stood, ready to leap, but unwilling to leave without one thing, one very important thing. She turned back and faced the boy, her eyes wide, desperately fighting the blush on her face. "What's your name," she asked, her voice quiet.

The boy adjusted his glasses slightly, his eyebrows appearing above the frames for just a moment, and she swore his face turned a slight shade redder. "I am Aburame Shino," he said in the same dull tone. "And you have twelve minutes. Go now."

Karin nodded once and jumped into the forest. She barely noticed the long line of blond boys, no more than a dozen meters between each, that she followed to her team. She did not think on her close brush with death, or the fear of failure on the exam, or what her teammates would think about her trading the scroll away for protection. All she could think of was that boy…

* * *

Sakura sat next to Ino's still form and watched the girl sleep.

Sasuke had managed to get some rest. While he had a slight fever, and his eyes were still losing focus from time to time, he was at least mobile enough to get out of the forest with some help. Sakura knew very little on the human body, but he had no symptoms of illness beyond those two things, and his eyes were improving even as time went by. All in all, the group agreed he was lucky, very lucky, and everyone was glad to let it go until they got out of the forest.

Everyone but Ino.

Everyone had tried to talk to her. Shikamaru had tried to explain to her that the genjutsu she had been under was beyond the skills of anyone there, and had been designed to incapacitate people of their level. Lee had proclaimed that the trials of youth had no limits, and that she must rise to overcome. Even Sasuke had bit down on the chillier parts of his personality and had explained, in no uncertain terms, that it was not her fault.

In the end, nothing worked on her. She remained where she was, curled into a ball, refusing to eat or drink. Sakura was not a medic, but every shinobi was given basic survival training, and she knew the Rule of Three.

_Three minutes without air.  
Three days without water.  
Three weeks without food._

Ino was on her second day without water, and that was not counting however long she had gone without before being captured. Shinobi tended to be a little more resilient than civilians, but if she was not already in severe pain, she would be soon. And still, she lay there.

Sakura sighed to herself and looked at Shikamaru, who nodded from his post near the entrance. They'd had a talk, and Shikamaru had made a few suggestions to her. He had some ideas how to wake her up, but most of them would work best with Sakura, her best friend and greatest antagonist. He grunted and stood, stretching slightly, then walked out of the cave to join the others, leaving the two girls alone.

Sakura pulled out a canteen, held it out, and casually dropped it on Ino's head. It hit with a solid thump, filled as it was with water, and Sakura heard Ino grunt. "I know you're busy trying to die and all," said Sakura casually, leaning back against the wall of the cave, "but we need to have a talk, and you need to have a drink." When Ino did not reply, Sakura leaned over and nudged her. "I got the okay from your team to incapacitate you and water you by force. Drink and talk, or I will. No joke."

Ino curled up further. Sakura took it as a stubborn refusal, and was preparing herself mentally to do just as she promised, but she heard the sound of Ino's voice, just on the edge of hearing. She leaned in quietly, and she heard it again. "I'm pathetic," the blond girl whispered.

Sakura nodded agreeably. "You are," she admitted cheerfully. Ino mumbled to herself, quiet enough that Sakura missed the words, but they didn't really matter. "No," she said clearly, her voice still sweet, "You are pathetic, but it's not because of that." Ino mumbled again, and Sakura nodded to herself, even if she could not hear the words any more. "Nope, not that either. You're pathetic because of what you are doing, here, now, not yesterday."

Ino froze, not ever breathing, then slowly pulled herself off of the dirt and turned to glare at Sakura, who gave her a cheerful wave. "Yes, it's me. Good old Forehead, giving you grief. Drink some water, and you can rant at me all you want. But not until you drink."

Ino sagged slightly, then reached out with trembling hands and picked up the canteen. She brought it to her lips and sipped carefully at it, drinking slowly, giving her body time to adjust to the fluids. A few times, she had to pause to settle her stomach, but she drank the full canteen eventually. She did not object when Sakura pulled out a second canteen and some ration bars for her to use.

"Sasuke lost his clan as a kid. He does not talk about it much, and I don't blame him, but it must have been horrific. Naruto has no family, and I think he had very few friends and a lot of enemies while growing up. Lee can barely use chakra. Neji is Neji, he can't be that hung up on fate without something tragic from the past." Sakura shrugged and closed her eyes, resting against the cave wall. "And there's me, number one at being useless in the real world. You would not believe how I felt when it was pointed out to me how worthless I was as a shinobi… I take that back, you, of all people, might believe it now."

"What changed," asked Ino quietly, her voice rough from days of no water and no words.

Sakura shrugged again, her shoulders scraping against the rock. "Same as the rest of them. I decided to do something about it. I found someone willing to teach me, several someones over time, and I worked and worked until it paid off. When you fall on your face, you have two choices. Pick yourself up, or eat dirt." She smiled. "I found the taste of dirt unappealing, so I stood up and kept going."

Ino and Sakura sat quietly, no sound but their quiet breathing and the occasional crinkle of a ration bar being unwrapped. Eventually even that sound stopped, and Sakura opened her eyes to see Ino kneeling in front of her, staring at her with an intensity she'd never seen before. Her face was haggard and tight, her eyes sunken. She was covered in dirt and filth from the last few days. But her eyes shone with an inner light, and her gaze was focused and sharp.

"Teach me," she said.

Sakura sighed and shook her head. She heard Ino gasp, so she raised her hand to forestall and complaints. "I have no idea how to teach, Ino. My own style is a mash of styles and skills and techniques from many sources, and most of them from my own studies and experiments. Some day, I might teach it to others, but it has to be finished first, and that assumes it suits you. You need someone to start you from the ground up, physical conditioning, basic katas, someone capable of teaching."

Sakura smirked and leaned over to whisper in Ino's ear the name she and Shikamaru had picked out earlier, the one most likely to be able to help her get into fighting form. For a moment, Ino's eyes widened in worry… but the worry faded, to be replaced with determination.

"As soon as we're out of this forest," Ino said. Sakura gave her a pat on the back and smiled at her friend and rival, a genuine smile. _I wonder,_ she thought as she watched Ino dig into another ration bar, _is this what Kakashi-sensei feels like all the time?_

* * *

It was a bedraggled and sorry group that trudged to the tower entrance some hours later.

Sasuke could see, and even use his sharingan without any discomfort, but his body still ached from the night before, and he was leery about using his chakra for any but the most vital task, so he jogged out of the forest, without using chakra to speed his movements, all five kilometers, a tough run on a good day without chakra, never mind with his pain. But he pushed on, and managed a small smile when the tower became visible.

Ino matched him, step for step, stopping only a few times to either take a sip of water or, after one rough patch, to empty her guts into the bushes. She was shaking by the time she could see the tower, exhausted on a level she had never experienced before, her mind and body worn until both were numbed by her exhaustion. Naruto had offered to carry her exactly once, and his nose still had flakes of blood from when she had hit him.

Naruto and Sakura could not keep their eyes from darting between Sasuke and Ino, watching both carefully, their worry plain upon their face. Shikamaru had told them to do so, and when they objected, he pointed out that with two byakugan users in their group, additional eyes were not needed. He also pointed out that he knew they'd both be watching them anyhow, so trying to get them to focus on anything else would be troublesome.

The moment they saw the tower, Lee was running for it, screaming the word 'youth' as loud as he could, one long shout that lasted all the way to the tower. Neji scoffed at the display, and like the rest, he paced Sasuke and Ino until they arrived as a group.

"Lee," said Naruto quietly as they entered, "Why did you run off like that? It could have been dangerous if someone was waiting in ambush."

Lee gave Naruto a brilliant smile, and raised his voice slightly as he answered, making sure that everyone could hear. "That is so, Naruto-san, and that is why I did it. Out of the entire team, I was the least tired of those not on watch or escort duty. If there was an ambush, who better to draw their attention for the first assault then myself?"

One of Neji's eyebrow twitched slightly, and he managed a small, cruel smile. "And if their was an ambush," he said casually, "then you could impress Haruno-san with your skills, right?"

Lee frowned and shook his head. "Sakura-san has made her opinion clear on the matter. There is no need to impress her." The entire group froze, a few of them carefully looking around, worried he was an imposter, but Tenten raised her hand in a waiting gesture, then crossed his arms and waited herself. After a moment, Lee continued, his voice raising as he said,"I may not be the man she will date, but I have already impressed her with the power of my youth! Besides, what if one of the ambush party fell for her beauty and decided to ask her out? I would be obliged to fight them then!"

Tenten nodded, and the group let out a sigh before entering the tower. Inside, they found a sign telling them, in a long and round-about manner, to open both scrolls. Naruto and Sakura pulled out their set and opened them, revealing a seal used for summoning, which immediately began to smoke. They set the scrolls down and backed away quickly.

When Iruka stepped out of the smoke, Naruto felt a sudden moment of nostalgia. He rarely got to see Iruka, between training and missions with Kakashi, and he suddenly felt a pang of loss that he'd not hung out with his teacher, his first true support and friend, in a long time. Then Iruka reached out and laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder, and the two looked at each other, and in that moment, Naruto realized his old teacher understood. _I wonder,_ thought Naruto, _if this is what Iruka feels all the time._

"Congratulations, Konoha teams," said Iruka with an easy smile. He went to each team, collecting their scrolls, before returning to stand before them. "I am proud to see you all have made it, and more so that you chose to work together. Teamwork is important, but so is remembering that we're all part of one great team, the village Konohagakure. Is anyone injured?"

Every person in the room turned to Sasuke, who nodded. "I've been bitten by someone called Orochimaru, and they left some kind of seal on my neck." He met Iruka's horrified gaze with one of confusion and rising concern. "Why do you look so worried?"

* * *

It took only five minutes to assemble those who needed to be informed. Sasuke had been quickly ushered into a small waiting room and given food and water. Within a single minute, Kakashi had arrived, and was looking at Sasuke's neck with both eyes revealed. The very fact that he had his sharingan visible made Sasuke feel a small, cold knot of fear form in his chest, but he smothered it and waited patiently.

Two minutes later, the proctor for the second exam, Anko, showed up. She nodded to Kakashi, with a degree of familiarity that the genin took note of. She then pulled Sasuke's head to one side roughly, took a quick look at the seal, and then retreated to a corner and started fidgeting with a kunai.

One minute after that, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage and leader of the Hidden Village of the Leaf himself, walked briskly into the room. Sasuke gaped at his entrance, because Hiruzen came not in his normal robes of office, but in his battle gear, a black body suit, unadorned of any decorative quality, with only a single metal arm guard and a thickly armored hood. He strode into the room not with grace, but with power, certain and unstoppable, and for the first time, Sasuke got a glimpse of the man who carried Konohagakue through the last two Shinobi World Wars.

He strode up and gently rested his hand on the boy's head, pulling back his hair slightly to look at the seal. He then stepped back and nodded to Sasuke, a brief flash of the kindly old man he had become over time, before his face turned back to the stern leader he had always been as he looked at the two older shinobi in the room. "Kakashi, opinion," he said, a curt order to be obeyed.

Kakashi nodded, and when he spoke, his tone was as serious as the Hokage's. "It matches much of what we know of Orochimaru's Cursed Seal program from before. Sasuke reported that the man cornered him and worked to convince him not to resist, then stretched his neck out and bit him, exactly where the seal is now. He also reported having requiring almost a full day of rest before becoming mobile. He has not used chakra since he regained control of his body and chakra system, and I have advised him to continue to do so until we came to a conclusion."

Hiruzen nodded and turned to Anko.

"It's different," she said without preamble. She reached up and pulled down the collar of her trench coat, revealing the seal on her own neck for inspection. She then walked over and pulled up Sasuke's hair. "The seal has four tomoe marks, as opposed to my three, and they face the opposite direction. Further, the tails are longer, forming almost a complete circle around the seal."

"Can we remove or seal this mark," Hiruzen asked.

Kakashi paused for a moment, then shook his head. "Maybe," he said, his tone growing darker. "Without knowing more on what it does and how it works, sealing it may do Sasuke more harm then good. He mentioned having physical control issues as well as chakra control issues while the seal was settling. Both imply the seal was affecting him on a physical level, not just through his chakra, but through his body itself. Further, I am not an expert at seals, and I know of no technique to use safely against this."

Hiruzen nodded. "Solutions?"

Anko spoke up first. "Seal his chakra off completely." When Sasuke whirled to glare at her,she raised her hands in a placating manner. "Temporarily. We can recall Jiraiya, get his opinion. With any luck, he'll be able to seal this away. We still only have a rough idea what the thing does to me, and I don't like the idea of one of our genin running around with an unknown seal ready to activate."

Kakashi shook his head. "Orochimaru is known for his subtlety, and he's always had an interest in bloodlines for his… research. I would not be surprised if this was meant to do nothing more than to drive Sasuke away from us by forcing us to crush his dreams out of fear of the unknown. I think we should at least have a Hyuga observe him through a few tests to see if he's safely functional and go from there."

Hiruzen nodded, then turned his eyes to Sasuke. His features softened for just a moment, and in a gentle voice, he said, "Opinion?"

Sasuke wanted to shout, scream, for his right to continue to be a shinobi, to grow and train, to gain the strength to avenge his clan. He wanted to threaten to leave if they tried to seal him. He wanted to roar his defiance. But in the face of the Hokage's gentle words and fond gaze, his burning passion crumbled. Bereft of his anger, Sasuke took the time to look at his situation with cold logic. It took him a full minute to puzzle through his options, and in that time, nobody talked or pushed for him to hurry.

"I do not wish to give up before I've really begun," he said quietly. "I have much to do in the future, and most of it requires me to be here, with my team and village. The risk of death or injury will not deter me. That said, making myself a risk to my team and village would be far worse, because if I cannot do what I must, who else would it fall to?" Sasuke took a deep, calming breath, and let his anger and pride out with the same exhalation. As painful as it was to admit his potential weakness in the face of what happened, no amount of fury would solve his problem. Kakashi had taught him, long ago and with great care, that one cannot power through challenges with nothing but fury alone. "I will do whatever tests you see fit. Should the seal be a danger, to myself or to others, we will do what we must to contain that danger. Even if it means the end of my life."

He sighed to himself and closed his eyes. _Failure hurts,_ Kakashi had once said to him, after a particularly bad day of training, _but true success can hurt a lot more._ As much as it hurt, he had to face the chance that his dreams, his vengeance, would be crushed, but if he must, he would face it with pride worthy of any Uchiha. If he could not honor them with vengeance, he would honor them by accepting his burden with his head held high. He straightened and opened his eyes, to see the three adults looking at him, and for a moment, he saw the pride in their eyes at his strength.

In the glow of their understanding and pride, as he looked up at his leader and his teacher, he found a balm for the pain of his loss. _I wonder,_ he thought, _if this is what the Hokage feels like all the time?_

* * *

**Author's Note: **For those who were paying attention, my update is ahead of schedule. I was forced to hold off on my medication for a week, and managed to get this done before I started it. Again, assume no updates for a few weeks.

Next chapter will detail the start of the preliminaries, as well as possibly going over how the seal works and Ino's plans for the future. I am unsure how I want to handle all that just yet, structurally.

I personally thank each of you who posted for the highly amusing and positive reactions to the last omake. It makes me proud that I delivered such an obvious joke in a manner that made my audience laugh and feel the urge to comment on it in reviews. Made my week, I can tell you.

Finally, before I get the PM's... no, KarinShino is not a thing, just like there are no other pairing in this story as of yet. So shhhhhhhh.

**Quinn1989:** The term for the Russian "doll within a doll" design is "matryoshka", and that was exactly what I was going for when I wrote that omake. When i was figuring out the punchline for the whole thing, that mental image popped into my head, and amused me enough to go for it.

**SamusOlderBrother:** I point out that Ino, as well as almost every other young character in the original series, acts extremely childish in canon. The amount of trouble they could have saved themselves by simply not acting like arrogant idiots is astounding, although it is also a part of the charm of the series, in my opinion.

**Alley McNally:** If I bother to do any sort of pairings in the future, you can assume at this point Kakashi and Anko will be in there somewhere. Even if I do not do pairings, you can assume it for yourself. Amongst other things, my version of the two is a great deal of fun to write.

**fluffpenguin:** Regarding family techniques, I am assuming that the real reason nobody else uses them is to keep character power sets distinct, and in the process of writing this, I am finding I agree with that premise. If I let Lee train everyone in his brand of taijutsu, then he's no longer **_the_** taijutsu guy, he's just _**a**_ taijutsu guy. As for chapter speed, I see what you mean now, and yeah, I try to avoid that level of foot dragging. It comes down to the most basic of storytelling technique: If this is not important to the plot or character, why would I bother showing it? An example of this can be seen in the above chapter. I could have detailed the reactions of every last one of the Konoha group when Lee ran forward, which would have padded my word count a great deal, but would also do nothing for the story itself (I actually went back and removed some of those reactions for that very reason). Finally, fear not, Ibiki will be back in due time. I intend to give every worthwhile character some degree of limelight in this story, and he fits into my variant of the world quite well.

**EVA-Saiyajin:** Honestly, while in the real world, the smoke bomb can be a useful tool, in the Naruto setting, it seems to be almost never used. In the series, many techniques produce smoke when disrupted, which the characters often use for cover, but rarely do they use a non-chakra device for that purpose. Sasuke might have passing knowledge of them in canon, but I would not call it familiarity.

**Dalumbrhack:** I understand people leaning away slightly whenever Naruto ends up with a sword, and in truth, I generally agree. Most of the time, when I see it, I can safely assume that the story is going to go from interesting tactics to up front sword fighting. I'll tell you (and anyone who bothers to read this) a secret: The reason that Naruto has swords is partially revealed in the Moonflower chapter. I think, when I make that reason overt once he gets into a solo fight, I shall have a lot of immensely relieved readers.

As for jutsu, they all will gain something new during the mid-exam break, even those who flunk (Ahh, but who? That is the mystery. And if I flunk Sakura, I suspect you lot will kill me. What fun.) This will take some research I think, as I prefer not to make up powers in a setting that has plenty available.

Finally, thank you SO much for giving me details on a significant error in my writing. Details makes it much easier to find and fix. If anyone else spots such things, please, feel free to tell me, via PM if you don't want to review.

And as always, **Cute Kirby**, thanks for the observation. I looked up the difference, and facepalmed. I have not gone back to fix that yet, but intend to do so in due time. Thanks again!


	26. The Rules are Set! The First Match is

Sasuke had been tested repeatedly while under the gaze of Hyuga Hiashi, the leader of the Hyuga clan, as well as the head of the Medical Corps, Anko, and Kakashi. The results had been disturbing.

"It's almost like a dedicated flow controller for his chakra," Hiashi had said when he finished his observations and made his report to the Hokage. "His entire chakra system flows through the seal, and the seal normally does nothing. But when he tries to use it, the seal acts on his intent and bends the flow of his chakra to maximize the desired effect."

The Hokage frowned at that. "You see no loss in chakra, no unusual chakra, no sign of alteration or variation in the chakra beyond improved flow?"

"None, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen turned the the head of the Medical Shinobi Corps. "You have found no evidence of alteration, on any physical level, when the seal is operating?" The woman looked at a clipboard she had, thick with readings and test results, and shook her head. "As far as we can tell," she said, flipping through the documents as if to check one last time for an error, "the seal does not interact on a physical level with anything. Even the interpretation of intent appears to be caused by reactions to the flow of chakra, rather than through nerve impulses or other biological means, just as Hyuga-sama has said."

The Hokage turned to share a look with Kakashi, who sighed and shook his head, and then his gaze fell on to Sasuke, his face growing stern even as his eyes softened. "Sasuke, I cannot allow you to continue to compete in the Chunin exam. I am sorry, but this unknown seal is too dangerous. We will have to continue to observe it, at least until Jiraiya returns." His voice was deep, calm, and painfully certain.

Sasuke felt the urge to shout, to argue, to do whatever it took to continue. He had a team, a good team! He was learning so much! He was growing stronger, and so were they, and together they might one day reach his goals, and beyond them! But Sarutobi Hiruzen did not take his eyes from Sasuke, and he was not some random shinobi to argue with. He was in charge for a reason, called the God of Shinobi by friend and foe alike, respected here and feared abroad for his wisdom and intellect. Sasuke knew that if anyone had the right to make that call, it was the old man before him, looking saddened but determined.

Sasuke bowed. "I understand," he said quietly, biting back both anger and tears.

He was shocked to feel the old man's hands lightly touch his shoulders and lift, raising him from his bow. Sasuke looked at the man as he smiled and patted his shoulder with one hand while fiddling with his pipe in the other. "I am sorry to have to lie to you like that, " the old man said, his lips curved upward slightly. "I had to be sure. Orochimaru's previous seals were known for having a detrimental effect to those who suffered them, and those we have witnessed tend to show a marked decline in self control as well, with one notable exception, who was little better to begin with." He snuck a glance at Anko, who was leaning against the wall. She stuck her tongue out at him, and he chuckled.

Kakashi patted Sasuke's other shoulder and chuckled at the boy's confused look. Sasuke could see the curve in his mask that indicated he was smiling. "What the Hokage is saying, Sasuke, is he had to forbid you from competing to see how you reacted. He is apologizing for that lie."

"So I can compete?"

Hiruzen looked at each person in the room in turn, and each gave a small nod, or in Anko's case, a thumbs up. He then looked at Sasuke and nodded as well.

* * *

The last two days at the tower passed slowly for the Konoha group. Only a single successful team arrived after they did, the trio of Otogakure shinobi that had picked a fight with Naruto before the written test, and they arrived only minutes after Sasuke was taken away by Kakashi. Every other team that arrived was injured, or in a couple cases, carrying a dead ally.

Naruto spotted the red haired girl that he and Shino had saved, crying and alone when she limped into the tower. His clones had seen her reunite with her team, so something must have happened to them again, this time without himself and Shino to save them. That thought made him antsy, and the others watched him pace the floor as they waited and watched for further arrivals, his head down, his mouth drawn into a frown.

The Konoha group stayed together, sleeping in one large room that looked like it did duty as a meeting hall under normal circumstances. They had been assigned beds, just like every other arrival, but Shikamaru had pointed out that they while they had passed the test, nobody had said anything about being safe from the other contestants. Naruto sent his clones out to find a good place to gather and found the room deep in the building and apparently unused for some time. In the end, the group chose to camp there together rather than risk separation at this point.

On the first night, Naruto sent out clones, henged to look like the group, to give the impression that they was staying in their separate accommodations. It was less than an hour before he received memories from the clone disguised as Neji being stabbed in his sleep. Ten minutes later, the clones looking like Sakura and Naruto were also dispelled. None of the clones got a look at their attacker's face before they were dispelled.

Shikamaru nodded thoughtfully when Naruto shared the news. "Someone is eliminating the competition," he said, frowning to himself as he thought. "Neji is well known as a genius, and Sakura and Naruto have some solid reputation from their mission a few months back. I suspect that Lee and Shino's clones will be next, and if Sasuke had one, it would have been first to go."

Shikamaru was lazy, but he was also intelligent. Within a few more minutes, both Lee and Shino's clones dispelled. The remainder of the night was spent in rotating watches, and nobody walked the tower alone after that.

On the second night, Sasuke was brought to the group. He was ushered in by Kakashi himself, as well as an ANBU member, one of the anonymous and powerful shinobi hand picked by the Hokage to fulfill difficult missions. Shikamaru was careful to hide his reaction to the escort, and saw Shino spare a glance at him. _Why would Sasuke need an ANBU level escort into the middle of a chunin level test?_ Shinobi were graded by their capability, and the power difference between grades was immense. A single jonin like his own sensei, Asuma, could easily destroy any genin team unless he was caught unawares and in a weakened state. Simply having Kakashi as an escort should have been more than enough.

The group stood and gathered around quickly, greeting Sasuke in a manner ranging from a quiet nod from Shino to a loud whoop from Naruto. Kakashi waved them all down with his hands, saying, "Mah, Sasuke's fine, we had him examined thoroughly. Nothing he can't work through, right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke scoffed. '_Work through' is not anywhere near the right words._ He huffed slightly and looked away. "I'm probably better rested than you guys. I'll be fine"

The Konoha group relaxed at the news… except for Ino. She was standing away from the others, her back turned to them. Sakura gave Sasuke a nudge and nodded to the blond girl, drawing a pained groan from Sasuke. He trudged over and stood behind Ino, waiting for her to turn. When she did not he reached out and gently turned her around to face him.

She continued to look down on the floor, and he could hear her softly muttering apologies. For failing him. For being weak. Sasuke looked back at Sakura, who pointed vigorously at the other girl, mouthing the most dreaded of words. _Help her._

_I don't do that,_ he mouthed back.

_Figure it out,_ was the reply.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and bit back a sigh. He had no problem with Sakura in general. After the wave mission, what little weird fangirl bits of her that remained had vanished, and he had not seen them since. And she was putting a lot of effort into training. But sometimes she forgot who he was. Even before he lost his family, the only one who used to be able to comfort him when he was upset was his mom, who managed it because she was his mom, and…

No.

He glared at Sakura and shook his head. She pointed again and stomped the floor slightly. He shook his head again. She took a deep breath, her jaw setting, then reached into her pouch and withdrew a pair of leather gloves, her fighting pair, and made a show of putting them on while glaring at him. And behind her, Kakashi shrugged and nodded at Ino.

Sasuke shot a betrayed face at Kakashi, then schooled his face into, if not good cheer, than at least passive non-aggression. He turned to Ino, then raised his hand and pushed on her forehead with his index finger, increasing the pressure slowly until he got her head up high enough for her to meet his eyes. "We were ambushed by an enemy well beyond our abilities," he said calmly. "It happens. Let's just be glad we both survived, so we can grow stronger and do better... next time."

Sasuke mentally flinched, even as he struggled to keep his face still. Never mind that he was acting like… that man… he was also deliberately acting cool to one of his most rabid fangirls. He imagined Ino squealing with glee and jumping around and acting like she had just won the lottery, and thus was deeply surprised when she quietly nodded her head and gave him a small and rather pathetic smile. She even managed not to cry, in spite of the tears welling in her eyes.

He forced a small smile of his own, then backed away, already discomforted by the close contact, already hurting inside with the memories of his bro... that man... doing the same for him. Naruto chose that moment to grab Sasuke by the belt and lift him over his head, letting out a cheer as he did so. Hearing the others laugh over it was mostly unpleasant for Sasuke.

Mostly.

"Dobe?"

"Yeah, teme?"

"Put me the fuck down."

* * *

Later that night, while everyone was settling down and arranging who would be on watch, Sakura gave Sasuke a tap on the shoulder and pointed out into the corridor, a worried look on her face. When they both got out there, she quietly shut the door and scanned the corridor with her eyes before turning back to him. "I saw the thing on your neck," she said quietly. "I have to ask the same thing I asked Naruto. Is it safe, both for you, and for us?"

Sasuke nodded once, slowly. "As far as we can tell, and by we, I mean an awful lot of experts, medics, and the Hokage himself, it's a harmless seal, possibly even useful. It might actually make me stronger."

Sakura wanted to sigh with relief, but the look in his eyes was dark. "As far as we can tell," she repeated.

He nodded again. "You and Naruto might want to keep an eye on me, to be safe. Others with similar seals have, in the past, experienced… aggression issues. If you ever see me get unreasonably angry, or otherwise act irrational, you may need to stop me, or at least warn someone of higher rank if it's something disastrous. But as far as anyone can tell, the seal should not have that sort of effect on me."

Sakura nodded, and scanned the corridor one more time. She then leaned in slightly and made the sign language for _Secret_. Sasuke leaned in as well, head turned slightly to one side. "Excuse me for a second," she whispered, before putting her arms around him and giving him a hug. It was over almost immediately, just a brief moment of pressure, and she backed away before Sasuke could react. "Sorry," she said, "It's not your thing and all, but I was worried about you. And I know you were pushing yourself to help Ino. And even if I don't act like I used to, I still have a little fangirl in me..." Her voice trailed off, and she looked at the floor sheepishly before looking up at him again. "Sorry," she said once more, through a smile that looked completely unapologetic.

Sasuke frowned, but he knew she meant well, and at least she wasn't trying to kiss him. Or lift him over her head. "I forgive you. This time."

Sakura laughed and gave him a playful swat on the shoulder before opening the door and walking back into the room with a jaunty step, waving over her shoulder and saying, "Never change, Sasuke." And out in the dark corridor, where he was sure she would never see it, he smiled slightly before adopting a stern look and walking back into the light.

* * *

All of those who qualified were gathered on the fifth day and lined up in rows of three, each row containing a full team. The room was massive, a single large and empty space with observation walkways high above. On a slightly raised platform rested a statue of two hands shaped in the hand seal for confrontation, and on that platform stood the jonin who had remaining competitors, fronted by the Hokage himself and flanked by the proctors from the previous exam sections

Anko stepped forward and said, "At this point, Hokage-sama will explain to you about the purpose of this exam. Please pay attention." She turned to the Hokage and nodded. "If you would do us the honor, Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen stepped forward and coughed lightly into his fist. "Before we tell you the details of the next step, I must explain to you the true purpose of this exam." He waited a moment for the sound of the genin shifting at that statement to stop, then continued. "In the past, you have been told that these exams are for diplomatic relations between the Hidden VIllages, or that it is done to showcase our shinobi. These are only partially true. This exam has one true purpose, however. War."

The genin shifted, and several started to speak, but Hiruzen waved them down. "The Chunin exam began as organized warfare, a chance to test our foes in battle without risking mindless destruction and damage to our lands. Yes, this test is used to find candidates for promotion, but that is not its primary purpose. Instead, it is a measurement of the strength of your village."

"The final part of the exam will be witnessed by many, including many potential clients, feudal lords and other powerful people. They will witness these final battles, and they will vote for the winners with the lifeblood of the shinobi world, their money. A good showing in the finals is not just a measure of you, but of your nation, and its strength."

"That is why the chunin exam is the first deadly challenge that most of you will face. It weeds out the unfit, the weak, and the fools, while showing the other nations and our patrons the strength of our newest shinobi.

The genin mutter amongst themselves, until Gaara's cold voice spoke over them. "I don't care. Tell us the details of this deadly exam."

Hiruzen frowned, but made no other move. He instead waved his hand, summoning the final proctor. He jumped from the ceiling and landed in a crouch before the Hokage, then slowly stood and turned to face the genin. Even as he did so, he coughed, a wet and painful cough from deep in his chest. His face was pale and drawn, and his eyes had dark bags under them.

_This is not a healthy man,_ thought Naruto.

"I am Gekko Hayate, the proctor for the third part of the exams." He gave a deep, racking cough, then continued. "The details are simple. We have too many candidates for the finals, so we shall hold a preliminary match immediately." The genin shifted as the man coughed hard for a few moments, and a few shouted about how unfair it was for the wounded. "Life is unfair," he continued, "more so for a shinobi. However, should you feel unable to continue, you may step out now."

Naruto looked around, but nobody budged. Shikamaru looked like he wanted to bow out, and Ino was barely paying attention. Gaara had a very large and deeply worrying smile on his face. So did the gray haired Konoha shinobi who had tried to quiet them down just before the written exam. Sakura and Sasuke, however, shared a glance with him, and there was no question of backing down. Naruto shot them a thumbs up and smiled.

The proctor waited a few more moments, before he nodded. "Your opponents will be selected at random and their names displayed on the board above. All others must go to the observation platforms. A fight ends when your foe is dead, unable to fight, or yields. When I say the match is over, it is over, and continuing to attack could get you disqualified… or worse." He gave them a sickly smile, and behind him, the jonin-sensei for the various teams, as well as the Hokage, all jumped to the platforms. Oddly, almost off of them chose the right handed platform, except for the Oto jonin, who chose the left.

Hayate turned to the board, an electronic display designed around a simple series of light bulbs, good only for displaying text, and nodded to an unseen operator. After a moment, two names flashed onto the board. "Haruno Sakura, Aburame Shino, please remain. The rest of you may gather as you like on the platforms.

Sakura gave her team a high five, then started to slip on her leather gloves. Kieri remained on her shoulder, clinging tight, and aside from taking a moment to groom herself, showed no interest in her foe.

For his part, Shino moved to the center and stood quietly, not moving in the least. Sakura watched as one of his kikaichu bugs crawled across his face, and grinned. She was not so easy to disturb as she once was, but she had to admire him, trying to intimidate her without the usual trash talk she would have expected. Between the sunglasses, the high collar hiding most of his face, and the bugs crawling over him, Shino could be an intimidating figure.

She thought for a moment, then shouted out, "Hey, Shino! I'll try not to squish too many of them, but your bugs are not going to win this match. And you took your tracker off of me already, right? It's be unfair to start with that sort of advantage."

Shino adjusted his glasses, his eyebrows rising slightly. "I appreciate your concern for my swarm, Haruno-san, and I assure you, I will do no meaningful harm to Kieri-san. Why? To do so would be to dishonor the good will you show my own companions." She could not see his face, but his voice was a touch warmer than usual. His eyebrows lowered again. "I have removed the tracking bug. You are correct, it would be a poor showing if I did not follow the rules to the letter."

Sakura glanced at Kieri, who narrowed her eyes and swished her tail a few times, tapping code onto Sakura's back as she did. Sakura shrugged the shoulder the cat was sitting on slightly to indicate an agreement, then nodded at the proctor. "Yeah, rules are very important, especially when following them to the letter." She crouched into her stance and smirked. "Whenever you are ready, Hayate-sama."

Hayate raised his hand. "Let the first match of the preliminaries… begin." His hand dropped, and Sakura burst into action. Even as Shino raised his hands, summoning his swarm, she was cartwheeling back, Kieri leaping to the floor and running with her. When she was almost all the way across the floor, she dropped a smoke bomb, which exploded and filled a fourth of the room. Within, she stopped tumbling and slowly, silently backed up, hand reaching for what she was looking for.

"Hey, Shino," she shouted cheerfully, hidden in the smoke. Shino raised one of his arms, and sent half of his swarm forward, slowly, into the smoke. They reported no poison or insecticide in the smoke, as Haruno-san promised. Its only value was concealment, and Sakura was ruining that use by shouting at him, revealing her general position. That made no sense.

_I find I am confused, _Shino thought to himself. It was important for a logical shinobi to admit that to themselves when it happens, so they could properly face the puzzle that confused them. And he knew exactly what a logical shinobi should do when faced with an unguessable tactic. He pulled his insects back and prepared to defend himself, the insect clone technique ready for immediate action, a technique that would allow his insects to take his visual form and swap with him to distract an attacker. After a few moments of tense silence, he decided to prompt a reaction. "What is it, Haruno-san?"

The smoke shifted slightly, pulling away from Shino, and he heard a metallic slam. His insects reported a new air current flowing out of the room coming from the other side of the smoke. "Nobody said we had to stay in this room for the fight," Sakura called out cheerfully, and Shino heard the sounds of her feet quietly running into the other rooms of the tower. He turned and gave the Proctor a look.

Hayate started to speak, then stopped and glanced at the Hokage, who was smiling. "She is… technically correct," the Hokage said. "You never said they had to remain in the room for the fight." Shino nodded to the Hokage, then turned and darted into the rapidly clearing smoke, his swarm surrounding him and buzzing furiously.

Up on the observation deck, Naruto laughed loudly, cheering and shouting her name, quickly joined by Lee and Guy, making the entire room boom with their voices. Asuma's mouth had slackened, dropping a half finished cigarette, and he remained that way until Shikamaru nudged him, after which he smiled and shook his head while reach for another. Sasuke was smirking, as was Kurenai. Even the jonin for the sand shinobi had a small smile, from what could be seen under the sheet hanging in front of half of his face, and he did not seem the sort of man to smile often.

But nobody was smiling as hard as Kakashi, safely behind his mask. Because he had seen the look on the Hokage's face when Sakura ran out, when everyone else had been looking at the smoke, and it had been priceless. "That's my girl," Kakashi said to the others, hooking a thumb at the open door.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage, was a hard man to surprise, but he was surprised, enough so that let out a small chuckle himself. He turned to Hayate with a smile on his face and said, "Let's get to the camera system, shall we?"

* * *

Sakura slipped into a small meeting room, deep inside the tower, and looked around. The place had several doors leading further into the building, but a quick check indicated they did not seem to lead in the general direction of the arena, leaving them as viable escape routes. The room was small for its design and simple, a small space that had been partitioned off from a larger space at some point in the distant past. It was perfect for her needs.

_Fight Shino is a wide open space? No, thank you._ Without some sort of cover, the match would be over before it began. She would dodge and evade, and the swarms would follow her. If she moved to engage, all Shino had to do was fight her to a standstill until they caught up. Even if she was as fast as Lee, Shino could pull his swarms back and simply defend himself until she tired. There was no good fight to be had there for her, and there was no rule saying she had to do so. _Bet they'll add that to the rulebook when this is done._

She listened carefully at the door, turning her head periodically to focus her hearing to a different area. She waited and listened, and eventually she was rewarded with the sound of Shino approaching, stepping quietly. She smiled to herself, listening carefully, and did not move as he walked by. A minute later, she heard a second set of footsteps come close, and this time, she knew it was the right time.

She pulled back slightly and flexed her arm.

"Hell yeah," she screamed, smashing into the thin wooden wall that was used to partition the room… and through it, her entire body focused in the effort, pushing her forward, until her fist plowed into Shino, who flew across the hallway and hit the other wall hard enough to bounce. That side of the hallway was part of the original room, something she realized when she was running this way, evidenced by the different trim along the walls and floors. Those walls were solid enough to take a blow, unlike the thin one she had just smashed through.

Sakura kneed the remainder of the wall she had pushed through, smashing through it, and moved in to attack. She knew his swarm would be back in seconds after the attack, and she pushed herself as hard as she could, trying to end the match quickly. She darted forward and raised her leg to stomp on him, but he had already recovered, spinning his entire body and lashing out at her one leg with both of his. Already committed to her attack, Sakura took the blow to her legs, and fell.

She fell forward onto Shino, grinning.

Her arms reached out, grabbing at Shino's, her legs now tangling into his. She pulled, her strength far greater than his, and when his arms parted enough, she arced her back and then curled inward, smashing her forehead into his face, her hitai-ate's metal plate and cloth padding preventing damage to her even as it increased the damage to him.

_God, I hope Ino doesn't see me using my forehead as a weapon, I'll never hear the end of it._

Shino was hurt, one lens of his glasses cracked, his nose clearly broken, but he continued to struggle, shifting in her grip, trying to get a leg between them, anything to clear the distance and hold her off. She gave him another headbutt, but he twisted as she did so, and she did not hit him with near enough force. She raised her head again, then heard the sound of his swarm flying at her. She shoved off of him, as hard as she could, sending herself flying back into the hole she had made, just in time to see the swarm arrive, forming a living barrier between her and her target.

She paused, long enough to see Shino start to move, then dashed to the back of the room and ran through one of the doors.

* * *

Shimura Mioki, Civilian Security Specialist, was having a nerve wracking day.

Usually, her job as one of the shift guards for the complex camera systems installed in various important areas of Konoha was an easy and pleasant one. Watching over the Konoha Library or the exterior of the Hokage's tower was a boring job, more so as she was only a tertiary defense, after the normal shinobi patrols and occasional ANBU guard hiding and watching. Civilians were only there as a defense against corruption, and even she was first to admit that excuse was only a paper thin screen hiding the simple truth that she was there only to make the other civilians feel better. If they could get past the patrols and ANBU, they could get past Mioki and her camera system. Still, she enjoyed her boring job, and as much as her distant uncle complained, she enjoyed the peace and warmth of her village.

None of that warmth or peace was with her now. She was standing nervously at the back of her monitoring station, having been politely steered there by the Hokage himself, who gave her a pat on the shoulder as he did so. He was sitting in her chair even now, flipping through cameras at a speed that made her eyes ache, never missing a moment of the two genin hunting each other through the tower.

Sitting and sometimes standing around the Hokage were living legends as well. Hatake Kakashi the Copy Nin was sitting on her supervisor's chair, and with the sudden break in decorum as a result of his student's move, he was cheerfully munching on some sort of puffed grain cereal. He was eating it _through his mask_, the very act of which hurt Mioki's eyes as much as the flickering screens.

Next to him was the Sublime Green Beast of Konoha, Maito Guy, leaning over Kakashi's shoulder and cheering so loudly that the room was vibrating. His voice was painful, but the man gave Mioki eyes a rest at least, because he was _built._ That was a _man's man,_ never mind the bowl cut or eyebrows. When her eyes needed rest from the rest of the room, they settled carefully and discreetly on his buttox, and her mind kept returning to a single question. _Can you literally bend steel on them, or did they just look like it?_

"Yes, you can literally bend steel on almost any part of him," came a quiet voice, causing Mioki to lift her eyes nervously from Guy's… qualities… and look at the woman standing next to her. She did not recognize the red eyed woman, but she had an aura of confident power that signified her position as an elite, and the small smirk on her face did little to help Mioki's nerves. "We had to test it for a bet he and Kakashi made. You're not the first to think about that." She leaned in slightly and whispered, "He's also dense as the rock he seems to be made of, which means he's available. Just saying." She smirked and gave Mioki a pat on the shoulder, then moved up to get a better view of the screens.

Mioki tried to resist, but her gaze slowly returned to the jonin's… powers.

It was a nerve wracking experience for a mere Civilian Security Specialist. But it had its benefits.

* * *

Naruto kicked at the floor and grumbled. "I don't care how crowded the room is, I wanted to see Sakura fight."

Sasuke shrugged. "I bet five ryo the whole thing is being taped by the security console, and Kakashi will snag the tape before the day is done."

Naruto thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No bet."

* * *

Shino opened a door and looked into the darkened room. It was large, large enough to have support pillars along either side, and the decor implied it was some sort of reception area. He walked a few feet forward, looking carefully, then turned and shut the door behind him. He darted behind one of the pillars and paused to think.

He had been tracking Sakura throughout the tower, trying to distract her with his insect clones, trying to get her to jump one and allow herself to be swarmed. But no matter what he tried, she always found him. He'd send the two clones he could form forward, and had been ambushed when Sakura dropped out of a tiled ceiling. He'd stepped forward first himself, letting his clones trail him as if waiting for her to jump. She had literally opened a door he was reaching for and punched him in the face, then casually shut the door again. Shino had blushed under his collar after he recovered from that one.

Worse, she was smart enough to disengage when threatened. The moment his swarm would get within striking distance, she would be in full retreat, and her strikes were so powerful that he dared not pursue her too far, lest she double back and hit him in passing. He had almost lost the match when she opened the door and hit him, and the only reason he was still in the running was because his swarm had defended him while he struggled to remain conscious.

But now, they were in a dead end, the final room. He had left the door open for a moment, trying to draw her out in an attempt to escape and continue her game, but she had made no move.

_But how can she know what is really me?_ Shino gathered his swarm to watch over him and thought carefully. _She must be sensing something different between me and my swarm. I am confused. I must think calmly to determine what that is._

It was not vision. His insect clones were well practiced, so much so that his own parents could not tell the difference on inspection.

It was not smell. His personal odor was dominated completely by his hive and the pheromones they put out, so his clones smelled the same as himself.

It was not touch, she had avoided them completely. He doubted it was taste.

A rare smile formed on his lips, hidden by his collar. _I am no longer confused._

* * *

Sakura crouched behind the pillar and waited, turning her head just slightly, listening carefully. Her ears were quite powerful, something she had gained training with Kieri, and with the help of Tsume. The principal was the same as the Inuzuka clan's scent training, focusing chakra into her ears and being exposed to slowly rising and falling sounds. Over time, her hearing had become incredible. Enough to track a mouse behind the wall. Enough to hear if Dan was in his shop from across the street.

Enough to discern between a flying swarm of insects acting as a clone and the non flying insects in Shino's body.

She heard footsteps, accompanied by the drone of Shino's hive, and with a roar, she jumped from her spot and lunged. Shino backed up, parry wildly, and Sakura saw his clone on the other side of the room, far too distant to get to his aid quickly. _This is it_, she thought as she roared and lunged at full speed and power directly at the boy, leading with her shoulder to knock him down. Once on the floor, she could dominate him.

She passed into his body, and with its own droning roar, it the clone burst apart and descended on her. They latched on to her skin, and Sakura hissed as she felt the burning sensation of the kikaichu feeding on her chakra. She stumbled slightly, resisting the urge to slap at the insects, then tripped and fell.

"You fought well, Haruno-san." Shino, the real Shino, the one she thought was a clone, walked over and knelt next to her.

"How," asked Sakura weakly.

"I determined that, of all the senses, sound must be the one you were using to detect me. I recalled a few of my flying kikaichu and had them start buzzing in my body. The entire remainder of my swarm landed on each other and forced themselves to move without wings. It was a difficult task for them, and for me." He stood and adjusted his glasses. "Now yield, so I need not hurt you."

On the floor, Sakura smirked.

Shino felt a weight settle on his shoulders, a vibrating weight that purred in delight at him. He also felt the claws, latching carefully and only slightly painfully on either side of his neck, directly over the primary sources of blood flow to his brain. Shino stiffened, and for the second time that day, he blushed at his mistake. _I forgot about Kieri._

Sakura pulled herself up. "I'm not as bad off as you think, and Kieri is fresh, having done nothing but shadow you this entire match, as soon as you exited the smoke. Yield."

Shino nodded, and his swarm flew off of Sakura. "I made a tactical error. Had I kept some reserve, they could have tried to take Kieri by surprise, but it took the whole hive to make a clone that does not fly. I yield. Well fought, Haruno-san."

Sakura smiled as Kieri jumped from Shino's shoulders to hers and started to rub against her hair. She held out a fist, and after a moment's hesitation, Shino raised his own and bumped it to hers.

* * *

The security room was silent. Every person in the room, from the Hokage to the civilian was looking at Kakashi, who leaned back, arms behind his head, and smiled at them with untainted glee.

"That's my girl," he repeated.

* * *

"Tell me you got the tape," Naruto said as soon as Kakashi stepped out. He'd heard Hayate over the intercom, calling the match for Sakura and summoning them back to the arena.

Kakashi shrugged and shook his head.

"What! Why?"

"Hokage-sama beat me to it."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Wow, that is by far the longest chapter yet. I felt splitting a fight would be bad form, as would be telling everyone the rules and then waiting for the next chapter to do anything. So, hey, enjoy.

As you can see, my matches will not be cookie cutter duplicates. Not a single fight will be the same. The delay in this chapter arriving was not medical, as I had thought, but plot related. I didn't want to corner myself into an uninteresting match, so I decided to plot out all the way to the final rounds ahead of time, which was quite a bit of work.

Going forward, expect one or two fights per chapter, depending on how long they are. I fully intend for most of them to be on the same level as this, but a few may be much shorter because of what happens or who is involved.

Also, I could not resist the humor scene in the middle. Literally could not. For me, Naruto means two things, thoughtful combat and humor, and I tried to have both in this chapter. Expect Shimura Mioki, Civilian Security Consultant, to pop up from time to time in my Omake.

Several folks have noted that Naruto has not had that sudden, "This is my Way of the Ninja" moment. If it happens, it'll happen when it makes sense. Keep in mind, unlike canon, Naruto has not suffered a tragic loss, real or perceived, nor has he touched the Kyuubi/Kurama's power. Unfortunately, that is life. Sometimes you get a single defining moment. Sometimes you become who you are gradually. Which of these will happen in my story is uncertain yet, although I have a vague idea where it might happen if it does.

And as always, thanks for the reviews. Those of you who pointed out grammar and spelling errors in previous chapters, I have not got them yet, but message received, they'll get their time soon. Those of you just encouraging me, it works, so thanks again.

**EDIT: **It took me three re-reads, but I finally found the character name error in the Security Consultant section. Thanks, **CuteKirby.** And truthfully, I keep screwing up Kieri the same reason I had trouble with then/than, I just don't notice. I think I got it fixed, though. Damn, I think I still need to fix "cloths" in a previous chapter. Best hop to it.

**Quinn1989:** I am fairly certain you have seen a scene similar to the Karin Rescue a half a dozen times at least. There is not a ton of wiggle room in that sort of scenario, unless I try to make her part of the main cast, which I am not. It was actually inserted briefly just for the fun of it, and because Shino never gets any love in fanfic, as **Ky** mentioned. Besides, her infatuation with Sasuke was as shallow as Sakura's was in early canon, all based on a single "cool" moment. Well, hell, Shino can do cool, why not?

To my concerned **Guest**, no, Ino's "shape me up" sensei won't be Anko. Nor Kakashi. Nor Guy. And so on and so on. Give me some credit.

Sakura? Get eliminated? Maybe, **KasonSama**, but if so, it'll be the kind of exit you play metal guitar riffs and shooting fire effects and dragon unicorn lasers to. I didn't put all that work getting Sakura out of the Pit of Comparatively Useless Protagonists just to stuff her back in there.

**GalanthaDreams**: One of my issues with some fic is the common inability to write someone who is capable of intelligence but not used to applying it, such as canon Naruto. In canon, he has some excellent ideas at regular intervals, but often, writers either let his social incapability and "run head first at the foe" part of him dominate, or make him a genius. I am actively working at not letting my version slide too far to either side of the scale.

**EDIT (4/6): **Fixed "Kirei," "Deep Racking Could," and "Shino is Carefully Careful" nonsense.


	27. Kunochi at Range! Tenten vs Kin!

Sakura and Shino returned to the arena to the sound of cheering. Most of the Konoha genin and several of the jonin-sensei where shouting or clapping their approval, not just for Sakura, but for Shino as well. A few more, like the Suna jonin and his female genin, managed to smile and nod in acknowledgement of the bout. And a few, like the entire group from Oto, simply stared.

But all that was secondary to the two genin, because on the arena floor, Sarutobi Hiruzen stood, hands clasped behind his back and a surprisingly cheerful grin on his face. "Welcome back, to both of you." He raised an arm, quieting the others, then turned to Sakura and spoke loud enough to be heard by all. "In my time as Hokage, I never felt the need to give much consideration to the rules to the Chunin Exam. There has never been a need for it before. And yet today, I find that I must examine carefully what has been taken for granted by countless others before you. This is no small feat, Haruno Sakura, and you have every right to be proud of what you have done." Sakura started to blush heavily, and it only intensified when Naruto gave out another cheer from the stands.

Hiruzen turned to Shino, his smile still in place. "You, too, should be proud, Aburame Shino. When faced with an opponent who changed the very nature of your mission, you checked in with those in charge, rather than assume you should persue. When given confirmation, you did not hesitate to act, and proceeded in a sensible manner with your mission. Your loss may be unfortunate, but you should also be proud. I fully expect you to succeed the next time you enter this arena."

Hiruzen the gave a dry chuckle. "Not the least of which because we must now become much more specific in the terms we use to describe this test." There was some muffled chuckles from the Konoha teams, and one possible snort from those from Suna. "From here on out, leaving this arena will be considered a forfeit. In the future, we may expand the arena to provide more cover and options, but for this year, it shall remain a test of strengths. Besides, until we know of the future plans, I would rather we not destroy too many walls." This last got a few more laughs, and Sakura turned to give her fellow Konoha genin a bow.

The Hokage waved at Sakura and Shino, dismissing them. They turned and bowed to each other, a formal show of good sportsmanship, then jumped to their team's places on the platform above.

"Y-you did good, Shino-kun," said Hinata, gently patting him on one shoulder. She reached into her pocket and offered him some of her medicinal cream, which he accepted with a grateful bow, revealing his heavily damaged face.. Kiba laughed and punched Shino lightly in the arm, and over Akamaru's yapping, said, "She mangled you, man! I can't believe she got you! You had that wrapped up!"

Shino shook his head, and his teammates could hear that the stoic young man's voice was filled with respect and a hint of reproach. "I allowed myself to be complacent once my allies had her in their grasp. I will not make that mistake again. And should you make it to the finals, do not take Haruno-san and Kieri-san lightly, Kiba." He sat carefully on a bench, his back rigid, and started to focus his chakra on his bugs, encouraging them to aid the healing process on his injuries, while applying the cream to his face with care.

Sakura, meanwhile, was greeted with a loud cheer from Naruto, who jumped in and picked up Kieri to spin her about, singing her praise even as she stared at him moodily. Sasuke held out his fist to Sakura, who bumped it and grinned. "Good job," he said, and his small smile was genuine. She smiled back, then turned to pry Kieri's claws from Naruto's face before he could even begin to shout.

"Good job indeed," said Kakashi, resting a hand on her shoulder and looking at her with obvious pride. "You should know that you surprised a lot of competent, experienced shinobi today, including the Hokage himself. Also, the Hokage swiped the security tapes for your match before I could get to them. I would not be surprised if they end up circulating amongst the shinobi forces in the near future, as a lesson on thinking outside the box. I could not be prouder of you, Sakura."

Sakura beamed at Kakashi-sensei, and reached up to scratch Kieri's chin, drawing a contented purr from the cat. "I couldn't have done it without you, my friend." She walked over to the bench and slouched down, relaxing every muscle in her arms, legs, and back, spreading out over her seat exactly like a cat who has found your favorite jacket on the bed. Kieri curled around her neck and went limp as well. But both had their eyes open, and were carefully watching the upcoming matches. Some of these people might be her foe in the next round, after all.

* * *

Soon, the screen lit again, and the next two contenders were called forward by Hayate, who managed to restrain his coughing long enough to do so. "Tsuchi Kin, Tenten, step forward, please."

Tenten stood and stretched, smiling, with a dangerous glint in her eyes. She looked at Guy-sensei and Lee, who gave her a pair of identical youthful poses. "Go forth and show them the power of your youth and the edge of your weapons, Tenten," said Guy, boisterous as ever, while Lee simply shouted "Youth," from behind their teacher.

She turned to Neji, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "Not going to wish me luck?" she asked, trying to remain cheerful. Neji barely moved, only turning his head slightly to aim his eyes at her. "Your foe looks like one who puts a lot of stock in appearance. I doubt she has trained nearly as hard as you. You're fated to win, I am sure."

Tenten rolled her eyes. While Kakashi-sensei had managed to break some of Neji's arrogance out of him, he still retained his fatalistic streak. If anything, it was now more intense, now that he was open to learning techniques outside of his clan. Apparently, he was fated to bring outside influences to the famously traditional clan. She shook her head, banishing thoughts about her team, and jumped down to meet her foe.

Kin was already below, having wasted no words on her team or sensei. She wore a simple dull green vest and a matching set of pants and scarf that shared a blotchy camouflage pattern in grey and black. Her hair ran all the way to the back of her shins, long and luxurious. But most importantly, to Tenten, she was smirking the entire time, her entire stance speaking of confidence, not just in her strength, but in her foe's weakness.

_Wait and see, you smirking schmuck._

Hayate raised his hand between them.

Tenten crouched slightly, her eyes narrowing, her body tensed and ready to begin. Kin crossed her arms and smirked harder.

"Begin!"

Kin's arms moved the moment Hayate's hand began to drop, throwing six senbon at Tenten before the man's voice faded. Her smirk faded slightly when Tenten ducked under her surprise attack without the slightest hesitation and replied with a kunai, which landed at Kin's feet. She flinched slightly away, then looked at the blade in the ground. There was no explosive tag, nor any seals, or any other sign of danger.

"You seriously can't even throw straight, can y-" Kin's eyes widened, and she dove to the floor as another kunai passed directly through where her face had been moments earlier. She turned her dive into a desperate roll as more and more kunai buried themselves into the floor behind her, then a desperate backpedal when they started to arrive directly in front of her. She turned to look at Tenten, who was standing in the same pose, slightly crouched, a single scroll partially unrolled in one hand.

"I never miss," said Tenten, her eyes never leaving her opponent. Her left hand flexed slightly, sliding the scroll open a little more, and with a quick motion, Tenten placed her hand above the storage seal that was revealed and pulled another kunai from the scroll.

Kin's hands flashed and she drew another set of senbon, this time from her special pouch, and let them fly. There was a sound of ringing in the air as the needles flew, the bells attached to them tinkling quietly. Tenten stepped slightly to the side, directly into the gap in the middle of the set of senbon. The gap Kin deliberately left in her throw.

She reached again for some senbon, sidestepping another throw from Tenten as she did so, and let them fly in the same pattern… but with a couple bell-less senbon in the gap this time. She had practiced her skills for ages, testing her theory on target after target, and the results were always promising. When faced with her bell senbon, foes instinctively latched on to the sound to indicate where the fast moving and hard to see needles were. Then, once they had, she would throw some senbon without the bells in the mix, and her foes would often ignore the soundless needles until it was too late.

Kin smirked as the senbon flew, and then lost her smirk when Tenten dodged hard to the side, avoiding both kinds of needles while continuing with her own attacks. Kin started dodging frantically as she threw more and more of her mixed needles to no effect. Tenten meanwhile kept throwing a steady stream of kunai, one at a time and with frightful accuracy, at an exact rate of one per second. Kin lurched and jumped and rolled away, reversing direction frequently as Tenten got an eye for her movements. Tenten, meanwhile, dodged in a sedate and careful manner, never moving more than a body length away from her starting point.

"You may as well stop with the bells," she said cheerfully after almost a full minute. Kin was covered in sweat and dirt from her efforts, while Tenten looked as fresh as she had when she got into position. "I told you my aim is excellent, and so is my eyesight. I can see how many are coming at me."

"Not any more," said Kin with a devilish smile. She twitched a finger, and several of her bells started to ring in a dissonant manner, raising a clamor that seemed to build on itself, until Tenten clutched at her head and stumbled slightly to one side. She glanced down at the floor, steadying herself, but when she looked back up, there were now several Kins standing in a line. Each one hefted a handful of senbon and smiled viciously at her.

Tenten unsealed several more weapons and tossed them quickly, and was gratified to see the various Kins all dodging, the exact same move repeated by each image. _This means two things, _Tenten thought. _First, it's an effect on my own perception, not a bunshin or other clone technique. Second, she is still in the group, and probably somewhere near the middle of the pack._ She started to focus on the two in the center, trying to find the real Kin, but her foe was careful to dodge attacks on both herself and her nearest double, preventing Tenten from picking her out.

Then Tenten flinched and jumped to one side as Kin started throwing again. "A lot harder to dodge when you don't know which ones are real, isn't it?" Each Kin threw at the same time, and the images made a mere six needles look like sixty. But Tenten smiled and started to weave slightly, avoiding all of the needles. Kin frowned, and started to speed up her throws, but only the false needles struck Tenten, passing through her harmlessly. Soon, Tenten was throwing back again, her throws fast and wild, most of the kunai hitting the ground at Kin's feet.

Kin finally stopped throwing, having spent most of her ammunition to no effect. "That's simply not possible," she snarled at her opponent, who was rolling up her now empty scroll. "How can you possibly avoid every real needle?"

Tenten laughed in her face. "I told you, my aim is excellent, and so is my eyesight. There are only two ways you can attack me with that illusion. You can have your duplicates all throw forward, in which case, I only need to dodge the ones coming near me, because the others are duplicates. Or you can have them all throw at me, in which case, all the incoming needles form a focal point at wherever you're aiming. Step away from that focal point, and the real needles miss. For all your masterful throwing skills, you are no match for me. Yield now."

Kin rolled her eyes at the trash talk. "Bring it."

Tenten made three hand seals and took a deep breath. Kin froze, slightly confused at the sudden change in tactics, and that was all Tenten needed.

Tenten was not very skilled sat the Grand Fireball technique by traditional standards. When she exhaled, instead of a tight ball of flame, she sprayed a thin sheet of fire from her mouth, blanketing the area before her. Kin raised her hands in front of her, but while slightly painful, the fire was no threat to her. As soon as it passed, she dropped her arms and prepared another throw.

Then she heard the hissing sound.

Kin looked down at her feet, and what she saw chilled her to the bone. There were two types of kunai on the ground around her, some with standard brown corded handles, and some with green. Fully a third of the weapons had green handles, and they were tightly clustered around her and her doubles. And the green cords around the handles were rapidly burning away, winding a hissing trail from the pommel ring to the base of the blade itself.

Like a fuse.

"I never miss," said Tenten, turning away and diving to the ground.

The explosion that followed was terrifying to behold. It was no fancy, beautiful fireball, but a nearly invisible wall of concussive force. The kunai themselves were shredded instantly by the force of the explosion, flying out at terrible speeds in all directions, embedding those pieces in the floor, walls, ceiling, observation platforms… and Kin as well.

When the dust and debris started to settle, Tenten picked herself off of the floor, hissing at the few tiny cuts on her legs from stray shrapnel, then looked at her foe. Kin was on the ground, curled into a ball and bleeding profusely. Her arms and legs, carefully held close, had taken the brunt of the shrapnel, and were in such tatters that Tenten doubted the girl could move even if she wasn't incapacitated from the blast itself.

The room was silent for a moment, before Hayate appeared beside her. "Winner, Tenten," he said calmly as he waved some medics over for the fallen girl. The cheers from the Konoha teams were slightly more subdued than they had been for Sakura, but the serious looking blond girl from Suna gave her a respectful nod, and coming from what looked like a serious kunoichi like herself, that meant more than any amount of cheering.

"Well done, Tenten," shouted Lee when she arrived back with the rest of her team. "You blossomed beautifully before all of the spectators today!" Tenten glanced at Guy, who had the dignity to cough into his hand and look away, then sighed. Lee was a good guy, but she was beginning to wonder if he was deliberately pulling her chain sometimes.

"I told you. Your fate determined your victory over your opponent." Neji had yet to move from his spot against the wall, and his tone was not congratulatory, but condescending. It was probably as close as she would ever get to a positive reaction from the Hyuga boy, but suddenly that wasn't enough.

Tenten whirled on him and stomped forward, until she was directly in front of him. "You keep saying that fate determines everything. Fate made my victory. Fate ensures yours. Fate, fate, fate. Fuck fate! I earned my victory! I earned it with hard work, planning, and skill! I earned it with sweat and more than a little blood!"

Neji shook his head at her. "How it happens does not matter. Fate is-"

Tenten gave him a push, a light push, but enough to force him to stand up straight. He barely moved, but by the look on his face, it was as if she'd attacked him. "You think you're all stoic," she shouted at him. "Will you be saying it was fate when you lose? Will that be fate too?"

"I won't lose." Neji sneered at her, his face turned ugly with disdain. "None here can best me. Not the Uchiha. Not Lee. And not you." He turned away from her and crossed his arms. "Pray we do not meet in the finals, Tenten. I won't hold back."

"Neither will I."

Tenten grit her teeth and turned away as well, walking to the other side of Guy and Lee. Lee looked confused at the way his teammates were acting, but Guy… the look on his face was not confused. He looked like he understood the situation perfectly, and it pained him. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and counting down from ten, before opening them again. After a moment, she tentatively raised her hand and gave Guy a thumbs up. It wasn't as youthful as his own, but it brought a small smile to his face at least.

Standing behind Guy, his face turned away but his byakugan active and watching the scene, Neji held his arms tight around himself and frowned. _They'll see,_ he thought. _They'll see._

* * *

"I'm going to be next," said Lee, leaning over the railing and staring at the light board. "I know it!"

"I'm going to be next," said Kiba, when he heard Lee. He stepped to the railing and stared as well.

"No, me, I'm next," shouted Naruto, practically jumping in place.

Hayate nodded to the shinobi manning the board, who activated the randomizer and displayed the next match on the screen.

The three boys at the railing wailed in disappointment.

* * *

"Kankuro and Dosu, come down please."

The others watched as the two contestants jumped to the arena floor and moved forward to the starting positions. Dosu was first to arrive, the feathery straw raincoat on his back rusling slightly with each step. His slouched posture, combined with that raincoat, gave him a hunched, bestial appearance, and the glare in his one visible eye did little to dispel that image.

Kankuro made quite a contrast with his opponent. Clothed in a simplistic black jumpsuit with a matching hood, he had a very bland appearance, save for two things; The large, bandage wrapped bundle on his back, and the sharp, angular pattern marked on his face in purple paint. He stood straight and tall, his bearing proud, and he had an easy smile on his face.

Hayate called for the match to begin, but neither combatant made a move. They stood in position, staring into each other's eyes. After several seconds, Naruto frowned. "Why aren't they doing anything?" he asked himself.

"They're sizing each other up," said Kakashi, as he and Sasuke joined the others at the rail to watch. Kakashi leaned forward, perfectly mimicking Naruto's own posture. Sasuke smirked and did the same, waiting to see if Naruto caught it. His teammate immediately changed positions, but Sasuke couldn't tell if it was deliberate or not.

Eventually, both of the combatants seemed to relax, affecting a casual air. "Nice makeup," said Dosu, his voice deep and smooth. "Did your mother apply it?"

Kankuro smile did not fade or change, remaining just as it was since his match was called. "Nice face," he said in immediate reply, his voice light and cheerful. "Did your father teach you to hide it?"

They returned to their staring contest without another word.

"Why don't they do something?" said Lee after a few moments. Kakashi looked at him, and was pleased to see the boy was confused instead of anxious for action. Confusion could be solved with insight, after all. A taste for action, however, was often a fatal flaw, and one he was worried the young man may have picked up from Guy, who was the same way in his youth.

"What you see," came the voice of Guy as he joined them at the railing, "is a true shinobi battle in action." He had no youthful enthusiasm in his voice, only a simple and calm certainty, as solid as a rock, and the moment he spoke, Lee had a small notepad and pencil in hand. "When two shinobi meet on a battlefield, it is rare for the battle to end with only a single thrown kunai or flashy jutsu. They must fight and work to determine their foe's strengths and weaknesses, so they know when and how to strike to achieve victory. And at a time like this, when two cautious foes face each other, there are often times when they will stop fighting and plan."

"Sometimes," Kakashi cut in, still watching the two contestants, "a shinobi will trash talk, or even simply converse with their foe, and you may get the impression they are having fun or feel so confident that they can do so. But any good shinobi will take that time to watch for hints on how to fight. Naruto, based off what you have seen so far, what sort of abilities or traits do you think the one with the raincoat has has?"

Naruto looked Dosu up and down carefully. "Well… I already know he has that metal thing on his arm. But he keeps both of his arms covered, which means he might have another trick up his other sleeve." He turned and looked at Kakashi, who nodded encouragingly and waved his hand for Naruto to continue. He returned to looking at Dosu, putting his relatively weak observational skills to use. "He looks thin, so his abilities probably don't rely on physical strength. Umm… He has a rain coat, so he either uses water technique or possibly wants others to think he does. That's about it for me."

Kakashi gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Not bad," he said, "but we'll have to get you some practice some time. Sasuke, what about the black one?"

Sasuke had expected this, and had been watching carefully while Naruto was talking, his sharingan active to take in as much detail as possible. "He's not in the best of shape, so he's probably not a taijutsu master, and probably avoids it when possible. The giant bandaged wrapped thing on his back must be important to him, if he bothers to carry it into combat, and I can see some odd chakra flowing between it and him. A weapon, I assume. And I assume he's already performed some sort of replacement technique."

"Why?" asked Kakashi.

"His face looks fake. When he talks, his lips and muscles are not moving properly, and I think he's keeping the same smile on his face to minimize those movements. It's not a bunshin, I can tell those apart. I'm assuming he replaced himself with something."

"Cheating sharingan eyes," mumbled Naruto, drawing a smirk out of Kakashi and Sasuke both.

Eventually, it was Dosu who made the first move. He charged and swung his arm with the metal resonator on it in a wide arc, deliberately swinging short of his foe as he had with Naruto. But Kankuro didn't flinch or otherwise react meaningfully. Dosu's eye narrowed and he took another swing, only for the black clad boy to latch on to the resonator with both arms, making a loud wooden clatter as he did so.

"Surprise," said Kankuro, before his mouth opened unnaturally wide. He started to shoot senbon out of his mouth, but Dosu had already hit the release on his resonator and was jumping back, lunging frantically to the side as Kankuro's head twisted unnaturally to follow him, spitting senbon at an amazing rate. Eventually, the flow of needles stopped, although a clicking noise could be heard in his mouth for a moment before whatever mechanism that shot the senbon stopped as well.

The bandages on the package loosened, revealing the real Kankuro, who had a far more sinister smile on his face. The fake Kankuro crouched defensively in front of him, his facial features now cracked and broken, revealing some sort of elaborate wooden puppet underneath. The real Kankuro moved his fingers slightly, and the puppet reached back and handed the resonator to its controller.

"Meet Karasu, my little kabuki puppet." He was examining the resonator in a very careful manner, although most of his attention remained on Dosu. "Nice toy," he said, looking at the metal device. "Unfortunately, I was paying attention when you used it back at the written exam. You should try something new."

"I am," Dosu said as he raised his hands in the snake seal, the one traditionally used for explosive tags.

Kankuro threw the resonator away as hard as he could, and with a few more twitches of his fingers, he brought his puppet about to shield him from the blast. After a moment of silence, he let out a laugh, and moved his puppet to watch Dosu reattach the metal device to his forearm. "I should have known," he said, shaking his head at his own error. "That would be like blowing apart my puppet. I'd do it in a battle, but not for a match like this."

Dosu finished attaching his resonator, checked its fittings, and then created two illusionary doubles. "I'll give you credit," he said, and his voice had a slight bit of warmth to it. "I did not expect to have to use any sort of ninjutsu in these matches. Still, you won't be rid of me so easy." He and his illusions crowded into one another, merging and then separating before starting to circle carefully a few feet out of Kankuro's reach.

Kankuro did not spin with them, and did not seem inclined to try and figure out the real one. He simply allowed his puppet to drape over his shoulder and waited. After a few moments, all three copies of Dosu lunged forward, but before they could reach their target, Kankuro's puppet opened its mouth and dropped a small sphere that exploded into a smoke screen. Dosu pressed his attack, lunging into the cloud of billowing smoke.

The observers heard the sound of the puppet launching senbon, and a flurry of needles flew out of the cloud in several directions. There was a moment of silence, then the cloud dispersed, revealing Kankuro laying on the ground beneath his puppet. The puppet was leaning forward with both arms swept back and its face towards Dosu, who was covered in needles. He took a step forward, then dropped to his knees. "How?" he managed to ask as he struggled to move.

Kankuro stood and dusted himself off. "I assumed you would attack from behind. Everyone does. So I set Karasu's main weapon to fire directly behind my previous position, and some secondary ones at the locations of your bunshin, just in case. The poison is paralytic, by the way. It's over."

Hayate landed next to Dosu and nudged him, sending the genin slumping to the floor. He turned to the Hokage and said, "Winner, Kankuro."

* * *

Kakashi nodded to himself up on the stands while medics came to get Dosu, then turned to his students. "A few lessons from this. Never attack from directly behind a shinobi, because they will be expecting it. Never limit yourself to a single type of attack or technique. And when your opponent does something unexpected, assume it is a trap and evade. Sure, you'll look silly jumping around if they don't attack, but dead people can't be embarrassed."

"But won't a good opponent expect you to never attack from behind?" Sakura asked from where she had settled earlier.

Kakashi smiled. "That's the Poison Chalice puzzle." His genin looked confused, so he walked over and sat down next to Sakura, waving the other two over as he did so. Reaching into his pouch, he pulled out two slips of paper and held them up. "Pretend that we decided to test our wits against one another. One is an exploding tag. One is a fake. We must both pick one, place it on our head, and then a third party will activate it. We are certain that only one is explosive. We are certain the third party is neutral." He turned away for a moment, scribbling on one of the papers, then turned back and set one down in front of himself, and the other in front of Sakura. "Which one is the real tag?"

All three genin stared at the slips of paper. Sasuke was the first to look away, shaking his head. Sakura did so shortly after, palming her face as she did so. Naruto pointed at the one in front of Kakashi and grinned.

"Why that one, Naruto?"

"You're tricky, Sensei. You know that I will assume you gave me the poisoned one, and assumed I would take the one in front of you." Naruto crossed his arms and grinned.

Kakashi smirked and nodded his head. "Sure, sure. But how do you know I am not expecting you to assume the one in front of me is real, and thus actually give you the real one? As you said, I am tricky."

Naruto made what he probably thought was a "serious thinking" face, then pointed at the tag in front of him. "That one," he said, with utmost certainty. Kakashi reached over and hovered his hand just above the tag.

Sakura grinned at Naruto, not a sweet and friendly grin, but a grin with teeth. "But Naruto, how do you know he doesn't know you know? He might be expecting you to know this, and thus gave himself the tag, expecting you to assume a single layer of trickery is not enough."

Before Naruto could reply, Sasuke gave him a light slap in the back of the head. "It's an infinite loop, dobe. You can never be certain what your foe knows. In your case, you can probably never be certain what you know, either." Sasuke ducked Naruto's fist with a laugh and watched his friend fume.

The thought rolled around in Sasuke's mind for a moment before settling. _Huh, yeah, I suppose he is my friend_. Sasuke was not the friendly type. He understood the concept, but until this very moment, he didn't really understand what it was. As a child, his friends had all been family members, some close, some distant. They were different. They were family.

Sasuke had always figured that being friends was a decision, made deliberately, a sort of social contract to remain neutral with each other, but what he felt now was the same as he once felt for his cousin, who used to play catch with him, or his uncle, who used to tell him stories on rainy days.

Then he felt a chill run through him, remembering what had happened to his past friends. He realized, standing in the middle of the exam, watching Naruto argue game theory with Kakashi, that friendship meant one thing to him: Loss.

Because in the end, he would lose his friend. It might be in combat, a kunai in the dark or a fiery jutsu. It might be to an illness, a slow and painful decline. It might just be of old age, when their bodies simply stopped working. But some day, he'd lose his friend, just like he lost...

He started slightly, and looked up to see Sakura standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?" she asked, frowning slightly. "You suddenly went quiet and kind of shut off for a moment. Had me a little worried." Even Kieri, perched on her shoulder, looked concerned.

Something strange took hold of him then. He found that he didn't want to keep his thoughts to himself for once. He wanted her input, valued it even, because surely it was something she had faced as well. He swallowed painfully through the knot in his throat, and in a quiet voice, he asked, "How do you face the eventual loss of a friend? I just realized... some day, all friendship ends. How can I make more bonds, knowing how it will hurt to lose them?"

Sakura shrugged. "I can't answer that for you. But as for myself..." She watched Kakashi and Naruto arguing even harder after the blond found out that both slips of paper had been marked as traps with a fond smile. "I think, faced with an inevitable loss, the goal becomes to get as much out of the deal as you can. In a fight. In relationships. In life itself. Get what you can, while you can, and enjoy it."

Kieri chose that moment to meow from her place on Sakura's shoulder, then jumped down and began rubbing against Sasuke's leg. He leaned down and idly scratched the cat's back, getting a pleasant purr from it. "She's a cat, Sasuke. She'll live fifteen years at best, assuming nothing happens to her on duty. Should I flinch away from her, knowing I'll almost certainly lose her some day?" Sakura leaned down and scooped up her cat then flipped it upside down and burrowed her face in its tummy, making little muffled growling noises while Kieri halfheartedly grumbled and batted at the girl's pink hair. Sakura pulled her face back and gave Kieri a kiss on the nose, saying, "But then I'd miss this fuzzy little tummy!" All the attention caused the cat to flop back in her arms and start purring again.

Kakashi and Naruto suddenly stopped arguing and looked at the announcement board, and then at Sasuke. Naruto had a huge smirk on his face, but Kakashi looked alarmed. Sakura looked up at the board before Sasuke could, then grinned cheerfully. "Looks like you're up, Sasuke. And get your game face on, it's going to be tough."

Sasuke looked up at the board and felt a moment of dread. _I just know this is going to turn into some sort of battle for her fair maiden blossom or something stupid._

"Uchiha Sasuke, Rock Lee, please come down for your match."

"YOSH! I SHALL FIGHT UCHIHA-SAN FOR THE RIGHT TO PROTECT THE FAIR MAIDEN SAKURA!"

_Damn._

* * *

**Author's Note:** No big name fights yet, so sorry, but I need to cover the smaller ones at some point, and I believe I made this interesting enough to make do. I am not completely happy with the Kankuro v Dosu fight, and feel it is the weakest match I have planned.

That's right, even Gaara's match should be more interesting, rather than the traditional, "Gaara uses Sand Coffin immediately, the end" fights you often get in fanfic.

I was also deeply pleased to see the overwhelmingly positive reaction to Sakura v Shino. I cannot promise every match will be that awesome… but I think I can safely say the majority will be. The only two I was worried about was Kankuro v Dosu, and one other fight that I simply cannot reasonably stretch out far enough to be interesting.

Thanks to **Heaven's Eagle** for beta reading this chapter. It certainly reduces the editing passes.

**Cute Kirby **mentioned that I keep messing up Kieri's name, and comments how mentally, she labels her "Kyrie." Amusingly, that's half my problem, my own internal label is "Keeree," which would not work when spelt out as such. However, I made a note to check the spelling on her name before posting, so hopefully it'll happen less often. EDIT: Personal gender identification pronoun updated to meet **Cute Kirby's** specifications.

**depressedchildren** mentioned how the alternate cursed seal can be used as a carrot and a stick to goad Sasuke into following Orochimaru. Well considered, but incorrect on all but one thing. We'll wait and see what that one thing is. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

**Death276**, fear not. Shikamaru, much like his canon counterpart, will not give up, if only because it would make home life and life with his team far too troublesome. I cannot promise he'll win, however. It depends who he is matched with, and how hard he thinks.

**Illucidia** mentioned wondering who was cleaning out the competition in the tower. It will not come up in the future, so no harm sharing now: It was Dosu, Kin, and Zaku, being their usual ruthless selves. Like Shikamaru mentioned, the rules did not explicitly state that people in the tower were safe.

Thanks for catching those errors, **PoisonedWit**. Love the name, by the way.


	28. Honor and Blood! Sasuke vs Lee!

Sasuke chose to take the stairs down to the arena floor. He was more than capable of jumping the distance, as Lee did moments after the match was called, but a few moments to plan and prepare would be useful. Sakura had told him a little about Lee after she rejoined his group at the tower, and Sasuke had to admit to himself that he was quite nervous at facing down a taijutsu powerhouse, even if Lee could not use ninjutsu or genjutsu. The stories Naruto told of his time training with Guy and Lee did not help any either.

But he was not without his own abilities, hard learned and hard trained. He had his tools. He had his training. He had his mind. He only needed to use them the right way, and he could win. So he walked down the stairs slowly, thinking carefully, and by the time he reached the bottom step, he was already reaching into his pouch and retrieving a pair of lightweight goggles, tinted slightly red. By his first step on the arena floor he was lightly fingering the various orbs, flasks, and tags on his person, checking the dots and scratches he placed on them for identification. One more step, and his smile was back in place. _I got this_.

Lee was already waiting on the floor, standing at the ready, one hand forward and a cheerful smile on his face. "Yosh! I am ready for our youthful battle, Sasuke-san! I will defeat you with my hard work, so others may know how hard they must work to earn the right to try and woo Sakura-chan!"

Up on the observation platform, Sakura palmed her face, trying to cover the faint blush slowly creeping its way across her cheeks. Based on the glances and laughter she got, she was only partially successful. _I am going to need to talk to Lee about this,_ she thought to herself.

Sasuke managed a cheerful smirk while checking the fit on his goggles and slipping them on. "As you like, Lee." He stepped forward and offered a fist. "No hard feelings?"

Lee grinned and stepped forward to bump fists. "There are never hard feelings, when two opponents give all on the field of battle." He backed up and returned to his ready stance. Sasuke stepped back as well, and beneath his goggles, his eyes turned red.

Hayate stepped back and raised his hand. "Begin," he said, jumping away as he did so.

Lee wasted no time. The moment Hayate moved away, he was charging across the floor, his poise and form perfect, his speed incredible. But it still took time for him to run that distance, and in that time, Sasuke had already reached into his pouch and dropped the small sphere he had felt for earlier. It exploded into a cloud of smoke, thick and gray. Sasuke ducked and tumbled slightly to the side as Lee continued through the smoke in a single bound, scything through the spot Sasuke had been standing with a whirlwind kick that parted the cloud for a moment before it resettled.

The green clad genin landed on the other side of the cloud and turned to face it. His smile had not faded in the least, and he took his same starting position as always. "You think you can hide in that smoke, Sasuke-kun? You will find that I am not so easy to fool!" He reached into his pouch and pulled out a length of black silk, which he quickly tied over his eyes before returning to his stance.

Sasuke, watching Lee's chakra through the smoke screen, smiled and quietly pulled another sphere out of his pouch, this one significantly larger and made of metal with a single button on the top. He crouched, carefully positioning his feet as quietly as he could, before he deliberately scraped one of his feet across the ground, so lightly as to be nearly, but not quite, inaudible.

Lee turned his head slightly at that lightest of sounds and dashed into the smoke, spinning into another kick and hitting nothing but air. He turned his head back and forth, breathing silently, and when he heard another scrape behind him, he did not hesitate, delivering a jump kick that made the air whistle in its passing. With each sound came a fresh attack, delivered with careful and impeccable form and precision.

Sasuke watched each attack carefully with his sharingan, observing his foe's every move. He pulled out a kunai and lightly tossed it to one side, and Lee promptly attacked that area with flying kick, then stopped where he was to listen carefully in the smoke. A shuriken, tossed lightly in the other direction, had the same result. Finally, he pressed the button on the metal orb and tossed it just out of his reach. It landed with a thump, skidding slightly but not rolling. In moments, Lee was there, nudging the sphere with his foot, a curious look on his face.

"You might have made it if you had not stopped in place, Lee." Lee spun in place, arms raised, ready to defend himself, but Sasuke only stepped back slightly. He made no effort to keep his footsteps silent, and Lee charged immediately. He only made it three steps before he stumbled, his legs pinwheeling slightly before he crashed into the ground and slid to a stop near Sasuke's feet.

Sasuke shook his head and knelt down next to Lee, who was laying in a heap. "The sphere had a numbing agent. It won't hurt you, but you're not going any-" Sasuke's jaw snapped shut as Lee's fist smashed into it, sending Sasuke tumbling out of the smoke cloud, skidding and bouncing across the floor before he fetched up against the wall. He looked into the cloud, then his eyes widened as he rolled to one side just in time to avoid a crushing knee drop from Lee that cracked the cement floor.

Lee stood smoothly with his back still to Sasuke, although Sasuke's sharingan eyes could make out a tiny amount of hesitancy in his motions. "A mere numbing agent will not stop me, Sasuke-san. It is true, I cannot feel my body, but I know my body through years of training." He turned and entered his starting stance, a broad smile on his face as he removed his blindfold. "I do not need to feel my body to control it!"

Sasuke was no fool. He knew he was good at taijutsu, very good at it compared to most genin, but Lee had focused entirely on taijutsu alone. It would have been the height of arrogance for him to assume he was better at it then his opponent. The moment Lee began to charge at him, Sasuke was backing off, exhaling a cloud of fire as he did so. He had no reason to believe the cloud would deter Lee much, and in that way avoided disappointment when Lee dodged around the fireball. The fight quickly devolved into a game of keep-away, Sasuke relying on his fireballs to shield him from attack even as Lee used his speed to avoid the fire and try to move in.

Unfortunately, that stalemate could not last long. With each cloud of fire, Sasuke's chakra reserve dwindled, but Lee lost little of his strength as he dodged around them. In a fight of endurance, Sasuke would lose.

Sasuke made another set of hand seals then inhaled deeply, holding his breath for the right moment and letting the chakra flow into his chest. When Lee charged forward he exhaled again, but this time he spit out a thin stream of fire, just as he had when Haku had tried to trap him. He aimed the stream slightly lower than he normally would, worried about possibly killing Lee, but Lee jumped away, sailing over Sasuke and landing with a quick roll before righting himself and rushing to one side.

Sasuke followed Lee's frantic moves, trying to tag him in the legs to end the match, but Lee was no slouch when it came to evasion. He was effective in his dodging, taking advantage of Sasuke's limited movement. Any time Sasuke's plasma lance came close to his legs, the boy would leap into a wildly different direction, forcing Sasuke to spend effort redirecting the stream. Sasuke continued to exhale his technique until spots began to dance in front of his eyes, then let it end and took a quick, gulping breath. Lee lunged forward, darting in to finish the fight, but Sasuke quickly exhaled an enveloping breath of fire directly in front of himself, spinning around to cover all directions in a giant burning cloud with what little breath he had managed to take. He finished, and caught sight of Lee landing on the statue.

The boy was laughing cheerfully and reaching down for his ankles, yelling, "I can't believe it! Finally!" Sasuke felt a chill down his spine as Lee pulled off a pair of training weights and held them out. Naruto had told him about his own training sword and how it worked, and he was not surprised when the weights hit the ground hard enough to leave a small pair of craters. Sasuke knew he had only moments to act. He dipped both of his hands deep into his pockets and pulled them out, clutching two fists full of his enhanced dust.

Lee jumped from his perch and landed in a deep crouch, mere feet from Sasuke, who was already raising both arms in an overhand throw. He released the right handful of dust at Lee, who lunged forward… and then vanished in a blur, barely visible even with Sasuke's sharingan. But even as Lee vanished, Sasuke's left arm continued downward, still carrying the paralytic dust, and with a quick flick, Sasuke tossed it directly behind himself, scattering it as widely as he could.

Lee was not a sannin, and did not have any special resistance to the poison. The moment he hit the glittering cloud, his body spasmed, turning his powerful charge into a powerful and painful tumble. He crashed into Sasuke's back hard enough to make both of their teeth rattle and sending them both tumbling part way across the arena. When they rolled to a stop, Sasuke picked himself up and checked on Lee, who was twitching violently on the ground. _Even paralysis can barely hold him,_ Sasuke thought. _Sweet kami, what a beast!_ He pulled out a kunai and held it to Lee's throat, even if his arm was shaking after the hit. "It's over, Lee. Stop shaking and let them call it."

Lee continued to fight for several moments before he finally lay still, a deep sigh escaping between his lips. Hayate jumped down to them and had a quick look, then nodded and turned to the observers. "Winner, Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke was slightly surprised at the cheers he got from Sakura and Naruto, and he saw Shino give him a nod from the railing. The other Konoha shinobi were either smiling or cheering. Even Guy seemed enthused about the match, in spite of his student's loss.

A thought crossed Sasuke's mind, a sudden moment of… pity. He was surprised to find that he did not feel the pity out of disdain, but out of respect. Lee might have crushed any number of foes with his obvious speed and strength, and only had the bad luck of being picked against someone who had the tools to defeat him. It felt wrong, in a way, for someone so obviously strong to fall to nothing worse then bad luck.

"Wait," he said as the medics came out to tend to Lee. He dug into his hip pouch, then pulled out a small vial and handed it to one of them. "Antidote," he grunted. "He should be fine in a few minutes after he gets this, unless he got hurt in the tumble." He turned to Lee and crouched down to pat him on the shoulder. "If Kakashi had not discussed that exact scenario with me and my team before our match, you probably would have crushed me in a few more moments. I need some taijutsu practice, and I would enjoy testing myself against you again." Lee managed to force a shaky smile, and after a moment, his thumb came up, even if he couldn't get his arm up with it.

He stood, and saw Guy giving him the same thumbs up, this time accompanied by a youthful pose, while behind him, Kakashi clapped slowly, his one visible eye filled with warmth. Naruto was grinning at him cheerfully, and Sakura was right there with him, smiling at him with her eyes alight. For a moment, he was not Uchiha Sasuke, avenger, tasked with slaying the last of his kin. He was just Sasuke, genin, who had won a tough battle and earned the respect of others.

He breathed deep and allowed himself a smile. It felt… good.

* * *

Team Seven was quite loud in their celebrations when Sasuke arrived, but that good cheer died when the next match was announced.

"Gaara, Zaku, please come down for your match."

Gaara vanished from his place by his team and reappeared on the floor in a swirl of sand, his face blank, almost disinterested. His plain black clothes were unmoved by his arrival, and his thin shoulders were unbowed by the obvious weight of the huge gourd on his back. Zaku, meanwhile, jumped down from the platforms with a smirk on his face and a swagger in his step. He wore a brown shirt, with the kanji for death scrawled down the front three times.

"Poor little guy," said Zaku, running a hand through the black tuft of hair that sprouted from his headband. "Stuck fighting a real shinobi from the only village worth a damn. You're probably gonna die, little fellow, unless you want to give up."

Gaara only gave Zaku a frightening smile, one full of teeth, his eyes shining with an odd inner light. Zaku's grin faltered for a moment, then came back full force. "Hey, I gave you a chance," he said with a shrug. "Don't go crying to your momma when I spank you then, kid."

"I'll talk to her before then," said Gaara, his smile not moving in the least.

Hayate held up his hand, then let it drop. "Begin!"

Zaku laughed cheerfully as he raised his hands, palms pointing at Gaara to reveal two holes leading into his arms. "Die," he shouted, pushing a blast of chakra laced air out of the holes. A nearly invisible distortion of air lanced out, blowing dust into a great cloud and engulfing Gaara. Zaku's laughter reached even greater heights as he pushed harder, slashing into the dust cloud and the barely visible figure of Gaara within. "Die!"

He finally released the jutsu, chuckling as the dust slowly settled, but his humor was short lived. As the dust fell out of the air, it revealed Gaara, standing just as immobile and emotionless as before. The only indication that he noticed the attack was the thick umbrella of sand that was slowly dropping to the ground.

"I see," said Gaara with a cold tone of voice. "You are like me. You want to prove your existence by ending my life, just as I look to do the same with yours." His smile was cold but genuine as he raised both of his hands and pointed them at Zaku. "Allow me to show you how helpless you really are."

The sand that had been floating beside Gaara lunged forward, its oddly flowing form spreading into a vague clawed shape as it reached for Zaku. Zaku shouted and jumped away, pushing as hard as he could with his chakra and riding the backblast from his arms to speed his escape. He landed twenty feet away with a surprised look on his face as he watched the arm of sand return to its controller.

Then Zaku started to laugh again. "I guess you're right, little genin. I do want to kill you. I want to prove my strength. I want everyone to know how strong I am!" He howled at the ceiling, raising his arms and screaming his fury. "I'll never roll over and call myself weak again! Not for you, not for those pussies up there watching, not for the damned Hokage himself!" The room cooled significantly at those words, and more than a few of the other observers glanced at the Hokage, who to his credit did not glare or otherwise react beyond a small smile at being dismissed by a genin. Even the others from Suna looked unhappy at the words. In the shinobi world, you can hate your foe with all your heart, but you did not insult such a long lived and powerful one casually. The other genin from Otogakure did not agree, however, because they both laughed loudly at their teammate's comment.

Zaku continued to laugh as he raised his arms and sent another, stronger blast at Gaara, one strong enough to blow away any dust he might have stirred and revealing Gaara's sand in action. It moved without any real effort from the Suna genin, forming a solid shield between the two of them and deflecting the twin blasts of air with its bulk. Then Zaku rotated his wrists slightly, pulling his palms closer together. The twin streams of air combined and focused, and a single small area of the sand shield started to divot under the pressure. Sand began to blow out of the divot at an alarming rate, scattering across the arena. "Hide all you want behind your sand," snarled Zaku, "It won't save you. I'll carve my way straight through!"

Zaku wavered for a moment when the laughter started. It was a low and deep chuckle that made chills run down his spine, a sound born of sand that had been blown away from the shield started to stream back to it, reinforcing it even as more sand blew away. The shield of sand then began to advance slowly towards Zaku, and no matter how he focused on it, he found he could not push it back.

"Yes," said Gaara, slowly walking forward behind his shield. "Push. Fight. Struggle. Put all of your energy and life into your futile attack. Prove my existence as I remove your own." Several tendrils of sand whipped out from behind the shield, sliding along the ground and lashing at Zaku's feet, forcing him to turn his palms down and use them to thrust away again. He snarled as he rose into the air, his fury written clearly within his eyes, then came to a sudden, jarring stop. He looked down and saw a fourth strand of sand clinging to his ankle like a tentacle, pulling him down.

Zaku shouted and flailed, but the sand was irresistible, pulling him down to the ground, and to the waiting coils of the other tendrils of sand. Gaara raised his hands and the sand began to creep up Zaku's body slowly, clenching his limbs and torso painfully tight. "Hey," he said with a chilling smile, "I gave you a chance. Don't go crying to your mother when I spank you." His dull monotone turned the mockery on its head, from hot blooded trash talk to a cold eulogy. He raised his hands fully, and the sand flowed up to cover Zaku's body completely.

_No,_ thought Zaku as the sand enveloped him, _I will not die here!_ He pulled up as much chakra as he could manage, exhausting his reserves instantly, and focused it all into his arms, biting back a scream as the pressure within the sand skyrocketed.

Gaara opened his mouth to call out his deadly attack, feeling a rush of warmth from the knowledge that it would be the last thing his foe ever heard, but with sudden and terrible force, the ball of sand exploded, sending Zaku flying across the arena. Zaku managed to roll to his feet as he skidded away, but it was a graceless act. His arms dangled at his side, shredded to the bone, and several gaping holes could be seen where his arms had simply popped.

"How often can you do that?" asked Gaara, slowly approaching the panting Oto genin. "How many times can you blow apart your own limbs before all that is left is ragged meat and blood for Mother?" He began to raise his hands again, and the sand coiled and whirled around it, reforming into countless tendrils.

Zaku sighed and dropped to a knee and bowed his head in submission. He had no reserves and no functioning arms or hands, and he had been taught carefully the difference between betting his life and committing suicide. _I bring no value to my village dying here. _"I yield," he said quietly. "I can't defeat you… yet."

"I do not accept."

Zaku's head snapped up as Gaara's sand rushed at him, but he was not fast enough to escape its grip. The sand lunged at him, one huge mass, a wave of unstoppable earth. Gaara laughed as his sand flowed, until the sound of his voice was drowned out by a keening whistle, and Hayate's sword sliced neatly through the wave of sand. The sand crumbled when it was bisected, then regathered itself at Gaara's feet.

"The match is over," said Hayate, and he did not cough or breathe shallowly as he spoke. He was in full control of himself, if only for a few moments, and in those moments, he had power. "If you try to continue, you will forfeit. And if you still try to continue, I will slay you."

Gaara smiled. "So others have said. I am here, and they are not. I will kill you too, proctor."

"And will you kill me?" called out Sarutobi Hiruzen, taking a single step towards the distant genin, his hands still folded neatly. His face, however, was set in a grim manner, and his eyes gleamed with dangerous power. "Do you think you can also slay the Third Hokage, God of Shinobi? Will you try, for the sake of slaying some lowly genin?" Hiruzen smiled, and it was not a friendly or charitable smile. "Be careful, lest you draw the attention of others who would prove their worth to you."

Gaara froze in a rare moment of indecision, before he gave the older man a stiff nod and his sand withdrew into his gourd. He walked to the stairs in silence, and up the stairs in silence, and across the platform in silence, ignoring each glare and frightened glance he received from the others, until he returned to his family and sat on the bench, in silence. And in that silence, he could almost hear their thoughts about him. _Madness. Danger. Fear._

It was almost enough to make him smile.

"I'll feed you soon, Mother," he whispered quietly to himself.

* * *

Sakura shivered as Gaara sat in his place with his team. She was quite an observant young woman, and she noticed how the boy's own team leaned away from him as he approached. _Even his own team feared him._

Those thoughts were banished when she saw the next match flash on the board, and she shot a nervous glance at her best friend, biting her lip slightly as she did so. Ino still looked so tired and withdrawn, even days after the forest, and for a moment, Sakura had to fight the urge to tell her to yield and spare herself, because her foe certainly looked like they knew how to fight.

She opened her mouth, then shut it as Ino shot a glance at her. As worn down as she looked, something in Ino's eyes sparkled, and she straightened herself as she stood, a little steel sliding into her spine.

Hayate called out clearly for all to hear. "Yamanaka Ino, Temari, please come down for your match."

* * *

**Author's Note:** That was a tough chapter to write, and I apologize it is comparatively short (I aim for 5k words minimum in a chapter now, and this fell short at around 4k before notes). First, I has Sasuke v Lee, which I wanted to make as something other than the one sided crush-fests I generally see in fic. Then I had Gaara v Zaku, which was really hard to make even remotely interesting. Hopefully the next update will not take nearly as long, especially considering one of possibly the most interesting fights is coming up next. It will not be as one sided as you might expect.

I wanted to suggest a fic I happened to catch, **Re-alignment** by **pointer39**. It is written fairly well for a fanfic, but where it shines is its depiction of the interactions between Orochimaru and Jiraiya, which tend to have a solid tactical feel to them. Worth reading for that alone, really.

Full credit to those of you who caught the Princess Bride reference last chapter. While the theory comes from much further in the past, I decided to do the proper trope thing and refer to it in the manner most would recognize it.

**CuteKirby **knows already, but for those curious, Shikamaru does not fight a girl this time (amongst other things, we're running out of them.) His fight will probably be the second most interesting, after Sakura's… or maybe after Ino's, depending on your point of view.

I want to thank **Erasels** for the negative review. No, seriously. I hit 300 reviews yesterday, and of those three hundred, I had one person slinging racial slurs as a guest (modded out), and two from **Erasels**. It was bound to happen, but hitting 300 beforehand is, from my view, an excellent and telling trait.

For those of you like **Quinn1989**, who think Naruto is not getting enough credit, just wait for it. It's in the next couple chapters. It'll be so much fun.

**Death276** mentioned that he forgot about the Sound trio. Frankly, I did too. I knew that I was forgetting someone, so I looked up the contestants when I started planning the exam arc and realized I had forgetting an entire team.

And thanks again to **Heaven's Eagle** for beta work.


	29. Wit vs Chaos! A Battle of Minds!

Temari laughed when she saw the bedraggled creature that was her foe. The blond girl was almost a mockery of what Temari had been taught made a good kunoichi, and contrasted sharply with her own appearance. Ino's hair was long and luxurious, running down to her hips, while Temari kept hers in a series of short bobs. Ino's arms and legs had no definition, showed no sign of hard work at all, while Temari's frame was well filled with lean muscle. Ino had any number of loose articles of clothing to grab and control her with, while Temari's outfit was carefully tailored to remain close to her skin and much harder to grab. Temari laughed, because she was facing a joke.

The only saving grace she saw in Ino was the look in the girl's eyes. She expected Ino to be catty, full of false bravado, or maybe friendly, trying to soften the blow of her inevitable loss. But when the girl looked at Temari, it was a cold and calculating stare, and Temari felt a touch of respect. The girl was ill prepared for the chunin exams, but she looked like she knew it. She still had no chance against Temari, but she might make a good kunoichi some day.

Temari drew her weapon from her back, a four foot fan made of steel with a paper cover. She slapped the end of the handle on the ground and let it unfurl slightly, revealing a single large purple dot on the otherwise white fan. "I will need only a single moon to defeat you. Feel proud, kunoichi. If it were not for the look in your eyes, I wouldn't even give you that much credit."

Ino did not look away, nor did she say anything. She studied Temari carefully during her entire speech, then nodded to Hayate to indicate she was ready.

Shikamaru sighed from his place on the balcony as he leaned on the railing. "This match is going to be troublesome," he said quietly to himself. To his surprise, Sakura noticed his grumbles, and leaned on the rail next to him.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"Bad," he replied. "The three of us are specialists. We focus on our clan techniques, and use them as a group to control the battlefield." He let out another sigh as Hayate jumped away. Ino threw a kunai at Temari, who swung her fan and casually knocked the blade away with a gust of wind. "But what we don't have is a lot of one on one stopping power. Choji has most of our strength. And Ino has it worse, because her clan technique is slow moving and ranged."

Ino was jumping around the arena, avoiding further blasts of wind from Temari. From the look on the Suna genin's face, Ino was doing a much better job at dodging than Temari had expected. But Ino already looked winded, her poor physical conditioning starting to make itself known. From time to time, she would toss another kunai or two, and Temari would dutifully blow those away too.

"Does she have any hope?" asked Sakura, watching the somewhat one sided fight with a concerned frown.

Shikamaru seemed to shrink slightly into himself as he pressed his fingers and thumbs together and crouched slightly. He shut his eyes and for a moment he went silent and still. Eventually he relaxed and returned to his previous slouch on the railing, continuing talking as if he had never paused. "She has a nominal load-out for an on duty shinobi. Kunai, a few feet of wire, a few smoke pellets, ration bars, iodine drops. She has her clan technique, which is almost a certain win if she can hit with it, and the academy standard techniques. I can think of a few things she can do to set up a win. My concern is if she will think of any before it's too late. She's down to her last kunai already."

On the floor, Ino was holding on to a single kunai held in both hands and was panting heavily as sweat rolled down her face. Temari had yet to move any meaningful distance, and was standing at rest, her fan held to her left side, ready to swing.

The Suna genin was breathing evenly, without a drop of sweat or hair out of place. "Hardly impressive," she said with a nasty grin. "Lots of sweat and puffing, all to throw a few useless kunai. Maybe you should yield now and save yourself the trouble."

For the first time, Ino smiled, and her voice was lighter than it had been since the forest... and Sasuke. "Nothing wrong with getting a feel for your opponent, even one as mouthy as you!" She struck a victory pose, one hand behind her back and one arm forward with fingers extended into a "v" shape. She was smiling cheerfully as she shouted out, "I've got you now, bushy hair!"

The smoke pellets from her pouch, every one of them, dropped from the hand behind her back and exploded into a disgustingly thick cloud of smoke. Temari laughed and then swung her fan from left to right, blowing it back, but between the tight confines of the room and the sheer thickness of the smoke, she was unable to dissipate it completely. It was pushed back enough to reveal Ino, who was charging at Temari with her kunai in hand and a focused glare. Something felt wrong to about the situation to Temari, and it took her a moment to figure it out.

_She didn't move when I blew back the smoke!_ Temari was no lightweight when it came to her wind jutsu. A skinny thing like Ino should have at least been blown off balance. To see her charging and unmoved implied something was up, and only a cursory glance told Temari that the Ino in front of her was a harmless illusion. _But where could she be?_ Temari smiled a nasty grin. She had been paying attention to the previous fight, and she knew this trick.

Temari used the weight and momentum of her fan, still coming to rest after her last blast of wind, to spin quickly to her right and spotted the real Ino attacking from behind and getting close. "Not nearly good enough," she shouted, continuing her previous spin and sending another powerful blast of air at the girl.

The air passed through Ino without even ruffling her hair, and Temari cursed herself mentally. _Who would try the same trick mere minutes after we both saw it? _She continued to turn to her right, sacrificing power for speed as she realized her back was to her foe, and completed the turn to see Ino almost within reach. Temari swung her fan as hard and fast as possible at Ino's face.

Ino was already dropping into a roll by the time Temari had fully turned. She tumbled under the fan, the wind from its passing shredding a few strands of loose hair, and came up within Temari's guard, both arms lashing straight out in a desperate strike. Temari flinched back slightly, and Ino's hit only managed to ruffle cloth. Temari raised her fan up for a downward strike with a laugh, then stopped when Ino slumped the the ground.

Temari lowered the fan, setting it on the ground, then stepped forward and nudged Ino with her foot, turning her over. The girl was covered in bruises and minor abrasions from her efforts, and her skin was filthy from the thick smoke, but she had a huge smile on her face.

"Pathetic," said Temari, looking at her fallen foe. Temari stepped back, almost to the edge of the arena, then turned around to face the wall and raised her hand. "I give up," she shouted clearly.

In the stands, Shikamaru smirked. "When you have a slow attack," he said quietly to Sakura, who was staring open mouthed at the two girls below, "You have to make your foe stand still... or get so close it doesn't matter."

Temari slumped for a moment, then whirled, her face going red as Ino pulled herself up, still panting. She shot Temari a grim smile as she stood, propping herself up with her hands on her knees. "You don't dodge," she said, slowly straightening. "You never once dodged, even though you could have easily avoided some of my kunai with a simple step to the side. You use your fan as a shield, and when I got inside your shield, your habit of immobility betrayed you." She let out a harsh sigh and turned to Hayate, who was walking forward and calling Ino the winner of the match.

"I give up too."

Hayate froze, and a single eyebrow rose slightly, although the image was ruined when another cough made his cheeks blowout for a moment. Along the balconies, there was only silence, even amongst the Suna team. Only two other figures reacted physically to the declaration. Her jonin teacher, Sarutobi Asuma, groaned and ran a palm over his face. And his father, the Hokage, smiled discreetly.

Ino bowed deeply to Asuma. "I am not fit for the rank of chunin. I have no experience with leadership, I have little ability beyond my clan techniques, and I have not put forth the effort needed to survive in the real world of the shinobi." She bowed to the Hokage, and if anything, her bow was deeper than before. "I ask your forgiveness, Hokage-sama, for so poorly representing Konohagakure."

Hiruzen stepped forward on his platform, then gave her a short and respectful bow. When he rose, he was smiling. "You put the duties of the chunin rank and the needs of the village ahead of personal prestige and advancement. I only wish every Konoha shinobi represented this village so well."

Ino rose with a cheerful smile on her face. But the Hokage was no longer smiling, instead frowning and looking beyond her. She heard Sakura and several others shout from the stands, and she felt a jolt of adrenaline as she turned to see Temari behind her, fan folded tight and already moving on an intercept course for her head. In an adrenaline fueled slow motion, Ino realized she could never dodge in time, even as she started to step back and raise her arms to defend herself.

Then Temari's fan exploded, tiny pieces of steel spraying across the arena, slashing into Ino's face and arms. She finished her step back to see Temari's own Jonin standing in front of her, one hand holding half of Temari's fan, the other half held out in the air in front of him, where a significant portion of the fan had explode at his touch. He wore a cloth shroud over half of his face, but the other half looked thunderous, and his glare was directed only at Temari, who was standing with the remaining stub of her fan still extended.

"Baki," she shouted at him, tossing the remains of the fan to the ground, "Why the hell did you do that?"

Baki dropped the other half he was carrying and crossed his arms. "You lost," he said, his voice deep and rough as if his throat had been damaged in the past, which only enhanced the menace in his voice. "Attacking a foe after you have lost the match dishonors your father's name, your village's name, my name as your sensei, and last and in this case certainly least, your name." He nudged the tattered iron fan with his foot and gave her a cool smile.

"You will have time to reflect on this over the weeks it will take to rebuild your fan. And it will take weeks, because you, personally, will handle every part of that construction. _You_ will carve the wooden case, by hand. _You_ will create the molds for the blades, one at a time, and destroy them after each use, creating only one blade per mold. _You_ will mine the iron ore from the earth, and _you _will smelt it yourself to rid it of impurities. And before any of that, you will explain this to your father, and do any additional tasks he assigns you. And until all of this is done, you will not take any mission on behalf of Sunagakure, not even the lowliest of D-ranks."

He turned as Temari snarled behind him and bowed to the Hokage, his bearing showing nothing but respect. "Apologies, Hokage-sama. This is the second of my genin to attack after a match has ended, and while Gaara has... problems that make him difficult to control, Temari has no excuse." Hiruzen nodded in acknowledgement, and Baki jumped back to his place on the platforms without another word.

The medics arrives and started to encourage Ino to come with them, already dabbing at a few of the cuts she had sustained when the fan exploded, but she stopped when Temari called out to her. She turned to see Temari standing there, her eyes shining as she blinked back her tears.

"If you were going to quit," Temari shouted, as a single tear of heated shame finally escaped and ran down her face, "Why did you compete? Why did you rob me of my chance?"

Ino shook her head and gave Temari a tired grin. "I was going to quit. Then you mouthed off, and I figured I'd make you earn your win before I gave up. Then you kept mouthing off after I ran out of kunai, and in the time you gave me with your smarmy words, I figured out how to crush you. Every time you opened your mouth, I decided I could go a little further, try a little harder. In a way, I couldn't have done it without you."

She shrugged and started to follow the medics, waving her hand lazily behind her as she did so. "Next time," she called out cheerfully, "Maybe you should just shut up, you cranky bitch."

* * *

Naruto was rubbing his hands together and staring at the board when Sakura wandered back to her team. She shot him a look, then turned to Sasuke, who rolled his eyes. She then looked to Kakashi, who shook his head and turned away. "What are you doing?" she asked Naruto. The boy was practically dancing from foot to foot, and at the rate he was going, Sakura would not be terribly surprised if his stare caused the board to burst into spontaneous flame.

"I know I'm next," said Naruto, letting out a faux evil chuckle. "I've been good, I've been patient, and we're running out of contestants. I'm going to be next. I can feel it in my very soul." He spread his arms and stepped towards the board slightly, shouting loud enough to be heard across the arena. "And the winner is..."

The names popped up.

"Misume, Yoroi, come down please," said Hayate, trying not to grin at the kid in orange who was having a screaming fit up on the platforms, struggling against the little pink haired girl who had him in a headlock.

* * *

Sasuke swallowed nervously, but he refused to look away.

Misume and Yoroi were _teammates._ They were _friends._ How could they?

They had exchanged banter before the match, and when Hayate started the fight, they had both charged. Neither one tried to dodge or avoid the other. Yoroi held out his glowing blue hands and grabbed at Misume, even as Misume wrapped his suddenly flexible arms around Yoroi's chest and head.

"That's silly of you, Misume," grunted Yoroi, wheezing slightly under the pressure of the headlock he was in. "You know I'll drain your chakra dry. Just by touching you, I will."

Misume had smiled coldly at his teammate's words. His arms had flexed, and Yoroi had time for only a single, ghastly yelp as his neck cracked under the pressure. Misume let his former teammate's body slump to the floor, and his parting words to his dying friend were, "Not fast enough to win."

How could he? _How could he?_ Kakashi noticed Sasuke's distress and patted him on the back, steering the genin away to look at him. He looked at Sakura and Naruto, and felt a slight bit of pride at the fact that neither of them looked any better than Sasuke. "Yoroi assumed he knew his foe's limits. He assumed he was safe. He lost from that assumption." He gave each of them a hard stare. "If you face each other in battle, I hope none of you would go so far. I believe none of you would go so far. But I never want any of you to make that assumption and leave your guard down. And if you do manage to willingly strike down your teammate…" Kakashi stood, gazing down at them, allowing a little killing intent to fill his words with fury and darkness and death.

"If you strike down your friend, pray they strike you down at the same time, because if not, I'll kill you myself, and it will not be an easy death." He turned to watch Misume, who was standing over his kill, arms crossed, as if daring someone to object. Even the cold gaze of the Hokage did not faze him. Kakashi chuckled darkly and shook his head at the bravado. "As for him, he might have won the fight, but he lost his future. What friend would risk themselves to come to his aid? What teammate would join him in a fight against a dangerous foe? Who would show him mercy on the battlefield? He's dead, he just doesn't know it yet." Kakashi leaned against the railing, his frame drooping slightly, and for just a moment, he looked like an old man, too tired to stand.

Sasuke looked at his teammates, then walked over and joined Kakashi at the railing. "If it comes to that," he said quietly, "let me know, and I'll tag along. We'll make a field trip out of that mission." Kakashi looked at Sasuke, who managed to keep his face deadly serious for almost five seconds before one corner of his mouth ticked upward, and after a moment, Kakashi started to laugh.

"Maa, maa, I get it," he said, waving his hands. "Really. I can almost imagine what my old teammate would say. 'Kakashi-san, stop being so angsty.' 'Kakashi-san, if you want, we can go get some hair dye and makeup after the mission, make you a proper goth-chan.' He always was quick to give me shit when I got in a mood." He reached out and ruffled Sasuke's hair, getting a frown and a grumble from the Uchiha boy, who started tucking his hair back into place beneath the goggles he still had on his head. Kakashi felt a sudden pang of sorrow, of guilt, at the memory of his old friend, long gone. But he let it go, and focused on what was in front of him, not behind him.

"You know," he said, his one eye twinkling, "you remind me of him a great deal. Remind me to tell you about Uchiha Obito when this is done, okay?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Naruto started cheering, as if he had already forgotten what he had seen. Sasuke looked towards the board and smiled. Naruto finally has his match.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru, please come down for your match."

Naruto leaped from the balcony with a cheer that lasted all the way to the ground. He landed with a tuck and roll, bouncing to his feet and raising his arms like a prize fighter, circling in place and shouting indiscriminate self praise to the world. He didn't hear the scoff from Kiba, the snort from Sakura, or the quiet encouragement from Hinata, and even if he had, he would not have reacted any differently.

He was Uzumaki Naruto, and it was time for him to shine. He could already hear the calls of the crowd, feel the flutter of confetti as it fell around him after his stunning victory. He bowed, imagining himself receiving a medal from the Hokage as Sakura and Sasuke waited for their own, for second and third place, of course.

"You look like an idiot," said Shikamaru, trudging slowly past the bouncing blond.

* * *

Asuma, meanwhile, was walking over to Team Seven's place with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Hey, Kakashi," he called, lighting a cigarette with exaggerated motions, "What do you say to double or nothing on this fight? I'll double my penalty if Shikamaru loses, against the original penalty of yours if he wins?"

Kakashi agreed with a curt nod, and Asuma laughed and pumped his fist. "What's so funny?" asked Sakura, pressing her fists to her waist with a look of poorly constrained fury, Kieri hissing slightly at the jonin from her shoulder. "Naruto's not the brightest…" They turned as one to watch Naruto continue his preemptive strutting, "But he's got a lot of guts and a lot of tricks."

Asuma waved his hands amiably. "I'm not saying he's not a good kid, and I bet he'd put quite a challenge to my other two genin, but Shikamaru is a tactical genius. Give him even the slightest chance to think, and he'll walk all over you."

"Then maybe you won't mind me joining in with a wager." Guy had wandered over as well, and Kakashi noticed with the aid of long familiarity that the normally boisterous jonin was fighting to remain calm and serious. "I think I am going to lose my bet with Kakashi, but I have an offer between the three of us. If Naruto wins, you double your time again. If Shikamaru wins, I wear the spandex of shame for the entirety of your previous bet." Asuma looked at Kakashi and raised an eyebrow, while behind him, Guy gave an exaggerated wink to Kakashi.

"Sounds fair to me," said Kakashi in a bored tone of voice.

Asuma turned from the group and walked away, already crowing, and in doing so, unknowingly imitating the blond in the arena floor, move for move. Kakashi leaned slightly towards Guy and whispered, "Does this mean we're going to see what you taught him, besides how to swing overly expensive swords like a novice?"

Guy gave a serious nod, and without a word, crossed his arms and leaned back to watch.

* * *

When Hayate jumped away, Shikamaru was already tense. Naruto was a brawler, always was, always would be, and Shikamaru was certainly not. He expected the blond to charge him immediately with reckless abandon, right into the path of his shadow binding jutsu. From there, it was as simple as miming the action of drawing one of Naruto's swords and holding it to his own neck to get Naruto to yield.

Instead of charging, however, Naruto crossed his arms and smirked. They both waited for some time, neither one moving, until a full minute had passed. "I'm shocked, Naruto," Shikamaru eventually said. "I've never seen you hold still for more than a few seconds. This must be a record."

Naruto laughed, not some faint and socially required chuckle, but a full laugh, full of mirth. "Nahh, I was thinking. I know you're smart as hell, Shikamaru. I also know that if you didn't trap me, I'd pummel you. And either way, this is not a deadly battle to either of us, so we have some leeway in how we fight. So how about we make this interesting?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in surprise, then nodded. "Let's hear it."

"Let's test your intellect versus what Guy-sensei calls my cunning. I won't bum rush you with clones or nothing. I'll set up some ground rules and limit myself to them. You'll have to figure out how to beat me, within my own self imposed limits. No hard work, no tedious dodging, just figure it out and you'll win. How's that sound?"

Shikamaru snorted. It sounded like a dream come true, and like most dreams, it couldn't be real. "This is a fight between shinobi, Naruto. Why would I trust you to keep your word?"

Naruto looked hurt at this. "Have you ever seen me go back on my word, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru thought very carefully on that. _Naruto is troublesome, but he's also a horrible liar. He always managed to pull off some incredible pranks, only to be caught when Iruka would directly question him. He's offering to reduce his own options, without requiring any sort of guarantee from me. And if he does break his word, I'll be in no worse a position then I already am._

"Fine," he said, shifting from his ready stance to his customary slouch. "Let's get this done and over with."

Naruto grinned and pressed his hands together. In a massive puff of smoke, he summoned exactly one hundred clones, who fanned out and spaced themselves evenly across the arena floor. Shikamaru was spooked at first, but every single clone kept their hands up, and many of them even turned their backs to him. Once they had settled, Naruto pulled out a storage scroll from his carryall. The scroll was quite thick, and each clone pulled out an identical scroll.

Naruto raised his scroll, and with glee, he shouted to the entire arena, "Now, see my ultimate technique! One Hundred and One Games for Bunshin to Play!" Every clone pulled at their scroll, and the arena filled with smoke as each one summoned an object from it.

Shikamaru ducked and rolled to one side, but nobody attacked him, and the smoke dissipated quickly… to reveal chaos.

Every clone was doing something different. There was no such thing as taking in every activity with a single glance. Shikamaru eyes were first drawn to the two clones who, between them, were setting up a Go board. Another clone jumped over the board, running fast as he could as he tried to keep a paper kite aloft in the windless environment of the arena. He ran by another clone who was hopping on a pogo stick, who then tripped over the pair setting up two long jump ropes, causing the clones waiting in line to grumble and complain. The noise of one hundred loud mouthed Narutos was deafening in the confined space, and all that moving orange registered as a blur of motion whenever Shikamaru's eyes lost their focus on an individual.

It was chaos, pure, unfiltered chaos.

Up on the balcony, Kakashi groaned and held his head in his hands while his team watched in surprised silence. "What did you do?" he asked nobody in particular.

Guy overheard him and laughed. "Tenten helped him with the scroll, I helped him get the goods he needed for the modifications, but for the most part, he did it himself. He sent hundreds of clones out each day to scrounge the junkyards and garbage cans of Konohagakure, and they managed to find and repair almost everything in the scroll, although he did need assistance with some of the more mechanical items." Guy smiled proudly, just as much as he would for his own students, because in a way, Naruto was. "I didn't teach him order. He will never be the sort to perform kata and make elaborate plans, and forcing such a wonderful round peg into a square hole would be unyouthful. So I encouraged his chaos."

As Shikamaru looked around, another clone walked up, this one henged into a circus ringmaster, remarkably realistic, down to the silver headed cane and the shining gold buttons on his red coat. He gave Shikamaru an elaborate bow.

"The rules are simple," said the Ringmaster. "Find the real me. No clone will attack you unless their playtime is disturbed. Once disturbed, they are allowed to fight, and they are shadow clones, so they can hurt you. The real me is allowed to act normally." Naruto grinned at Shikamaru, and the grin did not fall from his face when Shikamaru immediately flicked a kunai at the ringleader, who vanished with a puff of smoke when hit.

_Damn,_ thought Shikamaru, _I had to try. He must have swapped out during the initial clone summons._

"It's not that easy," came a call from the crowd behind him. Shikamaru whirled, but whoever had spoke was mixed in with that half of the milling, playing, chatty crowd. A single Naruto shouted, and a bell rang. Shikamaru turned to see one of the Narutos on a bike, a tiny little three wheeler suitable to a kid half his age. When Shikamaru did not move from his path, the Naruto rang the little bell mounted on the handle again and glared at him.

Shikamaru stepped aside. "Right, sorry," he said, stepping out of the way.

"No problem," replied the clone cheerfully, before peddling awkwardly, his legs moving furiously as his ride slowly crept along. Shikamaru turned to look through the crowd, and only barely heard the muffled "jerk" from the clone.

Shikamaru sunk down into a crouch, bringing his hands up in his meditative pose as he considered his options. He looked around at the crowds, taking in what detail he could from them as he thought. _All of them are completely engrossed in what they are doing, possibly to avoid the temptation to break the rules. A lot of them are also playing active games, probably in the hopes of running into me. _

He watched an impromptu game of tag happen between a team. One clone tripped and hit the ground hard enough to vanish. Another clone looked up from his finger paints and made the same hand sign the original had made at the beginning, and a new clone appeared in the lost one's place. By then, Shikamaru's kunai was already in flight. It pierced the sign making Naruto in the shoulder, and he vanished with a puff of smoke. "He's on to the hand signs," several of the nearby clones shouted. "Activate Shuffle Mode!" shouted several others.

Shikamaru sighed as every few seconds one or more clones would pause what they were doing and make the seal of the shadow clone technique, regardless if any clones needed replacing. "Only you would be this troublesome, Naruto!" he said in annoyance.

"I know, right," said a new Ringleader, walking up next to him. Shikamaru eyed the potential clone suspiciously, and it raised its hands slightly. "Sorry, sorry, I got replaced a few cycles ago, and my game is to annoy the contestants. All part of the show."

Shikamaru sighed and hung his head as several clones started walking on the edge of the platform railings, carrying small trays and shouting about peanuts and pretzels. It didn't help seeing the blond girl from Suna munching on a bag of them with a malicious grin on her face, her entire bearing indicating that, as much as her match sucked, she was now certain it could have been worse, never mind watching Choji trying to snatch an entire tray from a passing clone. Sakura was laughing like a madwoman, while Sasuke seemed focused on trying to find the real Naruto first with his sharingan. Even then Hokage seemed amused, although he was struggling valiantly not to crack a smile.

One of the clones finally got their accordion tuned and started playing. Badly. The ringleader clone winced, then buffed his fingers against his jacket. "It only gets worse, you know," he said casually. "I've seen the rehearsals. It takes about ten minutes before they get the potato gun operating. After that, it only takes a little longer before it explodes and starts disturbing play time for others." Shikamaru's eyes widened, and the ringleader grinned. "I never said _you_ had to disturb them, you know."

Shikamaru immediately stabbed the ringleader, who was far too smug, and watched him vanish again. _Shit,_ he thought, turning slowly in a circle. _Of all the times to not have a mass attack. Just my luck._ Focus. Think. _How is the real Naruto any different from the clones?_

He started to walk through the crowds, carefully picking his way past the two playing with a frisbee, and stepping carefully over the jacks game. He was so careful in avoiding the games of those around him, in fact, that he missed the line that had formed around a small table where two clones were arm wrestling.

The moment he stepped through the line, the clone in front of him shouted, "No cuts, you jerk!" It lashed out with one of its swords, windmilling rapidly but ineffectively as Shikamaru backed up hurriedly. It was then that he discovered that the jacks the two clones were playing with were in fact small caltrops, which neatly sliced through his sandals and into his foot. As the jacks players stood and drew their swords, he dropped a smoke bomb and henged into a clone himself, then took a seat next to a pair of clones playing checkers with an air of serious business about them.

"Smooth," said one of the clones, reaching out to move a red piece forward. He sat back and much to Shikamaru's chagrin, the clone imitated his thinking pose with an annoying degree of accuracy. The previously upset clones, not seeing where their target had gone, returned back to their places and continued on as if nothing had happened.

_So the clones will reset, at least for the moment, if I manage to escape fully… or Naruto wants me to think that._ Shikamaru felt a moment of dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He was not accustomed to assigning the possibility of Naruto's intelligence being significant to his thoughts, but under the circumstances, he realized that he could make no assumptions. He froze and looked at the clone that he spoken to him with some trepidation. "You're not going to tell me that watching is disturbing you, are you?" asked Shikamaru quietly.

"Nahh," said the clone, waving his hand quietly, "I'm okay with observers in my games." He smiled cheerfully, just as the clone across from him raised his hands in the snake seal and grinned. "That guy, on the other hand…" His words were cut off as the explosive tag under the checkers board detonated, dispelling them both and nearly hitting Shikamaru as he scrambled away.

_How troublesome._ Shikamaru was starting to really appreciate Naruto's little game. He had no idea what may or may not anger each clone individually, up to and including looking at them. In his mind's eye, he could see Naruto dropping this against a real opponent and telling the clones to attack at will, or follow some pattern, or in order, or even whenever their foe turned their back. It was a tactic that could not be second guessed, because it made no sense, and the only one who could know the rules for certain was the real Naruto himself.

_I would kill to be able to make shadow clones like he does.  
_

Shikamaru looked around and found the Ringmaster wandering around casually. He waved the red jacket over and asked, "Can I ask them questions, or does that count as disturbing them?"

The ringmaster shrugged. "Yeah, sure, this is a contest, so go for it." When Shikamaru gave him he look, he grinned nastily and called out to the crowd, "Uzumaki update! Shikamaru can ask you questions, and it does not count as disturbing play. Got it?" The hundred clones all shouted in agreement.

Shikamaru immediately turned and walked over to the frisbee throwers, who paused to watch him. "Hey," he said casually, ready to dodge at a moment's notice in case the _update rule_ was a trick, "Would you find it amusing to show me your hidden weapon?" The two Naruto glanced at each other, grinned, and the one furthest from Shikamaru flipped the frisbee over to show the explosive tag on the underside.

"Thanks," said Shikamaru, backing away until they continued to play with each other. He then turned to the next set…

* * *

Over seven minutes, Shikamaru quickly determined that Naruto was either insane, ingenious, or most likely, both. Every clone had some sort of surprise waiting for him. The pawns from the chess board were actually cylinders of explosives, which would detonate when pressed and thrown. The kite was harmless, but the string the user held it by was ninja wire, shaved thin enough to cut. The jump ropes had explosive tags rolled on the handles. The pogo stick had a frankly terrifying spring loaded kunai launcher built into its guts.

He also saw the potato gun under construction. It took three clones to construct from the kit, had a five foot barrel, and as far as Shikamaru was concerned, when it exploded it would probably scythe down a third of the arena. That was a serious pressure vessel they had there, and the fact that it got inserted into the middle of the contraption did nothing to encourage its safety.

Each Naruto was quite cheerful and helpful when asked, commenting that the boss wanted to encourage Shikamaru's curiosity. The potato gun operators were quite enthused, until one almost hit the valve on the pressure container and sent Shikamaru scurrying away. The one with the pogo stick was even more ecstatic at the thought of taking his toy apart to show the inner workings, and when he couldn't get it back together again, he shrugged it off and decided to join the mahjong players.

It was then that Shikamaru spotted the real Naruto. He, too, was watching the mahjong players, but he was showing a great deal more interest in Shikamaru than the match. His eyes were constantly darting around, and whenever they met Shikamaru's, he would look away immediately. He was also careful to keep his hands concealed whenever a new clone was needed.

_Got you,_ thought Shikamaru, who casually walked up to the table, pausing only to let the trike pedaling Naruto pass him. He considered just trying to peg Naruto with a thrown kunai, but that would just lead to a normal battle, possibly including all these clones and their myriad death traps. "Excuse me," he said politely, "If I snatch away your observer, would that ruin your fun?"

The Narutos gathers around the board all shook their head, except for the real Naruto, who nodded vigorously and started to sweat. Shikamaru made his family hand seal and silently sent his shadow out. It lanced immediately to Naruto's shadow, and against his will, Naruto slowly stood and matched Shikamaru's pose. Shikamaru grinned as the trike's bell rang behind him, and he stepped forward slightly to get out of it's path. He reached up, miming the action of drawing a sword over his shoulder, and across from him, Naruto, who did have a sword, drew one as well.

"Give up, Naruto," said Shikamaru, raising his hand near his throat and watching Naruto raised his blade in the same pose, "I caught you."

He felt a chill go down his spine as two swords were draped almost casually around his neck from behind, and Naruto leaned in as if giving him a comradely hug. "Nahh," said Naruto quietly, "You didn't. Give up, Shikamaru, I doubt you can undo that technique fast enough to win."

Shikamaru looked around, weighing his options, then dropped his arms and released his technique. "Beaten by the dead last of my year," he grumbled, although he had no real rancor in his voice. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I'm never going to live this down," he said before raising his head and calling out clearly, "I yield, Proctor." The clones let out a loud cheer, pumping their fists in the air, before dispelling in a cloud of smoke.

Leaving only the Naruto that Shikamaru had caught with his shadow standing. The real Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, a big grin on his face, and said, "Whew, that was close, Shikamaru. If you hadn't disturbed that clone earlier…"

"That was a clone?" Shikamaru sighed and slumped slightly. "Which clone was it that got me? I thought I took care of all the ones I dis…" His words wound down slowly as the realization stole over him. _That damned tricycle rider! I interrupted him in his path and disturbed his playtime, but he never did anything!_

Naruto let out a giggle. "I watched him slowly trail you for the entire match, peddling madly the entire time, waiting for a good shot. I was kinda proud of the little guy, actually."

Shikamaru shrugged and gave Naruto a small smile. "It's okay, you did me a favor anyhow. Chunin would be too troublesome for me."

Naruto took Guy's traditional Nice Guy Pose #1 with Thumb Extended. "Don't worry, Shikamaru, when I become Hokage, I'll put you to good use! You can be in charge of mission selection, that's a nice and easy job! Believe it!" He didn't notice the scowl on Shikamaru's face, nor the grin on the Hokage's face, when he said that. His mind was far too occupied celebrating his victory.

Up on the walkways, there was a lot of murmuring and laughter going on, although Choji was grumbling bitterly when the food vanished, and Asuma was groaning while Kurenai explained that, according to the rules, he was going to be off his cigarettes for four months instead of three. A stunned Kakashi, who had just watched Naruto trick a Nara in a battle of wits, reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a thin ryo coin. He tossed it to Guy, who caught it without looking at it or letting the grin leave his face.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Confused about the coin? It's in Chapter 15: YOOOUUUTH!

I am fairly happy with this chapter, even if it took a long time to write. I had a lot of trouble with the trash fight, for exactly that reason, and it took a few tries to get the right balance of serious and silly for Naruto's fight. Naruto will have serious fights in the future, but here and now, in the exam arc against a friendly face, it was simply not the time.

No, Naruto here has not forgotten his dream. He just doesn't shout it every five minutes under the tutelage of someone who seems to be training him well, and with a team that accepts him.

Thank god, one more chapter, and I can finally break the rails and toss them away!

**Cute Kirby** mentioned perspective in writing, and how it can be used to examine the emotions of the characters. I quite agree, and felt bad for not following that general intent in Garaa v Zaku, but in the end, neither one seemed all that interesting, emotionally, so I settled for a more blow-by-blow retelling. I tried, at first, making one of Team Seven do the watching and commenting for that purpose, but when I tried to write it, it came out looking as fake as Donald Trump's hair looks.

**Death 276** mentioned mild disappointment about the Gaara fight. If it helps any, I agree fully, but I wanted to avoid the "sand falls, everyone dies" approach so often seen in fanfiction with the early version of him, so I did what I could. Glad to see you at least sorta enjoyed it. Hopefully you enjoy Shikamaru's fight as well, I know you're rooting for him.

**Draconic Ramblings**, and **so many others**, mentioned the bloody Ryo. Kishimoto is a writer and artist, and global economics is obviously not his thing. There are tons of materials online that deconstruct the value of Naruto ryo (my favorite is first choice if you google "Naruto Ryo Reddit," titled "Basic Economics in the Narutoverse"). Go read it, please. It is interesting, entertaining, and might actually get people to stop telling me about Ryo as if I don't know basic math, nevermind the actual value of real world ryo.

**Pinoy Gamer** pointed out a lot of improvement fics have Ino vs Temari. I was not aware of this, but from what I could find, they are correct. I suspect it's for the Worf Effect, allowing a previously almost useless person show their stuff. Remember, just because it's a Trope, does not mean it's bad.

**lumutness** mentioned the goggles/uchiha connection and how Kakashi might react before I posted it. Good job, oracle.

And as always, thanks to **Heaven's Eagle** for the beta work.


	30. The Final Match! Hinata's Fate!

Naruto climbed the last step to his teammates still beaming from his win. The moment he saw their grinning faces, he let out a whoop and raced towards them, getting a return whoop from Sakura and a quiet laugh from Sasuke and Kakashi.

He was shocked when Sakura picked him up bodily and gave him a hug. Sure, it was obviously a friend hug, not a _friend_ friend hug, but it felt good none the less, and he returned it cheerfully. When she set him back down, he found Sasuke standing there, fist out. "That was a good fight, dobe," he said, with a degree of sincerity that Naruto had never heard from the Uchiha.

He bumped fists with Sasuke, giving him an even wider grin. "Thanks, Teme." Sasuke's eyes sparkled with mirth at the cheerful and insolent insult. _Man, what a good day I'm having,_ he thought. _My team kicked butt, we're all heading for the finals, and I nailed Shikamaru so good in a fight. I'll be dreaming about the look on Shika's face when that clone had caught him unawares for months._

Naruto turned when he heard the sound of Akamaru barking loudly and looked at the board. His eyes lit up as he saw the names.

Inuzuka Kiba and Akimichi Choji.

Kiba was already on the floor, grinning and standing in his tough guy pose. The fluffy edged gray jacket did little to help his tough guy persona. Neither did Akamaru, his little puppy companion, who was flopped over his head like some sort of boneless puppy hat, yipping every few seconds and wagging his tail.

Choji did not look nearly as enthused. He had decided to take the stair, and even as he made his way to the center of the arena he continued to munch rapidly on a bag of potato chips. Compared to the muscular and strident Kiba, Choji looked like a chubby, dumpy little boy wearing his dad's oversized clothing, but the way he was eating had an almost rodent-like ferocity to it.

"Kiba's got this in the bag," said Sakura cheerfully as she leaned over the railing to watch. Behind her, Naruto gave Sasuke a cheesy grin and rubbed his forefinger and thumb together and nodded at Sakura. Sasuke got the message, and while he wasn't sure about the odds, Naruto of all people should be good at spotting long shot winners. Why not?

"If you're so sure about that," said Sasuke, leaning over to match Sakura's pose exactly, "Maybe you want to bet on it? I think Choji might have a chance."

Sakura looked at him, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What's the terms?"

Sasuke opened his mouth, then closed it. What the hell could they bet? Neither one of them was swimming in cash, and neither one of them was poor, so money had no special value. And as far as he knew, there was nothing he wanted from her, or her from him. In the end, he shrugged. "What terms do you want?"

She grinned with far too many teeth at that. "Ino would kill me if I used that opening to press for a date, and so would you, I think." Sasuke frowned, and she gave him a playful wink. "Instead, let's bet on what we both will want soon. Time."

"Time?" asked Naruto.

Sakura nodded. "We're all going to be training like crazy until the finals. We'll need all the time we can get. So until the finals, loser does the winner's housework. All the cleaning and shit we have to do to keep our homes operating reasonably. I win, and Sasuke does the household chores I am normally given by my parents. Sasuke wins, and I have to clean his house, or whatever it is he does with his home."

Sasuke only needed a moment to think about it, but it seemed like a good deal to him… if he won. He had a small apartment on the edge of the old Uchiha compound, a small thing that served as a place to eat and sleep when not training. He was fairly orderly, but not insanely so. If he won, she'd have some work to do, but not a particularly onerous amount, and he'd have that much more time to practice.

_If _he won. His eyes flickered slightly in Naruto's direction, and the boy shot him a discreet thumbs up.

"Deal," he said, settling down to watch while Sakura grinned like a bandit.

Down on the floor, Hayate had an arm out as he prepared to start the fight. He asked Kiba if the boy was ready, and he gave a lazy stretch. "Yeah, I guess if chubby here is ready to get his ass beat, I'm ready too."

Hayate looked at Choji and was about to speak, when he heard the voice of the orange genin, Naruto, calling out from the side. "Hey, Choji," he shouted cheerfully, "Did Kiba just call you fat?" A few feet away, Shikamaru ran a hand over his face, partially to hide a grin. He'd been trying to figure out how to gracefully get his friend worked up, but sometimes the most graceless of people can be effective too.

Hayate looked at Choji, slightly confused, just in time to see the bag of chips explode in the boy's hand as he made a fist. "Start the match," he said, his face going red. Hayate nodded and lifted his hand. "Begin!"

Kiba was ready to shout back at Naruto for putting words in his mouth, but he was suddenly too busy. Choji inflated into a perfectly spherical shape, his limbs and head hidden within, and began spinning. Kiba had seen this transformation before, but seeing it chasing down a enemy was quite different from seeing it from the front end. Kiba threw himself to the side, allowing Akamaru to jump away as well, and he heard the pavement crunching on the floor as Choji passed.

Kiba stood and dusted himself off, watching as Choji made a wide turn and raced back at him. This time, Kiba dodged in a more timely fashion, watching carefully as Choji tried and failed to veer in his direction. _Easy win,_ Kiba thought ferally.

"Fine! You wanna play ball!" He dropped to all fours, flooding his body with chakra and using it to force his nail to grow into sharp talons. "We're good at it!" He whistled, and Akamaru jumped over to join him, landing on his back and yipping. "Let's do it, Akamaru! Human Beast Clone!"

With a puff of smoke, Akamaru turned into an exact copy of Kiba, down to the feral claws on his hands. With matching snarls, both lunged into the attack. Choji chose one to focus on, rolling as fast as he could, but even as he did so, the other hit him from the side, sending the human ball bouncing and tumbling across the arena. One of the Kiba let out a howling laugh, then turned to the other and said, "Akamaru, fetch!"

The other clone nodded and chased after the clone, moving at an incredible speed for a genin, although not as fast as Lee could. He dashed past Choji, then turned and delivered another strike, sending the spinning back back to Kiba.

For almost a minute, Kiba and Kiba kept pounding on Choji, knocking him back and forth between them. With each hit, the ball would reorient at them, pushing to gain control, but with each hit, the two Kiba would change position and strike him on the side again.

Eventually, the real Kiba noticed that his companion across the way was starting to pant heavily. _Akamaru does not have nearly the chakra I do,_ he thought, _and I'd hate to disable him with a soldier pill just to win such an easy match._ He waited for Akamaru to kick Choji back, then shouted, "Let's wrap this up, buddy!" Akamaru jumped over to Kiba with a yip, and they both watched Choji finally gain control and roll, with a slightly wobbly path, right at them. "Let's go!" shouted Kiba, "Fang Passing Fang!" The two Kiba started spinning at a ferocious rate, forming two powerful whirlwinds of claws and strength. They both hit the rolling Choji dead on, sending all of their kinetic energy into the impact.

Choji flew away from them at incredible speed, and Kiba started to crow. Then he hit the arena wall, dead on, and the spinning orb of Choji's body _deformed_ briefly into a spinning ellipse under the pressure of the comparatively immobile object, the spin pulling him up the wall slightly on impact. Doing so angled the resulting crater upward as well, resulting in a very, very short barrel of wall aiming down directly at Kiba.

Then the compression forced on Choji's body by the impact, reversed by the impact with the wall, sent him sailing at Kiba at nearly the same speed as he'd left. Most of his spinning inertia had been killed with the wall impact, leaving him as just a large round projectile heavy enough to crush pavement moving at a speed it would not normally be able to move with even the hardest of effort.

He hit both Kiba, which, combined, had far less than half the mass of Choji, and almost no inertia at all. Both Kiba received the sudden dose of gifted kinetic energy with the time honored tradition of accelerating rapidly away. Unfortunately, with their much lower mass, that energy was more than sufficient to send them flying into the opposing wall with a tremendous thud.

It was sheer luck that Choji was aimed directly between them, thus hitting at an angle and sending them back at that same angle. It was also sheer luck that their combined masses did not variate Choji's own trajectory significantly. The happy result of this luck was that, despite being in no condition to move, they none the less avoided the impact of Choji hitting the wall and coming to a very sudden and very final stop.

After a few seconds of silence, Choji pulled himself out of the crater in the wall, his legs wobbling.

And up in the stands, Sasuke smirked at Sakura, who was glaring at him with surprising fury for such a small bet. "Sucker," he said, eliciting a laugh from Naruto.

* * *

Up in the stands, only three people did not smile or laugh or joke about the fight. All three were fully focused on the match announcing board.

Neji stared with bored disinterest. Between his own talents, and the techniques Kakashi had taught him, he knew he would be the victor. It was simply impossible for him to fail against the remaining foes. He would win. It was fated.

Hinata stared with nervous tension. She knew she was hardly the strongest shinobi there, and she also knew that Neji-ne… Neji was a possible opponent, and he might possibly be the strongest, although Hinata was beginning to wonder about that after seeing Naruto's team fight. And her other possible opponent was well experienced, even if he had not passed the exam before.

Kabuto stared at the board with a mask of anxiety plastered on his face as his mind raced. He had strict orders to follow, as his time in Konohagakure slowly ran to an end. Against Neji, under those constraints, he might end up losing in a fair fight if he limited himself. But how the hell could he possibly make his loss look good against the nervous little girl Hyuga?

Finally, the last match popped up, and Neji got an ugly look on his face as he snarled. Tenten looked at him nervously, having only rarely seen him express emotions. She hesitantly reached out and gave him a pat on the back. "It's ok, Neji, none of this counts until the finals."

He shrugged off her hand with an angry flick. "I don't want to get into the finals without a fight," he growled, his voice low. Then his anger faded, to be replaced by a cold, cruel smirk. "Still, at least I get the pleasure of watching my cousin fall to the weakest genin I have ever met, besides her."

"Last match," said Hayate, coughing into a balled fist. "Hyuga Hinata, Kabuto, please come down."

* * *

When Hinata saw the board light up with her name, she was almost ready to faint. She had been quite close as it was when she realized she might face Neji-ne… Neji-san on the arena floor, and the relief of not having that task before her kept her moving, even as she advanced down the aisle to take the stairs.

She saw Naruto ahead, talking rapidly with Sakura-san and Kakashi-sensei. Her heart pounded in her chest, her ears filled with the sound of her own blood rushing, and she did her best to keep moving forward and ignore everything but her next footstep.

Then Naruto saw her approaching and turned to face her fully, with a big cheerful grin on his face. She froze, terrified, as a single horrifying thought landed in her mind and flashed behind her eyes. _I am going to lose in front of Naruto-kun, and he'll never respect me._ She bit back the tears that threatened to escape and gave him a timid, shaky smile.

He stepped forward and held out a fist. "You kicked my ass so many times during training. I'm sure you're gonna kick his ass just as hard. If you have to, pretend he's one of my clones, and smack him around. You can do it, Hinata!" He still stood there, a little awkwardly, fist out and waiting for her to return the gesture.

Sakura leaned in and whispered something in Naruto's ear, and he suddenly brightened. "Hey, good idea, Sakura-chan! Hinata, fight as hard as you can, and when it's over, we'll go get some ramen, my treat! Win or lose, just do your best!"

_A date! With Naruto!_ For just a moment, her eyes lit up slightly… then dimmed again. _He wouldn't call it a date. Just him and the loser, hanging about._ She nodded timidly to acknowledge his offer and moved to pass by team seven. Naruto turned to follow her, slightly confused, his fist slowly dropping unacknowledged.

Kakashi leaned down and whispered in Naruto's ear, and in his rush to give his apparently bummed friend a boost, Naruto didn't even stop to think as he repeated, "Win, and we'll call it a date wait WHAT?" Naruto turned to glare at Kakashi, who nodded in Hinata's direction. Naruto turned and realized that Hinata had stopped moving completely, not even breathing. He looked at Kakashi again, and the man gave another nod in her direction while giving him what could only be called a death glare. Naruto was confused, so he shrugged to himself and followed Kakashi's lead. He'd done right by his sensei before, after all.

"Yeah," he said, trying his best to sound cheerful in spite of his confusion. "Yeah, we'll call it a date! So go kick his ass, Hinata-chan!" After a moment, without any sort of acknowledgement, she started to move again, her steps even more shaky. Naruto turned to Kakashi and quietly whispered, "Are you sure about this, Kakashi? She looks even more demoralized now!"

Kakashi smirked under his mask and gave his cute, stupid little genin a pat on the head. "Trust me."

* * *

Kabuto watched his foe approach and suppressed a sigh. The timid little thing was walking out, head down and index fingers pressing rapidly against one another. _Cute and all, but it does me no good if she passes out with a single blow._ His mind raced as he considered his options. He did have a few medicinal preparations he could try, but most of them would have harmful side effects, either physical or mental, and he was not supposed to cripple anyone here.

"Are you ready?" asked Hayate. Kabuto gave a distracted nod.

Hayate glanced at the girl, who gave a tiny nod.

"Begin."

And Kabuto suddenly felt much more enthused about his problem, because his opponent _ran_ to get at him.

He knew a lot about the famed juken martial arts practiced by the Hyuga. With a single touch, a proper juken strike could close down a chakra coil completely for a long period of time. Without chakra, most shinobi were unable to operate at all, never mind in combat. Juken could also be used to directly attack the organs in the target, bypassing skin and bone to directly slice into the chakra that infused the organs of every living thing, which could easily destroy those organs. Both of these were good cause for concern, now that his foe seemed motivated.

The girl lashed out at him viciously, bringing her arms around in long arcs and attacking him from various directions, trying to hit with even the lightest tap. He spun and dodged where he could, and where he could not, he deflected her hands carefully, making certain not to let her fingertips touch him. Juken was difficult to defend against for that very reason, and Kabuto found himself hard pressed to avoid every attack.

Then he raised his arm to deflect another strike, only for the girl to abandon the initial attack and drop to the floor, scything her leg at his own. _What the hell,_ he thought, _That's not a juken move!_ Kabuto jumped, easily avoiding the slightly awkward leg sweep… and felt like slapping himself in the face when the girl remained close to the ground and started trying to tap his legs while he was still in the air. With no ability to deflect or dodge in the middle of his jump, he did the only thing he could do and started shifting his legs randomly before each tap. She got in six fluid, rapid taps before he hit the ground.

When he landed, he threw himself away from her as hard as he could, rolling into a crouch well out of her reach and hissing in pain. He had managed to prevent her from striking his chakra coils, which would have taken his legs out completely, but halfway through her attack, she had noticed his defense and switched to the less precise organ damaging blows. They were not terribly effective on muscle tissue, but they did have an effect, and his legs burned horribly as he stood up from his crouch. He saw her, panting hard but arms up and ready, and favored her with a smile. "I guess I'll have to take you seriously, Hyuga-san," he said cheerfully.

A blue glow began to infuse his hands as he formed his chakra scalpels. They weren't nearly as precise as the juken, but they could cut flesh and bone, and would allow him to make the fight look less one sided for the observers.

This time he pressed the attack, charging forward with a much more direct and graceless style, barely any better than the academy form for little kids. She tried to parry his first attack, then swiftly pulled her arm back when he flexed his fingers and tried to tap her arm. After that near miss, she started fully evading instead, twisting and turning with every blow he tried to strike. In this, her tiny little girl body aided her immensely, as did her own natural agility. But no defense is perfect, and Kabuto finally spotted an opening.

He lunged, plunging his fingers from above into her shoulder. He could have simply cut the muscles without any outward sign of injury, but he wanted to make an impression, so he cut through the skin as well. His fingers went deep, breaking her clavicle and almost severing her supraspinatus. Then his hand stopped, both by the remains of her broken shoulder, and by the small hand wrapped around his wrist.

The girl looked up at him, even as she grimaced in pain and clamped down harder on his arm, using the leverage of her grip to push his hand hard against her injury to trap it. Then she smiled, and quietly said, "You are in range of my divination."

Kabuto fought back a smile of his own. _Perfect._

Then pain happened.

* * *

The Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms maneuver, a core technique of the Main Branch juken of the Hyuga family, was designed to knock an opponent back, keeping them off balance as the juken user systematically closed the major chakra coils of their opponent. Unfortunately, the technique also required two hands and an opponent that is not being held in place. Hinata could never complete the entire form as she and her foe were positioned.

So she settled for shutting down only the half of Kabuto's body she could easily reach instead.

She released his hand with the final blow, shoving him back as hard as she could. Normally, between his greater mass and her own high agility, low strength build, it would have done little, but with Kabuto's entire left side immobilized, he stumbled and fell into a graceless roll. Then the elation she felt over her seeming success fell apart as her shoulder screamed in pain. She grabbed her arm and sank to the floor, fighting the urge to scream.

She heard her opponent start to chuckle and lifted her head enough to see that he was managing to pull himself up carefully. "You got me good," he said, taking a single wobbling step before slumping to the ground. With a grunt, he began the process again. "But… I lost one side, and you lost the other." He fell over again, and started to crawl slowly towards her. "In a trade of one for one, I think I'll win. I'm more used to the pain, little girl."

Hinata's eyes started to water, and she leaned over, holding her throbbing arm. It seared with a sort of icy heat, a pain so extreme it passed through pain itself and became something more, some non-pain that hurt more in her heart than her body. She slumped to the ground, then struggled to sit back up against the overwhelming suffering.

"He's half down and crawling, Hinata-chan! Finish him off!"

She could hear Naruto shouting at her, although it felt like he was across a vast canyon from her, distant and invisible. _But still watching._ _He's watching. _She rolled onto her back with a pained grunt. _He's cheering._ She sat up, sending new shards of non-pain through her shoulder as her back muscles pulled at it. _He wants me to win!_ She wedged one foot under herself, and leaning forward, managed to get into a crouch, then straightened.

Across from her, Kabuto was also crouched, his one arm dangling, the other arm sheathed in blue. He was smiling, but sweat was dripping down his face. "All I have to do is cripple your other arm, and I'll win. If it comes to it, I have the strength the kick you unconscious with one leg alone."

Hinata took a deep breath and prepared herself. _It'll be worth it,_ she told herself. She then moved back into her normal stance, with one arm hanging limp. "That… would be true," she panted through the pain. "But I still have two arms." She reached over with her good arm and pulled the damaged one up until her undamaged muscles elsewhere in her shoulder could take over the movement. The agony made light flash in front of her eyes. Her shoulder became a ball of suffering as her broken bones were ground together, and as the last of her supraspinatus snapped. But slowly, surely, her arm rose, even if it did tremble as it did so. _The movement is limited,_ she thought to herself as she grit her teeth to keep herself from yelling, _because if my arm goes too down or back, I will need to lift it with the other arm again._ The only advantage she had in this case was that she could still channel chakra, and thus, a touch from her damaged arm could still hurt her foe.

Kabuto looked up at her, panting, his face disbelieving. Then he smiled, and Hinata felt for a moment that smile was a little too cheerful for someone in his condition. He let his dead leg sag and rolled onto his back. "I give up. She obviously wants the win more than I do right now, thank you." He let out a bitter laugh that sounded a little forced to Hinata, then a cough. "Maybe next year."

Hinata managed to hear Naruto's whoop before she fell to the ground.

* * *

"There will be a one month break," said Hayate, as those who had passed and were able to move stood before him, "Between here and the final round. In this time, you will have an opportunity to heal and train to prepare yourself. Your matches will be decided now, before you leave." The board behind them began to flicker as it displayed the matches.

Sakura and Tenten grinned at each other as their names showed up.

Sasuke smirked at Kankuro, who gave him a stiff nod.

Gaara did not react, which did little to calm Misumi's nerves.

Naruto gave a thumbs up to Choji, who smiled back.

And Neji smiled grimly when Hinata's name showed next to his own.

"I can't wait to see you all next month," said the Hokage. "You're dismissed."

* * *

As soon as he got home, Neji went to his room and laid down in his bed. While he had not needed to fight in the preliminaries, the week before had been long and uncomfortable, and all he wanted was some rest. It was for that reason that he was deeply unamused when Hatake Kakashi opened his window and climbed in. "You shouldn't walk in uninvited," Neji said without preamble. "Especially not into a clan's holding. Does anyone even know you are here?"

Kakashi waved off Neji's objection as if it was irrelevant. "Your cousin will be in the hospital for a few days while the medics heal the broken bone," he said.

"Good," said Neji, without inflection.

"Your uncle is there too, of course."

"Good," Neji repeated, although this time he could not stop a little rancor from coloring his tone.

"Maybe you should talk to them."

"Maybe you should go read your book." Neji turned away from the window. He heard Kakashi sigh, then a rustle of cloth as he slipped into the room and quietly took a seat at Neji's writing desk. "I meant somewhere else," he grumbled. He looked at Kakashi, who was sitting in the chair, slumped over to get his face near Neji's.

"Neji, recall for me the options we discussed regarding your… clipped wings." He said this in a near whisper.

Neji sighed and closed his eyes, trying to remember their quiet conversations when Kakashi was training him. "Assassinate the seal masters. Assassinate the clan head. Foment rebellion. Petition Hokage for manumission and see if Jiraiya can help. Challenge Hiashi to a battle for my freedom. Hold the clan head and his heirs hostage."

"And you're missing none from the list? None of the options we discussed?"

Neji frowned, and re-examined the list in his head. After a moment, he grunted a negative.

"This is why you will never succeed."

Neji sat up quickly and glared at Kakashi, who stared back at him with the same mask of apathy he gave everyone. That apathy did nothing to calm Neji. If anything, it inflamed him. "Fine," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Tell me, oh wise one, what did I miss?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Political support."

Neji rolled his eyes.

"Really. You act like the main branch loves having you under the yolk. You treat them like they are a nameless mass, just one big foe to wrestle with and defeat. You treat them like faceless peons. Just like you feel they treat you. Surely you see the irony in that thought?"

Neji crossed his arms and only glared harder. Kakashi shrugged, then smoothly stood up and made for the window. "If I were you," he said as he stick one leg out, "I would go talk to them, and figure out how they feel. It might very well be that they're on your side, in which case you gain allies. And if not, well, you'll know to plan around them instead." Kakashi jumped away, leaving Neji glowering at his empty room.

* * *

"Neji-san? W-why are you here?"

Neji walked over to one of the chairs next to Hinata's bed and sat, glaring down at her, if only to keep from glaring at her father, his uncle, the one who ordered his father's death… He took a deep breath, and let his face settle into a stern look. "You are aware we are matched against one another in the finals?"

Hinata nodded.

"I want to know if you will use my seal against me when I crush you."

He stared hard at Hinata, watching her face carefully. He expected a sudden hot denial from her, or a sheepish stuttering mess that told him nothing. He did not expect her to look him in the eye and say "No," with a touch of horror in her voice.

He activated his byakugan to focus that much harder on her. "Why not?" he said in the same imperious tone.

"It would be wrong."

"Wrong to win in such a low way?"

Hinata shook her head, and a tear rolled down her face. "W-wrong to use it at all."

Hiashi looked at Neji, his face as carefully schooled as always. "Why do you believe this of us, Neji? Why do you think we are seeking an excuse to use the Caged Bird Seal against you?"

Neji could not keep the bitterness from his voice, nor the hate from his face, as he turned to Hiashi. "You've done it before," he said.

Hiashi sighed and hung his head, and for a moment, his mask of Hyuga decorum and calm fell. Neji expected an angry, bitter face, but all he saw was a tired old man. "Neji," he said heavily, "I understand your burden. I understand your anger. Yes, I did use the Cursed Seal on you. Once. As was required by me. This does not mean I enjoy it. It does not mean I want it. I am forced by my place to follow the traditions of our clan, regardless of my own desires." He frowned and looked at Neji, and the boy was struck by the weight behind his uncle's gaze. "In your words, it is my fate, and one that is not particularly kind, I think."

"Don't speak to me about fate," said Neji coldly. "Those fated to live through the murder of another have no right to speak of fate as if it is something to be suffered."

Hiashi sighed deeply. "This is about your father, is it not, Neji?"

"Always. I will never forget."

Hiashi reached into his robe and pulled out a small scroll. The scroll was old and worn, the edges run ragged by constant handling. Hiashi looked down at it, his hands clenching it tight. "I don't know why, but I was never able to give this to you. Even now, a part of me wants me to hold onto it still. It's the last testament of my brother, the last thing he did before he died, and I never wanted to let it go." He smiled at the scroll, a grim little smile. "In a way, my own greed for his last words may have cost his son his future."

Hiashi stood and placed the scroll on Hinata's bed, then turned his chair to face them both as Neji started to read it. The boy's face flickered as he did so, his eyes barely moving, his face twitching as he struggled between bewilderment, anger, and sadness. Finally, he set down the scroll and turned to his uncle, with a strange light in his eye. "Tell me the story," he said simply.

* * *

Neji stood, his mind jumbled. He looked at Hiashi, kneeling with his head pressed to the floor, begging forgiveness for something he wasn't even responsible for. He gave his uncle a short bow, at a loss as to what else to do, and began to walk towards the door.

"Wait, Neji-san."

Neji stopped and turned to look at Hinata. Her eyes were red, and her hospital gown was dotted with her tears. Neji felt touched that she cared enough to cry when even he could not.

"The Cursed Seal ends with me," she said, quietly but firmly, her fingers wadding up her blanket. "I cannot, and will not, abide by it. I will not have my sister branded for no reason but that she is younger than me. I will not have your children branded because of the misfortune of their birth. And I will not have anyone branded with the excuse of sealing away their byakugan in death while main house members operate freely as shinobi, exposed to the same dangers and yet expected to somehow be immune to misfortune." She said all this in an even tone, as if her words were to be engraved and posted in great metal sheets over every home in the clan, and Neji was astounded that his weak, stuttering cousin could even manage the words, never mind the tone of certainty.

She turned to her father, who had lifted his head, but remained kneeling. "I must train for the finals," she said, her voice a careful monotone, as if reading from a script. "We know I have not succeeded in the past under your guidance. I shall need a new teacher. One that is strong, and has proven their worth." She spared a glance at Neji, as did Hiashi. "Unfortunately, my trainer must know enough to train me. So he, too, must be trained."

Hiashi looked thoughtful for a moment, his eyes unfocused, then he gave a short, thin smile and stood. His own voice took the same singular tone as he said, "Not knowing who you may choose to teach you, I none the less feel that it is wise to accept any choice you make on those terms, to ensure your continued growth and safety as heir. I make an oath that I shall train someone who is strong enough to then teach you, when you find them. Have you found such a teacher yet?"

"Hyuga Neji, son of Hyuga Hizashi."

"I am shocked and appalled." Hiashi's voice did not change from his monotone, but his eyes crinkled slightly as he held back a smile. "However, as a man of my word, I cannot refuse an oath." He turned to Neji and gave a short bow. "Hyuga Neji, you have been appointed my daughter's personal trainer. To ensure the success of your duties, I will be personally training you in the Main Branch form of the jukin. Report tomorrow at dawn to begin your future duties."

Neji narrowed his eyes. "Can you even do this?" he asked skeptically.

"Do what?" asked Hisashi in the same dull tone. "I have made an oath before three witnesses. I would never abandon my honor or oath, as all Hyuga know. My daughter is obviously much smarter than I give her credit for, shame on me for letting her fool me. Still, at least she has a good grasp of political bargaining."

"Three?" Neji turned and did a very undignified jump when he saw Kakashi sitting on a chair in the corner, face still in his book.

"Yo," he said casually in greeting, before flipping a page and giggling.

"This will change nothing," said Neji with a frown.

"This will change everything," said Hiashi, standing from the floor, returning to his normal voice. "In my time there was never a powerful example of the equal strength of the Branch house to show the elders. Already, others think of you as a prodigy, in both houses. In due time, with your example as a visual aid for those who might oppose her, Hinata may very well be able to change our people." He gave a short bow to Neji, a formal one, and then rose. "Will you accept this new duty, Neji, son of Hizashi?"

Neji paused to look at Hinata, who was beaming at him, then to Kakashi, who gave him a thumbs up without looking. Finally, he turned and gave a short bow to Hiashi, lower than the one he had been given, as befit his status.

"Yes, Hiashi-sensei."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I'll go into detail on training arrangements and a few other things next chapter. From there, I'll be spending a chapter each on the members of team seven, possibly an additional chapter covering others. And somewhere in there will be the Omake I thought of a month ago that I've been sitting on all this time because of timing. It'll be a thing of beauty…

And then, we'll hit the finals. Ohhh, I can't wait for that. That "wow" feeling you got from Sakura's fight? You'll feel it again somewhere in the finals, I am certain. It might be different places for different people, but you will be surprised and/or pleased at some point.

Let's face it, Kiba WOULD be the sort to "Shout his Attacks." At least in a semi-friendly contest. I could not imagine a fight for Kiba or Choji that would not end in a farce for at least one of them, so I ran with it. And yes, it was cartoon physics. So is walking up a tree while perfectly horizontal. Just roll with it, no pun intended in this case.

I feel slightly bad that I imagined "Beautiful Green Wild Beast" (The music playing during Lee vs Gaara, and one I think of whenever I think of a character handing out a beatdown) running in my head when I was rereading Hinata v Kabuto for editing purposes. I feel slightly good that it fit, even if he did let her win. So why did I title this chapter "Hinata's Fate?" Because I wanted to torture you with the idea that I finally slipped and allowed myself to do the least original option. Seeing her real fight must have felt great after that. You're welcome.

For you shippers out there, don't get your hopes up. They are 12. If you've never seen a 12 year old date, be prepared to be disappointed, because I have, and it is hardly romantic.

In the end, I am fairly content with this chapter. I reached important points (breaking Hinata's massive anxiety, and Neji's uninformed anger) without casually saying "whatever" and throwing those traits away on a whim (And don't think Neji is all mellow just yet, either). I felt I handled things appropriately for how I have bent the cast, but I value your opinion on the matter. And I did gloss over what happened to Neji's dad. I am assuming, if you are reading this, you already know.

All that said, I find myself deeply enthused, because at this point, I have a combined favorite/follow of over one thousand, which is ten times what I expected when I started this fic. Large volume of competition, as it were. Thanks to my experiences here, I am helping someone edit what will eventually be an e-book (pro-bono, because frankly, I'm not THAT good,) as well as kicking around an idea for a publishable novel to write. This had done a great deal for my writing self esteem, and I thank you for that.

Fanfic Rec: if you have not caught it (I assume most of you have seen it, but just in case,) **I am NOT Going Through Puberty Again** by **EvilFuzzy9** is hilarious crackfic time travel bullshit that takes nothing, not even itself, seriously, and I highly recommend it. It is also still updating, and the last few chapters changed focus to a new and humorous direction.

Thanks to **Heaven's Eagle** for the beta, as always. She also gets at least some credit for Kabuto v Hinata. I was unsure how to make that fight work initially, so I figured I would go Neji v Hinata and play up the "fate" angle of it, but she commented on Kabuto's fighting style, and this idea cropped up. Both would have worked, but this was more original, so it got the upvote.

, I am PROUD I woke your girlfriend and dog up indirectly with your giggle. Proud, I say! And as for sending Sasuke to Orochimaru, wait for it. It's gonna be great when I get to that point in the timeline.

**Cute Kirby** felt that Temari's dishonorable attack was a little OOC. While I kindof agree, in rewatching/rereading Naruto, I felt that in the Chunin arc she is a bit of a hot tempered bitch, and this time around, she has a reason to care about the outcome of her test… you'll see. But yes, if that had come up after the end of the Chunin arc, it would have been grossly out of character.

**Pentecost **thought Naruto was showing off. I highly agree, and I felt it was in character.

**serialkiller **simply said, "That was fucking amazeballs!" Good sir/madam/other, should I decided to post a few sample reviews in the first chapter to make myself sound even more pretentious, rest assured, I shall be including yours.

**Death276** mentioned mild disappointment that Temari held back. To be honest, I felt even if she did not, the fight would fare little better. Early in Naruto, until she pulled out the summons, her attacks consist of wind, more wind, lotsa wind, and hit it with a fan. I don't even know if she carried anything other than her fan, I don't recall an equipment pouch on her outfit. In such an enclosed space, more wind would not do much more to disperse that smoke any faster, so I felt there was nowhere to go but to the wrapup. They also asked about some points from her fan being destroyed, which I cannot answer because shhh, spoilers. All that being said, I am glad one of the most strident Shikamaru supporters I have talked to yet was happy with his match.

**euroteres** spotted the trike clone thing, then forgot about it until it hit. Full points none the less.

**HE-SpecOps** and **JustKy **mentioned that Naruto's tactic last chapter seemed specially made for Shikamaru. That's not as intended. The additional rules were, but it's a viable technique in a story where army killer jutsu will be rare and costly to use. In canon, of course, anyone post-shippuden would simply wave a hand and blast them (and a area the size of a city block) away. Just wait. it'll be back.

An Anon under the label **"Human"** pointed out a few details on the supraspinatus and how it interacts with the arm and shoulder. As I am not a medical or anatomical expert, I appreciate that they helped correct me, and I have now edited the details to fit.


	31. The Teachers Arrive! Train Us!

Naruto did not _walk _out of the Forest of Death and into Konoha proper with his team. He _strutted_, head held high. From time to time, he'd pause to flex at the occasional passing shinobi, and much to his surprise and amusement, several of them laughed and returned the pose, or just gave him a high five. He still got the occasional glare from civilian passerby, and more than a few of those who did not cheer him on looked at him like he was mad, but it was worth it.

Sakura made no effort to pretend the situation wasn't funny. She laughed along, and more than a few times, those who chose to flex back at Naruto would turn to her and do the same, which she returned with a cheerful smile and good graces. Many of the passing shinobi, those not drawn into Naruto's antics, gave her a respectful nod as they passed by, or a thumbs up. Shinobi gossiped like an old wives' club when matters were not classified, and Sakura was delighted to find out from one of them that the tape of her match was already starting to spread. She was even more delighted when she heard that Iruka was planning on showing his copy to every graduating class as an example of "seeing underneath the underneath."

Sasuke smiled easily during this walk. He did not need the approval or support of passerby… but he also did not feel the urge to take that good will from his teammates. The dead last and one of the most useless fangirls from the academy had both made it into the finals, right alongside of him, and he felt more than a little pride in their shared accomplishment. The respectful nods he got from the more serious shinobi and civilians were certainly pleasant enough.

Naruto was leading them all in a completely unsubtle manner towards Ichiraku Ramen, already thinking about his upcoming month of training (and ramen), when he heard a whistle behind him. He and the others turned to look at Kakashi, standing behind them with a cheerful and yet solemn air "You three have done incredibly during this exam," he said, his one eye looking at each of them in turn. "The last time three rookie genin from the same squad made it to the finals of their first exam was the when the Sannin took their test. In the end, all three were promoted, and at this rate, I suspect you three will be too, and this time without a war to justify it. To know I even had a part in such a group is humbling."

"You had a big part in it, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura, beaming. Without Kakashi's efforts in training them with other genin, who knows what sort of kunoichi she would have become. She had needed the kick in the pants she got from tussling with Kiba, and she doubted she would have gotten it from her teammates. She would have cheered Sasuke on as he crushed her, and rejected Naruto every time he tried to help, she was sure. She idly reached up to her shoulder to scratch at Kieri's chest and thanked whatever guided their lives that things had worked out the way they had.

"Without you, this team would not be as strong… and neither would I," said Sasuke with a slightly brittle smile. Each day was a painful reminder for Sasuke, not of what he needed to do, but what he'd almost done. Before his team, his _friends_, he was always alone, even in a crowd of fellow students. He had been so focused, so dedicated to his revenge, that he had no thoughts to spare beyond it. Kakashi had caused him to consider the possibility that he was making a mistake in trying to remain alone against the world. He had also made Sasuke think about what might happen after he killed his brother. If Sasuke had stayed on his lonesome course, he might have gotten his revenge… and returned to an empty home to live an empty life, if he didn't decided that his task was over and seek to join his family. Now? Now he'd have his revenge in due time, and when it was over, he would _live._ The Uchiha would return some day.

"Yeah, reading that pervy book while we trained must have been hard," said Naruto, who grinned until Sakura gave him a smack in the back of the head. He rubbed his neck sheepishly and gave a more restrained smile. "Really, Kakashi-sensei, you helped a lot."

Kakashi had changed his life. The blond was the first to admit he was not as smart as many of his classmates, including Sakura, and maybe, on a generous day, maybe even Sasuke. Kakashi hadn't accepted that from him. Kakashi had poked, and prodded, and encouraged, anything it took to find what worked, and when he found someone who could make Naruto stronger, he sent Naruto off to train without hesitation, even if it was his youthful rival. Kakashi could have let Naruto coast along like most of his academy teachers had, but instead he taught, and when when Naruto didn't get it, he tried a different angle, until eventually, even Naruto understood.

Kakashi gave a giggle and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Mahh, mahh, you're too kind, you three. Too bad I'm not training you this month." He froze under the sudden glares from his students, and raised his hands defensively. "It wouldn't be fair to you three if I trained all of you a third of the time, or one of you the entire time!" He backed up as the three started advancing towards with a slow and menacing strength to their step. Even Naruto had stopped focusing on his next meal and was cracking his knuckles. "Besides," he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible, "All three of you have had volunteers to train you for the finals!"

That drew a pause, and the three genin stopped advancing and settled for staring at him.

"I had three people approach me, separately, in the time it took for me to get here. All three offered to train one of you, and all three were good matches for the one they asked for. I didn't want to play favorites, so I figured I'd let you train with someone more suited to your individual strengths. They should be coming to get you some time in the next day or so, so try not to wander too far off the beaten path, okay?" When they nodded in acknowledgement, he gave them each a pat on the head, even going through the trouble of actually landing that pat on Sasuke's head as the boy dodged, then vanished with a swirl of leaves and smoke.

"Right," said Naruto, draping an arm across Sakura's shoulders, then removing it when she cracked her knuckles. "How about some ramen? We'll probably be super busy, so we won't get to meet up much." Sasuke and Sakura both shrugged and grumbled. Ichiraku Ramen was good, but not all day every day good for them. Naruto grinned and pulled out his small frog-shaped wallet. He popped open its clasped mouth and wiggled it back and forth as if it was talking. "How about I pay for it," he said in a high falsetto, "I've become so fat from all the money I've been able to save. Help me lose some weight?"

Sakura chuckled, but Sasuke happened to glance into the frog wallet's mouth. His eyes widened, and he took a step back. "Tell me that thing's not filled with explosive notes," he said in horror.

"Not full of them. Just some extras."

"I saw the roll, Naruto!"

Naruto laughed, although the laugh had a brittle edge to it. "Hey, you saw my fight in the arena, right? Who on earth keeps all of their surprises in one easy-to-steal scroll?" He looked down at the wallet, and his smile took on a frightful intensity.

Sakura gave Sasuke a light punch on the arm. "Come on," she said, "I'm sure he knows how to not set off an explosive tag. Let's get a meal together." Sasuke have a deep sigh, then stopped and looked up the road a little. When he didn't speak, his teammates turned and looked as well. "I think I'll have to pass on that, Sakura, Naruto. My trainer just showed up."

Standing just a few feet away was a man, standing with his arms crossed. He wore a dark grey body suit with a high collar, covered with a long hooded jacket in a brilliant white. A large gourd was strapped to his back, but he carried it without the slightest hunch, just as Gaara had. A pair of sunglasses, pressed close to his face, concealed his eyes and gave him an ominous appearance.

Aburame Shibi, Shino's father and the pride of the Aburame clan, nodded once to Sasuke and turned to walk away. Sasuke waved to his teammates, then followed, lengthening his strides to catch up to the taller man.

Naruto turned to Sakura, hoping to turn their team meal into a date, but Kieri suddenly gave a loud meow and butted heads with Sakura, who frowned. "Damn," she said, rubbing Kieri's head hurriedly, "I forgot, I tossed Kieri's food before the test, in case it went bad. I need to stop by Dan's place and restock." She noticed Naruto's look of defeat and gave him a smile. "Maybe we can meet up the day before, for a completely not-a-date meal?"

Naruto moped a little, but eventually, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, his grin returned. "Yeah, yeah, not a date. This time." Sakura swatted him gently, then waved as she ran up the nearest wall to cross the town. Naruto waved goodbye in return, and with at least some good cheer still remaining, he turned and entered the Ichiraku Ramen stand.

Teuchi and Ayame were behind the counter, but for once, their faces did not light up on Naruto's arrival. They were both far too focused on their other guest, Teuchi with anger and Ayame with disgust. Their only other customer was tall man, well into the middle of his life, with a thick and unkempt mane of snow white hair flowing down almost to the floor. The man wore a Konoha forehead protector, but it was oddly built, with a much wider band of metal and two miniature horns pointing out of it. His otherwise sensible dull green clothing was hampered by the long red vest he wore over it. He looked like a joke shinobi, and like many real shinobi, Naruto did not care to be represented as a joke.

The worst part, though, was the leer on the man's face. He was looking at Ayame like… well, like Naruto looked at ramen, and some inner core of Naruto rebelled at the idea of looking at his big sister figure in such a way. "So," the man said, leaning forward and resting his head in both of his hands in a manner that was both casual looking and forced, "How does that sound? I could even get a part for you in my next book. A starring role, even." His eyebrows did a little dance, and when the old man began to make a kissing face, Naruto finally snapped. He put on a cheerful grin and walked up.

"Excuse me, mister! Can you help me with something?"

The man looked down at Naruto, and there was a slight moment, a flash of something Naruto could not identify, before the old man's face fell into a contemptible sneer. "Go away, kid, you're messing up my patter," he mumbled.

Naruto held up his frog wallet. "Can you look at Gama-chan for me? His insides are broke, and maybe you can fix them? Pwease?" Naruto mentally gagged to himself as he said the last in a childish lisp, but his grin never faltered. He saw the same something pass through the man's visage, as if he was trying to hold down some sort of reflexive reaction, before he sighed and took the wallet.

"I'm great with kids you know," he said, pausing to leer at Ayame again. He then popped open Gama-chan's mouth. He chuckled a little at the wad of bills in it as he hefted it in his hand a few times. There was a lot of money in there, months of saving after Kakashi had helped Naruto with his money problems... and a few other surprises as well.

Naruto knew the exact moment when the old man spotted the roll of explosive tags. His chuckle froze, and his eyes flicked up to Naruto… who had placed his hands in the snake seal as soon as the old man looked at Ayame. _Can't blow up my ramen stand, but he doesn't know that,_ thought Naruto smugly. _Let's see you handle that!_

Then the old man grinned.

* * *

Naruto looked up at the small, Gama-chan sized hole in the ceiling, his mouth agape. A few random bills could be seen floating on a breeze, following the arc his wallet had made as it sailed into the sunset. "Aww… that had my rent in it," he said with a disgusted sigh.

He turned to the old man, who was looking at the hole with a smile of amusement and satisfaction across his face. "Wow," he said with an easy smile, "that thing must have been heavy, to fly that far. I think it cleared the village walls."

Naruto let out a frustrated grumble and ran a hand through his hair. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, his voice slightly petulant. "You, who are pissing off my favorite people? You who threw my wallet out of the city?" He moaned and thumped his head on the counter top. "And why are you dressed like a joke shinobi?"

"Joke?"

Naruto looked up from the counter to see the odd old man crouching on one of the stools, looking for all the world like a giant, ugly toad.

"Joke!"

The man stood up on the barstool, one foot on the stool, one on the bar itself, where he took a dramatic pose, carefully ignoring Teuchi's efforts to smash his foot with a small wooden mallet. "Do you not know who you are talking to, kid?"

Naruto shook his head.

The old man began to hop on the one leg on the barstool, his other leg raised for balance, one arm thrust forward dramatically. As he did this, the stool slowly began to rotate, spinning him in a slow circle as he did his dance. "Open your eyes and get an eyeful! From north to east, from south to west! Women want me, men want to be me, and everyone fears me! For I am Jiraiya the Great Toad Hermit!" The spinning barstool stopped as Jiraiya came around to face Naruto, a wild and cheerful grin on his face.

Then Ayame hit him with the biggest frying pan she had been able to find.

* * *

Sasuke stopped when they reached the central pillar in the Aburame clan compound. They had stopped by the shared project room in the central hall, where Shino had wordlessly joined them. Sasuke had removed his usual equipment when instructed, storing it in one of the lockers he and Shino had installed to keep the more dangerous materials safely. The two Aburame had then nodded to him and immediately walked out of the room to the central pillar, where Sasuke stopped.

"I am not permitted," Sasuke said, giving a polite bow. The Aburame had been quite clear on the matter in the past, and Sasuke had no desire to aggravate his trainer before they even begun. Shibi returned the bow.

"You are permitted to enter, with escort. Why? Because the best way to train you is within our family hive, and we would not train you if we thought you were unworthy." He straightened, and without another word, he and Shino both entered the enclosed stairwell. Without hesitation, Sasuke entered.

The stairwell wound down, spiraling around the outer wall of the shaft and leaving a large empty space in the center. There was little light, and as they started to walk into the depths, Sasuke saw Shino and his father pocket their sunglasses. The stairs were rock slabs, individually built out of the walls, and each one was remarkably thin. He looked upward, and saw that those stairs continued up past the entrance, all the way up until the very top, which had some oddly patterned stonework supported by several thick stone supports. It took a few moments, but Sasuke eventually recognized the pattern as that of the central square of the miniature village above.

_The entire square._ Sasuke immediately realized the intent of the structure, and approved. Living underground, immediate access to the surface in an emergency might be a problem. They had built a large central shaft, then capped it with a plug of stone that could be collapsed with little effort. The thin stairs would snap easily under the weight of the falling stone, creating a wide and clear corridor to the surface that any shinobi could climb. _In a real emergency, if they needed all hands to the surface, blowing that cap down would surprise any foes, during which the Aburame and their insects could swarm out and envelope them. Impressive. Practical. Very Aburame._

The stairs ended well before the shaft did, at a hole dug into the stone and wide enough for several people to stand. The hole was roughly dug, but had been worn smooth by the passage of time and people. Two Aburame stood at attention just inside the hole, and when Sasuke approached, he could hear their internal hives humming in agitation. But the guards simply nodded to him, and he continued to follow his guides.

It took some time to get used to how the Aburame built their home system, carved as it was out of the surrounding rock. Aside from places where gravity was required, there seemed to be no adherence to it. Passages would split up or down as often as side to side, and those who he saw stood at whatever orientation they happened to come out at. Several times, he saw a few clan members pause and talk, both craning their heads "up" to see the other person. Sasuke wondered how younger children handled traversing their homes, until he saw a pack of them scurrying by using small handholds carved into the walls and ceilings and floors.

A few shops and stores were found at this level, almost exclusively catering to shinobi needs, but for the most part, every doorway and window he saw, regardless of orientation, looked into a home of some sort. Those that were not level seemed to curve on the inside until they were, but some rooms even had furniture set up to hold occupants against gravity. In one particular case, he had walked over a window and looked down to see an older female laying in a reclining chair, carefully bolted to the floor by its back so she could sit without using chakra. She had waved at him in a friendly enough manner, and caught off guard, he waved back before moving on.

Eventually, they reached the end of their trip, arriving at a very elaborate and hefty metal door. It had several clear windows built into it, and through it, he could see another identical door on the other side, beyond which was bright light and several Aburame working at desks on paperwork. Shibi nodded to one side, to a less elaborate door, and Sasuke entered to find a round table with half a dozen chairs within. Shibi and Shino waved at a chair, and Sasuke sat.

To his surprise, they both started to remove their coats, something he had never seen before. In the dim light, he could make out very little, but he could clearly see the small holes in their arms where their insects could enter and leave their bodies. They sat, and while neither one smiled, both looked oddly at ease, even with the unaccustomed loss of their jackets.

"All you have seen here is a clan secret," said Shibi without preamble or small talk, in a monotone almost identical to Shino's. "While these secrets are neither dangerous nor deeply important, we, the Aburame clan, ask that you keep them to yourself. Nobody, not even the Hokage, has the right to demand this knowledge from you."

Sasuke nodded without hesitation. Without any idea what was within this hive like structure, any invader would find it almost impossible to work effectively when they made their move, and would be ripe for ambush. Giving away anything on the way this place was built could very well compromise that advantage.

Shibi nodded back. "We, the Aburame clan, have had a meeting to discuss this possibility. It was agreed, in mere hours, to offer it to you. Why? Because you are almost singular amongst Konoha shinobi in your respect and understanding of our allies, and we have a need for your assistance. This will be exchanged for training and acceptance as an honorary member of the Aburame hive, if you agree."

"What do you need, Aburame-sama?" asked Sasuke.

Shino was the one to speak next, leaning forward slightly as he did so. "We host our kikaichu in our bodies, almost from birth. Our hives grow with us, just as any other part of us. This is excellent for our clan jutsu, but it also has a penalty, in that almost all Aburame have a hive. This means that we have few people without a hive with which to test the results of our breeding experiments. Generally, we only get people who marry into the clan, or willingly join for other reasons, and both such are quite uncommon for our unconventional hive.

Inserting a new hive into a host with an old one can be dangerous. Between interbreeding and possible biological incompatibility, the old hive can easily become corrupted or destroyed, which has a disastrous effect on a full fledged Aburame." Shino frowned slightly. "It would be like losing your eyes, the complete removal of a sense that you have lived with all your life, and now had to do without. Thus, we are careful in our efforts. That is why we had those elaborate airlocks leading beyond this point. Those are only to the report desks. Further in, far more complex systems are used to keep the various hives separate and safe, just in case."

Sasuke found himself both put off by the Aburame sense of logic and straight talk and feeling grateful for it. Normally, one did not pose a direct question to another in any but the most informal setting out of concern for being seen as rude. The Aburame had no such qualms. "You wish me to take on a hive?" Sasuke asked.

Both Shibi and Shino nodded, and Shibi spoke. "We have developed a promising strain of kikaichu, one that may prove to be a great benefit to our clan in the future. But before we risk a child, it would be best to test it on someone who can communicate fully. Why? If a child cannot express themselves, they cannot warn us if something is wrong with their hive or them."

Sasuke sat back and thought. The idea made a great deal of sense, viewed through the lens of cold Aburame logic. Choose a willing host who will not have compatibility issues, implant the new strain of kikaichu, and see what happens. The idea of insects crawling through his body was creepy as hell… but that's what people always said about the Aburame themselves, without ever getting to know them.

"What does it feel like, Shino? To have a hive within you?"

Shino blinked, and Sasuke realized that his friend had never expected a question like that from Sasuke. After a moment, Shino smiled tentatively. "It feels like a friend running a finger down your arm in greeting, only done many, many times at once, at all times. It is a constant reminder that the hive lives, as do you, and with the hive, you are never truly alone."

It was Sasuke's turn to blink. He had expected a cold, clinical description of the sensation, and instead had gotten as close to sappy as he had ever seen from his friend. He took a deep breath and thought carefully about the situation, considering what else he would need to know. The Aburame would likely not fault him for thinking carefully on the offer, and would probably not feel insulted if her refused, all the more so for logical reasons. Sasuke had time to think, and he knew it. For almost five minutes, he mentally cataloged everything he thought he might need to know, while Shino and Shibi both waited patiently and silently. Finally, he started to ask questions.

"What are the risk factors?"

"Less than two percent probability of long term bodily harm, and less than point one percent of deadly risk," said Shibi. "We will teach you how to locate and neutralize the queen of your hive should you ever feel in danger. The process of receiving your queen and the creation of your kikaichu paths is unpleasant, but not permanently harmful it itself. This species is not significantly different from the previous one, only more robust and efficient in its use of chakra from the host. At this point, we are ninety eight percent certain the species is safe to use, but we Aburame prefer to get as close to one hundred percent as feasible."

"And the benefits?"

Shino looked at his father, then at Sasuke. "That depends on you. Kikaichu feed on chakra. They are also symbiotic, and will not take more from you than you offer. The more you offer, the faster and stronger the hive grows, and the further it will spread throughout your body. Initially, your hive will be limited. You will be able to drain small amounts of chakra from foes, and plant tracking bugs on them, but many of the more combative techniques of the clan may not be available to you for some time, depending on how much you permit the hive to grow."

"You mentioned honorary clan membership. Does this require me to renounce my clan, join your clan, or otherwise limit my freedom of choice when it comes to family matters?"

"No," said Shibi. "We would welcome you into our clan, if you desired, but Shino has strongly pressed us to not make that offer, as you wish to revive your clan in the future. As an honorary member, we expect and demand nothing from you. Why? Because we would not offer if you were not worthy of kinship, even informally."

Sasuke thought a moment more, then blushed slightly when he realized he had another important, if uncomfortable, question. "This will not impact my… reproductive capabilities?"

Shibi shook his head, and Sasuke thought he saw the man smother a small smile. "No," he said, "The kikaichu will avoid the relevant areas of your body. Socially, there may be consequences. Outsiders often look down on us as abnormal. We cannot promise your mating options will not decline because of this. But you will remain biologically capable. Should you be unable to find a mate, the Aburame would be willing to find a compatible one from amongst our ranks, to ensure that goal is met."

Shino must have seen Sasuke's face, because he was quick to comment. "We Aburame do not see the world as you do. For us, the social protocols of love are largely stripped away for the practicalities of raising our young in a healthy and effective manner." His face softened slightly. "We are not inhuman. We have emotions. Many of our people find love in our own way, and should we need to find you a mate, feel assured she will not be unwilling in the matter. But for us, emotions are born _in_ logic, not in spite of it. She would love you because you were her husband and the eventual father of her children, rather than something so shallow as appearance or reputation."

Shino smiled slightly. "In school, out of all your fellow classmates, I may have been one of the few who truly appreciated how you suffered at the hands of your fangirls, although I will not pretend I did not find it amusing as well."

Sasuke closed his eyes and considered his choices. He had been presented with a rare honor, that he knew, but he pushed that little bit of pride away. He was slightly disturbed by the idea of a living hive within him as well, and that was much harder to push away, but he did so. He looked at the cold logic, cost and benefit, but in the end, his fear and pride kept pushing in, distracting him from what he needed to think. He could not put aside his emotions like Shino.

_Of course, I know exactly where to get an impartial and logical opinion._

"Shino," he said, his eyes still closed, "You know of my long term goals. What is your recommendation?"

Shino needed very little time to think. "If you take the hive," he said, "You gain some unique capabilities, ones your foes may not expect. If the hive works out, you benefit. If the hive does not work out, all you have lost is the chakra you fed them during the initial stages and some slight scarring where your pathway exits were located, neither of which would be detrimental to your goals. You have little concern about the social stigma of having a hive, and neither of your teammates seem to fear me, so they should react with a neutral or possibly favorable tone. I am of the opinion that you lose nothing to take the hive, and stand to gain if it works."

Sasuke smiled in the dark. _Such a Shino answer._

"I agree, and consent to receive a hive and training amongst your clan."

* * *

As Sakura neared Dan's shop, she saw the older man standing on a small stool, placing large wooden shutters over his window. The bench he usually kept outside already missing. As she approached, Sakura peeked through one of the still open windows and saw that his shelves were empty of perishables, the coolers clean and powered down.

"Dan?" she asked apprehensively, "What happened to the shop? Everything okay?"

Dan turned at her and gave her a broad smile. When he turned, she could see that under his normal apron and work pants, he was wearing a light weight and loose workout suit instead of his usual civilian attire. "Things are wonderful!" He stepped down from the stool and swept Sakura into a surprisingly solid hug. "I saw the tape already! Kakashi made sure a copy floated my way!" He hurriedly set the last of the shutters over his window, then waved Sakura into the shop.

Once inside, Dan dragged over the bench, as well as a small plastic cooler. He opened it and pulled out a few cuts of meat for Kieri, as well as a western style sandwich for himself and Sakura. Sakura accepted the meal eagerly, her first real meal since the exams started, and the three of them spent several minutes in companionable silence as they ate. Dan finished first, then excused himself and wandered into the back.

By the time Sakura finished, Dan was walking back into the room with a large backpack held in his arms. "I have a gift for you," he said, holding out the pack. The pack was an ancient thing made of leather, poorly cared for and cracking wherever it wasn't rotting. Instead of the design Sakura was used to, with an opening on the top, the entire back of it was laced up around its contents. It was also large, nearly the size of Sakura's torso, and just as thick. She set the awkward bag on the floor and pried the old leather ties loose, eventually resorting to cutting a few of them. She unwrapped the leather to reveal a large scroll that filled nearly the entire bag, as well as a small leather pouch like the one she carried on her hip.

Dan's smile dulled a little when she looked up at him, and he waved at the scroll. She unrolled it slightly on the floor. On the very edge of the scroll, written in an archaic script, could be seen the words, _Only those who ask with sincerity may gain our aid. Only those who serve with sincerity may earn our trust._ After that was a series of thin vertical boxes. The first seven were filled with writing in a form Sakura did not recognize, followed by a series of handprints in blood. The eighth was the same, except this box was legible. Written within it was the name, "Fukui Daniel," and another set of prints, this set smeared from the tips all the way down to the near end of the scroll. Every square afterwards was blank.

Dan kneeled in front of the scroll with a tired grunt, the first time Sakura had ever seen him sit without a chair, and he touched the scroll with reverence. "I came from a distant land across the great ocean to the east when I was a mere child. My parents did not survive the crossing, and I was discarded by the crew when the ship arrived at port. I survived a meager existence on scraps and garbage. Begging was useless, my foreign nature was not appreciated in that town. It was a dirty and desperate way to live, but I still found one shining reason to keep moving each day, and that was my friend, Miro-neko.

Miro was an ally cat like me, and when we first met, I'll admit, I tried to catch and eat him. He evaded me for a full day, dragging me across the town and back again, and every time I thought I had him cornered, he escaped again. Eventually, I gave up and sat in the dirt to try and drown the rumbling of my stomach with a good cry. But Miro came back, and brought with him a loaf of bread, pilfered so skillfully from a baker that I half suspect they never found out."

Dan let out a happy sigh. "Those became golden days for me. Miro helped me get food, find shelter, watched over me in my sleep to ensure my safety. I did the same for him, and in the process, learned about stealth and secrecy, how to spot foes before they spotted me, and how to lash out wildly when cornered, until none would try to harm me any more."

Sakura waited, but Dan had gone quiet, head down, and although his lips moved, no sound was being made. "Dan? Are you ok?" she asked. When he didn't react, she laid a hand gently on his arm.

Dan lifted his head again, and unshed tears brightened his eyes. "Sorry," he said, his smile growing again. "I often miss those days, wild and free and irresponsible. But like all things, they to had to end." His smile shrunk slightly, but did not fade completely. "Miro was an old cat by the time I met him. In the few years I was with him, he went from an athletic if aging cat to an ancient and thin creature. Eventually, he grew tired and sickly. It took me a full day to find him, curled up in a hidey hole he'd never shown me, an old and closed off sewer. I guess he was too tired to leave the place.

When I found him, he dragged himself up and wobbled over to one corner of the old sewer. I followed him, and saw him pawing weakly at this scroll, propped against the wall. I picked it up, opened it, saw what had been done with it. I asked him if I should do as they had, sign my name and make my mark. Miro grunted, and I did so. The moment I made the last fingerprint, Miro let out a single purr, just the lightest little sound, and quietly died."

Sakura rubbed her eyes as Dan started to cry quietly. Eventually, Kieri wandered over and curled up next to Dan, purring quietly. That seemed to break his sorrow a little, and he ran a hand gently along the cat's back. "I came from a land without knowledge of shinobi or summoning contracts. I didn't even know what Chakra was. Thankfully, the Neko Summoning Contract is different from others of the sort. When someone new signs it, one of their kind is notified, and if no contact if forthcoming, they use a Reverse Summoning to discover what has happened."

"They were not pleased on my arrival." He laughed, and a bit of his previous good cheer returned to his voice. "Miro had been tasked with finding a new summoner when the old one died, but he was not exactly a conformist. He wasn't happy with any of the shinobi he met, and eventually gravitated to the civilian town where he found me. They trained me for more than ten years, and I still hate every single day of it." His smile was warm, even as he said that, and Sakura suspected he enjoyed it more than he let on, like an old war veteran who told warm stories about friends who had died.

"So why are you not a shinobi, Dan?"

Dan shook his head and waved his arms down at himself. "I am what I am. When not literally starving, I tend to be slightly overweight and doughy. Not to mention slow. And lazy." Sakura giggled slightly at his honest appraisal, and he laughed in return. "I'm not shinobi material, and frankly, the lifestyle scares me. I didn't think I'd handle life and death situations all that well, and after ten years, the elders of the Ninneko agreed fully. So instead, they sent me out to one of the largest shinobi villages in the world to find a new summoner."

Dan reached out and nudged the scroll closer to Sakura, who frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked with a frown on her face. "Hell, how will they feel about Kieri? Would they be angry I already have an ally?"

Kieri looked up at Dan with possibly the smuggest face a cat could have, which is impressive, because almost all cats are very good at that face. She then clawed Dan on the leg, making him jump up and curse. "All right, all right," he shouted, "I'm getting there." He turned to Sakura and pointed at Kieri. "Where do you think Keiri came from? An oddly intelligent kitten who just happens to show up one day in the Inuzuka compound? Long odds on that. I actually figured one of them would go for it, but you took on the responsibility to train her, and even if you did fumble along a bit, you turned out alright in the end."

Sakura looked at Kieri, who gave a surprisingly human nod. She then gave a short bow to Kieri and rose with a smile. "I am honored. I will gladly sign the Neko Summoning Contract." Dan handed her a pen, and she wrote her full name in the next square down the row. She then pulled out a kunai, nicked one of her fingers, and used the blood to press each print to the paper.

She finished, and Dan smiled at her. "I'll make sure Kieri remembers to summon you in a month," he said cheerfully, giving her a wave. Sakura was about to ask what he meant when the Reverse Summon technique hit and she vanished with a puff of smoke.

* * *

Lee punched the training log with full force, each blow making the solid wood target shudder. Guy was right there with him, matching blow for blow, occasionally bellowing out some advice or encouragement. Neji was busy with his clan, formalizing his role as Hinata's teacher, as well as receiving training from Hiashi-sama. When they left the preliminary, Neji had seemed off, unusual… but not in a bad way. he didn't scowl when Lee congratulated him again for reaching the finals, nor did he talk about his fate, or Lee's fate as a loser, which was abnormal enough that Lee and Tenten had looked at each other and fallen silent. They had walked together a little way, and when it came time to part ways, Neji had said goodbye… but he also gave them a small smile, a tiny little uptick of the lips that had Lee burning with youth, and Tenten too, considering how red her face got. And Neji had promised Lee a spar later, after he got settled with everything that had happened. _Win or lose, it is truly a wonderful day to be alive, because my rival had acknowledged him, and now, I must train that much harder to ensure I am a worthy foe!_ Lee laughed as he began to move faster, forcing Guy to speed up as well to keep the rhythm. Guy laughed as well.

Tenten had not joined them in their training. Guy had roped in another jonin, a man named Ebisu, to train Tenten. Lee had been worried at first when he saw Ebisu-san's cold face, and after the trainer left with Tenten, Lee had asked Guy about it.

"Lee," said Guy, his face serious. "We burn with the fires of youth. It is in our nature! But not all men and women are the same in that matter. Some must burn, but some must be cold and critical, serious, dour. It is no shame for them to be so, should such a mood serve to keep them motivated, and Ebisu is one such man. He is an elite trainer, a master of many of the core techniques we shinobi often use, and a natural choice for Tenten now that she is branching out slightly from her focus on weapons. Trust in me, Lee, and trust in him! Tenten will show the world her own youth soon enough!"

It said much about Lee that those mere words were enough to change his mind, to allow him to respect Ebisu-sama to train Tenten well. And as he continued to strike the post, his mind turned to Neji, and he began to wonder what motivated his eternal rival.

Lee heard someone approaching him from behind, slowly and hesitantly, and stopped his exercise to turn and greet whoever it was. What he saw was a blond girl around Sakura's age, dressed in a simple dark blue jumpsuit, bowing deeply on the ground. Her hair was carefully pinned up in a tight bun behind her head, arranged to be difficult to move, and her ears had clearly once had piercings, now removed.

The girl raised her head, and Lee realized he recognized her. "Yamanaka-san?" he asked. She nodded carefully, then flinched when Lee cheered and rushed over to pick her up off the ground. "Yamanaka-san, I wanted to congratulate you on your youthful fight! I was quite impressed that you defeated such a worthy and dangerous foe!"

Guy laid a hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up at him, his smile was gentle and friendly. "I was more impressed with you words after your fight, as I know Hokage-sama was. It was a good decision to make, and a credit to your serious intent." He waved the two of them over to a tree, where the two of them had laid their packs. He pulled out three canteens of water and handed one to each of the genin before taking a deep draught for himself. "I have a guess why you are here, Yamanaka-san, but please, speak freely. We are not complicated people, Lee and I, and value honest and direct statements over elaborate wordplay." Lee nodded, his face so serious and earnest that it brought a smile to Ino's own lips.

"I want you to train me," she said, looking squarely at Lee. "Sakura suggested it after… the forest. She suggested that from what she had seen, and from what she had heard from Naruto, you are a genius of hard work, and I think that's what I need." She sighed, but managed to keep smiling. "Hard work is not my family's way. Because of our clan's techniques, we tend to end up in Torture and Interrogation, and I doubt I will be any different. As such, we rarely focus on abilities outside of our clan's specialty. But I want to be a capable kunoichi, and right now I am not. I need work, hard work, and you're the one to provide it."

"Of course," said Lee cheerfully, "I am sure Guy-sensei will be glad to help you!"

Guy coughed in his fist and smiled. "She was talking to you, Lee."

Lee looked at his sensei, confused, then shook his head and looked at Ino as if she were mad. "I am not a teacher! I am a mere student! It would be better for all if Yamanaka-san were to train under you, Guy-sensei!"

It was Ino who denied that claim. "Lee, I am not anywhere near the same level as you two are. In order to train me, Guy-sama would have to reduce your own training to a very small level indeed. But you could easily give me guidance, having come from a position of weakness and made it into strength, and while I may never catch up to your level, I would still want to try. Further, with such low key training compared to what you usually do, it could easily be used as a cooldown period for your own training without disrupting your own growth."

Guy nodded along to Ino's reasoning. He had been worried about that himself, and while he knew Lee to be a kindhearted boy and would gladly make the sacrifice of time and training to help this young lady, it would curtail his own efforts, and he would soon have grown bored with the level of training that such a physically weak person would need.

"Lee, I think you should accept," said Guy, in his most serious tone and face. "It will give you a chance to learn how to teach, from a willing and receptive ally." He rested his hands on Lee's shoulders, and for a moment, marveled at how the boy had grown over the years, how tall and strong he was. It brought a manly tear to his eye. "I will not be a teacher forever, Lee, and when that day comes, you will need to pass what you know to some other young person with the fires of youth. Now is a good chance to train yourself to be a teacher as well as a fighter."

Lee looked thoughtful for a moment, his eyes narrowing in thought. But he nodded, his eyes starting to gleam with inner fire, and turned to Ino. "YOSH!" he shouted, causing Ino to flinch slightly at the volume. "I shall train you to be a genius of hard work, like myself and Guy-sensei! And if I cannot…" He paused. What challenge could ever top that, the failure of being unable to teach? Nothing could compare.

"And if I cannot," he continued, "I will do so anyhow! I will continue to teach you, until our very deaths! One way or another, you will become strong like us!" He turned to his sensei, his eyes gleaming with determination, then to Ino, who looked hopeful at his declaration, and gave them both a Number Thirty Four Nice Guy pose with Thumbs Up and Extra Tooth Sparkle with a Hand Painted Background. "I will never stop trying! That is my shinobi code!"

"Lee, I am so proud of you!" Guy swept Lee into a Manly Hug.

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy-sensei!"

"Lee!"

There was a pause. Then Lee turned to Ino, with unshed manly tears in his eyes. "Ino-san!" he shouted, with just as much enthusiasm, his arms open.

Ino began to sigh in mild distaste… then stopped herself. Old Ino valued appearances, even when there was nobody to judge. Old Ino also failed completely as a kunoichi. Maybe New Ino should give it a try. "Aw, what the hell," she finally said, "It works for you two. LEE!" And she permitted what she soon realized was not some delicate, potentially romantic hug, but a rib crushing, back aching mauling. It was not a mere hug, it was a test of strength, as she would soon discover all things were when Lee and Guy had the Power of Youth coursing through them.

"Ino-san!"

"Lee," she gasped weakly, trying to breath.

"Ino-san!"

"Lee," she barely whispered, as her vision started to fade.

"Ino-san!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry this chapter is relatively dull. I wanted to use this to set up what I will be covering in the training chapters that follow, which will emphasize character growth and interaction. I currently plan on one chapter per member of Team 7… including Kakashi, who will be part of an Omake to wrap up some loose threads from earlier.

I could not resist the final section. I simply could not. If I had more room in my story for main characters, I would gladly write Lee and Guy into every chapter.

I did add a few review quotes to Chapter 1, both for self advertisement and humor. You long term readers might want to take a peek and have a giggle. Quotes used without permission, like all reviews for all media, but hey, at least I don't edit them to make a pile of turds look like an Oscar winner.

I will be spending next week or so going through old content, editing errors and filling out some much needed description. The plot will remain the same, I am only adding details. Last time I had a look at an earlier chapter to double check my internal consistency, and it almost appeared as if I had more issues than before my last editing run... or maybe I just grew as a writer. Either way, it vexes me, and editing takes much less effort than writing, so I am willing to dedicate some time to it. Expect another chapter in about a week and a half to two weeks. If you happen to be re-reading, the chapters I have updated will have a line of bolded M's across top and bottom.

**Cute Kirby**, aside from pointing out an auto-correct error (thank you), also mentioned that Choji v Kiba was amusing not for the action, but for the tone and style of writing I used to describe it. Thanks for that, as it tells me my goal was reached. And I'm not a science nerd. I am a SUPER science nerd.

**Bookity** complains, good naturedly mind you, that my fic is not finished, and how they generally only read finished fic. If you like, I could release a chapter or two, adding more weeks between updates while referring to "personal problems" or "life" in a vague way that totally doesn't imply I reactivated my wow account and can't be bothered with my fans right now (I did, only without the "can't bother" part), only to vanish and return a year later, claiming how awesome my updates will be, and I'm back to my weekly update schedule, only to vanish yet again, this time forever. That would be finished, right? ;) I for one prefer to catch finished content as well, but not finished like that, so here I am.

A lot of folks, including **euroteres** and **Death276**, commented how awkward Hinata and Naruto's date will be. _Damn. Right._ Definitely will come up as an Omake eventually. Believe it!

**Illucidia** asks if Hinata knows the 64 Palms in canon. As far as I could tell, yes, and it's listed on her wiki page, so I just rolled with it.

Thanks to **Calibkir** for pointing out a few obvious errors in previous chapters. Stuff like that helps immensely.

**Zilco** mentioned a dislike for training chapters, something I understand. They are often relatively slow reads. Unfortunately, they also often contain character growth, and two of the three chapters I have planned coming up have character growth as a core part of the chapter, and the third is going to once I decide where to go with it. Sorry, pal, but hang tight, I have an excellent Omake coming up as well, dealing with the aftermath of the various bets and other events from the exams. And I already have the ultimate punchline, which I suspect will make every last one of you at least giggle.


	32. The Lessons We Learn Today

** Sasuke **

* * *

The moment Sasuke had agreed to receive a hive they had pulled out paperwork. Reams of it. He signed requisitions for kikaichu care books, early hive growth materials, a detailed and nearly unreadable paper that categorized the particular strain of kikaichu he was to receive and all of its traits, and a lot of legal forms that essentially said, over a span for twenty pages, that he did not hold the Aburame clan responsible for accidents or problems, and that the kikaichu he would receive would become his legal property.

Having signed all the forms, Shibi and Shino had escorted him past the airlock he had seen previously, a long series of doors designed to seal to the point of being airtight. In each room, a light of a different color lit the area, from blue to green to violet, and the floor had vibrated. Shino explained that the airlocks were designed to trigger different effects from different breeds of kikaichu, allowing visitors to discern if they had any stowaways.

Sasuke noticed Shibi and Shino let out very small and very similar sighs at the end of the third room. When the older man noticed he was being watched, he gave a small smile. "Agitating kikaichu is uncomfortable for us, akin to an itch you cannot scratch. I always disliked this procedure, but follow it anyhow. It is important. Remember that, should you come here again." Sasuke nodded, remembering the talk of contamination from earlier.

From there, they had lead him into a shockingly bright hallway, painted solid white and lit with long tube lights on the ceiling. The hallway was long, straight, and carved into a squared off and even shape, making it stand out after the warren that was the Aburame residential area. At the end of the hall was a small room containing baggy white one piece suits along the walls and a second airlock, this one guarded by an Aburame with the same sort of suit on. Each suit had tight fitting closures on the arms, legs, and neck, as well as a strange, tubular hat that strapped from forehead to the nape of the neck and held back Sasuke's hair.

"We take potential cross contamination seriously," said Shibi as he and Shino stepped into their suits and began to seal them. "This keeps our hives from leaving, and keeps other kikaichu from trying to hide within us. Remember that, should you come here again."

From there, they entered yet another set of airlocks, same as the first, but beyond them was a much dimmer example of the previous hallway, this one sloping downward in a gentle spiral. It was still a brilliant white and still carved smooth and straight, but the lighting was more subdued. "It is designed this way," explained Shino, "To give insects no opportunity to hide. All who pass through here are to watch carefully and report any insect they see in this room that is not their own, and expected to keep their hives fully within them. Remember that, should you come here again."

They walked for several minutes, slowly spiraling downward. They passed many metal doors, each one labeled with an elaborate numbering system. They also passed several Aburame as they did so, most of them pushing carts laden with bottles and glass containers. Each nodded politely to all three as they passed, and they all returned the acknowledgement. "These people," said Shibi quietly, "are the caretakers. They feed those hives that are not implanted, keeping a safe breeding stock for future hives. They have no hive of their own, only the pathways, and instead go from hive to hive. To not have their own hive is an unpleasant thing, and yet they all are volunteers for the work. Be respectful of them, they can help you if you have questions."

"Remember that, should I come here again?" Sasuke asked, with a small smile. Shibi nodded, deadly serious, but from the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Shino look away and smirk just slightly.

Eventually, Shibi stopped in front of a door. This door was marked differently from the others, saying "XX-EXP" instead of following the number system. The door opened to reveal a room that was much darker than the hallway had been, shrouding the room beyond in impenetrable gloom. Sasuke heard the click of his host's glasses being put away over the background sound of humming insects, and resolved then and there to get a pair for future visits.

It took several minutes for his eyes to adjust well enough to see the room and its contents, during which time Shibi and Shino remained at his side, silently waiting. Once he was able to see, he realized that this room was lined on either side with hundreds of small, clear boxes, each one with a label. He leaned in to look closer and saw that each box had an elaborate code printed carefully on it, and each one contained a single insect of some sort. Some were obviously damaged, like the one with an extra set of wings that interfered with the original set, leaving the entire misshapen insect nothing to do but crawl around the box, dragging its wings forlornly. Others looked identical to what Sasuke was used to seeing from Shino, but each was held separate and labeled differently.

At the very end of the room was a large glass door, beyond which Sasuke could see a lone man leaning over a desk with an upper section made of glass and a lower section of stone. On either side of the desk, Sasuke could see a clear box, slightly larger than the ones in the room, and inside the desk, he saw two kikaichu flying leisurely in circles.

Shibi walked over and tapped on the glass door, causing the man to look up at them. He wore his hair much like Shino did, a disorganized and ragged cut, but the man's hair was much longer, resulting in what could only be called a mess of hair surrounding his head, all white with age. His fluffy beard and goatee, combined with that hair, resulted in a look that could only be described as "surprised cotton ball." The man was obviously an elder, his face lined with the onset of old age, and he raised himself from his stooped position slowly.

But most shocking of all, when the man saw Sasuke, he smiled. Not some small, barely noticed uptick of the lips, but a genuine smile, one that could rival Naruto's in jovial grandeur. "Ahh, Shibi, Shino," he said cheerfully, "I see you have brought the young man you spoke so well of finally!" The old man looked at his desk for a moment, checking that it was sealed properly, then made his way to the glass doors and opened them, waving the three of them inside. "Come in, come in, let's have a look."

He eyed Sasuke from toes to crown, and his smile only grew larger. "A healthy young man, in good condition. An excellent subject!" He stuck out a hand. "I am Aburame Tobokonchu, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Uchiha. Please, call me Tobo."

Sasuke shook the man's hand hesitantly, and Tobo started to laugh. "Yes," he said, "I know, strange for a Aburame to be so expressive, right?" He shot a grin at Shibi, whose face did not change. "I spent a lot of time outside the hive in my youth, unlike my distant nephew here, and it rubbed off on me." He chuckled and wandered over to his desk. He pressed a hand to the glass, shutting his eyes and humming to himself until the insects within went into their individual boxes, which closed around them. Once they had shut, Tobo pulled each box and carried them back into the storage room outside, sliding them into place. He then moved along the left wall until he was some distance away and leaned into squint at the number on the box before him. He nodded to himself, pulled the box, and walked quickly back into the room.

"I see you're slated for XX-109a, the end product of my life's work, the Kikaichu Enhancement Program." He hummed merrily to himself as he reached below the glass portion of the table, pulling up a clipboard bulging with paper, which he started to thumb through. "I have been working on this for some time," he continued, flipping page after page. "It took more than fifteen hundred generations before I finally got it right, you know. I still don't know why the one breed keeps ending up with additional wings, or the ones that started eating flesh instead of chakra, but I managed to weed those inconsistencies out after another twenty or so generations." He looked up from the paper, and seeing Sasuke sitting calmly, frowned. "You're not worried about these insects eating you in your sleep?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I trust Shibi-sama and Shino, and they have given me a reasonable explanation of the risks involved. As they did not mention my flesh being consumed in my sleep, I am assuming either you're deliberately trying to rile me up and scare me away, or else you were successful in your breeding efforts."

"Damn," replied Tobo, his smile returning to his face. "You already talk like one of us. Excellent!" He stepped around the desk and looked Sasuke in the eye, his face serious. "Uchiha-kun, I am very glad for this, but listen. The process will hurt, a great deal, and the more you encourage them, the faster they'll expand and the more it will hurt. It _will_ feel like they are eating you alive. This is not what is happening, but it will feel exactly as you would expect. Do not swat at your skin. Do not poke at the holes. Do not push them any harder than you can handle. And when in doubt, withdraw your chakra from the queen's location, and they will stop expanding. Got it?"

Sasuke nodded, and Tobo clapped his hands and practically pranced back around the desk. He reached down and dug into the stone portion of the desk, eventually pulling up a small bottle with a thick needle attached. He hummed to himself, opening the bottle, then the box containing the queen. He held out a finger, and the queen flew over and landed on it. Tobo smiled at it as if it was his own child, then raised his hand towards Sasuke for inspection.

Sasuke was rather surprised. The queen was twice as large as a normal kikaichu, with a longer abdomen and a thicker shell that closed over its wings. Also, unlike normal kikaichu, the queen shimmered with iridescence, the color of her carapace shifting from green to blue to purple depending on how the light hit it. _For a mere insect,_ he thought as he watched it shimmer and dance on Tobo's fingers, _she is beautiful. _She rotated on her perch on Tobo's hand and wiggled the two feelers on her head at Sasuke, and Sasuke found himself fighting an urge to return the greeting with his fingers.

"Go on," said Tobo, still smiling, "Say hello, Uchiha-kun."

Sasuke raised his two fingers and imitated the movement she had made as well as he could. The queen buzzed for a moment, her shell lifting to reveal a double pair of translucent wings, then took off, flying around Sasuke's head several times before landing on his shoulder, where he could feel her thrumming at him.

"Kikaichu are not sentient," said Shibi, his lips slightly upturned. "They have no sense of self beyond the overall health of the hive, and no language that can be directly translated by us. But they do have some degree of intelligence, just like any other companion. They will speak to you in code, with the sound of their wings and the tap of their feet and the wiggle of their limbs. This code I will help you learn, but much of it will be learned by you and her together. Your code is singular, as is your hive. And they do seem to appreciate a good host."

Tobo laughed and clapped his hands again, and Shibi's face returned to its normal stoic blankness. "Ahhh, I love when one of my people actually admits to enjoying life in a manner others understand," he said cheerfully. "I always appreciate the effort involved." He walked over to Sasuke and held the bottle out, allowing the queen to back into it before snapping the needle shut.

"Uchiha-kun," he said, "Please focus your chakra wherever it is you intend to keep your queen. Do not tell me where it is, nor anyone else. Should the queen die, your hive will become unstable and unhelpful until a new queen can be transformed from a drone, which takes days. She is your link to it, and thus, a weakness."

Sasuke thought for a moment, then focused his chakra to his left shoulder, just below his shoulder blade. Then Shibi gave a slight cough, and Sasuke turned to look at him, only to feel a sudden and painful stabbing sensation on his back. Before he could flinch away, the needle was out, and Tobo was already returning to his desk.

"The queen is now sensing where you want her to nest. However, the sensation of her reaching that point is unpleasant. Thankfully the species began its evolution into a shinobi ally as a parasite, so she will instinctively wait until you sleep to make the initial transition. When you wake up tomorrow she will be ready to begin, her eggs already hatched into drones. The new drones will start to make your pathways, just under your skin. It will hurt as they make the pathway, but once they have made it, the pain will cease. The area will be tender, but that will fade quickly. Meanwhile," he smiled in a manner that looked almost manic, and reached down into the desk again, "I have some forms for you to sign…"

* * *

Sasuke woke up the next day with his back slightly sore in a line that ran from his injection point to his left shoulder. He could feel the occasional tap of the queen's legs under his skin, and while the sensation was strange, knowing what it was, it was not nearly as unpleasant as he had expected. _Or maybe Shino just prepared me well enough._

He got up and made his way to the kitchen, pouring himself a small glass of water. To that, he added a spoonful of what Tobokonchu insisted on calling Royal Jelly, even after Shibi had pointed out it was actually a powder. The diluted medicine was disgusting, cloyingly sweet and bitter at the same time, but Sasuke choked it down without complaint. "This will loosen your skin slightly," Shibi had said as he was explaining the things Sasuke was receiving for his early hive care. "It also has a mild numbing agent. Both of these will make it easier on you and your hive as they start to spread. Take it each morning and each night."

With nothing better to do, Sasuke cleaned up his futon and sat at his kitchen table, an interesting book on the differences between poisons and venoms waiting for him, as was his breakfast. He then took a deep breath and focused his chakra on the location he had chosen for the queen, willing her to begin. _Let's see how bad this will be_.

The effect was immediate. A searing pain started in his shoulder, a sensation akin to a knife being dragged through his skin, and Sasuke hissed in surprise at how sharp it felt. He retracted his chakra, and the pain stopped. _Shit,_ he thought, taking a deep breath. _They were serious when they said it would hurt._ He stilled his beating heart, then focused even more chakra at the queen.

The pain increased dramatically, and Sasuke had to stop after a minute, the pain having moved only a quarter inch at best. Sasuke grit his teeth, knowing that he was in for a lot of suffering, and decided he was more inclined to try and go for a walk to hopefully distract himself. He knew for certain that the book would not hold his attention under such an onslaught.

* * *

Kakashi spotted Sasuke from the tavern, where he was discussing with Anko how he should spend his winnings of the bets he had already won. She was laughing uprorously at his retelling of his confrontation with Yasui Kaz about the wording of their bet, and as she did so, he happened to glance out the window and saw Sasuke passing by, his posture slumped and his teeth grit. He excused himself quickly, getting a miffed snort from his companion, and dashed out to catch the boy.

"Yo, my cute stude… Are you ok, Sasuke?"

Kakashi did not ask that question on a whim. Sasuke looked terrible, covered in sweat and panting slightly, his skin slightly pale and his eyes somewhat bloodshot. It looked like his little genin was having a heart attack, and while that was highly unlikely, Kakashi was not a medic. He was ready to grab Sasuke and dash for the hospital when the boy managed to grunt at him.

"Hive," Sasuke managed to mumble through his clenched teeth.

Kakashi winced and nodded. Shibi had informed him ahead of time about the possibility that Sasuke would be working on growing a hive. He did not know much about the Aburame clan or how their hives worked, but he knew that the insects could travel under their skin. He assumed they did so by making tunnels within the boy's body, which had to hurt tremendously. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked.

"Distract. Train."

Kakashi thought for a moment, then asked, "Is it safe for you and… it? Them?" He waved his hand vaguely, unsure how Sasuke might refer to the insects, but certain that most Aburame had a sore spot when it came to how others treated their companions.

"Collective... Them. Whatever. Quit... Bullshit."

Kakashi gave a mental sigh, but he had to give it to the boy, Sasuke was willing to work hard to improve himself at least. _And there was one thing I wanted to teach him before the finals._ Kakashi out his arm gently around Sasuke's shoulders and started steering him to one of the more distant training grounds. "Well, there _is_ one move I wanted to give you, to pass down as it were…"

* * *

** Sakura **

* * *

Sakura grunted and swung as hard as she could at the ice covered rock. The pick in her hand bit deep, and after a quick test to see if it would hold her weight, she pulled herself another arm's length up the mountain, fighting to ignore the burning sensation in her arms as she did so. The wind chose that moment to blow, sending snow and ice into her hood and down the back of her neck.

"What a delightful spring breeze," said her companion for this journey, an ancient and patch coated cat named Onna who had slung herself across Sakura's shoulders at the start of the journey, and who was apparently quite snug under the girl's borrowed jacket.

Sakura bit back her aggravation. Her arrival at the home of the ninneko, an ancient and somewhat rundown castle, had been unexpected by the cats, but after the initial surprise, they quickly adjusted and went back to their usual feline behavior, which mostly consisted of ignoring her.

Sakura had expected some sort of test, so she had waited quietly for them to speak to her. She spent her time wandering the castle, looking out the window, and practicing her forms in what had once been a walled off garden, now overgrown and wild. The cats ignored her, so she ignored them right back. After all, they _were_ cats.

Eventually a minor ninneko, barely more than a kitten, had approached her and requested that she help her grandmother get back home. Sakura had jumped at the chance to make a connection with the ninneko, no matter how small, and had graciously accepted. That's when she learned two things, unfortunately. The first was, spry as the elder cat was, she was completely disinclined to walk or otherwise convey herself, instead choosing to ride Sakura like a horse. The second was that she lived alone on top of the highest mountain in the region.

These things were apparently not a surprise to Onna, who had been saving human sized equipment for that very occasion, and had been quite friendly when she offered to let Sakura used them for free. Sakura had been angry at first and almost refused to use them, but the old cat had insisted and by then Sakura had no desire to argue.

Now, hanging onto the sheer side of the mountain by the purchase granted to her by two ice picks and all of the friction she could get out of her contact with the mountain, Sakura was glad she had agreed. Initially, she had planned on scaling the mountain like any other obstacle, using her chakra to stick to it, but the moment she began to channel it, Onna had freaked out and started clawing her mercilessly. Apparently, Onna was both old and sensitive to chakra. "It makes my bones ache," she had said as Sakura had cleaned and bandaged her cuts, "and an old girl certainly has enough aches in her life."

And oh, how she hurt. All shinobi used chakra to increase their strength, agility, and endurance in a passive manner. The human body alone could not do half the things considered normal by their standards. For a shinobi, leaping twenty feet to go from tree branch to tree branch faster than a civilian could run was a genin standard.

What she had been doing for the past day had been grueling. No chakra to increase her endurance. No chakra to reduce her fatigue. No chakra to make the ordeal faster. Sakura, used to moving meters at a time, was reduced to a single grueling arms length, one at a time. Her arms burned and trembled with exhaustion, so much so that she had tied her picks to her arm in case she lost her grip. She was tired, more than tired, weary to the bone, as a body used to fueling itself through chakra instead fueled itself through nothing more than her meager breakfast the day before and her own stubborn, cussed willpower.

With another grunt, Sakura lifted her other arm and smashed the pick into the ice. She had been astounded when they had arrived at the mountain. No mountain should consist almost entirely of flat vertical surfaces, but that was certainly all she could see when she looked at the towering cliffs. In the end, she had no choice but to drag herself up, one grueling arm's length at a time, to the unending sound of blowing wind, crackling ice, and an old cat loudly commenting on how warm and comfortable she was.

Sakura pulled herself up, then swung her pick again, only to meet nothing but air. She managed a glance upward and realized she had reached the top, and after a few moments she pulled herself up on the edge and rolled over, panting in the snow. There was a shuffling sound in her coat, and Onna peeked out of her hood. "Ahh," said the ancient cat with a tired yawn with her old and creaky voice. "It seems we're here."

Sakura rolled over and looked at their destination, her mood darkening. She had expected something grand, an old temple or fortification, or even just a pleasant and fanciful wooden building. What she found, however, was a shack. A large shack, to be sure, and once a grand place, built along the lines of a dojo, but now, just a shack. A gust of wind howled across the top of the mountain and caused the shack to shudder as if ready to collapse.

"Well, come on, lazy," said Onna, snuggling back under Sakura's hood, "up and at it. We'll get you some tea before you climb back down." Sakura bit back a sharp reply and pulled herself to her feet, then trudged to the nearest door and slid it aside. The room inside was dark and dusty, with warped hardwood floors and faded tapestries. She followed Onna's instructions to the kitchen, a tiny wood burning stove tucked into an old closet space, with a single chipped ceramic cup and a tin kettle and several crates stuffed with preserved food, mostly cat food.

Sakura went through the motions, setting water to boil and setting out the one cup she could find, while Onna finally left her shoulders and curled up in the corner nearest to the stove. After a few minutes, the old cat began to purr. "It's good to be home," she said quietly, curling herself into a tight ball. "This may be a rundown old place, but home is about what you are happy with, I think. And you?" The old cat opened one eye, watching Sakura search around the tiny closet after realizing there was no tea. When the girl made no reply, Onna stretched out slightly. "Of course, who am I to speak, I suppose. I settled for this place, far less than I was due. Maybe it's for the young to dream of something more."

Sakura nodded robotically, but then stopped when she considered the cat's words. After a moment, she asked, "What was due to you?"

Onna let out a short purr and sat up, her tail curling around her legs, her long whiskers spreading out from her face. "Onna is not my name, although I answer to it," she said, and her voice suddenly had a lot less gravel in it. "It's part of my title, Kurayami no Onna, Lady of the Darkness, and it is one I earned well. Back when that layabout Dan was here, I was head of the ninneko clan."

When she saw Sakura perk up slightly at this, she gave the human a feline grin and flicked her tail a few times. "I was the one who defended our home from invaders. I watched our land, and when someone approached with ill intent, I would wait until nightfall before I visited them. There was no mercy offered, because none was expected, and nobody earned my ire unless they were a direct threat to me and mine."

She grunted and lay back down. "But old age gets us all, girl, and you best remember that. I spent so much time worrying about my people that I put no thought to myself. I made no effort, no preparation, and when I grew too old to do my duty and retired, I found that I had nothing left of my life. I had no real family, just distant relations I barely knew like the kitten I roped into asking you to carry me. I had no home, having spent most of my life in my office or in the field. I was granted this place, the place where I once trained, because none other had need of it. And now, I think you'd better ask, because I know you are going to."

Sakura got on her knees and bowed low to the ancient warrior before her. "Will you train me, Kurayami no Onna?"

Onna laughed, a warm and happy chuckle that sounded out of place coming from an old cat. "Just Onna will do." She stood from her corner and walked forward to twine herself though Sakura's legs. "My girl, I have waited for many years for this chance. I trained Dan when I was much younger, and that lazy bastard never did anything with it. He is the most cat-like human I have ever met." She said this with warmth, as any teacher would speak of a student who for all their failure had none the less earned their teacher's love. Sakura smiled at that and nodded in agreement.

"We ninneko live a great deal longer than our natural cousins do, but even we grow old. I was greatly enthused when the notice went out that someone had arrived after signing the contract. But after the fiasco with Dan, none wanted the task of teaching a new summoner until they knew it was worth the effort. Their loss is my gain, I'd be happy to become famous for training a student such as yourself, even if it'll be a lot of work."

Sakura grunted in irritation, but a smile managed to make its way through her aggravation and weariness in spite of herself. "So, sensitive to chakra? How does that work for a ninneko?"

Onna laughed again. "I had to test you somehow. I knew from the feel of you that you were a proper shinobi, and many of them would gladly pass on an unpaid charity mission when given such an unpleasant limitation as not using chakra. You did well. I had assumed at some point your body would give out and I'd have to save you." Onna stood and started to walk away. "I have no tea, as you suspected, so we may as well start. Follow me."

* * *

Sakura held out her flashlight and stared into the dark room.

It was large, built into the center of the dojo out of thick iron plates. Inside she could see hundreds of small holes built into every wall. The walls were also covered in minute dents, some of them quite deep. Sakura had a rough idea what the box was used for, and was quite nervous about it.

"We call this Schrodinger's Box," said Onna from her seat next to the door, the grin on her face matching the tone of her voice. "You enter, and until the door opens again, nobody knows if you've survived. It is soundproofed and very, very solid, because yes, those holes are used to launch projectiles at frightening speeds at whoever is inside. It will probably not kill you, Sakura… at least, not unless I coil the springs a few times more then normal."

Sakura gulped nervously. She was a shinobi, and was good at dodging ranged attacks, but with hundreds of potential attack angles at the same time, her reactions would be a great deal slower than normal.

" And when you enter, you may bring no light with you."

Sakura whirled at the cat. "I'm supposed to do this blind?"

Onna smiled, her eyes glowing in the dim shine from Sakura's flashlight, giving her a feral and wild appearance. "You won't be, when I am done with you."

* * *

** Naruto **

* * *

After the Great Toad Sage had pulled himself from the floor after his close encounter with Ayame's Mark V Cast Iron Frymaster with Luxurious Wood Handle, Jiraiya had laughed at himself and told Naruto he was there to train the boy. Naruto had nodded and agreed to meet the pervert in the park after lunch the next day, then left and immediately went to tell an adult, because something about the man hit all of the little buttons inside of him that said, _here and now, you need an adult_.

Naruto asked Kakashi about Jiraiya, who regaled him with stories of his encounters with the World's Greatest Super Pervert, giggling frequently and leaving suspicious gaps in the stories filled with nothing but more giggles and a promise to tell Naruto some other time. Jiraiya sounded like an awesome shinobi from those stories, even if he was a tremendous pervert.

Naruto then asked Hokage-jiji, who told stories about the legend of Jiraiya the Sannin, Toad Sage, one of the three who so amused Hanzo of the Salamander with their skill in battle that he bestowed the title of Sannin upon them. When Naruto brought up Jiraiya's _other_ apparent habits, Hokage-jiji had coughed into his fist and suggested that, aside from maybe that, nobody could be a better teacher for Naruto at this point than Jiraiya.

And thus, Naruto found himself walking through the park, looked at every bush like it might contain his new sensei. Eventually, Naruto spotted the man sitting at a park bench, scribbling into a small notebook and giggling to himself.

Naruto ducked into some nearby bushes and observed his sensei. Every time a male walked by, Jiraiya would look at him with a thoughtful and measuring look, jotting down some quick notes, and those men would often flinch away or glare at the famous pervert, although when Kakashi passed by, he asked Jiraiya to sign his book, something the man did with a cheerful grin.

Every time a female walked by, however, Jiraiya became another man entirely. He would look at them with a faint sparkle in his eye and a leer on his face, giggling quietly and cheerfully, his pencil moving a mile a minute as he wrote several pages, his eyes never leaving the woman in question. Reactions were split in this case. Civilians would blush and turn away, or blush and glance shyly at the man. Kunoichi would blush and glare at him as if they could bring him to ignition temperature by that method.

Eventually, once he saw the pattern, Naruto decided to get the drop on the distracted perverted sage, in the name of normal folk everywhere. He drew a fake Explosive Tag from his pouch and started to sneak forward silently the next time Jiraiya noticed a woman and started giggling. Naruto was good at stealth, having honed that skill well during his efforts to prank every citizen he could back in his youth, and every time Jiraiya stopped giggling, he froze, waiting for the next titter to mask his already quiet footsteps.

Jiraiya never stopped his scribbles, even as Naruto rose up behind the bench, fake tag in hand and ready to slip into Jiraiya's headband. Then Jiraiya moved slightly, raising his book and looking at it as if it contained his next masterpiece. Naruto glanced up at the notepad and froze.

Written in the middle of the pad, surrounded by pointless scribbles, was the words, '_Put it down and come sit next to me, Naruto, you've been watching me long enough.'_ Naruto's estimation of the pervert rose dramatically. It was not that Jiraiya had caught him. He was only a genin, and while he was good at stealth, he was not specialized in it. It was because Jiraiya never once broke character or acknowledged Naruto's presence, even as the pervert flashed his message to Naruto. Even as Naruto thought all of this the act continued, and he watched as Jiraiya flipped a page and started scribbling madly as two women wandered by, blushing and giggling at him. The scribbles were meaningless nonsense, except for the words in the middle of the page, which said, 'C_ome on, have a seat, it's time to learn from the great Jiraiya of the Sannin.'_

Naruto sighed and took a seat next to the older man, who laughed quietly and gave him a pat on the back. "If it makes you feel better, that was a good job. Against many shinobi, I think you would have succeeded."

Naruto grunted and rolled his eyes. "So, what are you going to teach me today, pervert?"

Jiraiya smiled and slapped Naruto lightly in the back of the head. "Show some respect, kid! Call me Jiraiya, call me sensei, call me sage, anything. Just show some respect for the badass ninja who is going to teach you how to be badass too."

Naruto grinned at the older man. "Fine, _pervy_ sage, what're you going to teach me?"

Jiraiya chuckled and accepted the title. It suited his purpose anyhow. "Tell me," he asked, leaning back and stretching himself over the park bench, "What was I doing while you were watching me?" He took a relaxed pose, arms dangling over the back of the bench, legs sprawled, as if he was a bachelor back in his pad with not a care in the world.

"Writing smut," grumbled Naruto. Kakashi had explained exactly who Jiraiya was and why Naruto was not allowed to read the man's books until he was older. Watching his sensei squee like a fangirl and clutching his book to his chest was not a pleasant experience, and Naruto was still slightly put out from it.

Jiraiya nodded cheerfully. He then glanced up the road and grinned. "Good, good. Watch what I write on this one." He pulled out his pad of paper and pencil, and his face went instantly from congenial old man to congenial old super pervert instantly.

Naruto gulped when Kurenai appeared down the path and began walking towards them. Her red eyes drifted over and spotted Naruto, and she began to smile. Then Jiraiya giggled, and her eyes turned hard as they tracked over to the man scribbling in his notebook and staring at her. She stomped over and stopped in front of the pair, crossing her arms and stomping once again on the ground to draw attention. "What," she asked Naruto, "are you doing with _that_ thing?"

Naruto was at a loss. He didn't want to be associated with Jiraiya… well, okay, he wanted to be, but the Sannin part only, not the creepy pervert part. He nervously started to mumble something, then stopped in horror when he realized that Jiraiya was _panting at her._

"Why, hello, you wondrous beauty," Jiraiya said in his smoothest voice, his leer not falling even slightly. "And how stunning you look today, between your ruby lips, your alluring eyes, your incredible heaving t-" Kurenai let out a burst of killing intent, causing Naruto to back away as far as he could on the bench. "Well," said Jiraiya, "I can't do much with that personality quirk in my next book…. or maybe I can. Hmmm, the beautiful young store clerk, angry at every man who meets her, until one day, she finds a man manly enough to tame her angry heart…" Jiraiya started scribbling again, his voice trailing off into a giggle.

Kurenai snarled and threw up her hands, then turned to Naruto. "Don't you dare pick up his habits, Uzumaki. Because if I catch you peeping like I caught this pervert last year, you will not be able to escape." She sent one last glare at Jiraiya, ineffective as it was with him paying her no mind any longer, then strode away, her posture stiff.

The moment she got out of hearing range, Jiraiya stopped scribbling and turned to Naruto with his normal, somewhat friendly face. "What did I write?" he asked his student, holding up the note pad.

"Something perverted, I bet," came the reply.

Jiraiya shook his head and handed Naruto the notepad, one particular page opened to it. Naruto gave it a glance, then gave it a good look. A lot of it was scribbling, vaguely like writing, but so scrawling it was illegible. There were also some edit marks, several arrows and cross marks placed over the original nonsense. "So… you wrote something perverted and then edited it?" he asked, slightly confused.

Jiraiya pointed out in front of him with a smirk. 'You see the Hokage tower over there? Hold the pad out next to it, as if you're shocked what is written, and then keep an eye on it. Look past the pad and at the tower."

Naruto did what he was told, putting on the dumb and confused face he once gave the world when he was caught at a prank, and started watching. At first, it made no sense. All he could see was a few shinobi guards along the roof, occasionally moving around slightly. Then, one of them jumped from one floor to the next, a routine procedure intended to catch infiltrators off guard. Another jumped a few moments later, this time horizontally, to take the place of the previous shinobi, and Naruto saw it.

Naruto watched in awe as the shinobi across the way jumped in an exact formation, each maneuver matching the editing marks on the pad perfectly. After a few moments of study, Naruto began trying to predict the next move, and did so successfully. He turned to Jiraiya with the same dumbfounded look he had been wearing, and got a small nod from the older man.

"So now you know what I wrote. So tell me, why did nobody notice? Not Kakashi, not Kurenai, not one of the people who passed by, Shinobi included? And yes, I knew who they are. And they knew who I am. So why?" He took the pad back, pulled out his pencil, and started his act again when a male wandered by. The male noticed the scrutiny, paled, and turned away, his stride lengthening as he marched away as fast as he could.

_He flinched and turned away._

"They know you're a pervert," Naruto said, the words coming slowly as they pushed through the mental shock he felt at the realization that the dorky super pervert he was sitting next to was a _badass_. "They _know_ what you're writing is smut. You're famous for it. And because they are either embarrassed or a fan, nobody looks." Naruto slumped back into the bench, unconsciously mirroring the sannin next to him, and a small smile started to creep across his face. "That… is an incredible prank."

Jiraiya laughed and tucked his notepad away. "That's right, gaki. I am the legendary super pervert, Jiraiya of the Sannin, slayer of men, wooer of women, gigantic egomaniac, fabulous dancer, and famous author of the most depraved smut imaginable! What else could I possibly be writing?" He stood up and reached behind his back, pulling out Naruto's frog wallet and tossing it to his flabbergasted student, who had never expected to see it again. "When I swatted your hand, you flinched away from the movement," he explained. "So I snagged it and chucked a rock through the roof along with a couple low denomination bills. You watched the rock sail away, but you were _certain_ it was your wallet, and that is what you believed until just now. Show someone what they expect, and they'll often stop paying attention to the details, and details kill in our world."

Jiraiya spread his arms, raising them as if to encompass everything around him. "This whole world is nothing but a giant stage, gaki, and if you play your character right, people who pass you on the street will see the character, not you. I'm a legendary and dangerous fighter, but am infamously easy to fool and easy to distract with women. And every time someone tries to pull something on me, they bring an attractive woman with them, because not one is willing to consider that I'm better than that. I taught it to y… uhh, Minato, the fourth Hokage, who taught it to Kakashi, and now, if you like, I'll teach it to you."

"Teach me what?" asked Naruto, looking up at the man, rimmed by the sun like a halo, his hair glowing brilliantly.

Jiraiya held out a hand. "I'm going to teach you to be invisible."

* * *

Naruto and Jiraiya were sitting at Ichiraku Ramen once more, this time with far less tension, mostly because Jiraiya had paid Teuchi a great deal of money to repair his roof, and had apologized profusely to Ayame. Naruto was fairly certain his begging and pleading had helped the older man's case, but in the end, they allowed the sannin to return, and even started to smile cheerfully as the two of them ate when they saw the two of them getting along.

"I see one problem with this whole invisibility thing, Pervy Sage," Naruto said around the noodles he was stuffing into his face. "I've gotta get ready to kick some ass in the finals, and while your 'Art of Public Invisibility' is cool and all, nobody in the arena is going to be fooled."

Jiraiya shook his head. "Getting your foe to underestimate you is a powerful tool. Kakashi told me about your Hundred and One Things jutsu. You would be amazed how many shinobi would be thrown off by that technique, simply because it's such a mind bogglingly stupid technique to use in a fight." He shook a finger at the grinning blond before he could speak up. "Not that you should use it all that much. It would work well on a taijutsu or genjutsu type, but a ninjutsu type would simply blow them away, as would anyone with enough explosive tags or any number of possible bloodline traits. Use it sparingly, gaki."

Naruto nodded and ordered another bowl. "Still," he said with a slight frown, "I had hoped you'd have time to teach me a thing or two for more immediate use. It'd be great if I could go into the arena and kick ass with the new technique the incredible Jiraiya of the Sannin taught me." He gave a pleading look to the older man, eyes wide and gleaming, lip quivering slightly. "Please, Pervy Sage?"

"Stop," Jiraiya said, pretending to shield his eyes. "Not the begging face!"

Naruto turned it up a notch, giving a small sniff and pinching his hand hard enough for his eyes to tear. "Please, Jiraiya-sensei?"

"Gahh! All right, all right. I know you have your shadow clones, so I suppose we can have you use them to learn a few things while I teach you my most masterful art. There had been a thing or two I wanted to train you with anyhow." Naruto grinned cheerfully, beaming at Jiraiya as hard as he deliberately could, and Jiraiya laughed at the act. "God, kid, you're just like your mother, you know."

Naruto stopped the act and leaned forward quickly, upsetting his bowl as he grabbed the sannin's red overcoat. "Y-you knew my mother?"

Jiraiya looked at Naruto, and something seemed off about the man, like it had when they had first met. _He looks happy and sad at the same time,_ thought Naruto as Jiraiya's face fell for a moment, then rose back into a grin.

"Yeah, I knew her," Jiraiya said, resting his elbows on the bar and leaning against it. "I knew your dad, too."

Naruto opened his mouth to ask… to demand to know, but he stopped before he could say anything. His first thought was, _Why did nobody tell me, if they knew?_ And then he asked himself why the Hokage would keep such a thing from him, and the answer slapped him in the metaphorical face. _Because it's important not to tell me, just like the kyuubi was, a dangerous secret._ Naruto sat back and closed his mouth, licking his suddenly dry lips, and as much as it hurt, he knew what he had to say. "I… I understand," he said, his voice shaking. "If you can tell me anything, I'd appreciate it, but if not… I think I get why."

Jiraiya gave Naruto a smile, not the cheerful half grin he usually had, but a warm smile, much smaller than usual and yet that much more meaningful for it. The boy's emotions had been written clear on his face, as had his understanding. "No… I'll tell you. But it would be best to go elsewhere before I do. You are correct in your assumption on why I know and you don't." _After all,_ he told himself, _there's no point being the mighty Jiraiya if I can't break the occasional rule..._

* * *

Naruto sat on the Hokage monument, watching the sunset with Jiraiya.

He was sitting on the Fourth Hokage's head.

His dad's head.

Naruto felt a little numb inside. He'd thought about who his parents were before, in his own little private fantasies, and thought about how he would react in those daydreams. Maybe his parents were awesome, and he'd jump about and celebrate. Or maybe they would be evil criminals, and he would cry and swear to return his family name to honor. He'd even considered the truth, in one of his more elaborate fantasies. He imagined himself cartwheeling in that one.

But instead, he was numb. He'd felt that way the entire time, from the moment Jiraiya told him who his dad was, through the stories of his dad's training, and the explanation of the technique that was being passed down to him from his dad through his dad's old teacher. He knew who his dad was, and why he of all people had been chosen to hold the kyuubi within him.

He knew.

"Why don't I really care?" he asked his dad's teacher. "I should be excited and happy and laughing, but all I feel is sorta empty. Am I a bad person for this?"

Jiraiya shook his head and put an arm around the kid's shoulders. "Nah," he said. "It's just shock, kid. And when a person gets shocked like this, it takes time for them to adjust to it. Just relax, take your time, and don't force yourself to think about it. Eventually the numbness goes away, and you'll be back to the awesome spastic kid you already were before, only now you'll also know who your parents are."

Naruto nodded mechanically.

"And I hate to say it," Jiraiya continued, "but for now, this would be best left as a secret. Minato made quite a lot of enemies in the past, and the Hokage kept this secret to prevent those enemies from coming after you until you were ready to protect yourself."

Naruto nodded again. It's not like he didn't already have one perception shattering secret inside of him. What would it matter if he had a second? Naruto took a deep breath and released it, then turned to give Jiraiya a small smile. "Thanks, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya reached out and ruffled the kid's hair. "Please, call me Pervy Sage."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry this took such a long time. Originally, I had planned to go more into detail on the training, and went over it several times, but ultimately, I couldn't make it interesting enough to justify individual chapters. Up next is an Omake that I have been sitting on for months, then on to the finals, I think.

Yes, Naruto will probably get the toad contract eventually, but honestly, I never understood why he would need it for the chunin exam were it not for Deus ex Gaara. I do not plan on doing the same thing, so I'm content to leave the contract be for now. Don't worry, it'll show up eventually.

Thanks, of course, to Heaven's Eagle for the beta work. I am still working on the update effort on older chapters, but it's a long haul and all. If you end up re-reading at some point, please note that the chapters capped with a line of **MMMMMMM** 's have been revisited. If you see an error there, please, feel free to tell me.

*looks at reviews* Holy hell. So, since last chapter, I gained four pages of reviews, which I greatly appreciate. However, with such numbers, I can't possibly touch on each individually without artificially inflating my word count through the roof. So if I did not directly comment on your review, thank you for your views and your ideas and opinions. Even when you disagree, I am grateful.

*looks at statistics* Bleedin' awesome for a Naruto fic that's barely 6 months old. Hey, for those of you who read these notes, if there's a TVTropes reader in the house, and if you enjoy my writing, please consider adding it to the Naruto Fanfic Rec page, probably under the For Want of a Nail section. The rules say I cannot recommend my own fic in some places, and that I can in others. In the end, I chose the option that makes me look a little less like an attention whore, and figured I'd ask one of you folks instead… thus negating my original intent... So… yeah! Pyrrhic victory! Share the love if you feel like it. Or not.

**Fic Recs:** I have two here that are more about interesting ideas than excellent beyond compare reads. **Beyond the Parahypogean** by **opens up 4 nobody**, as a study in story writing and working Naruto characters into a modern setting, it is quite interesting. Also interesting is **Re-Alignment** by **pointer39**. The writing is a little rough at times, but the interactions between the Sannin are generally well thought out. Again, interesting largely for concept nerds at this time, but that in itself is rare enough to deserve mention.

For a more complete read, I am currently enjoying **A Twist in Time** by **Wolf08**. Time travel fic, yeah, I know, but it focuses a lot on the mental aspects of it, and the time traveler is not grossly overpowered. It also has a bit of romance wedged in there, which is generally not my thing, but it has been well written so far and has not dominated the story.

Also good is **Naruto: The Secret Songs of the Ninja** by **Arcane Azmadi**. A very interesting read that runs with the premise: What if Sasuke died during the mission to the Wave? Well written, good characterization. But what really got me was the OC, which is a well rounded character with a genuine personality and reasonable strengths _and _weaknesses. Cannot recommend this enough, it's one of the few fics I have seen where I can honestly say it is at least as good, if not better, than my own. Go check it out. Go on. I'll still be here when you're done.

**Poisoned Wit **was slightly disappointed on the vanilla choice in trainers. I hope my treatment of Jiraiya has sent those concerns to rest.

**Tremblers** pointed out that I tend to focus on clan techniques for powerups. I actually disagree. Sasuke made an entirely new jutsu (plasma lance.) Sakura got a summoning contract that is not really affiliated with the canon setting all that much. Naruto got nothing but a devious mind and some swords that have yet to come into play. Yes, there is more clan help than in canon, but I believe it was presented in a reasonable way. Still, thanks for your view on the matter.

**Pensive Rumination Observer **pointed out a lot of errors in the earlier chapters. So did **Arcane Azmadi**.And of course, **Cute Kirby**. And **Charles Henri**. And **Calebkir** did it with a PM. Thanks for that, folks.

**Quinn1989** gave quite a christmas list for me to fill on power ups for Naruto. Out of the list, two make no sense in the context of my story, two are game breakers that may never appear at all, depending where this goes down the line, one is not happening in the given time restraint for practical reasons. But he is going to get a cool technique. So… uhhh, merry christmas I guess?

**Arcane Azmadi **also pointed out, correctly, that "teme" is not a suffix/honorific. I am aware of this, but included it because Naruto is literally making "Bastard" a part of Sasuke's name, but it looks awkward as hell written as one word, hence the hyphen. They also corrected a horrendous math error I made early on (I forgot, it's four team members AND Tazuna…)

**"KK" (Anon)** mentioned that I focus a lot on everyone but Naruto, and felt I was making Naruto far too unintelligent/"dumb." That was on their review chapter 13, the chapter where Zabuza only just finds out that the clones that were running him ragged were not Kakashi's, and one chapter after Naruto single-handedly prevented a event that disabled Kakashi in canon, and two chapters after Naruto does nothing in a fight because _he knows he doesn't have to, instead of jumping in for no damned reason and risking injury_. What an idiot, amiright?

Finally, I want to thank **Harlequin de Rustre** for equating the treatment to Neji in Chapter 17 to a high school bully fantasy, then going on to mention how that sort of thing might work in a manga, but never in writing. Apparently, the fact that I am _deliberately trying to match the tone of the manga, and have mentioned such repeatedly_, meant nothing. Apparently it also means nothing that _it's essentially what happened to him in canon, only more terrible and shaming because it was done in front of a massive crowd of rich customers and fellow ninja_. Still, nice to know that my "wish fulfilling" fic, while falling for "a significant pitfall once you get past the infancy stage," is apparently still good because "(I) am doing swimmingly besides that one boo-boo."

I have no objection to disagreement, debate, and criticism, as I like to think I have show in previous notes and PM'ed replies. But trying to put down a fellow writer by essentially calling their work garbage, but acceptable garbage, is not the way to do it.

For those of you who are somewhat lacking in social skills, such as 'Quinn here, I offer this advice, which will help you both here on Fanfiction and in the real world itself:

_If you cannot be civil, __do not speak._

_If you cannot make your point without equating your opposite to a child or an idiot, __do not speak._

_If you are not self aware enough to edit your own comments to at least keep your thin veneer of intellect and good intentions in place, __do not speak._

_Because every time you open your mouth under those conditions, you become less and less of a __human__, and become more and more a member of __Homo sapiens__. One of them is a person worth listening to because of their ability to interact with others of their kind in a manner that is insightful, thought provoking, or otherwise useful for social if not practical purposes. One of them is a primate that happens to have some advanced toolmaking skills and an incredible talent for pissing off the other primates in the cage with them.  
_


	33. OMAKE BREAK! Date night in Konohagakure!

**Pre-chapter Note:** This chapter is quite slow and certainly not action-packed by any measure, nor does it contain vital plot elements. It is also as close to "romance" as it's going to get. So if it's not your thing, no worries, it's only an omake. Skip it.

* * *

Shinobi rarely handle boredom well. They live a fast and dangerous lifestyle, and those that survive as long as Kakashi often became almost incapable of doing nothing. And Kakashi was terribly bored. His students were off doing their own training, aside from a few sessions with Sasuke, and as an active sensei with students in the finals, Kakashi could take no missions that left the city, because he theoretically would be teaching them during that time.

So Kakashi did what he could to amuse himself.

He snuck into Morino Ibiki's office in the T&amp;I building, and with the help of a pair of shadow clones, had glued the man's entire set of office furniture to the ceiling, down to the very last pen. And on the underside of the desk, now facing the ceiling, Kakashi planted a obviously fake explosive tag with the words "Minus Ten Points for Not Checking for Traps" scrawled across it. Anko had reported later that Ibiki had pulled the desk down, saw the note, and promptly broke the desk over his knee. She then recommended that Kakashi avoid the man for a few days, just to be safe.

He had snuck through the window of the Hokage's Office and slipped a sardine into the brim of the Hokage's official hat of office. The next day, Hiruzen had thanked Kakashi, commenting that he'd had the shortest and most productive council meeting in years, and then told him that if he ever did it again he would demote Kakashi to genin and put him on a team with one of his students as his sensei, there to do D-rank missions until Hiruzen got bored of the look on Kakashi's face when he assigned the missions.

He attached a carton of cigarettes to a fishing line and used them to lure Asuma into some bushes. The resulting picture of Asuma leaping at the quickly receding box like a madman was shown to Kurenai, who had come as close as Kakashi had ever seen to someone literally exploding in anger. When she dragged him along to confront Asuma about breaking his bet, Asuma had tried to explain. When that failed and Kurenai stormed off, he had sighed, accepted defeat, and opened the carton to at least have a smoke.

The explosion of spring-loaded paper snakes had been impressive, mostly because Kakashi had spent days making them and sealing them into the storage tag that he'd stuffed into the empty box. The force and mass of the snakes lifted Asuma off of his feet and left him prone under a pile of them nearly three feet deep. Asuma had let out a sigh of mild aggravation and stayed there, hoping Kakashi had gotten it out of his system. Then the camera clicked, and he was up and running.

After the resulting chase, which had involved no less than three broken carts, two broken windows, an entire wagon of cabbages, a trip to the hospital for minor burns, and a great deal of browbeating by the Hokage, which was only partially effective after Kakashi showed him the picture of his son under the pile, the two had shook hands and made up.

The next morning, Asuma opened his bedroom door to find his hallway filled with snakes.

Each snake had a tiny paper cigarette hanging out of its mouth.

Asuma did the only thing he could do. He threw someone else under the bus.

* * *

"You know, Guy still has not worn that spandex outfit like he promised. Why don't you go bother him today?"

* * *

Kakashi and Anko sat on a bench in the park. There were three disposable cameras, a box of wheat flakes, a plate of dango, and an escape plan between the two of them. It was going to be a good day.

Better than the one time with the noble in the bar who had listened to Kakashi's advice and grabbed Anko's butt.

Better than the one time Anko had henged into Kakashi, streaked through the women's side of an onsen, and then ran out just as the real Kakashi happened to be walking by.

Even better than the one time with the tube of toothpaste and the flammable oil, and that was hard to beat. Ebisu's hair was still patchy, even months later.

They looked so happy and amused that when Kurenai walked into the park, she decided something was going on that might be worth watching. She walked up to them, and they both waved cheerfully, Kakashi's jaw working furiously as he ate his flakes. "You still haven't seen how he does it, have you?" Kurenai asked, glaring at Kakashi's mask.

"Nope," said Anko cheerfully.

Kurenai shook her head and leaned down between them from behind the bench. "So," she asked quietly, "What's the occasion?"

Anko grinned. "Kakashi called in his marker on Guy today. Guy tried to welch on his bet, claiming it was a bad day for it, but Kakashi insisted."

Kurenai's face went even paler than normal, and she hung her head. "Of course he did." She let out a sigh and lifted her head to glare at Kakashi, her eyes ferocious. "You seriously need to tell us about this shit before you do it, Kakashi."

"Why?" he mumbled around his snack.

"Remember that civilian security guard from the preliminaries? The one I told you had a thing for Guy?"

Kakashi and Anko shared a look of concern, and Kakashi nodded.

Kurenai sighed and pointed towards the other end of the park, where Shimura Mioki was standing and looking around nervously. The woman had a black civilian styled dress on, and Kakashi could make out the occasional glint of light reflecting from her neck and ears, implying jewelry.

"I set her up for a date with Guy today..."

Kakashi froze.

".. and neither of them know it," Kurenai finished.

Anko started to choke on her dango, snorting heavily as she tried to inhale, eat, and laugh uproariously at the same time. Kakashi meanwhile turned his head away, and after a brief moment of spitting, turned back to face the two girls. "You did what?" he asked, shock evident in his voice.

Kurenai winced. "I… got the okay from the Hokage to set up a mission, to escort a woman around town and help her with whatever she needed. I paid for it out of pool we had going on when he would get a date, as everyone has lost the bet by now."

Anko coughed and let out a rough giggle. "Hokage-sama approved of this?"

Kurenai shook her head. "He very much disapproved… officially. Unofficially… he may have laughed a little."

Kakashi gave her a look.

"Fine, a lot. Not the point. I figured the meathead would probably never get around to having a relationship. He's a nice guy, I figured, what would be the harm? So I made a mission out of it, paid enough to request a specific shinobi of his level, and then left a note for Shimura-san indicating that he'd like to spend the day with her."

Kurenai looked at Kakashi, her voice pleading. "Tell me he wouldn't wear it around a customer. Please tell me your bet had a subclause to cover that."

Kakashi remained silent.

"... Damn."

Anko started to snort again, clasping her hands over her mouth and kicking her feet in an effort to restrain her own childlike mirth. Kakashi could not find it in himself to laugh, however. This was going to be a disaster. Guy, for all his good traits, had very little experience when it came to… well, anything not related to being a shinobi. And he was going to show up, in the outfit Kakashi had picked out for him, for a date he didn't even know was a date, with a civilian woman who didn't know it was not a date.

_This is going to be a disaster,_ he thought over and over, his mind gone numb.

Anko reached out to grab a spare disposable camera, turned, and snapped a picture of the two jonin next to her, the flash barely registering to them in their current state. She then cranked the little wheel to advance the film for the next picture and settled down to watch for Guy. "This is going to be great," she said gleefully as she reached for another stick of dango.

* * *

Mioki waited nervously by a statue of a turtle in the park, like the note had said.

It was all Kurenai's idea, of course. The two had struck a chord while watching the pink-haired girl's exam, and once the day was done, had invited her along to the bar where the jonin had retired to either celebrate their victory or drown their defeat. Still shocked by the close contact to the heroes of her generation, and by the apparent approval of the Hokage when he noticed her watching him steal the tape of the fight judging by the wink he gave her, she had accepted. And that night, she had learned an important lesson.

_Shinobi are people_.

In hindsight, it was a stupid lesson, which made it all the more meaningful when she realized it. For all their power and prestige and strength, each and every one of them was a person first and foremost. Hatake-san was polite but quiet, and spent most of the night watching others drink, throwing out the occasional barbed joke or amusing aside. Sarutobi-san, Kurenai's boyfriend, was a cheerful fellow with an easy smile, at least until Kakashi had snatched the cigarette from the bearded jonin's mouth and reminded him of the bet. And Maito-san was…

… Words always failed her at this point. Guy was definitely an odd person, there was no question. Nothing was done passively with him. Every drink became a drinking contest, every joke earned a deep laugh, every smile or comment earned a thumbs-up of approval. He was so earnest, so open, that he made the world around him a brighter place. It was so different from her own clan, which was so immersed in the shinobi lifestyle that no conversation between them could avoid hidden messages and secrets. It was refreshing to have such an honest person around, and she enjoyed his company most of all, and not just for the view.

Unfortunately, Kurenai had noticed this, and in the intervening weeks, whenever they met up for a drink or a meal, Guy always just happened to pass by, wherever they were, and what man could walk by a friend and not greet them? Mioki had feared her face might be permanently red, between his visitations and Kurenai's jokes afterwards.

Then, a note appeared on her door one morning.

Mioki did not see herself as a romantic woman. She lived in a clan that was not all that good at expressing those sorts of emotions, and worked a job that involved viewing some of the worst bits of humanity. Neither encouraged the sort of personality that reads romance novels and dreams of daring princes. But that note had been romance personified. It had been written in long, delicate cursive, as if each word was a work of art. It was eloquent, and warm, and in all the right places, possibly even hot. It had definitely not been stuffed into her sock drawer to be cherished and reread whenever the owner felt down. And it had asked for her to show up for a date, where anything she wanted could be hers.

It was too good to be true.

Mioki worked in Security. Things too good to be true usually weren't. She had taken the note to Kurenai, the only woman she knew who would probably only laugh a little at her predicament, and had the shinobi look it over. Kurenai shrugged and said, "Well, I've never know Guy to write a romantic love letter, but considering the effort he puts into everything else he does, I would not be surprised if this was the result."

It would not be until weeks later that Mioki realized she should have been _more_ suspicious at the casual dismissal of her concerns.

And now she was nervous, terribly nervous, because this was not her sort of thing. She understood the premise of dating and the like, and have even tried it a few times when she was younger. She quickly discovered that the world of dating was filled with rules that made no sense. Dress codes, behavior limitations, carefully constructed falsehoods to make your way past the first few dates so that maybe they won't dislike who you really are when they find out. Maybe she just wanted to wear a simple pants and shirt combo and go to a junk food place instead of some fancy restaurant for bozos with more money than taste in the somewhat fancy getup she wore to funerals because she had no reason in her day-to-day life to own a dress?

And here she was, in a borrowed dress, with borrowed makeup and borrowed jewelry and borrowed heels to match, waiting for a man to show up in the same sort of fake finery, doing the same song and dance she always swore she'd avoid. _This is going to be a disaster,_ she kept thinking to herself. Only the memory of a very nice view and Kurenai's word that he was a good guy to boot kept her from simply going home to some television and potato chips.

_I'm not that young. Maybe he's worth it. Must make a good impression!_

She looked around again, briefly spotting what might have been Kakashi's shock of gray hair down on the other end of the park, but when she turned to look the other way she immediately forgot everything else, because she saw Guy jogging down the path towards her. When he noticed her watching, he gave her a beaming grin and vanished, appearing before her in a blur, the air currents in his passing bringing with them a musky scent that Mioki tried dreadfully hard to ignore.

She gave him a bow, which he returned. Her eyes went down. Her eyes went up, right along with her blood pressure as her face began to turn beat red.

_He's wearing SPANDEX!_

There were no doubts about his manly attributes in her mind any more, because there was nowhere to hide those doubts in that suit. It was the same color as his normal suit, but instead of a comfortable and thick fabric, it was thin and delightfully (_shutup!_) clingy. Every muscle, every chiseled ab, every… lump… was defined perfectly under the skin-tight suit.

Mioki was caught between wanting to warn him how it looked, and keeping quiet so she could enjoy the view while it lasted.

Guy noticed her hesitation and gave her a big smile. "It is good to see you, Shimura-sama. I hope you are ready for an incredible day, seeing all the wonders of Konohagakure that you might desire. That is my only goal for the day! And if I fail, I shall do one thousand pushups on one arm in apology!" He gave her a Nice Guy Pose #22 With Manly Flex and Bishie Sparkle. Apparently he did well, because the client was speechless. The mission had been very clear. The client wanted the services of _the_ Maito Guy, and told him that his youthful personality was vital to the mission. It made little sense to him, but Guy was a shinobi, and even such a small thing could make or break a mission.

Hundreds of feet away, Anko aimed her camera carefully and cackled to herself as she snapped the picture. Kakashi and Kurenai at least had the dignity to look away.

It took Mioki a moment to realize that Guy was talking to her, and she blinked rapidly before giving him a slightly tremulous smile. "I am sorry, Maito-san, what did you say?"

Guy smiled. He was not unused to people being thrown off when he pulled out all of his youth for them. "I asked where you would like to go first, Shimura-san. My students have been given their own duties, so I am at your disposal, straight to tomorrow morning if need be!" He was slightly worried for the woman, truth be told, as she was showing some signs of overexertion. He skin was very red, and if he remembered right, it was usually a little paler.

"Right… right." She took a few quiet breaths and did her best not to look anywhere but into his eyes, his big, soulful ey- _Dammit! Focus!_ "I was thinking, maybe something to eat before we move on?" Surely that would be a safe move, with a nice, thick, completely opaque table between them to help her regain her composure.

"Of course, Shimura-san! What do you want to fill yourself with to fuel the rest of this youthful day?"

Hundreds of feet away, Kurenai began performing the Heimlich maneuver on Anko, who was unfortunate enough to have a mouth full of dango when she heard that line.

Mioki trembled slightly, but she managed to keep the smile on her face. _He… he can't be doing that by accident, surely,_ she thought. But he made no indication that he was joking, or even aware of what he had just said. He just stood there with the same air of complete innocence and exuberance he always had. Her mind occupied by her own jumbled thoughts, she said the first thing that came to mind.

"Your choice."

Guy's smile only grew bigger as he reached out for her hand. "I know just the place to give us all the energy we'll need today!" Mioki reached out and took his hand, and was surprised by two things. The first was that his hands were strong like she expected, but remarkably smooth and well-cared for, unlike the calloused roughness she had expected. The second was that the phrase "sweep her off her feet" was apparently not a euphemism, because the moment she took his hand, he swept her up into her arms and grinned.

"There is no time to waste on such a youthful day! Allow me to get us there at shinobi speeds, Shimura-san!"

* * *

Anko pulled herself up by the bench legs from where she had fallen over, between the choking and the laughter. "Come on," she gasped, grabbing Kakashi's shirt and pulling on him. "We are following this!"

Kakashi raised his hands. "Maah, maah, let them be, Anko. They're both so awkward at this. Let them suffer each other's company in peace."

Anko gave him a glare and punched him hard on the shoulder. "We're following them! I can't miss this, and it won't be the same without you there to suffer for it at the same time! It would be like dango without green tea! You're coming or I'll never speak to you again!" When Kakashi looked thoughtful at this, Anko smirked. "Note that I did not say you would never see me again," she said, a hint of menace creeping into her voice. "You'll see a lot of me. Especially in your apartment while you're trying to sleep. There still is a bounty in ANBU, you know."

Kakashi hung his head while Anko raised her arms and whooped in victory before leaping for the nearest building to follow the receding screams as Mioki experienced rooftop travel for the first time. Next to him, Kurenai chuckled. "Looks like Guy's not the only one getting his first date tonight," she said gleefully.

She was gone before Kakashi even managed to get the appropriate finger up.

* * *

Mioki was deeply regretting her words.

Guy had brought them to a small food stand, just a shop front with several stools along a bar, behind which the cook was making something in large bowls that had an incredibly strong smell wafting from them. The moment Guy had arrived, the chef had grunted, reached over to a nearby shelf, pulled down a large box of some sort of red powder, and started dumping it liberally into the bowl. The smell only intensified.

Guy put his fists on his hips and stood proudly before the stand, gazing at it lovingly. "This is Rhama's House of Curry, and whenever possible, I come here for my meals. Nothing makes you feel alive like Rhama's Curry!"

Mioki had expected that to be some sort of slogan, some sing-song chintzy advertisement, but of course, it was no such thing. Guy said it with simple honesty, as if it was some profound truth in life. Mioki leaned over to the counter and gave a short bow to the chef. The chef grunted and nodded his head, then poured more of the red powder into his bowl. Mioki stepped back a bit, put off by the cook's lack of social skills, just in time for Gai to sit on one of the stools.

The stool did some very interesting things to his posterior.

Mioki quickly took a seat before she could look any closer.

"One Embracing Rice Curry for me, Sal!"

Sal grunted, then glanced at Mioki, who was looking around desperately for some sort of menu. His stare was slightly upsetting. It was not aggressive, or even unpleasant. There was no emotional content whatsoever. He simply stared at her, as if he would continue to do so until she gave her order, even if she left and never returned. She wilted slightly under the man's gaze and said, "The same, please."

"YOSH!" Guy shouted, pumping his fist. "Not once has anyone partaken of the Embracing Curry, not even Kakashi! Even Lee turns away from it for now! Truly, you are a wondrous person, Shimura-san!"

She blushed slightly and started to thank him for the compliment, but Sal took that moment to drop two bowls on the counter and slide them over to the two visitors. Guy leaned over and took a deep breath, and Mioki decided to imitate him. Then she noticed that the moment her face was directly over the bowl her eyes began burning and decided to forgo that ritual. She turned and watched as Guy pulled a silver spoon out from his pouch and proceeded to scoop up a remarkably tiny amount of curry and delicately place it in his mouth.

Mioki watched as tears rolled down Guy's face, his jaws clenched tight, with a large and terribly incongruous smile on his face. His face slowly turned red and sweat beaded on his forehead before he finally managed to swallow.

Mioki made a face as she looked at her own dish, then at Guy when he held up the silver spoon. "The Embracing Curry is a thing of life," he said cheerfully, his breath washing over her and making her lips tingle by the barest hint of spice on it. "When you eat it, you cannot deny that you are alive! Each searing moment reminds you that you will soon have a cooling drink to ease the pain! That is how one makes it through dark times with one's youth intact!"

Mioki reached out a trembling hand and took the spoon from Guy, who nodded encouragingly, a warm spark in his eyes. She tipped her bowl slightly, causing the thick sauce and rice within to let out an unappetizing 'blorp' as it resettled, and dipped the very tip of the spoon into the curry. She looked at it tentatively, and for a moment, she swore she saw it trying to crawl up the spoon.

_You never know until you try,_ she lied to herself, before raising the spoon to her face and giving it a single tentative lick.

She had to admit, after she finished drinking as much water as she could hold and running in a circle a few times screaming in terror as she suffered the disturbing if thankfully illusionary sensation of the curry melting her face off, the stuff really was quite good, and it certainly made her feel alive when the burning was replaced by pained numbness. And it didn't hurt that during her panicked drinking and running, Guy had cheered her on with just as much honest enthusiasm and good will that he'd shown for everything else.

* * *

Across the street, perched on the roof of a bakery, Kakashi gaped at the scene below.

The civilian had tasted the Curry of Death.

The _civilian_ had tasted the _Curry of Death_.

Kakashi would not do it. Lee would not do it. Every member of ANBU that Kakashi had ever known had flat out refused to do it without a direct order from the Hokage himself. They had managed to secure a written promise that he would _never _do it again, which Hiruzen had quite readily signed after what happened to Gator, the shinobi who took one for the team when the Hokage had caught wind of a plot to poison the jonin of the village and decided to have them taste test their food.

Poor man was three days from retiring too.

_Nobody _but Guy ever tasted the Curry of Death.

Kakashi hid his eyes, unable to watch, but a sick fascination caused him to ask Anko, who was sitting next to him with her binoculars up and camera in hand, "What… what's happening now?"

Anko pulled down the binoculars and leaned back, a look of genuine concern on her face.

"She's giving it another taste…"

* * *

"Yosh," said Guy as they left the Curry stand, "truly that was a sight to behold! I am deeply enthused to meet another person who ate of the Embracing Curry!"

Mioki flushed slightly, partially under the praise, and partially under the effects of the curry. "It was only a single spoonful," she mumbled.

Guy nodded and gave her a thumbs up. "That is one more spoonful than anyone else I have ever met, and only one spoonful less than my record!" He looked around the area, arms on hips. "We have prepared for the day, Shimura-san! What shall we do with each other now?"

Mioki very carefully ignored the sound of laughter she thought she heard from somewhere across the street and smiled. "I don't know. I don't usually get a chance to do this. I think tradition dictates that we go see a movie or something like that."

"Right," Guy said, grasping her arm.

"No, wait, let's wallllllllllllll-"

* * *

Mioki patted her hair back into place and tried to stay upright despite her wobbling knees. She blinked a few times, willing her vision to stop wavering, and tried to read the titles that were being shown that day. Unknown to her, across the street and sitting quietly at a streetwalk cafe and under a henge, Kakashi and Anko were placing bets on what movie the odd couple would see.

"We could go see 'Dozen Things I Mildly Dislike About You', Maito-san. I hear it's had great reviews, really quite romantic." _Oh goody,_ she thought to herself. She was not a fan of the genre. Her life was full of enough social awkwardness and thorny problems with prickly people. Watching someone do a very good job of being painfully human was not the way she wanted to spend the day, but it was a _date_. There were _rules_. She glanced at Guy, whose smile had taken an odd, almost wooden cast as he nodded in agreement without saying a word, and she blinked. _He's a male who apparently lives his life in exercise clothing and who makes everything a challenge for himself. Why the _hell _would he want to see that shit? Why would _I _want to see it?_

_Screw this!_

She scanned the board again, and then she saw it. She knew she didn't even need to ask, but she did anyhow.

"Would you rather see the new Robert Lee movie? I read that they spent more than a million ryo on explosions alone."

It was like watching a kid open a holiday gift and getting something even better than they had asked for. _A big, muscular kid with huge eyebrows,_ she thought as he stepped up to the ticket counter with a big grin on his face, _but the metaphor still works_. It didn't hurt that she was grinning along with him. It's not like she hadn't planned on seeing it anyhow…

And across the street, Kakashi collected from Anko with a big, cheerful smile clearly visible even through his mask.

* * *

Guy and Mioki walked out of the theater laughing.

Mioki had expected Guy to be deeply entrenched in the action-packed martial arts film, and had been pleasantly surprised when he leaned in to talk with her instead. They had discussed the classic movies and more recent works of Robert Lee, wire fighting techniques and special effects. At one point, Guy had scoffed at a particular move, and had described watching a genin try to do the same move during an exam, ultimately dislocating his hip and disqualifying his team. Mioki had laughed and told him about a coworker who thought he could punch through a door, and about how the door won.

Guy told her about the first time he punched a tree, and how long he was in the hospital.

Mioki told him about the time a coworker challenged her to a fight, and about the picture of him crying in the grip of her armbar that graced her desk to this day.

By the end of the movie, she had no idea what the plot was about. She didn't care, and it looked like he didn't either.

"So, where to next?" she asked cheerfully, looking around. The air was beginning to cool slightly, the shadows growing as sunset approached. "You've let me pick last, now you pick. Whatever it is you really want to do, let's go do it." She blushed slightly when she thought she heard the laughter again, but she clenched her fists and willed herself to relax.

Guy paused for a second, glancing at his feet with his chin in his hand, before he smiled and smacked that hand into the other. "I know just the place, the best place in Konohagakure for this time of day, a place everyone should see but few ever visit! Come with me!" He reached for her arm, than stopped, suddenly remembering how she had reacted the last few times, before offering the crook of his arm instead.

Mioki took a step forward then stumbled painfully, crashing into him and grabbing his arm for support. "Hold on a second," she said, "or I'm going to kill myself with these." She hobbled over to a trash can and raised her foot to slip off one of her borrowed heels. She inspected it carefully, then smacked it over the rim of the can a few times until the heel fell off before slipping it back on and testing it. She then grunted and removed both shoes before tossing them in the garbage. As it turned out, removing the heel did not make the shoe serviceable. _Impractical garbage._

_Serves her right, _she thought with a touch of unkind but heartfelt glee, _she's the one who talked me into wearing them..._

* * *

Standing in the Hokage's office discussing some of the training techniques she and Kakashi had been designing, right in front of Hiruzen and a few fellow jonin, Kurenai sneezed suddenly and loudly, depositing a large and unsightly glob on the paper she was holding and drawing every eye in the room to it.

* * *

Mioki sighed while stretching her feet on the pavement, happy to be rid of the damned shoes. She turned back to Guy, only to see him squatting awkwardly with his back to her. Had it been anyone else, she might have been confused or worried, but this was Guy. She was sure it would make sense, at least for him. "What are you doing," she asked with an amused smile.

"You have no shoes, and you're on a public road," he replied in the same earnest voice as always while he shuffled slightly. "Even a well maintained road can have all sorts of sharp objects. I will carry you the rest of the day. To do anything less would be unyouthful!"

A little part of her wanted to argue that it was very undignified. Another part of her admitted that he had a point, and unless she wanted a tetanus shot tomorrow, she should go along with it. A third and much larger part of her really wanted to piggyback on a shinobi, if only to be able to tell her coworkers about it later. She took a step forward, then looked down at where her borrowed dress was hemmed, binding her knees and upper legs together. "Okay," she said cheerfully, "but I need to borrow a kunai first…"

* * *

In the Hokage's office, sitting in the back with her face still blazing red with embarrassment, Kurenai sneezed again and was mortified when Choza Akimichi distractedly reached up behind his head and _put his hand in it…_

* * *

After a few moments of thought and a couple ripping noises, Mioki shook her legs and inspected the slits she had made. _Yeah, I'll have to replace the dress, but to hell with it._ She then turned back to Guy and hopped onto his back. In a moment of weakness, high on the pleasure of getting rid of those damned shoes, Mioki stuck her arm out as if wielding a saber in her hand and loudly shouted, "Tally ho!"

She immediately blushed and started to stammer an apology.

Then Guy gave an amused snort that seemed awfully horse-like to her ears and took off running.

Standing on the roof of the movie theater, Anko squatted down and wiggled her back end, her trench coat flapping out as if it was a set of long but dull plumage. "Come, my beautiful Kakashi-san! I can't have you bruise your delicate feet! Mount me!"

Kakashi laughed. That didn't stop him from giving her a friendly nudge off of the roof, but he did laugh.

* * *

Mioki was quite impressed.

Guy had run all the way to the other end of town and up a long series of stairs set into the cliff to bring them out on the mountain above the Hokage Monument, just as the sun began to set. Mioki was not inclined to stare at the wonder of nature in all of its glory, but she could definitely appreciate the view of her home city, shining in the warm orange light as the last of the day passed by.

"This is the end of my route each day when I am training," Guy said. He was not shouting, nor was he being particularly boisterous. In truth, when Mioki turned to look at him, he was looking down into the city, his eyes shimmering, and he spoke with pride in his voice. "Here, I can look down on my home and all of its people, and remind myself why I do my duty."

_That's so…_

"It also gets a very nice breeze most of the time, which is a blessing after a long day of exercise."

_... Never mind._

The spell broken, Mioki smiled and turned back to watching the sunlight fade from Konohagakure. _Romance is overrated anyhow._

* * *

Mioki was given the choice of dinner, and they gravitated to a ramen stand near her home. She wasn't sure why the owner was giving Guy such an odd look, but he was friendly enough to her, and once they ordered, he set to work with his customary efficiency.

"You know," Mioki said cheerfully, "I almost walked away from this today."

Guy looked at her, slightly befuddled.

She reached out and patted his hand. "Really. I was worried about how you'd react, and how you would act. I thought you were going to show up in a suit and act all…" she waved her hands about slightly. "Not like yourself. I actually wore this stupid dress because I thought I should do the same thing, as if it was important." She smiled at him. "Thanks for not being a faker. This is the best time I've had in ages."

Guy nodded cheerfully. "Happy to, Shimura-san. Always happy to do my duty to the customer's satisfaction."

The ramen man dropped off their order, giving Mioki enough time to work through her shock. "The customer?" she asked.

Guy nodded and dug into his ramen. "Yes," he replied in the same dreadfully earnest voice. "I was a little surprised at how much you paid Hokage-sama for me to show you around town, and even more so that you asked for me by name, but who better to give such a youthful view of our city than Konohagakure's Wild Green Beast?"

Mioki mechanically picked at her meal with her chopsticks, at a loss for words. _It really was an act,_ she thought. _The whole thing was a show. He was just playing himself up. No wonder he was being so oddly formal when he addressed me. Wait…_ "Maito-san, do you have a copy of your orders?"

Guy nodded and reached into his pouch, then handed over a small copy of his mission contract. Mioki opened the scroll and started reading rapidly, her eyes scanning the details before being inevitably drawn to the space where the person who had requested the contract had signed their name.

"I'm going to kill her," she said, dropping the scroll and picking up her chopsticks. She stuffed some of the ramen into her face and chomped heavily on it, swallowing a large mouthful. "I'm going to kill her," she said again. She turned and looked at the owner of the stand, smiling and saying, "Hey, Teuchi-san, the ramen is really good today." She ate another angry mouthful and swallowed. "I'm going to kill her."

Guy leaned forward, slightly concerned. Mioki did not strike him as an aggressive person, and yet despite her lack of shinobi training, he could feel a little killing intent coming off of her. "What is wrong, Shimura-san?"

Mioki put down her chopsticks and grunted. "Can I call you Guy, Maito-san?"

He nodded, scooping some ramen into his own mouth. Some customers preferred to use his first name, it was hardly a problem.

"This was presented to me as a date," she said, tapping her fingers on the counter in a rhythmic manner. "I didn't hire you, which you'd see if you check the appropriate spot on the contract. Kurenai did. So I am going to quietly eat my meal, go home, and get some rest, so tomorrow I can wake up bright and fresh and figure out how to kill a jonin. Preferably painfully."

Guy had paused, noodles still hanging out of his mouth and his brow furrowed. Mioki figured he was processing the idea that she was threatening to kill a colleague, which was certainly a crime. He'd probably have to report this to the Hokage, so Mioki would have to work fast if she…

Noodles _still _hanging out of his mouth, a look of confused shock on his face, Guy straightened up on his stool and mumbled, "This was a date?"

* * *

"It's not funny, Anko," Kakashi said.

"C'mon, why not?" Anko was grinning like crazy. Her pockets were full of cameras ready to be processed, and when she was done, the pictures were going to be _everywhere_.

"Because Shimura-san is angry at a shinobi she knows is part of our social group."

Anko shrugged.

"And Shimura-san is in the civilian security service."

Anko made a rather rude dismissive noise.

"The service with all of the security cameras."

Anko's grin froze as she began to catch on.

"That probably recorded us watching her all day during this farce."

The grin dropped slightly.

"And you forgot she was promoted because she actually noticed the Hokage stealing the tape from Haruno Sakura's preliminary match, so she's actually in charge of those cameras."

Anko frowned slightly.

"And she has the power to invoke fines for petty crime, like threatening civilians with death when they anger you at the bars you frequent, a minor technicality previously overlooked by her understanding predecessor."

Anko's frown dropped even lower.

"And she is a distant relation to Danzo-sama."

Anko looked horrified.

And while she was frozen with that thought, Kakashi calmly pulled one edge of his mask down to reveal slightly more of his face than usual, leaned in close to her, and held out the camera in front of them. The click of the shutter was deafening in the silence.

Shinobi rarely handle boredom well.

* * *

It was a somber walk back to Mioki's house.

He had offered to carry her the rest of the way. She had quietly insisted that she could walk. Viewed through the lens of a shinobi doing his sworn duty to serve a customer, a lot of what had happened was a great deal less amusing to her. _I rode him like a draft animal!_ That was one story that was definitely not making the rounds now.

When they arrived, she turned to say goodnight and saw Guy standing awkwardly, shuffling his feet and looking at the ground. She let out a sigh and smiled a little. _Maybe he was being himself. Kami knows he seems to have no talent for hiding his feelings._

"You really didn't know what was happening, did you?"

Guy shook his head.

"How much of this was an act?" Mioki asked.

Guy gave her a weak smile. "The instructions did say to be myself, Shimura-san. Sorry about that." His voice descended into a mumble. "Not exactly classy of me."

Mioki nodded to herself, then leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. She pulled back and gave him a smile, even if it was smaller than before. "Maybe we can try this again, without the mission? And when we do, we'll both be ourselves again. It seemed to work out best that way, yeah?"

Guy's look of surprise quickly turned into a smile, and like magic, Guy came to life. He stood up straight and gave her the big guns, the Maito Guy Special #1 Pose with Bishie Sparkle, Tooth Bling, and Crashing Waves on Backdrop with Stirring Musical Score and Background Choir Singing His Theme for Dramatic Accompaniment.

Stumbling back under the force of his pose, Mioki smiled and assumed the answer was a yes.

* * *

In the bushes, Anko smacked Kakashi in the back of the head. "Dammit, Kakashi, why did you used the last piece of film!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** The punchline I originally had planned did not work out, so this chapter is not as gutwrenchingly amusing as I had hoped. Hopefully you got a giggle or two. On the plus side, the setup for a future omake is going to pay off so good now. It has something to do with that last picture...

Next chapter, Team Seven returns home, the Kazekage arrives for the beginning of the finals, and I take the rails that are made of canon and snap them over my knee like they were kindling.

Updates will probably be biweekly at best in the future. Short version: Pills working out great, less desperate to stay awake, so less writing. Sorry, but not too sorry.

I was glad to note that the whole Sasuke Hive thing was quite contentious, in a polite sort of way (thanks for the polite bit, by the way.) For those who bother to read these, my reasoning was that certain clans, those who seem to have less of a noble bent, would probably be less resistant to the idea of teaching outsiders when there is benefit for all. Just as Sakura was accepted for her skill and effort in improving Kiba's technique, Sasuke was accepted for the opportunity to observe and study a rare occurrence, that of a hive being implanted into someone not genetically predisposed for one.

I was also glad to note that the reaction to my version of Jiraiya was quite well received. I did a lot of research (no pun intended) on his earlier appearances before writing that piece, and in doing so, I felt he got way too little respect or credit from those around him, and he was pushing the pervert angle REALLY hard. Almost too hard (stop snickering!)

Oh.. and for those of you wondering, don't worry, Kurama will come up in the near future. And if you liked my version of Jiraiya, I suspect you'll like him too.

Thanks to an Anon going by **BoredMan**, OEFOW now has an entry in the Naruto Fic Rec section on TVTropes. Thanks, (presumed) man! I am currently working on the Tropes page, but if you're a troper and one stands out in your mind, feel free to stop by and add it if you like.

Thanks to **Pom Rania** for the beta read. I greatly appreciate it. Pom actually deluged the story with reviews, and many of the pointed out small yet painful errors. I am, as always, grateful.

**depressedchildren **mentioned disappointment that more detail was not put into Sakura's hard work and suffering while climbing the mountain. I reviewed and agreed, so I added a little more detail. Thanks.

**KasonSama **asked how Sasuke's hive might mix with the Chidori. It will come up, and it will be plot relevant… well, unless the story doesn't work out as planned, but that one I am fairly certain will make it.

An anon going by **Human** pointed out a mild problem with Hinata's injury and how it would work, so I updated that section to match the medical data. Thanks!

**AlexDnD**, during one of his many reviews (thanks for that) mentioned that Hiruzen should have known more about seals when it came to Sasuke. I point out that the seal is an unknown, unlike in canon where it matched Anko's known seal, and even in canon, Kakashi (student of Minato) is the one to place the counter seal. Also, Hiruzen is depicted as a fairly good leader, and a good leader knows how to delegate. Even if he knew more than they did, it's good to get confirmation to double check your own understanding.

An **Anon **(no pseudonym) mentions that the Uchiha would know about cats, having a clan of nin-neko at their beck and call. In my research, I found nothing that indicated they were linked on any level other than social, although I am willing to be wrong if the show gave detail I could not find. But either way, filler, so ehhhh, I decided to meet it half way. The previous connection with the Uchiha may come up eventually.

**Mika the Raven** mentioned me in a favorable light alongside the likes of Kenchi618. Thank you for that, as I enjoy some of their works a great deal.

**Aki no hikari** pointed out one of the most painfully stupid errors I have ever made. I STILL have Kieri's name messed up in some chapters. *facepalm* Well, working on weeding them out. Thanks for that!

**narutopsykoz** argues that in the Shino vs Sakura fight, he should never have left the arena, because it would make no sense for him to pursue her. In a normal defensive mission, I would agree fully, but during an exam where your only goal is to beat your foe, backing out or refusing to push forward just because your opponent did something unexpected is a fast ticket to a lifetime of d-ranks. I also point out, he did at least get confirmation from the Hokage before moving on, which is a mark in his favor.

An anon going by **Littleditto **mentioned I called the owner of Tora "Madamu Shijimi." That was, in truth, an error. When I looked her up to check the name, I did not read the english version too closely, and did not realize that was a translation of a title instead of a name. I may go back and change it later.

Finally, thanks to **Cute Kirby** for pointing out that at least I have not fallen victim to Godwin's Law. Those of you not in the know, this is a great opportunity to check out the TVTropes website. Seriously. Every writer and possibly every reader should know the site. And yeah, last chapter was indeed rather uneventful, as was this one, but that's ok, next chapter is going to be plenty eventful.


	34. He Arrives! A Meeting of Kage!

Sasuke hummed to himself and tapped his foot impatiently on the dirt road just outside the gates of Konohagakure. It had been a long month for the dark haired genin, one with little rest. His hive had managed to grow to a degree where he could start to work with it after a couple weeks, a fact that greatly pleased Tobo, who had expected Sasuke to take it a little easier.

Sasuke had not mentioned to the excited Aburame that he'd passed out more than a few times, especially when when they started making exit ports. The only person who knew about that was Kakashi, and he'd promised not to tell anyone. The fact that he was grinning when he made that promise was slightly disturbing, but Kakashi had been in an oddly good mood after the first week, so Sasuke brushed it off for now.

At least now, Sasuke understood why the Aburame tended to wear heavy clothing in all weather. After the first few exit ports had been made, Sasuke had discovered that, as anyone could have mentioned, having holes in your skin can be slightly unsanitary, and the kikaichu could only do so much to keep them clean. After the first infection had cost him a full day of training, Sasuke had gone to Shino and Shibi to find a solution. He had tried some of the Aburame's usual fashions and quickly discovered that the bulky clothing interfered with his own speed and fighting style too much to be practical. The end result was a single durable sleeve that he strapped on under his regular short sleeved attire, made of a durable material and with a sleeve wide enough to permit his allies to enter and exit freely. Sasuke had not cared that much for it until Kakashi had helped him modify it to conceal a few of his tools for easy access.

Between the hive, the technique Kakashi had trained him in, and the tactic he'd figured out with those new tools, Sasuke was feeling good about his odds on the next day. But Kakashi had warned him to take the last couple days off to ensure he was well rested, and Sasuke found that he had little patience for sitting around doing nothing any more.

_The blond dobe must be rubbing off on me_.

With little else to do, Sasuke found himself gravitating to the main gate, waiting somewhat impatiently for that same dobe to appear. He had yet to hear from Naruto or Sakura, and while Sakura could show up almost any time when she got summoned back, Naruto had to walk in at some point, and Sasuke found himself looking forward to seeing the loudmouth, as obnoxious as he usually was.

_Where the hell is he?_

The gates had been busy over the last couple days, with a steady stream of merchants and nobles streaming into the village for the finals. He had gotten more that a few nods and waves, which he found slightly disturbing at first. Everything from this exam until now had been a private affair for the village, so how did all of these people know who he was?

It was only after he stopped a waving merchant and asked about it that he discovered what had happened, and he had to admit, the Hokage had done something unprecedented. After the video of Sakura's match had proven to be very popular amongst his own shinobi, Hiruzen had collected the tapes of each finalists' fights and started sending copies to many of the more prominent people of the world. Every Daimyo got a copy, as well as every kage, and in little time, those copies began to spread.

In the past, the finals had been the only place to see any fights, and visitors would bet based on silly things like what family someone came from, or who looked the most intimidating. By releasing those tapes, Hiruzen had given prospective gamblers a preview of every finalist's capabilities, and in doing so, gave them something to analyze and argue over. The taverns and bars of Konohagakure had been buzzing for the whole month, and based off of those Sasuke listened to as they entered the village, the same had been true almost everywhere.

Kakashi had mentioned that Team Seven was favored for each of their matches, along with Gaara and Hinata, although betting for that last match was much smaller because Neji had received a pass for his preliminary match, leaving him an unknown.

Sasuke stamped his foot again and huffed.

In doing so, he apparently caught the attention of another person entering the area, a unusually tall man with a mane of white hair and some sort of odd forehead protector, who was walking towards Sasuke with long, purposeful strides.

"Uchiha Sasuke, right?" he asked as he walked close. Sasuke grunted, and the big man busted out laughing, a loud and merry laugh that echoed from the buildings around him. "Wow," he said, wiping a tear out of his eye, "The little gaki has your number, all right. If you're looking for Naruto, he's probably at that ramen stand of his. Last I saw him was a few minutes ago, when I told him to sneak in without being recognized." He let out another laugh and shook his head as Sasuke groaned and turned away to head for the ramen stand. _Gaki must have done well, if his own teammate didn't notice him_.

* * *

Naruto barely looked up when he heard Sasuke grunt from just beyond the flaps that separated the food stand counter from the outside. He just chuckled to himself and had another bite of blessed ramen. When Sasuke still did not enter after the bowl was done, Naruto rolled his eyes and called out. "I know you're out there, teme! Come have a bowl with your teammate!"

Sasuke let out a small laugh and pulled back the flaps to see Naruto for the first time in a month. The orange prankster looked just the same as every, same eyesore of a jumpsuit, with his two swords across his back and the same stupid, cheerful grin. Sasuke sat down with a smile. "I see you haven't changed a bit, Naruto. Still loud, still orange, still way too cheerful."

Naruto grinned and held out a hand to Teuchi for another bowl. "I see you haven't changed a bit, Sasuke. Still grumpy, still brooding, same duck butt haircut."

They both laughed quietly, and though they would never know it, they both relaxed, happy to be in each other's presence again, annoying as the other person was. Sasuke raised his hand to get Teuchi's attention, drawing Naruto's attention as the sleeve slipped back slightly to reveal one of the portholes just past Sasuke's wrist.

"Ehh, teme, what's with your arm?"

Sasuke smirked at Naruto and pulled his sleeve back down. "That's for me to know and you to get your ass kicked with, dobe. Make it through the other matches and you'll see."

Naruto smirked. "You're on, Teme."

They both dug into their food, and for just a little while, all was right with the world.

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage, was at the gate at sunset, ready to meet with his most honored guests. He watched them approach with some small trepidation. He had only received notice a mere day ago that amongst his expected visitors he would have two prominent members of the shinobi world.

The Kazekage, leader of Sunagakure and an ally by treaty, had insisted that he would come to this match to observed how Gaara did in his matches. The fact that the man made no mention in his message of Kankuro did not escape Hiruzen's notice, and the old man wondered what was so important about the young and bloodthirsty genin that required the Kazekage's presence.

But the real concern was the second message he had received, from the newly installed leader of Otogakure. That village had only become established a year ago, at least in any official capacity, and was now recognized by the leadership of the Land of Rice Fields where it was based out of. Because of their new status, Otogakure was capable of entering into the Chunin Exam system, and had done so, but none of their contestants had reached the finals. None the less, a messenger had arrived to request an invitation for their leader to visit for the exams, and Hiruzen had given that request. It would be an excellent chance to meet their leader, if nothing else.

Thus, Hiruzen found himself in his official regalia, waiting patiently at the main gate for the Kage and their entourage to arrive. He had expected a show of arms, some elaborate escort, so when they became visible on the road, Hiruzen was surprised to see that there were only six figures approaching.

Kazekage Rasa trudged along the road at an even pace, his face a picture of mild disapproval. Hiruzen knew the man from previous exams, and the look suited his dour personality quite well. He was a polite man, unfailingly so, but he was not a friendly man. The desert of his homeland had long since worn away all but the most necessary of pleasantries. He had no escort, save for the single Suna team that had reached the preliminaries.

The girl, Temari, looked deeply unhappy, possibly because she was carrying a rather large backpack, as well as the puppet of her teammate. Baki, their sensei, was hanging back slightly, and Hiruzen was amused to see that when the girl wasn't looking in her teacher's direction, the man seemed to be smiling proudly at her. _I guess she has done well in handling her punishments_, thought Hiruzen, genuinely glad for that. They may some day be foes, if things went poorly in the future, but it was always a pleasure to see someone overcome the difficulties of becoming a better person, and Hiruzen wished her well in that.

The puppet user, Kankuro, seemed to be in high spirits, occasionally speaking to Baki or Temari. He wore a huge grin on his face, and walked tall and proud. The only time he faltered was when he turned to say something to Gaara, who only glared at his teammate until the older boy turned away.

Disturbingly, the leader of Otogakure walked alone. They wore the same sort of official outfit as Hiruzen and Rasa, a long white robe and a large hat with a long swath of fabric to cover all but the front of the person's face, but without a Kage symbol. But Hiruzen's mental alarms were beginning to ring, because not only did the person not acknowledge his traveling companions, they had their hat pulled down on their brow, concealing his face as they approached.

Eventually the party arrived, with both of the visiting leaders standing before Hiruzen. He gave them a short and polite bow, one equal to another, and smiled. "It is a pleasure to have not just an honored Kage visiting our village, but also an esteemed leader from another village." Both Rasa and the other leader returned the bow.

"It is a pleasure to see your village again, Hokage. It has been a long time, and I greatly look forward to taking advantage of the amenities here." Rasa was not smiling as he said this, and Hiruzen did not blame him. Sunagakure had fallen on hard times after the last great war, and while they did not suffer from starvation or disease, life in that village had become a great deal leaner and had a lot less luxury than before. It was a credit to Rasa that he had no more luxury than his people, and bore that lifestyle with a quiet pride and determination that Hiruzen could respect. Saying what he had to be polite was a bitter pill to swallow, but Rasa did it anyhow.

Hiruzen nodded and mentally decided to see if he could spare enough resources this year to try and help their loose allies without harming his own people. He then turned and gave a second bow to the Otogakure leader. "I congratulate your success in establishing a new Hidden Village. To do so successfully, you must have an excellent understanding of politics in the shinobi world." He straightened from his bow, then took a step back when the man started to laugh.

The laughter was terribly familiar, and Hiruzen was already making the hand signs to summon Enma before the man raised his hands, palms outward in a placating gesture. The man slowly reached up and slid off his hat, revealing the same cold eyes and charming smile Hiruzen had last seen years ago, when the man had fled Konohagakure after Hiruzen had discovered the depths of his sin.

"Thank you… sensei," said Orochimaru, letting out another chuckle.

Several members of ANBU landed next to Hiruzen, and one began to move forward, when the Hokage held out his arm and stopped the attack. He stared at Orochimaru sternly, than grunted. With casual disinterest written on his face, he slowly pulled out his pipe, tamping it down and lighting it with a small burst of chakra. He took a deep draw, then let it out slowly with a grunt.

"You're still a wanted man," Hiruzen finally said, staring at his former student.

Orochimaru shrugged easily, and his grin stretched even further. "That may be, Sarutobi-san, but I am also a Leader of a Hidden Village, legally ratified by the nation I am based in, and I have come here under a banner of peace and with no escort. To react to such trust with violence and threats…" Orochimaru let out a chuckle.

Hiruzen did not laugh back. "You have also violated the Chunin exams by entering the field during the exam, as well as harming one of our contestants."

Orochimaru gave a wry grin and shrugged again. "I am sure I don't know what you're talking about, but with something that important, I am certain you announced it then and there... if it were true. Surely the honorable Hokage would not try to trump up some baseless accusation in an attempt to turn away an honored guest?"

Hiruzen grunted. _Trust the snake to do something like this_. Hiruzen hated to admit it, but Orochimaru was right. If Hiruzen attacked Orochimaru without serious provocation or definitive proof of wrongdoing, it would set a precedent that could well shatter their world. No shinobi would break a peaceful negotiation on a whim, not at this level, because if they did, there would be no end to it. All trust would be broken, and without trust, there would be no alternative but war, unending and unstoppable. The fact that Orochimaru would think nothing of breaking the very unspoken rule he was using to gain entry was galling, but that was the Hokage's problem, not his.

Hiruzen let out a dark chuckle and nodded his head once, and the ANBU members, both visible and hidden, relaxed slightly. "Your point is made, Orochimaru. You are, of course, welcome here for the exam's duration. But I find your lack of protection disturbing. If you were to die in our village, it would be a terrible thing… politically. Please, let me permit some of my ANBU to guard you during your stay, to set both our minds at ease."

The subtext was painfully obvious. Any ANBU "bodyguards" that Orochimaru got would be nothing more that overt spies, meant to keep an eye on the snake to ensure he caused no trouble. Hiruzen expected Orochimaru to object or try to dodge the offer, but to his surprise, Orochimaru merely bowed, his smile never leaving his face. "I would be honored, Hokage-san. I will accept whatever watchers you choose to assign to me… officially or otherwise."

Hiruzen nodded, message given and received, and turned slightly to one side, holding his arm out. "Please, join me in my office, Kazekage, Orochimaru. We also have some additional unreleased footage from the preliminaries you may be interested in seeing, and as the Orochimaru can attest, my tea is beyond compare." Both Kage nodded in agreement, and Hiruzen lead them into his village.

Hiruzen was careful to never show his back to Orochimaru.

Oddly, Orochimaru seemed to oblige, even moving into view a few times when Hiruzen was obligated to turn away from him to take to Rasa. And he never got within striking distance of his old teacher. Hiruzen had expected his former student to do the opposite, to try and get behind the older man, if only to vex his efforts at keeping him in sight. _Since when has Orochimaru cared about what I want?_

* * *

Sasuke grumbled to himself on the way home, although it was a cheerful grumble at the least. Naruto had been as infuriating as ever, but it was good to see him all the same. The dobe was loud and annoying, but then again, he was also unabashedly open with his feelings in a manner that many, including Sasuke, found disarming.

That's not to say Sasuke regretted putting the dobe into a headlock earlier.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a faint sound coming from up the street, which was quite annoying, as it came from his home, a small property just inside his family's lands, a place that nobody entered either from respect or superstition.

Sasuke's eyes turned crimson, and he started running as hard as he could for his quarters. He turned the street corner and saw his door propped open, with several pieces of his furniture scattered haphazardly outside, including his television, and several large plastic bags. Without a thought, he vaulted his couch and dashed through the open door, his arm raised and crackling with electricity.

He then threw himself aside, neatly stumbling into a wall and grounding his attack into the floor before fetching up in the corner, upside down and staring at Sakura. The girl was wearing a handkerchief over her forehead, was carrying a garbage bag in her arms, and had a most terribly cheerful and ego crushing smirk on her face.

"Is this some new greeting we're using in team seven now? I don't have any sparkly energy attacks, but I could just punch you instead." Sakura was smirking down at him, and after a moment, Sasuke let out an amused grunt and started pulling himself up.

She grabbed his arm to help him up, then stopped. She could feel something under his sleeve, some strange and somewhat lumpy piece of tissue, like a scar. "Have you been okay," she said, looking closely at him. She half wondered if he'd hurt himself learning that lightning move he had tried to do, but when Sasuke saw her inspecting him, he smiled slightly.

"Just fine, aside from someone breaking into my house."

Sakura rolled her eyes and turned to grab a broom leaning against the wall. Something looked slightly off to Sasuke, some little detail that he couldn't put his finger on. Then it hit him.

"What happened to the mop?"

Sakura laughed and shook her head, sending her hair swaying slightly. Instead of the wild tangle of pink hair Sasuke had grown used to, her hair had been combed and cut to a more uniform shape. It was still a large mass, but not nearly as unruly, and a great deal more presentable. With a slight tinge of dread, Sasuke realized he was feeling the urge to compliment her on the change.

Sakura shrugged, her smile genuine. "My trainer for the past month didn't care for it. Said it made me look like an alley cat. Took weeks to get it sorted between lessons, and I really would rather just keep it neat than have to rip into it every time I want to get some training from her."

_That and the time it got caught in the Box made it necessary_, she thought to herself. _At least Sasuke didn't notice it was much shorter and ask…_

"You cut it down some. Get it caught in a blender or something?"

_… damnit._

She rolled her eyes at him. "I am not taking commentary on appearance from you," she said, nodding at the single sleeve he was wearing. He blushed slightly at her words, and she laughed warmly and shoved the broom into his hands. "Fidget over your terrible sense of style later. I want to go home and get some sleep tonight. Sasuke uses 'Sweep The Floor'! It's super effective!"

Sasuke grumbled to himself and started sweeping.

* * *

"You know, I really am here for the finals and nothing more, sensei."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow, surprised that Orochimaru had said anything at all to him. He had led Rasa and Orochimaru to their guest rooms, carefully designed to be pleasant but not particularly extravagant, where they had settled to some tea and some light discussion on the expected matchups. Orochimaru had been polite, almost friendly really, chatting cheerfully if a little brutally about the matchups ahead and even placing a wager with Rasa that Gaara would not win the exam.

That had angered the Kazekage, who had stiffly excused himself and turned to his own quarters. Hiruzen had risen to leave as well, but he sat again as Orochimaru simply continued the conversation, talking to the Hokage with a remarkable amount of comfort, as if nothing had ever happened between them.

Hiruzen had expected his former student to try to edge conversations into tactical information on the current shinobi forces or defenses of Konohagakure, but Orochimaru never discussed such things. Instead, he asked questions Hiruzen had never expected. About civilians he had once known, and how well Anko had progressed, and if his old favorite restaurant still sold the poached eggs he used to enjoy. Even when Hiruzen tried to turn the conversation into more serious topics, Orochimaru never followed up on those opportunities.

If he was being honest with himself, this strange and amicable Orochimaru was even more disturbing that the focused and cold person Hiruzen remembered. For a soulless monster with no social skills, the sannin was being remarkably good company, which was frightful to consider if you knew the man as Hiruzen did.

Hiruzen shook his head at his former student. "I am considered soft by some of my contemporaries, Orochimaru, but I am not that soft. You never do anything without a motive, and those motives are always self serving. Even I know that, in hindsight."

Far from disagreeing, Orochimaru nodded along with that statement. "I will not deny it," he said, an almost rueful smile on his face, his eyes dimming slightly as if he was fatigued. "I am now, and ever will be, focused on my own desires. But time tempers all things, Hiruzen, and as the days of my youth fade into mere memory, I have found that things are different than they once were."

Hiruzen snorted. "At least you can admit that you were wrong."

Orochimaru looked up from his chair, his eyes suddenly blazing, and when he spoke, his voice carried an intensity and energy Hiruzen had never seen in him before. "I was wrong. Dreadfully so. I was wrong to grow so angry over being passed over. I was wrong for my… experiments, fruitful as they turned out to be eventually. I will not ask for forgiveness, Sarutobi, and we will never be allies, because I have turned your trust against you before."

He leaned back, and he smiled easily. "I have no problem with these facts. They are immutable. I do not have the Will of Fire you live for, and never will. We will never get along. I half suspect that any such meeting in the future will be filled with disagreements, on a great many things. We are far too different to be anything but neutral to each other, at best." Orochimaru shrugged.

"But maybe, just maybe, we can be civil, even if we cannot be allies."

Hiruzen leaned back and took a slow drag from his pipe, and eventually he nodded once, slowly. "Maybe," he admitted. He looked at his former student, still untrusting but surprised at the changes he had seen. "You've grown a great deal since we last met, haven't you?"

Orochimaru smiled. "Like I said, Sarutobi. Time tempers all things."

* * *

"Will this work?" asked Kabuto, standing in the moonlight.

"It will," replied Orochimaru, hidden in the shadows. ANBU could be quite crafty, but they were nothing compared to Orochimaru of the Sannin. "We know it will, don't we?"

Kabuto smiled, and Orochimaru smiled back, two snakes of the same color.

* * *

At dawn, Team Seven met a few blocks away from the Konohagakure Arena, and for once, they did not need to wait on Kakashi. He smiled at his students, who were all grinning at each other and bantering about which of them would win. There was an edge to the banter, more than a little aggression, but it was friendly none the less.

Kakashi held his hand out in a stopping gesture just as they approached the entrance. "Remember," he said carefully, "Your lives have value. So do everyone else's. Fight as hard as you can, but if your foe has lost, show mercy, and if you cannot win, yield, because others may not be so generous." He looked at each of them in turn, ensuring he had their attention, and was satisfied by how seriously they seemed to be taking him. "I would rather you repeat these exams next year than watch you die, pride be damned."

The kids nodded at Kakashi, and with a final wave, he stepped aside, allowing them to enter the doorway for the participants. As they entered the short hallway, Kakashi vanished to find his seat.

The genin expected to be awed.

They were not disappointed.

The Konohagakure Stadium was built along the lines of a professional sports stadium, which made more than a little sense. The walls curved inward from the outside, allowing more resistance to outward explosions, while the inner walls were straight, sectioned into massive panels that would be much easier to replace should a shinobi pull out some truly significant attacks. Along half the ring, a series of large pavilions provided seating for those who wanted to watch the matches. Those seats were filled to the brim with guests, who let out a roaring cheer when Team Seven walked into the ring.

Several small groves of trees dotted the edges of the ring, and rising out of the ground in the center was a massive wooden building, three stories tall and a hundred feet to a side, dominating almost half of the arena. The building was very simple in nature, with holes cut into it to represent doors and windows, and looked as if it was made of a single piece of wood. On top was a flat area with rails, where the other contestants were slowly gathering.

It was while they were walking up the side of the building that the team noticed another apparently recent addition to arena. Across from the central pavilion, attached to metal frames that towered over the arena wall, three large screens had been erected. Shaded from the sunlight by a slight overhanging edge, the screens appeared to be connected to projectors, and were showing team seven walking up the building. Each member was on an individual screen, and their names and other information was displayed along with it.

Sakura looked at her screen for a moment, then turned to face the direction she expected to find the camera. Just visible beyond the pavilions, she could see several additional frames, and many small devices that might very well be the cameras she was looking for. Under one of those frames, she saw another hastily built wooden structure, this one with many cables and monitors within. She waved at the people controlling the cameras, and smiled when one of them waved back.

Naruto stopped to wave playfully in the direction of the camera frames, and was rewarded by even louder cheers, as well as a few boos. A particularly loud one managed to rise above the noise, and Naruto waved in that specific direction, causing the cheers to drown out the unfriendly sound. Wow, thought Naruto, enjoying the sudden sensation of thousands of people showing pleasure at his presence instead of displeasure. Now I need to win this thing and keep it that way!

Sasuke shook his head and kept walking. He was admittedly a little curious, but he had a reputation to keep.

They were the last to arrive, and found the others gathered in a loose cluster, except for Gaara, who stood alone with a strange look on his face, half snarl, half smile, and Misumi, who was standing as far from Gaara as he could, sending nervous little glances the boy's way.

Kankuro, oddly, was chatting with the rest of the Konohagakure genin, and seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself, laughing at some story that Tenten was retelling and munching on a few of Choji's chips. Hinata and Neji were both standing to one side, quietly conversing with themselves, and Sasuke was shocked to see Neji was occasionally smiling at his cousin. Last Sasuke had seen, Neji seemed to hate the main branch of the Hyuuga almost as much as Sasuke hated his brother. Watching the pale youth talk with the future heir to the clan with anything but thinly veiled disgust came as quite a shock.

The various genin all stood to some degree of attention as the Hokage stood from his chair and waved for silence. Under the eyes of his father, even Gaara managed to show that much respect.

"Welcome," said the Hokage to the crowds, "to the Chunin exams." He waited a moment for the cheering to die down before he continued. "Every six months, a new batch of genin face the trials set before them to seek advancement. Traditionally, the final exam has been a sort of warfare, a battle of strengths, and to the strongest, victory."

"However, due to a surprising turn of events during the preliminary matches…" Hiruzen paused while the crowd laughed and then cheered when Sakura gave an elaborate bow. "Due to those events, I have reexamined the goal of of these exams. Far too often, the victor in these matches is the one with the most power, the most chakra, the most obscure techniques. There was no room for cunning, for stealth, or for other skills."

"We are not an army, nor should we be. No true shinobi would willingly walk into a straight confrontation against a foe when they had the opportunity to ambush, and our exams should reflect that." He waved a hand at the screens across the way, then at the building below. "We have added a structure to the arena for this exam. To ensure all of our visitors can still watch, the building has been wired with many cameras. All matches will start on the roof of the building, but after that, the contestants may move as they choose within the arena. It is on to them how they want to use these changes."

Hiruzen gave a short bow of respect to the contestants, who bowed back in return. "The first match of the day is between Haruno Sakura and Tenten, both of Konohagakure. I ask that all other contestants leave the arena."

Naruto gave Sakura a light slap on the back as they all prepared to leave. "Kick her ass, Sakura! I don't want you to drop out until you beat up the teme!" Sasuke settled for a small smile and a quite, "Good luck."

Sakura smirked at Tenten, who was grinning at her. "Keep the luck," she said quietly to her teammate's retreating backs.

"I won't need it."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Wait for it… waiiiit for iiiiiit…. DING!

"Congratulations. You have completed the achievement '1000 Followers.' You have advanced to Writer: Level 2. You have unlocked: Genre Shift, Author's Rant Level 2, 4th Wall Breaking."

Slightly creeps me out (in a good way) that there are a thousand humans out there who find my writing worth keeping an eye on. I generally avoid attention in the real world. To borrow the phrase, it's "Troublesome." Knowing that more people that I have ever really met get a notification when I drop a chapter is quite amusing. Thanks for that.

Metaphorical pat on the back over. On to real Author's Notes.

Before you get all Internet Angry at me, know this. Orochimaru in this story is just as much a manipulative bastard as he was in canon, if not more so. However, his goals are different, and they ultimately involve playing goody goody with his old sensei… for now.

In this chapter, I have touched upon one half of the circumstances that had caused all of the changes in this story. Kakashi's wisdom. Jiraiya's competency. Even the reason the Kyuubi has been oddly silent so far. The other half will be touched upon in a future chapter, with the same notification on it. If you think you put two and two together and got four, feel free to PM me, it's always amusing to chat with my readers. Please, no reviews with your guess, just in case someone gets it right.

_Temporary Note:_ Several readers have commented in the past that the character growth for Sasuke feels a little fast. While I feel it is the nature of the ramp up period where I gloss over a lot of things, I can see enough of what they are talking about to try and fix it. The first couple chapters could probably use a little padding anyhow. I'll make an AN when I get to that to signify it has been done.

Thanks to my Betas,** Heaven's Eagle** and** Pom Rania**. I am proud of how little correction you found between the two of you, and deeply grateful you found what you did. Yes, even the Author's Notes, HE.

**EDIT:** My thanks to **Walk the Max Planck**. Their review pointed out a few details that were quite helpful, including one glaring error that I am surprised slipped by me and largely all my readers. This chapter has been edited accordingly.

**Poliamdia** thanks me for not having characters shouting out their techniques. You're welcome.

**KasonSama** brought up Nekobaa, a bit character from canon from which I based my own treatment of the cat summons. Unfortunately, I could find little on her character, which implied she was essentially a stock "Old Lady," and I have not been able to see the episodes she is in. Because of this, I designed Dan to fill the need for exposition. She will likely not appear is this story.

**AlexDnD** mentioned that the last chapter had a filler feel to it, which is completely accurate. I took an Omake Vacation to cleanse my palate before this chapter, because this will largely be a serious section of the story.

**Fencer22**, you will be glad to know that the day I write an angst filled drama is the day I stop writing this and pick up a copy of _Twilight_ with which to commit literary suicide. It may amuse you to note that my conversations often feel real because when I am writing, I actually talk to myself in my head. If I cannot imagine the words in the character's voice, it's not going to work, and when the conversation or story goes off in a direction that does not match my preconception, I follow it rather than steer it. That's how we got moments like the Poisoned Chalice explanation and the entire Naruto v Shikamaru fight (which was plotted to end with the same result, but a lot more serious and actiony and not Naruto in the least. Deleted a lot of material on that one).

**TimeShifter** mentioned this being the first time they enjoyed reading about Guy's love life. To be honest, I don't think I've ever read a fic that gives Guy a genuine relationship. Even canon doesn't give Guy a relationship, which I always saw as somewhat depressing, considering what a good (if strange) guy he is. That's not counting my fannon opinion that Guy and Kakashi are as close as either of them could get to another person, and thus never felt the need to seek out a life partner of some sort. In truth, I only discount they themselves being a "romantic" couple because they have a very brotherly interaction, Kakashi's "Cool Older Brother" to Guy's "Attention Seeking Younger Brother."

**Nahji**, Thanks for noticing the cabbages.

**The Lord of Shadow** says they have nothing to complain about. This is the internet. There is always something. Dig deep, you'll find it. Believe it!

Speaking of, **HurricaneShippu** went through great lengths to point out how terrible my characterization is, over the course of several reviews. More importantly, they did so in possibly the rudest and most self conceited manner possible, just short of using words that would need censure. They essentially said "this is not conforming to my preconceptions of the characters, so it's bad."

Go read something else, because based off my reader's reactions, my version is relatively refreshing. Or better yet, if you know these characters that much better, go write your own fanfic. The phrase is 'Put up or shut up,' and frankly, it boggles my mind that the people who drop the snarly, angry reviews like this almost never have any writing to their name. Think you know better? Do better. Prove me wrong.


	35. Kunai vs Kittens! A Shot in the Dark!

Tenten grinned at her opponent, a genuine smile that was part kinship and part intimidation, while she examined the pink-haired girl across from her, idly twirling a kunai between her fingers. Sakura had been gone for the entire month before the finals, and while it let Tenten prepare without worrying about being watched by her opponent, it also meant Tenten had no idea what had happened with the pink-haired girl.

She noticed that Sakura had trimmed her hair and started washing it again, turning the previously unkempt mess into a long and voluminous curtain of pink that fell halfway to her waist. She had a new pair of leather gloves, of a significantly better make than her old ones, with a metal plate on the back and a thick leather pad on the palm. Her cut-down dress had also been repaired, the terrible stitching job having been pulled and redone. Tenten almost felt like laughing at Sakura's return to primping, but the sleeves of the dress were nonexistent, and Tenten could see Sakura's arms.

Before she left, Sakura had some strength to her, something everyone knew from watching her match. Now, however, she looked the part. Tenten was trained by Maito Guy, and was a partner to Rock Lee, the two biggest meatheads in Konohagakure. They might be tiring, but they were the kings of physical training, and she had learned a lot while watch the two of them run amok.

Sakura's muscles were well-defined and well toned. She probably weighed the same as she had when she left, but that weight had been turned from a thin layer of flesh into solid muscle through intense strength training.

Tenten was not deeply familiar with the cat Sakura kept, the one that helped her win against Shino… Kerri? Kieri? Whatever its name, the cat was certainly a cat now, and certainly not a kitten. It was sitting next to Sakura, calmly grooming itself as if it was sitting in a windowsill instead of a battlefield. Its nonchalance was slightly disturbing, as was the fact that even though it was sitting on the ground at Sakura's feet, its head was level with the middle of Sakura's thigh. _That.. is a big damned housecat._

Sakura smiled at the examination and stretched her arms slightly, using that action as an excuse to have a look at Tenten in return. The brown-haired girl had changed very little in a month, which was hardly surprising, considering her specialty did not reward physical strength all that much, but her clothing had one change that caught Sakura's eye, a vest that was covered in small tubes.

_She liked to use storage seals,_ Sakura thought cheerfully to herself. _I get the very real feeling that she is going to try and drown me in a river of steel._ Sakura smiled and walked over to Tenten, fluffing her hair as she did so, then stopped and held out her hand. "Win or lose," she said, "let's show them how much ass we can kick. One of us should be promoted, at least." At their feet, Kieri meowed and rubbed her head against Tenten's leg briefly.

Tenten looked at Sakura's hand suspiciously, but saw nothing to be concerned about, and after a moment, she nodded and shook hands with Sakura. "Agreed. Don't hold back, because I sure won't." They shared a knowing grin, two fiery warriors prepared for a glorious challenge, then Sakura walked back over to her side of the roof and crossed her arms with a smirk.

"Ready?" called the proctor, holding back a cough.

Both girls nodded and tensed.

"Begin!"

All three were in motion before the first syllable had left Hayate's mouth. Sakura immediately dropped a smoke bomb, concealing herself and her companion. Tenten threw her first kunai with unerring accuracy at where Sakura had stood, and Tenten knew without a doubt that her first shot would miss. He second and third throws were already in flight along the direction she expected Sakura to dodge in, while the fourth and fifth were direct at the cat.

Which meant they all missed completely, because Sakura did not jump away from the initial attack, nor did the cat attack. Sakura lunged forward from the smoke, ducking slightly to avoid the first kunai while she charged directly at Tenten. Sakura gave a vicious smirk when she saw Tenten's eyes widen in shock, then Tenten was cartwheeling away from Sakura's attack. Sakura turned to follow, but she saw Tenten come off from a handstand and noticed the slip of paper she had slapped onto the wooden structure. _And she already landed on her hands once earlier…_

The explosion enveloped half of the roof.

Tenten, blinded by the light, never noticed Kieri leaving.

* * *

"Ku ku ku, what a talented girl," said Orochimaru from his place beside the other Kage.

Rasa sniffed. "Hardly a talent to blow apart a roof with your opponent."

"Who said I was talking about the girl with the explosions, Kazekage?" Orochimaru chuckled as he leaned forward, watching the arena below with a frightful intensity.

* * *

Tenten approached the cloud of smoke cautiously, a shortsword in hand. She knew Sakura had spotted the second tag, so she was fairly certain she didn't kill her pink colleague, but there should be at least some damage. Sakura was clearly a front-line fighter… which is why Tenten carried a sword. Nothing would make the girl happier than to draw Sakura into a melee match, now that she had a few of her own surprises prepared.

Eventually, the smoke cleared slightly, revealing the giant hole in the roof. And in the center of that hole, standing on the remains of a support wall from the next floor down, Sakura stood, arms crossed, with a huge grin on her face. Tenten immediately spun into a defensive whirl, spinning away and lashing out behind her instinctively, only to hit nothing. When she ended her defensive kata, she scanned the roof carefully, looking for the trap. She was looking so hard that she almost lost the match immediately.

Tenten had only the smallest of warnings, a whisper of air flowing differently behind her, the sort of not-quite-noise that you cannot hear, but can still sense. She ducked and rolled to one side as Sakura passed overhead, her fist passing through where Tenten's head had been. Tenten rose smoothly at the end of her roll and pulled out a kunai, then stopped. Sakura was now standing in the middle of the remaining roof, her arms crossed again and a grin on her face.

Tenten's paranoia rose to new levels. She had reviewed her previous fight from the preliminaries extensively, and realized that Shino had lost the moment he played along with Sakura's game plan. Sakura had to know Tenten was an expert ranged weapons specialist, so she tried to close the distance to get an up-close fight. But why wasn't Sakura trying to use the building below for cover? Why fight in the open?

Tenten cautiously began to approach Sakura, who stepped back at the same pace, yielding ground to the weapons master…

* * *

"Kakashi," Mioki said, leaning slightly towards where the white-haired jonin was sitting… and coincidentally leaning into Guy, who was blushing furiously. Kakashi was feeling deeply enthused about the upcoming day. He had three students in the finals who all seemed prepared, a group of fellow jonin that he considered friends, a young civilian woman who somehow had the power to make Maito "Jumpsuits are Cool" Guy blush like a schoolgirl, and enough film in the camera in his pocket to ensure he had some great blackmail material for later. It was going to be a good day.

"Yes, Mioki?" he replied cheerfully, looking over from where he was sitting while valiantly trying and failing to defend his wheat flakes from Anko. When Kurenai had first introduced the civilian to their little group, the woman had been sure to use every appropriate honorific and remained distant, as was proper for a low-clearance civilian amongst legendary shinobi. And then, after the now-infamous Mission to Get a Date, she had simply started calling them by their first names. After that fiasco, nobody felt capable of being offended, and the woman had simply become another part of the group.

"Five hundred ryo into the pot on your pinkette," Mioki said confidently.

Kakashi nodded and pulled out a small notebook. After the clean sweep he had made in the preliminaries, nobody wanted to bet against him, but that was no fun. So instead, they were all betting into a pot, with the person with the most correct bets winning the lot. Kakashi was not participating, but he was keeping the book, and was enjoying seeing the friendly competition from the outside.

Meanwhile, Guy was looking slightly aghast at Mioki, who shrugged and gave him a beaming smile and a pat on the knee. "How could you?" he asked, manful tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. "My student burns with the fires of youth, and has shown no weakness! She even trained hard to prepare for Haruno-san's melee prowess. How can you bet against her?"

Mioki shook her her head. "Guy, I can never really know what it is to fight as a shinobi… but I watch people for a living. Tenten is paranoid, reacting with instinct instead of really thinking it through. Because of that, she's missing something important."

Guy and Kakashi watched the arena. Tenten was now in the center of the remaining roof, while Sakura was near the edge, casually tapping her foot against the wood to adjust her sandals. She started to step to the side, circling Tenten, who was having trouble keeping an eye on Sakura and watching her surroundings for the inevitable trap. After she had circled until her back was to the next building edge, she paused and tapped her other foot against the wood, as if trying to dislodge a rock.

Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed. He turned to see Mioki smirking at the still-confused Guy and decided to throw his old friend a bone. "What is the cat doing if it is not helping her fight?" he asked Guy quietly.

And when Guy understood, the look on his face made for a great photo.

* * *

Tenten watched Sakura carefully tap her foot against the roof and then start to circle. She wanted to attack, but she couldn't figure out what Sakura was up to. Her opponent was simply circling slowly, almost daring Tenten to return to her ranged attacks, and if someone encouraged you to use your primary skill, then they were prepared for it.

On the other hand, charging in to engage in melee would be a bad idea. It was not her specialty, and she doubted she would have the capability to take Sakura at her own game. She was ready, her sword was made for this very fight, but she needed to have an excuse to be backing away when she used it, and charging into the fight and then retreating would be a rather large hint.

So she waited, and watched carefully. The cat was still out there somewhere, and was probably prepared to pounce the moment Tenten gave her the chance. Tenten was confident she could hold the cat off without a huge problem, but it would distract her from what Sakura would be doing.

Sakura stopped, ninety degrees from where she had been relative to Tenten previously, and tapped her other shoe on the wood. Then Sakura grinned, a big, smug, shit-eating grin before she made a hand sign and released a cloud of smoke. Tenten threw several kunai into the smoke in a wide spread, but Sakura did not charge out. Tenten prepared some more kunai and waited for the smoke to clear. When it did, there was Kieri, with a smug look on her face, her tail twitching back and forth. The cat reached out with her claws and scratched the wooden roof once.

Then Sakura's arms smashed through the roof at Tenten's feet, grabbing the girl's ankles and pulling her down into the building with a roar. Kieri, purring contentedly, trotted over to the hole in the roof and settled down to wait, dropping the vial in her mouth to the roof as she did so.

* * *

Tenten found herself standing in a small pool of light from the hole above her, surrounded by darkness. What little she could see of her surroundings indicated she was in a large central room, with several doorways leading off into even more darkness. At first, she wondered why there was no lighting, until her eyes spotted a pile of glittering glass near the one doorway, and the empty light socket above it. _Shit._

She crouched, ready to jump out… then paused. The hole was unguarded. There was nothing keeping her from simply jumping out and ignoring the obvious trap of the dark hallways, which was suddenly a terrifying idea. Because who the hell sets up a trap that can be ignored?

The moment that thought crossed her mind, the cat's face appeared in the hole above her, framed by the light. It let out a delicate and friendly meow before pulling back. A moment later, a small glass vial dropped into the hole. Tenten snatched it before it could break and do whatever horrible thing it might do, only to discover the vial was empty.

The label on the vial was for a powerful paralytic poison. Tenten could clearly see the marks on the glass where the cat had clawed at it. On the _inside _of the glass. The cat gave out another friendly meow, and Tenten shivered.

_Option one, out the hole. Directly into an ambush set by a fast and furious cat with poisoned claws that can drop me to the ground in one hit. Nope._

_Option two, blow this entire level. But in doing so, I use all of my notes, and depending on the structure, I may end up taking myself out and becoming the biggest laughingstock in the kunoichi world. Even more nope._

_Option three… try to fight Sakura in the darkness. Nope squared._

_Option four, carry a flare, losing one of my fighting hands in exchange for light. Slightly less nope. I think we have a winner._

Tenten whirled at the sound of movement behind her, a handful of kunai sailing into the darkness. "Not quite," said Sakura, again from behind her. Tenten threw another set. When she heard movement behind her a third time, she started to rotate slowly, arm ready to throw, but she saw nothing in her limited field of vision. Still rotating, she reached into her vest and pulled an emergency flare, popping the cap off and igniting it. The light was no brighter than what she was getting from the hole, illuminating a meager ten-foot radius, but it was better than nothing.

Tenten took her first step into the darkness.

* * *

_I swear, Sakura's going to run T&amp;I some day._

Tenten was sweating profusely, her body aching from the tension as she carefully peeked into another room. She had been moving from room to room for five minutes, following hallways, ducking into doorways. At one point, she had found a small closet and ducked into it, pressing her back against the far wall and giving herself a moment to relax.

Then she heard movement behind the wall and remembered Shino's match. That was not relaxing in any way, and she had left the room feeling even more jittery and paranoid. With each careful step, she paused to take a breath and listen. After each breath, she exhaled, and told herself to relax. At first, it was mental, but she found herself whispering it with each exhale as time passed.

Occasionally, she would find a room with a window to the outside. Each time she did, she could hear the sound of the cat just outside the window, a friendly meow to remind her that the window was not the soft option. The idea of tangling with a cat capable of paralyzing her _without knowing where Sakura was_ did not sound appealing.

And damn, but Sakura was good at this. Tenten heard only the occasional scuff on the floor, or the feeling of air currents shifting, to aid her on her hunt. Several times, they had happened behind her field of vision, and she had whirled, only to find nothing. At one point, she raised her arm to throw her flare, then stopped when she had the chilling realization that throwing it _would leave her with her back to the dark._

Tenten was beginning to wonder if Sakura's plan was to let the flare die out before attacking. If it came to that, Tenten intended to risk the window.

Another scuff sounded ahead through a doorway into a long hallway that Tenten was fairly sure she had passed through already. She stepped forward, pressing her back against the doorframe, then peeked around the corner into the darkness. When nothing happened, she checked behind herself, because she had seen enough horror films to know better, before slipping into the hallway.

No sooner did she pass through the doorway, when she saw a tiny flash of… green, somewhere near the floor. After a moment, she saw it again, a sudden spot of iridescence. She took another step forward, raising the flair high, and saw two of the green orbs appear.

"Meww!"

Tenten relaxed slightly. It was a shock to see an animal's eyes suddenly appear like that, but from the size and location, Tenten was sure it was nothing bigger than a kitten, and poison or not, she knew she'd win that fight.

"Meww!"

She smirked and took a step forward.

A second pair of eyes appeared next to the first.

Tenten's steps faltered.

A third appeared.

Tenten frowned.

A fourth appeared, and startled Tenten, because the eyes appeared on the ceiling ahead.

And it was around the eleventh pair of eyes that Tenten finally stepped back.

She felt the air moving behind her, and she spun, kunai flashing, to find nothing there. She continued her spin, arm raised to defend against the kittens, only to find that the eyes were all gone.

Then she heard it. A deep, unpleasant growl.

From above.

That was when Sakura dropped on her from the ceiling with a howl.

* * *

_The moment the smoke bomb went off, Sakura and Kieri performed a pair of henge, turning into a copy of each other. While Kieri posed as Sakura, the real one quietly dropped over the edge and slid into a window hole._

_She nipped her thumb, made several signs, and quietly slapped her hand on the ground. With a puff of smoke, the Horde appeared._

_When she had met them, she had not understood why a group of twelve black kittens would call themselves "the Horde." Then Onna had allowed Sakura to view one of their training sessions, and Sakura never once questioned the name again._

"_Scatter," she said quietly. "Break every light bulb. Stalk her when she arrives, but stay out of any light she uses. Lead her about a bit, get her good and worked up, then lead her to me and give her the 'cute and harmless' treatment."_

_All twelve of the kittens saluted, then vanished into the dark._

_Sakura closed her eyes and concentrated, reaching out with her chakra, sending it out in countless short strings to brush against her surroundings. Cats used their whiskers to find their way in the dark, and after Onna put her in Schrodinger's Box the first time, she had taught Sakura the Night Whisker jutsu to do the same. It had been slightly difficult to learn how to shape her chakra into a thin strand, never mind several, but nothing encouraged quick study like nearly-lethal projectiles launched at you in absolute darkness._

_She made her way near the center of the area that still had a ceiling and waited quietly for a signal._

_Then she heard it. The sound of Kieri tapping one foot on the ground three times, a signal they had planned in the past. Sakura listened carefully, trying to determine the location, and waited. When Kieri tapped her foot a second time, Sakura noted that location as well._

_Three taps was the code for triangulation, and with two locations at a reasonably guessed distance and angle and a little bit of thought, Sakura could find roughly where Tenten had been standing. Then, when she heard Tenten's foot scrape the ceiling a foot to her left, Sakura stepped directly under her and smashed the way through to her opponent._

_She didn't fight then and there. She might win, true, but she was in no rush. Onna had drilled into her head that fast and dead is not a victory, so when time is available, take exactly what you need to do your duty correctly. Her tales of her past included stories about sudden sprints on moonless nights, intermixed with tales of working under the full moon, spending an hour moving fifty feet one agonizingly slow inch at a time._

_Shinobi were paranoid by nature, creatures that lived and died by their reflexes. And when you start reacting, you stop thinking._

_The Horde played their part perfectly, giving Tenten the occasional sound to follow and keeping her occupied while Sakura ghosted behind her opponent, looking for a good ambush location. Eventually she found one, a long hallway big enough for the Horde to gather, with a ceiling high enough for Sakura to cling to it and go unseen from the doorway below._

_And while Sakura would never admit it to the girl, the look of horror on Tenten's face when she let out her growl had been priceless. The absolute mauling she had given was just a nice bonus._

* * *

The crowd applauded when Sakura stepped out of the building with a rueful Tenten bound in rope over her shoulder and an honor guard of twelve cute and yet disturbingly orderly black kittens surrounding her. Sakura set Tenten down gently, and while she was close, whispered in her ear, "The poison vial was empty to begin with."

Sakura straightened, and to the sound of applause and Tenten's angry shout, took a bow.

* * *

Hiruzen Sarutobi had lived a long time, and was very hard to surprise. While the match had been quite interesting and more than a little delightful, it was not what he would consider surprising.

Surprise is the moment when what you thought was impossible becomes true.

The first surprise was when Orochimaru had laughed and applauded. Not the slow, sarcastic clap he usually used. Not the slightly creepy laugh that sounds like someone reading a book on how to laugh. Orochimaru clapped and laughed loudly when Haruno had dropped onto her opponent. He looked and sounded like a normal person enjoying a delightful show.

The second surprise was when a masked ANBU came out to set up for the next match, regrowing the wooden structure while a few technicians ran wires and replaced light bulbs. Sarutobi happened to glance at Orochimaru when the ANBU did his jutsu, and for a brief moment, Orochimaru, the man who willingly slaughtered people of his own village for power, looked… sad.

Hiruzen was at a loss. Orochimaru could look cold and distant. He had condescension down flat. He even managed to appear furious on a couple occasions. But something about the vague frown was disturbing for Hiruzen. And… were his eyes starting to shine with tears?

Then the Snake Sannin gave the old man a rakish grin and a wink.

* * *

**A/N:** This fight changed four times in the writing, and each time the tactics changed completely. The only thing that is as it was originally intended was Sakura using the darkness to her advantage. Tough write. Further, apologies for the relatively short chapter. I deleted quite a lot of padding because it was essentially the written equivalent of bad anime filler, barely interesting enough to tolerate and a detriment to the overall quality of the show.

Thanks to **Pom Rania**, who beta'd this chapter while **Heavens Beta** had a birthday celebration. Happy b-day, HB!

**SevenD7**, as well as a few others, commented a dislike for the "Orochimaru is still evil, wink wink," scene last chapter. I point out that I never said he was evil, just that he had a plan going despite appearing to be less manipulative here, and snakes are no more inherently evil than sharks or wolves, no matter what imagery humans assign to them.

**Quinn1989**, as well as a few others, are worries that Naruto's training with Jiraiya is far weaker than the other members of team seven. Just wait, two more chapters until everyone who thought that eats their words ^_^

**Quinn1989**, as well as a few others, also mentioned that the story favors Sasuke and Sakura at the cost of Naruto. This is slightly true, they do get more screen time in this story than the expected ¼. Unfortunately, they had the furthest to go in terms of development. Don't worry, Naruto will come into his own (two more chapters!)

**AntiCreator **asked when they decided to leave Tazuna in Konohagakure back in Chapter 13. To clarify: Tazuna left with Team 7. After the Demon Brothers attack, Kakashi decided it would make more sense to have the group pose as Tazuna and send him back when the brothers were picked up by ANBU, after getting all the relevant details that they needed.

**depressedchildren** pointed out a specific rule involving quotation marks in multi-paragraph speech. I appreciate the info, and will start adding it, but that's at a level where I don't think I will return to fix it until and unless I finish this entire thing and decided to give it an ultimate makeover.

A **Guest** pointed out that in canon, the "Kage" title was only held by the 5 great villages, and Orochimaru calling himself Otokage would raise a few hackles. Good. Meanwhile, the wiki does not explain how they get the Kage title, only that they have it. I am assuming it comes down to canon Ninja politics, you keep what you can hold. I am also assuming it, like all political systems, can change if faced with enough pressure from within or without. In canon, Oto does not make an issue of it, because he had no interest in political power. Here… we'll see.

Another **Guest **(and plenty of others) objected to Naruto acting stupid (the "I have the byakugan" moment was quoted.) You must not be watching/reading the same thing I am, because pre-shippuden Naruto was a damn fool who knew nothing about the world he lived in and would have died in the first act if it was not for the MacGuffin in his tummy, and continued to live off that MacGuffin all the way to the time skip. I am writing early Naruto, the kind of person who _announces themselves when they arrive at a fight against someone fully capable of killing him, were it not for the MacGuffin he knew nothing about._ I suspect early canon Naruto would blink stupidly at the camera the moment you used the word "Genetics" in the explanation on why he can't have the Byakugan, which is why I didn't bring it up during that very discussion. I stand by my depiction.

And finally, my slowly-becoming-a-tradition "Flame of the Chapter" post. Those of you who have seen a previous season of this particular show can give it a pass if you like, it's not exactly new content (although it may amuse you, if you enjoy moments of Lewis Black style "Angry Humor.") Another **Guest **commented on my rant last chapter on flaming reviewers who don't write. They then proceeded to write a condescending, arrogant, and dare I say, angry rant about how they are not a writer but can still give a meaningful review, which is rather my point. I specifically mentioned that those who give "snarly, angry reviews," tend not to write. I did not say, "Those who don't write always give snarly, angry reviews." This is grade school logic here. "All Corgis are Dogs" is not the same statement as "All Dogs are Corgis." Please, read carefully before calling something "bullshit." You may also want to reduce the condescension a little when you do so, just in case you end up looking worse than you should. Of course, why do that, when you can post a Guest review so nobody ever need know you're the one who failed a DC 5 Wisdom check?

It's also worth pointing out that, as my beta's have seen, I do not post my "knee jerk reactions" to being "butthurt." I do type them out, and oh boy, are they rude as hell, because (for fun, let's keep this one in for an example) nothing angers me like an absolute pussy hiding behind the Guest tag to post their damn fool opinion. All the more so when they try to bury that shit under a pile of psuedo-intellectual garbage harder than a cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor. And even better, when they _contradict their own damned point_ while doing so. I then (barring this example) delete the knee jerk rant, because it is generally angry, shitheaded garbage no better than what the damn fool reviewer posted. I then wait a few days and re-read the post that made me angry to see if the presented argument has merit (I waited a week on this one). On occasion, it does, and I try to fix the story accordingly. And when the review has a flaw in their statement big enough to pilot the _Millennium Falcon _through it, I carefully write out a post that indicates those flaws, _like I just finished doing._

For my normal readers, bonus fake internet points if you got the Venture Brothers reference in the above paragraph. No points for the Star Wars one, though, that's too easy. And in case you are curious, the reason I even bother to reply to this is because it amuses me greatly to take someone's verbal bat away and smack them over the face with it.

Finally, because I am currently getting a giggle out of being painfully blunt, hey, angry reviewers, _learn to format._ I don't expect perfection when you hammer your forehead into the keyboard to leave your opinion, lord knows I have enough little errors in my own work, but basic capitalization, punctuation, and _spacing_ will make you at least look like a more intelligent sort of social parasite. After all, if you're going to be a tick, may as well be a tick in a tux and a top hat to tip as you trip through your terrible review, twat.

I wonder how many readers just went cross-eyed at that last sentence.


	36. The Sand Brothers

Sasuke had spent a lot of time trying to grind down his ego after all that Kakashi had taught him. He was proud that when the audience started to cheer when he stepped into the arena, he was satisfied with the cheers without feeling the urge to grandstand, or prove himself, or do any other silly and egotistical display to try and get more recognition.

His opponent seemed to feel the same way. When Kankuro stepped out onto the arena, he waved and smiled casually at the crowd, but he didn't seem to be trying to impress the crowd so much as simply trying to enjoy himself. He gave Sasuke a companionable nod as they arrived at the rebuilt structure, and Sasuke returned it while they started to walk up the wall together.

"Hey, man," said Kankuro, still smiling. "No hard feelings, yeah? I'm going to try to kick your ass, you're going to try and kick mine. Don't hold back. But at the end of the day, if I win, don't be too offended." He gave Sasuke a smirk and shrugged his shoulder to hoist his package a little higher. "Considering your age, even getting here is impressive."

Sasuke shrugged. "As long as you don't get all offended like your teammate did when she lost her match, no hard feelings."

Kankuro shook his head and snorted. "Temari's a hard case and all, but I like to think I'm better than that. I like to think my sister is better than that now." He chuckled cheerfully as they stepped onto the roof of the structure.

"Sister, huh?" asked Sasuke, a somewhat creepy leer spreading onto his face. "If she's so calm now, maybe she'll help me unwind after the match."

Kankuro paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes and glaring at the younger genin, but then he snorted. "You are a smart little shit, aren't you?" he asked cheerfully. "I gotta give you credit, using my sister to get me stupid and angry is a good thing to try."

He shrugged, and an easy smile came to his face. "I'm not going to get all stupid over this. Never mind I trust my sister to take care of herself, I also happen to remember listening in on some of the shit your sensei was talking about during the preliminaries. I'm not going to fall for that sort of overt manipulation." Kankuro walked to one side of the roof and sank into a low taijutsu stance. "You won't fake me out, little guy. This is going to be a real fight."

Sasuke walked over to his own side and turned to give his foe a smirk as he pulled down his goggles. "Wouldn't have it any other way," he said, taking his own stance.

The proctor looked to each of the boys, getting a cheerful nod from each, then raised his hand. He then sent it down with a single swift chop, and jumped away even as his call to begin reached the contestants.

Sasuke activated his sharingan and immediately filled the air with fire. It was a low-intensity cloud of flame, a light drain on his chakra meant to do nothing but see which way his opponent jumped.

To his surprise, Kankuro simply charged through the flames with his arms crossed in front of his face. He lunged forward and delivered a quick jab, forcing Sasuke to end his technique and spin away. When he turned back around, he reached out and parried a blow coming in at his face, trying to force Kankuro to one side and open up his defense. Kankuro seemed to understand what Sasuke was trying to do, however, because he turned into the spin, rotating his body to deliver a side kick that brushed at Sasuke's chest as the boy jumped back slightly.

"You're much better at hand-to-hand combat than I expected from a puppet user," Sasuke pointed out while he and his opponent squared off.

Kankuro laughed. "Yeah, it's one of the things my teacher wanted me to learn, especially after the last match. I figure that with the height and weight advantage, I can probably take you down. I can't match your skill, but I just need to get you down once and it'll be over."

Kankuro reached up and cracked his neck loudly, still smiling, and Sasuke smiled back. "You shouldn't have done that," Sasuke said, nodding at Kankuro's hand.

"Why's that, kid?"

"I heard the wood," Sasuke replied, before dashing forward, a kunai already in flight. Kankuro lashed out with his own kunai, deflecting the attack, but as his arm came around to defend himself, Sasuke was already there, another kunai in hand. Kankuro stepped to the side and lashed out with a kick, but Sasuke ducked under the kick, turning the duck into a roll and coming up behind his target.

Kankuro whirled to one side, and Sasuke followed, trying to get behind the boy to strike the package on his back. The "Kankuro" he was fighting kept turning, trying to keep up with Sasuke, but he was not nearly as fast as the Uchiha, and his movements started to look awkward and jittery.

_He's gotten better at making his puppet look human, especially when it talks_, thought Sasuke, ducking a wild and sweeping kick to tuck back in behind the boy. _But there are limits to what you can do with wood, and there is only so much smoothness you can get from mechanical joints._ Kankuro recovered from his kick and turned again, trying to step away from Sasuke. Instead of trying to get behind him again, Sasuke lunged forward, lashing out with his kunai, and while Kankuro managed to avoid injury, the cloth strap holding his package did not.

In the slowed perception of Sasuke's sharingan, he saw the package start to fall, and dropped into a low sweep. Kankuro jumped, and his face started to twist as he realized that his back was suddenly much lighter. Sasuke raised his leg slightly, striking just below Kankuro's feet, and sent the package sliding away.

Kankuro yelled, but instead of trying to beat Sasuke to the package, he jumped forward into a tackle. His desperate lunge was easy to predict, and Sasuke was already moving, jumping just high enough for Kankuro to start to pass under him. Then, with a smile still on his face, he kicked out, using Kankuro as a springboard to leap out at the package.

"It's over," he shouted, bringing his kunai up.

"I know," shouted Kankuro cheerfully from behind him.

Sasuke frowned in mid air as he realized his mistake.

He let his ego muscle in on his thinking.

_He assumed._

The cloth bindings of the package ripped asunder to reveal the smiling face of Karasu, which opened its mouth wide and shot a large, round projectile right at Sasuke. He barely had time to react before the projectile exploded, flooding the area with poisoned gas.

* * *

Up in his place in the stands, Baki smirked as his student's foe was engulfed in the poison cloud. Baki had spent the past month teaching Kankuro two things. The first was some background in mind games, bluffs and double bluffs. Kankuro did not need any major new skills, Baki had said, he just needed new ways to use the ones he had.

The second thing he had helped Kankuro learn was how to imitate his own puppets. Kankuro built his own little contraptions, a series of small wooden inserts he could tuck into his uniform to imitate the slight clunking and clicking sounds that his puppets made when moving fast. He practiced moving his body stiffly, forcing himself to look just slightly unnatural in his actions.

It was a tough project. Shinobi were trained to move swiftly and smoothly from an early age, and deliberately moving stiffly ran against everything the boy knew. He had actually worried that his imitation was imperfect, until Baki had pointed out that an imperfect imitation would look like a failed attempt to get his puppet to move naturally, which would serve just as well.

"Shinobi do not fight with blades and poison and puppets," Baki had said, just before they left to return to Konohagakure. "They fight with their minds, and the most deadly weapon is the one your foe carries. Give a person enough clues, and they'll lie to themselves for you."

Baki smiled, as close to a genuine smile as he ever got, and sat back contentedly.

* * *

"Damn," said Kakashi, watching the fight below. Around him, his fellow Konohagakure jonin groaned, grunted, or otherwise indicated their mild displeasure, except for Anko, who was loudly laughing and pointing.

Mioki, sitting next to Guy, shot a questioning look at Kakashi, who sat back and sighed. "Sasuke is a very talented shinobi," the white-haired jonin said, watching the cloud swirl in the light breeze that made it into the arena. "Unfortunately, he knows this, which on occasion leads him to the worst assumption a shinobi can make."

"What's that?" asked Mioki.

"He thinks he's smarter than everyone else," Anko said cheerfully around a mouth full of dango, causing Kakashi to sigh and rest his head in his hands, mumbling a curt agreement to Anko's somewhat blunt statement.

Mioki looked at the gas, narrowing her eyes as she helplessly tried to peer through the thick green cloud. She leaned slightly inward towards Guy and asked, "Is it over?"

Guy laughed and gave her a pat on the leg. "Nonsense! My eternal rival has worked hard to train his student in the art of poisons, and when you know how to make a poison, you often know how to avoid it. I am sure young Sasuke is still in the fight."

* * *

Sasuke's emergence from the poison cloud almost cost Kankuro the match. The Suna genin had sauntered forward, recalling his puppet to his side as he did so, and patiently waited for the cloud to fade before moving in to claim the win. Then Sasuke came out of the cloud in a flying kick, sailing over Kankuro's head.

Sasuke landed and pulled off his gas mask to give the boy a smirk. "That was a close one, pal. Better watch out." He held his arm up and resisted the urge to laugh as Kankuro patted the top of his head when he saw the black hood in Sasuke's hand. Sasuke tossed the hood back to his opponent, who slipped it on and grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, you got the drop on me," said the puppet user, raising his hands and commanding Kurasu forward. The puppet stood in front of his controller, all four arms spread menacingly. "I still dodged, and at least now I know not to bother with poison gas." The puppet shut its mouth with a click.

"I know something you don't know," Sasuke sang, like a schoolchild dying to share a secret.

Kankuro rolled his eyes and pointed with one arm. Karasu started rattling and flying through the air, short thick needles popping out of each of its arms. Sasuke lunged forward in response, rolling under the puppet's arms. He ended his roll in a crouch and lashed out, grabbing one of the puppet's legs with one hand and jerking it towards himself.

To his surprise, the puppet kept going, leaving its leg behind. Sasuke quickly threw it away, and was significantly less surprised when it suddenly sprouted several dozen short blades. The leg pinwheeled away for a moment before its flight evened out, curving through the air until it reattached itself to the puppet with a click.

Kankuro smiled and straightened from where he was on the roof, shrugging comically. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he said cheerfully, before turning and running for the roof edge. Sasuke's kunai followed him, dead on target, only to be intercepted by Karasu in its path to rejoin its master.

"Come and get me then," came Kankuro's taunting call as he slipped over the edge and dropped into the building itself.

Sasuke smiled. _You got it_, he thought, dropping over his own side and jumping through a window.

* * *

Sakura looked up at the large projection screens as Sasuke entered.

The screens had been positioned carefully by whoever set this up, angled slightly upwards so it would be almost impossible to see from the arena itself. As Sasuke and Kankuro made their way throughout the corridors, the cameras kept track, showing one contestant on each screen. The screen showing Sasuke flickered regularly as he worked his way methodically through the building. Kankuro's screen remained largely the same, focused on the boy as he set up a series of mirrors around a few doorways, his puppet nowhere in sight.

"Think he's going to be okay?" she asked Naruto, petting her purring cat distractedly.

Naruto laughed loudly, drawing a look from the other contestants. "You kidding?" Naruto asked cheerfully. "Sasuke's got this. He's not gonna get fooled by some lame trap. If anyone can out-sneaky-bastard that sneaky bastard, it's Sasuke." Kieri meowed in assent and stopped pestering Sakura, instead sauntering over to rub against Naruto's leg.

Sakura smiled at Naruto's boisterous certainty, even as she fretted over Sasuke. _He almost fell for one_, she thought to herself. _Please, don't fall for another_.

* * *

Only a slight whirring noise warned Sasuke that he was being attacked.

It had taken nearly ten minutes of careful work to get to that point. Sasuke was well aware that he'd almost made a mistake earlier, and he was more than willing to take his time to avoid doing the same thing again.

The clicking noise drove him to dive to one side, tumbling away as a series of senbon slashed through the thin wall at chest height. After a moment, the clicking stopped. Sasuke remained crouched low to the ground, listening carefully with held breath, and he heard the faint sound of something small sliding across the ground. Then he saw, for just a second, a tiny image of Kankuro close to the floor, a flash of his eyes as a mirror was nudged into place. Then the clicking noise began again, and Sasuke was dodging more senbon.

Over the next couple minutes, a pattern emerged. Sasuke would wait patiently, and eventually, a small mirror would become visible as Kankuro repositioned it, and then he would fire senbon through the walls. Sometimes, while dodging, Sasuke would spot another mirror in passing, and the senbon would follow him somewhat longer.

What was worse, his foe was using several mirrors in succession to obscure his own position. Sasuke would start to follow the images, watching for reflections, but every time he seemed to get close one of the mirrors would suddenly pull out of alignment, and Kankuro would escape under the sound of the senbon launcher. Several times, he caught a glimpse of the puppet passing by a doorway or through a hall, but the idea of chasing it through a doorway and neatly framing himself to be shot did not appeal.

_Glad I don't really need to see him then._

Sasuke stood and shut his eyes, waiting patiently. After a few seconds, he heard the click of the puppet, opened his eyes, and stepped swiftly to one side as several needles passed through the space he had been standing in. Sasuke did not return to a crouch, instead continuing to step to the side, swiftly avoiding the flying needles that followed him. He shut his eyes again, and then took two more steps to the side, stopped and crossed his arms with a smirk, facing the puppet behind the wall.

The attacks stopped… because the launcher was now facing its owner, with Sasuke in the middle, where a missed attack might very well strike the puppet's owner.

Sasuke raised his hand and rapped on the wall behind him with the back of his hand. "Feeling comfy there, pal?"

Kankuro laughed on the other side of the wall. "Good job, I guess," he said, still cheerful. "How'd you figure it out, if I can ask?"

Sasuke smirked. "Your makeup. Smells of lavender. Very pretty."

_I doubt he'll believe it, but I'm not going to tell him how my abilities work._ After the puppet had released its gas cloud, Sasuke had taken advantage of the cover to call up a kikaichu up from the nearest hole in his arm to nestle itself onto his goggles between the lenses.

A male kikaichu. Like all of the males of his species, he could readily sense females at a distance. Such as the one he had planted in Kankuro's hat, or the one on the puppet's leg.

Sasuke's hive had made significant progress, managing to make trails throughout the skin of his bicep and half of his chest and back, but it was still geared for expansion instead of production, and Sasuke did not have the kind of resources needed for the more elaborate hive jutsu he'd learned about from Shibi and Tobo during his checkups. He had one attack he could perform, but it would take most of his available combat-ready kikaichu to do it, and he wasn't going to waste it on this fight when he had an easier alternative within his grasp.

Kankuro laughed. "You know this is not over yet."

Sasuke nodded, assuming Kankuro could still see him in a mirror somewhere. He then turned quickly and raised his fist to break through the wall. Even as he did so, he heard the clattering smash of the puppet coming at him through the wall at his back. He smiled and whirled, pushing off against the wall he had been facing with his feet and lunging out at the puppet as it emerged. He gave it a solid strike, a single fist that smashed through the puppet's chest cavity, then he jumped out of reach of its counter attack and let it flee around the corner to join its controller.

The moment the kikaichu between his eyes reported that the two females were within three feet of each other, Sasuke nodded to himself and raised his hands in the Snake seal, detonating the explosive tag he'd left in the puppet's chest..

* * *

Kankuro sat up and blinked in the bright sunlight, his ears ringing.

_Fuck_, he thought as his gaze fell upon the giant hole in the wall and the miniscule bits of puppet strewn about,_ looks like I get to rebuild my weapon too_.

When Sasuke rose out of the hole with a kunai drawn and started plummeting at his still-sitting foe, Kankuro raised his empty hands quickly. "I give up," he said, shrugging as Sasuke landed and then hopped slightly back. "I'm no slouch, but a month is not going to make me a taijutsu master. You got my main weapon, and I am a specialist. In a real fight, I'd have a few other things to try, but those are the sort of things that could kill me in the process, and I am not going to die to prove a point in a competition."

Sasuke nodded and turned to Hayate, who nodded as well, and while the proctor turned to call the match, Sasuke walked up and offered a hand to his foe.

Kankuro looked at the boy's hand for a moment, then laughed and shook it.

* * *

Orochimaru shook his head and laughed as the match ended, drawing a curious glance from Hiruzen and a blank stare from Rasa. "Excuse me," he said, trying to smother a smile. "It seems our Sasuke-kun is very forgiving to his weaker foes, doesn't it? I wonder how he'll do when he comes across his brother some day…"

Hiruzen and Rasa both shot a glare at him, Hiruzen for bringing up Itachi, and Rasa for calling his son weak. While their annoyance was mildly annoying in turn, what made the moment special was how similar the two looked while glaring at the sharp-tongued serpent in their midst.

_For all their differences, viewed from the outside, they are very much alike_. Orochimaru chucked, then glanced up at the sky, checking the sun's position.

* * *

Gaara gave the crowd a cold smile as he walked into the arena, and felt a small moment of glee as the crowd visibly faltered in their cheers as he did so. _Wise for them to quiet themselves, before Mother starts demanding their blood_.

Mother had been particularly loud as of late, ever since the end of the preliminary round. It was bad enough he was denied his kill, making her angry at him, but when he returned home, his father had made it that much worse.

"You will listen to the proctor," Rasa had said to his youngest son. "If they tell you to stop, you will stop. You will not embarrass myself or Sunagakure with your bloodlust, Gaara. And if I have to stop you myself, I will not hesitate to lock you away until I can find a replacement container for your… mother." Rasa had glowered deeply at that last word, angry, no doubt, that Gaara got to keep his mother with him instead of having her taken from him like everyone else Gaara had ever cared for.

His father… he was not on that list. In truth, Mother demanded his blood more than any other being, but Gaara had long since given up trying to kill his father. Rasa of the Gilded Sands was a powerful shinobi, and his own techniques, focused on the heavy golden dust he always kept with him, were effective in stopping Gaara's own, lighter sand.

Gaara looked up at his father in the stands and gave the man a cold smile._ You'll make a mistake some day, Father. And when you do, Mother will praise me as she drains the life from your mangled corpse._

Gaara finally arrived at his place on the roof and looked at the proctor. "Let's start," he said, crossing his arms, his sand starting to slowly flow from the gourd on his back, floating around him like a serpent raised to strike.

His opponent, Misumi, looked at Gaara blankly before turning away from him and the proctor to face the platform where the three village leaders were waiting.

"My lord," said Misumi loudly, "If you so demand it, I will fight this monster. I will battle him to the best of my ability, I will lose, and I will die in your service. I will do this if you so demand, hopeless though it may be. I only ask for you to order me to do so, before I die." The man bowed deeply and waited.

* * *

Hiruzen listened to the speech and frowned. Why would he ask such a thing, he thought. He had always been truthful with his shinobi forces, and he did not spend their lives thoughtlessly. They knew they could concede as they felt the need to, because no matter how it might hurt their financial prospects, Hiruzen could not bring himself to demand they fight to the death for what was essentially sport, even one that was so vital to the economic warfare between villages.

He stood. "I do not demand your death," he called out clearly. "If you feel the need to concede, I will not judge you harshly."

The man remained in his bow, unmoving.

Then Orochimaru started to chuckle. "I am sorry, Hokage-sama, but I don't think he is talking to you." As Hiruzen turned and stared at his former student, Orochimaru rose smoothly and leaned over the railing slightly. "I am not beyond ordering the death of one of my agents," he said loudly, loud enough for the entire crowd to hear. "You have served me well here in Konohagakure, and I know your dedication to me is absolute. I will not discard such a useful tool on a whim, certainly not for such a pointless thing as your potential promotion within Konohagakure. You may concede. If anything, it is probably for the best that you not get promoted before returning to Oto with me."

While Misumi turned to the proctor to yield, a open look of relief on his face, Orochimaru stepped back and shrugged at the surprised look on Rasa's face and the glare Hiruzen was giving him. The stands were silent, marred only by the occasional gust of wind rustling stray paper and clothes, as the various civilians and especially the shinobi tried to come with the realization that there were spies in Konohagakure.

"You admit you had a spy in my ranks," said Hiruzen coldly.

Orochimaru nodded and gave his former mentor a thin smile. "I had several," he freely admitted, "and you should be able to figure out who easily enough at this point, as all but this one have left over the last week. You've had a lot of 'Missing in Action' mission reports lately, I suspect."

Hiruzen's glare intensified. "This could be cause for war, Orochimaru. And it would start right here, with you and me."

Orochimaru raised his hands peacefully and nodded. "Yes, yes, we could all get angry at the fact that I had spies, because that must certainly be a surprise, your declared foe and traitor keeping tabs on his old home town. We could fight it out right here, and while I might win, it would probably cost me a limb or two at best." Orochimaru chuckled to himself and sat quietly in his chair. "That would be a waste, and you know it. If I wanted to preserve my supposed innocence in the matter, I could have ordered him to die ahead of time, and spared myself such an obvious error in foresight. Peace, Hokage. I have not raised my hand against you, have I?"

Hiruzen's glare did not drop, but he slowly sat in his own chair, gripping the arms tightly. "Peace or not, Orochimaru, if I find one of your spies, the remainder of their lives will not be pleasant, and I will be looking, I assure you. And you will be taking that traitor with you as you go. After a serious interrogation."

Orochimaru nodded politely and opened his mouth to agree, but stopped when he heard a piercing scream from the arena.

* * *

Gaara finally snapped the moment the proctor raised his hand to declare Gaara as the winner._ I will not be denied! Mother will not be denied! THERE WILL BE BLOOD!_ Gaara raised his arms, his sand flying outwards. The proctor tried to intercept the attack, only to be swept aside.

His foe didn't resist, didn't dodge. He stoically watched as the sand swept around his legs. It was only when Gaara closed his hand into a fist and crushed the man's feet that he screamed. "There will be no escape for you!" Gaara shouted gleefully as he opened his hands and let Mother begin covering the man fully with her sand, clamoring for his blood.

Then there was the slightest of sounds, barely heard over the shouts of the crowd, and the sand parted down the middle, revealing Orochimaru of the Sannin standing before him with a long sword resting point first on the ground, the man's hands resting lightly on the pommel.

"This is my tool," said Orochimaru coldly. "_Mine_. Mine to use as I see fit. Mine to save. Mine to slay. Mine to sacrifice. Not yours. He has yielded. You will not harm him again." Orochimaru gave a smile just as cold as Gaara's usually was. "Unless you think you can slay the infamous Snake Sannin. You would not be the first to fall into the delusion, and you would not be the last if you did."

The Sannin shrugged and smoothly raised his sword. "The only reason I am giving you the chance to back down is that I would hate to anger your father by lopping that mad little head off of your shoulders. So, by all means, attack. Please do. It might actually be interesting to me."

Gaara raised his arms, his sand pouring around him, then stopped. The sannin before him did not flinch in the least, even as the sand started to circle. He didn't frown, or fret, or even look away. He stared into Gaara's eyes, and his mocking gaze was terrifying, because until then nobody, not his sister nor his brother nor his father nor his sensei, had looked at him with such mockery, and without even a hint of fear.

For the first time in his memory, Gaara realised, Mother was not demanding the blood of someone who got in his way.

The silence from his Mother was also terrifying.

He lowered his arms, then crossed them as the sand began to return to its gourd. "I consent to your request, Sannin. For now."

Orochimaru gave him a single slow nod, and Gaara turned away, glaring at the ground.

_The next one_, he quietly thought to his Mother, who was always listening, _I will slaughter in your name, Mother._

* * *

Hiruzen continued to glower at Orochimaru as the leader of Otogakure returned to his seat. "Hardly fitting," he said, "A shinobi of your level threatening a mere genin."

"As if you would not do the same, to save one of your own, Hiruzen-sensei?"

Hiruzen frowned and leaned back, unable to deny it.

"If he does it again," Rasa said quietly, without emotion, "you may do what you must. I had hoped he could control himself, but this is quickly showing to be false. It may well be that he will try this again. If he does, I will take no action if you are forced to slay him."

Hiruzen looked with surprise at Rasa.

Orochimaru did not.

He simply smiled, and glanced at the sun.

* * *

**A/N:** I am deeply sorry for the long delay. I had some issues with medication, a bad case of writer's block, and Fallout 4.

I am not entirely happy with this chapter, because try as I might, I could not make Sasuke's fight awesome enough as an actual battle. Kankuro is a bad match for him, writing-wise, because he's a bit of a one-trick pony by design, and nothing I came up with for him made genuine sense. I feel bad, as I know some of you feel Sasuke does not get enough story time, but if it helps, he has a very awesome moment coming up in the final match. As does Naruto. I actually feel bad because Sakura's part in the finale for the exam arc is to be fairly small, and she always seems to get shafted in the big fights.

Ahh well.

Next chapter, Naruto v Choji and Hinata v Neji. This should come to me faster, as they are much better, more potentially interesting matches (Sasuke v Kankuro was not exactly a thrilling matchup, tactically), and I REALLY can't wait for the Naruto fight, because I am going to both amaze and piss off so many readers.

I got a lot of questions/opinions on how odd and ambiguous Orochimaru was, and how he feels neither evil nor good._ That's rather the point._ Of all the villains of Naruto, Orochimaru gets the most character growth, going from "stereotypical evil" to "evil for the lols" to "justified evil," and eventually hitting "anti-hero." Rather than follow the progression of the manga/anime in his growth, I'm going to make the reader decide for themselves, until the very end. I will say this, though: His actions do have a purpose, and they are internally consistent with his goals. Considering the chapter you just read, I am sure that will piss someone right the hell off. High five!

And as for why Hiruzen does not attack, keep in mind that his primary goal is peace. When you break peace treaties, so does the other side. When you mistreat prisoners or civilians, so does the other side. The only way to prevent the horrors of all-out war is to not start with them, and to band together against anyone who does. Justified or not, if the Hokage were to attack a leader from another village without just cause that could be proven to the other villages, even if that leader was a traitor, that would give a lot of other villages a good public reason to band up and crush Konohagakure. I suspect that if it was anyone but Hiruzen (and maybe Jiraiya), they'd take the risk, but the old Hokage is a bit of a softy. He fought Orochimaru to the death in canon because the little bugger gave clear provocation. Here, it is not so clean cut.

Oh… and out of character, I am calling my version Trollrochimaru, thanks to **Pom Rania**, who kept calling him that during the beta work.

**Lord Kyuubi** felt that Sakura would have been better off fighting Shino in the arena instead of in the tower. I understand the feeling, but I also point out that in the canon Shino was quite capable of surprising his opponent with his bugs in spite of the open nature of the arena (in the canon fight, nobody seems to spot the literal carpet of kikaichu). By drawing him into the tower, Sakura forced Shino to fight on her terms. Action often trumps reaction in a fight, and he was forced to react.

**Storyman09** mentioned the definition of irony and how difficult it is. For that, google "Bender explains Irony" and watch the 9s youtube video. It's remarkably concise.

**matze3** asks how and why they are on a roof at the start of the finals, and explains how that would be leaving the arena. I think they missed the description of the arena, which included the small, hastily built, and comparatively flimsy structure in the middle of it. They are not on the roof of the arena, they are on the roof of the structure in the arena, and it is designed to be flimsy and replaceable because there is no point building to code when you know the people who will be using it have a love of explosives and excessive force.

**wnseadup** asked why Kieri did not play a larger role in Sakura's fight. This is because she is a cat. Most house cat species are not heavily-built like dogs. They are fast, and their claws are sharp, but they are not durable. Why risk your companion and friend with direct combat when you can use them effectively as a distraction? Also, I wanted to avoid making Sakura a mere Inuzuka expy.

And as always, thanks to my beta readers, **Pom Rania** and **Heavens Beta**.

**MINI OMAKE**  
**(It's all Pom Rania's fault)**

I was deeply confused at first when Sensei held up the small metal cone.

"I don't get it," I said, "Why do I want to use that… thing?"

Sensei scratched at his expansive facial hair. "When you try to break through an object, your goal is to put as much pressure as possible into the smallest area possible. Bad shinobi will slap several explosive tags on top of each other, which makes the explosion more impressive, but wastes a lot of the force of the blast when it reflects off of the object. By wrapping your tags around the inside of this cone, the explosions push against each other and focuses a great deal of the energy into the base of the cone, which is on the object you want to break."

He was about to say more when his eyes started to gleam with a sort of feral good cheer. He spun in place, his thick arms raising to deflect a three foot long metal dart, sending it pinwheeling away. Several more darts followed, each one deflected with calm precision, before Sensei came to a halt, his long moustache swaying in the breeze, his gaze on the distant Hokage monument.

I squinted, and could just make out the distant form of my sometimes-friend sometimes-foe Kari and her team. Her sensei was gesticulating wildly at a large metal contraption that looked like a cross between a siege tower and a giant crossbow.

"It looks like Savage-sama is reloading, Hyneman-sensei."

"Don't worry about it," he replied. Hyneman-sensei gave me one of his rare smiles and hefted his little metal cone. "I planted one of these in the middle of Adam's device last night."

He pulled down his goggles, and under his expansive moustache he began to grin as he raised his hands in the Snake seal.

"Jamie want big boom."


	37. What? What! WHAT?

Naruto and Choji walked out onto the arena floor together.

"I'm actually kinda impressed," said Naruto, taking another glance at his big-boned friend… and after a moment, Naruto smiled at the realization that for all that he went through in his youth, Choji really was a friend, if an often distant one.

Naruto had been gone for only a month training with Jiraiya, but he was amazed to see the growth in some of his friends and acquaintances that he had seen so far. Choji was one of the most obvious ones. The boy had grown, and not in width. If anything, he looked slightly healthier. He was still a large person, but where he had once looked like someone well-suited to his Human Bullet technique thanks to his round nature, some of the plumpness was gone, replaced with the sort of solid look of an overweight man who nonetheless was disturbingly healthy. He had also replaced the odd hat he once wore for a regular forehead protector, which only just barely held back his hair.

"You look kinda… buff," commented Naruto.

Choji beamed at the compliment, an honest and jovial smile. "You bet, and I worked hard for it too! Ino hooked me up with Rock Lee for training a few days after the preliminary, and…" He stopped as Naruto groaned and looked to the sky.

"Noooo, not another one! It's no fair! Everyone seems to get all buff and scary with the help of Lee and Guy, but all I get is…" Naruto stopped, partially with the realization that he should not be talking about what he did learn from Guy, and partially because he was interrupted by a powerful shout from the stands.

Ino was being very supportive of Choji, at the top of her voice. While in the past that would have been of no concern, a month of intense training with Lee had changed a lot for her. She and Shikamaru had been standing with Choji when they met at the door to the arena, and Naruto found himself confused at her new look. Ino was still very skinny, at least until she flexed her arms and showed off, in her words, "guns that could shell Iwa from here." Along with the disturbing amount of definition, she had also picked up a shorter haircut, a dark blue tracksuit from some fashion brand Naruto didn't care about, and enough tidal volume in her lungs to be heard over the entire crowd of spectators at the arena.

"You know, I didn't want this," said Choji quietly as they started to walk up the building's side. "I wasn't really interested in promotion just yet. I was mostly in it for the reward Asuma-sensei promised me. But if I'm going to get this far…" Choji grinned at Naruto. "... I might as well do my best. I think Kiba would say, 'I'm gonna kick your ass.'"

Naruto laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder. "I expect nothing less. The fight wouldn't be worth it if it was easy. But don't think I'll be as easy as Kiba. At the very least, there are less walls to bounce off of."

They shared a laugh, and when they got to the top of the building, they paused to wave to the crowds. The crowd cheered in return, and when Naruto started throwing winks and kisses in random directions, there were more than a few whistles as well.

After a moment, Hayate coughed from behind them. "Nice show and all. Now get to your sides and get ready, we don't have all day."

Naruto and Choji shook hands, then turned and walked to their respective sides. But then Choji turned when he heard the crowd laughing, just in time for Naruto to tumble to the floor with a thud, his arms windmilling. To the crowd's laughs, he checked his sandals, then gave a sheepish shrug to the crowd and stood, dusting himself off carefully.

When they both were in position, Hayate called for the match to begin and jumped away. Naruto stood still, quietly waiting, and was surprised when Choji didn't move as well. Instead, the bigger boy was looking around on the roof carefully.

"What, you scared or something," Naruto taunted.

Choji smirked, then drew a kunai and tossed it, neatly bisecting the explosive tag Naruto had dropped on the ground in his tumble. "I'm not going to fall for such an easy trap, Naru-"

He stopped when Naruto gave him a smirk and raised his hands in the Snake seal.

Choji was not a genius, nowhere near Shikamaru's level, but he knew that nothing good happened when an enemy shinobi used that hand seal. He dove to the right, tumbling carefully, and when the tumble stopped, he rolled smoothly to his feet to the sight of a huge smoke cloud that filled Naruto's side of the roof. _Damn,_ he thought, _made me jump and then dropped some smoke bombs for cover._

Kunai started to fly out from the smoke cloud, ten at a time. The aim was haphazard at best, but the sheer volume of blades kept Choji on his toes, and the roof quickly became covered in discarded kunai. After a full minute, the attacks finally petered out. Choji waited, as the smoke started to clear, ready to start crushing clones. He saw several clones starting to appear in the smoke… then as one, they raised their hands, made a few hand seals, and dispelled.

Choji glanced around the roof for a moment and took a single step towards the edge of the roof, then stopped. He looked down at the kunai near his feet, his eyes narrowing. Then he raised his foot as if to take another step… and stomped down on the kunai.

It dispelled with a Naruto-sounding yelp.

"Right," Choji shouted, "Like a basic henge will work on me! Let's go bowling!" Choji's body suddenly expanded into a sphere, his head and limbs tucking back into his body, and with a sudden spin, the Human Bullet was rolling across the roof, crushing kunai shaped clones.

"Show's over, boys!" shouted one of the clones, and twenty kunai transformed into twenty copies of Naruto and started to evade the rolling Choji. They dodged his attack easily, except for one that ran out of space and was crushed. Choji's turns were a lot sharper than before, and another clone found out that there was no way to stop the boy's momentum with any reasonable amount of force. They started to back off, throwing the occasional kunai, but mostly focused on evading. One eventually managed to plant an explosive tag under the rolling boy and detonate it, sending Choji high into the air, still rolling.

His rolling suddenly stopped, and Choji dropped out of his enlarged state as he reached the peak of the arc he was traveling. "Multiball!" he shouted, making a few hand signs and summoning three illusionary clones. As one, they expanded into orbs and started to spin as they headed back towards the roof, and as one, they cried out, "MULTIBALL!"

Naruto's clones learned two things for him over the next few seconds. The first was that it was much harder to keep track of the real opponent when they kept passing through their own illusionary doubles. The second was that the roof was a terribly small space to dodge four spinning Choji.

Eventually, the final clone was left standing in the middle of the roof, nervously eyeing the four Human Bullets circling him. Just as they turned inward, he shrugged… and dispelled. Choji stopped rolling and returned to his normal form, looking around the now-empty roof.

"You can't hide!" he shouted. "This flimsy thing cannot save you!" Choji jumped high and raised a single fist. In a blink of an eye, his fist and arm expanded, until it was almost the size of his original body, and with a bellow, Choji brought his massive arm down on the roof of the building.

His first strike only smashed the roof.

So Choji kept striking.

He smashed through floor after floor, causing the entire structure to shudder with each blow, and when he reached the bottom, the audience heard an incredible grinding sound just before Choji's Human Bullet blew out one of the corners. He proceeded to smash into each wall and corner of the bottom floor, demolishing the entire structure, then rolling over the ruins, smashing them flat until there was simply no room to hide within them any more. Only after the very last wall was flat below his bulk did Choji stop spinning. He stood in the middle of the arena, puffing slightly from the effort, and looked around, seeing nothing but flat debris, dust, and some distant trees.

Where was he?

* * *

_Damn, Choji,_ thought Asuma from his seat in the stands. _If that doesn't impress a few nobles, nothing will._ Shoddy construction or not, Choji had just demolished a building, and the boy was barely even breathing heavy. Asuma felt more than a little pride for his student, even if he could not claim direct credit for his transformation.

But the credit was his in his mind. He had spotted how well Ino had been growing under Lee's guidance, and had suggested to the girl that Choji could probably stands to lose a few pounds of bulk for a few pounds of muscle. Choji argued a bit, claiming his bulk was for his family jutsu, but he simply did not have the willpower to fight Ino's custom blend of nagging and flattery for long, and he had started his extra training that very same day. And now, Shikamaru was starting to show a little interest, if only because the rest of his team spent a couple hours a day without him.

"Doing good, that kid," said a warm voice directly next to him.

The surprised reactions were immediate and priceless. Asuma leaned away, one of his trench knives sliding into his hand. Kakashi's mask flexed in a smile. Guy's eyebrows rose. Kurenai's hand lashed out in a slap that was easily avoided. Anko spewed a third of a bottle of sake on no less than five of the people in front of her. And, oddly, Mioki did not react, other than to turn and look calmly.

Jiraiya was sitting behind them, leaning forward between Asuma and Kurenai, and he chuckled at their reactions.

"When the hell did you get here, Jiraiya-sama?" Asuma asked.

"He walked up a minute ago, when everyone was watching Choji take apart the building," said Mioki, her tone confused. "Did you really not see him? He just walked over and sat behind you. I assumed you saw him."

Jiraiya stepped over Asuma and smoothly slid into a seat next to Mioki, sliding Asuma to one side as he did so. "And who is this lovely young woman, whose eyes can pierce the very nature of the universe, even as they captivate me so?" He reached out to take her hand, but she leaned away, burrowing slightly into Guy's side as she did so.

Kakashi gave a cough that sounded remarkably like a laugh and turned from where he was patting the sputtering Anko on the back. "That's Shimura Mioki, head of Civilian Surveillance, and currently here with Guy, Perverted Sage-sama."

Jiraiya's leer dropped into an easy smile, and his hand moved to the side, smoothly transitioning from a lecherous grasp to a friendly one. "A pleasure, Shimura-san. It's nice to see Guy finally find someone who is less crazy than he is."

Kakashi gave another humourous cough. "She ate of the Curry of Life," he mumbled.

"It's nice to see Guy finally find someone," Jiraiya repeated, drawing a small grin from Mioki and a big blush from Guy. "And I am not surprised now that you saw me. Shinobi have a sixth sense when it comes to sneaking, backstabbing, and furtive movement, but it's amazing what you can get away with if you walk around like you're just another tourist."

Kakashi glanced back at the arena, watching as Choji slowly looked from side to side, looking for his foe. "I see Choji is confused, which I view as a good thing. What exactly did you teach him, Jiraiya?"

The Great Toad Sage leaned back and crossed a leg over one knee. He then pulled his pipe from his jacket, tapping it on his sandals, and grinned at nobody in particular. His eyes were alight with mirth as he said, "I taught him how to walk amongst the people and never get a second glance, how to enter and leave the room without a single person noticing. I taught him to be the ultimate spy. I taught him to be invisible!"

Mioki laughed. "What, like you just did to these guys?"

Jiraiya looked at her, a warm sparkle in his eye and a big grin on his face. "Yeah... that too."

The jonin of the group shared a collective glance, then looked back at the arena with renewed interest.

* * *

Choji turned quickly at the sound of running feet, then slapped aside the first strike when Naruto charged him from wherever he had been hiding. Naruto darted back and made the seal for his shadow clone jutsu, summoning three more clones.

"That's it?" asked Choji, arms up and wary. "Three of them?"

Naruto grinned and slowly shook his head.

Choji never saw the first hit. Or any of the others.

The crowd turned silent when Choji's head suddenly snapped up as if he had been struck. He staggered back, only to suddenly jerk backwards, folding over his gut as he did so. He stumbled, only to suddenly stop. There was a pair of shouts, and Choji started to flail his arms as he slowly levitated off of the ground.

He stopped flailing when he suddenly spun up and backwards, rotating to slam into the ground head-first with a thunderous thump. He pulled himself up, shaking his head and snorting. "I've been training with Maito Guy, Naruto. I can take a lot more than... THIS!" He turned, his arm suddenly expanding, and with a single swing of his now huge arm, struck several invisible things that vanished in a puff of smoke.

_Damn_, thought Naruto from where he was watching the fight, _he's got it figured out_. Against anyone else, the sudden sucker punches might have worked, but Choji was nothing if not sturdy. Naruto could probably overwhelm his opponent with numbers, but what would that prove. _Well, if he's this sturdy, let's see how he handles..._

Choji was standing, ready to swing, and listening carefully. He heard several footsteps, but non headed his way, and he heard no sliding leather of a weapon being drawn. In truth, all he could hear was a strange whistling sound, like wind blowing through a crack in the wall. Directly in front of him, two clones slowly faded into view, their bodies shimmering and wavering in place as they did so. They were both leaning towards each other, with one striking the air around the other's upraised palm.

"This is it!" Naruto shouted, as the ball of compressed chakra started to form.

Choji shook his head and took a stance. _He still has to hit me with whatever that is._

With a shout, Naruto charged, arm raised, the ball spinning freely in his grasp.

Choji felt a fist thump into his side, another in his back, but he ignored them both. He ignored the pain, the slight nausea from the blow to his head, all the aches he had gained in the fight. He ignored it all, and focused only on the charging Naruto and his jutsu. And just as Naruto reared back to strike, Choji lashed out with his right arm, enlarging it in an instant to close the distance between them. He snapped his hand shut, grabbing Naruto by the head and stopping him cold.

Naruto brought his arm around, slamming the spinning ball into his opponent's arm.

Choji flinched away from the attack, snapping his arm up and away from it… and bringing Naruto with it. Then the pain hit, causing Choji to instinctively let go of the painful thing he was holding.

Naruto flew long and far, slightly dazed from the throw. He quickly made a set of shadow clones, who started to grab him and toss him back into the arena... then ducked behind him, cushioning him for the crash landing.

In the stands.

Hayate called out from the arena, "Winner, by disqualification, Akimichi Choji!"

* * *

"What?" said Sakura. And Sasuke. And Shikamaru.

"What!" shouted Kakashi. And Guy. And Asuma.

"WHAT!" screamed Jiraiya.

_What?_ thought Hiruzen, running a hand over his face.

"W-what," mumbled Naruto before flopping down in place with a grunt, surrounded by wrecked stadium seating and slightly aggravated audience members.

"Mrow?" said Kieri.

"Arf?" said Akamaru.

_What_, thought every single reader of this story.

And Orochimaru smiled and glanced at the sun.

* * *

**Before you write me a pissed review:** I have been honest in saying I prefer to do the unexpected, and I bet NONE of you expected him to lose to _CHOJI_.

Mwah ha ha haaa.

But before you write me a pissed review, please understand: This is not the end of the story. Much like his failure to escape Haku's mirrors in time to save Sasuke in canon, he is failing now to set up for awesome later. That said, if you want to leave a pissed review at this point, ehh, go for it. I'll cut some slack on this one, having touched the Golden Calf and all. I can only hope that some of you got a good giggle out of the end of this chapter.

I originally intended to keep going this chapter with Hinata and Neji's fight, but I get the feeling that if I did without immediately explaining why I wrote what I did, I'd get a lot more honestly-pissed reviews.

Oh. And Jiraiya taught Naruto Meisaigakure no Jutsu, or Hiding in Camouflage Technique, something that I believe is Anime only. His wiki page only mentions the Hiding Technique, but to be honest, I cannot imagine a Sanin learning one and being unable to learn the other, assuming he didn't actually invent the technique for his research.

**MINI OMAKE**

**(...with which to amuse the anger out of you...)**

**SEMPAI! NOTICE ME!**

"Savage-sensei! Look at my creation!"

Adam looked down at Tory-kun's latest contraption, a new kunai covered in ragged edges. "It looks cool, Tory-kun, but what does it actually do?"

Tory looked down at the spiky blade in his hand. "The spikes are all needles that lead to an internal reservoir that depresses on impact to inject poison."

Adam nodded to himself, then in one move, picked up the oddly shaped kunai and threw it at one of the wooden posts scattered around their burn-covered training ground, Ground 1001, where it bounced pathetically and fell to the ground. "An interesting idea, Tory-kun, but the spikes are keeping the blade from digging into the target."

Tory frowned and looked away, but Adam gave to boy a pat on the back. "Remember, Belleci-san, failure is just nature's way of telling you to think some more about it. You would not believe how many models of the Iron Auto-Bow I went through before it stopped exploding. I noticed these jagged edges face towards the point. What if you tried repositioning them in other directions, to see what happens? Or maybe make it into a shuriken instead?"

Tory nodded cheerfully and scurried off to gather his weapon, only to flinch away when a brown blur passed him on the ground. The blur froze when it reached the kunai, revealing a small furry thing that looked like a brown furred snake that had been run through a grandfather clock until some of the parts stuck. The thing gave a hiss, grabbed the kunai, and took off towards its owner.

"Savage-sensei! Look at my creation!"

Grant had a small remote in his hands, and was gazing at his pet creation with unabashed joy as it weaved around the scattered detritus around training ground 1001, the results of previous tests. Adam felt impressed, until the thing suddenly shuddered and began running in a straight line, going over, under, and, in one case, through all obstacles before it. Grant sighed, collapsed the antenna on his controller, and marched after the device into the woods, looking for wherever it might have met with an object it could not surmount or destroy.

Adam had accepted the assignment from the Hokage to train his three students because of their… excitable nature. Adam was a tinkerer, a creator, a shinobi of a thousand devices. His research into explosive tags had resulted in an 8% increase in power by thickening one of the main lines in the design. He had experimented with the standard kunai they used in Konohagakure, and had determined that setting the pommel ring slightly off-center resulted in a smoother flight when flicked. Adam made small changes that made big differences.

That was not why he got _these_ students.

He got _these_ students because his Iron Auto-Bow could launched three foot projectiles almost a mile, accurate within a foot of the target area. He got _these_ students because of the small iron sphere he had stuffed with explosive tags and used to destroy almost a hundred feet of the Hokage's personal garden. He got _these_ students because he had entered his own Chunin exam armed with nothing but a small set of tools and came out with almost fifty weapons of various sorts, three forehead protectors from three different villages, a crater in the terrain large enough to become a permanent part of the landscape named after him, and a promotion.

The three genin of his were… unique in their own way. Belleci-san was famous amongst his classmates for both his durability and his willingness to test that durability however might be needed by his friends. Imahara-san completely failed to properly use the basic chakra techniques to become a genin, but passed none the less thanks to a device that distracted his teachers during each portion of the test, a series of small spring-powered devices covered in fur that would spring out at them and explode on command. He had no less than fifteen hidden in the room, and they had been hooked up to a timer that released them in the exact amount of time it took the teachers to tell him the next jutsu and be ready for him to test it.

And Byron-san…

Adam's thought processes stopped when the ground shook. Her turned to the forest in time to see a large metal blade slam into the ground from the undergrowth. The blade flexed, dragging the next bladed appendage into view. One by one, each new appendage appeared, pulling the large armored control sphere into view. The blades suddenly burst into flames from the oil being pumped onto them from the legs, and with a ratcheting sound, a remarkably good miniature version of Adam's own Iron Auto-Bow rotated below the sphere to aim at him. From a speaker on top of the sphere, Adam heard the chilling sound of Kari testing a new machine.

"Savage-sensi!" called the ominously high and cheerful voice within the sphere. "Look at _my_ creation!"

Byron-san was just _insane_.


	38. Delusionary Curse

Hiruzen sighed and signaled the proctor. As much as it pained him to damage the chances of promotion for a deserving shinobi, some things could not be permitted…

* * *

"What? How is that even possible!" shouted Jiraiya, jumping out of his seat. He had to shout loudly, to be heard over the sound of Asuma's crowing. "So he got tossed out of the arena, so what? They didn't say he couldn't leave the arena! He's still good to go!" Jiraiya stood up, waving his arms and shouting, only to get tugged back into his seat by Guy and Mioki.

"Jiraiya-sama, they had to do that," said Guy.

Beside him, Mioki nodded. "Think about it, Jiraiya," she said, gesturing to the remains of the multi-storey house in the middle of the arena, smashed nearly flat during the fight. "You shinobi are capable of demolishing houses with your fists, or bits of paper, or even mere wind. Civilians aren't nearly as tough as you are. An explosive tag might injure a shinobi, but it would kill a half dozen normal folk out of hand."

Jiraiya's jaw dropped as he looked at the two of them. "So? You… you wanted him to lose, didn't you? This was some orchestrated plan to ensure my student, my minion, my successor in perversion would fail!" He started to cry crocodile tears, big dramatic sobs coupled with sniffs that would have been quite cute from a little kid, but not so much from a six-foot wall of meat.

"Let us pretend he wasn't disqualified," said Guy thoughtfully, gently clasping Jiraiya's shoulder and shaking him gently. "Let's say he lands in the stands, and is still in the running, and they both know it. What happens next?"

Jiraiya stopped his cries and stared blankly for a moment. Mioki shook her head and pointed over to where Naruto had landed. "A ten foot section of stands over there becomes a crater when Choji misses his next attack." She trailed her finger to the side, as if tracing an image. "Naruto flees along the stands, and Choji follows, crushing an entire section… until the explosive tag Naruto left behind goes off."

"That... that's ludicrous," said Jiraiya, his voice slightly calmer. "Naruto and Choji would never do that."

"You know that," said Mioki, "and I know that, but the civilians do not know that. It would terrify them. Shinobi do not fight with honor, they fight to win. Anything is fair game for them usually, that's why they are so effective. Who cares if they use a civilian to further their aims? And then…" she took a deep, shuddering breath. "And then, they set a bad precedent. What happens when someone gets the smart idea of holding a noble lord hostage? Or using one as a shield? Screw hypotheticals, what happens during Gaara's next fight?"

Jiraiya stiffened in his seat, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the red-haired boy waiting in the competitor's section. After a moment, he nodded slowly, reluctantly. "The next time the little blood-crazed kid gets in the ring, he knows he won't get disqualified for leaving. He conveniently leaves the arena, goes into the civilian area, and promptly has an 'accident' on as many people as he can reach in one go."

Mioki nodded. Jiraiya frumphed to himself and crossed his arms, slumping into his seat. "I still think they're calling it earl- hey, wait! I get it!" Jiraiya stood and pointed dramatically at the arena. "The _real_ Naruto is still hiding in the arena!"

Mioki sighed and palmed her face, and it was on Asuma to help Guy drag the man back down. "They still have to disqualify him, Jiraiya," Asuma said, doing his best to hide his cheerful demeanor. "Even if it's not really him, it still sets precedence for jutsu leaving the arena. Look, the proctor didn't even need to consult with the Kage to call this one. He was already jumping into the arena when Naruto passed the wall."

Jiraiya crossed his arms again and slumped even harder, letting out an irritated grunt. "So disqualify both of them," he mumbled, without even the slightest sense of hope.

"Unyouthful as that decision feels, it is the right one," said Guy. "It gives a clear message that all participants are responsible for the civilians. Besides, I notice the next match has not started. I think the proctor is about to make a ruling along those lines."

Even as Guy said this, Hayate was jumping into the middle of the arena. He raised his hands and waved them down to calm the crowd, then coughed. "After a discussion with the Hokage, Kazekage, and the leader of Otogakure, it has been decided: While the removal of a contestant from the arena was accidental by nature, that is not a sufficient excuse for putting the lives of our visitors at risk. Therefor, while Uzumaki Naruto has been disqualified for leaving the arena, Akimichi Choji is also disqualified for forcing his opponent to leave the arena. It will be noted as a loss for both contestants, and neither will progress further in the exam. The next match will begin shortly."

"What? How is that even possible!" shouted Asuma, jumping out of his seat.

Down on the arena floor, Choji smiled glumly while he held his arm close to his body, waiting for the medics to finish preparing a splint. _At least I don't have to quit on Asuma-sensei to avoid fighting with a broken arm._

* * *

Kakashi made his way to the circle of damaged seats and looked down at Naruto, who looked up at him and grinned sheepishly. Kakashi made a tsk-tsk sound from behind his mask, but could not stop the wry grin that spread across his masked face. "Lost on a technicality," he said cheerfully.

Naruto shrugged, and his grin didn't waver.

Kakashi reached down and helped the boy up, giving him a friendly pat on the back. "Just had to show off, didn't you, Naruto? Literally capable of beating your opponent down without them seeing a thing, and you drop the hiding jutsu to deliver an attack. That's as bad as calling the attack's name."

The boy gave a nervous chuckle. "Sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I can't quite do the Rasengan while maintaining the other jutsu yet. I thought the remaining clones would keep him busy… then he palm faced me." Kakashi palmed his own face, and Naruto laughed. "Yeah, like that, only the other way around."

Kakashi couldn't help it. He laughed, if only slightly. "Well, just remember, you aren't disqualified for losing. You might have done good enough to impress the Hokage."

Naruto waved that thought away. "Yeah, yeah, save it for a different chump. I screwed up. I should have knifed him in the back a few times when he couldn't see... " Naruto's words petered out when he saw the look Kakashi had on his face. "It's a joke, Kakashi-sensei! You know I'm not going to knife the competition! Yeesh."

The boy shook his head. "Look, I had a few options, but they all sucked. I could flood him with explosive tags, but they had little effect on him in ball mode, so to get him, I'd have to use enough to risk his life. I can't put him in a headlock, he'd go super sized and bust out, same if I tried to hold him up by knifepoint. I could pound on him with invisible clones until he quit or fell down, which would be great at showing off brute force and nothing else.

"To be honest, even the Rasengan was a bad choice, because I've seen what it can do, and it would hurt at best and kill at worst. I think I have control down enough to just injure people, like pervy sage showed me, but… my chakra control has never been all that good. If Choji's arm had been normal sized, I'd have been worried about him losing it when I hit it after he grabbed me. I actually was kinda worried when he tossed me. I dropped it the moment I felt the hit, but it still had time to do some damage. I was in a fight I really don't want to cripple someone over, against someone I consider a friend, for something I can take again in a few months. I'm not happy… but if he's gonna be okay, I'll be content."

Naruto stood straight, a glint in his eye and a huge grin on his face, and he did his best youthful pose at the still-grumbling civilians. "Just wait," he shouted to the crowd around him. "This time, I got tossed out! Next time, I'll be that much stronger! It might take more time, but I'll get that vest, and eventually, that hat! Believe it!" He glanced at his feet, then back at the crowd, and started to rub the back of his neck. "Just… ummm… maybe get seats a little further back next time."

Kakashi smiled. The crowd laughed, yes, but that laughter was cheerful and good-natured, and there were more than a few cheers mixed in with it. He'd come expecting to have to prop his student's mood up, only to watch him bounce back even from this disappointment.

_Good for you, kid._

"Come on," said Kakashi, leading the boy away, "We'll go join Jiraiya, and you two can tell me about how your trip went." He looked down at his student, who was following him and waving to the crowd, and leaned down close to the boy's ear. "You put your friend over your chance of promotion. I'm proud of you, Naruto. And I bet your parents would be too."

Naruto smiled that much harder as he waved to the crowd.

* * *

Neji and Hinata both walked out onto the field when called for, and they calmly walked up the side of the freshly-rebuilt fake building together. Both were quiet, poised, stoic… and both were smiling all the same.

When they reached the top, they took their positions and bowed to each other, then to the Kage's box.

It was slightly comforting for Hinata, seeing the Hokage smile slightly at her and nod his head politely to the two genin. The insolent wave of a hand from Orochimaru, like some bored courtier, shattered that feeling moments later. Hinata bit her lip slightly and turned away, determined to think nothing of the crowd, or those who were watching.

Well… except for one of them.

She thought she could hear him cheering.

"I won't go easy," said Neji, already in position.

Hinata smiled. Her cousin was still a somewhat severe person, but when he said those words, there was determination and focus instead of hate and loathing. He would fight just as hard, but at the end of the day, he would still be… well, not happy, but not angry either. It was a start. _And with any luck_, she thought, _it will end today._

"I expect no less, Neji-sensei," she said, putting her arms up into her regular stance.

Neji smiled, just the smallest twitch of his lip. Then Hayate shouted, and they began to move, their eyes activating before the first step was taken.

Neji charged.

Hinata stepped back.

She did not wait for him to reach her before she began to fall back, stepping away almost as quickly as he stepped forward, and rush as he might, Neji could not move that much faster than her without leaving himself open. With each step back she took, he struck at her. Sometimes, she deflected the blow. Sometimes, the blow fell short, Neji reaching his full extension just as she stepped back.

Neji smirked, diving into a roll to get at her legs. Hinata reacted not with a jump, but with her own roll to the side, rising to her feet at the same time as Neji and continuing their dance. _I won't make the mistake Kabuto did_, she thought as she dodged. She had been talking to her father during the previous month, whenever the three of them were not training together, asking him about anything she thought might be relevant. One of the things that had stuck in her mind from his stories as an active shinobi was that ninja in the air are vulnerable. Some may have ways of changing their trajectory or speed mid-jump, but most of them, once they left the ground, were trapped following an easily-predictable arc until they landed, and usually in a specific orientation that left them vulnerable somewhere.

Neji was starting to puff slightly, and he stopped advancing to glare at her.

Hinata immediately stopped moving herself, but her breathing was even.

"Tiring me out won't help you, Hinata-san. Eventually, you'll have to make your move, and we both know I'll win with my counter."

Hinata nodded and did not debate that. In their time training together, Neji had shown her just how outclassed she had been. He had thrown himself into his training instead of away from it in the past, and his passion to prove himself had pushed his skills well beyond his age group. During their spars, he always managed to win once she went on the offensive.

"True, Neji. But you still have to hit me."

He nodded, acknowledging her point, and even as he did so he lunged, tucking into another roll.

Hinata stepped forward and brutally kneed him in the face as he began to rise.

The crowd was shocked silent at the sudden change from graceful dance to gutter-level brawling, save for a cheer from Ino and Lee from the stands and another from Naruto.

Neji's head snapped back, and he tumbled backwards. Midway through the tumble, he turned it into a roll and came smoothly to his feet, well out of reach, his arms out and ready to defend himself.

Hinata stood patiently, exactly where she had been before she struck.

After a momentary standoff, Neji broke his stance long enough to reach up and wipe the blood from his nose. He looked at it for a moment, then laughed and shook his head. "Okay, even I can admit, you got me on that one," he said. He lowered himself into a defensive stance. "Maybe I should force you into attacking, instead. You can't win if you don't attack."

She did not move. "Neji, I know you stayed up late yesterday, getting a little more training in with my father. I declined that same offer, and went to bed early. Do you know why?"

Neji shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing in curiosity.

Hinata smiled. "I did so, so I knew I was better rested than you. My mission for this fight is to win, not to win quickly, and they never gave us a time limit. I am quite content to wait however long it takes for you to simply pass out, either from lack of sleep or exhausting yourself trying to hit me." She reached behind her back and pulled out a little clear tube and shook it at him cheerfully, showing off the military ration pills within. "Unlike you, Neji-niisan, I do have all day."

Neji sighed and rubbed his temples. Military ration pills contained ingredients that worked to replenish energy, as well as several powerful stimulants. A person taking a ration pill could stay up all night, and shinobi were taught that they can stay awake for up to three days by taking them successively. At the end of that time, she would crash terribly, but he would long have since dropped himself, because he had seen no reason to carry such a thing into an arena fight.

"Fine," he said, raising out of his stance. "You really want to do this the hard way, I'll go for it, but you brought it on yourself. You're not the only one who got some training outside of the gentle fist." He brought his hands together and sped through a quick set of seals, then opened his mouth and spewed fire at the Hyuuga heiress.

Hinata stepped to one side, spinning gracefully, and did not stop moving as Neji continued to shoot fireballs at her; but unlike the previous moments, now Hinata was the one working hard to keep even. Neji stuck with low-powered attacks, spending the minimum chakra necessary to make the flames dangerous, and several times, he faked Hinata out, holding the breath for a moment longer, timing it to be released just as she finished her first evasion and forcing her to start to run and jump away vigorously.

Soon, Hinata was sweating, both from her own efforts to evade, and from the heat of the fire, which was slowly getting closer and closer as she grew tired and lost some of her speed. She started to be more precise in her dodging, allowing the fireballs to pass mere inches from her instead of moving further aside, trying to conserver her flagging energy.

_Her mistake_, thought Neji. He subtly took a deep breath, and the next fireball he shot at her was huge, three times the size of his previous attempts, as he finally let loose a full-powered attack. The fireball, fully the size of Neji himself, sailed out at Hinata.

Hinata, unprepared, did not dodge far enough.

The flames washed over here, and she fell to the ground, screaming, holding her face in her hands. Neji was there in an instant, arms raised. "Yield, Hinata. Let us get you to a medic. You fought well. Don't make me crush you."

She raised her head.

The crowd winced, as did Neji.

"H-how could y-you…" she whimpered, tears rolling down her face.

What was left of her face.

The entire right side of her face had been burnt, the skin cracked and blackened. Blood and clear liquid dripped from the burn, and her face flexed unnaturally as she spoke. That eye was now a milky white, unmoving even as she tried to look up at him.

"H-how could y-you, N-neji! N-now he'll never l-l…." Her head bent down again, covering her face with her hands, and her silent tears gave way to racking sobs and muffled words.

Neji shook his head, uncertain what to say. What apology could make up for this? What oath? What act could ever repay her injuries? He knelt down in front of her, and she raised her hands trying to ward him off blindly. He brushed her hair back gently to try and look her in the eye, to say something, anything… her hair...

Her _unburnt_ hair.

A cold chill passed through Neji, right about the same time Hinata's wildly groping hands made sudden and precise contact with his shoulders.

"You are in range of my divination, cousin," she said, her voice suddenly cheerful. She raised her head once more, a smile on her unmarred lips and a spark in her unharmed eyes.

What happened next was a blur to most of the audience… but to every Hyuuga watching, it was a demonstration. Hinata did not miss, did not err. Her every strike was as precise as any Hyuuga could want, her touch light, and the effects devastating. Every Hyuuga watched as Hinata systematically shut Neji's chakra network down.

And finally, Neji fell, his body rendered useless.

"That was cold," he said, face down on the ground, his voice muffled. "That was very cold, pretending to be crippled. And as much as I want to be angry at you for it, I can't help but feel a little impressed. How did you do it?"

Hinata reached down and rolled Neji on his back, then knelt next to him so he could see her. "A simple henge, cousin." She held out her arms, revealing the burn marks on her coat, and the occasional hole leading to a burn on her arm itself. "I took the hit and faked a worse injury to draw you in. I then did my best to act like I used to, like I was broken. I knew you had a heart, Neji." She smiled down at him.

Neji grunted, then grunted again, and soon he was laughing.

He stopped when Hinata reached down and removed his forehead protector. "What are you doing?" he asked, trying to move away.

She set the protector down and leaned over. "Do you think you can trust me, Neji-kun? Do you trust that our goals are the same? Do you trust that I am competent?"

Neji stared at her for a moment, then grunted in agreement.

"Then trust me now," she said, raising her hands in a familiar hand seal.

The hand seal to activate the Hyuga Cursed Mark.

His forehead flared in sudden pain, and his body shook as he struggled to grasp at the seal, his body instinctively trying to end a pain it could not reach. Neji clenched his teeth and watched as Hinata leaned forward, her eyes narrowing, and after an infinite moment of pain beyond measure, her hands lashed out, all ten of her fingers striking his forehead at once.

The pain stopped, to be replaced by a sensation Neji could not explain, like the feeling of a cool breeze passing through his mind.

There was a curious muttering of the crowd, and the sound of sudden movement as every Hyuuga stood as one. Every Hyuga but Hiashi, who was sitting quietly and stoically, as appropriate for a clan head of his stature.

Hinata sat back, looking up at the stands where her family was standing. "You have been lied to, cousin," she said, loudly, her voice carrying enough to be picked up by the cameras. "They say that they seal away the siblings of the heir to the clan. This happens as soon as the heir in confirmed. In my case, they claim they have not yet sealed my sister because they thought I might be unfit to lead. Having won, I expect they would have sealed her this very night."

She looked down at her cousin, and her face was neither soft and gentle, but angry. "You are also told the mark is irreversible, and only fades in death.."

The Hyuga in the stands shuffled, and some of them began to glare. One elder stepped forward, raising a hand. "Stop, Hinata. You will not speak of this."

"Come down here and stop me," she called out.

The man frowned and started to move forward.

"Come down, in front of our village, our country, and the world, and show them that we have a secret so terrible, you must beat me down before them to silence me," she shouted, pointing at the screen above her, which immediately switched from a view of her in the arena to a nice close-up of the elder in question.

"You can ask, you can plead, you can shout. You can do all of that. But nobody but the head of the clan can order my silence." She smiled. "Go ahead. Tell him to give that order."

Hisashi did not wait for the elder to speak. "The world is watching," he said, his face a picture of calm. "They already know we have a secret. They will seek the answers. Which would be worse, to deflect them as long as we can, to make them suspicious and fearful, to let the secret fester, or to let the secret go, to lance the boil and drain it in the hopes that it will heal?" He crossed his hands on his lap and turned away from his daughter to look at the family behind him. "I will not give such a foolish order. Sit, listen, learn."

The Hyuga sat, save for the elder, who was glaring daggers at Hiashi. "You cannot do this, Hiashi!"

Hiashi stood and whirled, his face still calm but his stance aggressive. "That is Hiashi-sama to you. Or do you forget that I head the clan, Oshi-san? This is not a democracy. The clan head has held absolute power since our inception. To keep the peace, we often pander to politics, but the decision is mine, as is the order. Sit, listen, learn. Quietly." Hiashi turned back and sat down calmly.

For a moment, Oshi's mask slipped, his face twisting into a grimace, and he took a step towards Hiashi. He stopped only when his wife took hold of his arm and pulled him up short. She glared at him silently, and after a moment, his mask returned, and he sat quietly in his seat.

Hiashi nodded for his daughter to continue.

She stood and turned fully to her family, her voice rising. "If Hanabi were sealed, and I died on a mission, what would they do? Make a branch member, who could be easily controlled through threats from any main branch member, the head of the clan? Who would ever use such a system, where the loss of a single person would end the line of succession?"

Neji struggled, his arms moving slightly, until he was able to prop himself up slightly.

"Nobody would," said Hinata, turning back to her cousin. "To have a leader so easily manipulated would be foolish. We can see chakra flow, and we can end it. There is no reason for us to ever be trapped by such a seal without sealing our eyes. So they lied. For generations, they told you that the seal could not be removed, and everyone believed them. The seal can be removed, and I will not be a part of the enslavement of my kin."

She turned once more and bowed low to her father. "Hiashi-sama, I have failed the clan and given away a most terrible secret. For that, I will accept any punishment you see fit."

Hiashi stood, his face stern. "You have indeed done a terrible thing, revealing the sins of our clan to the world. No punishment can be severe enough for what you have done… so any punishment would be a waste of effort."

Oshi jumped to his feet, and there was no more mask of civility for him. "She destroys our clan's way of life, and you do nothing?" he bellowed, pointing a finger at Hiashi. "I will see you removed! I will see your daughter removed! Your line ends here, Hiashi, mark my words!"

Hiashi turned in his chair, and a small smile crossed his face. "Of course, that is your right, Oshi-san. You merely have to call upon the clan to make a unified decision. All of the clan."

Oshi shut his mouth with a click and seethed. Hiashi had not been subtle, and damn the man, he was right. To remove a clan head would practically require the support of enough of the clan to ensure any rebellion would fail… and the Branch family substantially outnumbered the Main family.

Hiashi turned back in his seat, and this time, he looked up at the camera that was focused on him. "With the secret revealed, there is no more purpose in the Cursed Seal. It would only serve as a tool to control our family as slaves, which is obscene. I hereby order, as head of the clan, that the seal shall be removed from all members of the Hyuga Branch family. I also order that its use shall be banned within my lifetime, with one exception. The seal may still be used on those who have committed treason. Additionally, any attempt to subvert these two rulings will be considered treason, and the transgressor will receive the Cursed Seal to ensure the safety of the rest of the clan. So it has been ruled." He turned to the Hokage, who had been sitting quietly, letting the drama play out, and nodded. "I apologize for holding up the exam with our family squabble, Hokage-sama. Please forgive us."

Hiruzen nodded gracefully, a smile on his lips, and then shot a significant glance at Hayate. The man shook himself out of a stupor and raised his hand. "Winner, Hyuga Hinata," he shouted.

The crowd cheered.

They cheered as the medics carted Neji away.

They cheered as Hinata walked out of the arena.

They were still cheering when she walked into the doorway, let out a deep breath, and promptly fainted.

* * *

Kakashi leaned over and whispered in Naruto's ear after the boy stopped cheering for Hinata's win. "Naruto, I have something important to tell you."

Naruto sat and leaned in, and whispered back, "Yeah, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Don't listen to a single thing Jiraiya says if he finds out about that little date you promised that girl. I get the feeling she might snap and do terrible things to you, if you follow his advice."

Kakashi sat back and enjoyed the warmth from Naruto's sudden and deep blush, watching his face morph from curiosity to fear and back again, doing his best not to laugh.

_Having little genin is fun. Who knew?_

* * *

Kurenai sat back, a large smile on her face and barely-restrained tears in her eye.

"Proud?" asked Asuma, reaching an arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze.

"Like you would not believe," she replied.

* * *

"A most interesting drama, Hokage-san," said Orochimaru from his seat. "I thank you for your patience in letting it play out. It was quite enlightening to observe."

Hiruzen grunted. He could guess about Orochimaru's interest in the matter. The downside to the loss of the cursed mark was that theft of the Hyuga's precious dojutsu would be easier now… but there were always ways around the mark. Hiruzen knew of at least one distant shinobi who had managed to steal an eye during the last war. In the end, the risk was not so much worse than before.

Rasa, meanwhile, grunted in distaste. "I don't have that same patience, myself. Such a thing would not happen in my land, with my people. I would ensure it."

"Speaking of your people," said Orochimaru, leaning forward slightly, "I would like to make a suggestion to you, Lord Kazekage, Lord Hokage. If I may?"

The two Kage shared a glance, and Rasa nodded.

"Your shinobi… Gaara, was it? He is singularly powerful. Almost as if he were a monster." Orochimaru grinned at Rasa, who glared in return. "I half suspect he will easily overpower his further opponents. So much so, that it would be murder to send these other genin against him alone. Why not have them all fight at once?"

Hiruzen frowned. "Three against one seems unsporting," he said, his mind clicking along as fast as possible. _What do you want, snake?_

"Now, now, it makes sense, Lord Hokage," said Orochimaru, his smile unwavering. "If you send them one at a time, he will eat them. But when they inevitably team against him, they will probably have a chance to at least survive when they lose."

Hiruzen was silent, glaring at Orochimaru and trying to think, but all that came to mind was the sinking sensation that the sanin might be right. From what he had seen, Gaara would kill the others in a solo fight. Hiruzen wanted nothing more than to declare Gaara the winner and spare their lives… except that would be a fate worse than death for most of them, to have their Hokage state publicly that he had no faith in them. Doing so would also be quite a large blow to Konohagakure's business by implying that the village's leader would back down from danger rather than risk someone's life.

He suspected Hinata would give up if in danger. For all her talk earlier, Hiruzen doubted she was quite as brave as she had acted. If anything, he wondered if the entire thing was scripted between her and her father, and if so, he blessed them for it.

He hoped Sasuke would give up. The boy had something to prove, but he also had a lot of common sense. If his attacks failed, Hiruzen thought Sasuke would give up rather than die.

He suspected Sakura would not get the chance. With her reliance on surprise attacks and tactics, Hiruzen was deeply worried she would set herself up for a devastating all-out attack, only to be stopped and slaughtered by the Suna kid's sand.

Hiruzen would not order the three of them to fight Gaara in the real world, not even as a group, unless doing so might save more lives than their own inevitable deaths. But in this sort of setting, as a group, they might be able to cover each other's escape when they realized they were outclassed.

He turned to face Rasa. "The idea has merit, but it is your shinobi being outnumbered."

Rasa shrugged. "I have no objection. I doubt he'll be harmed, and I can understand a desire to avoid getting genin killed without any sort of gain. It helps that my son will win a three-to-one fight, as well."

That would be a blow against Konohagakure's own business interests… but so would having all three of their top chunin potentials being slaughtered mercilessly.

Hiruzen stood and waved over Hayate, with only one thought still running through his head. _Why would Orochimaru suggest this?_

Behind Hiruzen, Orochimaru smiled.

He didn't bother checking the sun. He no longer needed to.

* * *

"As ordered by the Hokage, and as approved by the Kazekage, the next match with be the final match, a free-for-all between the four remaining genin. The Hokage has granted a half hour window for you to change your bets accordingly."

Sasuke and Sakura shared a look, then looked at Kakashi.

"Should we fight?" asked Sasuke. "If the Kazekage agreed to what will be a three-to-one match without complaint, it sounds like a really bad idea to participate."

Kakashi shrugged. "That is up to you. I have no say in this. I will tell you, however, that if you go into this fight, I want you to be ready to take a dive at any moment. It is only an exam. I don't want you dead because you wanted to prove a point."

Kakashi turned to Sakura specifically. "Nothing too fancy. Don't let him corner you, don't engage him in melee if you can help it. And I highly suggest keeping your cats out of this one. Getting your summons crippled is a good way to lose their support."

Sakura nodded and glanced down at Kieri, who nodded in return and started to wander off in search of entertainment. "Come on," she said, grabbing Sasuke's arm and pulling him away. "We need to find Hinata and make a plan."

* * *

**A/N: **And here is the promised and quickly released explaination as to why leaving the arena is bad... for both parties.

I am deeply amused, as always, by how divided the reviews were for the last chapter. A lot of you commented that you got a good laugh out of it. A few of you were reasonably upset. Also amusing, many of the more upset reviews were not angry he lost, but angry he lost to _**Choji?!**_ I know, right? Didn't see that one coming!

Sorry no MythNinjas this time.

**depressed children** asked if Naruto was literally invisible. Yes. They also pointed out that there was no written reaction from the other shinobi, along the lines of "Oh, shit." That was admittedly an oversight. I'll add that in in a day or so, Yes, you can assume that there was quite a bit of that reaction, although I get the impression that in the shinobi world, spies are as grains of sand on the beach. But she sheer scale and mastery of this dick move by trollrochimaru does deserve a reaction. Thanks.

**krikr** brought up a few points, but one I specifically want to address, the cost of summoning things. Based on Naruto's early attempts as summoning, I have made two assumptions. First, you get out of it what you put into it, and second, volume is what determines the cost in chakra. I found no mention of how it all works, so I just decided to roll with the impression I got from the show.

**Andril** literally said, "Angry review you asked for." I got a good laugh out of it. Thank you.

**urbvnty** asked why the clones did not use their momentum to send Naruto back into the ring. In this case, for two reasons. First, Naruto was surprised and worried about how bad he might have hurt a friend. Second, momentum does not work like that. If he summons a clone, there are two possible ways it might appear. In the first, it is traveling at the same speed and direction as he is, which is depicted in the anime. The second is that they appear at a fixed location and with no inherent movement. In the first option, the best the clone could do would be to kick sideways and redirect Naruto, and while in theory he could keep doing that until his momentum ended, the time and power invested in that would be mind boggling, especially once he lost most of his momentum and had to reverse direction. In the second option, Naruto grabs the clone, which slows him down... and also makes him plummet at the ground that much sooner. The clone pulls at the original, trying to throw him, but because their mass is the same, and because he has nothing to brace against, the result is laughably minimal. Again, could be overcome with enough time and chakra, but because the clones appear with no momentum at all, they have even less to work with. Both options would take a lot of clones, each one timed exactly right so they never came close to a civilian. I am not even certain Naruto could stay off of the stands with this, because I have a passing knowledge of physics and thus do not know the math.

Several folks, including **Death276**, brought up the lethality of the Rasengan. I referred each of them to the moment when Jiraiya demonstrates the technique on a (EDIT: former chunin) at the water balloon stand, who survives with minimal damage. I suspect it scales with the chakra used, like most jutsu.

**Okiro Benihime** mentioned that fully 15 chapters have been dedicated to the exams. To which I reply, "you did watch or read Naruto, right?" It was a long ass section. And while I would love nothing more than to have deep sixed the entire chunin exam arc in exchange for anything that was not a friggen arena battle story, I could not find a way to justify not having/entering the exams that did not involve world shattering events or cheap theatrics to dodge it. Trust me, I feel the pain. It suuuuucks writing the damned Exam Arc. But it's the jumping point for the series, and I felt it would be best to do it before moving on.


	39. From the Darkness, It Speaks

"I'm sorry."

Naruto kept glancing at the floor, only to look up at Choji again, usually at the big-boned boy's arm. The medic-nin had swapped the splint for a full cast, which ran from the boy's hand to just past the elbow, immobilizing the arm almost entirely.

The large genin shrugged, then grimaced when the movement jostled his arm. "It's okay, Naruto," he said, his voice cheerful in spite of the pain. "You got me fair and square, and it's not like I won't heal. The medic says it's a line fracture, it'll only take a few days to heal with their help. They could have done it without the cast, but they seemed very worried they would need all their chakra for healing after the final fight."

They both shuddered. Neither one had forgotten what had happened in the Forest of Death. Choji may not have seen it, but he still got the chills just from how Naruto had reacted when his clone gave him the memory of Gaara slaughtering another team.

Naruto glanced at the door leaving the medical ward, his gaze unfocused, distant. Choji reached out with his good arm and gave Naruto a pat on the shoulder. "They'll be fine," he said, trying to keep the mood light. "I'm sure they'll give up before they get hurt."

Naruto nodded… but he did not agree.

* * *

Hiruzen noticed that his fellow leaders were slowly changing their mannerisms as they waited for the final match.

Rasa was acting nervous. He carried his end of the conversation well enough, but with every word he got more and more distracted. He kept looking at the arena floor, where his son Gaara stood. The boy had come out the moment the final match had been announced, and was simply standing there, waiting. He had ignored the wooden structure being raised in the middle, not even watching as the single ANBU had made a few seals and started growing it out of the ground in front of him. Not once had the boy turned to look at his father, and yet Rasa kept glancing at the boy.

Orochimaru was distracted too, but where Rasa acted nervous, the Sannin seemed to be growing excited. Hiruzen had trouble accepting the very idea. Orochimaru had never shown excitement before, not over a new jutsu, not over the prospect of a mission. Nothing. It was almost alarming, seeing Orochimaru slowly edging forward in his seat, one tiny move at a time, like a child expecting a present.

"You look ready to hop into the ring yourself, Orochimaru," the Hokage said with a wry smile, his eyes watching every move of his former student as he spoke.

Orochimaru sat up slightly, and for a moment, he gave the impression of embarrassment. But his sardonic smile came back, and he waved a hand dismissively. "I would be lying if I said I was not looking forward to this match. This very match might determine the future of our various villages, one way or another."

"You hardly have a stake in this," grumbled Rasa, who had returned to staring at his son.

"On the contrary," said the Sannin. "True, I have no genin in the test… at least not any more." He ignored Hiruzen's glower and carried on. "But this whole thing will certainly change the world in small ways, and what goes around comes around. The three of us are at war, a war of economics, and I have good cause to believe I shall win this match."

He pointed down at the arena where Gaara was waiting. "I imagine that your boy there will win, and in doing so, he will crush his foes viciously. Between his own bloodthirst and his obvious disdain for authority, however, I get the feeling that his win will push away those who might want shinobi for purposes other than wholesale slaughter. Why hire a creature who will gladly kill as it sees fit, and thus risk drawing its attention?"

He pointed again, this time to one side where the three Konohagakure genin were coming out of the competitors' doorway. "And if they win, then it will be good for you, Hokage, because they will live… but it will have taken three of Konoha's genin to match Suna's one. And while Konohagakure pushes teamwork, not everyone wants to pay for a team."

He leaned back, a large smirk on his face, and closed his eyes to bask in the sun like his namesake. "And then there is me, the up and coming leader of a small and new village. I have no remaining competitors… but the one I had was so deep in Konohagakure ranks that he reached the exams without notice. I am famed for my efficiency and cunning. When the winner makes their village look like a failure, where will the business go? To the loser? Or to the unknown who managed to sneak his people right out of the most powerful village of them all?" He opened one eye and gave Hiruzen a cheeky wink, then slouched and basked in the warm glow of both the sun and the fury of his two fellow leaders.

"I hope your genin win," he said, turning his face toward the Hokage without opening his eyes. "You've already lost this round, when it comes to our little battle of wits. At least if they win, they live. It's a sort of victory, yes?"

Hiruzen grumbled and leaned forward in his seat, looking down at the place where the fate of villages was often decided, and mentally cursed his wayward former student.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" asked Sakura, palming a small roll of paper and looking at Sasuke, her eyes alight with adrenaline and fear and above all else a passion to win.

Sasuke nodded. "We can't take him with brute force. Hitting him is likely impossible, and both of you are focused mostly on taijutsu and short-range techniques. This is about the only chance we have."

Hinata tapped her fingers, a nervous habit that still made its way out from time to time, then seemed to notice her actions and let her hands fall to her sides. "What if this does not work?" she asked, putting voice to the thought they all shared.

Sasuke shrugged and pulled down his goggles as they reached the door into the arena. "Then we do what our sensei said and quit. Dead genin are even less useful than disgraced genin."

* * *

Gaara didn't even bother looking at all three of the genin opposing him, arrayed with one at each corner of the roof. His eyes fell only on one target, driven by his Mother's will.

The one with the dark hair and white eyes was almost dripping with delicious fear. Normally, Mother would have been slavering to get at her, but for now, Mother did not care.

The one in pink was tightening her gloves. Her pet was missing, and by the look in her eyes, that was probably intentional. Gaara figured she would fight hard, but when the time came, she'd scream and beg like the rest. Mother liked screaming, but for now, Mother didn't care.

The one with the black hair and goggles held all of Mother's attention. He looked like the sort of self-confident shinobi who thought they knew everything. Gaara had watched the boy's previous matches, and knew he had a solid grasp of tactics and a great deal of self-assurance. The girls might scream, but this boy, this "Sasuke," would feel true horror when Mother got him in her murderous grasp.

His breath came in eager gasps and he waited for the proctor to start the match. His father had threatened dire punishments if he overstepped his bounds during this trip, but as for that…

He looked up, for the first time since the break was announced, and met the eyes of his father. He then gave the older man a big, happy grin before returning his attention to his targets. _He won't stand in my way this time,_ he thought, his grin only growing as Mother growled her assent.

The proctor raised his hand… and then dropped it.

Gaara's sand whirled about him, one great blast of sand, raised to deflect the inevitable kunai every shinobi launched. But he saw no attack, and after a moment, the sand settled into a ring on the floor around him, revealing his still unmoving foes.

"Well?" he asked, staring at them. "I know you three are going to try and take me out first. Why delay? I'm waiting! Prove my existence!" He raised his hands, his sand flying up with his command and flowing towards the boy, then stopped.

The boy still had not moved. Neither had the girls.

_More fakes! More illusions! Even the boy will not stand and face me!_

"No," said Gaara, shaking his head as most of his sand started to collect in the middle of the roof. "No, we're not playing this game. I'm not going to follow you into the building for you to trap and play tag with me. I'm tired of waiting, tired of hiding, and _so_ tired of holding back. I want _blood_, damn you! _Mother_ wants blood! And she'll _have_ it!" He raised his arms high, and the sand pulled itself into the air, forming a large wedge. "NO! MORE! HIDING!"

The wedge did not split the building. It obliterated it.

It drove through the roof like it was made of wax. The moment it entered the building, it fanned out into a huge windmill, scything through the walls and scattering wood across almost the entire floor of the arena. The entire structure collapsed downward, one floor at a time, with Gaara slowly floating down on a small cloud of sand amidst the sounds of destruction.

When he got to the last floor, he let his sand enter, but he waited for the three to exit the building before he finished its destruction. Mother didn't want shredded husks. She wanted a fight! She wanted blood and life to be infused into her own body! _They will not die to some random hunk of wood, and deny Mother the pleasure of killing them herself!_

Gaara landed softly on the ground and didn't so much as blink when the girl in pink darted in on all fours to try and get a hit in, something his sand deflected without instruction or effort. She dodged around the sand, trying to find a gap, but the sand kept up, and her frustrated grunts with each blocked strike filled him with pleasure.

The pink girl made an extra-hard strike, and in the moment when his sand was focused on the force of her blow, the purple girl darted in on the other side. She was fast, but his sand was faster. Her strikes were very light, and she hit several times for each strike the pink one landed. Each blow caused a tiny portion of the sand to fall in a clump on the ground as the chakra was pushed out of it.

Gaara just smirked and called the sand back into the shield, reinforcing the very holes she was trying to knock out. Then his smile fell into a grimace when, through a gap in the sand, he saw Sasuke doing nothing. And that smirk on the boy's face was so _smug_...

_No matter,_ he thought, as his sand swirled around him, blocking every attack. _That'll just please Mother that much more when he falls._

* * *

It took all of Sasuke's willpower to stand still and watch his teammate and the Hyuga girl attacking the sand that was swirling around Gaara. He remained in place, carefully molding his chakra one tiny bit at a time and letting it fly away with one of his kikaichu.

_Stick with the plan,_ he kept thinking with each little package released. _Stick with the plan._

He watched Hinata and Sakura carefully as they struck fruitlessly at the impenetrable barrier before them, and with his perfect clarity, he saw when each one hit just a little lighter and a little longer than usual, especially Hinata, who was far better at disguising her touches as attacks.

Then they both disengaged, jumping away, and Sakura smiled as she raised her hand in the snake seal, detonating the tags she had been planting on the ground around the redhead. Then the center of the arena exploded, a great ball of fire that blasted the smashed remains of the building across the arena and made the earth vibrate under their feet.

The smoke cleared quickly to reveal Gaara standing calmly, the sand forming a shell around him, which slowly broke off into separate clumps the piled around his body. "Pathetic," he said quietly, his voice laden with scorn. "Simply pathetic. To know you have watched Mother's defense several times, and then think that something as simple as _more force_ would work? You're barely worth the effort… but Mother still hungers." He raised his hand, and his sand raised with it.

_Do it, you bastard, do it!_

"Goodbye," said Gaara, spreading out his hand with a look of bored indifference.

His sand lashed out in a series of bands, whipping through the air, each one at a different angle and a different speed. Hinata and Sakura dodged back, carefully avoiding the tendrils. They continued to fall back, the sand chasing them as they separated, retreating fully for the walls of the arena. Only a tiny fraction of his sand remained to guard him.

_Now!_

Sasuke pushed his chakra down into the nest, weaving it around the queen and touching her in a specific pattern. In response, she released her pheromones, sending out the general order to all outside of the nest to rise and line up as instructed. The line of insects that Sasuke had carefully released and directed into place began to hum, and rose out of the dirt to hover between him and Gaara.

Sasuke began his hand seals, pulling the mass of chakra he had gathered and focusing it on his right hand. The chidori burst into life, the electrical tendrils reaching out, seeing a way to ground itself, only his own chakra and technique keeping it at hand. And when those tendrils found the first insect in the line, filled with his own chakra, it took only the smallest push to transfer the attack to it.

Electricity was dangerous to a shinobi for one reason, speed. Unlike every other element, no natural force slowed down lightning. Earth had to defeat its own lack of momentum, water had problems with turbulence, even fire and air had to work against air pressure. Electricity was almost instant, with but a single significant flaw, a natural inclination to ground itself as effectively as possible.

But the chidori was not natural. It was a chakra construct, inner power given form. And while the electricity was drawn to the earth, the chakra was easily drawn to itself. The power of the chidori touched the first insect and jumped. That insect burst into flames, practically exploding with the power coursing through it. But by then, the power had moved on to the next insect, aimed by the previous one in its last moments of life and drawn by the chakra within the next in line.

One by one, in but a blink of an eye, the chidori followed the line of insects. To the observers, even the shinobi, there was a single moment of brilliant light suddenly arcing at Gaara. Even for the most trained jonin in the stands, even to the Kage themselves, the light could barely be tracked. Only one thing in the arena was faster: the sand at Gaara's feet. It rose before him in a floating shield, blocking the light completely.

Then the light passed through the shield, arcing into the redhead himself. Gaara screamed as the electricity coursed through him, not a lance of piercing power, but raw energy grounding itself naturally after coming to the end of its journey. His sand shield slumped to the ground, as did he.

Hinata had planted one hundred and thirty insects in Gaara's sand.

Out of those, twelve had died on impact, accidentally squished between her fingertips and the sand. Sixty-four had died when the clumps of sand they were riding dropped to the ground. A further thirty-nine died under the grinding pressure of the sand as it whirled in Gaara's defense.

Of the remaining fifteen, only three were within the sand that Gaara had held back for his defense. And out of those three, only one was mostly intact and capable of directing the electricity into the final target, mere inches away. It shot the chakra-laced electricity at the boy and died.

Bereft of the chakra of its creator, the jutsu faded, so the electricity did as nature intended and grounded itself to the water-filled object standing just out of contact.

Sasuke was on the move the moment he released the first shock. He charged a second chidori on the run, racing the sand that had been chasing the two girls, trying to reach the boy kneeling in the dirt before his defenses returned…

* * *

Up in the stands, Kakashi stood, his eye wide, shouting, "Stop, you fool!"

Next to him, Mioki looked away, unwilling to watch, while the other jonin winced and gasped.

And below them, at the edge of the stands, standing where he had exited the tunnel to the emergency care ward, Naruto screamed. Because he, too, saw what the others had seen.

Gaara was kneeling, hunched over in the dirt.

Smiling.

* * *

_I'll make it_, thought Sasuke, rushing at his best speed at his target.

_I'll make it,_ he thought, watching with his perfect eyes as the sand moved in slow motion, far too distant to return in time to stop the final strike.

_I'll make it!_

And suddenly he was there, his arm lashing out, the legendary chidori screaming as it sought the flesh of the monstrous genin.

There was a thump, and the chirping sound of the technique faded into silence, a silence matched by those in the stands. Sasuke looked Gaara in the eyes, glaring at the boy, his hand trapped in the grasp of the small pillar of sand between him and his foe, held high above the kneeling Gaara.

"You _made_ it!" Gaara said through clenched teeth. He raised his hands to the sides, pulling at the sand that was approaching him with his chakra, urging it to come that much faster, both masses taking on a flat edge to squish the Uchiha between them.

"And now, Mother _feeds_!"

* * *

Naruto had been fighting a mounting sense of horror as he watched his friends fight in the arena. It was not his fight, he was forbidden from fighting, but even so, it took all of his will to stay and watch his friends battle the monster from Suna.

Then he saw Gaara smiling as he kneeled in the dirt, and his horror bloomed into full dread. _If I interfere, I'm risking the livelihood of my village._ Naruto had been thinking about what the Hokage had said during the preliminaries, and he understood now why these matches were important. They were a show of force, a demonstration, an advertisement of the only goods a shinobi village sold. The moment he got involved, he sent a clear message to everyone watching, that he could not be controlled by the orders of others. He might very well be killing his own career, snuffing out his dream before it even started.

Then he saw Gaara's sand rise and trap Sasuke's arm, and the complex problem he had faced smoothed into a simple question, a personal one, one uninvolved with elaborate words and justifications.

_Is Sasuke worth less than money?_

Expressed that way, the answer was clear. He barely noticed lunging over the railing, holding on with one arm to get his feet on the side of the arena wall.

"No!" he shouted, pushing off of the wall as hard as he could.

He barreled into Sasuke, and he clearly heard the wet snap as his friend's wrist and hand shattered when it was ripped out of the iron grip of the sand. He kicked out as he landed, hitting his friend as hard as he could and launching the boy across the arena.

He tucked into a roll and came to his feet, only to fall again, grinding his face into the dirt. He looked back to see the sand that had been holding Sasuke was now wrapped around his own leg.

"I'm going to kill you," said Gaara as he walked forward slowly, the two masses of sand coming together into one solid mass and hovering over his head, blocking out the sun while Naruto struggled against the sand that held him. "I'm going to grind you into paste, right here, in front of everyone you hold dear. And then?" He leaned forward, a cheerful smile on his face, as if imparting a silly little secret to a dear friend. "And then, I'll do the same to them. I'll start with the purple girl, and I'll bathe in her hopeless screams and tears as she dies. Then, I'll kill the pink girl. I think I'll crush her over the boy, and let her blood stain him body and soul. Then, and only then, will your last friend die, broken and hopeless and _alone_." He laughed and raised his hand, making a fist, the sand above him compacting tightly as he did so.

"That's what you get for having friends," Gaara said. He brought his hand down, and the world faded to black as the giant club came down...

* * *

"**Ahhh,"** said a voice in the darkness. "**You have finally come to me."**

Naruto snapped awake, his eyes immediately darting around. He stood, lashing out furiously at the water around him, and found himself somewhere disturbing.

It looked like nothing more than a large sewer. The walls were dingy and layered in filth, in some places completely hiding the cracked bricks that made the tunnel. The water at his feet was no more than a thin layer, but it glistened with an oily sheen and clung to his legs like a gel. A pale green light, sourceless and dim, suffused the area, casting dim shadows that had no real source.

None of this could explain why Naruto felt so discomforted. No words could describe how wrong it felt. The sewer looked normal to him, if somewhat large, but at the same time it seemed to be twisted and ruined, warped in some barely-perceivable fashion, as if the place had been destroyed and rebuilt so close to the original that it was only off-putting to someone who called the place home.

But what really drew his attention was the gate.

The gate was huge, easily fifty feet tall, wrought out of iron that was rusted and pitted with age. It stood ajar, slightly opened, and Naruto could see some tattered shreds of paper clinging to it. Beyond the gate, there was only darkness, thick, impossible to see through, and yet he knew it contained something.

Then the deep voice that had awoken him laughed, the sound echoing out from the darkness. Its tone turned mocking and sweet, and it started to speak as if reciting something. "'**Will you walk into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly. 'Tis the prettiest little parlor that you ever did spy.'**"

Naruto took a step back from the gate, and the voice spoke again. "**Fear not, little creature,"** came the voice, the mocking tone replaced with weary understanding. "**I am still bound to you, as I ever was before. You need not fear violence by my hand."**

Naruto frowned. "I don't need to fear violence from you… but that doesn't mean I should not fear you, does it?"

The voice in the dark chuckled softly. "**I see the grey one has done you some good, little creature. Fair enough. I will cause you no harm of any sort. This time.**" There was a rough sound, as if a great object was dragged across the ground, and a distant clink of chains within the dark. "**If you do not come to me,"** it said after a moment of waiting, "**then you shall die. You will return to the outside world, just in time for the red-haired beast to grind you out of existence. Truly, you have little choice but to join me for a conversation.**"

Naruto turned his back and looked away from the gate, and saw only the sewer, stretching away until the weak light gave out to darkness. He looked into the distance for several seconds before he turned to the gate and stepped through.

The moment he entered the darkness it vanished, washed away by a diffused white light that filled the world as far as he could see. And before him, he beheld a god.

He saw a great fox, as red as the sunset and as large as a house, sitting in the air above him, its legs crossed and its arms resting on them. Below it, a single tail ran down to the floor, holding it aloft, while above, eight additional tails rose above its head, spaced equally around it, still as a frozen pond. Each tail was wrapped in chains, which ran along and around each one to meet on the being's chest.

Upon each tail was a single slip of paper. Upon each paper was a single mark, a number one through nine. And upon its chest there was one further mark, which only said "Destruction."

The great fox's eyes were closed, its breath gentle and even, and Naruto suffered a moment of dissonance as he struggled to understand what he was seeing. "_You_ are the Kyuubi," he asked, his voice clearly conveying his disbelief, "the nine-tailed beast who tried to destroy my home?"

"**Yes**," the great being said, its slightest breath carrying a wave of chakra so intense it stole Naruto's breath. "**You gaze upon the form of what you call Kyuubi, the Destroyer**." A single red eye opened and focused on the small human before it. "**I believe tradition indicates you should be trembling with fear, little creature. Wisdom would also suggest the same course of action, so that you might appease my anger. Not that it ever works.**"

Naruto resisted the urge to do just that, forcing himself to stand up straight. "Maybe, but I am going to die anyhow, according to you. You, Gaara, a random kunai. What does it matter how it happens?"

"**Easy words,**" said the great beast. "**But the merciful death the red-headed monster out there offers you is a far better choice than what I can do to you.**"

A second great eye opened, and the Kyuubi lowered itself slowly to the ground, uncurling its great legs as it did so. It moved with smooth and deadly purpose, ponderous and slow and yet all the more frightful because of how much control the creature had over itself. Once on the floor, the ninth tail rose to take its place amongst its brethren to frame the great creature's body. It leaned forward, towering over Naruto, its jaw slightly agape, its eyes glowing with power and fury…

And _then_ Naruto realized that his idea of scale was off, that the creature's head which he had expected to be the size of his body was much larger, that its _teeth_ were almost his size. Its claws were the size of a house. A single one of its tails was as long as an entire block in his village.

Naruto had faced the chance of death in combat, but that fear paled in comparison to seeing the infamous monster of legend, the one thing that all Konohagakure shinobi hated and feared beyond all others, moving slowly closer, so big that it could crush him by _accident_.

Naruto performed the bravest action in his young life, one that few other shinobi could do.

He crossed his arms and glared at the beast.

The creature's head came within inches of his face, but he refused to flinch, and after a moment, the beast chuckled. It moved its head to one side, resting it on the ground and staring at the boy with a single great eye. "**I credit you, little creature. Few are those who will face me and not tremble. I know you fear me, I can smell it coming from you, and yet you refuse to show it.**" The Kyuubi inhaled deeply, then slowly let the breath out. "**You smell of my former keeper, Kushina, the little red-headed maniac. Are you one of her brood, I wonder?**"

Naruto smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "The one and only."

The creature chuckled again. "**Yes, obviously so. Well, we shall have to have a talk in the future on that, but for now, there are more pressing matters. You are about to die, out in the physical world. But I can offer you the power to survive.**"

Naruto perked up a little… then he frowned. "Why are you being so…"

"**Friendly? Accommodating?**"

"... Helpful?"

The Kyuubi grinned as only a fox can. "**Time here is flexible, and we have a moment. Let me tell you a story, in the hopes that it will help you understand the nature of our relationship.**" One of its great tails curled around Naruto, tucking up behind him until he was sitting on it. Naruto shifted a moment, trying and failing to find a comfortable way to sit. The fox's hair was coarse and stiff, and the lack of any sort of back support didn't help, so in the end, Naruto perched carefully on the tail and ignored the discomfort. The kyuubi shifted, until it could see Naruto with both eyes, and its voice took on the same tone of recitation it had used earlier.

"**A man who was traveling came to a raging river. The man could not swim, and he was sad to realize his journey was at an end. Then he saw on the very edge of the river a water snake warming itself in the sun.**

"**He approached cautiously and hailed the snake, and it replied in kind. They spoke for some time, and the man found that the snake was both charming and friendly. Finally, he asked the snake if it would help him cross the river, so he might carry on.**"

Naruto gave the fox a smile, and the fox returned it, but its smile had far too many teeth to be comforting.

"**The snake agreed readily, and together, they moved into the water, the man holding tight to the snake's body. But halfway across the river, the snake turned suddenly and bit the man. In pain, dying from the venom, the man looked upon the snake and saw that it too was in tears. 'Why,' he asked, 'Why do you cry? If you care so much as to cry, why did you bite me.'**

"**The snake looked at his dying friend and said, 'Forgive me my friend, but I am a water snake. To bite is my nature, and try as I might, one can never change their nature.' He dutifully carried the man to the other side. He held watch over his friend as he died, and mourned him, as was appropriate. And then he ate the man, because that too was in his nature.**"

The Kyuubi sat up, slow and ponderous, the smile leaving its face, and it raised its front paw to tap the seal upon its chest. "**This is no mere seal. It is a title, an appellation, the entirety of my existence writ in but a single word. I am not Kyuubi the Destroyer. I am Destruction itself.**"

Naruto frowned up at the titanic fox. "Why help me, then? Why not lead me to my doom, if that is all you are? If you're nothing but destruction, why do anything but destroy _me_?"

The Kyuubi grinned down on the boy. "**Yes, I am destruction, a force of nature made into a being of chakra. But not all destruction is evil. You know me for the threat to your village, and to you, that would be bad. When a volcano erupts, the trees and creatures below tremble and die in the flames. They are **_**right **_**to fear. But eventually, the volcano subsides, and new life rises from the ashes. What of that life? Is it somehow less worthy? More? To you, little creature, the doom of your home is horrifying, but to the world, it is but one step in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Remember, little creature, there is no creation without the destruction of what came before. A painting is naught but the destruction of the pristine white canvas and the loss of much paint from the tube.**

"**With that purpose comes some degree of choice. If you are no more worthy of life, you are also no less worthy. I have watched your life to some degree from my cage, and I have found pleasure in your struggles. I cannot keep you alive forever… but here and now, I wish to aid you, so I might continue to observe. So strip the seal from the least of my tails, and live another day with my aid. And you will need it, for the red-haired monster holds one of my kin, and it will take much power and effort to destroy him.**"

"He has a beast in him too?" Naruto asked.

The fox nodded gravely. "**My fellow beast, the Shukaku, is within. I can sense his taint upon the boy. As I am destruction, Shukaku is manipulation, and he bends that creature's mind to his own sick desires. He is the weakest of my brethren... but the weakest child is a god to the insects below. Take my power, save your friends, and live another day.**"

The beast leaned forward again, and its teeth gleamed. "**Just remember, there are two lessons to be learned from my story. The first is, never forget my purpose. I am an ally, but that does not make me any less dangerous, and my power will ever be of a destructive nature. Expect no more, and no less.**"

It proffered a tail, the first tail, and Naruto looked at it with trepidation. The story was not lost to him. The fox was basically admitting it would kill him one day. Something as small as his death was not enough to justify risking even the smallest of freedoms for his captive guest. But one thought overrode all of his worry, all of his concern. _If I refuse, they die._ Sasuke. Sakura. Hinata. They would never defeat a thing like Gaara, not as they were now. If he passed on this offer, if he exchanged his life to keep the kyuubi fully sealed, they would _die_.

He didn't know if what he was feeling was weakness in the face of a tough choice, or the strength to make that choice.

He didn't care.

He reached out and ripped the tag off, watching as the chains wrapped around that tail shattered and vanished. He felt the burning chakra of the Kyuubi enter his body, its searing power filling him. He stood, suddenly nearly bursting with energy, and started moving towards the exit at a run, desperate to save his friends. Then he froze just before the entrance and turned to face the Kyuubi once more, a frown on his face. "I get the first lesson… but what's the second?"

The Kyuubi reached out and gave Naruto a push with a single claw, knocking the boy into the darkness beyond the gate, and as he was claimed by the darkness, he heard the Kyuubi laugh again.

"**The second lesson is to beware of snakes.**"

* * *

Naruto snapped to awareness, the red chakra coursing through his body. He saw the sand coming at him, as solid as a rock and moving so slow it seemed laughable, so he lifted his legs, pressed his feet against the sand, and _pushed_.

He skidded out from under the sand, just avoiding the blow meant to crush him. He reached out and slapped the ground, changing his body's trajectory to send him upwards. This allowed him to land against the wall of the arena, the chakra around his fingers digging into the concrete wall to hold him in place.

Naruto grit his teeth as his nerves screamed at him, telling him he was on fire, and found that his teeth fit together poorly now. He shifted his jaw into a more comfortable position, then looked up from where he was and glared at Gaara, who was standing on top of his sandy club with a look on angry confusion, like a petulant child who had a toy taken from them. His eyes shifted slightly, and Naruto suspected that the boy was talking to his own beast.

Naruto looked over at where his friends were. Sasuke was on the ground, held up by Sakura and cradling his arm, his face gone pale, his eyes wide as he looked at Naruto. Sakura was also staring at him, her face open and fearful, a single kunai pulled and ready… and pointed at him as well.

Hinata looked like she had been crying, and she looked fit to start again at his glance.

He could see Kakashi, starting to make his way forward from the stands, Kurenai not far behind. He saw Hayate rushing to place himself between Gaara and the other genin.

Naruto fought his new and awkward jaw, he fought the burning chakra, he fought the voice of destruction whispering in his ears. He fought all of these things for the ability to give the monster across from him a chance.

"**Let my friends go,**" he said, his words harsh even in his own ears. "**There is nothing to gain by killing them. Let them go.**"

Gaara seemed to pause for a moment, indecisive. A small frown flashed on his face, but his eyes shifted again, and the frown vanished immediately under a cruel grin. "You say I gain nothing for killing them, but I do. I certainly do. I gain the strength of your pain. It's up to you to get that strength back from me or die trying." He raised his hands and the sand lashed out, barreling at Naruto's friends..

The sand never reached them. Even as Sakura tried to gather Sasuke and jump, even as Hinata flinched and raised her arms instinctively, there was a flash of red and an awful keening noise. The sand scattered, blasted aside as Naruto swung his arms at it. The screaming whistle intensified, and Sakura realized that Naruto was holding his swords, the edges shimmering as the wind chakra that imbued the blades ran against itself, creating the sharpest edge known in the shinobi world.

Naruto turned slightly, looking at his friends with one frightful, inhuman eye. "**Sakura-chan**," he said quietly, his words coming out as a growl. "**You asked if it was safe, long ago in the Land of Waves. It was. Now, it is not. Not for him, and maybe not for you. Do you understand?**"

Naruto felt a chill in his heart when Hinata and Sasuke flinched at his voice, but Sakura, bless her, she nodded in understanding, her eyes going from fearful to calm, and Naruto was certain she would get them out of arena.

Gaara's sand returned, a single long tendril trying to sweep the four of them away. Naruto stepped forward and brought one of his blades down in a graceless, inelegant chop that severed the appendage before it could reach them, and the sand fell to the ground and scattered.

He turned his head again and saw his friends still waiting there, as if they were expecting something. "**Flee!**" he shouted at them, his voice coming out as a monstrous roar, and finally they escaped, using him for protection as they vaulted out of the arena. He looked away, casting his gaze back to Gaara, who was looking up at the Kage's box with a big smile on his face. That smile… that was the last straw. Naruto felt the red fury boiling in his heart, and he stopped resisting.

* * *

Orochimaru leaned back in his chair, interlacing his fingers in front of his face and staring into the arena with a vague smile. A thin chuckle passed his lips, carried on the lightest of breaths and just loud enough to reach the ear of the Kazekage.

"Damn him!" shouted Rasa, reaching into his robes and pulling out a scroll. "I'll not let him sully our village this way!" He opened the scroll to reveal a storage seal and reached out to it, summoning the contents, one large box that hit the floor with a solid thud.

Rasa raised his arms out, aiming at his son, then turned and looked at the unmoving box. Confused, he lashed out with a foot, breaking open the box to reveal not the gold dust he was famous for, but thousands of tiny lead pellets. His eyes widened in shock, and he turned to look at his son in the arena, who gave him a cold grin and nodded once.

_You shrewd little shit,_ thought Rasa, his mind racing.

Any words they might have shared were lost forever when the boy with the red chakra attacked.

* * *

Gaara's head snapped around when his shield of sand suddenly shook violently. It kept shaking, and the sound of thunderous blows was soon joined by a scream.

Gaara knew screams. He knew the scream of anger when someone watched their teammates die. He knew the scream of pain, when he took his time and crushed one limb at a time. He knew the scream of horror when they inevitably realized that there was no escape and they were going to die a terrible death.

But this scream… this was a scream of rage, a verbal promise to inflict pain and suffering upon him, as merciless as Gaara himself, and he found himself surprised and a little disturbed. With each blow against the wall of sand, the scream grew in intensity, the promise more certain.

Gaara had never heard such a sound, and for the first time since his uncle Yashamaru had tried to murder him, he felt a touch of fear. He reached out for his Mother, begging for her aid.

She laughed at his need.

She always laughed at his need.

"**Earn it,**" she whispered in his ear, as sweet and mocking as ever. "**Earn my love and support, little Gaara of the Sand.**"

He tried to reply, but suddenly found himself at a loss for words when the shield parted, revealing the blond genin, cutting furiously at his shield with a pair of swords and making genuine headway against it. The blond saw Gaara, and he screamed again, revealing teeth grown sharp, then started redoubling his efforts, carving great rends with each cut.

Gaara abandoned his defense, lashing out with as many strands as he could control, and it was enough to knock the blond away for a moment. Gaara flicked his fingers, shooting dozens of large, sharp flows of sand at the stand behind the blond in the hopes of distracting him, but his foe ignored the shards and changed again, lashing out at any sand that reached for him, closing the distance at an alarming rate.

Gaara lowered his arms, flattening the sand before the charging boy in an instant, then raised them again. The sand raised itself quickly, wrapping around the blond's arms. The boy screamed again and started to thrash, twisting his arms and body, swinging the blades about in an attempt to sever the sand holding him without losing a limb.

Gaara smirked and raised his arms further.

_Let's see him fight after I crush his limbs!_

Then the world exploded around him.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **This is _NOT_ Naruto's awesome moment. It's just the wind-up. And before you ask, I have not forgotten the crowd and all the ninja within. They are coming.

I am taking a different direction with the Tailed Beasts, although not too far away from their canon source. They were still once the Ten Tails, split by the Sage of the Six Paths. But the Beasts are the embodiment of a single overall force, as befits their mythology. And many of these things are like Kurama's view of destruction, "bad" from a certain point of view, but "good" from another.

This means a change in personality, for some of them, mostly Shukaku and Kurama, both of whom had early characterization that was essentially "rawr, monster." If this version of Kurama hates humans, it's because from its observation, humans are terrible creatures. If Shukaku is manipulating Gaara into madness, there is a reason behind it.

I feel slightly unhappy doing this change, because the premise of the Tailed Beasts is so important to canon… but frankly, the mythology eventually brought up near the end of the series is terrible from my point of view, so I'm going to alter it to some degree, so it actually works as mythology instead of… whatever it was.

But the unusual seal on the Kyuubi? That has its own reason.

This is also why Naruto has chakra swords without being trained in them. It's not meant to be a weapon. It's meant to be the equivalent of the Jaws of Life, a way to break through any barrier and disrupt plans. They are also, out of any option Naruto might have, inherently lethal. Don't be surprised if they come up only rarely.

I am mixed on the **bold for power** thing. On the one hand, it is completely technically incorrect. On the other, so is CAPSLOCK FOR DEATH. Stylistically, it feels right, especially as my take on the creatures is essentially that they are demigods. That said, I am open for discussion on the matter, if you have an opinion.

Final note, I recognize that the solution they used to fight Gaara is very similar to what Deidara did in Shippuden. Sorry. I willingly admit I got stuck on what to do with their limited options to give them at least some small chance of success. The original plan was to lure Gaara into the building and bring it down on him, but then I realized, why the hell would Gaara play along? Why would he take his time and toy with them instead of just killing their little asses? And the backup plan was what happened.

**littleditto **asked if I formally introduced the MythNinjas. Nope. It's just a thrown-together idea caused by a random comment from my beta, **Pom Rania**, and I didn't spend nearly the time on the writing style (read: consistency) for the first one. Future ones should be a little less haphazard. As for the Hyuga, I will not use a seal on their eyes, because any seal that does not lock the eyes immediately is pointless, because the moment the eye is out of the body, the seal is meaningless. The seal in canon is semi-useful, in that it keeps incompetent shinobi from claiming an eye, but frankly, they wouldn't have the skill to implant it anyhow.

**Krikr** mentioned that kikaichu eat chakra, so Sasuke might have issues using jutsu. From what I have seen, kikaichu seem to have two modes, maintain and expand. When some of the hive dies, they expand and consume much more chakra, which is why "replenishing my hive" is worth mentioning, as it makes the shinobi less effective due to the reduced chakra capacity. When the hive is at capacity, the kikaichu maintain numbers, reducing their consumption accordingly.

**Praegressus **mentioned that Neji should have seen through the henge. I disagree, because they observe chakra with the byakugan. They would be immune to most illusions, because the chakra would not match what they are seeing, but a surface-level henge would make no meaningful changes to the chakra network of the opponent. They also mention that Gaara is still rather vanilla. Sorry, but I have no reason in-universe for him to be different at this point. Also, I like trying to write that sort of personality.

**euroteres** brings up how fucking horrible Rasa was as a father. Yep. Exactly. It _is_ almost like he wanted an unstoppable tyke bomb. Unfortunately, by the time he realized his mistake, he already had one. I wonder what happens if Gaara _wasn't _beaten into sanity by Naruto…

**Charles Henri** mentioned not being a fan of Hinata's grandstanding last chapter. I agree, for the most part, but I rather felt it made sense in the context of making a very public move to draw attention to a problem.

**Im Not Itachi** and a few others mentioned that I was wrong, and that it was revealed to me that the man Jiraiya demonstrated the Rasengan on was a former shinobi. I stand corrected, but I also stand by my point about variable power, what with the lack of former shinobi chunks spattering the balloon stand in question after Jiraiya the Fucking Sannin Rasen-punched him.

**master lurker** is a badass at physics, and correct. In theory, Naruto can stop himself in midair and redirect himself, if he thinks fast enough, and using a few reasonable assumptions on how clones work, such as mass and how much control he has over their appearance. Thanks, ML.

**reydrago** doubts Hinata is sly enough for the public speech she delivered. Yep. it's almost like this was planned with at least one person with the political smarts for it…

**Death276 **jokingly mentioned that some authors act like their characters "run on justice (or some other substance)" and thus never need sleep. I laughed, and thank you. That exact phrase may show up some day, as appropriate.

**EDIT:** Ooo, ooo, and this chapter's Angry Anon award goes to "yep", who lambasts me for not having Hiruzen go all murder-hobo on Orochimaru. In their loving words, "aaaaand you lost me." Oh. Oh no. please tell me it is not so. Please! I can change! Look, Orochimaru is killing people RIGHT NOW! Oh, look, superpower battle between the king of the monkeys and the Snakenator 3000! Widespread destruction, as seen almost everyhwre! Please! COME BA- _Hi, this is Trollrochimaru. The author cannot come to the keyboard right now, on account of high amounts of chloroform, but here, let me handle this, my old friend. Dear angry lost reader, go fuc _\- What have I told you? Stop using that shit on me. And stop laughing! Why are you laughing?! What did you do NOW?!

* * *

**MINI-OMAKE!**

**Happy Holidays from Trollrochimaru!**

Kisame poked at the box with the tip of his legendary sword, deeply suspicious.

The blue skinned Monster of Kiri had found the box on his bed in the safehouse he and Itachi had just arrived at. It was... wrong. The box was the size of a small backpack, and covered with a brilliant green paper that shined like metal and was decorated by dozens of small clouds akin to those on his cloak, cut out of paper and taped in place. A long ribbon had been wrapped around the box and tied into a pleated bow that seemed to break the laws of physics to fit all of the folds it had. The box was somewhat soft, flexing under the touch of his sword, and he could clearly see, written on a little white tag that had a small sharingan painted onto it, was the most dreaded words he had ever seen.

"To Kisame, from Itachi. Merry Christmas."

The very idea of Itachi giving him a gift for christmas made him flinch.

"Any chakra," he asked Samehada, which grumbled at him. It had taken a few years, but he and his sword had come to understand each other well, and he knew that the sword was saying no. Kisame's chest eased a little, as that meant there were no deeply elaborate explosive tags or seals within.

Then his chest tightened again.

It was a _christmas_ present. From _Itachi_.

His hands shook slightly as he reached out and picked up the package. He started to delicately peel back the tape on the wrapping paper, intending to save it, then realized what he was doing and ripped it open. The top of the box was tossed aside, then the rest dropped as Kisame withdrew his gift.

It was leather.

It was certainly clothing.

It was _most_ certainly not suitable for missions. Or the public.

He turned to ask his partner what the hell was going on, but froze when he saw Itachi, wearing the outfit's twin, with the same look of disturbed concern Kisame imagined he had.

The Uchiha's lips barely moved as he whispered, "I have no idea why I am doing this."

Kisame sighed as he fought the urge to put own his own affront to nature. "This is going to be a long ass fic," he grumbled. Then the words behind his eyes forced him to start undoing the buttons on the leather... thing.


	40. The Beast

Kakashi was cursing as he and his fellow jonin began to work their way towards the arena. They ran through the crowd, and sometimes on them, but just short of jumping the group, there was no way to advance quickly enough for his tastes. And nobody was going to take a long jump into an arena containing the kid with the sand.

All around him, across the entire arena, more and more Konohagakure shinobi were starting to move, swarming through the crowd. The sudden increase in movement, and the realization that it was shinobi on the move, caused more than a little panic. To a civilian, after all, a shinobi was nothing more than a blur.

Then Naruto screamed, and to the person, the shinobi stopped. Kakashi could not understand at first why they all stopped, almost by instinct. It wasn't the angry tones of the scream, or its surprisingly high pitch, or the vision of Naruto viciously hacking at the sand shield like a butcher. There was nothing special in those things. And yet, somehow, that scream pressed the same button in the hearts and minds of the shinobi in the stands, the big red button that had the word _Kyuubi_ written below it in the blood of their friends and family.

That button was always a tool of fear for the people of Konohagakure.

And fear is a mind killer.

_I have failed,_ he thought, his face going white under his mask, _utterly and completely. Minato's son has fallen, and I did nothing to stop it. _Kakashi fought against the overwhelming sensation of horror as he watched Naruto, his face bestial, smashing at the sand. The boy was not fighting as a shinobi. There was no planning, no grace, no tactics. He was fighting as an animal, a monster, paying no mind to anything beyond his foe.

Then he spotted the darts of sand flying out of the arena, and the horror faded into the background as he realized that he now had a single task to perform, before all others. He ignored the sand spikes that Gaara was throwing at the crowds of civilians, trusting the other Jonin to protect the civilians under attack. They all knew where he was going and what he was doing, because they had all been raised in the same village with the same will of fire. They all would have done the same.

Kakashi ran to his students.

Those that he could save, anyhow.

With a burst of chakra, he landed beside Sakura, down in the field. The girl flinched as he arrived, so focused on the danger of the two battling genin that she had not seen her sensei moving towards her. Sasuke, meanwhile, had been watching carefully, his one arm held tight to his chest.

"Exam's over," said Kakashi, bluntly. "Out."

Sasuke nodded, but Sakura shook her head and pointed behind Sasuke, where Hinata was standing. "She won't leave, and when we try to move her, she freaks out. Gave Sasuke a mean tap on the same arm that broke."

Hinata's eyes were wide, tears streaming down her face unheeded as she watched Naruto scream and thrash at the constantly regenerating sand, and Kakashi had the sinking sensation that the little Hyuga understood exactly what he did.

_Naruto is lost._

_Save who you can._

Kakashi didn't hesitate. Even if Hinata had been prepared to fight back, she could not match his speed, and a single blow was enough to knock her nearly senseless. Kakashi slung the girl over his shoulder and felt a small spark of appreciation when he noticed that the moment he'd done so, his students had evacuated.

He preparing to jump when Hinata started to scream. He swung instinctively to face the battle, in time to see Naruto charge straight at his target only to become ensnared by several tendrils of sand.

"Do something!" the girl was screaming.

Kakashi did the only thing he could think of. He threw a kunai with an explosive tag at the base of the sand holding Naruto, a hopeless gesture. He had seen enough to know that a single tag would not damage the sand enough to free his genin. But he could not bear the thought of turning away without trying to help, even if the gesture was empty and hopeless.

"Bombs!" he heard Guy shout from the stands, and while not every shinobi up there understood, enough did. Three more tagged kunai hit the sand, the paper burning as they counted down to detonation. A dozen more landed from various directions around Gaara.

Kakashi waited a moment, timing it carefully, and detonated his tag with the others. A great fireball filled the arena with smoke and thunder, and Kakashi waited just long enough to see Naruto fly out of the smoke and tumble to the dirt before he jumped away, the still-shouting girl on his back as explosive kunai rained from the sky.

* * *

Hiruzen had no doubt about his own priorities. As much as he wanted to enter the arena, he knew that others would look to him for guidance, so he guided them. "Shield the civilians!" he bellowed, jumping away from the Kage box towards the nearest section of stands. He landed with his staff, the weapon form of the boss of his monkey summons clutched firmly in his hands. When Gaara started to lash out with his sand, Hiruzen started batting away at the incoming attacks.

He was somewhat surprised when Orochimaru landed beside him, his blade drawn. He was even more surprised that the sannin didn't attack him, but instead kept his focus towards the arena, covering another section of the fleeing crowds.

"You never struck me as the kind to defend civilians," Hiruzen said, extending the staff to ludicrous lengths to swat an entire line of sand darts apart.

"And you never struck me as the sort to look a gift horse in the mouth," the sannin replied, his own blade extending out with each strike. He turned to his former sensei and gave the old man a tight-lipped smile. "I am glad to see you've become more sensible in your dotage."

Hiruzen grunted, but he could not stop the small grin that appeared on his face.

That grin faltered almost immediately when he saw Naruto's sudden capture by Gaara's sand.

His chest ached deeply as he watched the boy struggle against his bonds.

He could not abandon his position and leave his people defenseless.

Not even for Naruto.

Then he heard one of his jonin shout for explosives. Dozens of tags flew into the arena from all sides, and Hiruzen dropped Enma just long enough to send a few of his own. Even if the damage never reached Gaara, it might distract him enough.

The tags in the arena exploded just as Kakashi jumped out of it, the Hyuga heiress slung over his shoulder. The fireball covered much of the fighting pit in black smoke. Moments passed, and the sound of panicking civilians finally faded as the last of them made their way out to the relative safety beyond the surrounding walls. A few shinobi, no longer required to block sand darts, continued to throw explosives into the smoke.

Kakashi soon joined Hiruzen, accompanied by Sasuke and Sakura, with Hinata still being carried like a sack of grain. He looked down into the smoke, his one eye narrowed, and after a moment, he shifted the girl over his shoulders and hiked up his forehead protector to start looking through his sharingan eye.

There was a sudden shout from the Kage's box, and Rasa jumped down to land next to Hiruzen. His face was white, his eyes wide. "Sarutobi, we have a problem."

Naruto roared from within the smoke.

Something else roared back.

* * *

Jiraiya looked back at the arena at the sound of the colossal roar, his legs and arms flexing slightly in response. He knew his duty. He and Hiruzen had long since discussed it. _When danger happens, you save the civilians first, then rejoin the battle_. It was a terrible thing to know that his teacher, his mentor, and a very old shinobi at that, was battling against a Bijuu without him. But to turn away from the civilians before they were far enough away to be safe would be to go against everything Hiruzen had taught him.

Jiraiya returned to his task, gritting his teeth and ignoring the sounds of battle.

* * *

Naruto had barely paused his assault. The moment he stopped tumbling, he pulled himself onto his hands and feet, crouching in a way that felt both unnatural and _right_ at the same time, his blades still held in his fists, the skin on his knuckles shredding as he slid along the ground.

_**He will not hide from me.**_

Naruto tried to focus his mind, but he was being besieged within his own head. Every sense was vibrant, painfully so. The glare of the sunlight on the walls of the arena seared his eyes, every step in the dirt produced a jarring noise, and the smells… the smells were almost indescribable. There was no words in his mind for the smell of grass growing, or the scent of sunlight warming the earth, but he sensed them, a wall of smell that was alien to him. But worst of all was the voice.

It was not the sound of the kyuubi's voice. It was not a real voice at all. But some part of his mind, deep behind his eyes, would not stop making demands of him, demands he wanted no part of.

_**Slay the sand child**_**,** it whispered.

_No_, he thought, pressing back against the sudden urge to kill.

_**Slay the sand child. Slay the black-haired child.**_

_**Slay them both. Claim the pink-haired child as yours.**_

_No, dammit_!

Naruto feared for his sanity, trying to resist. The wants, the desires his inner voice were calling for, felt right. Natural. Good. Moment by moment, they pushed against his mind, and moment by moment, he pushed back by reminding himself of who he was.

_The black-haired child is my best friend._

_The pink-haired child is not some_ thing_ to claim._

_**The sand child**__…_ It was there that Naruto had the most trouble. He had nothing to resist with. _**The sand ch**__… Gaara. Gaara is a foe, and a dangerous one. There's no reason to __**spare the sand child my wrath**_**.**

Naruto's eyes narrowed. That last thought felt… wrong.

Then something caught his attention. He had no idea what it was, the sensation of moving air currents maybe, or the change of the texture of the smoke in the air. Whatever it was, he jumped straight up, narrowly avoiding the broad sweep of sand that swept out of the smoke and struck where he had been standing a moment before.

_No more time for thinking. __**Only attack.**_

He charged into the smoke, trusting senses he barely understood. He dodged to the left, narrowly missing a second tendril of sand. That transitioned into a tumble, and he felt the sand pass over his back. He jumped a third attack, and came across a large orb of sand, covered in spikes and tendrils.

_Gaara must be trying to hide within._

His sand meant nothing to Naruto. He dropped on of his swords, charging at the orb with a single sword held in both hands. He roared in fury and lunged, his chakra blade biting deep into the orb of sand.

The reaction was immediate. There was a high-pitched keening noise, and the orb exploded outwards, smashing into Naruto hard enough to send him flying out of the remaining smoke and into the wall of the arena. He hit with jarring force, feeling several bones crack on impact, and he dropped to the ground, clutching his head, as the scream continued, slowly lowering in pitch as it rose into the air…

* * *

Pain was the center of Gaara's world. He clutched at his arm, uncontrolled tears flowing down his face and mixing with the blood that has splashed him.

_His_ blood.

Pain was something new to the genin. By instinct, he did what any boy would do. He turned to his Mother and cried for her aid.

He did what she wanted of him. He always did. He held off from attacking his father all this time, held off from actually killing anyone until now, just as she demanded. He gave them scary glares and monstrous smiles. And like always, despite his effort, she had left him alone, abandoned him to face the darkness without her help and love.

Without her, he was alone. The only time she came to him was when he allowed her to feed, when he was so alone he would do anything to have someone.

"Please," he whispered. "I'm scared. Help me."

"**Of course**," Mother said, her power flowing into him. "**Would I really abandon you?**"

Gaara flinched at her tone, and bit down the answer that came to him.

"Of course not, Mother."

"**Good boy. Shut your eyes and let me in.**"

* * *

Every shinobi in the arena looked up at the growing form of the Shukaku, the One-Tailed Beast, as it raised from the arena floor and roared into the sky.

Except for Orochimaru. He was far too busy sending signals to his servants.

They appeared from behind pillars, five of them. Each wore a simple grey tabard over black body suits, each with a purple rope tied around the waste as a simple and cheap belt. They already knew their duty. All five dashed into the arena, and while four of them spread out to surround the towering beast of sand, the fifth darted straight at Naruto where he crouched, still dazed.

Naruto growled in the back of his throat as his bones knit together, and with a final sickening pop, he felt the last bone in his spinal column repair itself, finally granting him proper use of his legs again. He crouched down, eyeing the massive beast before him and questioning what he could do about it, but from the corner of his eye he saw a grey figure darting at him, closing with incredible speed.

_**Another foe to crush.**_

Naruto raised his arms and lunged at the moving figure, lashing out with his sword in a single quick stroke. His foe was inconveniently fast, however, and dodged around the blade with incredible grace before throwing itself at him with its arms wide. Naruto stepped back, thumping into the arena wall, dropping his sword and raising his arms to try and grapple with the grey-clad shinobi.

Then the boy wrapped his arms around Naruto and gave him a hug.

"It's good to see you, Naruto."

The blond genin pressed down hard against the swirling confusion in his head and looked at the face of the person clinging to him. It took a moment to recognize the face, dressed so differently and with a Otogakure forehead protector sitting around the boy's neck, but eventually the memory of the last time he had seen the boy resurfaced, and he managed to mumble through his distorted jaw.

"Haku?"

Haku nodded and smiled, but the smile dropped instantly when the painfully bright sunlight started to fade into cool shadow. Haku grabbed Naruto and jumped, pushing against the arena wall, and they both barely escaped from the giant fist that struck the ground where they had stood. They rolled to their feet and looked up… up… up, to the top of the towering beast that was looking at them with coldly amused eyes.

"**Run, little creatures,**" it said, its deep voice mockingly sweet. "**Run and dodge and flee for me! I am free once more, and there is so much to do to you. There is no pleasure greater than slaughtering you little creatures and then leaving little Gaara to stand alone amidst the carnage! Such tears he once had! Such screams! And every time, it gets harder and harder to break him, which means I get to be more and more creative!**" It raised its arm again, a broad grin forming on its muzzle. "**Flee, flee! Live for just one moment at a time! Scramble for my pleasure!**"

Naruto bit down the urge to lash out. The thing towered over him, as big as any building in town, and mindlessly beating on it with a sword would be pointless. Instead, he stepped back, only to stop when Haku reached a hand out to stop him. "Not too far," he said. "The box is going up."

"Box?"

The moment the word left his mouth, the four shinobi that had taken up station around the arena floor crouched, their last hand seals ending in a palms outward pose. Four walls of purple energy formed, neatly trapping the great beast within them… along with Naruto and Haku.

"What do we do?" asked Naruto, glancing around the now-severely-reduced space as the one-tailed beast roared and pounded on the glowing energy barrier.

"Now we need to survive," said Haku, crouching down and preparing to move. "There is already a plan. If nothing else, trust that no snake leaves its den unprepared."

* * *

"I can stop this. But I need your help."

Hiruzen turned away from the arena and the purple barrier keeping him away from the genin within. Keeping him away from Naruto, Minato's _son_, someone he considered his own. He reached out and grabbed Orochimaru by the shirt, then pulled his former apprentice forward, until he was holding the sanin off the ground. "You can help," he growled, "by taking down that shield."

Orochimaru sneered at the Hokage, his voice level and as cold as his namesake. "That shield is the only reason the creature is not running amok through your village. And this time, there is no spare Namikaze around to seal it, nor a convenient vessel to hold it. You might win eventually, but how many hundreds might die in the meantime. _Think_, damn you!"

_He's right._ Hiruzen glared at his student, who retained his sneer as the old man held him above the ground. Sealing a bijuu was an art, and one that generally could not be hurried. Killing the Suna jinchuuriki would be difficult, if not impossible, with the forces he had on hand. Calling for more forces would mean local destruction. Not doing so would give the creature free reign until they assembled. And Hiruzen did not have a lot of gold just lying about.

Hiruzen glared for a few seconds, then slowly lowered Orochimaru back to the ground. "You have a plan. I can tell, because you're breathing."

The sannin brushed off his shirt and grimaced. "I can end this here and now, Hokage-sama, and you know how it _irks_ me to call you that, but you and only you can grant me permission to help, because it requires something I learned from my research... and it requires the life of a single person."

"You want that person to be me," said Hiruzen. It was not a question.

Orochimaru shrugged his shoulders. "There would be no reason to do that. It could be anyone, really. A child from an orphanage, an old retired shinobi already marching fully towards death, you. Who does not matter. But it must be a human, and_you_ must choose, because no other has that right."

Hiruzen's eyes narrowed. "Why me?"

Orochimaru gave the old man a sharp grin. "That's the price you have to pay. One life amongst all of yours, any life, but it must be by your choice. One life against the entirety of your village, Hiruzen. Choose wisely, and quickly. Your genin could use the help."

Orochimaru turned away, watching the two shinobi within the barrier, facing off against a monster. He had chosen Haku for this task because of his superior speed, and that speed was doing him well. Naruto, meanwhile, was having a harder time of it, and even as he watched, the boy narrowly avoided a sudden backhand from the creature. He carefully avoided watching Hiruzen's face as he tried to find the right thing to do by his quaint moral standards. He'd seen all of that before, and while amusing, it was not worth the risk of Hiruzen making the wrong choice.

_Who do I order to die… no, to be executed, for the good of the village?_ Hiruzen found himself in a rare moment of indecision. There was no doubt in his mind that it was an execution. This was not some dangerous mission, where the outcome was uncertain. They would die, without question, and, knowing Orochimaru, right in front of him.

His first thought was to offer himself, but he shot that down. He had long accepted he would die in battle, and had lived a long time for a shinobi. But if he died at Orochimaru's hands, it would be bedlam. Even if he publicly declared it, the village would assume manipulation of some sort, and as soon as the giant tanuki fell, there would be war.

Next, he looked at Kakashi. _Kakashi would be willing to do what it takes to save his own students._ But there, too, the price would be terrible. Hiruzen already worried what might happen to the team, now that his secret would almost certainly be out. Suddenly losing their teacher at the same time could lead to three genin who would be almost as dead to the world as their teacher. Kakashi needed to live.

Everywhere Hiruzen looked, he only saw bad choices. Everyone had value. Everyone would be missed, both in the heart and in the work force. Hiruzen's face fell, and he found himself circling the one thought he wanted to ignore the most.

_I'm not strong enough to do this._

Not a single choice available to him was anything short of murder in his eyes, justified or not. They were shinobi, trained to fight and serve and die on his command, but they were also family.

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed just slightly. He didn't need to look to see the effect this was having on Hiruzen.

Then a stranger landed at his feet and knelt, a short Konoha shinobi who was cadaverous slender. "Lord Hokage, Lord Orochimaru. Danzo-sama sends his regards." The man continued to kneel, but he looked up at Hiruzen, his eyes already dead. "I was chosen to shadow you today, from the depths of the earth where me and mine carry the burden of the great tree, and was ordered to preserve the Hokage and Konohagakure itself should Orochimaru turn against us. This will fulfill my orders."

_Root._ That single word explained a great deal. Danzo's personal ANBU, loyal beyond fault and trained to be emotionless servants. The Hokage had lost track of how many broken men and women had come away from their time in Root a living wreck. He didn't even know how many never came back at all.

He did not approve of Danzo's methods or his obstinate insistence in keeping the organization in place, nor did he particularly trust what was essentially a big personal hit squad for his primary political opponent. That did not make them any less a member of his village. He shook his head. "I will not order your death."

The man nodded in return. "No. I will volunteer. I am already doomed, Lord Hokage. My medical records will attest to that. A few weeks of declining health is an easy sacrifice against a threat to the village, Lord Hokage."

Hiruzen turned and looked to the stands, easily seeing the stern figure of Shimura Danzo standing to the rear under the awnings across the barrier. The battle-scarred man noticed the scrutiny and nodded once, as if he already knew the conversation they were having, before turning a slowly walking away, the purple barrier casting him in an inhuman light.

It was such an easy choice.

It was an easy choice presented by Danzo and _Orochimaru_.

It was also the only choice.

Hiruzen stepped forward and laid his hands on the shoulders of the kneeling shinobi. "Tell me your name, brave soldier."

For the first time, the man hesitated, a moment of confusion passing across his face. "I was… I am Aburame Rien, Hokage-sama." He looked up at Hiruzen, and his lips turned slightly upwards, more than Hiruzen would have expected from a member of Root. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage bowed to the man before him, the name already seared into his mind.

He stepped back, sighed, and gave Orochimaru a single nod. The sannin stepped forward, bringing out a pair of scrolls, and crouched. "This will take a few moments," he said, pulling one of the scrolls open to reveal a series of storage seals and running his finger along until he picked one.

* * *

"Why the hell are they keeping us in here?" Naruto shouted as he dashed past Haku, closely followed by a trail of projectiles that cracked the earth where they landed. He was growing very irritated.

Shukaku would not stop laughing.

Naruto was still a genin, but he was not an idiot. Several times, he had made mistakes, dodging in the wrong direction. Each time, Shukaku had missed him. Instead, it would let Naruto escape and continue with its braying laugh and constant mockery.

"**I am keeping you here because you are **_**fun**_**, monkey,**" came the unexpected reply. The beast rotated within the cramped confines of the purple walls and looked down at Naruto, grinning at the boy with a mouth large enough to swallow him whole. "**You run and dodge so well, for a little coward. I'm just waiting for you to get tired of scurrying like a scared little bunny and either drop dead from the fear or finally attack me with all of your strength.**"

_Dick,_ Naruto thought, jumping aside as another slow paw of sand smashed into the ground next to him. It didn't help that the power that was keeping him alive, keeping him moving, was trying to tell him the same thing, even though the powerful cloak of chakra had faded over time, leaving him no stronger than normal. Everything within him wanted him to charge at the big monster and tunnel his way right to Gaara and…

Naruto pushed those thoughts down.

It wanted him to attack.

Naruto was not an idiot. He had long put away his sword. It could carve chunks off of Shukaku, and that seemed to hurt it, but it never did anything to really harm or stop it. He knew that it would not help him any. _So… Why does it want me to attack?_

Naruto took a moment to breath as Haku drew the creature's attention with a few senbon. The tiny little needles made Shukaku laugh, every time, and with the last few attacks, the beast had started to deliberately stop and give Haku all the chance in the world to hurt him with the needles.

Naruto watched as Haku spun and jumped and threw, all for nothing. He watched as Shukaku laughed and leaned forward, opening its eye wide and inviting a strike. He watched as Haku raised his hand, then stopped and let the opportunity pass with a disgruntled sigh. The boy instead jumped to where Naruto was resting and shook his head. "I can't possibly harm it, Naruto. And once it accepts that and stops laughing, he's going to focus you down." Haku's eyes grew misty. "There is nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry."

Shukaku was waiting, quietly watching with its big, leering, ugly face.

_Why is it not attacking? Why is it playing with us? What can it possibly get out of prolonging this fight, letting us toss pointless attacks on it?_ The kyuubi claimed he was the essence of destruction. He also claimed that this one was manipulation. But surely it would be smarter than this. This was pointless showmanship, threats and mockery as it grossly overpowered them. That was hardly manipulating someone.

Naruto looked over at Haku, who was looking up at the creature with disgust. Tired, forlorn, hopeless. He then looked up at Shukaku, grinning and watching Haku closely. _It knows we can't win. It wants _us_ to know we can't win. We're being "manipulated," all right, but only in one direction, you lying nine-tailed bastard!_

He shoved Haku as hard as he could, sending the boy stumbling back, then turned to Shukaku. "You dick!" he shouted up at the creature. "You ginormous _dick_! I get what you're doing, you… you _dick_! You don't care about killing us, or anyone, do you?"

Shukaku leaned forward, its massive bulk filling Naruto's vision. "**Maybe. So what? All that matters to you is that your time on this earth is measured by how amusing you are to me. Are you so sure you should be standing still right now?**" It raised a massive paw slowly, moving with a sort of delicate precision. When the paw was raised up, it flexed, and thousands of spikes of sand jutted out of its pad.

Naruto slowly raised his hand in turn, moving with the same degree of care, then rotated his wrist one hundred and eighty degrees and raised exactly one finger. "You want me to fear you? Well, _fuck_ you!"

* * *

Hiruzen stepped back further as the ash and dust surrounded the stoic Aburame. He could see the man twitch slightly, but he did not stand, nor did he shout out, and his eyes remained on Hiruzen until the technique covered them.

Hiruzen took another step back as the ash took on a familiar shape, then color.

"What blasphemy have you committed, Orochimaru?" he spat.

Orochimaru grinned from where he was kneeling. "You say blasphemy. I say salvation."

The long black hair. The red armor. The forehead protector. Even the eyes looked as warm and inviting as Hiruzen remembered. Then it smiled and stretched with a loud grunt, turning its head from side to side before stopping to look at Orochimaru.

"Yo, Snake-chan," said Hashirama Senju, First Hokage and creator of the Shinobi way of life. "What's it this time? House burned down and needs a new roof? Do I get to save poor little orphans? Or, wait, no, I think I got this, we're going to be doing some of those horrific experiments you enjoy way too much, right?" He reached up and scratched the back of his head, then froze.

Orochimaru nodded, and his mouth quirked up slightly. "That's right, no tag," he said, spreading his empty hands palm up. "No coercion. No force. I brought you here as a favor, for me and for you."

Hashirama's eyebrows shot up, and he looked around again until he saw Hiruzen. "Hey… that's the Hokage's robes." He stepped forward and leaned down, peering up at the Third's face. Then Hiruzen saw the man's eyes sparkle, and without warning, Hashirama stepped forward and wrapped him in a crushing hug. "Hah!" he laughed, "I know that mighty wrinkled brow! Hello, Hiruzen! I see scale face was telling the truth when he said you were running the place! Knew it would happen."

He turned from the clearly-shocked Hokage and looked at Orochimaru again, placing one hand companionably around his former student's shoulders. "Did I ever tell you about the time I beat him with his own monkey, Mister Slithers? He challenged me to a spar, the cheeky thing, an-" A rumbling laugh from the arena below cut off his story, and his eyes narrowed. "Why am I here, Orochimaru?"

"The One-Tailed Beast is running loose," Orochimaru replied, standing up and brushing off his robes. "We have it contained, but we do not have the power to stop it without letting it loose. As we're on the edge of Konohagakure, and as it seems to have a taste for murder, I figured you'd be willing to lend a hand."

* * *

Shukaku did not look amused at Naruto's outburst.

"**Excuse me, little fragile monkey?**"

"You heard me! Fuck you! You can chase me all over this arena, you can smash and roar and mock, but I'll be _damned_ if I'll give you the satisfaction!" A second arm came up, with a second finger firmly raised.

Shukaku leaned back, its giant grin becoming a frown. "**You refuse to fear me?**

"I'm outta the right kind of fingers, so imagine I just raised a third one."

The great beast shrugged, then raised one giant foot and slammed it down with all of its might. The earth beneath his foot cracked and buckled, the damage spreading out from where its foot had landed all the way out to the walls.

And the big, rotund man in one of the corners of the shield staggered out of place.

The walls flickered for only a moment, but that moment was enough for Shukaku to send another wave of darts, these ones smashing into the four corners of the barrier. Three of the team jumped clear, but the round man only screamed as the sand crushed him.

Shukaku took a step forward and leaned down, rummaging through the sand at its feet until it found the crushed and mangled body of the dead Sound shinobi. He pulled the body up by a single leg and stepped forward to hold it over Naruto. The boy looked up into the man's dead eyes, drops of blood splattering on his face.

"**All humans claim they are beyond fear,**" said the beast, shaking the body to allow it to drip more freely. "**All humans lie about it, to themselves most of all. Everyone fears the loss of something. You are willing to defy me when I threaten your life. That does not make you fearless. It just means there is something you value even more that your own meager life.**" It leaned down, down, down, pressing its giant head the the ground before the red-speckled genin.

"**You are a shinobi, and they come in three flavors. One fears death of self. One fears death of their home. And one… one fears for their friends.**"

Naruto was not an idiot, but he was human, and at the thought of his friends in danger, he flinched, just slightly. Haku's reaction was a lot more visible. He snarled and darted at the creature, screaming in anger. Shukaku barely turned its face to look before reaching out and flicking the boy away with a single finger, sending him sailing up into the stands.

Shukaku then rose and nodded slightly, its expression without a trace of the mad glee it had before. "**I'm not going to kill **_**you**_**, little monkey. Oh, no. I want you to cry. I'm going to go for a walk now, and find your little friends, and bring them back here. And I'll hold them in my hands, oh so gently, and let them cry and whimper and beg you to help them. And you'll try, oh, you will try, and you will fail, and when you finally collapse from exhaustion, I will crush them, one by one, slowly, so you can hear every whimper and scream and crack and splat. And then…**"

It released the body in its hands, letting it drop, the force of the fall causing blood and filth to splash on Naruto, who stepped back and stared at the dead man.

"**I'm going to let you live. You'll walk away, live on as long as you will. How long will you keep yourself alive, under that pressure, that agony? How long until you take your own life just to silence the screams?**" The creature laughed, no loud roar of amusement, but a low, dark chuckle. It reached out and poked Naruto gently with his paw, sending the stunned boy to the ground. "**Where are those proud words of defiance, little monkey? Fuck me? No, fuck _you_**."

Naruto looked up at the giant, unstoppable _monster_, and unbidden tears started to form in his eyes. The beast nodded, once, and turned away.

Then it roared as a giant gate of solid wood crashed onto it from above, slamming it into the ground. It struggled to rise, shifting the gate in its efforts, then fell to the ground with a grunt as another slammed on top of the first, then another, and another, each one bigger then the last, each one slamming the others that much deeper into the ground. With a final pained roar, Shukaku faded, leaving only a sobbing Gaara, who was quickly bound with wooden tendrils that burst from the ground.

Naruto could only look on, confused, as the Hokage and the other leaders arrived. Hiruzen knelt and tried to say something, but all Naruto could do was stare at the crying boy in the wood, screaming for his mother to come and defend him, save him, speak to him even, pleading for her to come back.

"Well," said Orochimaru, standing next to Hiruzen, "Only one thing left to do." He moved quickly, darting at the woodbound jinchuuriki, blade drawn. Hiruzen turned to pursue, but he was slow, too slow.

Rasa only watched, his face dour.

Orochimaru came to a stop. He did not spare any words for the crying child. He pulled his arm back and thrusted.

The blade stopped with a clink, and Orochimaru smiled down at the boy in front of him.

"Even after all of that?" he asked quietly.

Naruto glared, the point of Orochimaru's blade resting neatly in the center of the metal plate on his forehead protector. Everyone froze, even Hiruzen, still out of reach.

"No," said the genin. "He's a hurt kid."

"He's a threat," replied the sannin, his face blank, emotionless. "He's crying now, but he'll be laughing again tomorrow, and he will carry a grudge."

"No," said the kyuubi jinchuuriki. "He's suffering."

"He'll try to kill you, and your friends, and your village. Don't let good intentions cost you everything."

"No," said Naruto. "**Or else.**"

Orochimaru leaned over, glaring at the little blond kid defying him, and in a voice so quiet none other could hear him, he whispered, "Good." The sannin then leaned back and pulled his sword away, turning to walk away. "You only made one mistake here, Naruto-kun. Do you know what it was?"

Naruto continued to glare.

Orochimaru looked over his shoulder and grinned. "You turned your back on an enemy."

Then the kunai slid into Naruto's back.

* * *

**AN: **Cliffhangeeeeeer!

I am sorry. I try to avoid this level of cliffhanger, but having not updated in a few months, I felt it would be better to end now, while I can post, instead of waiting another month. Sorry about the lack of posts, busy life, blah blah blah. To be honest, it was mostly that this chapter was a bitch to write. I wanted a quintessential Naruto moment, the never back down determinator that gets things done by a mix of stubborn perseverance and potential self-sacrifice.

To pre-empt a few questions I know I am gonna get:

No, Naruto is not dead.

No, Gaara is not some emotionless stoic nothing. I am basing this character on the premise that Gaara could actually be human eventually, such as he was in the second half of canon. I can't really buy someone going from cheerful and willing slasher to loveable buddy in a few years from getting beat up. Canon Gaara was not coerced into killing for fun, he embraced it. My version… well, details will show up next chapter, but there was a lot more to it than "everyone fears me and wants to kill me."

Yes, Kurama lied last chapter. That'll come up next chapter too.

I usually prefer to do personalized review replies, but alas, that shall have to wait. Going on a road trip, and on return, off to job searching, so assume it'll be a few months before the next one (sorry).

Also, whoot, 1k reviews!

EDIT: Now updated with the fixed version, thanks to **Pom Rania**.


	41. Unpleasant Solutions

"He asked specifically for you."

Kakashi grunted, looking through the one-way mirror at the captive.

Orochimaru had not resisted capture, once the ANBU had jumped into the arena and snatched Naruto away. He had simply stopped where he was, put his sword away, and surrendered to the Hokage. He didn't resist the chakra-disrupting shackles being attached to his wrists, nor the ones on his ankles. He didn't protest the hood over the head, the rough handling, or the bare cell he now sat in, chained securely to the only furniture in the room, a large steel chair that had been anchored to the floor.

He answered questions with notthing more than the basic facts of the fight, which was more than reasonable for the leader of anoth village, and asked no favors, save one.

He wanted to talk to Kakashi.

Everyone involved found this disturbing, no one more so than the man himself.

He turned and gave Morino Ibiki a curious glance. "So, why do you want me to meet him? I was under the impression that we don't usually accommodate your guests, Ibiki."

The scarred special jonin sighed and looked back at the sannin in the other room with a pensive scowl. "Normally, no, but in this case, we have more to gain than lose." He walked away from the window, to the desk in the observation room, and started shuffling a few papers around. "We can't use any genuine interrogation methods. Torturing a hidden village leader who entered under the truce of the chunin exams would be a political nightmare, all the more so after they restrained a rampaging bijuu with the loss of only two shinobi, one of which was his own."

Kakashi grunted at that. The boy, Haku, had survived the casual blow from the Ichibi and the crash landing in the stands, but had suffered some terrible breaks in his right arm and leg, as well as a few other injuries. But one of the Sound shinobi who had been maintaining the cage had been crushed into a paste, and someone Kakashi knew nothing about had apparently died to summon…

"Wait. What about the First?"

Ibiki sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Don't even get me started. I have a particularly useful member of ANBU with him at the moment..."

* * *

Harashima stared at the ANBU.

The ANBU stared back.

In the process of sorting out the new prisoners, Hiruzen had ordered that Hashirama, the founder of Konohagakure, should be brought to a cell for interrogation. None of the ANBU present had seen the wink Hashirama had tossed to Hiruzen before he schooled his face into a glower. The three ANBU had drawn straws to see who would try first.

The first ANBU, who went by Boar, had ordered the First Hokage to march, and when the man did not comply, he had attacked.

His arm would be fine in a few days.

The second ANBU, who went by Eagle, had attempted to bodily carry the First to the cells.

They were picking thorns out of his skin down at the hospital.

The third ANBU was not their usual partner, and had objected to their plans. After they had been led away, he stood there for some time, watching the unmoving legend of his homeland smile and look around in curiosity, and eventually he decided to do the obvious thing when confronting someone far more powerful than yourself.

This ANBU, who happily thought of himself by his code name of Weasel, had politely asked Senju Hashirama to accompany him down to the cells, which the First had cheerfully agreed to do.

Weasel was going to give the other two _so_ much shit when they got back to active duty.

In theory, he was supposed to interrogate Hashirama. Well, the exact order was, "Find out who this really is and why they are here." Under the circumstances, he decided to keep the common sense rolling and started politely asking questions. Hashirama had politely answered, although he was very vague on how he was created by "that fork-tongued miscreant." Weasel suspected that his answers were vague because, to be honest, it's not like he was there to watch the process of his own creation.

For some reason, the T&amp;I member watching from the other side of the glass had decided that Hashirama's answers were unacceptable, and tougher measures were needed.

They were sure the man would wake up any moment now, at the hospital.

So now, they sat alone in the cell, face to face… well, face to mask.

Only now was Weasel willing to take a risk.

He slowly raised his hand, reached out… and moved his dragon horse one square forward.

"Check, Hokage-sama," he said.

Hashirama looked down at the board and laughed. "I never was any good at this," he admitted cheerfully.

* * *

Kakashi grunted again and returned to watching Orochimaru.

The sannin was smiling, right at the glass, right at _Kakashi_. After a moment of thought, Kakashi stepped one pace to the left and noticed Orochimaru's eyes track his movement, in spite of the sheer impossibility of his action, between the glass and the shackles.

"So, why am I going in there?" he asked, stepping to the right and watching the captive.

Ibiki shrugged. "Up until now, he has remained… unhelpful. He periodically taps a code out with his manacles, or whistles a tune that is also a code, or hums something that the codebreakers highly suspect, surprise, is a code." Ibiki grinned in a decidedly unfriendly manner. "So far, all of these codes have carried messages praising the codebreakers for their diligent waste of time and resources. The only thing he has directly said to us was that he wanted to talk to you before we let him go. I am inclined to go along with it, just to get him to talk. Never know what might be useful."

"It could be a setup for escape," said Kakashi.

Ibiki shrugged. "He has enough chakra suppression gear on him, between the manacles and the chair, to keep a… jinchuuriki down." Ibiki frowned at the word out of habit. As a T&amp;I specialist, he needed to be capable of understanding even the most obscure information, so certain laws on information control did not apply to him, which included the laws regarding Naruto and his demon, but long habit made him try to avoid that word. Slipping up and talking about it in public was a good way to get himself executed. "If he does manage to escape, I suspect your interaction with him will be irrelevant to the matter."

Kakashi sighed and looked down at the floor. He didn't need to tell Ibiki that he was disturbed by the request. The T&amp;I leader surely knew, and probably felt the same way. You never gave a prisoner what they asked for. Interrogation was as much about feeling powerless as it was about actual torture, and once the interrogator lost that aura of unstoppable control, it could never be regained. But on the other hand… Kakashi looked at Orochimaru, smiling still at him.

_He hardly looks like he feels powerless, does he?_

As if thinking of him drew his attention, Orochimaru's smile turned into a smug grin, and he said to the glass and his watchers, "I would think you would be willing to risk a mere talk with one of the sannin for the sake of your student, Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi glared at the sannin who could not possibly see him, then nodded to Ibiki.

* * *

Naruto woke with a snort, grumbled, and turned in his bed. Unfortunately for him, it was not his bed. It was in fact much narrower than his bed. The difference in square footage resulted in an undignified tumble to the floor and an equally undignified grunt from the blond. He rested his head against the tile and sighed.

_Wait… tile?_

_Oh no._

Naruto looked up in dismay, already aware of his dreadful fate.

He was in a hospital. The room was bright, white, sterile, and dead. You could taste how dead the air was with every breath. The room was a somewhat private one, with two beds curtained off in a single room, with a door and everything, which just meant people could die alone instead of in a group setting. _And that lemon-scented cleaning fluid? Ugh!_

He heard a light chuckle from the other side of the curtain, and his face flushed. He got up, wincing at the small pain in his back, and stomped over to the curtain. He tossed the fabric aside dramatically, then stopped when he saw Haku grinning at him from the bed. The boy's right arm and leg were in a cast, and Naruto could see the edge of bandaging around the boy's chest from the cut of the hospital gown he was wearing.

"Forgive me, Naruto," Haku said warmly. "I would have helped you up, but you can see I am in no condition to-" Haku got no further before being suddenly silenced with a careful but strong hug from his blond friend. After a moment of confusion, he hugged Naruto back with his good arm. "You okay, Naruto?"

From Haku's shirt, Naruto mumbled, "I thought you would be dead, like the other guy."

Haku smiled at that. "I was close enough, thank you. I hit a bench along the one side and tumbled from there. I'm lucky I came out as well as I did, I suppose."

They stayed that way for a few moments more, then Haku sighed and pushed Naruto away slightly. "I'd love to catch up, but technically, I'm not aligned with your village, so I doubt they want me to be too chatty." Naruto was about to ask what Haku meant, then turned to see the ANBU member standing in the corner of the room, watching them silently.

The ANBU stepped forward once he had both of their attention, stepping until he was in front of Naruto. "Hokage-sama wants to speak to you as soon as you are well enough, Uzumaki. He waits to see the extent of your injury before he passes judgement on Gaara of the Sands."

Naruto stared at the ANBU, slightly confused, but that confusion began to fade quickly as the memories of the last few days. "Judgement," he repeated, his eyes narrowing.

* * *

Kakashi carried a simple chair into interrogation room, sat on it, then leaned forward and rested his chin on a fist. "I don't suppose you want to explain what happened today?" he asked cheerfully, as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Orochimaru shrugged, or did so as well as he could. Unlike Kakashi, he was bound to his own chair, carefully and completely. He had been compliant even since Gaara had been subdued. He was being so damned accommodating.

_Why?_

Orochimaru's lips twitched slightly, then lifted into his trademark smirk.

"Because I have nothing to hide here," he said.

Kakashi leaned back slowly and glared at the sannin. It was obviously a trick. Kakashi was hardly a novice when it came to manipulating others with cold readings and mind games. _But I'm not speaking, so how does he know what I am thinking?_

"Because I know everything."

Kakashi's one visible eyebrow rose, then lowered into a glower.

He thought of the one thing the sannin would never expect, the friend he had failed. He thought of-

"Obito."

"Nice trick," said Kakashi with a disgruntled sigh. "I assume you're showing off for a reason, Orochimaru. If you're all that bored, I'll accommodate you. Any other little games you would like to play?"

If anything, the snake's grin grew larger. "I would think you of all people would be more cautious with what you ask me, but yes, I have another game for you. How would you like to know what happened to Rin?" he asked, his voice filled with good cheer.

Kakashi froze, the only way he could think of to hide his shock. The moment he did so, he realized that his inaction would be more than enough of an indicator of his interest.

"You never did find out what happened, did you?" Orochimaru's grin did not fade, but he tilted his head down slightly, giving himself a more ominous appearance. "You ran and searched and hunted, but you never found her after she was taken away. Don't you sometimes wonder, in the depths of the night when you cannot avoid such thoughts, what ever happened to the girl who cared so much for you?"

Kakashi swallowed, trying to return moisture to his suddenly-dry throat, trying to ignore his own sense of unease and resist the desire to walk away. Orochimaru had to have a reason to tell him about this. "I suppose now you're going to make me an offer I can't refuse? Betray my country in exchange for whatever you pretend to know?"

Orochimaru shook his head and leaned back slightly, looking up at the single bare lightbulb, staring at it for several seconds as his face went from cheerful to somber, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. "No… I think not. No bargain, no offer, no favors. Just a gift, from one shinobi to another, from one of the few people who can really and truly understand your loss."

Kakashi snorted, which elicited a chuckle from the captive. "Yes, I suppose I am laying it on a bit thick, aren't I? Still… it amuses me to offer this gift, because I know exactly how valuable it is for you, and how valuable it is for me as well. But I won't force the discussion. It's on you if you want to have that certainty, or if you'd rather remain in the dark with your questions."

Kakashi grinned under his mask. "Sure. Tell me your fictional account of what happened."

"She's dead."

Kakashi rolled his one visible eye. "Of course she is. She never came back."

Orochimaru nodded once. "Yes, but not for lack of effort. She was taken away, then escaped. In theory. In truth, she was let free, with a deadly trap set within her that might well have decimated your village."

"And I supposed you killed her," Kakashi said, his voice dripping with disinterest.

"No." Orochimaru leaned forward, and his grin faded. "She killed herself. I came across her, being hunted by shinobi under order to make it look good. Good to, say, a young jonin with a burning desire to keep her alive. The trap that she had within her was of interest to me, so I engaged her hunters, intending to capture her for myself. The girl didn't hesitate to step in front of my blade during that fight, and died with your name on her lips."

He smirked at Kakashi. "Can you imagine what might have happened if you had found her? If you had been tasked with ending her life to save your village? Can you imagine her blood running through your fingers as you pulled your arm out of the gaping hole you just ripped into her chest? How broken might you have been?"

Kakashi stood up and glared at the sannin. "You want to anger me. Me, personally. How does that aid your escape?"

Orochimaru laughed. "Escape? Why escape? I've committed no crime. I even took part in saving Konohagakure, despite my past history with it. To do anything but release me would have a terrible effect on the world's view of Konohagakure. I can imagine it now. The old Hokage, slaying a former enemy now turned ally. I bet that would play well with all of his other allies, all of whom this village has gone to war with at some point in the past."

He laughed at Kakashi's stormy look. "No, this is a gift, the gift of certainty. She _is_ dead. You _failed _her. And now you _know_ her fate. Rejoice, Hatake Kakashi! I banish the ghost of uncertainty from within you."

"Sure," said Kakashi, his voice cold. "I'm sure I believe you. Back to the subject at hand, what all does this have to do with my students? You mentioned this visit was for their benefit."

Orochimaru shrugged again. "We all know the penalty young Gaara will pay. He directly attacked civilians and shinobi who had come under a banner of peace. Mere D-ranked missions would not cover for this. You know what the more influential of the crowd will want, and you know that Rasa will not object in any way." His manacles clanked slightly as he shifted in his seat. "I wonder what Naruto-kun will think, when they drag this container forward to his death. I wonder if he'll really trust the village any more, after it's all done." He smirked.

Kakashi grunted. "You're very convincing, pretending to care about my student as anything but a potential source of power for you. If it wasn't you saying it, I might have been inclined to believe you. But from you? Not so much. Whatever you're trying to do, Orochimaru, you know we'll oppose you. Bet on it."

They both glanced at the door as Ibiki stepped in. "Time's up," he said, his voice gruff but polite. He walked over and started undoing the locks on Orochimaru's chair. "Orochimaru of the Sannin, you are to be freed from captivity. Thank you for your compliance in this matter. The Hokage requests your presence, Lord Orochimaru, to discuss resolution of this event and the fate of Gaara of the Sands."

* * *

It was, in the end, a calculated risk, but one that Kakashi knew he had to take. Technically, it was a treasonous act, but Kakashi believed it to be the better of the two options. Better a charge of treason for him than risk losing Naruto and his unwilling passenger, assuming it ever came to light, and assuming the Hokage wouldn't agree with him anyhow.

He slipped a note to Jiraiya, who had been waiting outside the ANBU headquarters in case he was needed. Jiraiya glanced at the note, set his face, and started walking up the street. He happened to pass Naruto coming the other way, who managed to keep his own face even when he felt Jiraiya slip something into his pocket. He nonchalantly turned a corner and pulled out the note.

_K- They will kill him for a demon, when he is not one. Don't let them set that precedent. Be yourself._

Naruto smirked and popped the rice paper into his mouth. Not that he intended to any less...

* * *

The Hokage sighed deeply and looked at the two men with him.

Rasa looked remarkably unconcerned about the meeting. He had entered the Hokage's office without a word and sat quietly, hunched into his chair, quiet and brooding. Hiruzen was not surprised, because there seemed to be no good path for the Kazekage. Reparations were almost certain. Letting a jinchuuriki loose in another village during peace was no small thing.

Orochimaru, meanwhile, had been smirking at them from the moment he entered the room. He too was sitting quietly, his piercing eyes never leaving his former teacher's face. This also was no surprise for the Hokage. Orochimaru had largely prevented a terrible tragedy within a village that he was technically competing with, even losing a shinobi in the process. He had been seen personally defending villagers from the sand attacks, which happened to include many potential employers. He had cooperated fully with the investigation. The amount of political capital he had earned from this event was staggering.

The damn transcript of Orochimaru's "interrogation" did nothing to help matters. Hiruzen suspected that Orochimaru had requested Kakashi's presence solely to ensure word would eventually get back to Naruto if they ended up executing Gaara, assuming it was not an attempt to subvert Kakashi himself by drawing comparison between Gaara and Naruto.

"Traditionally," Hiruzen said after a few moments of silence, "the penalty for such a breach of peace is death, and in this case, it may be more a mercy than a punishment, to judge by the boy's temperament. It would be well within my rights to demand this, and doing so would lead to destruction. We all know this."

Rasa nodded at that. He could refuse, of course, and would have to do so if he wanted his village to retain its meager business. A Kage would never look so weak. Then the Hokage would have to choose between losing business and support from customers who would interpret that choice as a sign of weakness, or declaring war and wiping Sunagakure from the face of the earth.

Doing so would be fairly easy for Konohagakure, but it would draw away resources and cost the lives of some of its shinobi. Konoha was still weakened from the last war and the kyuubi's rampage twelve years ago, and the loss of a meaningful portion of its forces would invite other villages to attack.

"Unfortunately, the boy is also Sunagakure's jinchuuriki. If I were to execute the boy, it would happen here and now, and the one-tailed beast would be lost for some time until it reappears, as Rasa has informed me that he has no container ready for it. This loss would ruin the balance now held by the five great nations, and makes execution a political bombshell that I am uncomfortable messing with.

"Thus, this meeting. I wanted to ask you two if you can think of any alternatives."

Orochimaru raised a single eyebrow. "You, Hiruzen, are asking me for advice?"

Hiruzen sighed and palmed his face. "I have no doubt anything you tell me will be to your benefit more than anything else, and it galls me to make the offer. But I do remember how intelligent you are. Faced with the prospect of _another_ shinobi world war, I'll gladly take your advice into consideration."

Rasa ignored Orochimaru's answering chuckle and spoke quietly. "I can have a new container ready within a couple weeks. If it comes to it, we can leave him in his cell until then. Deprivation may weaken him, make the extraction easier."

Hiruzen frowned at that, but to his surprise, Orochimaru was the one who replied. "So, you want the Hokage to hold and torture one of your citizens, and your own child no less, for weeks. Surely you don't think that will go well? It's either doom on you or doom on them, and both have the same result in the end."

Rasa's head snapped around, and for possibly the first time since he arrived, he looked truly angry. "Maybe you have a better alternative, rather than sitting there smugly telling us what we already know? Because right now, we're looking at two options: either he dies here, relatively quick and easy, or I drag him off back to Suna, prolonging his life by mere weeks and probably making him suffer more."

"We're trying to find a way to not kill your child, Rasa," said Hiruzen, waving his hands gently for calm. "There is no need-"

"There _is_ need," said Rasa, crossing his arms and glaring at the Hokage. "My village already runs close to starvation. Where other villages of our power have fully grown and active jinchuuriki, mine is still young, and slaying him to reclaim the demon will only leave us that much weaker. Another ten long years before we can even pretend to be able to defend ourselves. And yet I cannot risk bringing the boy back with me. He's already shown a frightening degree of cunning, which is a fine trait for a shinobi, but not against his own village." He opened his mouth to continue, then stopped at the sudden thump against the door to the office.

That door then opened, letting loose a flood of orange-clothed Naruto clones. They spilled into the room in a wave, all yelling and rolling and wrestling with things hidden within the ocean of orange. Hiruzen briefly saw the arm of his secretary push its way into view, only to have that arm tackled by three more orange bodies and wrestled away.

Hiruzen distinctly heard a snort from his former student and glanced aside to see Orochimaru, with an otherwise stern look on his face, biting his lip and shaking slightly. _Is he… laughing?_

The flood of clones counted down to three in a largely disorganized way, and then with a shout of "Hup!" they rose, standing on one another to form a tunnel of orange, through which Naruto walked in, his eyes blazing. As soon as he was in, one of the security ANBU moved in, putting the boy in a headlock and lifting him off his feet. Naruto did not kick or shout. He simply glared at the three old men.

"You know better than to barge in, Naruto," said Hiruzen gravely. "You know that we discuss things here that, should you hear them, you might be punished."

"Like killing a kid who was only doing what they were raised to do," Naruto said, his voice cold. It was not a question, but a statement, and Hiruzen felt a moment of shame before he tamped it down. _This is hardly the first time I've considered something others my see as immoral. _He opened his mouth, ready to assign punishment and have Naruto removed, but at that moment, he heard a snort from Orochimaru, followed by a chuckle, and eventually, a full throated laugh. He looked at Orochimaru and raised an eyebrow, and the sannin at least had the dignity to cover his mouth as he laughed.

"Sorry, sorry," Orochimaru said once his laugh subsided. "That was the stupidest, brashest, and quite possibly the most earnest thing I have ever heard. I would love to say I was surprised at your genin's attitude, but to be truthful, I have been waiting for him to snap since he stepped in front of my blade, and he did not disappoint." Orochimaru grinned at Naruto, then at Hiruzen.

"What if I told you there is an easy way to not only keep your strength and standing, but to enrich your village as well, Kazekage-sama?" He leaned back, his face grave. "I have a lot of work ahead of me, and my own shinobi are talented but relatively few in number, at least compared to Konohagakure. And while we are hardly rich as a village, I have more than a little discretionary funding right now, from my own efforts. I would not be averse to hiring the boy for a single long-term mission, a general job to assist me as I get my village running. Then, you retain the power of your son, at least on paper, and I have someone who can help me with my less pleasant jobs."

"You want the boy as a shinobi?" Rasa asked cooly.

Orochimaru nodded. "It's not like I don't have a method to control him, if need be."

Hiruzen frowned. The idea of Orochimaru having access to a tailed beast, no matter how restricted or indirect, chilled him to the core. "I find this idea concerning. Surely you're not considering sending the boy with my former student, Rasa? You're no better off, and he's hardly going to be returned to you with any less bloodlust. You know some of his history. You can't possibly trust him."

Rasa frowned and leaned back in his chair, away from Hiruzen… and slightly towards Orochimaru. "I trust him no more than I do you, Hokage, but of the two of you, he is the only one that offers a plan that results in some gain for my village. It's easy to speak of bad choices over money when you have plenty of it."

Orochimaru smirked, and Hiruzen gave a little internal sigh. _Damn._ The Kazekage was a man who made his own mind, as did most leaders, and directly questioning his choice only went to reinforce it.

It was a mistake. And worse, it was a _stupid_ mistake. Hiruzen was no political novice, and he was more than adept at dealing with narrow minded and egotistical people. Why would he ever do such a damned fool thing? Hiruzen leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to fight the feeling of weight settled upon him, of exhaustion.

"So trade us."

Hiruzen opened his eyes and stared at Naruto, still dangling by the neck in the arms of his ANBU guard, glaring. He had forgotten the boy was even in the room, and now he was looking at Hiruzen with anger and determination warring on his features. After a moment, Naruto's face softened as the anger faded. "You taught me to be good, Jij… Hokage-sama. You taught me to be _sane_. So trade me for Gaara for a while and see if you can get him sane too."

Rasa stood and glared down at the blond boy, who returned the glare. "You are aware," the Kazekage said coldly, "if we were to agree to this, you will be a shinobi of Sunagakure. You will not be some coddled child hiding in the shade of the forest around you. The desert has no room for weakness."

Naruto grunted and crossed his arms. His body swung slightly in the grip of the ANBU as he tried to shrug, then stopped when he settled for continuing to glare. Rasa grunted back, and the ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. _He has spirit,_ he thought to himself, trying to make the boy flinch away from his look. _Good. Worst case, Gaara snaps and gets killed, which leaves the village no worse than where it is now. I lose some face with this, but I retain my power, and it only improves the appearance of our alliance._ He looked to Hiruzen and raised an eyebrow.

Hiruzen wanted to refuse. It was a terrible deal for him, all the more so as he'd probably be required to keep Gaara's chakra sealed to keep the boy docile, which would render him almost useless as a shinobi. But as much as it pained him, he could _not_ let Orochimaru get a hold of Gaara. Who knew what twisted things the snake could do or learn from such a deal? He glanced at the sannin and saw his blank look, the one he knew so well, the one that said that he wanted nobody to know what he was thinking. Considering the man's previously jaunty manner, the change was telling.

"One year," he said eventually, looking at Naruto as he did so. "One year, and we'll see where it goes from there. I'll need you to fulfill a few requirements before we do so…" He nodded to Rasa. "But I agree."

Rasa turned to Naruto. "Be at your main gate at sundown. Pack light."

Orochimaru rose at once, smooth and fast, and stormed out the door, and made it almost down the hallway before his face slipped into a satisfied smirk. _Not what I wanted, _he admitted to himself, _but it will serve well enough._

* * *

Hashirama looked up from his place in his cell and smiled at his ANBU companion. "It's been fun," he said cheerfully, his skin slowly dissolving into ash, "but it looks like I'm done here. Tell Sarutobi to be a good little kid, and have a camera ready for his reaction." He sent a wink to Weasel, who nodded seriously. He then closed his eyes, sighed, and let his body dissolve once more.

* * *

Gaara felt conflicted.

Mother's voice had been very quiet even since he was captured. He could only guess that it was because of the restraints he was wearing, the same that cut off her power. And yet in spite of those restraints and the uncomfortable chair he was chained to, he felt… good. The room he was in stayed a consistent temperature, instead of the sudden changes from harsh heat to bitter cold out in the desert. The single lightbulb was bright enough to see, without glaring in his eyes like the sun. And Mother… Mother was blessedly quiet.

They were enemies. They would kill him. He didn't need Mother's voice to tell him that.

But everything was so quiet, especially within.

Gaara fell asleep, and for the first time in a long, long time, he did not dream.

He didn't awake until the door to the cell opened, and when he looked up, he saw the Hokage walk in. Then he felt a chill in his heart, because the blond boy from the arena walked in as well. The boy he'd tried to crush. They boy he tried to break. The boy he stabbed in the back, desperately trying to get Mother to come back to him.

She had left him.

She always left him.

They all left him.

_**He's going to kill you,**_ whispered Mother, her voice distant, faded.

_I know,_ he thought back.

"Go ahead," he said, bowing his head. "Do it."

He waited, and after a few moments, he looked up at the boy, who was unmoving. He was staring at Gaara with a strange, distant look in his eyes. After a moment, he walked forward, reaching into his pocket and drawing a kunai. Gaara shut his eyes and sighed.

_Finally, there will be peace._

He opened his eyes when he heard the click of a lock, and he felt the weight of the chains on his body fall away, even though his arms remained restrained. The blond stepped back and smiled. "You'll have to keep the wrist things, but you're going to be free to move about the village."

The Hokage walked over and put a hand on the shoulder of the blond. "Naruto here has made a deal with your father. You will stay here with us, so we can help you deal with your… mother. Naruto will return to Sunagakure to work for your father until such time as you're ready to return."

Gaara shook his head and did his best to take on the menacing look he was comfortable with, even if Mother was not encouraging it. "I'll only end up killing you eventually… Naruto. I'll watch you bleed, and Mother will laugh with me." He cringed slightly. Without his Mother's power, his threats rang empty, even to him. Still, the old man at least seemed concerned.

Naruto stepped forward, raising the arm with the kunai, and Gaara flinched slightly, until he felt the hilt of the weapon pushed into one of his hands. A fist closed over his own, holding the weapon tight, and the boy, Naruto, pulled his arm up until the blade was pressed to his gut.

"I don't believe you," Naruto said, looking Gaara in the eyes, unflinching. "I don't think you _want_ to kill me. You might be _willing_ to, if Mother tells you to. And then she'll leave you, like she always does, and you'll have to kill someone else to bring her back, again and again and again. So, do it, and bring her back for a few seconds. Otherwise, try something else."

Gaara could not speak. He could not even look at Naruto. His eyes were focused on the boy's hand, his hand, and the warm, soft hand that was _touching_ him. No sand. _Him_. He only looked up when Naruto stepped forward and put an arm around his shoulder, _his _shoulder.

"I don't have much time, I need to get ready to go, but before I do, I need to introduce you to the wonders of Ichiraku Ramen."

* * *

It took only a few minutes to get Gaara and Teuchi acquainted. The old man caught on fairly quick, and loudly proclaimed, "Any friend of Naruto is a friend of Ichiraku Ramen!" Gaara was obviously bewildered, but he was also quietly polite, which was good enough for now.

It was a little harder to get Sakura and Sasuke to give Gaara the benefit of the doubt and put down their weapons when they found the two of them there, and they were more than a little angry that Naruto had signed up for the time in Suna without at least talking to them. Sakura in particular looked ready to snap. But in the face of a long time apart, they did their best to let the frustration go for one more meal with their teammate. "We're having a talk when you get back, though," Sakura warned him.

Naruto left them all with a cheerful wave. He was happy to see Gaara wave back, even if he looked hesitant and confused. The weasel-masked ANBU who was assigned to watch over Gaara and ensure both the boy's safety and well-being waved as well, causing Naruto to smirk. _At least they gave him a guard with some personality._

He dashed home and barely slowed down when he saw Kakashi sitting in his living room.

"What's up, Kakashi-sensei?" he asked in passing, darting into his room to dig through his clothes. He pulled out several undershirts, and was just looking for some spare underwear, when he felt Kakashi's hand land on his shoulder. He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. "I know, I know, I shouldn't have jumped into the ring, but you saw-" He stopped when he felt Kakashi's arm go around him in a firm hug. "Uhhh, you okay, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi let go and turned Naruto around, still crouched down to be level. "I'm sorry, Naruto. When you jumped into the arena, and you tapped your… extra chakra, I thought it was no longer you. Instead of trying to help you, I dragged your teammates out and left you with the monster. Can you forgive me for that?" There was no begging tone, no teary eyes. Just a statement of failure, and a request for forgiveness.

Naruto looked at Kakashi's serious expression, and after a moment, he scoffed. "You may not have heard it, sensei, but I warned Sakura about the same possibility when it happened. I didn't know either. Besides, you got them out, which is all I wanted anyhow. There is only one problem, though."

Kakashi shut his eye, ready for anything.

Anything, perhaps, except for Naruto reaching up and tugging his mask down.

He opened his eye, just in time for the camera flash.

As he blinked away the flash, he realized he was alone in the room. Fading into the distance, he could hear the boy shouting, "This thing's worth three month's pay! Right before a trip too! Forgiveness granted!"

Kakashi smirked, suddenly light hearted, and made his way outside to give chase.

* * *

**A/N:** Before you ask: Dragon Horse is the literally-translated name for one of the pieces in Shogi. +1 if you caught it.

**EDIT: **Because I suspect people are wondering why the hell Hiruzen made a bad move and otherwise is not fighting Orochimaru tooth and nail, (**spoiler for canon ahead)** I remind you that he recently interacted with Danzo. You know, the guy who in canon aligned himself with Orochimaru? The guy who can plant subliminal message style mind control without even eye contact? _Who just told Hiruzen, with a glance, to go along with Orochimaru's plan during that fight? _I intended to drop that later, but I've gotten a few angry letters, so I figured I had better spell it out here for those of you who were thinking along those lines. This is not a Hiruzen-bash fic.

Those of you wanting Naruto-centric writing, here's your part :). From here, we will follow Naruto in one direction, and Sasuke and Sakura in another (possibly with the occasional side chapter, if I find something interesting enough to write). Good times ahead, good times.

Sorry about the wait, but I've been living in interesting times lately, and when they are less interesting, I've mostly been relaxing and reading instead of writing. Still, this is the end of canon in this story, and I wave it goodbye without a second glance. I understand quite well why people avoid the exam arc when they can, and am quite enthused that my plans have almost no relation to canon after this. Also, chapter length should improve, now that I'm out of the bad place.

Thanks to **Pom Rania** and **Heaven's Beta** for, well, beta-ing.

I get a lot of reviews nowadays (thanks, guys), so I probably can't cover them all. If I miss you, sorry, but I appreciate you all the same.

**BSCace** mentioned being a little put off by Kakashi's personality in the first chapter (although they stuck about afterwards, and seemed to enjoy). I must admit, I can understand that, and wish I could introduce him a little less forcefully. But at this point, I am deliberately avoiding rewrites, so I'll have to eat that error. For now. Thanks for giving me the heads up, however.

A **Guest** characterized Sakura as a "pathetic Inuzuka knock-off," and was sick of authors "shoving her aside." Thank you. I needed that laugh.

**Rogue Hunter** mentioned that Ino was portrayed a little heavy. While I agree that in time she was a lot less… Ino, I watched only the early anime when rewriting this, and Ino there is quite the spoiled princess, and at least twice did things that could have gotten her team killed if their opposition was competent. In the end, I decided to roll with that characterization, mostly because it predated her entry into the Blandness Closet most of the females of the story got shoved into eventually.

**Marvelous Mad Madam Mimzy **mentioned pleasure at not being disappointed in a fandom full of disappointment, but that's not why I mention their name. I did it just to see if I could type it all without having to re-read the name by the time I finished. Turns out, I couldn't.

**David92 **"hates my fucking guts" for the cliffhanger last chapter, in a good way, it seems. Sorry, Dave. I try to avoid that level of cliffhanger, but at that point, it was either cliffhanger or delay another month.

**sultryvoice** mentioned that it was "not even possible" for Sasuke to be an honorary Aburame. Honorary membership in a clan, family, or organization is an almost universal idea, usually done in gratitude for a major service or deed on behalf of the clan/fam/org in question. I could see that argument being made for a exceedingly formal and insular clan, such as the Hyuga, but we know so little of the canon Aburame that I see no reason it would not be a viable option. Ehh, just consider it part of my "story suicide." Or did you mean literary seppuku?

**Jack Inqu **mentioned that Shukaku was wrong, as Root operatives fear nothing, except for maybe failing their mission… which is fear, and one easily manipulated by the big, nigh-unstoppable monster.

Hey, **half truths**? YOU WERE IT! 1000th reviewer! Thanks! Here is your free coupon to Trollrochimaru's Ramen Bar. Gotta love the tagline for his shop, "Nothing is saltier than my readers, but my ramen comes close!"

**Short Omake Theater Presents**

"**Trollrochimaru Love, Chapter II: Into Tobi's Sock Drawer"**

Itachi bit his lip and focused all of his will and chakra into his eyes, refusing to look away from the red eyes across from him. It had been almost an hour, and hour of brutal sharingan conflict, and no matter how well he did, he was still losing.

"Hey," said Kisame, leaning in from a conveniently placed doorway, "Itachi! What's taking you? I want to go get something to eat before our shitty writer tries to write another trashy scene with me." He shuddered and walked into the room. "Why he wants me to do anything with Sasori's hundred puppets is beyond me, but I know it's gonna hurt like hell… What are you doing?"

Itachi's gaze didn't waver. "I am fighting for my life and sanity."

Kisame leaned over his friend's shoulder and looked around. "I don't get it. It's just a dresser. And all you're doing is staring at yourself in the mirror."

A single bead of sweat started to run down Itachi's face, sliding into his eye and causing it to burn, but still, Itachi did not waver. "This is Tobi's dresser, and I feel the irresistible urge to open the top drawer, root around in there, and do _things_ with whatever I find."

Itachi watched his blue-skinned partner scratch the back of his head. "So why the mirror?" came the inevitable question.

"I happened to catch my gaze as I approached, and have been using my sharingan to convince myself that there is no dresser to open."

Kisame whistled. "Color me impressed. Well, let me just drag you away then… damn."

"What," said Itachi, suddenly concerned as Kisame's hand slowly started to move into his field of view.

"I… have the sudden urge to open Tobi's sock drawer, root around, and use whatever I find… on you."

Itachi shuddered, doing his best to hold off both himself and Kisame within the illusion. Then, he heard the worst possible sound he could imagine under the circumstances… the rattle of Sasori's artificial body. His eyeless artificial body. "What's going on… oh damn." There was the sound of scrolls being unfurled, and the puff of smoke from the storage seals going off. "Sorry, guys," said Sasori, as the puppets began to close in.

_I hate this writer_, Itachi thought.


	42. Leaving Home

It had taken Naruto almost an hour to evade Kakashi, but in the end, the photo was safely delivered to Anko, who haggled a bit before settling for giving Naruto eighty percent of the betting pool before he left. From there, Naruto had run to a clothing shop that offered good prices to him, grabbing a few pairs of shorts and a few lightweight shirts. He then ran to a supply store to grab some basic food and a canteen. Finally, a trip to a weapon shop let him load his pouch with spare kunai and a few storage scrolls to pack with. At each one, the shopkeepers had been remarkably friendly, and Naruto suspected the clothing shop had given him a discount. It was a surprise, but a pleasant one, so he smiled and moved along.

Packing had been depressingly easy. One scroll to carry the supplies needed to maintain his swords and to keep his kunai sharp, along with a few heavier sets of clothes, in case his missions had him leave the desert. A second scroll was loaded with a few luxuries, such as a selection of his favorite cup ramen, his toothbrush, and his sleeping hat and pyjamas. Everything else was left where it was, except for his houseplants, which he put out onto the windowsill so Sakura could pick them up later.

He looked at his home, already feeling empty despite his presence, and sighed. Without being around to pay the rent, the apartment would probably revert back to the pool of subsidized living quarters the village held for those in need. If so, his possessions would be packed and placed in storage until he returned, or until the village believed him dead. It was more efficient that way, with how many shinobi risked life and death while living in such housing. That thought brought no comfort to him. Efficient just meant impersonal.

His window slid aside, and Guy leaned in, giving Naruto a cheerful smile. "Found them," he said, holding out two swords, carefully wrapped in soft cloth. Naruto took them and started to look them over. He noted that the chakra metal was untouched, but there were a few abrasions and marks on the untreated metal. He rubbed at them softly with the cloth.

He was so focused on the blades that he didn't realize Guy had entered the room fully until the big man laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch slightly. "Something wrong, Naruto?" asked Guy, his voice friendly and calm.

It took Naruto a few moments to reply, and when he did, it was almost a whisper. "I've left before, but now… This may be the last time I see this place. I miss it already, and I haven't even left."

Guy nodded sagely, then gave Naruto his best non-sparkly smile. He'd volunteered to drop off the swords in Kakashi's place, because as much as Guy appreciated his friend, he suspected Kakashi could never really understand homesickness, having had no real home after the loss of his father. "That is true, but there is a better way to think of it. You're not leaving home, you're having an adventure, one that you can tell all the little genin about when they ask you how you became Hokage." He gave Naruto a pat on the shoulder. "All shinobi miss home. In truth, all warriors feel that pain. But what is the alternative? Stay at home, work in a shop maybe, or guard the village gates? Become a paper ninja?"

Naruto snorted.

"Exactly," said Guy. "That's not your nature any more than it is mine. Don't think of this as leaving home, Naruto. Think of this as an opportunity to see some of the world before the mountain of paperwork that comes with the Hokage's hat cements you to his illustrious chair."

Naruto grinned a little at that. He was not delusional, and he had noticed how literal that mountain could be. And he might have friends now, and teachers, and teammates, but he still wanted his face on that mountain of stone outside, paperwork and all.

He picked up his bag, feeling a little less worried about the whole thing, and turned to leave, then stopped. "Hey, Guy-sensei, do me a favor and watch Kakashi-sensei, please. He was acting all weird and mopey earlier, and I don't want to come back to find out he drove Team 7 apart by being an emo crybaby. Okay? Tell him those exact words if you have to."

Guy laughed. "After the youthful chase you gave him turning in what my fellow jonin are already calling the Glorious Naruto Vengeance Photo, I think he'll be fine… but don't worry, I'll make sure to stoke the fires of his youth so much he'll forget all about it." He said this in a remarkably restrained voice, and he gave Naruto a wink. "Yoooooouuuuuth," he said quietly, turning his usual battlecry into a haunting whisper.

Naruto nodded and left his old apartment, his stride steady and a smile on his face.

* * *

Naruto had to stop by Ichiraku's one last time before he left. He could hardly leave without one last glorious bowl to remember. The one with Gaara earlier hardly counted, he had been too busy setting the skittish boy at ease to really enjoy it.

Apparently, everyone had figured as much, because there was a small crowd of his colleagues hovering around.

Sakura was sitting on the ground, waving a small piece of string in front of Kieri and pulling it away whenever the cat started to move. Ino and Lee were thumb-wrestling with a degree of effort that defied the simple nature of the game, and when Lee finally pinned Ino's thumb, Tenten rolled her eyes and passed Choji some money with a grumble as the larger boy cheered. To one side, Sasuke and Shino were quietly conversing with Shikamaru, who looked somewhat more focused than he usually got when off duty. On the other side, Neji and Kiba were having another quiet discussion with Hinata, who looked ready to bolt.

Akamaru started to yap from his place on Kiba's head, and everyone fell quiet and turned to face him as he approached, their faces an odd mix of good cheer, concern, and interest. "Hey guys," he said, working to keep his voice even. "What's going on?"

Sakura smiled at him. "Kakashi dropped by to let us know what's going on. You're going to be gone a long time. We're all here to see you off, Naruto."

This did not get the reaction they expected. Naruto took a step back, his eyes wandering from face to face. "It's not a big deal," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "You don't have to be here, I'm sure you have better things to…" His voice faded as the group shared a look, after which Sasuke walked over to Naruto's side.

Then he punched the blond in the arm. Hard.

"Hey!"

"Naruto," said Sasuke, smirking at his friend, "stop being so freaked out. You have friends, and friends say goodbye to one another before they go on a big trip."

"We'll miss you," Hinata said timidly. She raised her hands, her fingers starting to tap each other, before she seemed to realize what she was doing and forced her arms back down.

"Why?" asked Shino, adjusting his glasses. "Because it is the nature of any organized grou-"

He stopped as Kiba put him in a friendly headlock and grinned at Naruto. "Let me translate for Stuffy here. You're one of us. You helped your team when that Gaara kid was gonna kill them, and you helped Hinata too. Even if we weren't cool before, we are now. So come have some of this slop you like so much already."

Ino looked ready to speak when suddenly the group as a whole fell silent and still, staring over Naruto's shoulder. He turned and saw Gaara and his ANBU guard approaching along the street. The weasel-masked escort was pointing out various things, as if he was a tour guide more than a jailor, and Gaara was following the man's directions with, for him, a great deal of interest. It was only when the two got within a few steps away that Weasel put a hand out and stopped Gaara, who first glanced at the man, then looked forward and froze.

The silence on the street was chilling as the entire group glared at the Suna shinobi. Some, like Hinata, were fearful, and some, like Kiba, were belligerent, but every one of them glared as hard as they could at the cause of their goodbyes.

Everyone but Naruto, who smiled and walked over to the red-haired boy. His movements were easy and slow, as nonthreatening as any shinobi could be, and he stopped just out of reach to gave the boy a nod. "Hey, Gaara. They giving you the tour?"

Gaara nodded silently, his eyes darting from face to face. He opened his mouth to speak, then let it slowly close as his words faltered under the strength of the group's combined glares, their disdain, their _hate_. His eyes kept moving until they fell upon the face of the girl with the pale eyes. She looked fit to cry just from his presence, and he was both proud and appalled that he now understood why. He stared at her, uncertain what he could say to her, to any of them, that could ever make those glares fade, and worst of all, he could understand why.

_I would have killed them all for a monster's ability to pretend to care for me. I would have murdered them, _slaughtered _them. Even now, that girl's blood would be a part of my sand. I would have _laughed _at her cries of pain and terror. Laughed, and reached for more..._

Gaara always understood how to interact with others on an intellectual level. He was nothing if not observant. He simply had not bothered, when everyone was only worth whatever praise he could get from within. But now, in the face of understanding on an emotional level what he had become under the influence of the creature within him, he could not deny the painful truth that if he had not been a monster from birth, he had certainly become a monster by choice.

People who suffered at the hands of monsters often became monster hunters.

He did not notice Naruto had moved until the boy's arm draped softly over his shoulder, causing him to flinch slightly before he turned to face his… what? Counterpart? Fellow container?

… _Friend?_

_**Never friend**_, came the voice in his mind, whispering the same dreadful words she always did, the same painful, terrible, accurate words he was so used to hearing. Her voice was quiet and distant, the lightest touch upon his mind where once it had been a shout strong enough to drown out the world. _**He may have saved you, but in the end, only one cares for you, and it is not any of them. If your own family would see you dead, what will **_**they** _**do to you...**_

Gaara stiffened, feeling the urge to flee from the cold eyes watching him, only for Naruto to give him a pat on the back as he leaned in to whisper, "Remember what she does. Don't let her be the cause of your loneliness."

Gaara looked at his… friend, and nodded, focusing his will until he could barely hear Moth… "mother's" whispers. _There is nothing I can do to redeem myself in their eyes… but there is something I must do, all the same._ He opened his mouth to speak, but realized he was talking to the wrong person for what he needed to say.

"I'm... sorry," he said, facing the wall of furious silence. "I am sorry. My actions were… terrible. Even if I never did any of it… I would have. I ask no forgiveness. I would not dare to ask. But.. it still needs to be said." He looked at each of them in turn, until he was once again looking at the girl with the pale eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his vision wavering as tears long unshed began to gather in his eyes.

The group's glares broke as they glanced at each other, evaluating. Gaara could see the calculation in their eyes, the uncertainty, the mistrust. He closed his eyes to their judgement… then opened them when one stepped forward, the boy with the furry coat and small dog on his head. The boy walked up and glared down at Gaara, who forced himself not to look away.

The small dog on the boy's head sniffed a few times, then yapped once. The boy grunted in reply, and his arm lashed out at waist height and stopped half way between them, his fist clenched tight. Gaara stared at him, confused, causing the boy to smirk.

"It's called a fist bump," he said, nodding once. "You make a fist and lightly hit mine with it. It is a way some cool people acknowledge others. Friends, competitors, rivals. Whatever they are. Important thing is that they know it." His other arm came up to point a thumb at his canine passenger. "Akamaru says you smell different now, and you certainly sound different, with the sudden lack of being a murderous asshole. I'll trust my instincts on this and cut you some slack."

Gaara stared at the boy for a moment, then hesitantly raised an arm and tapped the boy's fist with his own. This seemed to satisfy the boy, who grunted and gave him a nod before turning back to the food stand.

The group was no longer glaring at him. They didn't seem happy with his presence, but… they didn't seem to be focused on hating him. The pink hair girl even managed to smile, as small and confused as that smile was. Gaara tried to smile back, but faltered when he realized the only sort of smile he knew was not the kind you share with people, but with victims. Naruto seemed to notice his uncertainty and gave him another pat on the back, gently nudging him towards the food stand. "The best way to get to know people is over a hot meal."

"We just ate here no more than an hour ago, Naruto."

Naruto smiled and glanced at his friends. "Sometimes it's more about the company than the food."

Gaara found himself being irresistibly drawn into the food stand, surrounded by people he didn't know, to eat food he didn't really care to eat… but he didn't resist all that hard.

* * *

They were waiting for him as the sun started to set. Naruto approached at a healthy jog, still pulling on the strap to his backpack over his shoulders, trying to fit it around the green cloak he was wearing over his normal jumpsuit. He suspected that his temporary boss would appreciate knowing that Naruto was not a complete idiot when it came to stealth. Then he saw that aforementioned boss ahead, and his enthusiasm cooled significantly.

Rasa was talking with Orochimaru and the Hokage. Kankuro, Temari, and their sensei were all standing to one side, waiting quietly. Temari and the teacher… _Baki, I think he was called_… both looked at him with mild disinterest, but Kankuro smiled and gave Naruto a nod before returning to his own indifferent look. Naruto was rather surprised that they were so quiet, just before they were to return home, but he was beginning to suspect that Ras… _Kazekage-sama, I need to get into that habit_… Kazekage-sama was not the type to enjoy levity. Naruto walked up to them and joined the line they had formed, standing on one end next to Kankuro and adopting his most bored, disinterested, Iruka-is-explaining-politics-again look. He was amused to hear Temari snort, but Baki's lip curled up slightly as well, so Naruto figured he did the right thing.

Orochimaru was the first of the higher ranks to notice Naruto's arrival, and the look of unmitigated glee he suddenly adopted was more than a little aggravating, as if the snake was waiting for his favorite pet to do a trick. The other leaders had not looked at him yet, so he rubbed some imaginary dust out of one eye with his middle finger. Temari snorted again, and he was sure he saw Kankuro smile for just a moment before he returned to normal, just in time for the Kazekage to turn and look in their direction.

If Orochimaru looked like he was watching a pet doing a trick, Rasa looked like he was watching a pet take a piddle on the carpet. "Genin Uzumaki," he said, his voice a dull growl. Naruto gave the man a proper salute, and Rasa grunted in approval. "Your only task for now is to keep up with us. Falling behind means failure. Lose sight of us, and you'll be expected to carry on to Sunagakure on your own. Understood?"

Naruto nodded and resisted the urge to snort in amusement at what surely had to be some sort of test. _If the Kazekage wanted me dead, he would keep me close and then kill me when we got out of view, then put on an act of contrition when he got home, boo hoo, so sorry, throw myself on your mercy, and so on. So he's going to try and lose me instead. Well, bring it, old man! You have no idea who you're dealing with!_

The Kazekage turned and started to move away from the others, and the other three Suna shinobi went with him, giving Naruto a professionally distant nod with the exception of Kankuro who smirked and gave a quick thumbs-up before taking off with the rest. Naruto smiled a bit at the discreet encouragement and started to follow.

Orochimaru called out as Naruto left his home, his voice full of cheer. "Naruto-kun, be safe now. I want to see what happens next time we meet."

Naruto refused to even acknowledge the snake.

* * *

They had barely left the shadow of Konohagakure's gates when Temari set her fan on the ground and stood in Naruto's path, arms crossed.

"What?" he politely asked.

Temari snorted. "Carry my fan."

"Bullshit."

Temari's cold smile fell into her more customary scowl. "I am a blood relation to the Kazekage. I may be a genin, but I may as well be a princess by my homeland's standards. You will do as I say, Uzumaki, if you don't want us to consider the contract void."

Naruto opened his mouth to object, then stopped when Rasa came back to them. "Uzumaki," he said, his tone as dull as lead and just as heavy, "a genin is not required to follow the orders of another genin, regardless of their family relations." Naruto smirked at Temari, then froze when Rasa continued. "Too bad you are not a genin. Not in my country, where you now serve. To us, you are no more than a civilian with some impressive skills. And my land has been ruled by an iron fist since my predecessor. In my land, shinobi outrank any non-shinobi, and may order all but the Daimyo himself. So pick up the fan, Uzumaki."

Naruto gave a perfunctory bow and made a hand seal.

"You don't need a clone for this, Uzumaki," said the Kazekage, looking down at Naruto.

Naruto sighed and bent to pick up the fan himself, and in doing so missed the glance the Kazekage shared with his daughter. With a grunt, he lifted the painfully-heavy thing and situated it across his shoulders. It was heavy, very much so, easily as heavy as the ludicrous training sword he'd used with Guy, but it was not beyond him. He shuffled it for a moment, getting it settled along with his own swords, and saluted to the waiting Kazekage, who snorted and took to the trees.

* * *

By the end of the day, Naruto was tired.

Those who knew Naruto would understand that this was a rarity. He might flag, he might lose a little steam, he might even slow down for a moment or two. But rarely would they ever see the boy in a such a state, where the first thing he did when the Kazekage called for camp was plop down bonelessly on the branch he had just landed and hang his head.

It had been eight hours, and there had been no stops. Even to urinate, he had to stop, then hurry to catch up. Food was nothing more than a survival ration eaten on the move, and Naruto felt a little amusement when he realize he'd eaten the packaging without noticing.

Temari walked up and snatched the fan from Naruto's back. "Good job, Uzumaki," she said, sneering at him. "Now, I like to travel in style. I am a princess, after all." She tapped her odd, puffy hair to ensure it was in place. "I'll have you pitch my tent, Uzumaki."

Naruto looked up at her, incredulous, but when he saw her unpleasant smile, he stood without comment and set to work. Her tent was normal equipment, a simple and cheap survival tent like any other. It took mere minutes for him to set it up, and he was happy to notice that he was no slower at it than Kankuro or the Kazekage at it, in spite of his tired state. In short order, they had a circle of four tents around a small fire.

He sat in front of the fire, grateful to finally stop.

"We still need food, Uzumaki," Temari said, her voice far too cheerful. "You know this area better than we do. Go find something."

Naruto didn't even bother to sigh as he got up and set off into the forest. Survival hunting was something he was usually good at, but tired as he was, he missed his mark twice, allowing his targets to escape. He managed to catch a rabbit after a half hour, gutted it, cleaned it, and brought it back to a now dark and quiet camp. Temari was sitting on a nearby rock, and hopped down when she saw Naruto returning.

"We got tired of waiting and ate already. You have first watch. Wake me for the second in two hours. No fires." She gave him another smirk and sauntered off to her tent while Naruto glared silently at her.

He sat on the same rock, made a hand sign, and summoned four clones, who saluted and made their own hand signs before fading from view to take up overwatch. He then yawned and made his way to the remains of the camp fire. He pulled out a kunai and bent over the shallow pit, then stopped. He had been planning on burying the rabbit under the coals, which would eventually cook it for him, but someone had carefully removed all of the coals and even the ash.

He looked at the rabbit wistfully before creating another clone to carry it away from camp and dispose of it. He then settled onto the rock and kept watch. It was an act of will to keep his eyes open, but one thought kept him focused, playing again and again in his mind. _I'll be damned if I'll let her win!_

The two hours passed slowly, painfully so, and Naruto gave it an extra few minutes to ensure he didn't wake her early. When he was certain of the time, he walked over to her tent and quietly stomped his feet a few times, letting the vibration wake her.

She opened her eyes and smiled at Naruto.

He smiled back, uncertain.

"Take my turn at watch, Uzumaki," she whispered, rolling away from him and burrowing under her covers. "Wake Kankuro in two hours."

Naruto vowed, then and there, to get revenge, the thought of which helped him remain awake for the next two hours.

* * *

"Surprised to see you awake," Kankuro said quietly when he climbed out of his tent.

"Surprised you don't tell me to take your turn at watch," Naruto said, doing his best to keep his voice neutral. Judging from the look on Kankuro's face, his effort was wasted, because the other boy was grinning like crazy.

The Suna genin sat on a rock next to Naruto's perch and laughed lightly before he settled into silence, unwrapping his puppet without a sound and sending it up into the trees as a surprise for would-be ambushers. He then leaned back comfortably and started watching his surroundings.

After a minute, Naruto sighed, and without taking his eyes from the stars above he asked, "Is this sort of thing normal, in Suna?"

"What, the hazing?"

Naruto nodded.

Kankuro gave a quiet chuckle. "Kinda," he said with a shrug. "New genin are usually given some sort of test to make sure they are fit for service. I can't say it's usually this personal, but yeah. When a fight is on, and people might die, it's good to know how hard you can push someone…." He looked carefully at the sleeping group, then leaned in towards Naruto. "It's also good to know how good they are at their job. It's as much a test of cunning as it is a test of strength. Remember the written part of the exam?"

Naruto looked fully at Kankuro, and a smile slowly appeared on his face, before it fell. "Why are you telling me this? Won't I fail if you tell me?"

Kankuro shrugged. "Did you get an order forbidding you from getting information from me?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Did you get an order explicitly telling you not to use any jutsu?"

Naruto shook his head again. "No, but it was implied…" His voice trailed off, then he rolled his eyes. "Second exam rules. Right." _Do what you want, just don't get caught._ After a moment of thought, he got up and stretched his aching joints. "I'm off to rest, then." He headed for his simple bedroll, then turned back. "Hey… Thanks."

Kankuro smiled and waved the thanks away, and Naruto curled up into his bedroll and thought.

* * *

Temari had to repress a smirk as Naruto stumbled under the weight of the fan he was carrying the first time they jumped onto a tree branch. She was fairly certain she knew what her father was up to with his orders, and even if she was wrong, it was amusing to watch a little kid try to carry an adult-sized training weight.

She watched out of the corner of her eye as the kid stopped to readjust the weight on his back, then her jump carried her out of view. _Poor bugger won't ever catch up carrying that thing,_ she thought with a smile. _I should know_. Baki had ordered the creation of that particular training tool, and Temari had grown achingly familiar with its weight since she had been disqualified from the exams. It felt odd, no longer having to carry the thing, but also delightful. She could feel the speed difference in her movements, and her appreciation for the tool was that much greater.

There was a swishing sound, and she swore loudly when the little orange miscreant suddenly rocketed past her with a quiet snicker. Distracted, her foot slipped as she landed, sending her sliding off of the branch and plummeting towards the ground. She reached out, desperately grabbing at passing branches, but only managed to turn her controlled descent into a wild tumble. She stabilized herself enough to look down at the quickly approaching ground. _Well, shit._

She raised her arms to protect her head and neck, clenching her eyes and jaw, then struck with a surprisingly gentle impact. She thought nothing of it until Kankuro started laughing, and opened her eyes to find herself being held off the ground by the kid, who was posing dramatically. "Don't worry, Princess, I got you," the boy said with a smirk.

It was no help that he had apparently caught her and was now carrying her bridal-style.

It was _really_ no help that Kankuro was cracking up, and even Baki was trying not to smile.

Temari gave Naruto a shove and tumbled gracelessly to the ground, then stood up quickly and glared. Naruto shrugged easily in return, and loudly said, "I guess not carrying all this weight has thrown your balance off, Princess. I am certain you are not usually this clumsy."

Temari grunted and lashed out with her hand, snatching for her training fan, but Naruto ducked under her arm and jumped away with another laugh, taking off after the Kazekage, who had not stopped his progress and was well out of view already. "Keep up if you can, Princess," he called out as he vanished into the trees.

* * *

The second day ended as they reached the edge of Konohagakure's great forest. From atop one of the final trees, Naruto could see where the scrubland petered out into the full desert sand.

Naruto let loose a sigh of relief, because this marked a halfway point between Suna and Konoha, and his second day was tiring, although also a great deal less miserable for it. After he'd caught Temari in the most dramatic and obnoxious manner he could devise on the spot, the rest of the day had been spent both traveling and keeping away from the girl. The look on her face had been priceless, especially as the day wore on and she became less angry and more amused. He had dodged every thrown pinecone, avoided surprise traps when she pulled ahead, and managed to land on his feet with every sudden gust of wind she sent his way.

He looked down from the tree to see the other three setting up their tents. There was no demands for him to serve them, but he'd willingly gone out to find a fresh rabbit, and it was already cooking over the fire.

Naruto stepped around the trunk of the tree, putting himself out of view, then held out the fan he'd been carrying. The moment he felt the thing lighten, he let go, and it vanished. A moment later, with a light clunk, the real fan dropped into view. He slung the much heavier hunk of metal across his back and started making his way down the tree, only to find the Kazekage waiting for him.

"So," the older man said without preamble, "how did you do it?"

Naruto smiled. "I carried it. After the first day, I got used to the weight and the pace, and it was much easier."

Rasa nodded, then reached out and poked at the fan. "You know, lying to your Kage is a crime in my village. It may not be in yours, who knows. But if you will serve under me, you'd best reconsider your answer." His voice and face betrayed no emotion, both flat and slightly disinterested, as if he were discussing the weather.

Still, Naruto got the feeling the man was not angry, only curious. _He's a serious and intelligent person. How would Kakashi handle this? Straightforward, just the facts, and sound as much like a good little soldier as possible._

He drew himself up slightly, standing at attention, and dropped his smile. "Sir, the first time I fell behind with the excuse of adjusting the weight, but the moment the group was out of view, I summoned five shadow clones. Four turned invisible and took the real fan, so they could take shifts carrying it and thus move at full speed. The fifth henged into a copy of the fan for me to carry."

Rasa frowned. "You let my daughter's weapon out of your sight?"

"No, sir. I left the training tool out of sight. I doubt she would willingly give her primary weapon to me, even if she did trust me, which is not a given. Further, it greatly resembles a training tool I myself used before, so I knew it for what it was. The fact that carrying my own weight instead of the weight of the fan was less tiring was quite telling."

Rasa nodded. "And now.. How many of these clones are currently here with us?"

"None, sir. I know better than to surround a Kage with invisible shadow clones, and they are under standing orders to avoid you except for emergencies. I currently have eight around the camp as additional sentries, although I will have to replace them soon, assuming you choose not to order them away."

Rasa smiled, and while the smile was cold, it was also genuine as far as Naruto could tell. "You seem a great deal more formal than most Konoha shinobi I have dealt with, Uzumaki. And yet I get the feeling that is hardly normal for you, is it?"

Naruto fought the urge to smile back. "I understand your village is different than my own, and apparently more formal about their duties. I may not be a true Sunagakure shinobi, but I can at least try to fit in."

Rasa nodded and turned back to the camp. "You did well, Uzumaki. My daughter was tasked with trying to provoke you, and you acted acceptably despite her efforts. A little loud on the second day, but we're as safe as traveling shinobi can get, so that is forgivable. I know you slept very little since we left. I will take the first watch, and will order the others to leave you alone for the night. Get some rest, genin."

Even though Rasa could not see him, Naruto bowed all the same. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama."

* * *

As was the nature of tired people everywhere, Naruto had trouble falling asleep at first.

He was still awake when the Kazekage took sentry position and the others fell asleep.

He was still awake when the Kazekage woke his daughter for her shift. She got up without complaint, grabbed her fan, which Naruto was gratified to see was being stored in a scroll in her pocket, and started pacing the camp.

After a few minutes, she walked up, crouched down next to him, and quietly said, "Sorry about the whole 'piss off the Konohagakure genin' thing. Nothing personal."

Naruto grinned. "Not worried about it… Princess."

He wasn't certain, but her snort sounded a bit like laughter, which was good enough for him to relax and drift off into sleep.

* * *

Naruto learned three important things about the desert over the next few days.

First, the desert is hot. If he tried to tell one of his friends this fact, he knew they would roll their eyes at him, but the word "hot" did not do justice to the sensation of walking through the desert during the day, the searing heat so overwhelming it felt like a solid weight on his back and made every breath ache. No amount of water could fight that heat, nor shade. Even the Kazekage stopped moving when noon approached, and the entire group took shelter in whatever shade could be found.

Second, the desert is cold. He suspected Sakura would probably roll her eyes at this as well, but it might surprise a few others. When the sun fell, the temperature plummeted, until Naruto could see his breath during the depths of the night. The Kazekage refused to light a fire, explaining that in the open desert even a small flame would be a beacon that could be seen for miles. Naruto found himself shivering each night, which did little to help him rest.

Finally, and most importantly in his mind, the desert is made of sand, and it got _everywhere_. This would certainly surprise his friends, who he suspected would think the same thing he had, that walking atop the sand as if it were water would be enough. Naruto quickly discovered that sand was incredibly good at blowing into the folds of his clothing, the lining of his sandals, and every nook and cranny he had. The end result was a thin layer of grit that ground into Naruto's skin with every move until his flesh was raw and weeping.

The worst part of the experience was the relative indifference of his traveling companions to these vital facts. The heat did not faze them. The cold did not faze them. And where he was reduced to limping gingerly by the end of each day, they strode untouched by the scouring sand.

"You get used to dealing with it," Kankuro said during the second night in the desert as Naruto gingerly lowered himself to the ground. "The heat sucks, but as long as you keep going, it'll cool down eventually. The cold sucks, but it'll warm up some time soon. Sand…" He laughed and gave Naruto a grin. "Sand always sucks. Nothing to do about that but endure and wait it out. We have a few things to help you adjust when we get to the city, ointments and the like that will keep you going until your body gets used to it, but for now, think happy thoughts about getting cleaned up tomorrow."

Temari snorted in passing, carrying her unsealed tentpoles in her arms. "Kankuro spends more time primping than I do. Rest assured, if he can adapt to this, you can too, smartass."

Naruto almost snapped at her, but he noticed her smile was a great deal less angry than before, and decided to take it as a joke. He lay on his back with another grunt and stared at the clear, star filled sky for a moment. "Hey," he said quietly after a moment, "tell me something."

Kankuro nodded as he dug into his pack for some field rations.

"Do you guys talk to Gaara like this?"

Kankuro froze, then turned woodenly to look at his sister, who was frowning while still holding up the tent pole she had been slotting into place. After a long and silent second she sighed and slammed the pole into place with a loud clack. "No," she said, her voice cold. "The reply we get from Gaara when we try to talk to him is usually along the lines of how he'll kill us if we don't shut up. He's not big on chatting, you may have noticed."

Naruto nodded to himself. "Give it a try, when you see him next."

Temari was silent for a few more second before grunting and grabbing another pole, "Of course. We always try."

* * *

The entrance to Sunagakure was a literal cleft in a wall of earth more than fifty feet thick, with several tiers of ledges for guards to stand watch and repel any theoretical attackers. Naruto had never seen such a forbidding fortress, and was more than willing to admit to himself that he'd reconsider any invasion attempt he might imagine after seeing the wall.

He stopped short of the entrance to glare at the man waiting just inside the cleft, waving at him with a cheerful look on what little of his face was visible. "What are _you_ doing here?" he asked, his voice a mixture of surprise and aggravation.

Momochi Zabuza shrugged his massive shoulders, even under the weight of his blade, and looked at Naruto with a mixture of feral delight and fury. "I've been hired by the village of Konohagakure to train one of its wayward genin while they live in this cruel land." He raised a finger theatrically, tapping the side of his head in an expression of thought, drawing attention to the Sunagakure forehead protector he now wore. "What is it that asshole sensei of yours would say… Oh, yes. Hello, my cute little genin!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Wow. Finally back! New job consumes a large portion of my time (the 12 hour days add up), and until this week, left me so tired that I had no energy to write when I did get time off. But one gets used to almost anything, and I now have the mental capacity to think about my plot and the energy to write it during time off. Glad for it too, when I tried to write this chapter before this inadvertent break, it came out terrible. Much better now, thankfully, and better long term planning. Sorry about the wait and all.

_**EDIT (10/4/16)**_: I am not dead, nor is this fic. A combination of busy times and writer's block has kept me away some time. I just finished editing a little of the last few chapters, and am currently working on the next one.

I originally intended to go a little further with this chapter, but after months of quiet, I figured it would be best to post something rather than wait to get another section done.

My current plan is to jump back and forth between different groups of characters for different arcs. Outside of Omake, I have plans for three or four arcs before we hit a big plot point.

Kankuro in canon seems very convivial, when we see him not trying to kill people, so I am assuming that is his default personality. Who would be better to play good cop to Temari's very-well-practiced bad cop? As for Rasa, I got the impression in canon that he's not a bad person, just severely stressed and probably more than a little depressed over how things turned out with Gaara and his village in general. Can't promise he's 100% canon in personality, but I am endeavoring to be close enough to recognize.

As for Hiruzen, his choices during the last few chapters will be examined in-universe eventually, with plot relevance when it comes up. I am aware he made some bad (or at least not optimal) choices. If it helps, he knows it too.

Thanks to **Pom Rania** for the beta work. I am proud to note that this chapter had the least number of fixes I've ever seen them make.

**Lumine Nyx** asked if any of the K11 have or will use genjutsu, outside of the sharingan thing. So far, the only thing I will say was outright genjutsu was during Hinata's fight with Neji. It will come up, especially the sharingan thing.

**SeeMeInTheShadows** commented that the plot so far does not match the description completely, as Kakashi is not technically directly responsible for some of the changes in their story. This is correct, as the story has changed greatly since I first considered it. It started as "Kakashi changes things," and turned into "Why did Kakashi change?" The reason I have not rewritten the synopsis yet is, frankly, I have yet to find a way to do that without it looking like every bad "mysterious changes happened" synopsis on the site. So for now, I'll have to settle.

An anon going by **IrlHarunoSakura** commented on wanting to see some more males express crushes, as they feel it's mostly one-sided that females seem to all have them. Not sure where they see that, but fear not, when they get a little older it'll probably happen in a painful, amusing, "oh god that's awkward" teenager way.

I apparently lost **silvereagle2121** as a reader over last chapter. I weep for my loss.

**Zincat** found the way that everyone reacted to Naruto's use of the kyuubi's chakra to be a little over the top. In rereading, I found the comment somewhat valid, but I counter with this: Imagine when you were a child, a man with a ski mask showed up and killed your family with a gun. Ten years later, you're at a bank when someone tries to rob it. One of your fellow bank visitors pulls on a ski mask and pulls out a gun. He then stands in front of you and aims at the robbers. Yes, you'll get that they are defending you, but that primal fear button has already been pressed, and that button makes for dumb humans. I actually found canon somewhat silly on this one, because in canon, nobody reacts when the kid with the fox demon starts growing a chakra tail and growling. I like to think that I properly portrayed Kakashi realizing what a twat he had been after the fact, but I may revisit the chapter later to ensure it (EDIT: Done). Thanks for the genuinely constructive criticism.

**depressedchildren **is deeply confused about Orochimaru and his intentions. Good.

**Death276** worries that Suna will not really be… interesting. I assure you, some of it will be dry, no pun intended, but I hope that how I portray the village will be interesting in itself for how it will contrast with Konoha. And if worse comes to worse and it gets dull, this is a perfect setting to suddenly make ninjas appear to liven things up.

**Angel Hatake** wonders if Naruto will become an enemy of the Leaf. I'mma gonna say no on that. I appreciate the occasional "Naruto hates Konoha" story, but they generally feel grossly out of character to me. Most of the good ones address this early in the fic, but at this point, I doubt it would make sense for this story.

**Gremlin Jack** will be annoyed if Orochimaru actually predicted the Jinchuuriki swap. I am willing to be honest about this one too, just to ease concerns: No, he did not predict it.

**Quinn1989** wonders why the Shodaime did not free himself from Orochimaru's control. Two reasons. First, to be honest, I didn't recall him doing that in canon (he might have, I do not know). But second, and more important to me in this case, there is an in-universe reason as well.

**FaolenBookWolf**, don't read the omake for this chapter.

**Short Omake Theater Presents**

"**Trollrochimaru Love, Chapter III: Troll Harder"**

Itachi flinched when someone knocked on his door.

"Itachi! It's me! Lemme in, dammit! Sasori is gone!"

The Uchiha sighed and got up from his bed to stumble over to the door and pull it open, revealing Kisame on the other side. The man's skin was a pale shade of blue fading into gray. His chakra-eating blade was missing. And most importantly…

"Kisame," Itachi asked in his detached monotone, "where are your pants?"

The blue man stormed into the room with a snarl and stomped over to Itachi's bureau to dig around. "I don't want to talk about it," he said coldly. "Just be glad the author was willing to only throw one of us under the bus.

Itachi sighed and walked over to his bed and gingerly laid down on his stomach.

"What's your problem," asked his teammate as he tried to find pants his size.

"You had to deal with Sasori for the last hour, right?"

Kisame nodded.

"I got Deidara."

They both sighed irritably, and in that brief moment, they shared the same thought, one that would echo throughout the ages, one that did little to heal their bruised bodies but did much to raise their spirit.

_Fuck, this author's an asshole._


	43. A Price Paid Today from Yesterday's Bill

**A/N: **A short trigger warning. The below chapter has someone being tortured. Not in a gore-heavy, "ha ha gotcher eyeball" way, but genuinely tortured. Be so forewarned.

Also, this is pre-beta, so I am sure errors abound.

* * *

"The three of you are not being promoted to Chunin."

Sakura, Sasuke, and Shikamaru shared a look, but it was Sakura who decided to ask the question. She took a step forward and bowed politely. "We understand, Hokage-sama. But why have you gathered us here to tell us?"

Hiruzen smiled at the question. "Because, I wanted you to understand why." He lit his pipe with a miniscule fire jutsu and took a deep drag of it before continuing. "Each of you was under serious consideration, before the finals broke down in the attack. Without a vote from the visiting leaders, nobody will receive a promotion this year. I want to acknowledge your efforts and skills, even of circumstances prevent me from promoting you."

"Haruno Sakura," he said, smiling slightly as her face grew slightly pink under his attention. "Your grasp of rules and how to break them, literally in the case of your preliminary match and metaphorically in your finals match, are astounding. In the first fight, you redefined the rules to a system that predates our village. In the second, you bent the battlefield to your will, and then bent the mind of your opponent to force them onto your battlefield. You should be proud."

"Uchiha Sasuke," he said, causing the boy to straighten and adopt one of his many serious faces, this one a look of blank disinterest that fooled nobody. "While you may not be as innovative as your teammate, your tactics in the last round against Gaara were sound, and accounted for the strengths and weaknesses of your allies. That fact that you did not win against a literal monster of legend is nothing to be ashamed of, never mind disqualify you. Further, you showed a degree of concern for your allies that is exactly what is needed in a leader. You did not push to keep your short ranged allies out of reach, but worked to minimize their risk in spite of the short range. You should be proud."

He looked to Shikamaru, who raised his hands and backed up slightly. "I lost, Hokage-sama," he said, waving his hands. "I lost to Naruto, too. I'll admit he's changed a lot, but he's hardly a genius."

Hiruzen nodded. "This is true, Nara Shikamaru, but what you showed was more important than winning or losing. You accepted Naruto's challenge as an alternative to a straight battle, which would pit you against possibly the worst opponent you could face. In a contest that required you to solve a problem in which you did not even know what that problem was, you proceeded carefully and logically. Each time new information came to light, you adjusted immediately and appropriately. In the end, you lost not because of some terrible failing, but to the success of your foe. You should-"

"- Be proud," he finished for the Hokage, before he sighed and lowered his head. "Don't tell my mother that. She'll never let it rest."

Hiruzen let out a chuckle. Yoshino Nara was belligerent by any standards, never mind the standards of the Nara clan, which tended towards quiet contemplation that was heavy on the quiet. He had long gotten used to Asuma's tales of threatening the Nara boy with no worse punishment than "I'll tell your mother," and getting results.

_We could have used them as Chunin._

The Hokage stood and turned to face the window, taking a few puffs of his pipe. "There is a system in place to promote promising genin outside of the confines of the exam, and it's not all that uncommon for genin like yourselves to advance. Do you know why you are not being promoted?" he asked.

When nobody spoke, he turned, his face was hard and cold. "Shinobi of chunin rank and above are noted as such in their records… and also, inevitably, in the Bingo Books of the other nations, with as much detail within them so that if they come across you in battle, they may be able to get some vital information and survive. And within that information will be a mark which indicates that you advanced outside of the exam system. It marks you as _special_ and _dangerous_. Such chunin tend to be killed as a priority whenever possible. Such a mark may as well be a death mark."

His shook his head slightly, and his cold glare became a more fatherly smile. "You are far too valuable for that. Now, in a time without war, with no pressing need, I have no intention of marking the leaders of tomorrow for death today. Officially, you will remain genin until you pass the exam. Unofficially, expect to get more C-rank missions in the future, if not better. You are capable of such missions."

Hiruzen gave them each a shallow bow and smiled when they each returned his bow with a deeper one, even the lazy Nara. "Thank you for your service, genin. You are dismissed, Sakura, Sasuke, could you ask your sensei to report to me? I have something I need to discuss with him."

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke found Kakashi eventually, although it took them almost an hour. In the end, Sakura had summoned the Horde and sent them throughout the town, on the prowl for the gray haired shinobi (and any catnip and food they could beg or steal from its owners, as Sakura found out later).

They found him standing in front of the Memorial Stone, and he was not alone. He was leaning over, speaking quietly to Gaara and pointing out something carved on the monument to the honored dead while the ANBU Weasel observed. Sasuke and Sakura waited patiently, just within eyesight, and after a few more minutes, Kakashi gave Gaara a pat on the shoulder and walked over to meet them.

"What's with him," asked Sasuke as his teacher approached.

Kakashi shrugged and leaned in, speaking quietly. "Just pointing out a few things. Showing how our fallen allies prove their existence, well beyond the point at which they passed. Weasel had suggested the boy could use a little perspective from those who survived the deaths of those they cared for."

They all paused to look back at Gaara, who seemed to be staring at the stone with a confused expression on his face.

Sakura was first to look away. "Sensei, the Hokage wants to see you, said he had something to discuss with you."

Kakashi's one visible eyebrow rose, and his voice took on a singsong tone. "Ohh, and how did my little students do on the exam? Am I finally off the hook with your kids?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and smirked. "Says we would be chunin, but you set such a bad example for us that we need to reform you. On the plus side, we're probably mostly done with D-rank missions at least."

Kakashi chuckled and waved at them as he walked away. "Maybe we can take a few for the fun of it."

* * *

Kakashi stepped into the Hokage's office and stopped.

The office of the Hokage had large windows that took in the view of the village below it. It was an inspiring vista to look upon, and Kakashi knew the Hokage loved the sight. But the shades were pulled now, the room dark and foreboding. Kakashi looked around carefully, and could not sense anyone within the room but the Hokage, not even his usual ANBU guards. The Hokage himself was sitting with his back to the door, facing the shuttered windows, and the room was thick with the smell of his pipe. After a moment, the Hokage turned slightly, then grunted and waved at Kakashi to close the door.

"What's wrong, Hokage-sama," Kakashi asked, the moment the door was closed.

"This meeting is to be without decorum, Kakashi."

Kakashi blinked at that. It was expected of shinobi to follow certain codes of conduct and respect to their leader. A meeting without decorum was a meeting between two people acting as though they were equals instead of a leader and a subordinate. Kakashi knew of the rule because he usually used it when he was in command of a group, but he could not remember any Kage apply it to themselves. He walked in, and after a short pause, took a seat without being granted permission and waited.

Hiruzen turned his chair and gave Kakashi a smile. "I have called upon you, Kakashi, because I need to gauge someone's reaction to a few ideas I've had recently. Normally, I would ask Jiraiya, but he is busy digging into Otogakure, and this may be nothing worth recalling him over. I do need to ask that you keep what we talk about here to yourself, however."

Kakashi nodded.

"What if I asked you," said Hiruzen, "who should replace me as Hokage? Who would you think to give the duty to?"

"Jiraiya," Kakashi said without even a moment of thought.

Hiruzen nodded. "And if he said no?"

This required a moment, but a short one. "Tsunade."

Hiruzen nodded again. "And then?"

Kakashi had to really consider his options then. A short mental rundown of the current elite of Konohagakure tossed up a few prospects, namely Guy, Asuma, and himself. Out of the three options, one would assume Sarutobi Asuma would be the natural choice, but the man never seemed to work well with his father, and would not likely accept the hat out of stubborn resistance if nothing else. Maito Guy would be an excellent leader, but his reputation as a meathead, deserved or not, would work against him. And Kakashi himself spent a great deal of effort looking like a lazy pervert, which would make him less than ideal.

Yuhi Kurenai was inexperienced with leadership and not well known. Mitarashi Anko had a bad reputation. Morino Ibiki was a little too cold for the way Konohagakure ran things, or at least his public face was. And Nara Shikaku would reject the proposal out of hand.

After a moment, he shrugged. "I know it would be Guy, Asuma, or myself, but none of those options are for the best. What is this about, Hok… Hiruzen?"

Hiruzen leaned forward and stared into Kakashi's one visible eye. "And what if I suggested Shimura Danzo?"

That made Kakashi's mind freeze up for a moment. Danzo had the warmth of a dead animal and the personality of a rabid one. Whereas Hiruzen had always pursued peace through negotiations, Danzo preferred to earn peace with the blade of a kunai. He believed that an enemy who feared you was an enemy that would never stand against you, and his opinions on various political events throughout the years clearly reflected that. He was quite outspoken, in his own quiet and insufferably polite way, against everything that Hiruzen and the other Hokages before him had built Konohagakure on.

Kakashi looked around the room again, then leaned forward as well. "I really dislike saying this, but you said no decorum… I would suspect you were senile, an imposter, or mad."

Hiruzen slumped back against his chair and sighed. "I would agree with you… until the chunin exam. Since then, I am slowly considering that option. Does that strike you as unusual, Kakashi?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Myself as well. I've opposed him almost my entire life, and until the exam, I would have sooner passed the title to Konohamaru before Danzo. And yet I almost did so today." He looked at Kakashi and flashed a feral grin. "But whatever it is that caused this confusion, it broke once you mentioned how out of place it would be. Someone has manipulated me, Kakashi. I accepted Orochimaru's help without question in the fight against Gaara and his beast, without even considering other options. I almost pushed the Kazekage into _giving Garra to him_, and were it not for Naruto's odd plan, that might very well have happened. And now, I have found myself considering turning over the job of Hokage to the man least suited for it."

Hiruzen straightened in his chair, and in his eyes Kakashi could see the fire that drove the man. "With your students now proven capable in my eyes, I intend to take you from them. I need someone with good sense to watch my actions, in case it happens again." He smiled coldly and started to repack his pipe. "I also want to use you as bait. I intend to start grooming you to be the Hokage, both as a backup plan in case I pass suddenly, and as a lure for whoever has done this."

"We're not assuming it was Danzo, then?"

Hiruzen shook his head. "Danzo would know better. I am certain he has been building influence behind the scenes to ensure he gets the hat after me, but he also knows that my sudden death by violence during a peaceful time would make any plan volatile to the point of foolishness. Even if he gained the position, it would be tainted by the mystery of my death. If an assassin appeared at a council meeting tomorrow, I'd be willing to bet he'd kill them himself to keep his plans running smoothly."

Kakashi sat back in the darkness, letting his mind absorb everything he had been told. Hiruzen waited with him, lighting his pipe and smoking it furiously. "You know," Kakashi said after a full minute had passed, "I'm fairly certain I'm not ready to be a Kage, even as a backup option. In truth, I could have done without this."

Hiruzen laughed. "If you think this is bad, let me tell you how I got 'elected' to my station…"

* * *

Danzo sat at his desk, his _private_ desk, and fumed quietly.

Hiruzen had announced his intentions to groom Hatake Kakashi as the Fifth Hokage.

Political allies by the score, now freed from the uncertainty of having no other option, were leaving his cause in droves and lining up to be acknowledged by the new rising star of Konohagakure. A man so dedicated to the foolish ideal of peace that he nearly died to Momochi Zabuza's blade out of the same foolish ideal of peace that Hiruzen suffered. And all because Danzo had given in to his impatience.

That.. and some bad advice.

He looked up at one of his tools. "Tell Sai to get a message to the Man in the Grass. Tell him that I no longer have need of him, or his failed plots."

* * *

Sasuke stepped out of the Aburame clan holdings with conflicting feelings.

On the one hand, his own training was going well. Between Shino and Shibi, he was making great progress on his hive and techniques, made that much easier by his hive's growth, which he had been pushing for the last few weeks. He would spend the mornings with the two Aburame, then join Sakura for a meal and to check in for missions.

But they weren't _team_ missions. Sasuke would never admit it out loud, and neither would Sakura, but they both missed Naruto immensely. It had been less than a month since he and Gaara swapped villages, and the lack of loud orange ramen freaks left things a little lackluster.

The lack of Kakashi was also noticeable. They got partnered with whoever the Hokage chose when they got missions above D-rank, but Sasuke found himself missing the comforting certainty of Kakashi. He knew how Kakashi thought, and while he had yet to see an incompetent jonin team leader, or even genin teammate, it wasn't the same, and Sasuke found himself thinking of team seven as "the good old days." Seeing his teacher smirking at the two of them every day when he handed them their mission did nothing to help.

He quickly arrived at their designated meeting place. Ichiraku's Ramen was still going strong, in spite of losing its best customer. Teuchi had discovered that business remained steady, mostly because those who knew Naruto had become customers almost out of habit. It helped that he had a few special menus printed with basic, non-ramen meals available to long term customers, with the requirement that they never mention the menus to anyone else.

Sakura was waiting at Ichiraku's, but she was already carrying two small boxes. "Just got a message," she said as Sasuke approached. "We've got a mission to pick up."

They both started walking, ready to get to work, but something made him look around. There was something slightly off, something he could not consciously identify but that screamed of danger. He looked back, checking their trail, but saw nothing.

"Sasuke?"

He turned, already deciding to clue her in, and froze when he came face to face with someone who was not his teammate.

Face to face with _him_.

His brother.

Itachi.

He didn't need to think, to plan. He didn't waste time asking questions or pleading for answers. He didn't even draw one of his various tools and tricks. One quick kunai, drawn and thrown, as fast as the blink of an eye.

Sasuke smiled.

Itachi smiled back.

The blade sunk into Itachi's stomach, folding the man over awkwardly. He stumbled back and fell, his face still smiling in spite of the blood flowing freely from his gut, and landed in a heap on the ground.

Sasuke charged forward, a second blade in hand, and plunged it deep into the man's chest before he could try to escape, and still he smiled, why would he smile?

"Good job, brother," said Itachi, standing behind Sasuke, his hands clasped behind his back. Sasuke whirled, bloody kunai ready, and stopped when he saw Itachi nod to the body on the ground. Every instinct in him screamed not to look away, and yet his eyes were drawn to the body, an irresistible desire to see the truth pulling his eyes away from his hated brother and to the form of his teammate, Sakura, writhing on the ground in pain, her breath coming out in desperate, shallow coughs.

Sasuke dropped his knife and knelt next to her, trying to hold back the crimson flow of life pouring out of her, but no amount of pressure or desperation could keep a ruined heart from failing. She reached out and pressed her hand against his cheek, still smiling in spite of the pain, then fell back and laid still, her eyes open and staring at him lifelessly.

"Such a waste," said Itachi, his voice as bland as ever. "She might have made for a good brood horse for the clan after you were dead."

Sasuke stood and threw a set of kunai, his mind set firmly on killing Itachi. There was no more holding back. The Hokage could step between them and he would kill the man to get to his cursed brother.

His family was dead.

His friend was dead.

What else could be taken, that was worth more than those things?

The kunai kept flashing out from his hands, tracking Itachi's every move. He only stopped when Kakashi slammed into his side, driving him to the ground with nothing more than his greater weight and strength. The gray haired jonin grabbed a fist full of Sasuke's shit and lifted him from the ground, only to slam him back down, driving the air from his lungs from the impact. "Stop, Sasuke, stop! You're killing people!"

Sasuke stopped struggling, and only then did he hear the panicked cries, the alarms, the screams and moans. He turned his head and saw a woman, leaning over and clutching her stomach while a medical shinobi rushed to her. He saw a man screaming and clutching his face, blood dripping from his fingers and the handle of the kunai imbedded in him.

He saw the little boy, his eyes open in horror, his toy shuiken still in his hand even as he lost his battle to survive the deep slash across his throat.

"It.. Itachi! Itachi was here! Find him!" He tried to rise, only to be pressed firmly to the ground by his teacher. Other shinobi arrived. The medics ran to those who were injured. The ANBU ran and surrounded him.

One leaned in and said clearly, "Sir, no enemy has been reported. Those who survived claim to have seen nobody resembling Uchiha Itachi, nor any other suspicious activity before the… event."

Kakashi looked down at Sasuke, and something died within him, a spark of spirit that Sasuke had never noticed until it was suddenly missing from his teacher's one eye. "Take him to headquarters," the man said, quietly, emotionlessly. "I'll get Ibiki."

Sasuke took a step, then stopped, confused. Kakashi had been holding him down, calling for T&amp;I… Sakura was dead… but Sakura was waiting at Ichiraku's, already carrying two small boxes. "Just got a message," she said as Sasuke approached. "We've got a mission to pick up."

Sasuke whirled in place, already reaching for a weapon, then froze as he realized what was happening. He sighed and stood, abandoning his defensive stance. "It's an illusion. I'm not going to bother fighting you in here, Itachi." He turned back and was unsurprised to see Itachi holding Sakura up, a kunai to her neck.

The man nodded once. "Yes, this is an illusion, little brother. And it will be an illusion for some time, possibly. But tell me… You know how the Sharingan works. I must see you, you must see me. Which means I am here, now, in the village, looking at you as you stride your easygoing way to the young woman you seem to value. At some point, the illusion will end." He slowly drew the kunai across Sakura's neck while she struggled, crying quietly as her blood flowed over her captor's hand.

"Are you so sure the illusion isn't over already?"

* * *

Itachi, emotionless as always, slowly drove the blade into Kakashi's heart. The man struggled feebly, his broken limbs reaching hopelessly for the weapon sliding into his chest, before he became a lifeless corpse. Sasuke struggled to rise and defend his mentor, only to slump to the ground, his broken body betraying him.

"Are you so sure the Illusion isn't over already?"

* * *

Sasuke stood over the body of the Sandaime Hokage, his chest heaving, his hands bloody to the elbow. The old man had shown up when Sasuke attacked Itachi, but Itachi had captured Hiruzen in an illusion as well, and Sasuke had been forced to fight back or die.

Itachi was leaning against a storefront, still pitiless, emotionless.

"Are you so sure the illusion isn't over already?"

* * *

Sasuke looked down at the blade in his gut, then looked up to see Sakura's eyes light up as the illusion over her faded. "I… I thought…. But…" Tears began to flow down her face as Sasuke collapsed to the ground with a low moan. She reached for the weapon still buried in his body, then stopped when she realized removing it might be worse than leaving it.

"Get… help..." Sasuke managed to grunt out.

Sakura stood, her lips trembling… then fled, crying, not towards the hospital or the Hokage's tower, but towards her own home. As soon as she did so, Itachi leaned over, looking down at Sasuke's face with bored detachment.

"Are you so sure the illusion isn't over already?"

* * *

Sasuke screamed and fell to the ground.

Sakura reacted instantly, dropping the food and rushing to where he lay on the pavement. He flailed wildly, striking her several times in his panicked struggles, before he finally stopped moving. Sakura looked him over quickly. Sasuke seemed to be unharmed… except for his cursed seal. The four elongated tomoe marks were spinning fast enough to make the seal look like a solid circle instead of four distinct marks, and as she watched, they slowed a slight amount, just noticeably.

Sakura's first instinct was to call for help… but she held back and instead picked her teammate up and over her shoulders. She _could_ call for help, but she wasn't that far from the hospital. It would be faster to get him there herself. She took off, jumping onto the wall and then to the roof, smashing the tiles in her haste.

Below, the civilian crowd murmured and gossiped and grumbled... except for two of them. A slim, raven haired woman and her large, bald bodyguard stood from where they had been eating a light lunch and started to walk away.

"Hope you got what you needed, Itachi," Kisame grunted quietly, his henge smiling hugely. "I'd hate to think all this effort was pointless, and without even a single good fight."

The woman nodded in return. "I hope so too," Itachi replied without inflection.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, long time no see. Sorry for the relatively short chapter, but I felt it was needed setup for the future. And I hope you enjoyed my introduction to Itachi. You have the power to control another human's perceptions for up to three days. Yes, you can stab them a lot... but why do that, when you can break their fragile grasp on reality and drive them _mad_?

So, yeah… good to see you too. Sorry, but life has become rather busy. Since the last chapter, I have driven across the country and back twice, worked far too many hours, had a family cancer scare (it's fine), and dealt with a silly amount of writer's block. But… tah daaaa.

Unfortunately, my update rate will not be all that much better in the near future. Life is busy, and this is a very low priority. That said, having finally figured out the transition between different parts of the fic, I hope to make it much sooner than this chapter.

It's been a long while, so let's see what we have to comment on, review-wise…

**sanjiyanunkara** (holy hell, that's a screen name) asked if a twelve year old would get the concept of necessary destruction. On their own, probably not, but having it explained to them, quite possibly. They also pointed out my favorite factoid of the Naruto setting, about how Madara's meteors would, in a realistic setting, probably wipe out most of the life on the planet, and would certainly destroy any meaningful civilization.

**Read-Sleep-Routine** prefers fangirl Sakura over my version. Thankfully, there is an entire library of fanfiction that rolls with that. Enjoy.

**Varder** (and a few others) mentioned the suddenly missing Jiraiya. I thought I had addressed that… and in an editing pass, discovered that part was gone. I have now added it back in. Varder also had an interesting theory about Orochimaru that was captivating… and hilariously wrong. Still, a good guess, and a reasonable one too.

**Katari Michelos** asked why Sasuke would not have his Sharingan from the massacre if an illusion would do. I half suspect that the Sharingan is like a puzzle box, in that you can't unlock things out of order. Sasuke was traumatized… but he was not really under threat of death at the time. Also, arguably, as a six year old, he might not have enough comprehension of his mortality to suffer that level of fear. But all that is debatable. To be honest, that always bugged me in canon.

**UrsaAdrift **says I should feel special for how long their usually terse review was for my story. Rest assured, I appreciate it, even if I'd rather avoid the glitter bomb.

**Womgi** does not care for the "Homomakes," but politely so, which is cool. If it helps any, that level of excessive ick will never go beyond the omakes. Again, just avoid anything Trollrochimaru writes. To be truthful, I wrote them and an homage to the terribad fics we've all stumbled across in every fandom. Trollrochimaru is a bad writer, but he revels in it instead of lamenting it. Don't even ask about Trollriya…

**Cute Kirby** (good to see you!) mentioned it would be stupid for anyone to do a double watch in foreign territory. Rest assured, Naruto was not the only one keeping an eye out that night, I just didn't want to spell it out. I would love for you to PM your speculations, because I highly suspect you are at least on the right track.

**Lthayer3**, thank you for the meaningful and, more importantly, polite criticism. If every critic was as well thought and well mannered as you, I'd have nothing to rant about in amusing little asides. You may be glad to know that I am working on retrofitting chapter 37 to make a little more sense. To be honest, it was not all that well written, and I just never went back to it. But I am keeping the 4th wall break. Non-negotiable :)

**The Amol** _haaaated_ how Sakura lost her innocence, and how I never acknowledged what killing a person would do to a 12 year old. They mention how genin are never sent into war, even as support… but fail to note that "genin" get promoted real fast when there is a war (it's a key point in the backgrounds of several characters, if I recall). These are kids going to Assassin School. It's going to happen. Hell, they all lost claim to innocence by the end of the Wave arc in canon anyhow. Kakashi is the type that goes, "rip the bandaid off and be there to help with the pain", as opposed to Danzo's "they're tools, tools don't feel." Two quite different approaches.


	44. From Suffering, Comes Wisdom

Sakura sat in a chair outside of the critical care section and fought against the urge to cry. She had delivered Sasuke to the hospital, where it took only a moment for the medic on duty to rush him him off to the chakra illness ward. Nobody forbade her from entering… but nobody permitted it either, and Sakura knew well enough that getting in the way of a healer at the wrong time could cause disaster.

Since she had arrived, she had seen Kakashi, the woman with the purple hair from the exams, and the Hokage himself enter the ward, as well as several others she was not familiar with. But they were experienced, and she was not. She waited.

Nearly an hour later, a nurse stopped in her rounds to let Sakura know that she would be permitted to visit the next day, and encouraged her to go home. At a loss, feeling useless, she did so. She went home, had a very small meal, and then retired to a long and sleepless night.

The first light of dawn found her waiting patiently in the visitor's room. The same nurse from the other day, now wearing a light jacket as she headed for the front door, actually turned around the moment she saw Sakura and clocked back in to take the girl to her friend.

And yet, as early as she was, she was not the first to see Sasuke that day.

She jumped slightly, her hands heading for her kunai pouch, when she opened the door and saw the ANBU, Weasel, standing over Sasuke and watching him. The moment she arrived, he walked over to her and leaned in. "We're not sure how he is right now. Something tried to influence his mind, and something else got in the way, possibly that seal on his neck. Be on guard, just in case." He gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, then with a final glance at Sasuke, left.

In hindsight, Sakura might have found it odd for an ANBU to be visiting in uniform. But that thought was brushed aside as she stepped over to the bedside and looked down on her teammate and friend.

He was not resting well. His arms and legs had been strapped to the bed, and periodically he would thrash slightly in his restraints before growing calm. He gritted his teeth periodically, as if in some unbearable pain.

Curious, Sakura carefully lifted his head to one side and looked at the seal on his neck. Each time he struggled, the seal would spin, eventually slowing to a stop when he ceased moving. She sat back, then jumped when someone laid a hand on her shoulder. She spun, instinctively lashing out at whoever had managed to sneak up on her, and then froze when the Hokage caught her fist. He did not look offended, and waved away her stammered apology to focus on the Uchiha.

"Tell me, Sakura, what do you think is happening?"

She took a moment to order her thoughts, then said, "I think the seal is hurting him, possibly mentally. Every time he pushes and fights, the seal starts to spin, and it stops when he does. "

The Hokage nodded to himself, then gently leaned over and turned Sasuke's head to show her the seal. "Watch closely," he said quietly, and together they stood quietly for a few minutes until Sasuke started to clench and strain again.

Sakura frowned.

The seal started spinning _after _Sasuke started to move.

The Hokage nodded when he saw her narrow her eyes, and he let Sasuke's head slump back into place. "Yes," he said, stepping back slightly. "The seal, according to everyone I have gathered and questioned about it, seems to be helping Sasuke. There is a foreign chakra flowing through his system that regularly triggers an episode. Every time it does, the seal starts up and absorbs some of the chakra until the effect ends. Every time this happens, the overall amount of foreign chakra goes down. We expect it to be gone some time tonight."

Sakura listened to his explanation with more and more confusion, until she finally blurted out, "But why is it doing that? That's the seal Orochimaru put on him, the one he attacked Ino to apply. Why would it be so... helpful?"

"I do not know," the Hokage replied, shaking his head. "There is little my former student does that makes sense to me any more. He leaves here in disgrace for doing terrible deeds, comes back as the leader of a hidden village, and is polite. Even _friendly_, at times. And I cannot imagine why he would do so. He gives Sasuke a seal that makes the boy better at resisting… well."

He must have noticed the look on Sakura's face, because he took a moment to give her a smile. "What matters for now, Sakura, is that Sasuke is slowly recovering from an attack that can leave permanent mental impairment, in a way that clearly indicates he will likely be fine. For now, let us focus on that. Just keep an eye on him, both for damage… and for danger. You understand?"

Sakura nodded, a grimace on her face. Sasuke had just suffered a mental attack that could make him dangerously unbalanced… and then started healing with the help of an unknown seal. He could come out of this dangerous to himself, to others… even her, and as much as it hurt to admit it, she knew her duty.

The Hokage nodded again, his own face grim, but he managed a small smile. "You've been cleared to stand by for his awakening. In many cases, victims of such effects need a calming and trusted influence when they come to." He gave one final glance at Sasuke, then turned and opened the door. "Goodnight, Sakura."

He didn't wait for her to reply, which suited her fine as she turned back to her fallen friend and watched him silently.

The first sign Sakura had that Sasuke had awoken was the sensation of cold steel pressed to her throat from where she sat, her upper torso resting on the bed where she had fallen asleep. Her eyes snapped open and immediately took in the empty bed, and she could feel the slight difference in the weight of her equipment pouch to explain the presence of a weapon.

She clamped down on her instinct to struggle and instead did her best to remain calm. She could hear his breathing, ragged and fast, and the weapon trembled slightly against her throat.

"Easy, Sasuke. Easy. It's okay. It's me."

A rough hand grabbed her hair and pressed down on her head slightly, restraining her. "That's what you always say. Then Itachi will detonate the tag, or stab through you to get to me… or control you to try to kill me. Either way, it always ends the same."

"I'd never kill you, Sasuke."

"You never had the chance," he replied coldly.

She felt the blade press slightly harder against her neck and acted. Her hand shot out and grabbed the kunai by the blade, hand clamping firmly in place. Sasuke pressed harder, and her fingers began to bleed, but without momentum, he was not strong enough to cut through against the strength of her chakra-enhanced grip.

"Sasuke, you need to stop," she said coldly. "I won't let you kill me, or anyone else, regardless what you went through. And if you do manage to kill me, Kieri already knows to hunt you down before you hurt anyone else."

She began to push the blade away from her neck, and was surprised to find no resistance to her efforts. She stood and whirled away, looking at her teammate in the meager light of the moon through the curtain. He was standing still, having already backed a few steps away, and while the blade was still in his hand, he held it to his side as if forgotten.

"Sakura… who is Kieri?" His voice trembled as he spoke.

She held her hands away from her body, palms up, not daring to move. "She's my cat, and my primary summon. I actually asked her not to be here to make sure she didn't over-react if this happened."

He dropped the knife and staggered over to the hospital bed, sitting on the edge with his back to her. "I want to believe you're real… The illusions of you never had Kieri with her, and never really fought back. I… I can't believe you would not fight back. Not even against me. Especially me."

Sakura slowly approached, and when Sasuke didn't react, she reached out and laid an arm across his shoulders, which caused him to flinch. She leaned against him slightly, then noticed something that made her wonder if she was in an illusion now.

Sasuke was crying. He didn't sob or gasp for air. In truth, he was eerily silent. But there was no mistake when the tears began to fall down his cheeks. He slumped even further, his head bowed down in exhaustion.

"He killed you," he said quietly, little more than a whisper filtered through his tears. "He killed you, and Kakashi… every civilian on the street, every shinobi that tried to help, the Hokage, the Council… everyone. He killed you all, right in front of me, over and over again. Everyone was powerless against him… Even me. Especially me." He took a deep shuddering breath, a gasp for air.

"He had me kill everyone. It… it was an accident… but that didn't make you any less dead. I'd stab him in the neck, and watch Kakashi struggle to hold back the blood. I stabbed him in the gut, then held you and watched you die a slow and painful death, forgiving me with your very last breath."

Then the tears stopped, and Sasuke lifted his head to look at Sakura, his sharingan activated. With his bright crimson eyes standing out in the dark his visage became more than a little terrifying, all the more so when she noticed that his eyes now had three tomoe each, fully activated for the first time. "And each time, he asked me the same question. Over and over again. 'Are you so sure the illusion isn't over already?' he'd ask. Every time I failed to save someone. Every time I killed the wrong person. Every. Time."

"How long were you in there?" she asked.

"Sixty-eight hours. I… I know a little of what he's done. I made sure to count down, once I caught on. Worst case, I've got four more hours to go."

Sakura nodded and quietly got up. After a quick search, she sat down next to him again, leaned over, and placed a small clock on the bedstand. "We'll wait five hours, just to be sure."

* * *

Hiruzen opened the door to the hospital room quietly to find the two genin sleeping, still leaning against each other. He smiled to himself and started to close the door.

"Hokage-sama," said Sasuke quietly.

Hiruzen opened the door a bit and looked at the young man.

"When I am released," Sasuke said, keeping his body perfectly still, even his head still slumped to one side, "I wish to speak to you about something."

"What about?"

Sasuke smirked, perfectly aware of what might sound like a return to form. "Training," he said quietly, before he shut his eyes again. Within moments, he began to breath deeply, in meditation or in sleep.

Hiruzen smiled and shut the door quietly.

* * *

Sasuke shut his eyes for a moment, breathing slowly, and then opened them again to glance at the clock. _I remember hitting the five hour mark clearly,_ he thought to himself. _Sakura kept me awake. Told stories. Gossip. Bad jokes. Whatever it took._

He didn't want to admit it, but her presence had been tolerable, and even pleasant. He still had no interest in the chattering gossip she still partook upon, and little in the way of a sense of humor… but she knew that, and adapted to it. Her gossip was less about who was dating whom, and more about what weird training Lee was doing nowadays, or how Ino was shaping up in her taijutsu, or whatever Tenten did that wrecked half of training ground nine in a hellish explosion that left bits of iron embedded in the ground for four hundred feet. Her jokes were less about punchlines, and more about Kakashi getting punched, which was often deserved as well as amusing.

The stories… those had been about her, and her family, and her old friends, and other drivel that Sasuke cared nothing about but still found himself listening to anyhow. He didn't feel angry at wasting his time listening to her talk, nor did he feel resentful that she had family where he did not. Just hearing her talk about the drab realities of her life was a comfort. Dead teammates don't tell stories.

Breathing quietly as he started to drift back into sleep, his mind drifted back to the textbook Kakashi had given him on genetics.

The genes for green eyes were recessive to the genes for black eyes.

* * *

It took several days before Sasuke was deemed fit to leave the hospital, but within a half hour of being discharged, he and Sakura were standing before the Hokage and Kakashi. Both stood strong, almost defiant in their body language, and while the Hokage had an impressive poker face, Kakashi looked aggrieved, at the very least.

"Say that again," said Kakashi.

"It's time to disband Team Seven," said Sakura.

Hiruzen leaned forward. "Explain," he said, his face still emotionless.

"We're down a man," said Sasuke, frowning slightly. "Gaara has become more stable since he and Naruto switched, but he is nowhere near ready for active duty, I think. This means we're short-handed, and we'll either get a new genin assigned to us, or be relegated to D-rank missions until who knows when."

"Besides," said Sakura with a smirk, glancing at the Hokage, "we've been seeing an increase in assignments. You could probably use Kakashi as something more than a glorified babysitter. At least he would not be getting paid to read on the job."

"Hey," said Kakashi, huffing theatrically as Hiruzen repressed a snort. "I'm right here, you know."

Sakura nodded and shot Kakashi a nasty grin. "And in the last week, I've seen you ejected from Asuma's house, ejected _forcefully _from Anko's, locked up _twice_ by T&amp;I, and been kneed in the groin by Kurani in an admittedly beatific manner. You're bored, sensei, and breaking in another genin will drive you and us both into madness." She looked back to the Hokage, and her grin faded. "Besides… Sasuke and I both know what we need to do next."

This got a look of surprise from Hiruzen, who glanced at Kakashi and noticed the man was just as surprised. _So they didn't tell him this in advance._ _They must have spent Sasuke's time in the hospital discussing things. _He focused on Sakura. "And what is that, Sakura?"

Sakura seemed to slump slightly, closing her eyes and letting out a long breath, but when she opened them again, her stare was as hard as iron. "I intend to begin training for T&amp;I, and would like to gain your blessing and recommendation."

"Sakura," said Kakashi hesitantly, worry evident in his tone and face, "T&amp;I means Torture and Interrogation. It is… not a gentle field of study, on the body or the mind. I would not wish that duty to fall to myself, never mind my student."

Sakura did not look offended, but instead gave Kakashi a warm smile. That warmth was somewhat ruined, however, by the fire in her eyes. "I understand and appreciate the warning, but someone will someday have to take on that duty, and I suspect I'll be better at it than most of the alternatives.

Hiruzen considered her words carefully, keeping his face still as he did so. _Of her age group, only Nara Shikamaru is smarter, and he is certainly more suited to code breaking and organization. Aburame Shino might manage to have the right aura of disinterest, but once the shock of immediacy wears off, most of his techniques and skills are unsuited to long term interrogation. And while Yamanaka Ino might have her father's skill in mind jutsu, her nature does not seem fitting for the more... vigorous duties in T&amp;I._

He sighed and nodded. "I will send word to Morino Ibiki and suggest your candidacy for T&amp;I training. Passing the test he gives you will be your own concern." He ignored the angry glare Kakashi was aiming at him and turned to Sasuke. "And what do you intend to seek?"

Sasuke stepped forward, then dropped to his knees and pressed his head to the floor. "Teach me, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen chuckled and told the boy to stand. "I'm not a young man," he said once Sasuke was facing him again. "I may not be able to teach you as much as you might think. Most of my techniques have been taught to others. They can teach you to fight as well as I could."

"You're still a strong warrior, and I would enjoy learning your skills, but that's not my only purpose," said Sasuke, his usual stern appearance firmly in place. "I want you to teach me to lead. Someday, I will have a clan, and I want to be prepared to avoid the pitfalls of my ancestors. Someday, I will likely have command over others, and I want to be prepared to guide them as well as I can. And someday, Kakashi will have to pass that hat."

"To you?" asked Kakashi, his tone playful.

"To… someone else, I think." Sasuke let a fond grin spread across his face, and found it felt good. "And when he gets it, he'll need someone to help make sense of the mess you'll leave him."

"What of your brother?" asked Hiruzen, watching closely, alert to any sudden change in manner, and surprised to find the boy almost unfazed by the question. "A leader cannot put himself first. It might well be that your brother might escape unpunished, if your duties prevent you from acting. What then?"

Sasuke's grin faded, but he did not become the surly boy Hiruzen expected. There was a hint of anger in his tone, but far less than Hiruzen had expected. "Kakashi once asked me, 'Why listen to your brother's advice, when he's nothing but a traitor?' My brother's message has always been the same. Get strong. Get revenge. Over and over again. But he tipped his hand this time. He _wants _me to kill him for some reason, but I'll be damned if I let him direct my life like that. If I get the chance, I'll gladly end his life… but I will not discard my own to find it, and I will not risk the deaths of others for something so small as vengance."

Hiruzen went quiet and looked at Kakashi, who was looking rather surprised, and a little pensive. He then stood and walked around his desk to stand before Sasuke, placing a hand on the young man's shoulder. "I will train you," he said quietly, looking at Sasuke sadly, "If that is what you truly want. But before you make that decision, there is something you must know…" He leaned in and whispered something in the boy's ear.

After a moment, Sasuke leaned back, anger and disappointment warring on his face. Sakura could see something else in her friend's face as well, a sort of acceptance, like preparing to take a bitter but vital medicine. She placed her hand on Sasuke's other shoulder and got a pained smile from him before he took a deep breath and let it out.

Hiruzen nodded carefully. "That is the price you pay, to be a leader. You often carry burdens so others do not have to. Is that still what you want?"

Sasuke felt like he should be angry, but found that his once-constant fury had deserted him. Even after Kakashi had pushed him away from his obsession, it simmered in the back of his mind, always present, counting down the seconds as get worked and struggled and fought to get that much closer to that final confrontation. And now…

_My brother is not a traitor._

"I… I will want to know the full story," he finally said.

Hiruzen nodded, and it was not lost to Sasuke that the old man looked as sad as he felt.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew. Nothing kills one's efforts like a combination of 50+ hours a week on top of writer's block. I apologize if this chapter skips time frequently, but I found that I could not make the parts between interesting enough to write out. This is a short chapter, as I suspect I'll be covering all three members of Team Seven separately from here.

In general, the pre-timeskip era is drawing to a close. My intention is to do a series of "filler" adventures to show the characters training and growing, before we get back to significant plot.

Oh, and I've seen it pop up a few times, so I'll answer directly: Itachi is not female in this story. It was a henge.

Sorry this one is short. Wanted to get the set up out of the way so I can work on something actually interesting ^_^.

**General Review Statement: **If you need to say in your review, "I hope you don't take this personally," stop. Right there. Your ideas may be sound, but your delivery is going to be terrible, and if you type that or anything similar, you're self aware enough to know better. If you use a descriptor commonly used as an insult (Stupid, Ignorant, Moronic), you imply not that the work has some sort of inconsistency, but that the writer is incompetent.

Disagree with my writing? Sure. That's life. But when you say things like "that's stupid," you're demonstrating the assumption that you are _absolutely_ correct. As in, you are correct as a matter of fact, impossible to contradict. If you believe your views to be and absolute truth on anything that is not based on mathematically definable science or recorded evidence, I have some bad news. Your ego is showing, and you might want to tuck it back in before we see it. Ghastly thing, wiggling in the breeze. Zip it up!

**Kiara Benihime** mentions that in canon, Sasuke unlocked his sharingan because of the massacre, but did not remember. I admit, I never saw that episode, wherever it was, but it reeks of "author's saving throw," to me. Either way, it's not directly relevant to the story as far as I can tell, so I'll pass on inserting it, but thanks for the information.

**TiamatisObscure** requested I broaden Shino's skill repertoire, as he kinda got shuffled into the "Bigger Jutsu" career path in canon. Rest assured, it'll (probably) happen.

**Dude**. Ackackackackackack.

**Jatok** comments about Naruto leaning about his parentage, but Sasuke not learning about Itachi. Umm… Tahdaaaaa! Just had to wait for the right time.

**Um the Muse** pointed out that the math is wrong way back in chapter 8. I could have sworn I fixed that literally years ago, but I guess not. I'll try to get that fixed.

**Phunbaba** mentioned it might have been interesting to see something really out of the blue, like Sasuke getting crippled fighting Lee. I considered such things a few times. Considered that scenario. Considered Ino getting murderhoboed during her failure in the forest. Considered having Neji scar Hinata, Zuko style, before he pulled his head out of his backside (that's actually the seed of their fight). Considered literally killing Naruto in the fight against Gaara, just to anger readers (but it didn't fit the rest of the plot.) In the end, horrible mutilation took my story in a far darker direction than I wanted to go, so I passed.


End file.
